- 8 minutes ago
QI XL S23E09 Winter Wonderland
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening!
00:29Merry Christmas and welcome to QI where we are walking in a winter wonderland let's meet our windswept wanderers driving home for Christmas. It's Julian Clary
00:44It's Fatia El Gorey
00:50It's Jimmy Carr
00:56Reindeer in the headlights. It's Alan Davis
00:59Thank you
01:04Let's hear their wintry buzzers Julian goes
01:12Fatia goes
01:14Frosty the snowman
01:16I was ready for a bit more. I thought it was a bit tight. It's Christmas. Hello. Yeah
01:21Jimmy goes
01:23Snow let it snow let it snow
01:25And Alan goes
01:27Why does it always rain on me
01:31Right let's start by looking under your desks. I have some Christmas presents for you all
01:39Sandy
01:41Yes, what each year. Yeah, you give us presents. I do. Yeah, and this year I have a present for you. Oh, okay
01:50Applause, please
01:58This is from all of us
02:00Okay
02:01And who wrapped it?
02:03Don't worry about the wrapping. The wrapping is fine
02:05Don't worry about it. Right. Why am I likely to be delighted by this gift exactly the way it's been presented?
02:11And that looks like a child has wrapped it
02:15And so maybe from
02:19From the heart
02:20Yeah
02:21I never want to get a present where I have to get an implement to open it
02:24Yeah, you've got to get scissors out
02:25You've got to get a pen knife or something to get into it. I don't like that
02:28This is better
02:30You could actually probably blow on it and it would open
02:32I think you're probably right
02:34So there was an American writer called Drusilla Lowry
02:37And she wrote a book called the art of wrapping gifts, right?
02:40And she said that a sloppily wrapped package indicates poor taste and indifference or lack of skill
02:45But there was a study done in 2019 University of Nevada and they found the opposite
02:50People actually react rather better to a poorly wrapped present because they have a much lower expectation of what's inside
02:58I don't like getting gifts
03:00Do you not? Why?
03:01No, because people then expect gratitude and I didn't rarely feel any
03:07Keep your gift
03:08Do you prefer to give or receive?
03:10Gift
03:12Can we just clip that and put it on TikTok?
03:16I'm going to see what it is and did you choose it yourself?
03:18Yeah, yeah, yeah
03:19Okay
03:20Jimmy help
03:22Oh, look
03:24It's a waffle iron
03:25That's so lovely
03:26There you go
03:27I love that
03:28Thank you
03:33So this effect of responding better to poorly wrapped presents
03:36It's true if you get it from a stranger or if you get it from a close friend, right?
03:40Where we don't like a poorly wrapped present is when it's from an acquaintance
03:43Oh
03:44I'm trying to shake off acquaintances
03:47You're either in or you're out
03:48Yeah, exactly
03:49Is that right?
03:50It is
03:51It is
03:58That's the spirit
04:00I think that will run all evening, don't you?
04:03Well, I'm sure there's an ointment for it
04:07But if it's an acquaintance, apparently people prefer it to be neatly wrapped because then they feel that that person has taken some time about it
04:13When they say to you in the store, would you like that wrapped?
04:16Hmm
04:17Should you say yes or no?
04:18I sometimes think that really shows that you don't give a toss
04:22Yeah, you get somebody else to do it
04:23It really does
04:24You just get them to do it with the scissors and the ribbon
04:27If someone gives you a poorly wrapped present
04:30Yeah, then that means you can give them a poorly wrapped present
04:32So I don't mind
04:33Yeah, or you can just wrap it up the same again and give it back
04:35Or sometimes what I do is throw it in the bin and then they come and visit me and then I go
04:39Can you put this in the bin, please? And then they see their present then they know it's shit
04:44My mother once gave me the ugliest kitchen clock I've ever seen in my whole life
04:48Anyway, Terry Wogan in those days doing the Wogan show and he asked for ugly things you'd received
04:53That they could sell off for children in need as a joke, right?
04:56So I sent this clock in
04:58Well, if my mother's there she says let's watch the Wogan show
05:02And the thing comes on and I can see the clock in front of him and I pretended I was having a seizure
05:12Anyway, I did receive an absolutely fantastic gift, which I want to show you
05:16So I just want to handle this very very carefully
05:18I'm just gonna bring these gloves
05:20Are you going to give me an enema?
05:24So look at this marvellous box that we've got here and when I open it up inside
05:31This is a Saints relic, okay?
05:34This is Saint Wolfstan
05:36You'll like this patron saint of vegetarians and peasants
05:40It looks like a chicken bone
05:41It does
05:42Okay
05:43It is a chicken bone from one of the researchers lunches today
05:46It is
05:48What I was trying to prove is what they call the reliquy effect
05:52So if you show a random bone and you put it in a marvellous reliquy case
05:56People will think it is much more valuable than it is if it's just a chicken bone
06:02Which is in fact what it was
06:03That's a bit like you know when I wear makeup
06:04Yes
06:06Well there was a time when perfectly ordinary brown paper was used
06:09I'm going to put the put my relic away
06:11Brown paper was used a lot in shops to wrap presents
06:141910s paper commonly used in American grocery stores and the newspaper started to write editorials against the practice
06:21So why might that be 1910s?
06:24Where are we heading for 1910?
06:26The war?
06:27World War I
06:28You need paper
06:29It's essential for war
06:30And it was becoming increasingly expensive
06:32And I think they thought if you could reduce demand
06:35By trying to get people to stop having their things wrapped
06:38Nevertheless in this country
06:39Each year we use 227,000 miles of wrapping paper
06:45Oh good little murmur there
06:47Yeah
06:48It's enough wrapping paper to go around the earth nine times
06:51The amount of card used in Christmas cards every year could stretch between London and Lapland over a hundred times
06:57I mean it's a lot of paper that we use
06:59Yeah
07:00Most of it can't be recycled
07:01No
07:02I don't know what the Christmas card thing
07:03I don't know what the etiquette is meant to be
07:04I'm the same with birthday cards
07:05How long are you meant to keep it?
07:06Are you meant to read it and pop it straight in the bin?
07:09Or
07:10I like the ones where people have done the photo themselves
07:12And I love a round robin
07:14Oh a round robin
07:15We were very pleased that the footings for the Conservatory have gone in
07:18Wow
07:20This tells you that they've buried a relative
07:23We've got a new patio
07:26You know my uncle is a proper tight prick yeah
07:32I swear down one day on my birthday I got a card
07:35And I'd opened it and he tip-exed out happy Christmas and put happy birthday
07:40And there was a robin on the front I was like we're Muslim for God's sake
07:44What are you doing?
07:45What are you doing?
07:46I quite like that
07:47I like to go and buy like a happy retirement card for a sixth birthday
07:51I just do it
07:52My grand would do that
07:54She would get a card and tear it in half
07:57Yeah
07:58And give you the picture bit just written on the back
08:01And claimed that it was because during the war you had to be frugal
08:05Right
08:06And it's 1976, Grant
08:08But why can't you recycle most Christmas cards?
08:10Potential?
08:11Yeah, it's all the glitter and all the extra bits and pieces
08:14There's metallic materials, shiny laminates and that kind of thing
08:17Do you know there's a trend happening at the minute, yeah?
08:20Probably not
08:23What women are doing and girls are like spraying their cells of glitter
08:26Yeah
08:27And then if your man's cheating you'll find glitter on him
08:30And then you know it's not you and you know he's cheating
08:32And then you bust his arse up
08:34Wow
08:35So you're spraying yourself in glitter and then if he's cheating you'll know
08:37She'll know, the other women will know
08:40Oh
08:41Does it not cause chafing?
08:45I don't think that's the main worry, Julie
08:48Right, that's Christmas wrapping all tied up with a bow
08:51But I do have presents for all of you as well
08:53If you would look underneath your desks, please
08:56I've gone with a sort of theme of wellness with these
09:00So Alan Loda, why don't we start with you?
09:03It's easy to undo, you see
09:05I know, yep
09:06Easy to undo, nice bit of ribbon
09:08There we go
09:10Beads
09:11Yeah, so why might you give beads to somebody?
09:15Because
09:19Because you don't really like them
09:21Because you're obligated
09:24Because you work with them and you have to think of something
09:26Because these were at the back of your drawer
09:28So what I can tell you is that all of your gifts are from early Christmas adverts
09:33So yours was first advertised in 1728 and it's called an anodyne necklace
09:39Actually this advert for it is from 1756 a little tiny bit later on
09:43So this is the weirdest thing
09:44These necklaces contained a poisonous plant called henbane
09:48It's also known as stinking nightshave
09:50It was meant to help children with teething pain
09:54At this time one in three children in England would not expect to reach their fifth birthday
10:01And teething pain was seen as a sort of sign of something much more serious and possibly something fatal
10:05So they claimed that if you wore one of these anodyne necklaces
10:08Curative substances would flow from it into the skin up into the mouth and so on
10:12You didn't have to chew on it, which was just as well
10:15Because it is actually a poison
10:17But it did seem to work
10:20Even though there's no medical reason for it
10:22Why do you think it might have worked?
10:24It was quite expensive
10:26There's five shillings for one
10:28It's one of those things where you tell people it's going to be good for you
10:31And then it works
10:32I think it is partly that Julian
10:34But also it is the fact that infant mortality rates were lower
10:37Amongst rich people and it was only rich people
10:40Who were able to buy them
10:42We used to give the kids bicky pegs
10:44What, for the teething?
10:46For the teething
10:47And then I don't know what it was
10:48And then
10:49And it would sort of gradually get smaller and smaller
10:52Like a dog biscuit
10:53Like a good dog biscuit that lasts
10:55Yeah
10:56You know
10:57Sounds like you're giving the kids dog biscuits
10:59Yeah
11:00I know what you're talking about
11:02It's like cork, innit?
11:04That's a good idea though
11:05Have a bottle of wine and give the children the cork
11:07Give the children the cork
11:09But rich people like Augusta
11:11Princess of Wales
11:12Her daughter Queen Caroline
11:13Of Denmark and Norway
11:14Who's the one on the left there
11:15In very small quantities
11:17This particular thing
11:18Henbane that was in it
11:19It is a mild sedative
11:21If you have more than 3 grams
11:23It can cause constipation
11:24Manic episodes
11:25Hallucinations
11:26And possible death
11:27Is this a replica or
11:29Yes, darling
11:30We also didn't want to kill Alan
11:32I mean
11:33Not till the Z series
11:35Don't miss that episode
11:38We are going to need a big finish
11:41Yeah
11:42Right Julian, do you want to open yours, darling?
11:44Ah
11:45Have you pushed the boat out?
11:47This is from a Christmas ad from 1825
11:50Oh
11:51What is it?
11:53It's macassar oil
11:55So do you know about macassar oil?
11:56Oh, I'm sure you're going to tell me
11:58Have you heard of anti-macassars, darling?
12:01Anti-macassar
12:02Yes
12:03What does that mean?
12:04It was a sort of a piece of cloth
12:06That sat on the back of the train
12:07Oh
12:08I thought it was a band
12:09From Camden Town
12:10Which is quite a good name for a band, isn't it?
12:12It doesn't smell
12:13Is that because you would have had oily
12:15Yeah
12:16People wouldn't wash their hair
12:17It's to stop the oil from the back of your head
12:18Going onto the train seat
12:19And it's called an anti-macassar
12:21Macassar oil
12:22Comes originally from the ebony trees in Indonesia
12:24But this was a much cheaper blend of vegetable oils
12:27Palm oils and coconuts
12:28So it's the 19th century equivalent of hair gel
12:31Pure grease is undoubtedly
12:33The best nourisher of the hair
12:35Yeah
12:36It's supposed to be very, very good for you
12:37Tell my daughter that
12:38Good luck
12:40Do you want to apply some?
12:43Yes
12:44Go on then
12:45Open your hand
12:46At times I've said that
12:51Now, there you are
12:52But you have to follow it by saying
12:53Here's some oil
12:55Right, go on then
12:56It's a lovely colour
12:58What is that?
12:59You've got to run your fingers through
13:00How to do that?
13:01The thing is, Sandy
13:02What will happen if I do that is
13:03Yeah
13:04We'll stop the show
13:05And the makeup department will come on
13:06Yeah
13:07Really fucked off
13:08Yeah
13:13You know those people
13:14Can you imagine the language back there now?
13:16They're watching on the monitor
13:17Yeah
13:18Don't you dare put your fingers through that hair
13:19Don't touch your hair
13:20Don't touch your hair
13:21Don't touch your hair
13:30I quite like it
13:31Oh, it is whiffy
13:32Does it smell nice?
13:33Well, I lied
13:34That's an exchange you've had before
13:35Right, Jimmy, come on, let's see what you've got
13:36You were five minutes in and you've lubed him up
13:37OK, you've not pushed the boat out here
13:38This looks fine
13:39So this, again, this is something from the past
13:411857
13:42Well, that's some pills of some description
13:43OK, so these are from Mr. Page Woodcock of Lincoln
13:45So there were two Christmas adverts for wind pills to treat indigestion
13:49To cure Wind or to give you more
13:50To cure wind or to give you more
13:51Well, so it depended which advert that you had a look at
13:52So the very first advert claimed that the pills would conjure happy festive memories
13:57So this is the Christmas advert
13:58The second was the subject of the hand
14:00Like there were a light. It was a candle
14:02And then that's what I liked
14:03It was a candle
14:04They were in a candle
14:05They were in a candle
14:06Yeah
14:07They were in a candle
14:08No
14:10Well, we're in a candle
14:10Then we're in a candle
14:11Yes
14:12So there were these
14:13Yeah
14:14Well, we get it
14:15That's the candle
14:16Well, I'll remain
14:17Christmas advert the second was the Boxing Day advert which was inspired by Christmas Carol and
14:23said the pills would cure people haunted by the Christmas ghost of indigestion so if you took
14:29them on Christmas Day made you happy if you took them on Boxing Day got rid of indigestion those
14:33are your basic happy pills that we've given you lovely yeah should we smash them up and do a line
14:41I'm very concerned about those two children in the hot air balloon sent off unaccompanied
14:47well not just that not dressed are they the ones with the wind is that what we think you can still
14:52get wind pills they're called Windy's yes you can actually promise you that my wife did buy me
14:57some for Christmas fun which really really amused the children I said stop listening at the door go
15:03to another room I haven't tried them actually could you I should yeah I really should right
15:13better come on yes mine's the biggest one here 1830 is this one this better not be like a gym or
15:20some shit like that yeah oh no no we don't do fitness you're fine can you imagine if I should do that
15:43should I do a rental service yeah you can rent me I'll hide in your toilet and then you'll come
15:47and I'll go Merry Christmas Christmas advert for a toilet appeared in several publications in the
15:531830s was a man called Robert Wyss there it is and he said it was the perfect gift for Christmas and New
16:00Year's it's a portable self-acting water closet so it's a kind of commode they used to be known as
16:06thunder boxes because Alan used to go in cabinet from the outside and then when you open it up
16:13it's got a commode on the inside of chamber pot that is the worst James Bond gadget what did they
16:20do before just had a sort of a bowl under the bed you know a pot but this had a system with stored
16:25water and you could actually flush the waste out of the pot and it went into a concealed hidden
16:29bucket which was then emptied by the staff discreet yes exactly exactly I mean you say discreet portable
16:36so presumably people would see you in the high street with it what's he doing with that cupboard
16:41he seems to be shitting in it during lockdowns I like to go for a really long walk I bought a
16:48portable toilet tent and it was it was like a big and you just popped it and popped up and like the
17:04size of a telephone booth and I thought this was marvelous and then you went in you have to sing
17:08when you're in there in case someone comes along well darling it was great apart from when it blew
17:12over outside outside outside the tower of London you come across a tent wandering round always have a
17:23little look inside because it could be sandy talks for technique okay presents away please what's most
17:32dangerous dangerous a lion a witch or a wardrobe definitely a witch
17:38would a lion be scared of a witch though you could reason with a lion
17:48that's a show we'd all watch I think
17:53and the witch if she's in a good mood you could get away with it but if a wardrobe fell on you then
18:05you'd be in trouble and that is the correct answer my darling absolutely right so the wonderful book the
18:15lion the witch in the wardrobe by CS Lewis dedicated to Lucy Barfield and Maud Lucy's mother was extremely
18:22worried that children would go looking for Narnia and get stuck inside a wardrobe so he had to put
18:26some extra lines of text in and every time you'll notice in the book somebody goes through the
18:30wardrobe he says they took care to leave the door ajar and CS Lewis does say it's a very silly
18:35thing to lock oneself in a wardrobe but apparently we are facing an accident crisis written loses 10
18:40times more working days to domestic accidents than we do to strikes so driving accidents have
18:45significantly decreased in the past 20 years but pretty much all other accidents have increased
18:51falls are by far the biggest culprit why do you think we might be having more and more falls because
18:58there's more stairs oh I like that we've had a tremendous increase in stairs yes well if I have an
19:05accident slightly to be on the stairs or sometimes I open the fridge door and hit myself on the head
19:10there's that terrible fact about if you break a hip as well you're better off having stage four
19:25cancer than a broken hip it's in Peter Attia's book on longevity if you break a hip it's very very bad
19:31news why are you reading books on longevity now I've had a lot of work done my face is like Trigger's
19:40broom the original still there in 2016 so this is according to the national accident helpline one
19:49in 75 people surveyed had been injured while shopping in a sales rush one in 50 people reported falling out
19:56of the loft while retrieving Christmas decorations one in 90 people had suffered burns while roasting
20:02chestnuts on an open fire one in 50 had fallen out of the loft yeah it's an extraordinarily high number yeah what do you
20:10think is the gift in recent years it's caused the most accidents knives
20:16I bought you a very sharp knife sandwich maker yes you could trap your finger in the thing e-scooters is exactly
20:25right darling my nephew's nearly died oh he cut his the back of his ankle and he cut an artery what
20:31and then yeah he nearly died foolish boy I mean 416 people seriously injured in 2023 and 965 slightly
20:42injured 338 fires there's a lot more people falling out the loft though isn't it what's the worst or most
20:49embarrassing accident anybody here has ever had oh you're counting soiling yourself I mean
20:55we are now I've got a soiling myself story if you go for it darling well I've told this story before I
21:05think last time I was on this show but it's so long ago darling it's in colour now anyway
21:10but no beat this I once I once shat myself while meeting the Queen
21:21it's a Royal Variety show yeah and you had to queue up and you know she came and shakes your hand and I
21:35don't know if it was nerves or I'd had a bit of trouble I can't remember but it was only a little pellet
21:40but that's true story let's hear you're soiling yourself I can remember doing a little pellet as a child
21:55and it came out that my trouser leg is that what happened to you yes it's shot across the stage
22:05in the general direction of Claire Sweeney this story's got everything I've got a poo story I was gonna
22:16tell a story about shaving and now you I'm gonna go with the poo yeah I want to go the poo shaving that's
22:23actually fine can I just say to me I don't have a poo story this will be the last one oh I cut my scrotum with
22:37is this at the Royal Variety performance with the Queen and trying to shave my balls at the same time
22:44I was alone sure to do a podcast and there was a company that's lots and lots of podcasts about
22:52football nearly all by boys and mostly listened to by boys anyway they started sending these shaving
22:58kits around giving the shaving kits for shaving your undercarriage with and we were all sort of in 40s and 50s and thought what the people are doing what now
23:07anyway I tried it and I cut myself for this shouldn't be possible it's it's got all this kind of protective thing on it but I got a little bit carried away
23:20and that is the most embarrassing accident and now you've made me say it on the Christmas show
23:25I'll tell you where you went wrong you need to stretch the skin that's what it is you just went like this because you're lazy but you need to stretch the skin trust me I know I'm Arab I know about hair
23:39hair thank you so much for doing mine
23:42I've got a room in that bathroom to get that smooth
23:46you'd need two people like if you were folding a sheet
23:54two people pulling it out and one other person with a lawnmower
24:00I can't believe I'm stopping this fascinating conversation
24:08so hear yours about poo
24:10so yeah I was like seven or something and then we went on a school trip to a farm and I wanted to do a poo but the teacher goes go on your own to the toilet and I was like no
24:19so I just shit in my pants and then like I sat in here and I had it in my pants all day
24:24and all the kids shut up all the kids all the kids were like oh there's a we can smell poo and I was like oh yeah I wonder who it is maybe it's the stinky kid and when I got home my mum put me in the bath and it was stuck to my skin she had to soak me and then put it off with a butter knife
24:43merry christmas everyone merry christmas
24:46once went on a coach trip
24:47oh please don't
24:48and the driver was a huge man really really big man and he pulled over on a hard shoulder and he got out of his cab and he made his way down the aisle
25:00he thought what's going on and he went down the stairs into the loo and eventually he re-emerged and he said no one can use the toilet it's full
25:10anybody in the audience want to talk about
25:20now I've got everybody a bowl of christmas walnuts
25:26can anybody you know there's that thing where you crush two in your hand and you
25:30oh I've just done it
25:31oh I don't know my own strength
25:35yeah I know the I know the trick so what you do is you put one there and then put the other one next to it and then you just go like that and then it opens
25:54does it happen yeah it will just just what do you mean it will so it hasn't
25:58it will stop flirting with me okay
26:02I can't believe I've got to sit next to the stinky kid
26:05it's a bit like the patsy if you don't know who the stinky kid is it's you
26:16so I've done it by the way look congratulations yeah yeah it's a mess but I've done it
26:21now why is it so hard to find a walnuts anus
26:27what have I just eaten are they heterosexual walnuts it depends what kind of walnut we're
26:36talking about I'm looking at the walnut but this is not the kind of walnut is it
26:40now you've done this game before haven't you different kind of walnuts the ones in
26:45front of us the walnut bird
26:49it is a creature in the sea and they are called sea walnuts look at this so
27:03I love those see-through ones they're also called warty comb jellies it's not a
27:08jellyfish it's a bit like a jellyfish that's not a jellyfish no yeah I'm not
27:12sure who you're talking to about my friend is a jellyfish so why isn't it a
27:17jellyfish I'm telling you I'm telling you it is no well the reason that we
27:21know it isn't is because it does have an anus so if it was a jellyfish it
27:26wouldn't but what is extraordinary about them is that these are transient anuses
27:32what do we think that means it moves around well it's only there for a very
27:36short time they only create one on a temporary basis when they need to poo so
27:42when it needs to go the digestive system fuses with its skin to form an
27:47opening it does a poo and the opening then closes in a matter of minutes and
27:50they do this about once an hour unless they're a very very young one in which
27:54case is about every 10 minutes so it is a jellyfish most of the time no it isn't
28:00once an hour it isn't a jellyfish briefly wonder why they do that though what's in
28:05it what's in it for them what to do to have a permanent asshole I think it's that
28:11they're not so vulnerable darling I think it's that it's basically it you know it's
28:14an exit for them and an entrance for others well tell me about it
28:19when you think about it though it would be practical if you're on I don't know let's say a school trip
28:27perhaps yeah just to not have one the whole time because you know accidents happen
28:35a long walk to the toilet maybe I'll just shit myself what jellyfish don't have anuses they expel
28:43their waste through the mouth so it's the difference between the two how do you know it's its mouth
28:47what's it saying I mean I think people have studied this there's a fantastic there's an amazing American
28:54zoologist called Libby Hyman and it was because she noticed that these particular creatures the sea
28:58walnuts have these transient anuses what she realized that they were not the same as jellyfish
29:02I don't even think that's a real person Libby Hyman Libby it sounds made up she's from a limerick
29:08if it I've got a Libby Hyman have you still intact but you horse ride
29:17now this picture is a wassail box it's a traditional Christmas item you would have to pay to look inside
29:29what will you give me to look inside a penny penny I like the guy a penny would be fine there was a
29:37Christmas tradition called a wassail but where where yes Yorkshire was very common Newcastle
29:43doesn't it well it's actually Scandinavian thing so you would ask for some money and then it would
29:48show what's inside what do you think is in the box that they're going to show it's a music box no it
29:53is in the kids version two tiny dolls representing the Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus and that's not the
30:07real Virgin Mary and baby Jesus yes this is the real vote smaller than you think it do you think people
30:16were smaller my children are really getting really big my daughter's too taller than nearly all of us so
30:30it's if you really went backwards through time with people getting a little bit smaller a little bit
30:35smaller that probably is how big Virgin Mary you're gonna ask why Alan doesn't sit in this chair I was gonna
30:49say he's hot today in it this tradition we don't know how old it is maybe 18th 19th century it has
30:55carried on except in America I don't think they've really got the hang of it because sometimes when
30:59people do it they open the box of inside is Ken and Barbie the one in the middle there is from
31:05the distant past when people were small I'd say you're from the 1400s you go door-to-door and you
31:20would sing and you would offer alcoholic drinks from a wassail bowl that's what she's holding there
31:25in return for gifts she's saying we are banana Rama I don't think I'd like some random man knocking
31:33on the door asking for money to look in the box why did Oliver Cromwell ban Christmas don't tell
31:47anyone right but he was a Muslim damn you I thought I was gonna think of something
32:07nothing came out imagine you meeting the Queen what's he doing there he feels like he's signaling
32:18to someone answer is that he didn't well you might want to check again because yeah he did no it's a
32:26Christmas myth truth is he actually quite liked a party he enjoyed smoking and drinking scandalously
32:32he allowed dancing at his daughter's wedding so he wasn't anti party the Christmas ban started with
32:38the Scottish Presbyterians so they had been discouraging Christmas celebrations for years
32:43since 1583 and the Puritans needed the Scottish support so it's his party that were trying to keep
32:49the Scots calm and it wasn't Cromwell himself who thought let's get rid of Christmas there are parts
32:54of the country where they didn't pay any attention at all so Devon and Cornwall for example they just
32:58carried on they probably hadn't heard about it when do you think Christmas Day became a holiday in
33:03Scotland I give you ten points if you're within the right decade 1974 not far 59 you win 58 yes
33:12absolutely
33:15so it wasn't a holiday it wasn't a holiday until 1958 yeah
33:20anyway moving on why were Christmas Day weddings so popular in the past
33:30snow is it one of those things where like if you have your wedding on Christmas you can't forget your anniversary
33:38do you forget yours do you forget your anniversary yeah yeah if you get married at Christmas it feels
33:47like that or Valentine's you go it's also one gift yeah great oh you may I ask are you married no no
33:53we're just friends I've been married and divorced twice because I don't learn the first time
34:02no I'm sick of these people either of her husband to be both I married her twice I'm a master of disguise
34:19I'm Moroccan and whatever saying we say if it rains on your wedding day then it means it's gonna turn
34:26out bad and that's why it rained on both my weddings in in Morocco yeah yeah famous for its rain is it
34:35yes my husband slipped his finger into my ring
34:44but anyway getting back to the question yes
34:47yes
34:48why get married on everyone's got the day off unless they've got it
34:52because it's the correct answer
34:54ah I was about to say that
34:56I'm so sorry
34:57I'm so sorry
34:59I'll tell you
35:00wait that's it well pretend he hasn't said it what were you gonna say Julian no don't patronize me
35:06it's because they didn't have many days off yeah it's a Christmas Day was off what better day exactly right Christmas Day and Boxing Day were the sort of days that you
35:19very clever boys you mean yes you are yes you are a clever boy so it was a very popular time and in fact churches would give discounted rates if a multiple
35:29couples got married at the same time this is a picture at St George Church in London in 1920
35:35she's got stars on her head the third one from the left why has she got two stars
35:39oh yeah
35:40a TripAdvisor
35:41a TripAdvisor
35:42it's a TripAdvisor thing she's not great
35:45in 1913 the Guardian reported that Church and Stepney had married 25 couples all on the same day
35:52oh
35:53now it's almost time for the bum note that we call general ignorance but this year I have some friends to help me
35:59with the questions please welcome the QI choir under the direction of John Riddell take it away
36:29what occasion was this tune composed for oh yes julian easter the john lewis christmas ad home alone when the thieves breaking in
36:36well that is true it is in home alone yes but that's not what it was composed for it's after christmas what comes after christmas what comes after christmas what comes after christmas what comes after
36:43what occasion was this tune composed for oh yes julian easter the john lewis christmas ad home alone when the thieves breaking in
36:58well that is true it is in home alone yes but that's not what it was composed for
37:03yes but that's not what it was composed for it's after christmas what comes after christmas
37:06twelfth night boxing day easter
37:10some holiday mother's day
37:12new year yes yes Alan it's new year's exactly right what do we call this tune does anyone in the audience know this
37:21carol of the bells is exactly right but it was originally a ukrainian folk song for new year's eve it was called shed rock which means bountiful evening so the lyrics are nothing to do with bells nothing to do with christmas
37:33it's actually about a swallow visiting a home and delivering luck for the new year the very first modern arrangement was 1919 a ukrainian composer called mikolai leontovich and then a ukrainian american called peter wilhowski and he rearranged it and added the english lyrics and renamed it carol of the bells in 1922 but it has always been associated with christmas ever since let's have another tune who sang this song in the 1982 animated film the snowman
37:59the snowman
38:03we're walking in the air
38:07we're floating in the moon it's
38:11snow
38:13Julian's off who was it alid jones
38:15no
38:17it was written by howard blake specifically for the film but it was actually sung by a choir boy named peter oughtie there he is he's now professional operatic tenor
38:28but he didn't get any credit in the film because they forgot to put his name on
38:321985 the song was used in an advert for toys r us and it had to be re-recorded but him this guy peter oughtie's voice had already broken and so a new version was sung by alid jones and that was released and that became a huge hit and that is why we think alid jones sang it in the film but it isn't actually him
38:48here's another song that was originally written for new year but what is the first line
38:54this is the first line
38:56the lala lala lala lala lala lala lala
38:58La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
39:02La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
39:04La la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
39:06NO.
39:08What are you going to say?
39:10La, la, la, la, la...
39:11LAUGHTER
39:13La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
39:23Is it Deck the Halls with something and Holly?
39:25Deck the Halls with Apple.
39:28I didn't say boss. I don't know why you buzz me. I don't know. Is it tis the season to be jolly?
39:40Ant in deck with Phil and Holly
39:43So I asked for the original lyrics and it's an old Welsh tune called Noscallan or New Year
39:49The oldest version of the lyrics are translated into English as this
39:58Oh
40:15Oh, I like
40:20Oh, how soft my fair one's bosom absolute filth
40:24Finally have a listen to this
40:30Now who wrote it and what instrument is performing the lead melody
40:39So the nutcracker it is the nutcracker you are absolutely right
40:43Tchaikovsky Tchaikovsky is very good and the oboe it's not an oboe
40:46Hapsicord it were nearer with the harpsichord triangle
40:54It's the dance of the sugarplum fairy Tchaikovsky's the nutcracker. It's played on a celesta
41:04There it is a celesta if you lift that up you can take a shit in it
41:07I can take a shit in it
41:14If you lift it up, Sandy talks things
41:16I'm busy
41:17I'm busy
41:18A celesta comes from the French word for heavenly so it looks like a piano but when you press the keys hammers hit metal plates with wooden
41:27Resonators underneath it gives it a sort of soft almost like a triangle
41:30It was invented in 1886 by a Parisian organ maker Charles Victor Mustel and his son August and Tchaikovsky ordered one immediately
41:37Does anybody know what a sugar plum is? It's the dance of the sugar plum fairy
41:42Isn't it a thing that hangs off a tree? Christmas tree that you can eat?
41:46Yes, it's exactly right. It's a kind of sweet. It's what's called a comfit
41:49It's a cedar nut or a berry which has got layers of hard sugar and I will give ten points to anybody who can tell me where we saw
41:58Sugar plums at the beginning of the show. Oh, now they were mentioned on one of the adverts
42:05That came up earlier. You're exactly right. It was for your anodyne necklace. Yeah, you get ten points. Very very very well done
42:19At the top of the advert it says sugar plums for worms and it was thought to be a cure for intestinal worms
42:26It was widely believed they might kill the tooth worms as well that caused toothache. So well spotted darling
42:32I read it all
42:34No, I love that you've actually remembered something
42:38Now it's time to look at our scores. Let's see who's top of the nice list and who's on thin ice
42:43Pretty sure I nailed this
42:44Joy to the world in first place with 16 points. It's Alan
42:49Don't worry ski happy in second place with minus nine. It's Julia
43:08Nobody's perfect in third place with minus 27 fatia
43:12Last place a lost claws
43:20Minus 29 Jimmy
43:31Thank you to fatia Jimmy Julian and Alan and a very Merry Christmas from all of us
43:37Let's all go and join the choir and sing off you go people
43:40Oh
43:48Oh
43:50We're a wind blossom, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
43:53Oh, how blessed love this is, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
43:59Words of love and mutual kisses, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
44:04Merry Christmas, everybody!
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