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00:00Music
00:27It was Chris, we'd see you back
00:32In the drunk tank
00:36An old man sat in
00:40Won't see another one
00:44And then we sang a song
00:49The rare old mountain tune
00:53I turned my face away
00:57And dreamed about you
01:01Got on a lucky one
01:06Came in and looked into one
01:10I've got a feeling
01:14There's years remaining
01:18So happy Christmas
01:23I love you baby
01:27I can see a better time
01:31When all our dreams come true
01:35Happy Christmas
01:36They got cars, figures, bars
01:49They got rivers of gold
01:51But the windows run through you
01:52It's no place for the old
01:54When you first took my hand
01:55On a cold Christmas Eve
01:57You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
02:00You were handsome
02:01You were pretty queen
02:02I've knew your city
02:03When the band finished playing
02:04When the band finished playing
02:06You know she's invited Adam and Alya, don't you?
02:08Oh, don't
02:09I mean, she could have invited one of your exes
02:11Balance it out a bit
02:12Who's she?
02:14The cat's mother?
02:15Do you like what I got Eva?
02:17It reminds me of that quote from the Bible
02:20Pearls before swine
02:22Ma!
02:23What?
02:24Why is everyone so serious?
02:26Come on, it's Christmas!
02:28Our first guest has arrived
02:30Merry Christmas
02:31Hello, thank you
02:32A secret Santa contribution
02:34I hope I'm not too early
02:35Oh, of course not
02:36Nan's been on the eggnog since breakfast
02:38The mouth on that
02:40Let me get you one, Megan
02:42Wait till you taste it
02:43You'll die
02:45Mwah
02:47Don't let her get to you
02:48Rise above it
02:50Oh, I'm rising
02:51Practically transcendental
02:53Hm
02:59Closed?
03:01Closed on Christmas Day?
03:05I mean, it's like the ravens have left the tower
03:08They will be opening later, I believe
03:10Family meal?
03:12I mean, lucky for some, eh?
03:14In case of I'm alright, Jack, if ever I've heard one
03:18Happy birthday, David
03:20Yeah, ta
03:22Oh, yes, happy, er
03:23Mm, you know
03:27Merry Christmas
03:28You're a little late for last-minute shopping, aren't you?
03:30Oh, no, I wish
03:31No, wouldn't late for work
03:33See?
03:34Yes, fascinating
03:37I'm not surprised he doesn't want to be at home at the moment
03:41Why?
03:43What's been happening at Lesbian Ranch?
03:50My donation for our secret Santa
03:55Oh, yeah, erm, the table looks dead nice, Eva
03:58I hope you'll be handing out sunglasses
04:01Now, Ollie, as wonderful as it is to see you bonding with little Frankie here
04:05Don't you think you should go check on the food?
04:08Of course
04:10Everything's under control, Nan
04:13He's making my favourite
04:15A bird within a bird within a bird
04:18You seen something you don't like, Maggie?
04:25Plenty
04:30Ta-da
04:32Hey
04:34Oh, I hate leaving you on your own
04:36I'm gonna sit and mope and watch everything I've circled in the TV Guide
04:40Well, at least you know I'll come back sober
04:42Yep, Kev's enough to make anyone leave that
04:46Right, come on then, me and you, let's get off
04:49To see Jack and open some presents
04:52See you later, Missy
04:53Oh, some presents?
04:54More presents!
04:55Thanks
05:04It just feels weird being here
05:06Especially when I'm leaving Leanne to fend for herself at speed, darling
05:08Well, they invited us
05:10And Ollie's meant to be a great cook, so...
05:12Come on, open it
05:13It's symbolic
05:17Of what?
05:18The key to your heart
05:20Listen, I love you
05:22And I think we should move in together
05:25In fact, we can pick up the keys for Kit's old flat at Red Bank whenever you want
05:30Are you serious?
05:31Yeah, I'm serious
05:33Ali and Azir, will you make me the happiest man on earth?
05:35And there's anything
05:37I'd love to
05:41Kit, what did you think you were doing?
05:43Ah, come on, babe, it's Christmas
05:44One or two won't hurt
05:46As long as it's only one or two
05:48Bird within a bird within a bird sounds very...
05:53Henry VIII
05:55Divorced, beheaded, died
05:57Divorced, beheaded...
05:58Survived
06:00I always find that last one very disappointing
06:02Hey!
06:04Hey!
06:05Merry Christmas!
06:06Merry Christmas, Daniel
06:07Hello, young man
06:08Just wanted to give Megan a Christmas present
06:10Oh, and is this your little guy?
06:13Couldn't you just eat him?
06:15Come here to me
06:17Oh, you're gorgeous
06:19You must stay for dinner
06:21We'll set two more places
06:23We have more company
06:25Well, I'm sure Daniel's got all the places to be
06:27Hey, us barlows would do anything to avoid Tracy's crusty old nut roast
06:31Perfect!
06:33We'll take the little lad upstairs to where the other kids are playing
06:36And would someone give Daniel here a drink from the bar?
06:39Thought we weren't doing gifts
06:41Well, aren't you going to open it?
06:42Open it
06:48So...
06:50A weekend away at the Dovedale Spa for two
06:55Oh, wow!
06:56That's supposed to be amazing
06:58Thank you
07:00Will!
07:01Sorry about him
07:13He's missing his girlfriend
07:15Chloe and Hull
07:18Bless him
07:22So, Audrey's gone to Gales for Christmas, has she?
07:25Did she fly?
07:26Yeah, bless her
07:27Oh, I so miss air travel
07:30You know, the glamour of the trolley dollies
07:32In-flight entertainments
07:34And on one particularly memorable jaunt across the Grand Canyon
07:37The giddy thrills of the Mile High Club
07:40I hope you two don't want feeding
07:43David!
07:45Worry not, we're not peripatetic noshers
07:47We just drop by to wish you felicitations of the season
07:50And a happy birthday, of course
07:52Sorry, er, David's a bit stressed
07:54His birthday present from his mum's gone missing
07:56Well, I'm not bothered, do I look bothered?
07:59Yes, David, actually, you look incredibly bothered
08:01Oh, the curse of the light-fingered postman strikes again
08:05Abby Demi is not light-fingered
08:07Abby Demi's quite fit, actually
08:09Oh, broad!
08:11You know, Mother swore blind that she sent me Ben Shepard novelty coasters last Michaelmas
08:16Did they arrive? Did they poncho?
08:18Gail sent a picture that the delivery driver took
08:22Whose doorstep does that look like to you?
08:24I mean, I had to make my own out of cork flooring, pastry cutter and a couple of taker breaks
08:29Well, it's classic Gail, innit?
08:31She's got a postcode to a house that she lived at for four million years
08:34Could that be Tim and Sally's?
08:37I don't want a stupid present, anyway
08:42Oh!
08:43Now that is one hell of a moist breast
08:48Clumptious, that's what it is
08:51Oh, potatoes think it's Christmas
08:53Oh, hang on a minute, it is!
08:55And compliments to the chef
08:57Thank you, Todd
08:59Cheers!
09:01I'm the sous chef
09:03Did you get my email?
09:06Oh, I'm so sorry, that's so rude of me
09:09Yes, thank you very much
09:11What email?
09:13Summer's got him the most amazing gift she was telling us before
09:16Lovely
09:17I'm jealous
09:18I am, I am spitting feathers
09:20Right, so you know he really fancies Andrew Scott
09:23So I have got him tickets to an Andrew Scott retrospective at a film festival
09:28Including a Q&A with the man himself
09:31Was Andrew Scott in Etty Wainthrop?
09:33Oh, lucky Etty
09:35I don't think so
09:37Didn't know you were such a fan of his canon of work
09:41I don't think it was that canon he was interested in
09:43Oh, what did the kids get you for you? Was it socks and smellies?
09:48Oh, kids, honestly
09:50They can be so unimaginative, can't they?
09:52Do you know what Daisy got me one Christmas?
09:55What?
09:56A pencil sharpener
09:58No, they've not got me now yet, but I'm sure that'll be rectified soon
10:03I got to try the form, didn't I love?
10:07Yeah, it's gorgeous
10:09Oh, isn't it amazing we can get in the 50 piece shop these days
10:13Is it Andrew Scott, though, eh?
10:15I don't think he is
10:16He thinks you fancy Terry Scott
10:18He's that hot priest in that thing where she went round being posh talking to him
10:22Oh, yes, no, I know, I know, yeah, yeah
10:25Speaking of vicars
10:27Billy's taking his time, isn't he?
10:29It's his busiest day of the year, innit?
10:31Ah, all these hot priests everywhere, eh?
10:34What a lucky boy you are, Tor, eh?
10:38This is lovely
10:40Really good
10:41You all right, Lisa Lou?
10:47Erm, I got a text from Roy, he says you rang the hotel that Cara booked on and she never checked in
10:54Oh, no biggie, maybe she changed her mind and went somewhere else
10:58Well, obviously she went somewhere else, the question is where, and she's disabled the tracker on her phone, so...
11:04Right
11:06Well, I'm nipping out for an hour
11:09What now?
11:10Well, I can't divulge too much, but even on Christmas Day there's stuff I need to sort for Spain
11:15Crikey, you're in and out all times I lived in, Carla
11:19Sorry
11:20Mm-hmm
11:23Sorry
11:35Hey, I just wanted to check you were cool with me and Ali have been here, Maggie kinda press ganged us
11:40Yeah, she's good at that, it's fine, darling
11:43You okay?
11:44My letter
11:46Which letter? The letter?
11:49I think someone's taken it out of my bag
11:51Look, let me have a look in your bag, maybe a fresh pair of ice
12:10I've done nothing but check it, fill your boots
12:14I don't believe that it's just fallen out somewhere
12:16Well, if it has, someone's obviously chucked it, which is a good thing, no news is good news
12:21I feel sick, it's not there, is it?
12:23No
12:24Oh, do you know what, Maggie's been so off with me, but then she's like that every day, isn't she?
12:28I'm sure if she'd found it, you'd know by now
12:30Yeah, that's true
12:31Look, calm down, deep breaths
12:34All right, babe, everything all right in here?
12:37Yeah, fine
12:38I'd better, erm...
12:39Listen, babe, I've got no problem with your ex being here but holding hands
12:47I know, I'm sorry
12:48What happens the next time we walk in, he's unhooking your bra?
12:50He was just giving me a pep talk
12:52With his fingers?
12:53Babe, I was just getting wound up about Maggie, he was just calming me down
12:56So come to me, not Bonnie Prince Charlie
12:58I know, I'm sorry
13:00Look, for what it's worth, I'm sorry about my ma
13:02Which bit?
13:04All of her
13:06Come on, babe, strength of the numbers
13:07Welcome
13:26You all right?
13:30I'm sorry to hear about your mum
13:32Yeah
13:34It's what it is
13:36Happens to us all eventually, I guess
13:42You must miss her
13:44I'm being daft, really, but...
13:47Yeah
13:48Nothing daft about it
13:50People are still around, you wanna make the most of him
13:55It's what we need, isn't it?
13:56What?
13:58Human contact
14:04You haven't stolen Gail's presents
14:07Yeah, but that looks like your doorstep, doesn't it?
14:10That's nothing like our doorstep, you plum
14:13Well, Mary said it was
14:15Well, has Mary got a degree in step recognising?
14:18Well, it might have been Brian
14:20Have you been shaming us on some sort of chat group?
14:23No, they came round for Christmas drinks
14:26Oh, since when were you, Pally, with Brian and Mary?
14:29I'm not
14:30You've never invited us round for Christmas drinks
14:32Look, I'm sure I would have noticed if one of our presents said
14:35Happy birthday, David, love, Mum
14:37Yeah
14:39Yeah, I suppose
14:40Well, you don't mind, I'm not bothered anyway
14:42I didn't wanna tell your face that
14:44Do you know what, Tim? Forget it!
14:45Mmm
14:49Nice ta
14:51Very festive
14:54I made that
14:56Yeah
14:58Bit dry
15:00Well, now you've had your meds and some scram
15:03You're gonna leave a nice reassuring voice note for my lady wife
15:06No, I'm not
15:08I'm not doing it
15:11You know when she realises I'm missing, she'll come looking for me
15:15Oh, right
15:17Do you really think so?
15:19You see, that's not the impression I got last night when she was...
15:24Oh, no, I don't wanna rub it in
15:27You can probably smell her perfume on me
15:33If I found the evidence that you're corrupt
15:36It's only a matter of time before this due to
15:39Oi, Miss World, shut your face
15:40Just need to reply to my lease
15:44Just need to reply to my lease
15:47Oh, she wants me
16:01She wants me
16:04Maybe I'm just better than you
16:06Oh, did I mention that we slept together last night?
16:09Again
16:11My bad, Naughty Becky
16:15That's what she said, actually
16:16He's acting like you used to a serious
16:28Oh, come on, it's not like I got him a present
16:31Or me
16:33Oh, really?
16:35Well, I feel a bit daft now
16:38Well, I feel a bit daft now
16:40Well, open it then
16:43A new earbuds, thanks
16:48There you are
16:53I feel I should be banging a gong
16:54Come in now, will you?
16:57Dinner is served
17:03Got a skirt on?
17:04It's a skirt
17:06Oh, oh!
17:07Sound of music!
17:09My girl, my girl
17:11Oh, I love that film
17:14I played Maria on the ships
17:16Oh, here we go, here we go
17:18We did the whole thing in 40 minutes
17:20I was basically editing highlights
17:21It was me spinning around on the Alp
17:23And then it cut straight to that Rolf
17:25Pulling a gun on those poor kiddies
17:27Good heavens
17:28They don't have like kiddies
17:29The wrong side of 30
17:31Still, the audience went nuts for it
17:33I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes
17:35I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes
17:36I've got Glenda
17:37If you ever suffer from insomnia
17:38Phone her up and ask her about a 12-minute chitty-chitty bang
17:40Here we go
17:42It's a song
17:43It's hard to tell with your acting
17:45Five words
17:46Yes, please, love
17:48First word, first word
17:50You okay?
17:52They're not answering
17:53Who?
17:54I'm trying to video call the kids
17:56No
17:58What are you doing?
18:00Oh
18:02Oh, he's
18:03A little more tipsy than he thinks, eh?
18:06I'll, um...
18:10Exactly
18:12This is so much better than Tracy's not
18:14What is it exactly?
18:15It's a big record?
18:17Mm-hmm
18:18It's a bird within a bird within a bird
18:20Ollie?
18:21It's a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey
18:24Do you like it?
18:25Yeah, it's fantastic, isn't it?
18:26Mm, so are the roasted
18:28And this not roast is definitely not crusty
18:31My grandson is a very special cook
18:34In fact, all my boys are special
18:37And they deserve to be surrounded by special things, Lauren
18:41How are the kids, well?
18:46Yeah, fine
18:47You're not tempted to stay with them
18:51My boys deserve only the best
18:54In life, in work, and especially in love
18:57Uh, is it time for Secret Santa yet?
19:05Food first
19:07Fun later
19:11So, um, do you like being a chef?
19:14I do, yeah
19:16Yeah, well, I'm in a rubbish cup now
19:18I bet you're not
19:19Nah, I am
19:20I could burn a salad
19:21We'll have to pout you for speed, darling
19:22You'll need a big pan
19:23That wee lad's going nowhere
19:26Wee lad? I bet you like that, mate
19:27I think I'll always be this wee lad
19:29A toast
19:30To my boys
19:33Merry Christmas
19:35Merry Christmas
19:39Hey
19:41The Poland Express is on later
19:43I thought we could all hunker down and watch it together
19:46Don't confuse the boundaries, Kev
19:48We did this for the lads
19:50Confuse the boundaries?
19:51I'm not throwing my lips on you
19:53He's won, I've lost
19:55I'm over it
19:56Kev
19:57Look, he might be younger than me
19:58He might be better looking than me
19:59Don't, you know what?
20:00I can't call with this
20:01I've got a text card telling me we're coming home
20:03Alfie!
20:05We need to go now, kiddo
20:07Can you hurry up?
20:09X
20:35Mobile, answer call on speakerphone.
20:38Colin?
20:40Colin, are you there?
20:43They have a weird concept, isn't it?
20:47Secrets on tap.
20:48Well, it's a bit weird buying vouchers for spa weekends for people you hardly even know.
20:53It's a family tradition.
20:55Do you know what? I actually do need socks.
20:57I said that this morning, didn't I?
20:58She did.
20:59Your pillow talk is outrageous.
21:02And the next one is for...
21:07Drumroll, please.
21:08Oh.
21:12Ben.
21:13Wee-hey.
21:17Is it a jigsaw?
21:19Oh, come on, what is it?
21:20Wouldn't you like to know?
21:25To my baby.
21:27Give it to me.
21:27Let him read.
21:28Ben, give it to me, please, give it to me.
21:30I said, let him read it.
21:33You bitch.
21:34Let my son read the lovely gift I got him.
21:38What is it?
21:39Oh, just evidence of an affair.
21:41What?
21:42Between Eva and Adam.
21:44Why are you so intent on killing our relationship?
22:08Maybe I don't want my son to be with a two-timing tart.
22:13Read it out to the group.
22:14Ma.
22:15It's a letter to the baby she aborted when she and Ben were going through a rough patch.
22:21Rough patch?
22:22He probably gave her a few dirty looks.
22:25He went back to his wife?
22:26And you went running back to the groin of his lordship here.
22:30Oh, sorry.
22:32Adam, my rock.
22:34This is true.
22:35Your words, not mine.
22:36There was no affair.
22:37I don't think that Adam's...
22:38Babe, I can explain.
22:39Well, go ahead then.
22:40And Adam continued to be her rock when she aborted their child.
22:45Oh, you're not a very nice person, are you?
22:47Do you know the worst of it?
22:48It's still going on.
22:49Oh, please.
22:50No, I'm not having it.
22:51It's not because it wasn't in the first place, babe, I promise.
22:54Well, it's got enough all to do with you.
22:56Is this why you two were holding hands earlier?
22:57What?
22:58No.
22:59Are you happy now?
23:00Not by a long shot.
23:02Because you have broken my son's heart.
23:04Whether or not Eva had an abortion is, frankly, none of your business.
23:08Is it not, frankly?
23:09Well, isn't it a woman's right to choose?
23:11What she chose was infidelity.
23:13What kind of a mother are you?
23:15Daniel.
23:15What, to do this to your own family?
23:17And on Christmas Day?
23:18You can take that smirk off your face and all.
23:20Mate, I'm not smirking.
23:22Nothing happened.
23:22Who do you think you're giving your dirty looks to?
23:24You're completely misreading the situation.
23:26Aye.
23:26Well, misread this.
23:27Ben!
23:27Oh!
23:27Oh!
23:28Oh!
23:28Oh!
23:28Oh!
23:28Oh!
23:28Oh!
23:30Oh!
23:30Oh!
23:30Oh!
23:31Oh!
23:32Oh!
23:32Oh!
23:34Yeah, don't worry, Betsy.
23:36I'm fine.
23:37I'm having a really lovely holiday.
23:41Only Roy rang that hotel and you're not staying there.
23:45No, I, uh, I had to move in the end.
23:49I'm staying at a new place now.
23:51It's, um, it's called Rhubarb Hill Hotel.
23:56Rhubarb Hill Hotel?
23:57Yeah, yeah.
23:58I'm in the busing suite.
24:00Heh.
24:01Well, I hope you're having a good time.
24:04I'm missing you.
24:05Yeah.
24:17James, get dressed and get up.
24:19Abby's on her way back.
24:20What?
24:21Just hurry up.
24:22Be quiet.
24:23I'm calling her.
24:23Hiya, love.
24:27Uh, where are ya?
24:28I'm just outside the main door.
24:30Wicked.
24:31Uh, listen, would you do me a favour?
24:32Would you just go to the car and get me charger out of the glove box, please?
24:36Ah, I haven't got the keys.
24:38Oh, but I, I, I thought you always had the keys.
24:40Oh, God, you lazy.
24:42Oh, no, hang on.
24:43I'll tell her lie.
24:43I've got them here.
24:44Yeah, do you mind?
24:46Yeah, of course I can.
24:46I'm running out of juice.
24:47Yeah, of course I can.
24:48Just give us a sec.
24:49All right, well, come on, we need to go and get Cal's charger.
24:55It's wicked.
25:07One more move like that and I'm phoning the police.
25:10Why do you hate me so much?
25:12Sit down.
25:13This could take some time.
25:14Oi, have you got anything to say for yourself?
25:17Oh, I've got plenty.
25:18OK, and don't you oi me.
25:20Lies, all lies.
25:21I never had an affair with Adam.
25:23The letter says different.
25:24He supported me while...
25:26How can you trust a silly word she says?
25:27Well, I was aborting our baby.
25:33What?
25:36The baby was ours.
25:43What was with that stupid hotel name?
25:46Well, I don't know, do I?
25:47I didn't think on my feet.
25:49You had a knife pointing at me.
25:52I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
25:54You're giving me a headache.
25:56Do you talk like this with Lise?
25:58No wonder she's gone off you.
26:00Biggest regret of my life, she said.
26:02Meeting Carla.
26:04The biggest regret of my life is following you here.
26:07You did not.
26:09Because I'd have known.
26:12Don't lie.
26:13I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
26:14I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
26:15I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
26:16Okay.
26:17All right.
26:18Costello.
26:19Tell me the address.
26:20The rest you do know.
26:22What rest do I know?
26:24That I broke in here.
26:25That you caught me red-handed.
26:29You know, but if I were you, I wouldn't have left an incriminating burner phone just lying
26:35around linking me to a hit on Costello.
26:37Oh, you're so boring.
26:40Right.
26:42Well, I can't stand around here chewing the cud all day.
26:45People to see, wives to bed.
26:48So she's not your wife, is she?
26:51Because you're officially dead.
26:53So that makes her your widow.
26:55Funny you mention dead.
26:58Because Lisa said that sleeping with you was like going to bed.
27:05With a corpse.
27:13Happy Christmas, Ducky.
27:25Oh.
27:27Oh.
27:29Oh, now that is what I call a beautiful set of conflicts, aren't they?
27:33Look.
27:34Aren't you lucky?
27:35You.
27:36Yeah.
27:37Oh, was it a good service, Billy?
27:39It was.
27:40It was lovely.
27:41Was it all Christmasy?
27:42It was.
27:43It was.
27:44We had carols around the crib and mince pies afterwards.
27:46Oh, mince pies.
27:47You should have gone, George.
27:49Oh.
27:50Was there, erm, mulled wine?
27:53It's a family service, love.
27:54Not happy hour at the legs of man.
27:57You all right over there, Theo?
27:58Mm.
27:59Oh, sorry.
28:00Oh.
28:01Oh.
28:02Are we out staying our welcome?
28:03Oh, no, no, no, no.
28:04Oh, wait.
28:05Tell us.
28:06Well, no, you can tell me.
28:07I mean, I'm very hard to offend.
28:09Unless it's racism, I do take offence at that.
28:13No, no, honestly, of course not, you're fine.
28:14You've got a worse actor than she is.
28:16LAUGHTER
28:19Actually, that's bullying, that.
28:21I'm going to touch my union.
28:22National Union of Brazen Barmates.
28:24Oh, Tom.
28:26Speaking of which, shall we, erm...
28:28Shall we adjourn to the Rovers?
28:30Yes.
28:31Oh, no, no, no.
28:32Don't leave on my account.
28:33Although, I think old Torrington's ready for a lie down, isn't ya?
28:35Yeah, you are looking a bit quiet over there, mate.
28:37I think he's had one of the eight.
28:38I'm fine.
28:39Well, that's what they all say.
28:41I'll tell you what, Billy, he'll miss you.
28:43Found out today he's got a thing for old priests.
28:45I have to get myself a dog collar.
28:47Joe, what's under your catter?
28:49LAUGHTER
28:50All right, well, erm...
28:52Yeah, well...
28:53Nice to see you both.
28:55Briefly.
28:56Come here.
28:57Yeah, sorry about that.
29:00You get your bag and I'll get your coat.
29:02Come here.
29:03Merry Christmas.
29:04Thanks ever so much.
29:08Bye, love.
29:09Bye, Summer.
29:10Yeah, get that then.
29:11All right.
29:12Bye.
29:13Bye.
29:14You know full well when we were going through a rough patch.
29:16And you know full well why we were.
29:18Don't put that on me.
29:19So this abortion's on me, is it?
29:21The only thing that I regret about that termination is not telling you.
29:25But babe, how could I?
29:26How could I bring the baby into that?
29:28You weren't even taking my calls.
29:29You were living back with the dragon.
29:31Don't call her that.
29:32And whenever we did talk to each other, we were just taking shots.
29:35And yet you still got pregnant by me.
29:38Allegedly.
29:40Don't you dare.
29:42Sorry.
29:44I was in no fit state to bring a baby and Susie up on my own.
29:48Now if I'd have thought for one second that we were going to get back together, I would have told you.
29:53So where does Adam fit into all of this?
29:55He doesn't.
29:56Not really.
29:57Except the fact that he was a supportive friend.
29:59He was meeting a client in Hull.
30:01I bumped into him at the Paragon interchange.
30:03He was getting the train, I was getting the bus.
30:05Kismet.
30:06Just to let you know, your pub is open.
30:11Oh.
30:12Oh, it's my pub when it suits you.
30:14Well, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt you to put a shift in Maggie.
30:17Get your hands as dirty as your tongue.
30:19Are you going to let her speak to me like that?
30:25Very exciting to be summoned here like this.
30:28It's very nice.
30:29Quite palatial.
30:31Mind you, you must be earning a bob or two now, aren't you?
30:34So you've actually spoken to Carla?
30:38Not me, Betts.
30:40Oh.
30:41So, er, how is she?
30:44What does she say?
30:45Erm, she said she was at a hotel.
30:47I can't believe Betts actually spoke to her.
30:49It's reassuring though.
30:51Is it?
30:52I want to be.
30:53Well, doesn't it just confirm what you've been worrying about all along?
30:58That she's ignoring you blatantly?
31:01See?
31:02I'll make a very good barrister, I will, because I've got a very incisive mind.
31:07And also, I'll look great in the wig and the...
31:10Oh, I see.
31:12My glass appears to be almost entirely empty.
31:16Double.
31:17Hmm.
31:18It's warm though, isn't it, in here?
31:19It's probably evaporating.
31:20Hi.
31:23Hi, Bonnie.
31:24I'm home.
31:25Oh.
31:26We have company.
31:27Merry Christmas, stranger.
31:29Is that the sister?
31:31Hello.
31:32This is Roy's friend, Evelyn.
31:34Hi.
31:35I'm Kim.
31:36Hi.
31:37I spoke to Carla.
31:38Brilliant, finally.
31:39Er, how was she?
31:41It's hard to tell, really.
31:43Erm, what are you doing?
31:45I'm ringing her.
31:47Oh, please.
31:48What?
31:49Like she's going to answer?
31:53Don't you think you should just face facts, love?
31:56And what's that?
31:58You know, maybe.
32:01Maybe?
32:02Maybe.
32:03Maybe.
32:04She's just not cut out to be a lesbian.
32:07No, a lot of people aren't.
32:10No, I wasn't.
32:14Sorry to send you on a wild goose chase.
32:16I honestly thought my charger was in the car.
32:18Forget my old head if it wasn't screwed on.
32:20So, what have you been up to then while me and Kev have been pretending to ploughby families?
32:24Oh, just...
32:26Watching paint dry.
32:28Hmm.
32:29Well, sounds like me and you have had very similar days.
32:32Shall we, erm...
32:34Shall we make up for it now?
32:37What exactly were you thinking of?
32:39Well, come to the bedroom and I'll show you.
32:48What's that aftershave you're wearing? It smells different.
32:51Must be that old shower gel I used earlier.
32:53What's this?
32:56It's nice, isn't it?
32:58I found it there on the side of the couch.
33:00Must be the previous tenants.
33:04Now, where were we?
33:06En route to the bedroom.
33:08On a one-way ticket to paradise.
33:10I often wonder if you're a statue.
33:20Because you've got one hell of a brass neck on you.
33:23That secret Santa stunt was evil.
33:26I am a grandchild down because of you.
33:29Are you not going to defend me here, Ben?
33:31Why should I?
33:33She's right, it was evil.
33:35I'm not bothered.
33:38Put that drink down, Ma.
33:41And get her to my house now.
33:43I beg your pardon.
33:44I want you gone.
33:45Are you going to side with that little tart over me?
33:51Right first time.
33:52This poor beautiful face.
34:09What do you need him?
34:11It wasn't me.
34:12When a man gets hit like that.
34:14Usually over a woman, you know.
34:16Maybe someone's got the hots for Elia.
34:19Who doesn't have the hots for Elia?
34:23Did I just say that out loud?
34:24Yes, George.
34:26Keep it down.
34:27People might think we're swingers.
34:28Oh, like these two?
34:30Behave yourself Mary's if we're swingers.
34:32I'll know what you're doing later.
34:36Gonna have a nice shiner, thanks to you.
34:38You had no right.
34:39Oh, shut up.
34:40No, he's right.
34:43Adam, I'm sorry.
34:45I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.
34:46I've just spoken with the weaver.
34:47She's explained everything.
34:51Accept my apology.
34:55Well, this won't be a Christmas that we forget any time, see?
34:58You've got a lot to save yourself.
35:00Eh?
35:01Sorry.
35:03And Elia, you've got to believe Adam.
35:05None of it's true.
35:06Oh, I never believed a word.
35:07But you want to have a word with your mother.
35:09Is she calmed down?
35:12She's packing her bags.
35:14Vast relief.
35:15What?
35:16Any sign of Megan?
35:18She's gone home.
35:19She don't feel well.
35:21She wanted me to tell you, but whoops.
35:23I forgot.
35:24All right.
35:25All right.
35:28Listen.
35:29I know that you've got the hots for your teacher, you little git.
35:32But how about you leave her for the grown-ups, eh?
35:34There's a good life.
35:35Right.
35:36Thanks very much for a memorable day.
35:39Shall we go next door?
35:44Hey.
35:45I always wondered why you were so weird.
35:47But now that I've seen what your granny's capable of,
35:49it's all slipping into place.
35:51David!
35:52David!
35:53David!
35:54Where have you been?
35:55Uh, Manners, Will.
35:56Been helping Lauren with Frankie so she could work.
35:58Daniel's already gone.
35:59He said to say to her and that.
36:00Uh, you need to be careful.
36:01Do I?
36:02Yes, Will.
36:03You do.
36:04You were so vile to Daniel today.
36:05Oh, classic.
36:06I defend him, why don't you?
36:07You're gonna give the game away at this one?
36:08No.
36:09No.
36:10No.
36:11No.
36:12No.
36:13No.
36:14No.
36:15No.
36:16No.
36:17No.
36:18No.
36:19No.
36:20No.
36:21No.
36:22No.
36:23No.
36:24No.
36:25No.
36:26No.
36:27No.
36:28No.
36:29No.
36:30No.
36:31Can we give the game away at this rate?
36:32The state of him?
36:33No.
36:34He had his hand over my woman.
36:36You're drunk.
36:38What's he gonna be like on your little weekend away?
36:42Jew'n know what.
36:45I can't be doing with you when you're like this.
36:54Weird.
36:55I'm sorry.
36:56What is that?
36:57It's a stimulator.
36:58whose own mother has got you wed
37:00It's a vagus nerve stimulator.
37:02But, David, it's not in front of Lily.
37:04No, no, it's totally sleep. Shut up!
37:06No, that's what it is. It's an actual sleep aid.
37:08What? Granny Gail's texted. She said she's sent us all a video.
37:11Oh, get it up, get it up.
37:12She'll be in our way for Andy's hair and uncle.
37:14Well, she's put it on plot chart, hasn't she?
37:16She can see it on there.
37:17Aw, I can't believe she's sent a video.
37:19It's me.
37:21I speak to you today on what is, of course,
37:26our first wedding anniversary.
37:29One of the longest marriages, this.
37:31Thank you, David, for my extra-large jar of olives.
37:37Very funny.
37:39I hope you've all been having the most wonderful day.
37:44And, of course, David, happy birthday.
37:50How can it be 35 years since I first held you in my arms?
37:57I hope by now you've unwrapped your sleep aid.
38:03I just wanted to say that though I may be far away, you're all very much in my thoughts.
38:14And David and Shona, you and your baby are utmost in my heart.
38:24Life is never easy.
38:28Life is never straightforward.
38:31But we're a strong, resilient family.
38:38And we can weather any storm.
38:40I love you all very much.
38:45So, till the next time we speak, as the famous carol says,
38:55The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.
39:10I wish you all a very happy Christmas.
39:15I just wanted to say thank you.
39:29What for?
39:32I love you for it.
39:34And just being so nice and patient today.
39:40That's our first Christmas, innit?
39:43Wanting to be special.
39:46In that case, thank you too.
39:49For what?
39:50For being you.
39:53Your authentic self.
39:56Can't be easy.
39:57You know, with your various issues.
40:02I'm...
40:03Unless you were being sarcastic.
40:05I wasn't.
40:09Stand up.
40:12You sure you weren't being sarcastic?
40:14Yeah.
40:21You sure?
40:26Merry Christmas, daughter.
40:27Merry Christmas, daughter.
40:29Neil.
40:30Yeah.
40:33and every mother's child is not a spy
40:47isn't that some ojimaflip Maggie from the pub
41:00correct introduce me I've never met her and you know if we pal up I'm thinking free drinks
41:05hello oh I say what a beautiful coat I love that colour
41:12Merry Christmas Maggie I don't know if you met my dear friend Evelyn Plummer
41:19Merry Christmas to you and may 2026 bring you everything you wish yourself and more
41:25are you off traveling oh are you all right Maggie no any idiot can see she's not all right she's in
41:33pieces oh let's just say I've fallen out with Ben oh dear who's Ben my son well maybe it's just bad
41:46karma you know because you shut the pub on Christmas Day we were having a family meal but
41:52everything went awry well if there's anything I I could do do you know any decent hotels around here
42:02well I could drive you over to Chariot Square if you like good thinking Batman and
42:11could you call ahead when we're on route my phone is running out of juice
42:16just tell them one night one person with breakfast and try and get a free upgrade to a suite
42:23um I'm rather sorry we came over in the first place
42:30and relax
42:36my lady
42:43my good sir
42:46I'm sorry
42:50isn't that my line
42:52I should have been there for you
42:54we got there eventually didn't we
42:57I'll never let you down again
43:00I'll never let you down
43:03thank you
43:10yeah
43:11I'll turn my face away
43:16undreamed about you
43:20God I'm a lucky one
43:25Come and let's get into one
43:29I've got enough
43:55I've got enough
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