- 13 minutes ago
Two Doors Down - Season 7 Episode 100 -
(special) 2025 Christmas Special
(special) 2025 Christmas Special
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00:01Listen, I'm just thinking...
00:03Shall we get the Christmas tree down while I'm up here?
00:06Yes, all right. I suppose we could.
00:08Right, I'll pass it down to you. Ready?
00:10Give me a minute!
00:15Just wash yourself with it.
00:17Yes, all right, Eric. I'm not totally useless.
00:27Are they OK?
00:28Yep, all fine.
00:30Mm-mm.
00:31Mm-mm.
00:33Mm-mm.
00:34Mm-mm.
00:35Mm-mm.
00:37Oh-oh-oh!
00:39Oh-oh-oh!
00:41Oh-oh-oh-oh!
00:42Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
00:47Do you not think it's a bit early to put it up?
00:49I mean, it's not even December yet.
00:50It's fine. Who's got to notice?
00:52Christine!
00:59That's me definitely going.
01:00Going where?
01:01To Ireland.
01:03For God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you?
01:06Of course I do.
01:08We're in the middle of a big clear art and I'm just a wee bit busy.
01:10Right, OK.
01:11I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements,
01:14but I cannot stay long.
01:17Right.
01:20You putting your Christmas tree up?
01:23It's a bit early, is it, no?
01:26Yes, well, we were up in my loft anyway,
01:28so we just thought we might as well.
01:30You see, I always follow what the church does
01:34and they put it up 12 days before.
01:36No, you're thinking a 12th night.
01:38That's when you take it down.
01:40Yes, a church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December.
01:44Do they?
01:45Well, that's awful early.
01:47I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggerty about that.
01:51I don't think it was ever up that early on Father Kowalski's day,
01:54but he really was a religious man.
01:58Where is it he is now?
01:59Be in Kew in its hill.
02:02But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year,
02:05what with me not being here.
02:06What's this?
02:07I'm going to visit my cousin Devlet in Ireland for Christmas, Eric.
02:11Oh, it's fantastic, Christine.
02:13It's so nice that they made contact with you.
02:15Oh, I know, Beth.
02:17And to think, if Devlet hadn't sent that saliva sample off to Ancestry.com,
02:23we might never have known that we were related.
02:27Imagine if she'd had a dry mouth that day.
02:31Whereabouts are they?
02:32County Galway, Eric.
02:34Oh.
02:34I've got the train to Stronra, a ferry to Larn, a bus into Belfast,
02:40and then coach down to Galway.
02:42Oh, bet you'd track that.
02:44So, will it be Derval's whole family?
02:46Oh, yes.
02:47Her husband, Owen, now he's got his own plumbing business,
02:51so I will be looking forward to her bath.
02:54That's definitely on the list.
02:55And then there's our twin girls, Maeve and Aoife.
02:59Oh.
03:00Be nice to meet them.
03:02Cos they're actually my...
03:03What is it?
03:04My first cousins?
03:06No, no, no.
03:06Second.
03:08Oh, aye.
03:09I'm forgetting they're twins.
03:11Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure.
03:14Oh, I hope so, Eric.
03:16I must say I'm looking forward to it.
03:18Although it will be strange not being at home on Christmas Day.
03:22I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth,
03:27so I do feel a bit guilty that I might be letting you down.
03:31Are you sure you're OK with me going?
03:34You're all right.
03:34You'll be fine.
03:35Well, I think it's time we get down to discussing what bag I'm taking, eh?
03:39Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
03:41Oh, who's this interrupting us?
03:49I don't know what...
03:49That's no you get your Christmas tree up already, is it, Beth?
03:54Beth?
03:54Well, I...
03:55It's a bit early, is it, no?
03:57Well, we were up in the loft.
03:58Do you know, just let her do it, Col.
04:00We'll brighten up that dingy front room.
04:02I suppose so.
04:04It's OK, Beth, that's fine.
04:05If it gives you something to look forward to, that's OK.
04:08Should we go in and see it?
04:09Oh.
04:10She'll be put out if we don't.
04:11Do you know what she's like?
04:12Right.
04:13We'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth.
04:15Apparently, the cooked breakfasts on board the Stenna line are excellent, eh?
04:25Irene up the high flats told me they serve a black pudding that is technically illegal on dry land.
04:33Ah, here he is.
04:34We elf here helping you put your tree up, Beth.
04:37He's far too big for an elf, Col.
04:40And there's Christine.
04:42How you doing?
04:43Oh, not bad, Colin.
04:45That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas.
04:48You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you?
04:51Oh, yes.
04:51I'm staying with my cousin Dervla in Galway.
04:55Oh, that's nice.
04:56You're not going to be here, Christine.
04:58You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh?
05:01Remember, we went to the Guinness factory when we were in Dublin, Kath.
05:04Oh, God, that place.
05:05Oh, I will not be going back there.
05:07Oh, why not?
05:08Only serve as fucking Guinness.
05:10So, is this you getting all set for Christmas, then?
05:13What's the plans?
05:14Oh, well, nothing special.
05:16It's just the two of us, so just, you know, traditional.
05:20Traditional?
05:21Well, you've not made a very good start putting your tree up this fucking early.
05:25And what about you two?
05:26Do you know what you're doing?
05:27We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day,
05:30because we quite like it, don't we?
05:32It's really festive how they decorate it all.
05:34And you get steak instead of turkey,
05:37a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding,
05:39and there's a massive smoking section out by the nativity.
05:42The problem we've got is we don't know what presents to get.
05:45Well, I'm fine just with money.
05:48No, I mean, for each other.
05:51Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric.
05:52See, we've already got everything, haven't we?
05:55Oh, poor you, right enough.
05:57I always get calling pants for Christmas,
05:58but I can't get any more in the drawer.
06:00No.
06:01And you can't exactly take the old ones to the charity shop, can you?
06:04No, they don't take them.
06:06Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't.
06:08Though Irene did tell me about a website
06:11where there seems to be quite a lot of interest.
06:15We were just going up to the charity shop
06:18once we'd finished the tree.
06:19Are you getting yourself something, Beth?
06:21Well, it is finished, really,
06:22apart from turning on the lights.
06:24OK, then, let's see the big switch on.
06:27Come on, Eric, I'll puff your fat arse.
06:32Here, Beth, this reminds me of that time
06:35we saw Marty Peller switch on the lights in Clyde Bank.
06:38Do you remember that, Beth?
06:39I do.
06:40I'm not actually sure whether he was on the heroin at that point,
06:43cos we were quite far back, you know?
06:46Right, we all ready?
06:47Aye.
06:48Yeah.
06:48Come on, Eric!
06:53Well, you know, you can always stop by the dump as well.
06:57Don't know how much longer I'm going to manage
07:08getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
07:10You're right to start getting in the back?
07:12No, I mean, you might not get a card
07:14or get on my insurance or something.
07:16Aye, no, no.
07:17I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
07:20You may be trapped to jump too soon.
07:21Look!
07:27Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
07:29Think we should go over and say a wee quick hello and see it?
07:34Nah.
07:36We've got a nice picture of us
07:37in front of the Oscar Wilde statue in Dublin, haven't we?
07:40Aye.
07:41Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his
07:43is when he was going through customs in America
07:45and he said,
07:47I have nothing to declare but my genius.
07:52Well, I prefer the statue of Morley Malone.
07:55You go up, rubber tits brings you luck.
07:57Oh, for God's sake.
07:59It did as well.
08:00We went to Temple Bar after that.
08:02We didn't get hassled by one beggar.
08:07I'll go.
08:13Oh, hello, you two.
08:14Or should that be two and a half?
08:17She's some size new in Cherwick.
08:20Train to Stranraer,
08:22ferry to Larn,
08:23bus to Belfast,
08:24coach to Galway.
08:25My God, I need a flight to Switzerland after that.
08:29That's a proper Irish road trip, that.
08:31It is, Colin.
08:32But, you know,
08:33I now feel I've got a really deep connection to Ireland
08:37now that I know for sure
08:38that I've got Irish blood in me.
08:41If you're going to Galway,
08:42would you not be a better friend to Shannon?
08:43Where's that?
08:46Oh, hi, Michelle.
08:48Hi, Alan.
08:49Hi.
08:50Hello, everyone.
08:51Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth.
08:54Don't worry about that.
08:55No one else does.
08:56How are you, Michelle?
08:58Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
09:00Just so tired all the time.
09:02Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered.
09:05Come and sit down, Michelle.
09:07Come on.
09:07Yeah, there we go.
09:10Sit down, yeah.
09:11Who's you, Alan, eh?
09:13Everything all right?
09:14Aye, all right.
09:16Just back for the garage with the van.
09:17Oh, no.
09:18Something wrong with it?
09:19Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric.
09:21Oh, my God.
09:22What happened?
09:23Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan?
09:26No, I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel,
09:28and it was a wee jam,
09:29so I had to slow right down.
09:31Next thing I know,
09:32somebody's ran into the back of me.
09:34Oh, and they'd be on their phone, no doubt.
09:37Aye, and see the full seat?
09:38Mine's flew right out of my hand under the seat.
09:41They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they?
09:43Yeah.
09:44Alan was late picking me up from my antenatal class.
09:46Oh, no.
09:47That's fine, Beth.
09:48You can't see the dent at all.
09:52So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
09:53How is Ian?
09:54Oh, he's fine, aye.
09:56He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff
09:58before we junk it.
09:59Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric?
10:02Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
10:04Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that.
10:06I remember she used to have them in a lot of brown, Michelle.
10:10Eric, it's fine.
10:12I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually.
10:14You know, the wee baby grows and the jammies
10:17and the wee onesies.
10:19They're just all so cute, aren't they?
10:21Oh, they are, Michelle.
10:23Well, until they soil them.
10:25Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle?
10:28No, because we still can't seem to agree on anything, can we?
10:32But, if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis.
10:36Good Scottish name, that.
10:39I don't think it says a bit like Lewis, though, Eric.
10:42Honey, you're definitely sure you don't want to find out
10:45what you're having, Michelle?
10:47I mean, that would make it a bit easier.
10:50No, I just don't want to know.
10:52No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle.
10:56Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something?
10:58I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth.
11:01What about the rest of us, Beth?
11:03I hear.
11:04Have you got any mince pies?
11:06A wee cup of tea and a mince pie, I believe.
11:09Well, the thing is...
11:10Why?
11:10A tea and a mince pie?
11:11I wouldn't say no.
11:12What's the season?
11:13I fucking hate mince pies.
11:15Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth?
11:17Well, I'd take one of them, though.
11:19No, you see...
11:20You know, I love the ones with all the cream on the top.
11:22Oh, have you tried them?
11:23Oh, I like the sound of them.
11:25Can you get any of them, Beth?
11:26I haven't got any mince pies.
11:29Aw.
11:31You cannae invite us all in here,
11:33saying it's the start of Christmas
11:35and know of any Christmas stuff in for us.
11:37We didn't do that.
11:39You've got your tree up, Eric.
11:40You know, that sends a message.
11:42It's like the swingers with the pampas grass.
11:44Yes, Eric, shut your face.
11:47Is that really a thing, not the pampas grass?
11:49I thought it was just, like, one of those things folks say.
11:51Oh, no, no, no, no.
11:52There's a couple round the Newbolds that had it
11:54and they were very, very active.
11:57Apparently.
11:58Beth, don't worry about the water, actually.
12:00I'm fine.
12:01Aye, and it makes the baby kick,
12:02then she goes on about it.
12:04Don't be daft.
12:05Of course I'll get you a glass of water
12:06and I'm happy to do teas and coffees
12:09for anyone who's wanting.
12:10I just don't have any mince pies.
12:12I mean, we were just clearing out the loft,
12:17not declaring that it was officially Christmas.
12:20I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that,
12:22but I'm afraid I don't.
12:23OK?
12:28Beth, you don't even have a wee tub of celebrations
12:32or nothing, no?
12:33A bit early with the tree, are you not?
12:51What, is it just feeling Christmassy?
12:53I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest.
12:55Quality Street is what I used to get
13:01when it was just Sophie and me, you know?
13:04Oh, the green ones were my favourite.
13:07I used to love them.
13:08No, I'm not a bit Sophie.
13:09What ones were hers?
13:10Oh, the other ones.
13:13All right.
13:14Not like you to have a house full.
13:16Aye, son.
13:16How are you, Ian?
13:17How are you, Dad?
13:18How are you, Colin?
13:18How are you, Kathy?
13:19How are you doing, Ian?
13:20Oh, I'm fine.
13:21How are you guys?
13:22Everything OK?
13:23Yeah, I'm OK.
13:23Not really, Ian.
13:24Somebody went out at the back of my van.
13:26Oh, no.
13:27Oh, no.
13:28I'll just get it back today.
13:29You weren't in it at the time, were you?
13:30No.
13:31Oh, well, could have been worse.
13:32Oh, you're saying that,
13:33but that was two full days it was after a road.
13:38Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
13:39How's Gordon?
13:40Aye, he's good.
13:41He's coming over here to meet me after college.
13:43Oh, is he still enjoying it?
13:44Oh, aye, he's loving it.
13:46I'm not loving being the only one earning, no?
13:47No.
13:48And you're being a very poor wage as I is, Ian.
13:52What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian?
13:54Oh, basically, he just wasn't happy.
13:57Oh, you see, this is the new thing, isn't it?
14:00You don't like something, you just stop doing it.
14:04Never used to be like that.
14:05No, you just kept going.
14:07That was your lot.
14:08You just had to accept it.
14:10Like you with Eric, Beth.
14:12Right.
14:12Listen, you want to look through this stuff from the loft
14:15before we throw it out?
14:16All right, now.
14:17Oh.
14:17OK, where is it?
14:19I'll go and get it.
14:19So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas, then?
14:24Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest.
14:26We did invite them, but they said no.
14:28Oh, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays.
14:31Sort of taking over everything at the minute.
14:33What's it on?
14:34That's the thing.
14:34He can't make up his mind.
14:36Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian?
14:39We get rid of a lot of other stuff,
14:41but we weren't sure whether he'd want to keep any of this.
14:44God, my old laptop.
14:49I remember the year you got me this.
14:51I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it.
14:54Oh, that is a nice store, that.
14:57Me and Pat went there to get Sophie our Game Boy.
15:01That was a big present that year.
15:03Did you get her one?
15:04No, they were sold out.
15:05So I just got her a lady shave instead.
15:08And if I remember right, I think Pat got some Hoover bags.
15:12God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it.
15:15Then straight upstairs and on to the porn, eh, Ian?
15:19Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
15:22We didn't want to just throw it out.
15:24No, no, no.
15:25Listen, he could have some good stuff in it, Eric.
15:27Look, I'll take this, but you can get rid of this.
15:29Oh, are you sure?
15:31That hat and scarf set was a present as well,
15:33and I don't think you've ever worn them.
15:35Ian.
15:37He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle.
15:41Well, I remember I gave him a banana once,
15:44and he just threw it behind the hut.
15:47You'll need to get your mum something decent for that this year, Ian,
15:50to make up for that.
15:52Just get her a bottle of rosé, Ian.
15:54That's what we do.
15:55She always seems genuinely quite happy.
15:59Sorry, Mum.
16:00I'll take those as well.
16:01Oh, well, if you're sure.
16:03And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will.
16:05Yeah.
16:05He's got no fashion sense at all, Ian.
16:08I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age.
16:13I mean, is he not too old?
16:15He's a mature student.
16:16Yeah, exactly.
16:18He's a mature student.
16:19Hello.
16:27How's it going?
16:29Are we going just now, or am I coming in?
16:31No, I'm coming in, aren't I?
16:32Righto.
16:34I get the train to Stranraer,
16:37ferry to Larne,
16:38bus to Belfast,
16:39coach down to Galway.
16:41That's a hurrier trip, that.
16:42Alan.
16:43It's a fair way, Alan,
16:45but when it is family,
16:47it is worth all the effort.
16:49Quite right.
16:50And, you know,
16:50you'll be like Santa coming down from the North Pole
16:52with your big sack of Christmas presents.
16:55I'll no need to buy them all presents, will I?
17:00Hi, Gordon.
17:01Oh, hiya, Gordon.
17:02Hi.
17:03Gordon, what's that you've got on your head?
17:05Oh, it's my helmet.
17:06I came on my scooter.
17:08You came here by scooter?
17:10Yeah.
17:11It'll be one of those e-scooters.
17:13What do you fancy one myself?
17:15Is that an e-scooter you've got, Gordon?
17:17No, it's just a regular one.
17:21Gordon, come here a minute.
17:23Come here.
17:28That's you.
17:29It was, er,
17:31sticking up a bit.
17:33So how's your course going, Gordon?
17:36Yeah, good.
17:37Yeah.
17:37What is it you're studying again?
17:39Sociology and literature.
17:40All right.
17:41You're no bother about getting a job after.
17:43Are you?
17:45Ian says you've got an assignment to do.
17:47Oh, yeah.
17:48I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet.
17:50It's meant to be something on cultural change,
17:52but it's such a big subject.
17:54Oh, God, yeah.
17:55What about Emmerdale going on to YouTube?
17:58I don't think that's the sort of thing
18:00Gordon's studying on his course, Christine.
18:03So it's literature you're doing, is it?
18:06Tell you a good book.
18:08What's that one I read on holiday?
18:09Oh, fuck that.
18:11You wouldn't put that down.
18:12He was reading it in bed.
18:13I know.
18:13I got right into it.
18:14So I did.
18:15I know what it was.
18:15It was Duncan Bannatine's autobiography.
18:18You read that, Gordon?
18:20Er, no.
18:21What about Maeve Benchy?
18:22You read any hers?
18:24All set in Ireland.
18:25They'll not be doing Maeve Benchy books
18:27in the literature course.
18:28I know it.
18:29There's fucking tons of them.
18:32I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Bed.
18:35Well, it's awful early, is it not, Gordon?
18:38You've not got yours up, have you?
18:40Well, no.
18:41It's also shit.
18:43Look at the state of it.
18:45It'll look great when you've got
18:46the rest of the decorations up.
18:49You're not seeing this, is it, are you?
18:51Well, we were having a clear out
18:53and there was decorations there
18:54that we'd had for years.
18:55They were a bit tatty.
18:58Erm, if you throw out everything tatty,
19:00you're not going to have anything left.
19:02Aw, Beth, we've got absolutely loads
19:04of Christmas decorations
19:05if you want some, haven't we, Alan?
19:06Aye, she can't go past them
19:08in the short without buying them.
19:10It's the same with toilet rolls.
19:11We've got hundreds of them.
19:13Nah, no, that's very kind, Michelle.
19:15Look, we've got piles of old ones as well.
19:18Aye, you could always have mine, Beth,
19:19since I'm going to be in Ireland.
19:22Alan, are we going to get some
19:23for Beth and Eric?
19:24Michelle, no, we...
19:25Oh, honestly, Eric, it's fine.
19:27We've got way more
19:28than we've got room to put up, so...
19:29Come on, Eric,
19:30it's fucking miserable in here.
19:38Are we ready?
19:39Yes, come on.
19:40OK.
19:43Aw!
19:44Aw!
19:45Aw!
19:46Aw!
19:48That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it?
19:50Well, not till we get a bottle open.
19:53What about you boys?
19:56Well, shh!
19:57I won't tell anyone
19:58you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
20:00Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em!
20:04Yeah, I'll take one,
20:05if that's OK with you, Michelle.
20:06Oh, yeah, you guys go ahead.
20:08I'll just stick to my water.
20:10Did you not realise
20:11that being pregnant
20:11was going to be really boring, Michelle?
20:15Is it OK if I have a lager?
20:16Of course it is, Alan.
20:18Are you just saying that now
20:19and you'll give me a row later?
20:21Or do you really mean it?
20:23I think I've got a bottle of fizz
20:25in the fridge.
20:26Woo!
20:27You know when I think
20:28it feels like Christmas is coming?
20:30When you hear the Christmas songs
20:31on the radio.
20:32Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
20:34Hey, Eric,
20:35have you got that Christmas album?
20:37I think I do.
20:38As long as you haven't even thrown it out.
20:40Yes, Eric,
20:41you big stupid donkey.
20:43So when is it
20:44you're off to Ireland, Christine?
20:45Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
20:49Oh, God,
20:50it's just so exciting.
20:51You're going to have
20:51such a brilliant time.
20:53We loved Dublin, didn't we?
20:54We were saying earlier, Alan,
20:56that the Guinness that you get
20:57in the Guinness factory
20:58isn't like anywhere else.
21:00Aye, it's 20 fucking euro.
21:04Aww!
21:06Hey!
21:08Oh!
21:10Right, everyone want one?
21:14Sorry, Michelle.
21:16Oh, Beth, don't worry.
21:18I'm fine.
21:18I like my water.
21:20It's all right, Michelle.
21:20You can get pissed again
21:21once the baby's here.
21:23Well, this is a bit more like it, eh?
21:25Cheers, everybody.
21:26Cheers.
21:26Aye, cheers.
21:27Cheers.
21:29Here, Beth,
21:31could you go and get me
21:32that wee glass I like?
21:34I don't like the way
21:35this one feels in my hand.
21:37Oh.
21:41Here.
21:42I hope you won't be so fussed
21:43over on Ireland, Christine.
21:44They'll send you back.
21:48Dad,
21:49stick it on to the next song.
21:51I can't be bothered
21:51but this one goes on for ages.
21:56Oh, no, no, no, Cole.
21:57No, no, no, I hate this one.
21:58Get it off.
21:59She hates this.
22:00Why do you not like it, Cathy?
22:01I don't like the sound
22:02of children singing, Gordon.
22:06Now this,
22:07this is a classic.
22:09Oh, does this one
22:10not do your head in?
22:11Would you not like it, Alan?
22:12Oh, it's all right,
22:13but you hear it everywhere you go,
22:14don't you?
22:15It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
22:19I'll tell you what
22:19you hear everywhere.
22:21Band-aid.
22:22Oh, it was amazing
22:23what they did with that.
22:25Yes.
22:25Mm-hmm.
22:26Although,
22:27there is a bit of a backlash
22:28against it now.
22:30Against my head?
22:31Is it because Bono's a wank?
22:33Well, then.
22:34It is, but...
22:35It's just,
22:35they think it maybe
22:36did more harm than good
22:37because it made people feel
22:39they'd solved the problem
22:40of global inequality
22:41when, in actual fact,
22:42it's worsened
22:43with the impact of climate change.
22:45Plus, there's the whole
22:46white saviour thing
22:47which is quite toxic as well.
22:49I didn't realise
22:53it was so controversial.
22:54Well, it's an interesting debate.
22:56I personally think that the...
22:58This is the best one ever.
23:02Oh, I do like this.
23:03What is it?
23:04The Polk's.
23:05Shane McGowan.
23:07Always pissed.
23:08Oh, him, yes.
23:09There's a couple of names
23:10for you, Michelle.
23:11What?
23:12Well, Shane for a boy
23:13or Kirsty for a girl.
23:14Oh, a good Irish name,
23:16that, Michelle.
23:17Shane.
23:18Actually, I quite like those.
23:21Aye.
23:23Wee Shane Edgar.
23:24Sounds good, doesn't it?
23:25Poor Kirsty.
23:26Aye, that's all right enough.
23:29Here, Christine.
23:30This is the one
23:31where the choir's singing
23:32Galway Bay.
23:33That's where you'll be
23:34at Christmas.
23:35Oh, here, so it is.
23:37Christine,
23:38it's just going to feel
23:39really weird
23:40you being away
23:40at your cousin's
23:41for Christmas.
23:44Beth.
23:48Do you think it's
23:52going to be okay?
23:53What do you mean?
23:54Me going to deathless,
23:56but it's...
23:57Well, it's just I know
23:58that sometimes
23:59I can be
24:01a wee bit demanding.
24:03Oh, Christine.
24:04What if they end up
24:05wishing they'd ever
24:06made contact with me
24:07and kind of wait
24:08to see the back of me?
24:09You're going to have
24:10a wonderful time.
24:12Christmas is for families
24:13and they're your family.
24:15They're going to be
24:16thrilled you're there.
24:17Do you think so?
24:18Yes.
24:23Here, Beth.
24:24You know how I'm getting
24:26the train to Stranra
24:27and then getting the ferry?
24:28Yes.
24:29Train to Stranra,
24:31ferry to Larne,
24:32bus to Belfast
24:33and coach to Galway.
24:35You okay to give me
24:36a lift into the station?
24:37Yes.
24:40You okay there, Gordon?
24:41Any problem with this song?
24:43Well, it depends
24:44which version it is.
24:45What?
24:46Well, there's a word
24:48in the song
24:48that's quite offensive, so...
24:50What word?
24:51Well, I don't really
24:52want to say it.
24:53I think I know what it is.
24:54What is it, Beth?
24:55Is it scumbag?
24:56What is wrong with scumbag?
24:57It rhymes with maggot.
24:59It rhymes with maggot.
25:01Maybe just forward it
25:02on to the next one.
25:03What rhymes with maggot?
25:05I know.
25:05I know!
25:06What is it?
25:08It begins with an F, Christine.
25:11Fuck with it.
25:12Look, maybe just
25:13put it off, Dad.
25:15What is it?
25:20What's wrong with that?
25:21It's quite offensive,
25:23especially to gay people.
25:24I thought it was Poofter
25:26was the one
25:26that he's done to like.
25:28Oh, it's getting to the point
25:29you cannae say anything
25:30without offending someone.
25:32Oh, here we go.
25:33Well, it's ridiculous.
25:34I mean, you cannae even have
25:35a bit of homophobic swearing
25:37in a Christmas song anymore.
25:40I think it's more
25:41we're just becoming more aware
25:43of how the things we say
25:44impact on other people
25:46and a recognition
25:47that some terms
25:48that were once in common usage
25:49were, in fact,
25:50offensive, frankly.
25:52We should probably make a move.
25:54What other words
25:54can we not say, Gordon?
25:56Well, it's not up to me.
25:58What about Fanny?
26:00If someone was to call you
26:01a silly Fanny,
26:01would you be offended by that?
26:03Kathy.
26:04Well, I wouldn't really be offended,
26:06but, I mean,
26:06if we're going to get into it,
26:08I don't really think
26:08anyone should be using
26:09a female body part
26:10as an insult.
26:11Does that mean
26:12that you cannae say...
26:13Christy!
26:14What about Dick?
26:15Can you still call someone a Dick?
26:17That's less bad.
26:19Oh, thank God for that.
26:20I've seen that quite a while,
26:21don't I?
26:22I may as well.
26:23I know.
26:24Why is Dick
26:25not as bad, Gordon?
26:26Well, it's that men
26:28have historically been
26:29the dominant gender, so...
26:30What about wanker, Gordon?
26:32Because technically
26:33that's...
26:33that's either, isn't it?
26:35Arsehole.
26:36You know,
26:36we've all got one of those.
26:38And where would the gays
26:38be without them?
26:39Oh, I really think
26:42we should head.
26:43You know what I think, Gordon?
26:45What?
26:47I think you should do
26:49your assignment on
26:50all of this.
26:52Language and all of that.
26:53How it's changed.
26:54You really know
26:56what you're talking about.
26:57Well, I don't think that's...
26:59I can't really see
27:02how that would...
27:04Actually, that's a really
27:06good idea.
27:12Don't forget your hat and scarf.
27:14Ah, yeah.
27:16See about that.
27:17Do you mind if we don't
27:18do presents this year?
27:20Oh, right.
27:20Yeah, it's just
27:22we're a bit skint this year
27:23with me being at college.
27:25Is that why you're not
27:26coming over on Christmas Day?
27:30Kinda, yeah.
27:31Do not worry about presents,
27:33but come over for dinner.
27:35We'd love to have you.
27:38Right, OK.
27:40Cheers, Mum.
27:40Um, no hugs for me, Gordon.
27:54That's a nice kiss for you as well.
27:58Bye, Ian.
27:59Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon?
28:10Yeah.
28:10Ooh.
28:11I wonder if Cole would like
28:12one of those.
28:13Oh, my God, I could get him
28:14one for his Christmas.
28:15Cole!
28:16Cole!
28:17Come and get a look
28:18at Gordon's scooter.
28:20What's happening?
28:21I think Cole has got to
28:22have a go on Gordon's scooter.
28:25Oh, I'd quite like to see that.
28:27I haven't been in one of these
28:31for years.
28:32Go on, Cole.
28:34Whee!
28:36Woo!
28:40Whoa!
28:44Oh, I'm a fucking van!
28:46Oh, I'm a fucking van!
28:48The boys from the end line
28:50Peaty cars
28:51will soon go away
28:53and the bubbles
28:55are ringing out
28:56for Christmas Day!
29:03to be
29:21for Christmas Day!
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