The Lesbian Homie - Season 3 Episode 02
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00:00Soto to the crib. No warning.
00:02Yeah, man.
00:03Out the blue.
00:04Yes, bro.
00:05I thought he was gay.
00:06Shit, I thought so too.
00:07That's why I'm surprised to see around my nigga.
00:10Bruce's house.
00:11So what you gonna do?
00:12That's what I've been doing.
00:13Minding my business.
00:15What are you doing, bro?
00:16I'm sending a text.
00:20That's him, ain't it?
00:21No, you tripping. That's one of my hoes.
00:24Clean slate.
00:25Clean slate.
00:27No secrets, no lies.
00:29Promise?
00:30I really just thought Bruce was a quick flip.
00:32You tried him out, I tried him out,
00:34the whole gang tried him out.
00:36Nigga, if I know you would've been this mad,
00:38I would've never hit him up.
00:39We good.
00:40So you mean to tell me,
00:41the past couple days,
00:42you ain't hit up E eleven and a half times?
00:44She's seeing my calls, ignoring my calls,
00:45and then telling you about them?
00:47Yeah.
00:48You trying to get some food?
00:50You sure you don't want to shower first?
00:51I mean, I was.
00:53I could shower at my place.
00:54What's up, baby? What you doing?
00:56Who is this?
00:57You deleting my number already?
00:58It's E.
01:08Who the fuck is it?
01:10Me, fool.
01:11What the hell are you doing?
01:12Why are you better than my door, Alicia?
01:13Waking your ass up.
01:15For what?
01:17Daddy needs his pot.
01:18What?
01:19The big ass gumbo pot.
01:20He sent me over here to get it.
01:21I don't have it.
01:22He said you do.
01:23It's probably over Vanessa or Jerome's house.
01:24Nope.
01:25They both say you got it.
01:26Why the hell you been calling me ahead of time
01:27before you come to my house?
01:28And give me my fucking key back.
01:29No.
01:30Check your messages, dummy.
01:31I've been messaging you all morning.
01:32I didn't hear the phone ring.
01:34Probably because your big ass sleep like a bear.
01:35Whatever, man.
01:36Just get the pot and go.
01:37Uh, where is it?
01:38In the kitchen.
01:39Find it.
01:40I'm not finna go on no wild goose chase.
01:41This is your house.
01:42Oh my gosh.
01:43What?
01:44What?
01:45What?
01:46What?
01:47What?
01:48What?
01:49What?
01:50What?
01:51What?
01:52What?
01:53What?
01:54What?
01:55What?
01:56What?
01:57What?
01:58What?
01:59What?
02:00What?
02:01What?
02:02What?
02:03I'm not finna go on no wild goose chase.
02:04This is your house.
02:05Oh my gosh!
02:06I think it's on the bottom shelf of the pantry to the left.
02:11That's specific as fuck.
02:13Nigga, I thought you said you didn't have it.
02:14Alicia, you woke me about out my sleep, all right?
02:16I had to get my thoughts together.
02:17Yeah, I ain't.
02:21Oh, and before I leave, what is this I been hearing
02:23about you dating gay bitches?
02:24What?
02:25What?
02:26I heard a rumor about you going around town
02:28sleeping with young and communities type broads.
02:32Who the hell you hear that from?
02:33Oh, so it's true?
02:34Who told you that shit?
02:35Ugh, it's true?
02:36Alicia!
02:37I heard it at the salon at first, and I was gonna slap the bitch for lying on you, but
02:42I'm glad I didn't.
02:43And then I ran into Jason, and he said you needed an intervention.
02:47What the hell's wrong with you?
02:48Ain't nothing wrong with me.
02:49Why are you sleeping with studs, nigga?
02:53Then they're not...
02:54Oh, so they're not studs?
02:57They are.
02:57Ugh, they are?
02:58Why are you saying ugh?
02:59Because studs are, like, niggas.
03:02But they're not niggas.
03:04But they kinda are.
03:05But they're not.
03:07Low-key damn near.
03:08Oh my god, I'm often gonna have this conversation with my sister.
03:12Can you get the fuck up out of here, please?
03:14Yeah, I ain't weirdo.
03:16Damn.
03:18But know this.
03:20If one of your little chicks with a twist ever get out of pocket with you, don't call me
03:26or Vanessa, because we don't beat up niggas.
03:28Better call Jerome for that shit.
03:32Amber, close my door and sell my snacks.
03:35No!
03:36I got all these honeys wide, that's just how I keep it.
03:39You got my attention, baby, how you plan to keep it?
03:42Nigga gone so hard, but I just made this shit look easy.
03:45I can change your life right now if you gave me a reason.
03:50Bro, you gotta be kidding me.
03:52The hell are you doing here?
03:53Look, Amber, I don't want no problems, alright?
03:55I just want to talk to Eve for a quick second.
03:57She don't want to talk to you, Bruce.
03:59Yes, she does.
04:01What?
04:02She does want to talk to me.
04:04Or else she wouldn't have showed up at my house the other night.
04:07Okay, and she walked away as soon as you opened the door because she realized it was a bad idea.
04:12How do you know what she realized?
04:14Amber, this back and forth is unnecessary.
04:17Can you please just let me talk to Eve?
04:19She's not here.
04:21I see her truck on the driveway.
04:23Her truck's been here for months, just like the last time your goofy ass popped up at my house, unannounced.
04:29The truck switched spots.
04:31I said what I said, nigga.
04:35So she really not here?
04:36No, she not here.
04:38Just like I told you last time, even if she was, I wouldn't let you talk to her.
04:44Can you at least tell her I stopped by?
04:45Yeah, for sure.
04:46Yeah.
04:48You gonna really tell her?
04:53What you think?
05:08That nigga is a bugaboo.
05:10Shit, you ain't never lie.
05:12I wasn't saying that for you to agree.
05:13I'm pretty sure you're a bugaboo too.
05:16What the fuck you mean?
05:18This nigga keep popping up in my house, unannounced, just like you do at his.
05:22See, this is why you don't tell nigga shit.
05:24They're just gonna throw it back in your face.
05:26I'm not throwing nothing in your face.
05:28I'm just saying, y'all got a whole lot of drama going on.
05:31Whatever.
05:32Whatever, nigga.
05:33I feel like I'm watching a soap opera.
05:34Hey, my name's Bruce.
05:37Can I talk to you?
05:38Can I talk to you, please?
05:40Please?
05:41Like, damn, he's begging ass.
05:43He don't even sound like that.
05:45Whatever.
05:45That nigga need to get over you and move on.
05:48He already asked.
05:49Oh, yeah.
05:51I guess so.
05:52Well, shit, you don't need to be fucking no dude anyways.
05:55That part.
05:57Right?
05:59Right.
06:00Why the fuck you looking at me like that?
06:01I'm just saying.
06:04Just saying what?
06:06I'm not saying anything.
06:08I already said it.
06:10Amber, what the fuck are you saying?
06:12Look, you've been messy with this nigga, Bruce.
06:15Oh, so I'm messy now?
06:17Messy now?
06:18E, you've been messy.
06:20But this time it's with a dude, and that's what's mind-boggling to me.
06:24Well, somebody's saying what the fuck is on their mind.
06:26You right.
06:27I mean, you've been gay your whole life,
06:28then you start fucking around with this nigga, Bruce,
06:30and y'all catching feelings and playing mind games
06:32and getting Tay all involved, and that's fucked up.
06:35Hold on, bro.
06:36And, like I said, you've been messy,
06:38because before you was fucking Bruce,
06:40you was doing the same toxic shit with your little stable of broads.
06:43What's their names?
06:44Tracy, Bree, Antoinette, et cetera.
06:47I get it.
06:48According to you, I just ain't shit.
06:50I mean, yeah, facts.
06:51But you still my sister, and I love your ain't shit ass.
06:54Nah, don't try to clean it up now.
06:56I'm just saying.
06:57You got Dante all up in your mess
06:59and big-headed Bruce thinking you smashed,
07:01and now you're over here begging that nigga to be friends again.
07:03Since when you start caring about what happened to Tay?
07:07As far as I know, they got cool a few months ago.
07:09I'm just saying.
07:11All right, well, tell me your business, Dr. Phil,
07:13and who you been talking to,
07:14so I can criticize your every move with the nigga.
07:17Child, please.
07:18Aw, hold up.
07:22You talking to somebody?
07:26What?
07:27What my ass?
07:29What little weirdo you fucking with these days?
07:31Why he gotta be a weirdo?
07:32Because you picked the most random niggas to date.
07:35Well, he ain't random, nor is he weird.
07:38Okay, so who is it?
07:40Ah, it's that little pervert nigga
07:44with the glasses at your job, huh?
07:46Who, Anquan?
07:48Fuck no.
07:50Then who is he then?
07:51Can you just mind your business?
07:54Have I seen him before?
07:58Oh, I've seen this nigga before, huh?
08:01Anyways, make sure Bugaboo Bruce
08:03stops popping up at my house.
08:05Nigga, why you changing the subject?
08:07I have shit to do.
08:08Nigga, you better not be giving up no ass.
08:31Girl, are you ever gonna answer?
08:33Probably not.
08:34Why should I?
08:35Because.
08:36Y'all was literally about to get it in.
08:39Well, the vibe is all fucked up now.
08:42How?
08:44Homegirl showed up to his house,
08:45realized that he had moved on
08:47to something bigger and better,
08:48and she left.
08:49And then you was about to get
08:51your cherry re-popped.
08:52Nah.
08:53The way he looked at her,
08:55he didn't want her to leave.
08:57He damn near forgot I was there.
09:00Hmm.
09:01I can see how that could be a little awkward.
09:03You think?
09:03I'm still stuck on the fact that E was fucking with Bruce in the first place.
09:08She was super gay from what I remember.
09:10Right.
09:11She was fucking with Bruce and Tracy at the same damn time.
09:15And now you?
09:16No, not and me.
09:18I told you I'm done.
09:19I told you I ain't talking to that nigga no more.
09:38Yeah, I heard that.
09:39But I'm trying to make sense of the fact
09:41that the other night
09:42he was about to give him some coochie.
09:44And now you ghosting the nigga.
09:46All because his ex came back
09:47trying to rekindle some shit?
09:49Don't be calling my shit coochie.
09:51What am I supposed to call it then?
09:53Vagina?
09:54I can't call it pussy
09:55because you're not even utilizing it.
09:57You gotta utilize it for it to be called pussy.
09:59You ain't even graduated to that yet.
10:01You damn near got a high pocket.
10:03You dumb as fuck.
10:04And you're stubborn.
10:06Just go ahead and call him back.
10:09Nah.
10:10I'm done with the drama.
10:13Hmm.
10:14I assume we forget.
10:19What you mean?
10:20Nigga.
10:21You literally just closed the final chapter
10:23of a hella toxic book called Selena.
10:27Exactly.
10:28So why would I hop into another messy situation?
10:32Hmm.
10:33Fair enough.
10:34And here's a look at the rest of the first round.
10:42So...
10:42So you really not gonna call him back?
10:45Bitch.
10:46What?
10:46Okay, sorry.
10:48Wishful thinking.
10:49My bad.
10:50I was thinking maybe we can go on a little double date
10:52or something.
10:53Double date?
10:54You got some new work?
10:56Hmm.
10:57Something like that.
10:59It's a little new right now,
11:00but I'll keep you posted.
11:01Well, shit.
11:03If we was gonna double date,
11:05it would be with me
11:06and this little oop I just started seeing.
11:09Oop.
11:11Hmm.
11:11So it's a chick.
11:14Duh.
11:14Who else?
11:15I told you I'm done with Bruce.
11:17Okay.
11:17If you say so.
11:21Pfft.
11:21I do.
11:22I do.
11:22Brad from Interviews.
11:23And now it's the first round.
11:25Caitlin Clark going number one to the fever.
11:29What type of impact is she gonna have on now?
11:32What was the environment like?
11:34All right, nigga, I'll be in there.
11:53Hey, man, check this out, dawg.
12:08What happened that day
12:09was a big misunderstanding.
12:11Look, you did what you did
12:12and I did what I did.
12:14On my hand, that shit squashed.
12:16And I apologize.
12:21You all right?
12:21Yeah, man, for sure.
12:24Yo, D, everything good?
12:28Oh, yeah, nah, bro, I was just leaving.
12:30I was talking to my nigga, though.
12:32All right, Jay, chill out, man.
12:35We're just chopping it out.
12:37All right, my bad.
12:38Just felt a little weird energy in the air, that's all.
12:41Nah, homie, it's all love.
12:43It's all good, bro.
12:44I was just gonna carry me, got a few things.
12:45About to get up out of here, you know?
12:48Bruce.
12:49Jelani.
12:50Wait.
12:50Bruce.
12:53What is the nigga you talking about that such?
12:56Yeah, but we good, man.
12:57We just talking.
12:59We getting groceries today, man.
13:01We ain't no none of that.
13:04Right, so, uh, y'all be cool.
13:06Have a good one.
13:10You sure we good?
13:11Bro, we straight.
13:12Get your back.
13:13Good morning.
13:35What's up, babe?
13:37My breath on hum or something?
13:39Yeah, but nah, that's not it.
13:42Then what's the problem?
13:45When you gonna tell her?
13:47Oh, man, you go with that.
13:49Man.
13:49I'm serious, hey.
13:51You said you was gonna tell her when she got back from Italy.
13:53Baby, I'm gonna tell her, all right?
13:55I just didn't expect for her to come home so soon.
13:57Okay, but she did.
13:59So when you gonna tell her?
14:01Soon, Amber.
14:02Soon.
14:02It better be, because if it was up to me, she would have been, though.
14:06I know.
14:07I'm gonna tell her ASAP, all right?
14:08I'm just saying you better, because we've been out several times and she's bound to find
14:12out from somebody.
14:14You better get ahead of it with your scary ass.
14:17Okay, I'm gonna get ahead of it, all right?
14:19I'll, uh, give your boy some of that good shit.
14:22No.
14:24For real?
14:25No.
14:38Eat up.
14:40Mm, mm, what's up?
14:43It's cracking with you.
14:46Nothing, man.
14:47So, what's up with you?
14:48I finally got your busy ass to chill with me.
14:50I've been home for damn near a week.
14:52This is only our second time getting up.
14:54Nigga, I live down the street.
14:56Damn, can a brother work?
14:57Can I have some me time for myself?
14:59Jeez, you wanna see me every day?
15:00Come on, now.
15:02You know how life is.
15:03Ain't nobody trying to miss you or nothing like that.
15:04Come on.
15:06Yeah, all right, nigga.
15:07For a second, I thought you was avoiding me or something.
15:09Now, why would you think that?
15:13Because I dipped off.
15:14I left so abruptly.
15:17Listen, I mean, you had an opportunity to go overseas.
15:19I mean, if I wore a size 14 shoe, I would've took my black ass over there, too.
15:23Okay?
15:23So, I understand to go get down.
15:25I ain't tripping.
15:26Yeah, but it was more than that.
15:27You know, I just had a lot on my mind, and I just, I felt like I needed a break.
15:32I ain't gonna hold you.
15:33Shit was getting a little weird.
15:34Yeah.
15:36About that.
15:37I figured you felt some type of way about how I left.
15:40And with you and Bruce being on bad terms and all, it's...
15:44Yo, E, E, chill with that.
15:46I told you, me and Bruce, we good, man.
15:47There ain't no issues.
15:48We straight.
15:49It's like nothing ever happened.
15:50As a matter of fact, you know what?
15:52I did have to tell him the truth.
15:53How I didn't smash your ugly ass, because he wasn't gonna ever talk to me again.
15:57I should have never got you involved in the first place.
15:59I knew he was your boy, and I used you to fuck with him.
16:05And I'm sorry, bro.
16:06Yeah?
16:08You did have a homie out there thinking that I was a scandalous-ass nigga.
16:12Yeah, that was foul.
16:14But I'm glad it worked out between y'all.
16:17I mean, eventually it did.
16:20But the real question is, what's up with y'all, though?
16:23What you mean?
16:24Ain't nothing up.
16:24What you mean what I mean?
16:25I mean, I did hear that somebody popped up over at Bruce's crib and happened to see
16:31Reese there.
16:34So?
16:34I ended up leaving because I realized the whole situation with him is stupid and unnecessary.
16:39Wait, hold on, hold on.
16:39You can't be mad at Bruce for moving on.
16:42You just got through sitting here saying to me that you played him.
16:44Man, that was after I found out he smashed Sam and Chris.
16:47Oh, snap.
16:47That's right.
16:48I forgot the homie smashed all y'all.
16:51All the stud buds in the stable, plus you.
16:53Oh, my God, he did all that in one fast swoop.
16:56Nigga.
16:57I'm just saying, I know why you mad.
16:59I get it.
17:00I wasn't mad.
17:02E, stop frontin', okay?
17:04You cut off Chris and Sam, threw me in the mix just to crush this nigga's soul.
17:08But I ain't gonna bring up old stuff, okay?
17:12Because, like you said, you could care less.
17:14So, if you like it, I love it.
17:16Fuck it!
17:17Man, you talk too much.
17:19You got something to drink this bitch?
17:21Actually, you know what?
17:22You can have the half Capri Sun in there that I was gonna drink for dinner.
17:26It's all yours.
17:27If you open up that refrigerator, look all the way to the right.
17:29In the back, you see a big-ass water jug with lemon heads floating in it.
17:33That's my lemonade.
17:34That reduces all the fat sales from the...
17:36You know what I'm saying?
17:37That's genius how you save money.
17:39You feel me?
17:39And if you don't like that, get some of that Tampico.
17:41You know, that'll quench your thirst for sure.
17:44What the...
17:45Hold on, hold on.
17:49You got Taylor Port in your fridge?
17:51What?
17:52Say what?
17:53Hold on.
17:56Since when you started drinking wine?
17:58That ain't mine.
17:59I don't think.
17:59I thought that was apple cider.
18:00I must didn't have my glasses on.
18:02Yeah, all right.
18:03What new female you trying to impress?
18:05Nobody.
18:06What you say that for?
18:09Amber be drinking this.
18:10And she swear by it, too.
18:13You know, I'd be teasing her about it, but low-key, it's wine.
18:15Fire.
18:16For real?
18:17I shouldn't have...
18:17I wouldn't know.
18:19You want some?
18:20Actually, no, I'm good.
18:21I'm straight.
18:21I'm gonna go in and get back to Capri Sun.
18:23I'm about to pour you a glass, man.
18:25We celebrating.
18:27E's back in town.
18:30Order some wings.
18:33Lemon pepper.
18:34Oh, no, nigga, man.
18:35Where are you?
18:40Where are you?
18:43It's the end of the weekend, but I still wanna turn up.
18:48Yeah, I still wanna turn up.
18:51All I want is to go again, but you ain't picking your phone up.
18:56Why are you messing my head up?
19:00Any night, any day, let me take you away.
19:04All I need is just saying yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:07Better nights, better days.
19:09When you're here with me, babe.
19:11Cause you're all that I crave, so I wonder.
19:15Where are you?
19:17Where are you?
19:20Where are you?
19:22Don't hide away from me.
19:24When I need you most, we got love guaranteed.
19:27And I have to know, say.
19:30Where are you?
19:32Where are you?
19:34Where are you?
19:37Don't be so hard to reach.
19:39Just pick up your phone.
19:41Tell me where you'll be.
19:43Cause I gotta know.
19:45Let me know when you're ready.
19:46Let me know when you're ready.
20:16Where are you?
20:18Where are you?
20:19Where are you?
20:20Where are you?
20:23Don't be so hard to reach.
20:25Just pick up your phone.
20:27Tell me where you'll be.
20:29Cause I gotta know.
20:32Any night, any day.
20:34Let me take you away.
20:36All I need is you saying yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:40Better nights, better days.
20:42When you're here with me, babe.
20:44Cause you're all I crave, so I want.
20:46Where are you?
20:48Where are you?
20:49Where are you?
20:51Where are you?
20:53Baby.
20:54Don't hide away from me when I need you most.
20:58We got love guaranteed.
21:00And I have to know, say.
21:02Where are you?
21:06Where are you?
21:08Don't be so hard to reach.
21:11Just pick up your phone.
21:14Tell me where you'll be.
21:15Cause I gotta know.
21:17This season on The Lesbian Homie.
21:21It's a flag on the flag.
21:22All the more reasons not to fuck with her.
21:25I've been trying to tell you this.
21:26Popping up on him when y'all ain't talked in three months is wild as hell.
21:29The way he looked at her, he didn't want her to leave.
21:32He damn near forgot I was there.
21:34You was finna smash Reese, nigga?
21:35And didn't tell me Reesey?
21:37You was finna smash Reesey into pieces.
21:40Reesey Pieces.
21:41I, nigga, what?
21:42It's nice to meet somebody who knows who they are and ain't about the drama.
21:47That's me.
21:48So you tryna say that after we started smashing, you gonna start catching feelings?
21:51That's what I'm saying, bro.
21:53I don't know what you want me to say, Reese.
21:54I like you and I like he.
21:56Y'all damn near the same person cause y'all both crazy as hell.
21:58Why are you sleeping with studs, nigga?
22:01Then they're not.
22:01Oh, so they're not studs?
22:04Clean slate.
22:06Clean slate.
22:07Is this Selena?
22:09Yeah.
22:09Who's this?
22:10What's important is you sleeping with my man.
22:13Robin and I have been seeing each other.
22:15Yeah, I'm lost.
22:16There go your own work.
22:18Looking bad, then, motherfucker.
22:21So I'm finna go over there and see what she talking about.
22:22Oh, not too quick.
22:24Look like baby didn't move on.
22:26Well, you think I'm the only one playing both sides of the fence?
22:28I thought we had something real.
22:31I don't give a fuck if it was one time or a thousand times.
22:34If Bri wanna choose up on E, that's on her.
22:37But I ain't gotta fight for Bruce.
22:38I thought he want me anyway.
22:40What you think was gonna happen?
22:42How you think this was gonna end?
22:43I don't know.
22:44Not like this.
22:45Old begging for scraps ass bitch.
22:46Oh, word?
22:48You know what?
22:49I think you fucked Bruce just to spite me.
22:51Get the fuck from my crib, my nigga.
22:53So you in a love triangle with two stud buddies?
22:56I'm not in love with nobody.
22:57I keep telling y'all that.
22:59No.
23:00He in love.
23:00This nigga trying to take over a world of studs.
23:04The Infinity Stones.
23:06Infinity and beyond.
23:07Sounds like you dealing with gay bitches that ain't really gay.
23:13And you think it's because of you.
23:14I know it's because of me.
23:15They want me.
23:16You alone?
23:18Good, because I think I left it in your bedroom.
23:20To the max.
23:37Well, I know it's because of you.
23:44You and I have a person.
23:47I know it's because of you.
23:48I know it's because of you.
23:49I know it's because of you.
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