- 2 days ago
The Last Leg - Season 33 Episode 11 -
The Last Leg of Christmas
The Last Leg of Christmas
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00:00Thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:02So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:04These simple lines be good for your health
00:06Keep them prime rhymes on the shelf
00:08Live my life like you just don't care
00:10My thighs are leaders never scared
00:12Ranging noise is the moment they fear
00:16Get up, you're still a beautiful idea
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:20Get up, you should know
00:22Get up, you should know
00:24Get up, get up, get up
00:26Get up, get up, get up
00:28Finish wrapping the presents, sit back on the couch
00:35Then realise you forgot to buy batteries
00:37It's Christmas Eve and it's time for the last leg
00:40Tonight on the show
00:43We look at a prediction of Christmas future
00:46Look back on Christmas past
00:48And take a sneaky look at our Christmas presents
00:51Plus we'll be joined by presenter Alison Hammond
00:54Comedian Harry Hill
00:55And music legend Rick Astley
00:57On the show that's always a Christmas diehard
01:01G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:10Welcome to The Last Leg
01:11The show that wonders if King Charles' speech
01:13Is going to get one less viewer this year
01:14With me as always of the pride of Huddersfield
01:17Alex Brooker and the man who turned on
01:19The Christmas lights in Exeter this year
01:21But only in his own house, Josh Whittacombe
01:23Happy Christmas Eve, everybody
01:31Every year we dress up, there's something ridiculous for Christmas
01:34I, of course, am Tom Hanks
01:36From the Polar Express
01:38There you go
01:39Thank you
01:41Thank you
01:42Yeah, it's not bad
01:43Yeah
01:43You're such a fan of the film that you've called the character Tom Hanks
01:47Oh
01:48You look like you're about to strip
01:52That is a different type of Polar Express
01:57I went with Polar Express
01:58I went with Polar Express because it's my favourite Tom Hanks film
02:03Yeah
02:04Actually, it's my second favourite but Philadelphia didn't feel appropriate
02:06Oh, Josh
02:08Merry Christmas
02:10Josh, would you like to explain who you're dressed as?
02:13Oh, I didn't get the memo, I didn't know it was fancy dress
02:15No, I've come as, I'll stand up for this
02:20I've come as Francis Rossi from the Band Aid video
02:24Amazing
02:26I'm not saying I've run out of ideas
02:30But I look like Michael Portillo
02:33I am
02:34You look like someone who's been caught at Heathrow trying to smuggle in illegal reptiles
02:44Well, I've certainly got a snake in these tight trousers
02:50Alex, do you want to explain what's going on there?
02:52Yeah, I'm Tim Allen in the Santa Claus
02:54Santa's just fallen off my roof and I've just put the jacket on
02:57So, yeah, and also I'll tell you what
02:59It's comfy in it
03:00I'll tell you what
03:01Your snake would be alright in these pyjama bottoms, mate
03:03Honestly
03:04This is the comfiest I've ever been
03:06I'm not going to say you've not gone too much effort
03:08But compared to the two of us
03:09Wearing, literally, slippers, pyjamas
03:12And just you've put on a Santa
03:14Yeah, I know
03:15I think these are comfy slippers
03:16I can only feel the one
03:18But I think
03:20Alright, the big story, of course, is Christmas
03:25And it's the story Alex has been most excited about all year
03:28So, let's start with this
03:29Is it okay that Alex interrupted a last leg meeting this year
03:32To have his Christmas tree delivered?
03:36Okay, is it okay he did that in October?
03:42Well, here's another is it okay for you
03:43Is it okay that it's a 13-foot tree?
03:46That is...
03:48I know, that's 12 more feet than Alex has
03:50Let's see, here's a photo of it arriving
03:57Just so you know, Alex took the tree out
03:59And then once that was done, Alex's wife put all her belongings in there and there
04:06Here's the photo of the tree once it was up and running
04:09Dude, it's so...
04:11Fuck it now!
04:12It looks like, you know those North Korean marches where they have the missiles
04:17Honestly, it's so big that's an actual star
04:22Is it a real tree?
04:23It's not a real tree
04:24Oh, no, no, no, no
04:25No, so even your Christmas tree is prosthetic
04:26Look, knowing how much you love Christmas, I would imagine the ads you get on your phone are different to the ads I get on my phone
04:41Oh mate, I mean the algorithm on Instagram
04:43I start getting loads of these like Christmas, like Larry Christmas suits and outfits
04:48Right
04:49Maybe because I was talking about Christmas jumpers
04:51That's all my algorithm, it's just Christmas suits
04:53Yeah, we've got some of the garish images Alex has been getting, check these out
04:58The thing with it is, you two complain a lot, you know, about your disabilities
05:02But that guy in the suit, he hasn't got a head
05:07It looks like...
05:09I'd say that's far...
05:11At the Paralympics, you're in the toughest category
05:15Especially if it's a dead heat in the sprinting
05:17The suit, I love the suit, it looks like the kind of suit Santa would wear to court
05:27You know what I mean? Like if Santa turned up in the Epstein files
05:31Oh no, Santa's not, obviously Santa's not in the Epstein files
05:35Obviously, because we all know Santa makes the list and checks it twice
05:38I reckon...
05:41Pausing for an edit
05:50I think nothing says Christmas Eve more than Philadelphia and the Epstein files
05:56I reckon if you can encapsulate Alex's algorithm into one image, it would be this
06:03Declan Rice, dressed as Santa, drinking a Frosé with Big John
06:06That is...
06:08That's Alex's...
06:10I'm assuming that's your default setting when you blank out during an Asian
06:13Is it true you want a dash cam for Christmas?
06:16Yeah, I do, I generally do
06:17I've got banged...
06:18So, I've got banged into dash cam footage
06:21That's the other thing my algorithm is jumping up
06:23What do you mean?
06:24So like, I've got really into like, watching these videos
06:27Of like, just people having near misses
06:29But the one I've been getting into most
06:31Is a geezer called Big Jobber
06:33Wait, what?
06:34His name's Big Jobber
06:36I'm going to say it, Hilsey
06:38When Brooker searched Big Jobber, he wasn't looking for a dash cam footage
06:40That he's...
06:43He assesses, like, the insurance liable
06:47Who's at fault for the crash
06:49Based on the dash cam footage
06:50Are you okay?
06:52I think I'm having like, the most boring midlife crisis of all time
06:57But I really want a dash cam
06:59We've got a very special treat for Alex tonight
07:01So we've been following Santa on his radar tonight
07:04So we're going to check in to see where he is right now
07:06Have a look at this on the map
07:07He...
07:09Now, that seems to be Huddersfield
07:11Which is where you live, Alex
07:12Yeah
07:13He seems to be stuck there
07:15Let's go to Santa's dash cam
07:16Or as he calls it, dash-a-cam
07:18To see what's happening
07:25What arsehole put up a 12-foot tree?
07:28I hope they don't breathalise me
07:30I've had 83 million cherries
07:32Here's your froze machine, you prick
07:35LAUGHTER
07:40Now, one AI generator reimagined Santa over the decades
07:44Showing how, and this is a quote
07:46Beloved figures can evolve alongside society's progress
07:49Here is its revealing timeline of Santas
07:52Let's go through them one by one
07:54Here's 1960 Santa
07:56Textbook
07:57Classic Santa, Coca-Cola Santa
07:58I have no issue with that
07:59Yeah
08:00Yep
08:011970s Santa
08:02Ooh
08:04I've...I'm not letting my kids sit on his knee
08:07LAUGHTER
08:09Let's look at 1980s Santa
08:11Wow
08:13He's been lifting his sack, hasn't he?
08:15It's no wonder Mummy was kissing Santa Claus
08:18Look at that guy
08:19That'll leave her Saint Nicholas
08:21LAUGHTER
08:23LAUGHTER
08:25LAUGHTER
08:27Did somebody just go, oh dear?
08:29LAUGHTER
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33I, I thought...
08:35I enjoyed it!
08:36Oh dear!
08:38That from me, do you know what?
08:40It's ruined Christmas
08:42And that's a guy who was fine with the Epstein joke
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46Uh, 2010s Santa?
08:48Couldn't give a shit, could I?
08:50LAUGHTER
08:522030s?
08:53Well, I'll tell you what, JK Rowling's not going to be happy from 2030s
08:57LAUGHTER
08:59LAUGHTER
09:01Oh dear!
09:03LAUGHTER
09:04Look, there's one in the audience!
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07How did that happen?
09:09LAUGHTER
09:11APPLAUSE
09:12Mate!
09:14It's the one fucking night you were!
09:17LAUGHTER
09:19I'm not so sure about 2050s Santa
09:21I mean, no, I mean, he looks like he's going to shoot the naughty boys again
09:25LAUGHTER
09:27And look, as Santa faces an AI future, so does the art of gift giving
09:29Cos surveys have found that a lot of people are using generative AI for present ideas
09:33I love the idea that tomorrow there's going to be men everywhere
09:36blaming AI for misjudged gives for their other halves
09:40LAUGHTER
09:42It's just going, I mean, Jack GPT just said anal beads, I don't even know why
09:46LAUGHTER
09:48Like, the technology's just not, it's just not right
09:50By the way, look, do us a favour, can you quickly ring your mum and tell her not to open hers?
09:54LAUGHTER
09:56LAUGHTER
09:57So we've decided to use AI tonight to choose our presents for each other
10:02Uh, and to deliver them, would you please welcome all the way from the future
10:06Robot Santa!
10:08Santa baby
10:10Yes, with the saving and the virtue
10:13For me
10:16Bring in half a good day
10:19Santa baby
10:21I mean, the technology in the future is amazing, isn't it?
10:25I tell you what, the robot's improved more than the trolley, hasn't it?
10:30LAUGHTER
10:32It's not often I get to say this about other people, but you do walk a bit funny, don't you?
10:37LAUGHTER
10:42Can the robot do the Vs towards Alex?
10:45LAUGHTER
10:47All right, so we started by asking AI the question, what is a good Christmas present for Alex Brooker?
10:52Now, once we explain who Alex Brooker was...
10:55LAUGHTER
10:57LAUGHTER
10:59It suggested a personalised Arsenal jersey
11:02Yes, please!
11:03Could you please bring the presents over?
11:05LAUGHTER
11:09Do you know what?
11:10Yeah?
11:11RADA is fucking good, isn't it?
11:13LAUGHTER
11:14LAUGHTER
11:19LAUGHTER
11:21Four years of debt for this!
11:23LAUGHTER
11:25Thank you very much
11:27It's good to have Daniel Day-Lewis back in the game, isn't it?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:32Unbelievable!
11:34There we go
11:36Thank you, Robot Santa
11:37LAUGHTER
11:39LAUGHTER
11:41They said... Do you know what?
11:42When they said Greg Wallace would never be back on TV...
11:45LAUGHTER
11:47APPLAUSE
11:49LAUGHTER
11:53LAUGHTER
11:55LAUGHTER
11:57So I started out by asking AI what to get for Alex...
11:59Yes
12:00And it said, a personalised Arsenal jersey
12:02Am I allowed to open it?
12:03You are allowed to open it
12:04Oh, wow!
12:05So we've got you an Arsenal jersey
12:07And on the back we've got the picture of you...
12:10With Declan Rice and Big John drinking the Frosé
12:13Oh, yes, please!
12:14Merry Christmas!
12:18I love this robot, he did a little...
12:20He did a little happy dance when it was good!
12:23So when I asked...
12:26How is the robot funnier than all of us?
12:29LAUGHTER
12:30This is the future, Josh
12:31LAUGHTER
12:33So when I asked AI what to get Josh, it said...
12:36Something that balances his sober lifestyle, his love of home, his writing work and his comedic vibe
12:42Oh, that's genuinely nice!
12:44It said, a premium tea gift set and notebook combo with a personal note
12:51So an AI wrote the note, this is a personal note
12:54Oh, for when you fancy putting the kettle on...
12:56I genuinely like this
12:57For when you fancy putting the kettle on and jamming down those five-minute observations
13:03LAUGHTER
13:04This is the great thing, it also added...
13:06Uh, Josh is an observational comedian who focuses on the minutiae of everyday life
13:11rather than big topical issues
13:14LAUGHTER
13:15I think anyone who's seen me trying to walk around the news on this show would agree with that
13:20LAUGHTER
13:21And so what did AI suggest for me?
13:24Well, AI...
13:26Basically they said, something that was tied to your interest in disability awareness and sport
13:30But more importantly, a high-quality item that acknowledges that part of his life but not in a pitying way
13:36They wanted us to give you something empowering
13:39Not in a pitying way?
13:40No, so we didn't want to get you any sort of present that would kind of sound pitying at all
13:46So we've got you a book
13:48You have got me a book
13:49It's called, um, The Little Disabled Engine That Could
13:53LAUGHTER
13:55LAUGHTER
13:57Thank you so much, boys
13:58I can add that to my collection along with C-Spot Limp
14:01LAUGHTER
14:03Owe the places you'll park
14:05LAUGHTER
14:06And can we also have a big thank you to Robot Santa
14:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:11Now, Christmas telly is also changing
14:18There's a reality series on Hallmark this year called Finding Mr Christmas
14:22The TV show focuses on ten aspiring actors who compete for the chance to be the next leading man in a Hallmark Christmas film
14:30Here is the cheesy trailer for the wholesome reality series
14:33Boy, do I have an early holiday gift for you
14:36We are back for season two with an all-new group of hunks and festive face-offs
14:41Check out this sneak peek
14:42It's a huge house
14:43I'm down to stay here for a while
14:45What's up, guys?
14:46What's up, fellas?
14:47What's up, Angel?
14:48Dude, it's so epic
14:50Dude, we got the trust circle going on already
14:55I don't trust that trust circle
14:59Have you seen Finding Mr Easter?
15:01It's a bit bleaker because the winner gets nailed to a cross
15:04LAUGHTER
15:06LAUGHTER
15:11Now...
15:14Throughout the show
15:17Sorry, it's the latest quote to Reggie for you
15:20Honestly, it was just everything you say with that ponytail
15:25Now, throughout the show, this Finding Mr Christmas
15:28Did you just get a cut away of my fucking ponytail?
15:31We've never used that camera angle in 15 years
15:34Where's that from?
15:35That's not one of our angles
15:39Where's that?
15:40I don't even know where that camera is
15:43Throughout Finding Mr Christmas, the actors have to complete a series of challenges
15:47including gift wrapping, untangling Christmas lights and acting in a scene
15:51But we think they missed a trick
15:53Because we've got our own Mr Christmas here, Alex Brooker
15:56I don't know why they didn't cast him, right?
15:58100%, mate
15:59Yep
16:00So, throughout the show tonight, we're going to set Alex a series of Christmassy tasks
16:04And he's going to do the first one now
16:06We need you to head over there, please, Alex
16:07I didn't know why
16:08Are you ready? Are you ready?
16:09It's based on this festive challenge
16:17Remember, guys, presentation is important
16:21But your personality and star quality are always on Santa's radar
16:27So give us your best runway walks and slay!
16:30Yeah!
16:31Link, you're up first
16:38Oh!
16:39Okay, hello!
16:41Melissa, I don't want you to get too close to this fire
16:43Sugar melts
16:47Wow!
16:52So, it's time for Alex to take on the Mr Christmas catwalk challenge
16:57Alex, I want some strut with a good will to all men vibe
17:20Genuinely, by the way, don't get too close to me
17:22Because I think this is flammable as fuck
17:24Alex, you're through to the next round
17:29Yeah!
17:35Alright, let's welcome tonight's guests
17:37They're Bake Off royalty, which means much like real royalty
17:40They're both in bread
17:41Please welcome Alison Hammond and comedian Harry Hill
17:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:02I don't believe it, Frances Rotti and Tim Allen
18:04Aww
18:08And Bernard Cribbins from the railway tour
18:10LAUGHTER
18:12Now, Alison you has already received the best gift of all a few weeks ago
18:17When Prince Harry lip synced to one of your exchanges from Bake Off
18:22I thought I was dreaming when I saw that
18:24So here's the perfectly timed clip with Stephen Colbert
18:26If you were treated like a king for the day
18:29What would you want me to do for you?
18:31Um, Bec for me probably
18:33You'd want me to do what?
18:35Bec?
18:36Bec?
18:38Bec?
18:39Bec?
18:40Bec?
18:41Bec?
18:42Bec?
18:43Bec?
18:44LAUGHTER
18:45APPLAUSE
18:47APPLAUSE
18:49What a weird moment!
18:51Crazy
18:52I mean, it sounds like, oh my God!
18:54Prince, me and Prince Harry are connected now
18:57You totally like that
18:58You know what I mean? We're tied
18:59Yeah
19:00I mean, how can I be humble now? Do you know what I mean?
19:02LAUGHTER
19:03Does it make me kind of like royalty now?
19:05Like, am I a princess?
19:07Am I?
19:08Yeah, but it does appear that Prince Harry has got a lot of time on his hands now
19:12LAUGHTER
19:16Do you reckon?
19:22Um, Harry, what are your Christmas traditions?
19:25Um, well, we always, what we do with the TV
19:29When we have the, you know, Christmas lunch
19:31Yep
19:32And then we have, we've got one of those TVs that you can bring round
19:35You know, it comes, you can angle it round
19:37It's on the wall, but you can angle it round
19:39Yep
19:40We bring it round so that it's across the other side of the table
19:43And then we have the King's Speech on there
19:45So it's like he's joining us
19:47LAUGHTER
19:49For dinner!
19:51What's that?
19:52Yeah
19:53It has been a tough year for a lot of people
19:55LAUGHTER
19:57And look, we talked about Alex's 13-foot tree in his garden
20:01Anything special in your garden this Christmas?
20:03Oh, er, well, we've got robins actually nesting
20:06Ooh!
20:07Aw!
20:08Yeah, I know, we put up a nesting box last year
20:11Yeah
20:12And we've got some, actually some baby robins in there now
20:15Aw!
20:16Yeah, and I've actually got a camera
20:17You know, one of those little tiny cameras
20:18Oh, yeah, yeah
20:19Yeah
20:20It's like a bird watch
20:21Yeah, with like a live feed
20:22Yeah
20:23Erm
20:24Could we see that, or?
20:25We have got it
20:26Yes, yes we can
20:27Yes we can
20:28Let's see the live feed of your...
20:29There's a little robin in there this morning
20:30Oh, that's so lovely
20:31But, erm...
20:32Oh, that's really upsetting
20:45Yeah
20:46Talk about a live feed
20:48Me
20:49All right, we'll have more last week for you after the break
20:53As we chat to Rick Astley
20:55And find out which one of our guests had a crush on him as a teenager
20:58See you in a little bit
20:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:18Welcome back to The Last Leg
21:19We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Gill
21:22Uh, Alex is starting to change like Tim Allen in, er...
21:27I'm not
21:29Are you not?
21:30Are you not?
21:31No, I'm alright though
21:32I don't think that's how you looked in the last part
21:33That's absolutely the same, mate
21:34OK
21:35All right, Josh, do you want to explain what's going on with you?
21:38I'm going through the band-aid video
21:40LAUGHTER
21:41I, er...
21:42I didn't know Hanson were in band-aid
21:44LAUGHTER
21:45Handsome?
21:46LAUGHTER
21:47I can't hear much, by the way
21:50LAUGHTER
21:51I'm Sting
21:52From band-aid
21:53Look at that
21:54LAUGHTER
21:55Amazing
21:56Bang on
21:57I can't hear anything
21:58LAUGHTER
21:59I'm getting Gail Tilsley off coordination
22:01LAUGHTER
22:02LAUGHTER
22:03Anyone else doing that?
22:05APPLAUSE
22:06Please
22:07I'm getting...
22:08I'm getting Gail Tilsley and Paul Hollywood
22:10LAUGHTER
22:11LAUGHTER
22:12And obviously I'm now Tom Hanks as Woody from Toy Story
22:16Oh, yes
22:17Oh, yeah
22:18The first scene of Toy Story is when they all become friends at Christmas
22:21Yes
22:22Time now to welcome another guest to the Last League Christmas celebration
22:25He's a soul singer whose songs may be the one thing your family doesn't fight over this Christmas
22:29Please welcome Rick Astley
22:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:41Welcome to the party, Rick. What are your Christmas traditions?
22:44Um...
22:45Eating and drinking, I think, pretty much.
22:48Yes!
22:49My wife is Danish and we have quite a lot of Scandinavian tradition in our Christmas
23:05Bacon?
23:06Yeah, a lot of bacon, actually.
23:08Yeah, yeah.
23:09But also, um...
23:11They celebrate on the eve, on the 24th
23:13Yes
23:14So we've got into that habit over the years of doing that
23:16So...
23:17Well, I'm very sorry that you're here tonight on Christmas Eve
23:19I know!
23:20Well, exactly!
23:21I'm...
23:22Exactly!
23:23I'm straight back there after this
23:24And then...
23:25If there's anything left, I'll be, uh, you know, lovely
23:27LAUGHTER
23:29No, so, to be honest, tomorrow is a bit like our Boxing Day, to be honest
23:32Right
23:33It's a bit more chill and, you know, so...
23:34Yep
23:35Yeah
23:36Now, we asked AI to suggest, um, a present for you
23:38I can't wait
23:39OK
23:40LAUGHTER
23:41It said, maybe a rare vinyl copy of something like The Smiths
23:44Yeah
23:45Because you did a show of Smith songs at Glastonbury
23:47Indeed I did
23:48I saw it
23:49Which, yeah, you saw it
23:50And one of our team was there and captured the joy Josh felt
23:53As he watched you perform
23:54This is genuine footage
23:56Back on the streets of Birmingham
23:59I wander to myself
24:03Will I barely be safe again
24:07With each side streets as you sit down
24:10I wander to myself
24:14APPLAUSE
24:15What a nice!
24:16One of the best hours of my life!
24:18Oh, my God!
24:19APPLAUSE
24:20And watching that video...
24:22This is going to blow your mind
24:24That was after I stopped drinking
24:26LAUGHTER
24:27Right, OK
24:28Harry, you share Rick's love of Morrissey's music
24:31Er...
24:32His music?
24:33Yeah, not so much his...
24:34LAUGHTER
24:39But you...
24:40Don't talk about that, do we?
24:41You performed as Morrissey?
24:42I was...
24:43I did Morrissey and Stars in their eyes
24:45I remember it
24:46We have a dazzling clip of the enthusiastic performance from the turn of the millennium
24:50Marcy!
24:51APPLAUSE
24:52Marcy!
24:53APPLAUSE
25:04Functured bicycle
25:06On the sides of the line
25:09I won't let you make a man of me
25:14When in this charming car
25:20This charming car
25:24APPLAUSE
25:26Very good. So good.
25:28Have you ever met Morrissey?
25:30I haven't met Morrissey, but part of it was you had to get permission.
25:34So I had to get permission from Morrissey to impersonate him.
25:37There was a... Or to do that song.
25:39And I got a fax through in the old days of faxes,
25:42and it was signed by Morrissey saying,
25:45Good luck, Morrissey.
25:47And so I thought, oh, so Morrissey's on the other end of this number,
25:50because the number is there.
25:51I thought, well, I'll...
25:53And I had this idea, so I sent him a fax back saying,
25:56how about you and me do a novelty single for Christmas,
26:00our version of Little Donkey.
26:02Wow.
26:03But I never... He never heard back.
26:05I mean, you've got your own quiff.
26:09I have. I have to wear an artificial one.
26:11But if you liked, I could...
26:13Would you like me to reprise the...
26:14Would you like...
26:15Yes.
26:16Yes.
26:17Yes.
26:18I'm not feeling it.
26:19Come on!
26:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:22What a showman!
26:27He knows how to get the crowd going.
26:29LAUGHTER
26:30Here we go.
26:31Here we go.
26:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:34Yeah.
26:35Lovely.
26:36Which...
26:37It's uncanny.
26:38LAUGHTER
26:39Little donkey,
26:41little donkey,
26:43on a dusty road,
26:46going to keep on
26:48plodding onwards,
26:50with your head around.
26:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:53Brilliant.
26:54Oh, mercy everyone.
26:55LAUGHTER
26:56Merry Christmas.
26:57So good.
26:58Alison, is it true you had a teenage crush on Rick?
27:00Well, it's not the sort of place I would, like,
27:01probably admit it, with Rick literally sitting there,
27:03but he already knows.
27:04We've met quite a few times,
27:05and now I'm quite cool with it.
27:06Are you?
27:07Like, I'm all right.
27:08I'm totally cool with, like, being in the...
27:09As long as Harry's sat between us.
27:10Oh, yeah, exactly.
27:11LAUGHTER
27:12So, Alison, just to clarify your story,
27:13you used to fancy Rick Astley,
27:14then you met him and now it's going to work.
27:16LAUGHTER
27:17Not at all!
27:18Not at all!
27:19Not at all!
27:20Not at all!
27:21Not at all!
27:22Not at all!
27:23Not at all!
27:24Not at all!
27:25Not at all!
27:26Not at all!
27:27Not at all!
27:28Not at all!
27:29Not at all!
27:30Not at all!
27:31Not at all!
27:32Not at all!
27:33Not at all!
27:34Not at all, Josh!
27:35Obviously, I've still got feelings,
27:36but there is, like, you know...
27:37Have you?
27:38Do you want to expand on that?
27:39LAUGHTER
27:40Listen, I'm not saying there's a chance...
27:41There's a wife!
27:42There's a wife!
27:43There's a wife!
27:44I feel like I'm the...
27:45I'm the Billsbury!
27:46Come on, Harry!
27:47Come on, Harry!
27:48Come on, Harry!
27:49Come on, Harry!
27:50Come on, Harry!
27:51Come on, Harry!
27:52There!
27:53Oh, no!
27:54I don't know when I'm not wanted.
27:55LAUGHTER
27:56Listen!
27:57LAUGHTER
28:04Obviously, I was a lot younger than I am now,
28:09and obviously, I still get the same feelings.
28:12LAUGHTER
28:13I'm going to say it.
28:14There's a chance you're going to be Rickrolled.
28:16LAUGHTER
28:18Come back, Harry!
28:20Come back, Harry!
28:22Harry!
28:23Alison, on the very night that his wife is celebrating Christmas...
28:27LAUGHTER
28:29Well, she's not here, is she?
28:30Yes, sir!
28:31LAUGHTER
28:33Just out of interest, Rick, where can Alison see you perform next year?
28:38Yeah!
28:39LAUGHTER
28:40Um, here, there and everywhere.
28:42We're on tour in April.
28:43Um, which...
28:44Are we?
28:45Yes, we're all on tour.
28:46LAUGHTER
28:47Um...
28:48Short notice.
28:49Yeah.
28:50So, um...
28:51Yes.
28:52We can't wait.
28:53We can't wait.
28:54We're looking forward to it.
28:55And now, Harry, you and Alison both host different versions of Bake Off,
28:58but you have brought your own showstopper to the show tonight.
29:00LAUGHTER
29:01Yeah, I've got to go back there again.
29:02Go on.
29:03LAUGHTER
29:04Well, I just think, you know, people forget, um, what Christmas is really about.
29:09Yeah.
29:10And what they concentrate on is the food.
29:12You know, it's all about the food.
29:14Mm.
29:15So, what I've done is I've done a, um, my own...
29:18..savoury nativity.
29:21Um...
29:22Brussels!
29:23Which I've...
29:24LAUGHTER
29:25Which I've made.
29:26Which I've made myself.
29:27And what...
29:28So, just trying to get the message of Christmas through...
29:30LAUGHTER
29:32Through food.
29:34Through food.
29:35Smells lovely.
29:36And...
29:37Do you want me to...
29:38Do you want me to talk you through it?
29:39Yeah.
29:40So, these are frazzles on the roof of the, uh...
29:43LAUGHTER
29:44That's the...
29:45It's a pond bear.
29:46LAUGHTER
29:47As...
29:48As the angel Gabriel.
29:49LAUGHTER
29:50And then we have the three kings here, which I...
29:53LAUGHTER
29:54I made from pepper armies, cos they're...
29:56LAUGHTER
29:57They're spicy, a bit more exotic.
29:58LAUGHTER
29:59You've got the two sausages here.
30:01Joseph and Mary.
30:03Obviously, Joseph is a bit taller than Mary.
30:05LAUGHTER
30:06And then you've got the star of the show, the baby Jesus,
30:11which is a pig in blanket, and there's the...
30:14LAUGHTER
30:16I don't mean that in a sort of negative...
30:18LAUGHTER
30:20I don't want any trouble.
30:22LAUGHTER
30:23You've got the manger made out of chip sticks.
30:25They're nice.
30:26And then you've got the halo there.
30:28LAUGHTER
30:29So that's just something that perhaps people could,
30:31you know, make their own tradition now.
30:33LAUGHTER
30:35Savoury Nativity.
30:36Would you like to...?
30:37Have you got it in kit form?
30:38Try.
30:39Do you, like, sell it in a kit?
30:40Could you...?
30:41It's about 12 quid.
30:42LAUGHTER
30:43I mean, the slight problem with it is, to secure the sausages,
30:46you do have to use, um, screws.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:52And we're going to have more last leg for you after the break,
30:54as Alex performs a Hallmark Christmas scene
30:56we've written just for tonight, but right now,
30:59Rick Astley is going to perform his first Christmas hit
31:02of the night.
31:03Before he does, though, we've talked about
31:05Alex's love of Christmas, but Lib Dem leader Ed Davey
31:08revealed in an interview this year that he listens
31:10to Christmas tunes all year round.
31:12Wow.
31:13How do we feel about that?
31:14Is that all right?
31:15Oh, I wouldn't.
31:16But isn't his birthday on Christmas Day?
31:17That's the reason, isn't it?
31:18Er...
31:19I think his birthday's on Christmas Day,
31:20so that's probably one of the reasons why it means a lot to him.
31:23Yeah.
31:24Because otherwise it would just be fucking weird.
31:26LAUGHTER
31:28Well, it's going to make the next bit awkward.
31:40Er, Rick is going to play us into the break,
31:42but who better to introduce him than the leader of the Lib Dems...
31:46LAUGHTER
31:47So, Head Davey!
31:49LAUGHTER
31:51Hi, guys, it's Head Davey here.
31:53Merry Christmas to you all.
31:55It's true, I like listening to Christmas music all year round.
31:59The reason is, my daughter and I love winding up her mum,
32:03and it's on my iPhone and we play it in the car all the time.
32:07Erm, I'm never going to give up Christmas.
32:10So, here's Rick Astley.
32:12APPLAUSE
32:21Sleigh bells ring
32:23Are you listening?
32:25In a lane
32:27Snow is glistening
32:29A beautiful sight
32:31We're happy tonight
32:33We're walking in a winter wonderland
32:36But later on
32:38We'll conspire
32:40As we dream
32:42By the fire
32:44To face unafraid
32:46The plans that remain
32:48Walking in a winter wonderland
32:51Come on, Ron, let's go!
32:55We're talking, let's go!
32:56We're talking.
33:05We're talking, let's go.
33:07We're talking, let's go!
33:08Oh
33:30Welcome back to last leg we're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill
33:35Alex you're definitely changing
33:37I feel a little bit more Christmassy at the moment
33:39Do you?
33:40Feeling it a little bit different at the moment, but you're definitely progressing
33:44No, I haven't
33:45Okay, Josh, would you like to explain
33:50No, I'm from the band-aid video. Yeah, so I'm Sarah Dallin from Bananarama
34:04It ain't what I do it's the way that I do it we've always said it
34:09And obviously I'm Tom Hanks in the movie Forrest Gump because he famously said life is like a box of chocolates and the main time you get chocolates is at Christmas
34:19You still look a bit like you're gonna strip
34:21Yeah, Forrest Hump
34:24And now throughout the show we've been putting Alex through his paces to see how he'd fare on the US reality series Finding Mr Christmas
34:32The winner of the first series by the way earned a leading role in a holiday movie about the owner of a Seattle dog shelter
34:38Who falls for a meticulous web page editor? The movie was called Happy Howlidays
34:44See what you did there. See what they did there. Love it. Alright, I'm gonna send everyone
34:50If you could all go over and get ready for the next challenge for Alex, please over in that corner of the studio
34:56So Alex's final challenge tonight is to test out his acting chops in a scene
35:01We've written as the ultimate hallmark Christmas movie lights camera Christmas
35:15Help help I need an emergency appointment. Oh my god. It's Alison Hammond the big city TV presenter. That's right
35:22I've become so career focused. I've lost touch with what's important in life. I'm single and I'm home for the holidays
35:31and
35:32And I've hit a dog
35:37Oh my god, what happened
35:44I'll tell you what happened
35:54It's quite difficult to talk because it's really tight on the jaw
35:58At least do a dog voice
36:00I'll tell you what happened
36:08That's better
36:09Yeah, is that better? That's better
36:11I was just sitting there by the side of the road licking my own balls
36:15And she came round the corner like a lunatic and hit me
36:18Yeah, but he's such a cutie. I've really fallen for him
36:22Is there anyone here who can treat him? I can't let him die. I'm the presenter of for the love of dogs
36:29Of course miss Hammond. Do you know what the hot vet will see you now? Oh, but I'm next
36:33I'm sorry. Mr. Hill. Yeah, your cat's gonna have to wait. It's not the cat. I'm worried about it. It's the Robins
36:49I'm afraid miss Hammond is next, but I'm on the telly. I know but not as much as Allison. No one's on the telly as much as
36:58The hot vet will see you now
37:03Oh
37:05Somebody order a dream boat
37:07Are you the hot vet? Yes, I'm sweating buckets. Do you know how hard it is to operate with these little hands?
37:14You look like a man who could really heal my heart. I mean dog. What kind of dog is it?
37:19I don't know one of those really little whiny ones by the looks of it
37:26Tell you what why don't you come back to my charming little cottage and have Christmas with me and my children
37:31They've been missing a mother figure in their life ever since my wife died in a tragic Christmas kite accident
37:39And then we could go back to the big city and maybe you could become the resident bet on this morning
37:45Oh
37:47There you go little fella
37:49Get that on there boy
37:51Is that it?
37:53Stop whinging or I'll cut your bollocks off
37:55Come on princess let's go
37:57Come on princess let's go
38:05Oi what about my robins
38:11This Christmas Alex Brooker is the hot vet in Hallmark's new movie vet the hall
38:17All right
38:27It's time to bring out a Christmassy mystery guest
38:31Harry and Alison have to try to work out why they were in the news this year
38:35Can we please have this week's mystery guest?
38:37mystery guest
38:49Welcome Josh Alex who is the mystery guest this is Rob he was in the news this year for a Christmassy reason
38:55But what was it can we have the dramatic lighting change please?
38:59So did Rob get suspended from Broadland radio for playing all I want for Christmas is you on October the third?
39:09Did he get suspended as a school exam invigilator after playing Merry Christmas everyone by Slade to signal the end of the final exam?
39:18Or did Rob get suspended by an undertaker after mistakenly playing last Christmas rather than the last post at a funeral?
39:26What do you think?
39:32Well, I don't think you'd make a mistake at a funeral you'd be well prepared
39:35Does he look like an undertaker?
39:41That's a grave digger
39:43That's a grave digger
39:45I'll tell you what we'll reveal the mystery guest after the break Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas we'll see you in a little bit
39:51Welcome back to Last Leg
40:09We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill
40:12Alex has now become full Father Christmas
40:15Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
40:18There you go
40:21That was a good one
40:24You know what? In another reality where the cards had fallen different he'd currently be doing that in a grotto in a garden centre
40:31You're not entirely sure what's going on with your costume?
40:35Well, I didn't think we had very long
40:37So I was the dog already so I just shoved mine on top of the dog
40:41OK
40:42So I'm Boy George
40:44Do you know what I'm calling this outfit?
40:56What?
40:57Hair Boy George
40:58Oh, lovely
41:04And clearly I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway
41:06Because when he first experiences pain due to an infected tooth that goes on to become an ongoing issue whilst he's on the island
41:12He's had a Christmas dinner
41:15Oh, and I've got the volleyball as well
41:18Hooray!
41:20Ha ha ha ha ha!
41:22Recognise that handprint
41:27Before the break we challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news
41:30Can we have the options again please?
41:32Yes, this is Rob and he was connected to the news this year for a Christmassy reason
41:39But what was it?
41:40Was it because Rob got suspended from Broadland Radio for playing
41:44All I want for Christmas is you on October the 3rd?
41:47Was it because he got suspended as a school exam invigilator after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
41:53To signal the end of the final exam?
41:55Or did he get suspended by an undertaker after mistakenly playing last Christmas
41:59Rather than the last post at a funeral
42:03Ho ho!
42:05Harry, Ellison
42:07Could we...
42:08Could you say something sort of local radio-ish?
42:12So we could see whether...
42:13Coming up on the show!
42:15Well, hi folks, hope you're having a good Sunday
42:18Yeah, is that it?
42:20You've got a good voice for radio
42:22Could you say...
42:23You could have said no Rob
42:24LAUGHTER
42:28Shall we go with the radio?
42:30Yes, it's very...
42:31Would they suspend someone just for playing...
42:33It's a bit mean, isn't it?
42:35If they've done that, that is mean
42:37It's a cutthroat world local radio
42:38I wouldn't be listening to that radio station anyway
42:41If the banding...
42:42That's the last time you listen to Broadland Radio, isn't it?
42:45Well, I thought you said Broadmoor
42:47LAUGHTER
42:53Rob, can you reveal your identity, please?
42:58I am indeed Rob Chandler, breakfast presenter at Broadland Radio
43:03And I was suspended for playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song
43:06Early in October
43:08Amazing!
43:10Ooh, indeed!
43:12Why did you play it and then why did they suspend you?
43:14Well, it started with a text from a listener called Becky
43:19Who said she was putting out her Christmas stock in her shop
43:23And could I play a Christmas song?
43:24So I thought, tell you what
43:26If I get at least five listener texts saying ho ho ho
43:30Ho ho
43:32Exactly
43:34I'll consider it
43:36And we did, we got a load of text saying ho ho ho
43:39One or two saying no no no
43:40I don't know
43:42But then Billy the taxi driver
43:44You must know Billy the taxi driver
43:46No
43:50Another keen listener
43:52Text and said there's a tub of chocolates in it for you
43:56If you play Mariah Carey
43:58All I want for Christmas is you
44:00So, came back after the news
44:02And I read that text out and I said
44:05Quite frankly I'm disappointed Billy
44:07That you could think I could be so shallow
44:10To fall for such a blatant bribe
44:14Yeah
44:16Ding ding ding ding
44:18Played a song
44:20How long was you suspended for?
44:22One day
44:24Oh is that all?
44:26Did you go shopping? What did you do?
44:27What did you do?
44:28What just stayed in bed all day
44:30Can we please have a round of applause for Rob?
44:38Alright, we are about to end the show with a Christmas sing along from Rick Astley
44:42But before we do, would you please thank our guests
44:44Alison Hammond
44:48Harry Hill
44:50And my co-host Josh Riddicom
44:53And Alex Brooker
44:54We'll be back next week for our New Year's Eve special with an incredible line-up
44:58Musician Peter Doherty
45:00Comedians Maisie Adam and Phil Wang
45:02National treasure Sir Lenny Henry
45:04TV personality Danny Dyer
45:06Rugby star Hannah Botterman
45:08Lioness Lucy Bronze
45:09As well as a celebrity barman who is 100% faithful
45:14Right now though Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas
45:17Thanks for watching your last leg
45:19My name's Adam Hills
45:20Merry Christmas to all
45:21And to all a good night
45:24You better watch out
45:28You better not cry
45:30You better not pout
45:32I'm telling you why
45:34Santa Claus is coming
45:36To town
45:38It's snowing, Rob, let's go
45:39It's snowing, Rob, let's go
45:42It's snowing, Rob, let's go
45:43Let's go.
46:07Yeah.
46:08He sees you when you're sleeping
46:13He knows when you're awake
46:16He knows if you've been bad or good
46:20So be good for goodness sake
46:23You better watch out, you better not cry
46:27You better not cry, I'm telling you why
46:30Santa Claus is coming to town
46:35He's got eight billion toys on his sleigh
46:40He's packed, he's coming your way
46:44Santa, it's coming to town
46:50Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
46:54Bang! Merry Christmas!
47:05Thank you
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