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00:00Dream season.
00:17After going almost entirely winless the year before,
00:21this year, we went undefeated.
00:2424 wins, 0 losses, a perfect season,
00:27and a no-show record.
00:28Then things got even better.
00:31We made our bid for the National Senior Tournament,
00:33and we got it.
00:35The best hockey teams in Canada coming here
00:38to play for the national title against you in Sudbury.
00:42Let's set the fucking tone!
00:44After our perfect regular season,
00:46it appeared the table was set.
00:48We would win the no-show playoffs
00:49and then move on to the National Senior Tournament.
00:52But the playoffs didn't go as planned.
00:58Got a boat to England, baby, maybe to Spain
01:06Wherever I have gone, wherever I've been and gone
01:13Wherever I have gone, the blues run the game
01:18Send out for a whiskey, baby
01:25Send out for a gin
01:27Me and room service, honey
01:30Me and room service, mama
01:33Me and room service, we are living a life of sin
01:37When I'm not sleeping, honey
01:44You are on my mind
01:46When I'm not sleeping, honey
01:50I ain't sleeping, mama
01:52When I ain't sleeping
01:54You know you'll find me crying
01:57Oh, for my sake
02:02Please hold up
02:06What the fuck is this loser?
02:17What can we say, boys?
02:33Nothing worse than losing to the Yanks
02:35In our own fucking barn
02:36Especially in our own barn
02:37I know what to say for the best, Boz
02:39Maybe there ain't no best to it
02:42But just because we lost
02:43doesn't mean this shouldn't be a game stick
02:45Kitty, you played through a separated shoulder
02:50Dolo, foot fracture
02:52Never see a team so hurt as this by Lord Jesus
02:54Fish, you came back from a skate laceration to the neck
02:57Shorzy
03:01You came back from a concussion in the first round
03:05And you played through a torn groin and a hip pointer
03:08What happens with a hip pointer?
03:10Can't push when you shit
03:11You were the leader this team needed
03:13Shorzy
03:16Game stick goes to you, my man
03:19Be proud, Shorzy
03:25Chin up, buddy
03:26We got latte and coke, my friend
03:28Jesus Christ, we nearly had him
03:29Latte and coke
03:30What is it, my dude?
03:35I brought you guys in
03:38Because everybody was acting like bitches
03:41And now you're all acting like bitches too
03:45Okay, that's unfair, Shorzy
03:46Shut the fuck up, Michaels
03:47We just lost to the eggs
03:49You're all acting like you want to eat each other's pussies
03:52Moment up
03:53Like you're opening a second bottle of wine with your gal pal
03:57My son?
03:58I don't want to fucking lift my head right now
03:59You're probably all giving each other's ski pools
04:02Ski pools?
04:05Come on, Shorzy, say something positive
04:07Fucking Summerfeld's dog
04:08Mom wasn't licking her lips at me all fucking night for once
04:11Okay
04:12Fucking Brinksy's fat sister isn't looking as ugly as what she tried to fuck me two years ago
04:17Shorzy
04:17Fucking Michael's ex-sweetie flashed me her bird and I thought it was an accident
04:21But now I don't think it was
04:22Hey!
04:23What about Phillips?
04:23He had the game of his life
04:25Who?
04:26Phillips
04:26That's Phillip
04:28No, it isn't
04:29What do you think that is?
04:30I don't fucking know
04:31Shorzy, the boys are hurt
04:32It's fucking hockey!
04:33You go to it, you can't go no more!
04:37Pop!
04:44Well, hello, Bali, boys
04:45Let's get drunk
04:46Wait, how drunk?
04:49Like no-show record party drunk?
04:56I don't think we should get that drunk again
04:58It's been long enough, you should go say something
05:05This is unfortunate, pathetic
05:13A real cunt
05:16We're hosting the National Senior Tournament in a week
05:19We're beat up from the feet up
05:20Seven days rest can go a long way
05:22We're supposed to be there because we're the best team
05:24Now we're only there because we're the host team
05:26So the host team gets in automatically
05:27Look at it as good fortune
05:28We're the team that gets in on a formality
05:30We're throw-ins
05:31Doesn't matter how you get to the dance
05:32You just gotta get there
05:33We're filler
05:34Reloaders
05:35Nat
05:35When they see the Sudbury guys
05:37Do you think anyone's gonna look at them and say
05:38Uh-oh
05:39Won't get any respect?
05:41Sometimes you have to demand it
05:42Yo, last year we wanted to win one game
05:45This year we won them all
05:47Now we have a chance to win the whole country
05:49Cash in
05:50We've got a week to get these guys over this loss
05:53And refocus for the National Senior Tournament
05:55We've gotta get him healed
05:57Thank fuck there won't be much fighting
05:59I don't know
06:00There may be a national title on the line
06:01But it's still senior whale shit hockey
06:03Seriously
06:04Nat, at least go check on Shorzy
06:06Yeah, ask him when he's gonna start chipping in on the score sheet
06:08He always finds a way to contribute
06:10He can't handle losing
06:11Show me someone who can handle losing
06:13And I'll show you a loser
06:14Let's get these guys drunk
06:18Wait
06:20How drunk?
06:22Yeah
06:22No show record party drunk?
06:30I don't think they should get that drunk again
06:32The sky is falling
06:34As soon as we touch the ground
06:37I can't feel my pain
06:53You boys want to give it a hoist?
07:14Because I'm going to remind you of the good old days
07:15Good he couldn't if he wanted to
07:17All right, that's enough
07:18Won't let you drink out of it
07:20But why don't you come give it a kiss
07:22Drink your beer
07:24I'll go get the bouncers
07:25They don't need them
07:26Come on over boys
07:27Give it a kiss
07:28Let's keep it classy
07:29Can't wait to rip a snooter off this thing
07:31Come on, kiss it
07:33Fuckin' boys
07:39So runner up
07:39Here he is
07:42Here we go
07:43Here we go
07:44Here we go
07:44Here we go
07:44What's that you were saying about respect against me?
07:48Sometimes you have to
07:49It's pathetic
07:49What's wrong with it?
07:51I'm fuckin' hurt
07:52Oh, I'm fuckin' real hurt
07:55Your head?
07:55No
07:56Your hand?
07:57No
07:57My heart
08:00Are you hurt or are you injured?
08:01We're the fuckin' teenage mutant injured turtles
08:04You gotta leave it behind you, my guy
08:05Game 7
08:06In our barn
08:07You focus
08:08We're going to the National Senior Tournament
08:11Yeah, it's fuckin' honorable mentions
08:12Tick-knocker
08:13There's runner-ups
08:14Runners up
08:15There's the guys who didn't earn it
08:17It's embarrassing
08:18You need to break me, son
08:20After that hit you took in the first round
08:23You should be out four to six weeks, all man
08:25Four to six?
08:26Four to six, moment on
08:27Just cause I can't push when I shit
08:28You think it's four to six?
08:29Settle down
08:30What are you even doing?
08:31Looking at girls on the internet
08:32Why?
08:33Had a sec
08:34Goody's hurt worse than me
08:36Goody's not hurt so bad as the way you are
08:37He's got his arm in a sling
08:39It's a holster
08:40Goody's four to six
08:41Just cause I have my arm in this
08:42You think it's four to six?
08:43Zolo's hurt worse than Goody is
08:44Quoi?
08:45Takes you 20 minutes to get from the crapper to the couch, all man
08:48Toi, t'es en train de me dire
08:48Parce que je marche pas comme du monde
08:50Je suis four to six
08:50Doesn't matter, we're all fuckin' losers anyway
08:52Never see a team with so many injuries
08:54As despised by the large Jesus
08:56We're the tagalongs of the tournament
08:57Oh, nice work, sanguinette
09:00Now you've upset Big Sexy
09:02You wanna find out who's the most hurt?
09:03Go easy, Big Sexy
09:05Come where we're to
09:05We has a walk-in competition
09:07A walk-in competition?
09:09You says you're not hurt so bad as what he is
09:10Get control of your bird
09:12He says he's not hurt so bad as what you is
09:14You talk like a fuckin' idiot, eh?
09:16And you're hurt more bad than
09:17So come on over where we're to
09:19We has a walk-in competition
09:21And we finds out who's the most hurt
09:23Don't walk out on me, old man
09:26I'm takin' care of my bird
09:27Who do you think is the most hurt?
09:29Shorzy really got his bell rung in the first round
09:31He's fuckin' ghost the second round
09:33He got trucked
09:34Maybe it'll make him less stubborn
09:35Won't make him less stupid
09:36We ready?
09:37We're ready
09:38Let's get started
09:39Well, can I premise it by saying something first?
09:42Premise?
09:42Huh?
09:43What do you mean premise?
09:44Well, I wanna...
09:44It's like what premise?
09:46You tell us junk, eh?
09:47Preface?
09:48You wanna ruin a good piece of toast
09:49How do you...
09:51Well, you wants to say something before your walks, right?
09:53I was gonna say a few words, yeah
09:55Okay, well, you wants to preface it
09:56So, I meant to say preface
09:59But I said premise
10:00That's what you did, bud
10:02Oh, my God
10:03What an idiot, eh?
10:04Good thing no chick saw that
10:06Settle down
10:06I die, is it your butt?
10:08Well, I guess I'm going to preface my walk
10:11By saying
10:12I'm sure you've all noticed this before
10:14I have one leg shorter than the other
10:17By how much?
10:18By about two inches
10:19Two inches?
10:20Inch and a half, two inches, yeah
10:22No, but I never knew that, old man
10:23Well, I try not to make a big deal of it
10:25Try and let it get in my way
10:26Get me down
10:27But
10:28If you notice something in my walk
10:30It's probably that
10:31How is he?
10:32I don't have to talk
10:33While I'm doing it or anything, right?
10:34No, but
10:35Go
10:35You want me to rush you when you're walking?
10:40That's the poor, blue sky
10:41Let's have a little etiquette in here, boys
10:42A little sportsmanship here now
10:44Okay, now come back where we're to
10:54See, it's just a little slower than ordinary
10:57But that's probably the leg
10:59Which we've established
11:00Otherwise, there's really nothing out of the ordinary
11:03It's awesome
11:04Four to six
11:05Just because I can't push when I shit?
11:08You walk like you had your shit pushed
11:09But I knew you'd be looking four to six, but
11:11Who's up next?
11:14I didn't think you'd be looking that four to six
11:15Could we just keep this moving, please?
11:18Yes
11:18Teams for this year's National Senior Tournament are set
11:22Dynamite
11:23Against all odds, we'll have teams from all over Turtle Island
11:26Representing Western Canada, Eastern Canada, Quebec
11:29Northern Ontario, Southern Ontario, and us
11:31Six whole teams
11:33Why aren't the other provinces sending teams?
11:35Because it's senior whale shit hockey
11:36Up first, representing Western Canada
11:39From the province of Alberta
11:40Home of Treaty 6, 7, and 8
11:41The Brooks Berylmen
11:43From the heart of common country Canada
11:45For these guys, it's hockey all winter
11:47Rodeo all summer
11:48They're tie-down ropers
11:50Steer wrestlers
11:51And of course, bull and bronco riders
11:53You've got to be certifiable for that sport
11:55He's stupid tough
11:56According to the scouting report
11:57They kind of are
11:58Tough?
12:00Stupid
12:00How stupid?
12:02Time will tell
12:02If we're talking notable players
12:04We're talking the Freezer Twins
12:05A.K.A. the Freezer Twins
12:07Why Freezer?
12:07Because they're built like large appliances
12:09These guys played Team Canada Rugby for four years
12:12So needless to say
12:13They like to hit
12:14Keep your head up around these guys
12:18Or you know what'll happen
12:194 to 6
12:20I'll be to judge it at me, son
12:22Dolo, you're up
12:23Hold on
12:24Dre?
12:26What's sportsmanship in here, eh?
12:29Sorry, bye
12:29Let's let Dolo get focused for his walk here, boys
12:31I'm quiet in here now
12:32Well, who's looking 4 to 6 now?
12:50He's looking pretty 4 to 6
12:51Just because I don't walk like this man
12:52He can't really walk at all, bro
12:54It's hard to believe he's been doing it his whole life
12:57Let's get
12:57He's more 4 to 6 than sure, is he?
12:59Boys, we still don't really know who's the 4 to 6-iest
13:01Okay, who's next?
13:03Representing Eastern Canada from Prince Edward Island
13:06The Charlottetown Reds
13:07PEI
13:08Nygma Territory
13:08Not unlike folks from Newfoundland
13:10Prince Edward Islanders have some unique speech
13:13Example?
13:14Ever seen the Prince Edward Island Encyclopedia on YouTube?
13:16What's going on?
13:17I'll fucking flatten it, young buck
13:19I'm gonna come to your house and slam your fucking cupboards
13:21Nice kit bag there, big nuts
13:22I'll beat you like you're on a fishing trip with your father
13:24Easy there, George Clooney
13:26Where'd the cows die? Who the fuck are you?
13:28Must be in the fucking right here's mine
13:29Noted
13:31Most of these guys are commercial fishermen
13:32Out on the Atlantic for days on end
13:35Fishing for herring, mackerel, crab
13:37They know hard work
13:38But a handful of them are owners-operators of what many call
13:41The best seafood shack on Prince Edward Island
13:44Serving up fresh-shucked oysters
13:46Seafood chowder
13:48And their signature lobster rolls
13:51I'm hungry
13:52So who are we watching for?
13:54These guys play as a unit
13:55No one-man shows
13:57Beware, they're peddled to the rug for a full 60
14:00Hard fucking workers
14:02But a standout in another sense
14:05Would be the gorgeous gourd galant
14:07This guy makes panty soup
14:09Ew
14:09He soaks uggs
14:11Entering a dink phase, eh, Zeke?
14:13If you can resist them, you're doing well
14:14Up to the task?
14:15Probably just another Instagram doll in real life donkey
14:17When was the last time you dated a hockey player?
14:19You don't date sluts
14:21You just take them down
14:22Anything else?
14:23Aside from all of that, the word on these guys is that they're just really...
14:27Nice
14:29Nice?
14:31Nice
14:33That's fucking nice
14:35Holy
14:36Great
14:37Hold up
14:38You can walk more good than Dolo, but he's playing better
14:40Meh
14:41You gotta find a way to contribute
14:43Sanger, sit down and shut the fuck up
14:45What are you guys doing?
14:46Walkin' competition
14:47Walkin' competition?
14:48Walkin' competition?
14:49To find out who's hurt more bad than who
14:51Now you're up all man
14:53I don't know
14:54I don't know
14:55Fuck
14:56You think he'd be that good?
14:57They walkin'?
14:58Yep
14:59No
15:00Me neither
15:01They fall
15:02Me neither
15:03Now come back where we're to me, son
15:04Yep
15:12Yep
15:13Yep, he's good
15:14Impressionnant
15:15He walks good
15:16I've never seen anybody
15:17Sanger?
15:18Oh no
15:19Sanger?
15:20No no no
15:21He doesn't get to just... waltz in here
15:23And see who walks good
15:25Just get to walkin' goody
15:27Congratulations
15:28You have at least four to six
15:30Well Dolo?
15:31Catch?
15:32We're runner ups again
15:33up again runners up yep lost a no-show cup now we lost a walking competition may as well be eating
15:39solo paninis why we're fucking losers never seen a team with so many injuries as despised by lard
15:45jesus think anyone's gonna see the bulldogs and say uh-oh no fucking way want me to come
15:51over to your house slam your fucking doors c-key is what the key
16:03i think we're here welcoming you back to another edition of questionable call brought to you by
16:09bro dude energy with me as always our panelists jayon wright tessa bonhomme and the man they call
16:15r a mesdames et messieurs as you are well aware bro dude energy has been granted the exclusive
16:21broadcasting rights of the national senior hockey tournament in sudbury ontario can only imagine
16:26the cutthroat competition for that contract annick bet it was eye popping remember when we used to
16:31cover real hockey today we continue the breakdown of the participating teams starting with my home
16:36province la belle provence representing quebec at this year's tournament is les rapides the rotten
16:41quebec is home to the toughest league in hockey and make no mistake les rapides are the toughest
16:47Pierre-Luc Leblanc, Danique Paquette and Steve Bosse. Leblanc fought the toughest guys in the show when
16:52goons were still in the game. Maquette's face looks like it was carved out of wood if you think you
16:57recognize boss A from the youtube knockout videos you probably recognize him from the ufc as well
17:01he's 12-2-0 someone else fans may recognize is the team owner a quebec pop icon marie me the
17:07multi-platinum artist and keb darling is also a hockey fan one of the things worth mentioning to fans
17:13she was once engaged to jj frankie jj with the sudbury blueberry bulldog serving as the host team and the
17:19sous hunt representing northern ontario michigan baby we're left with one final entry representing
17:24southern ontario coming from the city with the most italian canadians per capita in the country
17:29the von canadesi can only imagine there are a few italians on the team annick actually j
17:35every single one ferrari ferrera ferraro barbieri barbario barbara tippeniditi diodato
17:43diaminico you get the idea these guys play the game hard fast and emotional so who are we looking for
17:49so who are we looking for annick number 98 marco silvestri sly silvestri what you know him i used to
17:55be in boston system for a while and he could pick the pursuit out of your teeth with his stick more of
18:00a pancetta guy so he loves the lumber oh he'll be the dirtiest player in the tournament good matchup
18:05for shorzy i'm hearing shorzy's hurt the man doesn't like to be outdone but does anyone really care we'll
18:11find out soon as the best teams in canada descend on sudbury today the best teams in canada in the
18:16sedbury mango malamutes oh you're hilarious liam things get rough just throwing your band-aids
18:20at them you too corey you're so funny squirting with some polysporum like the funniest guys who
18:24ever lived why aren't you laughing don't worry liam i don't laugh at your mom's jokes either and every
18:29time she's like what i'm funny i'll laugh at your mom's jokes either core and every time she's like
18:35be nice to me regular season league record only blow them playoffs must sting a little bit core any
18:41regrets my only regret is not serving my country oh yeah yeah and i think about it every time i go
18:46to war on your mom's ass you're awful shorzy fuck you fuck you shorzy fuck you liam better tell your
18:51mom to go get checked out i saw corey's mom last night now my dick feels like it ate a pack of holes
18:57clean it up yeah tell that to your mom core she climbed over my gear shift last night to hop on my
19:02wiener that thing still smells like shrimp scampi fuck you shorzy fuck you liam every time i hit your
19:07mom from the back it sounds like someone running in flip-flop fuck you corey i got your mom on speed
19:13dial and liam's mom blocked i don't know which one should be more embarrassed
19:37so
19:43so
19:47so
19:51so
20:59We've got a problem.
21:00Yeah, what's the problem, Sanguinette?
21:02You've lost your identity as hockey players.
21:07What?
21:07After that loss, you've forgotten what makes you unique as athletes of this sport.
21:15Well, Lord Jesus, I never see a team with so many injuries as this back.
21:18No excuses.
21:19But...
21:20Hockey players don't make excuses.
21:22You play for the logo on the front, not the name on the back.
21:25You play for your city and for your teammates.
21:27You win for them.
21:29No excuses.
21:30You can barely walk.
21:35I can barely lift my arm.
21:36Never let them know you're hurt.
21:39You're the leaders of this team, and look at you.
21:41One's in a sling, one's limping around.
21:43You're crying about being cold.
21:46Look at your balls that tug.
21:47You're hockey players.
21:49Never let them know you're hurt.
21:50Georgie, you're the captain of this team.
21:56Why do we lose to the Yanks?
21:58No excuses.
21:59You hurt?
22:00Go to you can't go no more.
22:02Then why are you all like...
22:03We didn't earn it.
22:08Doesn't matter how you get to the dance.
22:09You just gotta get there.
22:10Yeah, and then what, Sanguinette?
22:12Then...
22:12Huh?
22:15Find that fuck you attitude.
22:16You went down to the Yanks.
22:21Took them seven games, but you lost.
22:23You're right.
22:25Maybe you shouldn't be here.
22:27But you can't look at the rear view and the road at the same time.
22:31You're the best team in the history of the no-show.
22:34You're record holders.
22:3624 wins, zero losses.
22:38A perfect season.
22:41So you've got two options.
22:43You can sit around and cry about losing to the Yanks in the playoffs.
22:47Or find that fuck you attitude and beat them on the national stage.
22:53Shorzy.
22:54Think you can find it?
22:59Is that the runner-up section?
23:02Well, we'll sit over here then.
23:04Pretty quiet over there for once, Shorzy.
23:06All right.
23:07Having a cry?
23:08I get it, bud.
23:09Life's tough.
23:10Want to talk?
23:11Easy, fellas.
23:12Where's the fucking barmaid?
23:14Yeah, send the barmaid over to the winner's section when she's done the runner-ups.
23:25Runners up.
23:29What?
23:30Runners up.
23:32What's he saying?
23:33It's runners up.
23:34Not runner-ups.
23:36Dumb fucking cunts.
23:38Call out what you want, bud.
23:39You're tossing.
23:40You're fucking extras.
23:41Ton of hockey left, boys.
23:43Ton of hockey left.
23:44Fuck you.
23:45Fuck you.
23:46Found it.
23:46Shut the fuck up, Delaney, you fucking cokehead.
23:48What are you going to do?
23:49You've done too many speedballs, bud.
23:51Piece of shit.
23:52Fuck you, man.
23:52What's that you were saying about respect against me?
23:55Sometimes you have to demand it.
23:56What are you going to do?
23:57You're in a sling, goodie.
23:58Come here and find out.
24:00What are you going to do?
24:00No, fine.
24:01You're not going to fucking do anything.
24:03Won't see much fighting in this tournament, eh, not?
24:05Let's fucking see it.
24:06Think we have a chance of winning this thing?
24:08They look ready to me.
24:09Let's talk, let's go.
24:11Come on.
24:11What are you going to do?
24:12Are you going to do something?
24:13Hold on, hockey, baby.
24:15Is that the Sudbury guys?
24:17Yeah.
24:19Uh-oh.
24:19Yeah.
24:38We're on our list.
24:38We have our prop, number 10.
24:40We rap la guille, la fleur de lisse.
24:43Yeah.
24:44The 4th in Swiss, Dunlard de l'Est.
24:46I've put Montreal on the list.
24:48And that's why they call me.
24:49Hometown hero.
24:51I'm talking to a Jewel, but I'm counting on euros.
24:53I'm in the plane, it's showtime.
24:54The guys are hot, even the other side they know.
24:57Sold our venues.
24:58Back then, we'd like to go to the metro.
25:01Now they're going to roll the tape, they're rouge,
25:02as soon as we get back to us.
25:04Hometown hero.
25:06Hometown hero.
25:07Hometown hero.
25:10No doubt, they know.
25:12Parlons de l'art.
25:13Comptons neuro.
25:15Hometown hero.
25:17Hometown hero.
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