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FunTranscript
00:00Dear Maxine,
00:03The money arrived in the nick of time.
00:07Hi, Choi. I'll always remember you.
00:09It's not safe to stay in one place too long.
00:12I bring too much heat to those I love.
00:14Thank God.
00:15I boarded a plane with some of Choi's Marxist comrades.
00:22The KGB presented me with a new name,
00:25Olga Rychbichkaya,
00:28and I was assigned a new job.
00:30Honest, noble work.
00:33Washing dance belts for the Bolshoi Ballet.
00:36The artistry, the grace, Maxine.
00:39It's worth every bleeding chill blame.
00:42And that's when I saw him.
00:47Vladimir Nureyev.
00:51That's right.
00:52Half-cousin to Rudolph.
00:58Maxine, I'm in love.
01:03The next few weeks we'll be playing the Kirov.
01:06After that, who knows?
01:08Warsaw, Samarkand.
01:10The world is wide open.
01:12So many countries and men to explore.
01:17Perhaps this is my true birthright.
01:21A free yet hunted woman of the world.
01:25I wish you the same liberation.
01:27Do-svidaniya, Olga.
01:32Linda is free and has found love again,
01:34while I am here, divorced, and stuck with my ex-husband.
01:37She's just cranky because she hasn't gotten laid.
01:39Oh, and you have?
01:40Because that's not what I'm hearing.
01:41We are here because she gave my ancestral home to a literal mobster.
01:49The only reason I did that was so Pinky wouldn't kill you.
01:52I don't need protection, Maxine.
01:54Stop protecting me.
01:56Maybe if you would have used protection with my manicurist,
01:58we wouldn't be here in the first place.
02:00It always comes back to that.
02:02Y'all need to work this shit out.
02:04Because you're working for us now.
02:06You've come around here so often they put me on your case.
02:09You're welcome.
02:10I just don't know why my club has to be the magnet for mobsters.
02:14Well, this is bigger than Pinky.
02:16Jay Edgar here is convinced that there's a Soviet operative
02:18here in Palm Beach.
02:19Someone above Pinky that's been running him all these years.
02:22Don't look at me.
02:24I'm not.
02:25It's someone connected and smart.
02:28So you want us to keep Pinky crummin'
02:30until the Russian mole reveals himself and then you bag him?
02:34Your club is our honeypot.
02:36Why should Linda have all the fun in Russia?
02:38I'm in.
02:42This is serious, Maxine.
02:44International serious.
02:46Keep your ears open.
02:47Pinky's handler can be anybody.
02:49Except him.
02:53Great, I'm gonna be late to meet Mitzi.
02:55Dinah's throwing her braby shower.
02:57I think you mean baby.
02:58No, Maxine, braby.
03:00It's a combination bridal baby shower.
03:03Sounds like an absolute gasp.
03:04Yeah.
03:05It's gonna be fun.
03:06It's gonna be a lot of fun.
03:07Well, I'm late too.
03:08I'm meeting my new partner, Pinky,
03:09to talk crimes and the best way to commit them.
03:14I love the new gangster me.
03:16I love brabies.
03:23Everything was all turned around.
03:26Douglas was married with a baby on the way.
03:28I had the Delacorte, a life of crime, and a new role to play.
03:34Hardly recognize myself.
03:40What about this one?
03:41Too much cleavage or not enough?
03:43Better than the last one.
03:47Hey, give me another nip of that nerve juice.
03:50You knew me.
04:03Here I come.
04:16I don't know where it is.
04:18I'm in the way down.
04:22Whoo!
04:31You're in the way down.
04:32Whoo!
04:33I'm in the way down.
04:35Whoo!
04:36Whoo!
04:38Whoo!
04:39Robert!
04:59Robert!
05:02Who's on the couch?
05:07You are?
05:07What?
05:14Maxine?
05:20Who are you?
05:22I'm Mirabelle.
05:25Your sister.
05:33A what?
05:37Who?
05:38Who?
05:39Who have you?
05:42They would deal with us.
05:48Who you have got?
06:49Decorum and class.
06:52Both have been slipping at the Palm Royale, but there's a new game in town, and it's called Evelyn Rollins Martinez Takes No Shit.
07:05Tomorrow, we host our first high-profile event, Mrs. Douglas Delacorte's Braby Shower.
07:16It must go off without a hitch.
07:18And may I remind you, there is only one Mrs. Delacorte in Palm Beach.
07:24If this barbarian shows her face, she is to be barred at the gate.
07:34Is that understood?
07:42Yes, ma'am.
07:43Louder!
07:44Yes, ma'am.
07:44I've got a million and ten questions for you.
07:47Where'd you come from?
07:48What's your favorite color?
07:49Dog breed?
07:50Pasta shape?
07:51Why are you so drunk in the middle of the afternoon?
07:53Tennessee.
07:55Green.
07:56Schnauzer.
07:57Elbow macaroni.
07:58I don't normally over-tipple like this.
08:02I was just a little nervous about, you know, meeting the famous Maxine.
08:07Famous?
08:08Do go on.
08:09You're in all the papers.
08:10The next queen of Palm Beach.
08:13Your two-timing husband leaves you in front of everybody.
08:16Enough about me.
08:17Let's go back to you.
08:19Were you raised in an orphanage like me?
08:24Ma and Pa raised me.
08:25I guess they only had room for one.
08:27Eeny, meeny, miny.
08:30Mirabelle?
08:31Oh.
08:32Well, shoot.
08:34That's my mobster.
08:35It's a matter of national security.
08:37You stay here and rest, and I'll come back and we'll chit-chat for hours.
08:43Okey-dokey.
08:44I'm just gonna go to sleep and take a little nap and then...
08:51She's a drunk look-alike who shows up out of nowhere, Maxine.
08:54Oh, stop it.
08:55I can't wait to introduce her to Palm Beach.
08:57Maybe even have her move in, and she can help me with the club.
09:02We can call it M&M's.
09:04Hola, mis amores.
09:07Welcome to Raquel's.
09:10Ah, that wall comes down to make room for the fountain.
09:15Ay-ya.
09:16Dale.
09:21Buenos dia, Evelyn.
09:23I'm here for my pound of flesh.
09:25Who do you think held those garbage mortgages you paid off?
09:31Exactly.
09:32I paid them off.
09:33You paid off what that pissant owed me, not my protection.
09:37For which I will take a vig, every week, cash.
09:41Raquel, I've come around on the dog track in the backyard, but I'm a little stuck on the name.
09:47What about it?
09:48I was thinking maybe my name could be at the front of it.
09:51Maxine's.
09:52Why would Raquel's be called that?
09:55For one thing, this is my house, and I'm a partner.
09:58But I have a wife, and the wife trumps everyone.
10:03And if I say no?
10:04Your waitstaff is union.
10:06I tell them to walk, they walk.
10:07A ver, a ver, a ver.
10:08Tu no et ta amedazando.
10:09You twerding us?
10:10He's not inviting us to a pig roast, Teddy.
10:12Well, it is almost time for my two o'clock sauna.
10:15I do my best thinking in the schvitz.
10:21Can't the club at least be classy like the Palm Royale?
10:25We both want to crush Evelyn here.
10:27Raquel's will be an after dark destination.
10:30It can never compete with the fussy old Palm Royale.
10:33Only a dead body in the pool could take that place down.
10:37Maximo!
10:38Te estoy llamando, por favor.
10:40Viene aquí cuando te llamo.
10:46Palm Royale by day, Raquel is by night, huh?
10:51God bless America.
10:58Adios, Papu.
11:05Who the hell does he think he is?
11:09Who you calling?
11:10You don't want to know.
11:12Raquel's, Maxine's baking.
11:18Maxine, I have a pinky problem, which means we have a pinky problem.
11:23Oh, no.
11:25You hurt your wee little finger in a freak golfing accident.
11:28That's terrible, Evelyn.
11:29What are you jabbering on about?
11:30What are you jabbering on about?
11:31Did you hear what I said?
11:32Well, no one's going to want to see that mangle digit.
11:34I think new gloves are just what the doctor ordered.
11:37Are you having a seizure?
11:38I'll meet you at Seals.
11:39Asap.
11:40Oh, Virginia.
11:40What does Evelyn mean she had a pinky problem?
11:48Evelyn's got an actual, not a metaphorical gangster pinky problem.
11:52Freak, tennis injury.
11:53I heard golf.
11:54Did you know that sporting injuries are, uh, America's silent killer?
11:58Number 12.
11:59Bye, Virginia.
12:00Are those braby checks?
12:06No, dear.
12:07These are political donations.
12:10After my speech at Marjorie Meriwether Post Square Dance, envelopes have been pouring in,
12:16mostly fives and twenties from impecunious lefties.
12:19But look, Mitzi, here's a check for a whopping $500 from the National Organization of Women.
12:28Who would have thought?
12:31Doug should have been here by now.
12:33Every time he's out of my sight, I worry Pinky's got him.
12:36It's not Pinky you should worry about.
12:39It's Maxine.
12:41Once the shine wears off the new girl, a man always remembers when life is about the old one.
12:49I'm still shiny.
12:51I'm glowing.
12:53I'm pregnant and shiny and glowing.
12:57Die, die, die.
13:00What?
13:01Die, die, die.
13:03Don't you see?
13:05This is from Norma.
13:07Why would Norma want you dead?
13:09She knows that I know that she killed Axel.
13:13She's trying to silence me.
13:16It's dangerous to be a Democrat.
13:30You left something.
13:32Miss me?
13:34Is that even your real voice?
13:37I also do French, Italian, and syllable-whistled language from the Canary Islands.
13:46I thought you were in jail.
13:47Out on bail.
13:49So I thought I'd drop by and pay a visit to some old friends in Palm Beach.
13:53I had a little surprise for your friend Maxine.
13:56But then...
13:58Then what?
14:00I saw you.
14:02And I realized why I really came back.
14:04And it wasn't to screw Maxine.
14:06I'm not gonna fall for your lies again.
14:08I wish I could lie to you.
14:10It would be so much easier.
14:12Both of us being here like this.
14:14It's...
14:15It's kismet.
14:17Our second chance.
14:19To run away.
14:28I'm with someone.
14:31Who's the lucky guy?
14:36The cop who arrested you?
14:38Well, that cop was very hot.
14:41Listen, I don't know what your plan is with Maxine.
14:43But you better leave her alone.
14:45And you better leave Palm Beach.
14:47Before I turn you into the man I love.
14:49If only you would turn me into the man you love.
14:52I love you.
14:53I love you.
15:20Please leave.
15:21Please.
15:25Please.
15:26Please.
15:32I hope he's working.
15:35Whatever.
15:49Oh, man.
15:51Oh, God, yes.
16:04Now look, Cory, where have you been?
16:07Pinky, hey.
16:08Hey, buddy.
16:09You disappeared over here.
16:10Oh, yeah.
16:11I have been deep in the mines, prepping for this Braby shower.
16:17It's a combination, baby slash...
16:23You know what?
16:27Never mind.
16:29When you disappear and leave me hanging, I feel...
16:32I feel disrespected.
16:35I need a sign of respect, Delacoy.
16:38What are you thinking?
16:40Oh, your baby shower is tomorrow.
16:42Braby.
16:42So you can make it up to me publicly by...
16:45announcing me the godfather of your child.
16:54Kid leather, cloth and lace.
16:56Everything we have in stock as per request.
17:01Hello.
17:03Great man, a little privacy, please.
17:05For gloves.
17:07Have you seen her cuticles?
17:11What's with the gloves?
17:13It's not safe for us to talk on the phone.
17:14We have got to get rid of the Kimberly Marcos.
17:18If I tell you how, will you be my friend again?
17:21Will you let me back into the bummer now?
17:22Oh, for God's sakes, yes.
17:23I'll be your palsy-walsy and let you back into the club.
17:26Now, how do I rid myself of this mobster?
17:28You can't.
17:30That's the thing.
17:31Pinky is not just a mobster.
17:33Evelyn, he's being run by a powerful Russian agent.
17:37Russians in Palm Beach?
17:38I know, it's crazy.
17:40I've got to think of something.
17:42What would Norma do?
17:44She'd be an iron fist.
17:45She'd kill someone.
17:59You didn't like your steak.
18:00It's tough and all dried out.
18:04I'm sorry, I must have overcooked it.
18:07I saw you.
18:11With another man.
18:13And I'm not even allowed to be mad about it because I'm married.
18:17And I told him to get the hell out of this town.
18:33Or I was going to have my beautiful, sexy cop boyfriend arrest him again.
18:39Again?
18:41Wait.
18:43Tom.
18:44Oh, my God.
18:46Tom.
18:47That, that wasn't.
18:49Tom.
18:50Tom.
18:52You were making out with the most dangerous con man in all Palm Beach.
18:55And you told him I was your boyfriend?
18:57I wasn't thinking.
18:58I could lose my job.
18:59And my pension.
19:05My family.
19:06Tom.
19:06Well, go on.
19:08Where are you going?
19:10Come on.
19:11Well done.
19:13Like the steak.
19:14Somebody pinch me.
19:28Oh, Maxine.
19:30I always dreamed about having a slumber party with my sister.
19:34You dreamed about me?
19:35Of course.
19:37I always had a Maxine-sized hole in my heart.
19:41You know, before I knew your name, I would call you Annette.
19:45I had a hole, too.
19:49I crammed my Mirabelle hole with things like pageants and clubs.
19:56I crammed a whole lot of stuff in there.
19:58Now that you're here, my hole is full.
20:01Well, just tell me everything.
20:04Start from the instant you were born and they chose you and not me.
20:07Let's not focus on the bad stuff.
20:09I have an idea.
20:10Let's tell each other secrets.
20:12Oh, what kind of secrets?
20:14Deep, only tell your twin kind of secrets.
20:18Okay.
20:19I've been married happily for about 20 years, which I think is a success in that department.
20:24But otherwise, I haven't really had much luck.
20:28Romance-wise.
20:29Really?
20:30You're so pretty.
20:34I've sort of had a bad track record.
20:37I tried to kiss a gay pool boy.
20:40I blew it with a lawyer who may or may not have been a gynecologist.
20:44Been there.
20:47I'm worried.
20:49Worried that you only get one great love in your life and then I found mine.
20:53My deep, dark secret is that maybe I'll only ever love Douglas.
21:05Anyway, your turn.
21:07Deep, dark, secret.
21:08My deep, dark, never told anyone in the whole wide world before secret is.
21:19I love Dick.
21:23Nixon?
21:26No.
21:27Ding-a-ling.
21:28Schlong.
21:29Peckerwood.
21:31Man-rod.
21:31Oh, I get the gist.
21:34Men are all the same to me.
21:36You found your person and I'm worried I'll find anyone because...
21:40Why be with one man when you can have them all?
21:45Huh, that's a point.
21:48Let's play a game.
21:49Okay.
21:50Big spoon or little spoon?
21:52Oh, I'm big spoon.
21:52Me too.
21:53Okay, my turn.
21:55Have you ever done it in a bus?
21:57Like a greyhound?
21:58School.
21:59No.
22:00Have you ever done it in an ambulance?
22:01Welcome to the Braby Shower.
22:06Bridal shower gifts on the two top.
22:08Baby shower gifts under the cabana.
22:11My life is in grave danger.
22:13But the show must go on.
22:14Hello.
22:15Baby shower gifts under the cabana.
22:18Oh, thank you so much.
22:22I love it.
22:24You're welcome, mi vida.
22:26Anything.
22:27Or my godson.
22:28Or daughter!
22:29What did she mean, godson?
22:41You know me, Mitz.
22:43I like to make conversation and I might have...
22:45You might have what?
22:49I might have mentioned that the Kimberly Marcos could be the kid's godparents.
22:55Godparents are supposed to take care of the baby if something happens to the mother and father.
22:59And?
23:00They're going to kill us!
23:03Thanks.
23:05They're mobsters and they're going to kill us and take all the money.
23:08All 82 million.
23:09Yeah, well, Mitz, this actually might be the perfect time to tell you that the actual number is 41 million.
23:22Douglas.
23:23I told Maxine that she could have half of the money once the baby is born.
23:28You were just making conversation.
23:32It might have been a lawyer present.
23:37Doug!
23:38May I drink?
23:41Cheers, Douglas.
23:43You think you're caring.
23:45Little bundle of joy.
23:48You have no idea.
23:51Really, it's an 82 million dollar ticking time bomb.
23:56No one is safe in this town.
23:59No one.
24:00Least of all me.
24:03Oh, hello.
24:04No, that goes over there on the two-top, darling.
24:07Go.
24:07No.
24:08On the two-top.
24:10God, my job is never done here.
24:16I guess some people just get to have stuff like this, don't they?
24:20Keep it.
24:21It's yours.
24:21Thanks.
24:28What were they like?
24:30Who?
24:31Ma and Pa.
24:33You've never really said anything.
24:36You could never accuse me of being a crack-shot judge of character, but I'm pretty sure they were terrible people.
24:47That's...
24:48Disappointing.
24:49Trust me, you were lucky growing up in the orphanage.
24:52Oh.
24:54Meanwhile, I was hot-wiring cars at the Joanne Fabric or robbing banks.
25:00What?
25:01You rob banks?
25:03Yeah.
25:05The best thing that came out of it was my karate chop.
25:08Mom and Dad taught me kung fu to help with their bank robbing.
25:12Because they had a theory.
25:13And they were right.
25:13Then no one would expect a little girl to come out of nowhere with a karate chop.
25:18It's pretty damn small, too.
25:20And chubby.
25:22This chubby little roly-poly thing would waddle out and karate chop you if you had conflicting feelings about mom and dad's bank robbing.
25:32Sometimes I still act like a baby when I do it, just to catch people off guard.
25:41So, that's what got them locked up, after all.
25:46Oh, no.
25:47They got away with all that.
25:48One way or another, if you could believe it.
25:51No, what got them in the end was futzing with their taxes.
25:55Not paying them, basically.
25:56Tax evasion?
25:58Yeah.
25:58Tax evasion.
26:04That's how I can get Pinky and Raquel.
26:08Something boring, administrative, and nonetheless illegal, good old-fashioned Al Capone-style tax evasion.
26:17And I know they're guilty of it because Raquel always pays in cash.
26:21Mirabelle, you're a genius.
26:24Yeah, I am.
26:25Alligators don't sit there trying to get to know me, and that's fine because the feeling is mutual.
26:32Fascinating.
26:33But what I asked you ten minutes ago is if you've ever been asked to do something in your line of work that wasn't, how do I put it, in the spirit of the law.
26:45The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
26:55And yet, I still feel you miss my meaning.
27:00Jed, I've been looking for you.
27:02The shrimp fountain's running low if you wouldn't mind.
27:05To be continued.
27:06To be continued.
27:13What was that all about?
27:14What would Norma do?
27:17The truth is, she'd have Pinky killed.
27:20That's what she would do.
27:22Ay, Dios mio, Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn.
27:25You were not checking to see if Jed is willing to kill Pinky.
27:30Of course not.
27:31I may have been simply circling the rim of the bowl in the general vicinity of that kind of thinking, but...
27:35Oh, no, look at me.
27:36You're not a killer.
27:38You're not like that.
27:39How do you know I'm not?
27:40I certainly don't want to know that.
27:41Fine, then.
27:42I'll just solve all our problems by myself, dear husband, and you don't have to know anything about anything.
27:46I'll do all the work, and you can keep your pretty conscience clean, just like Douglas.
27:49That isn't fair.
27:50Well, marriage isn't fair.
27:52I'll be the Maxine to your Dougly-doo-dah.
27:55Where are you going?
27:56You don't want to know.
27:59I need a huge favor from you, sis.
28:02Sure.
28:03Anything.
28:03I need to let Evelyn know that Pinky and Raquel have been cooking the books, but I can't have Virginia see me leave.
28:09So, I need you to pretend to be me.
28:12Classic switcheroo.
28:13Yes.
28:14Okay, here's the plan.
28:15I need you to wash the car, but in a real, I'm washing a car kind of way.
28:20I know how to do that.
28:22Great.
28:26Get to washing.
28:27Sponges are in the garage.
28:31Sneaky tunnel stairway passage.
28:33God, I love this house.
28:35I want to tell you all a story about a Harper Valley widowed wife
28:44Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High.
28:52Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play.
29:00And she said,
29:03Mama got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.
29:07Well, the note said that Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dress is way too high.
29:16It's reported you've been drinking and a running round with men and going wild.
29:26And we don't believe you ought to be a bringing up your little girl this way.
29:32And it was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley PTA.
29:40My life is a goddamn mess.
29:44Well, hi, stranger.
29:45I just can't take this shit anymore.
29:48Pinky, Mitzi.
29:50It's a fucking Russian mole in the middle of Palm Beach.
29:53God, how did we get involved in such dangerous nonsense?
29:56Did you do something different with your hair?
30:11Why don't you come inside for a drink?
30:13You look like you could use one.
30:15So I have a plan.
30:17It's a very simple plan.
30:21Do you want to hear it?
30:23Huh?
30:23Yeah, of course I do.
30:25We run away together.
30:27You and me.
30:31Okay, tell me more.
30:34No, I mean it, Max.
30:35I can't keep stringing Pinky along waiting for the feds to find some big Russian.
30:40This isn't Douglas.
30:41We told you to reroute to Charlotte.
30:43Where the hell are you going?
30:44Why are you not rerouting to Charlotte?
30:45This isn't that kind of pressure.
30:47As your, um, ex-wife,
30:51you should know that, uh,
30:53I have a plan to fix all this.
30:55An ex-wife plan.
30:58But, sugar,
31:01I can't tell you about it because
31:02we're divorced.
31:05God, I left the woman that I love,
31:08a woman who would protect me
31:09from some homicidal Cuban mobster
31:12for someone who just bitches at me all the time
31:15and makes me feel like a complete dunderhead.
31:19You're not a dunderhead.
31:22Wow, this is the good stuff.
31:24It, it's just...
31:26I know, marry Mitzi,
31:28have the baby,
31:29get the money.
31:32Yes.
31:33Well, that's exactly what I was gonna say.
31:37And then maybe,
31:39maybe then we can get back together.
31:43We can share some of that money
31:45with a long-lost relative
31:47we don't even know exists.
31:49Someone who's a real gas.
31:52Grubby chick.
31:53You, you would take me back
31:54after everything that I've done?
31:56Baby steps, Douglas.
31:59Baby steps.
32:00Cherry?
32:02You go back with Mitzi
32:03and let me,
32:06Maxine,
32:07think.
32:13Mmm.
32:14Letter D.
32:16For Douglas.
32:24That's a matter of nothing.
32:53Tom?
33:09Oh, excuse me.
33:14Mr. Diaz, can I help you?
33:23I wanted to see you because I needed to say I'm sorry.
33:30I was completely out of line yesterday.
33:35Is it someone's birthday?
33:37Am I interrupting something?
33:38Everyone's celebrating.
33:40A routine traffic stop just netted one of America's most wanted.
33:43Who?
33:45Your prince.
33:47He had broken parole and was on his way out of town.
33:50Lucky break.
33:50And now I've been told to interrogate him.
33:55Is that bad?
33:56With what he knows, he'll either blackmail me or serve me up to my bosses.
34:00Either way, he walks in, I'm done.
34:02I'm so sorry.
34:03I was just trying to tell him how important you are to me.
34:08Now he knows.
34:11By the way, he had this in his suitcase.
34:18Yeah.
34:18Nice company you keep.
34:33You're an absolute mastermind.
34:35The IRS is a whole different branch of the government.
34:38If we can get him with this, we don't have to wait for the FBI to build their case.
34:41It's worth a shot.
34:42Yes.
34:43You're sure you want to retry every single pair?
34:47Well, you're the one who said fashion is all.
34:51How are we going to prove tax evasion?
34:53Become CPAs overnight?
34:55We have to find out where they keep their books.
34:57Any records they may have.
34:59Well, oh, that's Pinky.
35:01That's Pinky himself.
35:02He's the bookkeeper.
35:03What?
35:03Wait, what time is it?
35:04Oh, uh, it's 1.30.
35:07Eddie says Pinky always takes his fits between 2 and 3.
35:09That means he's naked.
35:10That means he won't have the ledger.
35:14It's 1970, Graiman.
35:15Gloves are out.
35:20I don't know what I'm talking about, but I don't know.
35:23So you two are trying to sell us out to Hoover himself, huh?
35:27You will never learn who I've been working for.
35:30You better watch where you're pointing that thing.
35:33I've been trying to redecorate.
35:35I've finally figured what this place needs.
35:39A spray of Russian red.
35:47Then I got three words for you.
35:50Wah, wah, wah.
35:54What are you?
35:55A baby?
35:56A baby?
35:56A baby?
35:56A baby?
35:58There's always a joker in the past.
36:11There's always a lonely time.
36:15The poor laughing fool bars on his face.
36:19And everyone laughs when he's down.
36:22There's always a funny man in the games.
36:27But he's only funny by mistake.
36:31But I got him just the same.
36:35They don't see the lonely hot days.
36:39They don't care if there is action.
36:43The poor is just as foolish as he can be.
36:49There's always a joker that's a rule.
36:53But faith is a hand and I see the joker is me.
37:01There's always a funny man in the games.
37:02But he's only funny by mistake.
37:06But there's always a funny man in the games.
37:15But he's only funny by mistake.
37:22There's always a funny man in the game
37:27But he's only funny by mistake
37:30But there's one lock at him just the same
37:35They don't see his lonely heartbreak
37:52The Joker is me
37:59The Joker is me
38:04The Joker is me
38:22Maxine, wait
38:24You're not allowed in here
38:25No, it's okay, Jedabadiah
38:26This woman from here on in, you treat like a queen
38:29Let's hit the steam rooms
38:30Oh, shh, it's Douglas
38:36Douglas
38:37You're here?
38:42Yes
38:42Don't ask me why, but
38:46We need you to go into the steam room
38:48The steam room?
38:50Yes, listen
38:51Pinky's in there
38:52And I need you to keep him in there
38:53As long as possible, please
38:54This is all part of your plan
38:58Oh
38:59Yes
39:01My plan
39:02Sure
39:03Okay
39:05Well, go get to Schwitzing
39:07Thank you
39:08Thank you
39:09Oh
39:10Just sit in here
39:16Pinky
39:20Doug
39:21Love all the steam, huh?
39:24They say it's good for the privates
39:27You know, for the purposes of baby making
39:29Well, wait, you're not leaving already, are you?
39:35Pinky, a man of your stature
39:38And an international man of mystery
39:40And a family man on top of all that
39:43I've been meaning to ask if you have any advice for someone like me
39:48Hmm, of course
39:51What, what, what?
40:02There's still two in there
40:03Wait, I know
40:06Did you call Eddie?
40:08No, no, no, no
40:09Eddie has made it perfectly clear
40:10He doesn't want anything to do with any of my innovations
40:13Well, you tell Eddie he is involved in this whether he likes it or not
40:16No, I will not
40:17Oh
40:18There is a lesson that I have learned the hard way
40:22In marriage, you cannot keep things from each other
40:25Oh
40:26You, you can't pile secret upon secret
40:29Because it makes you grow farther and farther apart
40:32And then
40:34One day, it's, it's normal
40:37That distance
40:39The next thing you know, he's
40:42He's having an affair
40:44Quite well taken
40:46Well, have you tried using raisins?
40:50I, I never thought of using raisins
40:51Just try using, let's go
40:54It stinks of you
40:57Do you know a mistake that many men make?
41:27trading in their wives.
41:31That was your mistake.
41:33That is why you are where you are.
41:36I, for one, would never trade in my wife.
41:39I cherish that guy.
41:41A protector.
41:43Loyalty.
41:45At all costs.
41:47No?
41:55Maxine, we need to talk.
41:57Maxine!
42:06Yes, hello?
42:07Robert, darling.
42:11Norma, where are you?
42:15How are you?
42:16I have two questions for you, Robert.
42:19First, why is my beloved home being turned into a tacky nightclub?
42:25Maxine made a deal with Pinky so she could save Douglas.
42:30She had no choice, Norma.
42:31Robert, did you tell Maxine my little secret?
42:34Yes, I'm sorry.
42:36I know.
42:37I can forgive you anything, my love.
42:41It's Maxine who is going to pay.
42:48Maxine!
42:48Is there something you want to tell me?
42:52Norma's alive.
42:53Yeah.
42:54So you know Maxine didn't kill her.
42:56Yeah, I've been listening.
42:57I traced everything.
42:58Norma is in Palm Beach.
42:59Look, we got to find Maxine.
43:01She's in grave danger.
43:02Well, not only Maxine.
43:05I think there's someone else you need to meet.
43:07Maxine, we are sure happy to have you.
43:37You must be here for afternoon tea.
43:40No, I actually, I just can't.
43:42Now, would you like the caviar service or the pastry tower?
43:57Both.
43:59As you wish.
44:07So, you did it.
44:24Oh.
44:26Hello.
44:27Would you like to join me?
44:30Caviar?
44:32Cream puffs?
44:33I love the way that you love things.
44:42You and I, we make a great team.
44:45And you are an amazing woman.
44:47And I just don't think I have ever seen you look so beautiful.
44:52You are the only man that I will ever love.
45:11You and I, we make a great team.
45:12I love you.
45:13Really?
45:14Mm-hmm.
45:15I just said it last night.
45:23Would you...
45:25Want to go somewhere more private?
45:29When the smile is warm, and the kiss is warm, and it warms you through and through, all they want to hear it.
45:43Music, how the darndest things are makin'
45:47Music, how your happy heart is makin'
45:51Music, how, and should they ask you the meaning there are?
45:59Spoons make music, the dish make music, the kettle boiling, the fish make music, most anything that you wish make music.
46:11The nanny girl cools like a dove when you're in love.
46:21Music, what are you guys doing here?
46:25Maxine.
46:26Oh, Maxine, thank God.
46:27It's Norma.
46:28She's in Palm Beach.
46:30Cromany.
46:30Look, we gotta get you to a safe house now.
46:32No, no, no, Melissa, well, okay, well, we gotta go to the Delacorte first.
46:35I gotta get Mirabelle.
46:35We were just at the Delacorte.
46:36She's not there.
46:37What?
46:38Mirabelle can't be trusted, Maxine.
46:41Of course she can be trusted.
46:42What are you saying?
46:43She's my twin.
46:44Maxine, how was the caviar?
46:46Oh, delicious.
46:48What?
46:51Caviar.
46:54She's here.
46:56Raquel, my love!
47:02Raquel!
47:05Raquel!
47:07Where are you?
47:12My love!
47:13What did I do?
47:14What?
47:15It's you, my love.
47:15It's you.
47:16Oh, my!
47:17What did I do?
47:18What did I do?
47:19Don't move.
47:20Don't move.
47:20Don't move.
47:20Who did this to you?
47:21Maxine!
47:23Oh, maldita puta!
47:24I'm going to break my mouth!
47:26Maxine!
47:28No one does this to me!
47:29No one does this to me!
47:31Winky!
47:32Hey!
47:32I'm sorry.
47:35I don't know.
47:36You look so beautiful, mi amor.
47:39I'm sorry.
47:39I don't know.
47:41I don't know.
47:41I don't know.
47:42I don't know.
47:43I don't know.
47:43I don't know.
47:44That was really something.
47:47It was...
47:48A little confusing at times, but...
47:51Oh!
47:55You're welcome, stranger.
48:01God, I love you.
48:05I am...
48:07so happy...
48:09to hear that.
48:15Okay, well...
48:17I am sure that Mitzi's wondering where I am, I should...
48:21Okay, bye!
48:35Hey, you.
48:37Oh.
48:39Uh...
48:41I see us.
48:47Maribel.
48:57Did you come here to steal my life and money?
49:01Robert told me everything.
49:03He has a mugshot of you,
49:05and you have a record?
49:07Petty thieving, and identity theft,
49:09and I haven't always been on the right side of the law.
49:13I think that's been established.
49:15There was no grift.
49:23Oh, a man,
49:25a very handsome gay man with muscles in places I didn't know existed,
49:29approached me,
49:31and told me I had a sister in Palm Beach,
49:33and that he would pay me to meet her.
49:35All I had to do was get here,
49:37and wait for instructions.
49:39But the instructions never came.
49:41I never heard from the man again.
49:43And there I was,
49:45lonesome old me in my motel,
49:47and I just thought,
49:49I want to find her anyway.
49:51I wanted to find my sister.
49:55Oh.
49:57I got you this.
49:59Panky's leisure?
50:09How did you get this?
50:11I just dusted off my karate chop.
50:15There's something else.
50:17You know how you said you would only ever love Doug?
50:29Well, I went the extra mile,
50:31and confirmed
50:33that he still loves you too.
50:37And he will forever.
50:39And I really,
50:41really,
50:45really,
50:47really know this.
50:53You didn't,
50:55you didn't sleep with Douglas, did you?
50:57I can't deny that our privates became acquainted.
51:03Oh, gosh.
51:07You're not mad, are you?
51:09Um,
51:11I think this is gonna have to be a
51:13longer conversation.
51:16It's a yes or no question.
51:18I gotta, uh,
51:20get this to someone.
51:22Uh,
51:23time's of the essence.
51:25What?
51:26Where are you going?
51:30Or I'll just wait here by the pool.
51:32Oh,
51:34shit.
51:54Oh, how delightful to know.
51:56I'll walk this into your office tomorrow.
51:58Apparently, the IRS is already onto them.
52:02And this little book is just the piece of hard evidence they need.
52:06They'll be moving against Pinky in the next few days.
52:08Oh, yes.
52:09And then we can run Palm Beach.
52:11Just us ladies.
52:12Night-night, pals.
52:13Good night.
52:14Just us ladies?
52:18Maybe there's a new side of me.
52:22One you don't like.
52:24I don't know.
52:26I hope not.
52:27Come here.
52:28Come here.
52:42I'll see you back at home.
52:43I have to finish up here.
52:44Uh-huh.
52:45Yeah.
52:46Come here.
52:54Look, we gotta get to the someplace safe.
52:55I know of a motel in West Palm Beach,
52:57but I think you guys are blowing this whole normal thing out of proportion.
53:00We need to be more worried about what Maxine's sister had planned.
53:03Okay, wait, wait, wait.
53:05Look, I don't care who or what she's done.
53:08It doesn't feel right leaving her here.
53:31Maxine.
53:38This fucking bitch.
54:08We'll see you next time.
54:11Go to局.
54:13I'll see you next time.
54:15Bye.
54:16Bye.
54:17Bye.
54:18Bye.
54:19Bye.
54:20Bye.
54:22Bye.
54:38Transcription by CastingWords
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