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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi.
00:00:23Just play him on.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:30Hey!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03Okay.
00:01:04I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:08Oh, my.
00:01:09I just need my book.
00:01:10I don't want you to stop.
00:01:12I don't want you to stop.
00:01:15I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:45Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how.
00:01:56Just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:31Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:49But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:29I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Tammy!
00:03:49Yo!
00:03:49What?
00:03:57Tammy!
00:03:57Yo!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:02No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry!
00:04:07Your fit Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:16I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:21Why does it feel so familiar?
00:04:27Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:38See, I knew you were the new daddy we hired, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:42What's your name?
00:04:43Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:28And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:29so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:32So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:48Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:04This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures.
00:06:07You're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18You're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18Touching.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41I think we got it.
00:06:43Oh, I need some photos of us together, too,
00:06:46to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah, of course.
00:07:01Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:13Bad news, boss.
00:07:14The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:16to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:20Then who is...
00:07:22Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:27It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:40Okay, well...
00:07:42I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:45Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:50in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It will make it more believable.
00:07:56Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, I think that one.
00:08:14Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:16Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So, when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:52Oh, so, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice in front of them.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:06Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:11And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14This is strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:19What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:39I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:45and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:47and I don't want your money.
00:09:49Attention, shoppers.
00:09:51All bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies.
00:09:58Did I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:01Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:06You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah.
00:10:07Just these things.
00:10:07Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500, get 10% off,
00:10:13and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:16Oh, great.
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:20Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah.
00:10:28Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:34I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:53Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:56You can just set those on top.
00:10:57Hi, guys.
00:11:03I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:17Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:18Just to give it away.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:23What?
00:11:29Do you do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:36We should go.
00:11:37We got to pick up paper.
00:11:42Sit, watch out.
00:11:53You done feeling me up?
00:12:04Shut up.
00:12:05Oh, sorry.
00:12:06I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:08Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:15And don't be late.
00:12:16Harrison Group?
00:12:29Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:33Not that I'm judging.
00:12:34I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:39Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:43I think that's respectable.
00:12:44Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:53So, it's perfect.
00:12:58Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:04I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:14Let's go, Sam.
00:13:30It's time to check out the new HQ site.
00:13:33Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:37It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's.
00:13:41Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:44Hey, there they are!
00:14:01Hey!
00:14:02That's Megan!
00:14:03Oh, dad.
00:14:05So much you made it.
00:14:06Oh, I missed you.
00:14:08So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:12He's coming.
00:14:14Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:16Good, good, good.
00:14:18So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:21When's he arriving?
00:14:23Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:28Not surprising.
00:14:30I mean, she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:35Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:40This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:44Auntie Pamela?
00:14:45Debbie?
00:14:46My dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:49We're only worried about you.
00:14:51All these years without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:55You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:59And look what happened.
00:15:00She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:04I'm not alone.
00:15:05Mm-hmm.
00:15:06And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:12He's a manager.
00:15:14Manager of what?
00:15:16Trash.
00:15:18Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:22You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:25Actually, he's right here.
00:15:31Oh, wow.
00:15:33Wow.
00:15:34He is really good looking.
00:15:37Ah, must be AI.
00:15:39Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:43Fake.
00:15:44That's enough.
00:15:45She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:48Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
00:15:54him down?
00:15:55Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:59Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:02That's half a million.
00:16:04Half a million.
00:16:06Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:09And speak of the devil.
00:16:15Willie, you've made it.
00:16:18There you are.
00:16:29Oh, look at you now.
00:16:31Living the dream.
00:16:33Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:35Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal
00:16:39waste manager.
00:16:41So married, huh?
00:16:43Is it serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:46It's pretty serious.
00:16:47Well, you must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:52Makes sense, though.
00:16:53You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:56Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:59Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:02Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:05That's right.
00:17:07Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:10Women love a man in red.
00:17:13Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:15When I sit on my lap, don't touch me.
00:17:19Oh, so entitled.
00:17:21Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:25And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:29I mean, look at that car.
00:17:32Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:35Think of the life I can give you on Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:38Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:42I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:51My mom would never marry.
00:17:52She already has a husband.
00:17:53He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:55Is that so?
00:18:00Well, then, where is he?
00:18:03Because I don't see him.
00:18:04Does anyone see him?
00:18:08No.
00:18:09Just like I thought.
00:18:11Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:14That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:15And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:22Mommy.
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:24Are you okay?
00:18:25See your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:27I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:29Come on, now.
00:18:30Let's go.
00:18:32What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:37Oh, my God.
00:18:38Let me go.
00:18:40Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:45Let me go.
00:19:00Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:08Max, you came.
00:19:09Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:13Where's Piper?
00:19:15William Hitter.
00:19:17Mom, deadhead take her inside.
00:19:19Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:21Well, well, well.
00:19:23If it isn't a waste marriage or I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:27That's right.
00:19:29Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:32Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:36I'm Max.
00:19:37Eva told us all about you.
00:19:39From New York.
00:19:40Polite.
00:19:41Handsome.
00:19:42Just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:47He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:52Son of a bitch.
00:19:54You just ruined my suit.
00:19:55And watch the way that you drive that pristine automobile.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:01Oh, my God.
00:20:02That's worth more than a house.
00:20:04That car?
00:20:05It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:10Wait.
00:20:11Are you?
00:20:12Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:20And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:22I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:24You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:26You stole it.
00:20:27That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:29Jesus.
00:20:30How did he get away with it?
00:20:32That's what I want to know.
00:20:34Enough.
00:20:35Please.
00:20:35I trust my daughter.
00:20:39She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:42Max, be honest with me.
00:20:45Where did that car come from?
00:20:47How much did you want for it?
00:20:49I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:52So?
00:20:54You need a breath, man.
00:20:58Hey, attention.
00:20:58I'm calling the cops.
00:20:59Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:01Wait.
00:21:02What?
00:21:04Are you feeling nervous?
00:21:05Oh, well.
00:21:08Too late.
00:21:15Listen, hon.
00:21:16I believe you.
00:21:18But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:23It's my car.
00:21:24Okay?
00:21:25It's not stolen.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:29Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:32Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:34Okay.
00:21:34I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have to get lost.
00:21:38And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:41Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:43Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:45Loser!
00:21:46Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:49Jesus.
00:21:49I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:51I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:53I will give him a real reason.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though
00:21:58Here title and proof of ownership
00:22:08Sir
00:22:10Harrison
00:22:12Mr. Harrison
00:22:16Mr. Harrison
00:22:18Mr. Harrison
00:22:20Merry Christmas, Willie. Now get the fuck out of here before I kicked your ass all the way up to the North Pole
00:22:26Yes, sir. I'm so sorry, sir. I-I-Please accept my serious apologies
00:22:40Oh
00:22:42That William what a jerk, huh? He fooled me. What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays. Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh, come on, Eva. We were just looking out for you. Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison
00:22:59You know my youngest son is graduating soon. Do you think that
00:23:04You could help him get his foot in the door? A job at the Harrison group even in the mail room would open doors
00:23:11We are family, aren't we? Family takes care of each other
00:23:14If you guys want a job at the Harrison group, you can put in an application like everyone else
00:23:20Happy Gail, come on. Talk to her for us
00:23:24Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:27Yeah, I think you need to take care of your own issues first. My daughter is just far too busy for your best life
00:23:33For my new son-in-law
00:23:35Come on guys, let's go in. Welcome to the family
00:23:39Welcome. Come on in. Come on in. Come on in.
00:23:47This is your fault, Pam. You can't tell the difference between A.I. and reality.
00:23:53My fault. You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:57Hey, how do you have that car? And how do you know the CEO of Harrison group? And how do you-
00:24:13I told you, I work for Harrison group, remember?
00:24:15I have a friend in high places
00:24:17A friend who just hands you keys to million dollar one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:22Yes. It's the season of giving. He knows people. Has connections. He's a big deal kind of guy
00:24:29You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:31And you best not forget it, capiche?
00:24:33Oh my god, just don't blow your cover
00:24:37Dad! Mom! Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home
00:24:42Oh honey, we're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking
00:24:49I think they get it, huh?
00:24:52Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:54Oh, she's fine. One of you guys just get settled in and we will go check on her
00:24:59And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree
00:25:04Great!
00:25:05See you in a bit, Joey?
00:25:07What are you doing?
00:25:09Okay
00:25:11Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:15Relax. It was just a hug
00:25:20Ugh
00:25:22We just got here and I'm already exhausted
00:25:25You'll be okay
00:25:27It's just one week
00:25:28Kill me now
00:25:29Well, I would, but I need to get paid
00:25:32What are you doing?
00:25:37What are you doing?
00:25:39That's weird
00:25:40They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago
00:25:43I don't know, something just falls off
00:25:45That's ridiculous
00:25:47I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make out progress to prove it?
00:25:51I'll do this
00:25:52Mmmmm
00:25:53Later
00:25:55Let's go
00:25:57Here we go
00:26:02Piper is all tucked in, honey
00:26:05Everything looks amazing
00:26:06And happy holidays
00:26:08To the newest member of our family
00:26:10Max
00:26:11Oh
00:26:12Welcome
00:26:13Cheers
00:26:14Thank you, Ms. Smith
00:26:15Looks great
00:26:16Oh, just call me mom, honey
00:26:18I had no idea what you liked
00:26:20So I just whipped up a little bit of everything
00:26:22But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:26Mmm
00:26:28Oh, no
00:26:29Mom's testing him
00:26:30She's trying to see if he's legit
00:26:31You mean to tell me you two are married
00:26:33And you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:38Ow
00:26:39Eva, sweetie
00:26:41Kicking my foot
00:26:42Oh, sorry, mom
00:26:43I...
00:26:44Oh, jeez
00:26:45Oh, jeez
00:26:46It's okay
00:26:47Look, mom, of course he knows it's...
00:26:49I would like to hear Max say it
00:26:51I would like to hear Max say it
00:26:58Um...
00:27:05Twelve pumpkin pies, did I hear this right?
00:27:07They're the best kind
00:27:10Well, of course, it's pumpkin pie
00:27:12See?
00:27:13Are you happy now?
00:27:15That's good, but something still falls off
00:27:18Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:21We had a whirlwind romance
00:27:23And we eloped before we got to know everything about each other
00:27:26But our marriage is real
00:27:28I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows
00:27:32Ah, now those are quality
00:27:36Okay, well, then answer this
00:27:38Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:43Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:47I knew it was a good idea to pick this up
00:27:50Well, um, it's...
00:27:52Silly face, dropped it outside on the sidewalk
00:27:55Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her
00:27:58Silly face
00:28:01I am not paying extra for this
00:28:03Consider it a Christmas gift
00:28:04That's lousers
00:28:07That's nice
00:28:09You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:11Well, believe it or not, Ms. Smith
00:28:13There is a lot of garbage out there
00:28:15And I'm not just talking about William
00:28:18I'll drink to that
00:28:20I agree with you there
00:28:21So, come on guys, let's eat
00:28:30Thank you
00:28:31And this is where y'all will be staying
00:28:39I have another room set up for Piper
00:28:42Nice and festive for you
00:28:44No complications, right?
00:28:46Sorry, honey?
00:28:47Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight
00:28:50Oh, honey, newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart
00:28:55Oh, I just remembered
00:28:56The city's turning the water off at 10
00:28:58Something about water conservation
00:29:00That means you have 15 minutes to shower
00:29:0315 minutes?
00:29:05Honey, it's no big deal
00:29:06Just shower together
00:29:08Shower together?
00:29:09Shower together?
00:29:13Just shower together
00:29:14Okay, you guys have a good night, okay?
00:29:20You heard her
00:29:30Oh, wow!
00:29:44Why are you stripping?
00:29:46Well, I can't take a shower with your clothes on
00:29:49Come on, we're wasting time, you have 15 minutes
00:29:51Nice try, I am not showering with you
00:29:53All right, suit yourself
00:29:54More room for me in there
00:29:56Not if I meet you there first
00:29:58Come on, Max
00:29:59Get out of the way
00:30:00We agreed, nothing physical
00:30:01You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey
00:30:03Relax
00:30:04I won't touch you
00:30:05Unless you say you want me to
00:30:06But that'll cost extra
00:30:07But that'll cost extra
00:30:08Yeah
00:30:09Hmm
00:30:10Hmm
00:30:11Hmm
00:30:12Hmm
00:30:13Hmm
00:30:14Hmm
00:30:15Hmm
00:30:16Hmm
00:30:17In your dreams
00:30:26Free to join me
00:30:32Hmm
00:30:33Hmm
00:30:34Hmm
00:30:35Hmm
00:30:38Hmm
00:30:40Hmm
00:30:41Hmm
00:30:42Hmm
00:30:43Hmm
00:30:44Hmm
00:30:45You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:07You wish.
00:31:08Why don't you give in?
00:31:10Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:12It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:14Oh, yeah?
00:31:16Pray.
00:31:28Holy shit.
00:31:32Oh, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:37I'll say.
00:31:39What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:42Still think you can resist?
00:31:43Oh, baby.
00:31:46I don't think I want you.
00:31:52I shouldn't.
00:31:53Or maybe we should.
00:31:59God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:02Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:05Oh, we're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:23What?
00:32:24I didn't mean to cross anything.
00:32:26It's not you, Max.
00:32:27It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:28This is all an act.
00:32:29Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:32You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just need to be sorry.
00:32:38That birthmark.
00:32:47That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:53It's him.
00:32:56It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:57Is he Piper's father?
00:33:02Why are you acting?
00:33:04Oh, my God.
00:33:07Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah.
00:33:12I just, um, I just got lightheaded.
00:33:15I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:17Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:23We have a daughter together.
00:33:25Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:28What do I do?
00:33:28What do I do?
00:33:28What do I do?
00:33:28What do I do?
00:33:28What do I do?
00:33:30What do I do?
00:33:32What do I do?
00:33:34I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:36You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:40Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:46I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:48So if there's something you need,
00:33:49I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:53He's Piper's father.
00:33:54He has a right to know.
00:33:57Um, Max.
00:33:59How would you feel
00:34:01if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:04A child?
00:34:08No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:16I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:18Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:20and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:28I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:31Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason.
00:34:34Just curious.
00:34:36No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:42Well, then,
00:34:43can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:46Where did you get these?
00:34:53And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know where those came from.
00:34:59Are you sure you're just not trying to
00:35:01break the contract?
00:35:02Come on, come on, come on.
00:35:04Come on, come on.
00:35:06Come on.
00:35:06Come on.
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:18Elon,
00:35:19the truth is
00:35:21is that I
00:35:22go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:27Just a second.
00:35:28Come in.
00:35:30Hey, hon.
00:35:32Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:49You think you can take this one, Dad? We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:52I can see that.
00:35:54Well, why don't I read it to her? I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:58Well, that a boy. You know what? Just put a shirt on. I'm going to go get her.
00:36:03Piper! Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:08He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
00:36:15But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
00:36:19Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
00:36:24If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:30Good night, Piper.
00:36:35Is her dad still around?
00:36:37Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you are her dad.
00:36:42Uh, no.
00:36:43That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:48Do you really think so?
00:36:53From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:56Maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know.
00:37:05Max.
00:37:09You're Piper's father.
00:37:11I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:19I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:19Where's Piper?
00:37:46She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:48God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:14Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:15Not on my watch.
00:38:22Yeah, this.
00:38:24I remember this.
00:38:35Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:38How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:41Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:42It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:43Wonderful.
00:38:45Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:49Oh, no.
00:38:50What is that?
00:38:51Sardines and saltines.
00:38:53It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:55It was my gram-gram's favorite during wartime.
00:38:58Don't be shy.
00:38:58Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:39:01Max, you don't have to.
00:39:03No, no, it's okay.
00:39:04It's a Smith family staple.
00:39:07Oh, there we go.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:26Good?
00:39:27Mmm.
00:39:28Good?
00:39:29It's grumpy.
00:39:30Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:33You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:36Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:39That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:43What's the deal with them?
00:39:45Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:47Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:39:51Hey, don't worry.
00:39:53I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:57Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:40:01Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:40:04Wait, that earring.
00:40:18Wait, that earring.
00:40:20You like it?
00:40:22I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:24Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:27I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:33Right.
00:40:34Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:36Anyone can have it.
00:40:37Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:39She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:43So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:48But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:50Oof.
00:40:51What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:55An aging single mom.
00:40:57Slim pickings.
00:40:58I heard he's in waste management.
00:41:01That explains it.
00:41:02She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:05Oh, please, Miranda.
00:41:06Look, Ava is your niece.
00:41:08Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:41:10Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:14Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:16Exactly.
00:41:17Not like my Sierra.
00:41:18Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:23Oh, they're here.
00:41:25Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:32Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:34Merry Christmas.
00:41:36You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:38I am.
00:41:38I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:41Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:42Welcome.
00:41:42You're Ava's husband.
00:41:44But you're gorgeous.
00:41:48But what is handsome as you?
00:41:51Look at you two.
00:41:52You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:54Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:55Merry Christmas.
00:41:57This is for Max and I.
00:41:59Oh, my goodness.
00:42:00Thank you, Ava.
00:42:01Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:42:04Oops.
00:42:04Oh, my bad.
00:42:05Oh, a homemade gift.
00:42:08How thrifty.
00:42:10Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:12Mommy's right.
00:42:13You mean all high?
00:42:15You little.
00:42:17You will not lay a hand on my daughter,
00:42:20or you will lose yours.
00:42:22Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:25Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:27My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:30He could ruin your life.
00:42:35I'm fine.
00:42:36I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:48It's okay.
00:42:49It's okay.
00:42:52What are you?
00:42:54Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:57Did you just slap me?
00:42:59Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:01You're a fucking psycho.
00:43:03You know what, Sierra?
00:43:04I can take your little insults,
00:43:05but leave my family out of this.
00:43:09Her family.
00:43:11She needs me.
00:43:16You okay, honey?
00:43:18Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:20Do something.
00:43:21You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:23I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:26Oh, wow.
00:43:26I'm sure the CEO would love to hear
00:43:29that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:32Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:35Let's call him.
00:43:36I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:39Please.
00:43:40Who do you think you are?
00:43:42Enough!
00:43:44There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:48Fine, Dad.
00:43:49Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:51They're just jealous.
00:43:54For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:56I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:44:00I think you owe me a thank you
00:44:02for slapping some sense into you.
00:44:04Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:44:05All right, that's enough.
00:44:07Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:09Is this a joke?
00:44:32Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:34Hold it.
00:44:34Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:37My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:42My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:46King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:51Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:55And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:57It's just petty.
00:44:58Maybe so.
00:45:00But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:45:04Fine.
00:45:05Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:45:07Come on, let's go.
00:45:08No, no.
00:45:09Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:13Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:16I know, dear.
00:45:17I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:22Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:24What was that?
00:45:28I just want to have our family together.
00:45:32Fine.
00:45:33We'll stay.
00:45:34Can I have a little napalm?
00:45:37It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:38We'll get something right after.
00:45:40Like drive-thru?
00:45:42I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:44That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:49No strays.
00:45:50Ow.
00:45:51Please, are you okay?
00:45:53Yes, please.
00:45:54You hit my child.
00:45:55You're fucking crazy.
00:45:56Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:46:04Don't worry, baby.
00:46:05I'll handle it.
00:46:09Don't worry, baby.
00:46:10I'll handle it.
00:46:14Piper.
00:46:15Sweetie.
00:46:16Are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:19Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:23Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:25As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:28Actually, I do.
00:46:30He's such a liar.
00:46:32This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:33Oh, it will be.
00:46:37Sam.
00:46:39Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:42I'm already on my way.
00:46:47Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:50I'm already on my way.
00:46:53You hear this guy?
00:46:54He wants the best king crab in the world from Antarctica.
00:46:59Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:47:01His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:47:04Max, what are you doing?
00:47:07Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:47:08Santa's already on his way.
00:47:10Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:19A helicopter?
00:47:27There's no way.
00:47:28How did you pull this off?
00:47:35Sam is like family.
00:47:36I thought I'd introduce you, too.
00:47:38Thanks, boss.
00:47:40Boss?
00:47:41Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:43Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:45Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:49I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:52You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:56Mm-hmm.
00:47:58Come on.
00:48:01You can stop kidding around.
00:48:03If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:48:07No, I actually am the CEO.
00:48:09Come on.
00:48:09You can stop the charade.
00:48:11Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:14Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:17Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:21How is this possible?
00:48:33This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:39Who are you?
00:48:41I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:43That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:46Wait.
00:48:46No.
00:48:47Hold on.
00:48:49You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:54You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:56Hmm.
00:48:57Some of the small ones.
00:48:59I mean, you know that.
00:49:01You work for me.
00:49:02Oh, God.
00:49:03I insulted my own boss.
00:49:05I'm finished.
00:49:11Okay.
00:49:12I insulted my own boss.
00:49:14I'm finished.
00:49:15Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:18Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:20Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:21For tonight, your fee stands.
00:49:24And with that, your career.
00:49:27You're fired.
00:49:28Fired?
00:49:29Sam.
00:49:30Fired?
00:49:35Oh, God.
00:49:36I can't be fired.
00:49:38What?
00:49:40Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:41You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:43Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:44I'll do anything.
00:49:46Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:49And you.
00:49:54Oh, me?
00:49:56Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:58That was a Christmas joke.
00:50:00A family tradition.
00:50:02Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:50:04Sam.
00:50:09Will you do me the honors?
00:50:12Gladly.
00:50:16Merry Christmas, Emily.
00:50:20Father, do something.
00:50:23Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:25I'm leaving.
00:50:27Mmm, pumpkin's my favorite.
00:50:32Come on, sweetie.
00:50:36Daddy had this crab line just for you.
00:50:38Eat as much as you want.
00:50:40Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:44I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:46I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:48Honestly?
00:50:49This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:52Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:54Just like this.
00:50:56Does he really mean that?
00:50:58Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:59I can't tell.
00:51:01And that terrifies me.
00:51:07Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:51:09I brought you a gift.
00:51:10Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:12Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:21Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:24Tell me everything.
00:51:26Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:31Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:35A high school dropout?
00:51:37In the Harrison family?
00:51:39Not a chance.
00:51:41She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:48Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:49Silence.
00:51:50Get me the address where she works.
00:51:52It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:53That's nice.
00:51:55We own that one.
00:51:56Good work.
00:51:58But take off that stupid hat.
00:52:09Thanks.
00:52:10So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:16Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:19And how about you?
00:52:23Me?
00:52:24Yeah.
00:52:27Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:33Eva.
00:52:33Eva.
00:52:33Eva.
00:52:33Eva.
00:52:34Eva.
00:52:34Eva.
00:52:35Eva.
00:52:36Eva.
00:52:37Eva.
00:52:38Eva.
00:52:39Eva.
00:52:40Eva.
00:52:40Eva.
00:52:41Eva.
00:52:41Eva.
00:52:42Eva.
00:52:42Eva.
00:52:43That birthmark.
00:52:44Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:51Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:53So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:56No feelings, no complications.
00:52:58That's what we agreed upon.
00:53:00Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:53:02Max.
00:53:03Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:53:06It's cold.
00:53:08Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:12Max.
00:53:14I need to tell you something.
00:53:17Something important.
00:53:19What's gotten into her?
00:53:22Is she hiding something?
00:53:23Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:26I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:31Piper is...
00:53:32Piper is...
00:53:36Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:39Sweetie.
00:53:40Oh my gosh.
00:53:41It's almost swollen.
00:53:42Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:45Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:46Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:50Come on, Piper.
00:53:54Okay, let me see.
00:53:55I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:54:02But that's not true.
00:54:04You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:54:07Uh...
00:54:08Daddy!
00:54:09No!
00:54:11Well...
00:54:11Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:54:22Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:26Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:28Really?
00:54:28Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:30Daddy.
00:54:30You think it was Scar?
00:54:37Hmm.
00:54:39I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:41Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:43I have one, too.
00:54:45Dad.
00:54:46I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:48Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:51Really?
00:54:52No way.
00:54:53No.
00:54:54It was actually a cactus.
00:54:56But it's still cool.
00:54:59I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:55:04Piper, how long have you had that?
00:55:06My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:55:14And how old are you?
00:55:16Six.
00:55:17Six?
00:55:17That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:20Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:22Ivar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:28What do I even say?
00:55:29And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:31Sorry, honey.
00:55:32This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:36Um, yeah.
00:55:40Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:42Ivar.
00:55:47Okay, look.
00:55:48Piper is...
00:55:51Piper is...
00:55:53Go on.
00:56:04It must be an emergency.
00:56:06Excuse me.
00:56:08Sorry.
00:56:08I'll take this.
00:56:09Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:17Yeah.
00:56:19Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:22I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:24Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:30I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:34She's a high school dropout.
00:56:35Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:38And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:40I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:42Max.
00:56:42That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:48I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:52You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:54Your mother would take her away.
00:56:55After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:59Eva?
00:57:01Maximus?
00:57:02Are you even listening to me?
00:57:04No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:57:06I'm sorry, okay?
00:57:07Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:57:09I'm not leaving her.
00:57:12Eva?
00:57:12Eva?
00:57:13Eva?
00:57:18Oh, thank you.
00:57:20I need that.
00:57:21Ha, ha.
00:57:22For me?
00:57:23Oh, thank you, Mom.
00:57:24This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:31Oh, wow.
00:57:32That's so cool.
00:57:33What did you make?
00:57:35Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:38Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:40Just glad you're here.
00:57:44We got you.
00:57:45Oh.
00:57:45Wow.
00:57:46Damn, these are nice.
00:57:48Grandpa.
00:57:49Language.
00:57:50Little ears.
00:57:56Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:58It's in the other room by the train set.
00:58:00Here, I'll go with you.
00:58:01Remember the song that we sang?
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:03Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:58:06What do we got, guys?
00:58:07Billy.
00:58:07Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:58:09Ha.
00:58:13You never told me
00:58:14Have we met before?
00:58:23Have we met before?
00:58:25She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:28I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:34Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:45I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:46Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:47They're very common.
00:58:48I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:51No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:56Maybe.
00:58:59Are you okay?
00:59:02Were the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:04No.
00:59:06I'm fine.
00:59:08Um.
00:59:10Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:14I got you this.
00:59:15You got me a gift, too?
00:59:17Tis the season.
00:59:19Open it.
00:59:19Gloves.
00:59:35Did you make these?
00:59:37Yeah.
00:59:38I know this is a fake marriage, but
00:59:40that's Christmas.
00:59:42You've already done so much for me.
00:59:43I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:48How do they feel?
00:59:48Warm, right?
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:52Warm.
00:59:54Soft.
00:59:58Perfect.
01:00:02Thank you, Eva.
01:00:04I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:08Really?
01:00:10Yeah, my mom.
01:00:11She partied all the time.
01:00:12And I got gifts.
01:00:14Plenty of them, but
01:00:15I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:19Nothing personal.
01:00:22Well, you deserve it.
01:00:24You're a good guy.
01:00:26And someday you'll find someone special
01:00:30to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:34What if that day's today?
01:00:39What if I already found someone special?
01:00:43Right here.
01:00:44No.
01:00:54What if I already found someone special?
01:00:55No.
01:00:55Oh.
01:00:55Who?
01:00:56Come on.
01:01:08Oh, we can't.
01:01:08Max, we can't.
01:01:12If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:21I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:38I don't want you.
01:01:54Oh, God, you are driving me fucking insane.
01:02:01Hyper!
01:02:08She can't see me.
01:02:32Eva?
01:02:33Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:51That was way too close.
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:59Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:01Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:08You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:15Let me give it to you.
01:03:16Let me tell you.
01:03:18Oh.
01:03:20Oh.
01:03:25Oh.
01:03:29Oh.
01:03:30Oh.
01:03:40Oh.
01:03:40Who's calling me this morning?
01:03:59Hello?
01:04:00Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:02I'm Max's mother.
01:04:04Name your price.
01:04:05What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:08What?
01:04:09We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:13Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:17My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:21Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:25So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:32Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:39You okay?
01:04:43Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:46So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:50What are you talking about?
01:04:52It's over.
01:04:53It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:59Eva, wait!
01:04:59So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:10Max, it's not real.
01:05:12None of it was real.
01:05:14So, it's just a goodbye.
01:05:16I didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:21Look.
01:05:23Last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:27But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:30And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:32Just tell me what you need.
01:05:34I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:40Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:56I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:58I won't give up on us.
01:06:20Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:23As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:28Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32We're home.
01:06:36How can she just walk away?
01:06:46Don't forget, you have to meet my mom.
01:06:48It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53You promised.
01:06:55Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:58All right, fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:07No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address on me, either.
01:07:10I know you and Mommy thought, but she still really likes you, so don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your Daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:29If you're right, can you bring your eyes on the side, please push the troops?
01:07:45Let's step ten times.
01:07:47We go to my mother.
01:07:49my mother today time to finally tell her the truth boss boss
01:07:59lady and gentlemen i am so sorry i need to go win back my family family
01:08:06boss you okay never better go get her max
01:08:13give it your best smile ah there he is maximus darling i have some prospects for you nice high
01:08:24society girls from the city oh i told you i already found the woman i love
01:08:34maximus stop this that evil woman is scamming you son tell me what kind of woman you want and i'll
01:08:49find you another you are heir to the harrison dynasty no i'm not oh i work in waste management
01:08:59and i'm a secret crime boss i'm eva's husband and i'm a father what
01:09:20oh that's her the woman who got my son head over heels
01:09:24hi welcome in can i help you find something i want to try those
01:09:34awesome i'll get them for you right away are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible
01:09:43no no no i know what i want size seven
01:09:47oh baby can't even walk but she wants three thousand dollar heels come on she wants the white shoes
01:10:00ignore her she's just grumpy over the holidays um here let me help you come on
01:10:04she seems kind
01:10:16i shouldn't be that impressed she's just doing her job
01:10:21how do they feel well i love the style but it's too small i think i need a size up
01:10:28maybe my feet are still growing
01:10:33right away i'll be right back she's not only kind she's patient was i wrong about her
01:10:49but it's too small but it's too small but it's too small but it's too small but it's too small
01:10:55are you gluing the heel back on
01:10:59well who gives a shit she can't walk
01:11:04that's just pure evil
01:11:09oh come on saint eva she's in a wheelchair who cares it's the last pair i get paid commission
01:11:19i'm not doing that vanessa see this is your whole problem this is why you'll always be broke
01:11:34i don't care if she can walk or not i'm not selling her joke she has to deal with people like this
01:11:43people who insult her all day i'm your manager
01:11:51sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired
01:12:01did i stutter
01:12:06you don't have to fire me
01:12:07i quit
01:12:16i don't work here anymore
01:12:18listen don't buy the shoes they're broken spend your heart and money elsewhere okay
01:12:24you're a good person after all looks like i misjudged you i'm sorry
01:12:31why are you still here eva get out
01:12:40no
01:12:41no you're not disabled selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped
01:12:48absolutely shameful who are you i am the chairwoman of the harrison group and the owner of the store
01:12:57you're eleanor harrison mother of the ceo i am and you my dear are fired what did i do
01:13:08you are a good person from now on this store is yours to run
01:13:16are you serious that's right don't be nervous child you are professional responsible far
01:13:31better than that two-bit manager
01:13:37you out i'll leave
01:13:43i'm leaving
01:13:43i i feel like i'm dreaming no don't worry you're getting a promotion you deserve it my dear
01:13:57thank you first assignment i want that row and that row and the entire display case
01:14:07pack it all up and bring it to my house okay yeah once we're home i'll tell her i'm her mother-in-law
01:14:17i can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:14:19she's the mother of a ceo of course she lives like this
01:14:40mrs harrison i'm here with your delivery
01:14:42max eva what are you doing here i uh there you are eva wonderful we can finally meet each other
01:14:57properly my new daughter-in-law what are you
01:15:05that means you really are the ceo of harrison group
01:15:08well i tried to tell you but stop and you you lied to me at the store
01:15:17you were both just testing me is this some sick game rich people play i'm sorry eva i thought you
01:15:24might be using my son just after his money but i was wrong eva please i don't deserve to be treated
01:15:30like this not every working class girl is after your money how could you think that of me it's not
01:15:37like that dear eva what are you talking about mom what did you do i i was just trying to get the two
01:15:45of you back together we're not together and i can't love something that was never real
01:15:54i made a horrible mistake what are you waiting for son go after her
01:16:00eva let me go i swear it's not what you think but we come from two completely different worlds
01:16:09stop pretending like you care i'm not pretending okay i can't fake what we have and everything
01:16:14i've done for you and piper this is real
01:16:22touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got
01:16:26max you came god you are driving me insane i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:16:34a good father just say the word
01:16:40see stop fighting
01:16:45we belong together you're wrong wrong about what
01:16:50that you care or we belong together look i already told you we're from two completely different
01:16:58worlds now i held up my end of the deal and i met your mother like we discussed
01:17:03i want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:17:08eva
01:17:11eva
01:17:12eva
01:17:14i'm sorry maximus walking away is the only choice i have
01:17:24ow
01:17:26are you okay mommy yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:17:30come here
01:17:31no you're not fine you're sad
01:17:43i'm okay sweetie
01:17:47i miss daddy too
01:17:51i want max to be my real daddy
01:17:54don't you want to be with him
01:18:00love bug
01:18:02you're right
01:18:03what am i doing running like a coward
01:18:07i've always taught you to be brave
01:18:10now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:18:13i believe in you what are you gonna do mommy
01:18:16i know exactly what to say to him
01:18:22maximus deserves to know
01:18:24hyper is his daughter
01:18:32enough sulking
01:18:34go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:18:37don't you think i want to
01:18:40she doesn't want me
01:18:41i didn't raise you to give up your daughter is still out there you can't abandon her
01:18:46mom you don't get it
01:18:48i made a deal with eva to play my wife
01:18:51and piper she was
01:18:53an added bonus
01:18:55what are you talking about i already ran a dna test
01:19:00hyper is your daughter
01:19:02what see for yourself
01:19:11i was right seven years ago
01:19:13moon years that woman was evil
01:19:26eva
01:19:30daddy daddy
01:19:33piper
01:19:34i missed you so much sweetheart
01:19:44you came back
01:19:48i uh
01:19:51don't forget to be brave mommy
01:19:53i uh
01:20:01i was scared
01:20:02but i don't want to be scared anymore
01:20:05because what we have is real and it's worth fighting for
01:20:09sweetheart i have something to tell you
01:20:13i have something to tell you too
01:20:14piper is your daughter
01:20:19you knew
01:20:20my sweet granddaughter
01:20:22mama
01:20:27well i just found out for sure a few minutes ago but you've known this whole time
01:20:31i was scared
01:20:32okay i didn't know if you were going to take her from me i didn't know how you were feeling
01:20:38how could you not know how i felt
01:20:48i love you
01:20:51i love you eva
01:20:54i love you too
01:20:56i promise
01:20:58for the rest of my life i'm going to make it up to you
01:21:02as long as we're together it doesn't matter where we are
01:21:05will you marry me even for real this time yes yes of course i'll marry you
01:21:26yes
01:21:35looks like you're stuck with me the next christmas and the christmas after that
01:21:39and forever
01:21:42i wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:49who's that
01:22:02looks like i have to take out the trash
01:22:05again
01:22:05again
01:22:08no
01:22:08no
01:22:09not funny
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