- 4 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Find the space shuttle for the second time and this guy passes out.
00:00:03Alright, it's about that time.
00:00:05So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:14Yeah, him.
00:00:16Hi!
00:00:17Just play along.
00:00:19Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:25Take it!
00:00:48You have a cute scar.
00:00:50It's just my birthmark.
00:00:52If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:00:57I don't want you to stop.
00:01:22I was so drunk last night.
00:01:32I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:37I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:40Happy New Year.
00:01:46Sam, it's me.
00:01:47Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:50I don't care how.
00:01:51Just do it.
00:01:52I will find you.
00:01:54Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:01Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:04I need grandkids.
00:02:06I need you to...
00:02:07Message received, Mom.
00:02:08I need to go now.
00:02:09I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:11Seven years.
00:02:21Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:23And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:25Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:35Boss, it's been years.
00:02:40I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:42Your vest, sir.
00:02:43But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:46She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:47Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:49And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:52We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO
00:02:54or she'll jack up the price.
00:02:55Good.
00:02:56Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:01Hi.
00:03:02One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:04And one hot chocolate.
00:03:07I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:10Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:15Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:17It's just for Christmas.
00:03:19But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:21Where's my real one?
00:03:24Uh...
00:03:30I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:32Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:41Daddy!
00:03:42No!
00:03:43What?
00:03:50Daddy!
00:03:51No!
00:03:52I'm sorry.
00:03:54I'm not your dad.
00:03:55No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I thought.
00:03:58Oh.
00:04:00Mommy, hurry!
00:04:01Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:10I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:13He's gorgeous.
00:04:20Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:22Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:23She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:25Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:27You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:29So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:32See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:35Hi, my name's Cybert.
00:04:36What's your name?
00:04:37Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:40Max.
00:04:41Aurelius.
00:04:42Eva.
00:04:43I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:48I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:50I guess mom gets her grandkid too.
00:04:54So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:00$1,000 an hour?
00:05:01Well, yeah.
00:05:03It's $500 a day.
00:05:05Is that enough?
00:05:06That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:08Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:10That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:12You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:14Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:16Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:21And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:26So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:31Fine.
00:05:32But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:36Okay.
00:05:37Deal.
00:05:41Ready to go get married?
00:05:42Wow.
00:05:43Clean up nice.
00:05:44This is my wedding day, after all.
00:05:45Pictures.
00:05:46Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:05:56Clean up nice.
00:05:58This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:00Pictures.
00:06:09Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:26Okay, uh, I think we got it.
00:06:37Ooh, I need some photos of us together, too, to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:42and have a happy family.
00:06:44Yeah, of course.
00:06:45Happy holidays, Mom.
00:06:57From my family to you.
00:07:07Bad news, boss.
00:07:08The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:13Wait, she bailed?
00:07:14Then who is...
00:07:15Who is she?
00:07:19Whatever.
00:07:21It doesn't matter.
00:07:22I've got what I need.
00:07:26Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:27I already found someone.
00:07:34Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:37Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:39Christmas shopping?
00:07:40I should come.
00:07:42Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:45I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:48It will make it more believable.
00:07:53Fine.
00:07:53Yeah, fine.
00:07:54Okay.
00:07:55You can come.
00:07:56Let's go.
00:08:04Which mall are we going to?
00:08:06Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:08Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:09Oh, what the actual fuck?
00:08:19Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:25Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:31She does kind of look like him.
00:08:33So, when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:41Here, let me get this.
00:08:44I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:46Oh, so, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice in front of them.
00:08:58Okay.
00:08:59Should we use our tongues or...
00:09:02No, no, definitely not.
00:09:03And absolutely no...
00:09:05Sex?
00:09:06Yes.
00:09:07This is strictly business.
00:09:09Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:13What?
00:09:14Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:17I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:23Let's go.
00:09:29Here.
00:09:31What are you doing?
00:09:32I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:36Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:42Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:4650% off pies?
00:09:47Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:4912 pumpkin pies, did I hear this right?
00:09:51They're the best kind.
00:09:52Hurry up and go, go.
00:09:53What are you standing here for?
00:09:56Hello there.
00:09:57Hi.
00:09:58You ready?
00:09:58Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:00Okay, great.
00:10:01We have a holiday special today.
00:10:03Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:09Oh, great, yeah.
00:10:10What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:12Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:14I just got here, relax.
00:10:17Yeah, yeah.
00:10:21Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:22Okay, thank you.
00:10:25Hurry up and pay.
00:10:26I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:31You can wait your turn.
00:10:37Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:39Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, not the pies, not the pies.
00:10:47You can just set those on top.
00:10:53Hi, guys.
00:10:55I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:01Of course.
00:11:03Thank you so much.
00:11:04Of course.
00:11:04I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:07She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:08Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:10Just to give it away.
00:11:13Merry Christmas.
00:11:14Merry Christmas.
00:11:20What?
00:11:20You do that often?
00:11:23As often as I can.
00:11:28We should go.
00:11:29We got to pick up paper.
00:11:33Watch out.
00:11:34You done feeling me up?
00:11:56Shut up.
00:11:56Oh, sorry.
00:11:57I was just in character, wifey.
00:11:59Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:04And don't be late.
00:12:19Harrison Group?
00:12:20Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:23Sort of.
00:12:24Not that I'm judging.
00:12:25I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:31Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:34I think that's respectable.
00:12:36Can we pick another company?
00:12:38No.
00:12:39Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:41And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:42My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:44So, it's perfect.
00:12:50Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:12:53Don't worry.
00:12:54Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:12:56I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:12:59Too much.
00:13:00Let's go, Sam.
00:13:22It's time to check out the new HQ side.
00:13:23Well, Don, you're covered in water, and you have a hair on your shoulder, and it's not yours.
00:13:29It's my daughter's.
00:13:31Daughter's?
00:13:33Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:36Hey, there they are!
00:13:51Yay!
00:13:52Nice to meet you!
00:13:54Aw, Dad.
00:13:56So glad you made it.
00:13:57Aw, I missed you.
00:13:59So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:03He's coming.
00:14:04Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:06Good, good, good.
00:14:09So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:12When's he arriving?
00:14:14Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:18Poor thing.
00:14:19Not surprising.
00:14:20I mean, she's 30.
00:14:22Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:25Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:31This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:35Auntie Pamela?
00:14:36Debbie?
00:14:37My dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:40We're only worried about you.
00:14:42All these years without a husband.
00:14:45Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:46You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:50And look what happened.
00:14:51She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:14:55I'm not alone.
00:14:56Mm-hmm.
00:14:57And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:03He's a manager.
00:15:04Manager of what?
00:15:07Trash.
00:15:09Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:13You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:16Actually, he's right here.
00:15:22Oh, wow.
00:15:24Wow.
00:15:25He is really good looking.
00:15:28Ah, must be AI.
00:15:30Mm-hmm.
00:15:30Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:33Fake.
00:15:34That's enough.
00:15:35She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:37Show some respect.
00:15:39Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William,
00:15:43and you turned him down?
00:15:46Well, guess what?
00:15:47William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:50Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:53That's half a million.
00:15:55Half a million.
00:15:56Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:00And speak of the devil.
00:16:03Oh, Willie, you've made it.
00:16:17There you are.
00:16:19Oh, look at you now.
00:16:21Living the dream.
00:16:22Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:25Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:31So married, huh?
00:16:32Is it serious?
00:16:35That's what marriage is.
00:16:36It's pretty serious.
00:16:38Wow.
00:16:39You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:42Makes sense, though.
00:16:43You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:46Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:48Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:51Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:16:55That's right.
00:16:57Just bought this brand new suit of my Christmas bonus.
00:17:01Women love a man in red.
00:17:03Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:06Wanna sit on my lap?
00:17:08Don't touch me.
00:17:09Oh, so entitled.
00:17:11Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:15And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:19I mean, look at that car.
00:17:22Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:25Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:28Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:33I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:40My mom would never marry.
00:17:42She already has a husband.
00:17:43He's gonna kick your butt.
00:17:45Is that so?
00:17:50Well, then, where is he?
00:17:52Because I don't see him.
00:17:54Does anyone see him?
00:17:57No.
00:17:58Just like I thought.
00:18:00Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:03That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:06And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:11Hey.
00:18:12Mommy.
00:18:13Hi.
00:18:13Are you okay?
00:18:14I see your hands.
00:18:15Oh, my God.
00:18:17I'm gonna take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:19Come on, then.
00:18:20Let's go.
00:18:22What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:24How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:28Let me go.
00:18:29Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:34Let me go.
00:18:35Let me go.
00:18:36Let me go.
00:18:36Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:18:53Max, you came.
00:18:58Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:02Where's Piper?
00:19:04William Hitter.
00:19:06Mom, I'm dead.
00:19:06I'll take her inside.
00:19:07Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:10Well, well, well.
00:19:12If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:15That's right.
00:19:17Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:19Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:24It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:25I'm Max.
00:19:26Eva told us all about you.
00:19:28From New York.
00:19:29Polite.
00:19:30Handsome.
00:19:31Just like she said.
00:19:33Wow.
00:19:34He was an AI.
00:19:36See?
00:19:37He's real.
00:19:38And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:41You son of a bitch.
00:19:42You just ruined my suit.
00:19:43And watch the way that you drive that pristine automobile.
00:19:47That car?
00:19:49Oh, my God.
00:19:51That's worth more than a house.
00:19:53That car?
00:19:54It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:19:59Wait.
00:20:00Are you?
00:20:05Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:08And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:10I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:12You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:14You stole it.
00:20:15That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:18Jesus.
00:20:19How did he get away with it?
00:20:20That's what I want to know.
00:20:22Enough, please.
00:20:25I trust my daughter.
00:20:28She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:31Max, be honest with me.
00:20:33Where did that car come from?
00:20:35How much did one flight?
00:20:37I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:41Sir?
00:20:41You need a breath, man.
00:20:46All right, that's it.
00:20:47I'm calling the cops.
00:20:48Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:50Wait.
00:20:51What?
00:20:52Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:20:55Oh, well.
00:20:57Too late.
00:20:57Mr. Harrison?
00:21:04Just play along.
00:21:07Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:21:08Now get the fuck out of here
00:21:09before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:21:12Yes, sir.
00:21:13I'm so sorry, sir.
00:21:16Please, take my serious apologies.
00:21:17Please.
00:21:18Please.
00:21:18Oh, that William, what a jerk, huh?
00:21:32He fooled me.
00:21:33What can I say?
00:21:34Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:21:38Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:21:40Oh, come on, Eva.
00:21:41We were just looking out for you.
00:21:43Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:21:45You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:21:48Soon.
00:21:49Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:21:52A job at the Harrison Group,
00:21:54even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:21:57We are family, aren't we?
00:21:59Family takes care of each other.
00:22:02If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group,
00:22:04you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:22:06Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:22:10Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:22:13Yeah.
00:22:13I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:22:16My daughter is just far too busy.
00:22:19Your best life, my new son-in-law.
00:22:22Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:22:24Welcome to the family.
00:22:28Welcome.
00:22:29Come on in.
00:22:30Come on in.
00:22:33This is your fault, Pam.
00:22:35You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:22:39Hey, how do you have that car?
00:22:55And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:22:57And how do you...
00:22:58I told you.
00:22:59I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:23:00I have a friend in high places.
00:23:03A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:23:08Yes.
00:23:09It's the season of giving.
00:23:11He knows people.
00:23:12Has connections.
00:23:14He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:23:16You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:23:18And you best not forget it, capisce?
00:23:20Oh, my God, just don't blow your cover.
00:23:23Dad!
00:23:24Mom!
00:23:25Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:23:28Oh, honey.
00:23:29We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:23:35I think they get it, hon.
00:23:40How's Piper?
00:23:41Oh, she's fine.
00:23:42One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:23:45And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:23:51Great.
00:23:51See you in a bit.
00:23:52Joey?
00:23:53What are you doing?
00:23:56Okay.
00:23:58Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:24:04Relax.
00:24:05It was just a hug.
00:24:07Ugh.
00:24:09We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:24:12You'll be okay.
00:24:13It's just one week.
00:24:14Kill me now.
00:24:15Well, they would, but I need to get paid.
00:24:22What are you doing?
00:24:24That's weird.
00:24:26They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:24:28I don't know.
00:24:29Something just feels off.
00:24:30Come on.
00:24:31That's ridiculous.
00:24:33I mean, what do you want to go do?
00:24:35Make out a promise to prove it?
00:24:37I don't like this.
00:24:39Later.
00:24:39Later.
00:24:42Let's go.
00:24:43Here we go.
00:24:49Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:24:51Everything looks amazing.
00:24:52And happy holidays.
00:24:53To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:24:56Oh, welcome.
00:24:59Cheers.
00:25:00Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:25:01Looks great.
00:25:02Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:25:04I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:25:09But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:25:13Oh, no.
00:25:14Mom's testing him.
00:25:15She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:25:17You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:25:24Ow.
00:25:25Eva, sweetie.
00:25:27Kicking my foot.
00:25:28Oh, sorry, mom.
00:25:30Oh, jeez.
00:25:32It's okay.
00:25:34Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:25:35I would like to hear Max say it.
00:25:3712 pumpkin pies.
00:25:51Did I hear this right?
00:25:52They're the best kind.
00:25:55Well, of course.
00:25:56It's pumpkin pie.
00:25:58See?
00:26:00Are you happy now?
00:26:01That's good, but something still falls off.
00:26:04Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:26:06We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:26:12But our marriage is real.
00:26:14I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:26:18Ah, now those are quality.
00:26:22Okay, well, then answer this.
00:26:25Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:26:28Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:26:32I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:26:34Well, um, it's...
00:26:38Silly face.
00:26:38Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:26:41Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:26:44Silly face.
00:26:46I am not paying extra for this.
00:26:48Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:26:50That's Lazarus.
00:26:52That's nice.
00:26:54You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:26:57Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:27:00And I'm not just talking about William.
00:27:02I'll drink to that.
00:27:04I agree with you there.
00:27:06So, come on, guys.
00:27:07Let's eat.
00:27:08Come on.
00:27:08And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:27:24I have another room set up for Piper.
00:27:27Nice and festive for you.
00:27:28No complications, right?
00:27:31Sorry, honey.
00:27:32Uh, mom, you know what?
00:27:33I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:27:35Oh, honey.
00:27:36Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:27:39Oh, I just remembered.
00:27:41The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:27:43Something about water conservation.
00:27:45That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:27:4715 minutes?
00:27:50Honey, it's no big deal.
00:27:51Just shower together.
00:27:53Shower together?
00:27:54Just shower together.
00:27:59Okay, you guys.
00:28:00Have a good night, okay?
00:28:05You heard her.
00:28:24Oh, wow.
00:28:29Why are you stripping?
00:28:31Well, I can't take a shower and get clothes on.
00:28:34Come on, we're wasting time.
00:28:35You have 15 minutes.
00:28:36Nice try.
00:28:36I am not showering with you.
00:28:39All right, sleep yourself.
00:28:40All right, sleep yourself.
00:28:40More room for me in there.
00:28:42Not if I meet you there first.
00:28:43Come on, Max.
00:29:01Get out of the way.
00:29:03We agreed, nothing physical.
00:29:05You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:29:07Relax.
00:29:08I won't touch you.
00:29:10Unless you say you want me to.
00:29:11But that'll cost extra.
00:29:24And your dreams.
00:29:27Free to join me.
00:29:28You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:29:51You wish.
00:29:52Why aren't you getting in?
00:29:54Pray you'll fall for me.
00:29:55It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:29:59Oh, yeah?
00:30:00Proof.
00:30:01Holy shit.
00:30:05This is going to be harder than I thought.
00:30:22I'll say.
00:30:23What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:30:25Still think you can lose it?
00:30:29Baby.
00:30:30I don't think I want you.
00:30:37Max, I shouldn't.
00:30:41Or maybe we should.
00:30:43God, he's such a good kisser.
00:30:45Why does this feel so familiar?
00:30:54Mom, we're so sexy.
00:31:05Max, we cannot do this.
00:31:07What?
00:31:08I didn't mean to cross any...
00:31:10It's not you, Max.
00:31:11It's us.
00:31:12It's this.
00:31:12This is all an act.
00:31:13Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:31:16You're right.
00:31:19I'm sorry.
00:31:20I just need to be sorry.
00:31:22Just...
00:31:26That birthmark.
00:31:31What is that?
00:31:39It's him.
00:31:40The man from New Year's.
00:31:41Is he...
00:31:42Piper's father?
00:31:46Why are you acting?
00:31:50Oh, my God.
00:31:51Max is Piper's father.
00:31:54Are you okay?
00:31:55Yeah.
00:31:56I just, um...
00:31:58I just got lightheaded.
00:31:59I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:32:01Alone.
00:32:04Of course.
00:32:07We have a daughter together.
00:32:09Oh, my God.
00:32:11What do I do?
00:32:17I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:32:19You can take the bed.
00:32:22Thanks.
00:32:24Hey.
00:32:26Are you sure you're okay?
00:32:28Look, fake marriage aside,
00:32:29I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:32:31So if there's something you need,
00:32:33I can help.
00:32:35I want to help.
00:32:36He's Piper's father.
00:32:38He has a right to know.
00:32:40Um, Max?
00:32:43How would you feel
00:32:45if you found out you had a kid?
00:32:47A child?
00:32:51No, no, no, no.
00:32:53That's impossible.
00:32:54I'm very careful.
00:32:57Mostly.
00:32:59I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:33:02Family to me is a big commitment,
00:33:04and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:33:08Right.
00:33:10He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:33:12I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:33:15Why do you ask?
00:33:17No reason.
00:33:18Just curious.
00:33:20No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:33:23What?
00:33:25No.
00:33:26Well, then,
00:33:27can I ask you a question?
00:33:29Shoot.
00:33:30Shoot.
00:33:30Where did you get these?
00:33:37And how did you know my exact size?
00:33:39I did not get those.
00:33:41I don't know where those came from.
00:33:43Are you sure you're just not trying to
00:33:45break the contract?
00:33:48Come here.
00:33:49Come here.
00:33:49Come here.
00:33:49Come here.
00:33:50Come here.
00:33:50Come here.
00:33:51Come here.
00:33:51Come here.
00:33:51Come here.
00:33:51Woo!
00:34:00Eva, the truth is, is that I...
00:34:07Go, go, go, go, go.
00:34:11Just a second.
00:34:12Come in.
00:34:14Hey, hon.
00:34:16Oh!
00:34:17Sorry for interrupting,
00:34:18but Piper is asking for a bedtime story
00:34:22before I tuck her in.
00:34:23Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:34:24We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:34:26I can see that.
00:34:27Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:34:30I mean, if you don't, if you don't mind.
00:34:33Well, that a boy.
00:34:34You know what?
00:34:35Just put his shirt on.
00:34:36I'm gonna go get her.
00:34:37Piper!
00:34:38Here comes Grandpa!
00:34:42He sprang to his sleigh,
00:34:44to his team gave a whistle,
00:34:46and away they all flew,
00:34:48like the down of a thistle.
00:34:49But I heard him exclaim,
00:34:51as he drove out of sight,
00:34:53Merry Christmas to all,
00:34:55and to all,
00:34:56a good night.
00:35:00If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:35:02she'd be over the moon.
00:35:05Good night, Piper.
00:35:09Is her dad still around?
00:35:12Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:35:14because you are her dad.
00:35:16Uh, no.
00:35:16That man has no idea
00:35:19what a treasure
00:35:20he's missing out on.
00:35:25Do you really think so?
00:35:27From the bottom of my heart.
00:35:30Maybe I should tell him.
00:35:32He deserves to know.
00:35:32Max.
00:35:36You're Piper's father.
00:35:52I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:35:53Where's Piper?
00:36:15She must have snuck off
00:36:21while we were asleep.
00:36:38God, he's such a good kisser.
00:36:40Just gonna kiss and run?
00:36:51Not on my watch.
00:36:56Yeah, this.
00:36:58I remember this.
00:36:59Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:37:13How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:37:16Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:37:17It was, uh, it was great.
00:37:19Wonderful.
00:37:20Well, it's about to get even better.
00:37:21Oh, no.
00:37:25What is that?
00:37:26Sardines and Saltines.
00:37:28It's a Smith family classic.
00:37:30It was my gram-grams favorite
00:37:31during wartime.
00:37:33Don't be shy.
00:37:33Go ahead and grab a handful.
00:37:36Max, you don't have to.
00:37:37No, no.
00:37:38It's okay.
00:37:39It's a Smith family staple.
00:37:41Oh, my God.
00:37:51It's a Smith family.
00:37:52Yeah.
00:38:01Good?
00:38:02Mmm.
00:38:03Good?
00:38:04Squamish.
00:38:06Well, you two better get dressed.
00:38:08You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:38:11Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:38:14That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda
00:38:16in her brood this year.
00:38:18What's the deal with them?
00:38:19Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:38:22Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:38:26Hey, don't worry.
00:38:28I'll protect you and Piper.
00:38:32Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:38:35Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up, then.
00:38:49Wait, that earring.
00:38:52Wait.
00:38:53That earring.
00:38:55You like it?
00:38:56I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:38:59Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:39:01I don't really remember the details, but luckily, I was able to find a new pair.
00:39:08Right.
00:39:09Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:39:10Anyone could have it.
00:39:12Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:39:13She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:39:18So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:39:22But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:39:24Oof.
00:39:25What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:39:29An aging single mom.
00:39:31Slim pickings.
00:39:32I heard he's in waste management.
00:39:35That explains it.
00:39:36She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:39:40Oh, please, Miranda.
00:39:41No.
00:39:41Ava is your niece.
00:39:43Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:39:45Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:39:49Her track record speaks for itself.
00:39:50Exactly.
00:39:51Not like my Sierra.
00:39:53Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:39:58Oh.
00:39:59They're here.
00:40:00Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:40:02Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:40:09Merry Christmas.
00:40:11You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:40:12I am.
00:40:14I'm Eva's husband, Max.
00:40:16Pleasure to meet you.
00:40:16Welcome.
00:40:17You're Eva's husband.
00:40:19But you're gorgeous.
00:40:23But not as handsome as you.
00:40:26Look at you two.
00:40:27You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:40:29Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:40:30Merry Christmas.
00:40:32This is for Max and I.
00:40:33Oh, my goodness.
00:40:35Thank you, Eva.
00:40:35Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:40:38Oops.
00:40:39Oh, my bad.
00:40:40Oh, a homemade gift.
00:40:43How thrifty.
00:40:44Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:40:47Mommy's right.
00:40:48You mean all hats?
00:40:50You little.
00:40:52You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:40:57Oh.
00:40:57I think you broke my wrist.
00:41:00Look what you just did to my mother.
00:41:02My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:41:05He could ruin your life.
00:41:07Honey, are you okay?
00:41:21I'm fine.
00:41:21I'm just wet, huh?
00:41:23Yeah.
00:41:23It's okay.
00:41:24It's okay.
00:41:24It's okay.
00:41:27What are you?
00:41:27Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:41:32Did you just slap me?
00:41:34Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:41:36You're a fucking psycho.
00:41:38You know what, Sierra?
00:41:38I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:41:42Her family.
00:41:46She means me.
00:41:51You okay, honey?
00:41:52Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:41:54Do something.
00:41:56You don't know who you're messing with.
00:41:58I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:42:00Oh, wow.
00:42:01I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:42:07Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:42:10Let's call him.
00:42:10I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:42:14Please.
00:42:14Who do you think you are?
00:42:17Enough!
00:42:19There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:42:22Fine, Dad.
00:42:24Let it go, Nathan.
00:42:25They're just jealous.
00:42:28For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:42:31I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:42:35I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:42:38Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:42:39All right, that's enough.
00:42:41Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:42:44Is this a joke?
00:43:05Can you please pass me some food?
00:43:08Hold it.
00:43:09Who said you could eat anything else?
00:43:11My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:43:17My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:43:21King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:43:26Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:43:29And you don't get a single bite.
00:43:31It's just petty.
00:43:32It's just petty.
00:43:33Maybe so.
00:43:34But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:43:38Fine.
00:43:39Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:43:42Come on, let's go.
00:43:43No, no.
00:43:44Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:43:47Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:43:50I know, dear.
00:43:51I just want to have our family together.
00:43:53Fine.
00:43:54We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:43:57Better a stray than a bitch.
00:43:59What was that?
00:44:03I just want to have our family together.
00:44:06Fine.
00:44:07We'll stay.
00:44:09Can I have a little nipple?
00:44:11It's okay, sweetie.
00:44:12We'll get something right after.
00:44:14Like drive-thru?
00:44:16I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:44:18That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:44:22No strays.
00:44:24Al, sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:44:27Yes, I'm fine.
00:44:28You hit my child.
00:44:30You're fucking crazy!
00:44:31Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:44:38Don't worry, baby.
00:44:39I'll handle it.
00:44:43Don't worry, baby.
00:44:44I'll handle it.
00:44:48Piper.
00:44:49Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:44:56Okay, sweetheart.
00:44:57Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:44:59As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:45:02Actually, I do.
00:45:05He's such a liar.
00:45:06This ought to be hilarious.
00:45:08Oh, it will be.
00:45:11Sam.
00:45:13Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:45:17I'm already on my way.
00:45:18Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:45:24I'm already on my way.
00:45:27You hear this guy?
00:45:29He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:45:31From Antarctica.
00:45:33Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:45:36His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:45:39Max, what are you doing?
00:45:41Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:45:42Santa's already on his way.
00:45:43Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:45:53A helicopter?
00:46:01There's no way.
00:46:03How did you pull this off?
00:46:09Sam is like family.
00:46:11I thought I'd introduce you, too.
00:46:12Thanks, boss.
00:46:14Boss?
00:46:15Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:46:18Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:46:20Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:46:23I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:46:27You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:46:30Mm-hmm.
00:46:33Come on.
00:46:36You can stop kidding around.
00:46:38If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:46:42No, I actually am the CEO.
00:46:43Come on.
00:46:44You can stop the charade.
00:46:46Okay?
00:46:46This is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:46:48Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:46:52Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:47:05How is this possible?
00:47:06This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:47:13Who are you?
00:47:15I told you.
00:47:16I'm Eva's husband.
00:47:18That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:47:20Wait.
00:47:21No.
00:47:21Hold on.
00:47:23You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:47:28You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:47:31Some of the small ones.
00:47:33I mean, you know that.
00:47:35You work for me.
00:47:36Oh, God.
00:47:37I insulted my own boss.
00:47:40I'm finished.
00:47:40I insulted my own boss.
00:47:48I'm finished.
00:47:50Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:47:52Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:47:54Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:47:56For tonight, your feast ends.
00:47:59And with that, your career.
00:48:02You're fired.
00:48:03Fired?
00:48:04Sam.
00:48:08Fired?
00:48:09God.
00:48:10I can't be fired.
00:48:11I can't be fired.
00:48:12What?
00:48:14Mr. Harrison, please.
00:48:15You can have as much crab as you want.
00:48:17Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:48:19I'll do anything.
00:48:20Guys, take out the trash.
00:48:22And you.
00:48:29Oh, me?
00:48:31Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:48:33That was a Christmas joke.
00:48:34A family tradition.
00:48:36Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:48:39Sam.
00:48:43Will you do me the honors?
00:48:46Gladly.
00:48:51Merry Christmas, Aunt Ryan.
00:48:52Father, do something.
00:48:57Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:48:59I'm leaving.
00:49:01Mmm, pumpkin's my favorite.
00:49:09Come on, sweetie.
00:49:10Daddy had this crab flying just for you.
00:49:13Eat as much as you want.
00:49:14Yes, Daddy.
00:49:18I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:49:20I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:49:23Honestly?
00:49:24This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:49:27Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:49:28Just like this.
00:49:30Does he really mean that?
00:49:32Or is he just playing the part?
00:49:34I can't tell.
00:49:36And that terrifies me.
00:49:37Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:49:43I brought you a gift.
00:49:44Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:49:47Oh, this is wonderful.
00:49:55Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:49:58Tell me everything.
00:50:00Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:50:05Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:50:09A high school dropout?
00:50:11In the Harrison family?
00:50:14Not a chance.
00:50:18She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:50:22Maximus seems to like her.
00:50:23Silence.
00:50:24Get me the address where she works.
00:50:26It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:50:28That's nice.
00:50:29We own that one.
00:50:31Good work.
00:50:32But take off that stupid hat.
00:50:44Thanks.
00:50:45So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:50:51Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:50:53And how about you?
00:50:58Me?
00:50:59Yeah.
00:50:59Are you happy with your new husband?
00:51:06Eva.
00:51:18That birthmark.
00:51:19Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:51:26Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:51:27So much we're not telling each other.
00:51:29Uh, no feelings, no complications.
00:51:33That's what we agreed upon.
00:51:34Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:51:37Max.
00:51:38Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:51:41It's cold.
00:51:43Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:51:47Max.
00:51:47Max.
00:51:47I need to tell you something.
00:51:52It's something important.
00:51:54What's gotten into her?
00:51:56Is she hiding something?
00:51:58Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:52:01I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:52:05Piper is...
00:52:06Piper is...
00:52:07Piper is...
00:52:10Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:52:13Oh, sweetie.
00:52:14Oh, my gosh.
00:52:15It's all swollen.
00:52:16Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:52:19Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:52:20Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:52:24Come on, Piper.
00:52:25Okay, let me see.
00:52:32I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:52:36But that's not true.
00:52:38You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:52:42Uh...
00:52:42Daddy!
00:52:43No!
00:52:45Well...
00:52:51Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:52:55Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:00Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:02Really?
00:53:02Please stay, Daddy.
00:53:07You think you will scar?
00:53:10Hmm.
00:53:13I wouldn't worry about it.
00:53:15Scars make you look like a badass.
00:53:16I have one, too.
00:53:18Dad.
00:53:20I got that when I was about your age.
00:53:22Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:53:25Really?
00:53:26No way.
00:53:27No.
00:53:28It was actually a cactus.
00:53:29But it's still cool.
00:53:32I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:53:38Piper, how long have you had that?
00:53:40My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:53:42And how old are you?
00:53:49Six.
00:53:50Six?
00:53:51That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:53:54Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:53:56Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:53:58What do I even say?
00:54:02And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:54:04Sorry, honey.
00:54:05This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:54:09Um, yeah.
00:54:11Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:54:15Eva.
00:54:20Okay, look.
00:54:24Piper is...
00:54:24Go on.
00:54:36Ah, must be an emergency.
00:54:39Excuse me.
00:54:40Sorry.
00:54:41I'll take this.
00:54:48Mommy, are you okay?
00:54:50Yeah.
00:54:52Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:54:55I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:55:00Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:55:02I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:55:06She's a high school dropout.
00:55:08Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:55:10And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:55:13I'm Eva's husband, Max.
00:55:14That man has no idea what a treasure.
00:55:18He's missing out on.
00:55:23I'm sorry, Max.
00:55:24You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:55:26Your mother would take her away.
00:55:28After Christmas, it's over.
00:55:32Eva?
00:55:34Maximus?
00:55:34Are you even listening to me?
00:55:37No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:55:38I'm sorry, okay?
00:55:39Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:55:42I'm not leaving her.
00:55:44Eva?
00:55:45Eva?
00:55:48Oh, thank you.
00:55:51Here I need that.
00:55:53Ha, ha.
00:55:54For me?
00:55:55Oh, thank you, Mom.
00:55:56This is for you, Grandma.
00:56:02Oh, wow.
00:56:04That's so cool.
00:56:05Did you know?
00:56:07Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:56:10Oh, thank you so much.
00:56:12Just glad you're here.
00:56:14Oh, wow.
00:56:18Damn, these are nice.
00:56:20Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:56:28Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:56:30It's in the other room by the train set.
00:56:32Here, I'll go with you.
00:56:33Remember the song that we sang?
00:56:34Ready, ready?
00:56:35Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:56:38What do we got, guys?
00:56:38Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:56:41You never told me.
00:56:49Have we met before?
00:56:54Have we met before?
00:56:57She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:59I don't know what you're getting at.
00:57:05Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:57:16I don't know what you're talking about.
00:57:18Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:57:19They're very common.
00:57:20I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:57:23No matter how I feel about him.
00:57:27Maybe.
00:57:28Are you okay?
00:57:34Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:57:37No.
00:57:38I'm fine.
00:57:40Oh, I almost forgot.
00:57:45I got you this.
00:57:47You got me a gift, too?
00:57:49Tis the season.
00:57:50Open it.
00:57:51Gloves.
00:58:06Did you make these?
00:58:08Yeah.
00:58:09I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:58:12You've already done so much for me.
00:58:14I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:58:18How do they feel?
00:58:20Warm, right?
00:58:22Yeah.
00:58:23Warm.
00:58:25Soft.
00:58:28Perfect.
00:58:29Thank you, Eva.
00:58:35I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:58:39Really?
00:58:40Yeah, my mom.
00:58:42She partied all the time.
00:58:43And I got gifts.
00:58:45Plenty of them, but...
00:58:47I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:58:50Nothing personal.
00:58:53Well, you deserve it.
00:58:55You're a good guy.
00:58:57And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
00:59:04What if that day's today?
00:59:09What if I already found someone special?
00:59:14Right here.
00:59:34Max, we can't...
00:59:41If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
00:59:49Come on.
00:59:51I don't want you to stop.
00:59:58No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:01I don't want you.
01:00:16No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:31Piper!
01:00:41Piper?
01:00:44She can't see him.
01:01:02Eva?
01:01:06Grandma, I'm up here!
01:01:20That was way too close.
01:01:22Yeah.
01:01:23We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:01:25Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:01:33Can I still unwrap my present?
01:01:37You still haven't given me mine.
01:01:44Let me give it to you.
01:01:55Let me give it to you.
01:01:57Let me give it to you.
01:02:23Who is calling me this morning?
01:02:28Hello?
01:02:29Hello, Eva Smith.
01:02:31I'm Max's mother.
01:02:32Name your price.
01:02:33What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:02:37What?
01:02:38We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:02:41Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:02:45My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:02:49Piper is my daughter.
01:02:51And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:02:54So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:02:56But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:03:01Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:03:07You okay?
01:03:12Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:03:13So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:03:19What are you talking about?
01:03:21It's over.
01:03:22It's not that hard to understand.
01:03:27Eva, wait!
01:03:32So last night meant nothing to you?
01:03:33Well, Max, it's not real. None of it was real.
01:03:43So, this is just a goodbye?
01:03:47Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:03:50Look.
01:03:52Last night, I let my guard down.
01:03:56But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:03:59And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:04:02Just tell me what you need.
01:04:04I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:04:07a good father.
01:04:09Just say the word.
01:04:15You don't get it.
01:04:17You don't get it.
01:04:18I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:04:32I won't give up on us.
01:04:49Are we here?
01:04:51Yes.
01:04:53As much as I don't want us to be,
01:04:55we're back.
01:04:59Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:05:01Rome.
01:05:06How can she just walk away?
01:05:15Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:05:16It's part of the agreement, too.
01:05:19Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:05:22You promised.
01:05:24Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:05:26Can you do this for me, please?
01:05:29Alright, fine.
01:05:31When?
01:05:33Two days.
01:05:35I'll come pick you up.
01:05:36No need.
01:05:38Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:05:39I know you and mommy thought,
01:05:41but she still really likes you.
01:05:43So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:05:45Thank you, sweetie.
01:05:46If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:05:47I always fight for the ones I love.
01:05:48I still don't really like you.
01:05:49So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:05:50Thank you, sweetie.
01:05:52If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:05:54I always fight for the ones I love.
01:05:57for the ones I love.
01:06:19Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:06:21Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:06:24Boss?
01:06:25Boss?
01:06:27I'm so sorry.
01:06:30I need to go win back my family.
01:06:33Family?
01:06:34Boss you okay?
01:06:35Never better.
01:06:36Go get her Max.
01:06:40Give it your best smile, and...
01:06:42Ah, there he is.
01:06:45Maximus, darling.
01:06:47I have some prospects for you.
01:06:49Nice high society girls from the city.
01:06:53I can't wait for a minute.
01:06:55I can't wait for a minute.
01:06:56the city. Oh. I told you, I already found the woman I love. Maximus, stop this. That evil woman is
01:07:15scamming you, son. Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another. You are heir
01:07:22to the Harrison dynasty. No, I'm not. Oh. I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:07:31I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father. What?
01:07:37Oh, that's her. The woman who got my son head over heels. Hi, welcome in. Can I help you
01:07:59find something? I want to try those. Awesome. I'll get them for you right away. Are you
01:08:08sure you wouldn't want something more sensible? No, no, no. I know what I want. Size seven.
01:08:19Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels. Come on. She wants the white shoes.
01:08:29Ignore her. She's just grumpy over the holidays. Um, here, let me help you. Come on.
01:08:39She seems kind.
01:08:46I shouldn't be that impressed. She's just doing her job.
01:08:52How do they feel? Well, I love the style, but it's too small. I think I need a size up.
01:08:59Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:09:04Right away. I'll be right back.
01:09:06She's not only kind, she's patient. Was I wrong about her?
01:09:10Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:09:29Well, who gives a shit? She can't walk.
01:09:32That's just pure evil.
01:09:40Oh, come on, St. Eva. She's in a wheelchair. Who cares? It's the last pair. I get paid commission.
01:09:49I am not doing that, Vanessa.
01:09:57See?
01:09:59This is your whole problem.
01:10:02This is why you'll always be broke.
01:10:04Look, I don't care if she can walk or not. I'm not selling her junk.
01:10:11She has to deal with people like this? People who insult her all day?
01:10:17I'm your manager.
01:10:18Sell the old bitty the shoes, or you're fired.
01:10:31Did I stutter?
01:10:36You don't have to fire me.
01:10:38I quit.
01:10:46I don't work here anymore.
01:10:49Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:10:52They're broken. Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:10:55You're a good person, after all.
01:10:59Looks like I misjudged you.
01:11:01I'm sorry?
01:11:02I'm sorry?
01:11:02Why are you still here, Eva?
01:11:06Get out.
01:11:13You're not disabled?
01:11:14Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:19Absolutely shameful.
01:11:21Who are you?
01:11:23I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group, and the owner of this store.
01:11:29You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:11:31Mother of the CEO?
01:11:33I am.
01:11:35And you, my dear, are fired.
01:11:38What did I do?
01:11:42You are a good person.
01:11:45From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:11:51Are you serious?
01:11:54That's right.
01:11:56Don't be nervous, child.
01:11:57You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:12:07You.
01:12:08Out.
01:12:10I'll leave.
01:12:13I'm leaving.
01:12:14I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:12:20No, don't worry.
01:12:23You're getting a promotion.
01:12:25You deserve it, my dear.
01:12:29First assignment.
01:12:31I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:12:37Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:12:40Okay, yeah.
01:12:44Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:12:47I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:12:57She's the mother of a CEO.
01:12:59Of course she lives like this.
01:13:00Mrs. Harrison?
01:13:12I'm here with your delivery.
01:13:16Max?
01:13:17Eva.
01:13:19What are you doing here?
01:13:22I, uh...
01:13:23There you are, Eva.
01:13:24Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:13:29My new daughter-in-law.
01:13:32What are you talking...
01:13:34That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:13:41Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:13:43Stop!
01:13:44And you, you lied to me at the store.
01:13:48You were both just testing me?
01:13:51Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:13:53I'm sorry, Eva.
01:13:54I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:13:58But I was wrong.
01:14:00Eva, please.
01:14:00I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:14:03Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:14:06How could you think that of me?
01:14:08It's not like that, dear.
01:14:10Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:12Mom, what did you do?
01:14:14I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:14:17We're not together.
01:14:19And I can't love something that was never real.
01:14:21I made a horrible mistake.
01:14:29What are you waiting for, son?
01:14:30Go after her!
01:14:35Eva.
01:14:36Let me go!
01:14:37I swear, it's not what you think.
01:14:39Look, we come from two completely different worlds.
01:14:41Stop pretending like you care.
01:14:42I'm not pretending!
01:14:44Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:14:45And everything I've done for you, and Piper,
01:14:48this is real.
01:14:51Touch my wife again,
01:14:55and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:14:58Max, you came.
01:15:00God, you are driving me fucking insane.
01:15:04I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:15:07a good father.
01:15:08Just say the word.
01:15:09See?
01:15:15Stop fighting.
01:15:18We belong together.
01:15:21You're wrong.
01:15:22Wrong about what?
01:15:24That you care?
01:15:26Or we belong together?
01:15:28Look, I already told you.
01:15:29We're from two completely different worlds.
01:15:32Now, I held up my end of the deal,
01:15:33and I met your mother,
01:15:34like we discussed.
01:15:36I don't want to fake divorce
01:15:37from my fake husband.
01:15:42Eva.
01:15:45Eva!
01:15:48I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:15:50Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:15:52Ow!
01:16:01Are you okay, Mommy?
01:16:03Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:16:06Come here.
01:16:14No, you're not fine.
01:16:16You're sad.
01:16:17Oh.
01:16:19I'm okay, sweetie.
01:16:20I miss Daddy, too.
01:16:27I want Max to be my real Daddy.
01:16:32Don't you want to be with him?
01:16:35I'm a bug.
01:16:37You're right.
01:16:39What am I doing?
01:16:40Running like a coward?
01:16:43I always taught you to be brave.
01:16:46Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:16:48I believe in you.
01:16:50What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:16:53I know exactly what to say to him.
01:16:58Maximus deserves to know
01:16:59Piper is his daughter.
01:17:08Enough sulking.
01:17:10Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:17:13Don't you think I want to?
01:17:16She doesn't want me.
01:17:17I didn't raise you to give up.
01:17:19Your daughter is still out there.
01:17:21You can't abandon her.
01:17:22Mom, you don't get it.
01:17:24I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:17:27And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:17:31What are you talking about?
01:17:33I already ran a DNA test.
01:17:36Piper is your daughter.
01:17:39What?
01:17:40See for yourself.
01:17:41I was right.
01:17:48Seven years ago.
01:17:50New Year's, that woman was Eva.
01:18:03Eva!
01:18:05Hey.
01:18:07Daddy!
01:18:09Daddy!
01:18:09Piper!
01:18:13I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:18:21You came back.
01:18:24I, uh...
01:18:27Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:18:30I, uh, I was scared.
01:18:39But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:18:42Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:18:46Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:18:49I have something to tell you, too.
01:18:53Piper is your daughter.
01:18:55You knew.
01:18:57My sweet granddaughter.
01:18:59Grandma.
01:19:00Oh.
01:19:03Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:19:06But you've known this whole time?
01:19:07I was scared.
01:19:09Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:19:11I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:19:14How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:16I love you, Eva.
01:19:31I love you, too.
01:19:32I promise.
01:19:35For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:19:39As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:19:52Will you marry me, Eva?
01:19:54For real this time?
01:19:56Yeah, yes.
01:19:58Yes, of course.
01:19:59I'll marry you.
01:20:03Yes.
01:20:05Hi.
01:20:12Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas,
01:20:14and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:20:19I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:20:21Who's that?
01:20:28Eva!
01:20:31Take me back!
01:20:34I'm sorry!
01:20:35I struck your tire!
01:20:39Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:20:42Again.
01:20:45No?
01:20:46Not funny?
01:20:46No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:47No?
01:20:48No?
01:20:48No?
01:20:48No?
01:20:49No?
01:20:49No?
01:20:49No?
01:20:50No?
01:20:51No?
01:20:52No?
01:20:53No?
01:20:54No?
01:20:55No?
01:20:56No?
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