- 4 weeks ago
6 6 6 the number of the beast and the number of Home Alone movies that now exist!
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00:00Today's review has been brought to you by the Red Ribbon Reviewers.
00:03Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a safe New Year.
00:20Boy, Central Park, huh?
00:22During the Christmas season, it gets really packed with people.
00:25But you know what? It's better to have people than to have birds, am I right?
00:31Plaza Hotel, New York's most mid-Manhattan hotel experience.
00:48Feckin' birds. Shouldn't they be flying south for the winter?
00:55Oh, crimity Christmas.
01:10First there's birds, then there's people, now there's bird people?
01:15What do you think I'm gonna do?
01:16Go out of this tunnel and run them all over with my car?
01:19Heh heh. I'm not gonna spoil my lovely green paint and red stripes for you.
01:25Wait, my car's silver. What am I talking about?
01:27Oh, let's talk about Home Alone.
01:30This year marks the 35th anniversary of the 1990 Christmas classic, Home Alone.
01:37Eight-year-old Kevin McAllister, played by Macaulay Culkin,
01:40gets accidentally left behind in his Chicago mansion on Christmas,
01:43while the rest of his family go to Paris.
01:45While there, he has to fend off against two bumbling burglars named Harry and Marv,
01:51with a series of traps he sets up all around his house.
01:54It's a fun, funny, and heartwarming movie,
01:57with great performances by Culkin as Kevin,
01:59and Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci as the two burglars.
02:02And hey, Joe Pesci can be a funny guy.
02:05I mean, not like funny like a clown.
02:08He does amuse me.
02:10I'm not gonna get involved in this.
02:12And director Chris Columbus says he has no plans of ever doing a reboot.
02:17Aye, probably because it's been remade five times already.
02:21Home Alone 2, Lost in New York, released in 1992,
02:24is what many consider to be a soft remake.
02:27It uses a lot of the same elements of the first movie.
02:30Similar plot lines, similar characters,
02:33and even some of the traps are reused.
02:35I do like it better than the original,
02:37because I think it's a bit more adventurous with the New York setting.
02:40The jokes land a lot better,
02:42and also Tim Curry is absolutely brilliant in his role.
02:46But after this is where everything goes downhill.
02:50Home Alone 3 just wasn't funny,
02:52and Alex D. Linz was a lame replacement for Kevin.
02:55So when the previously reviewed Home Alone 4 came out,
02:59these fools tried feverishly to make it a direct sequel to the first two.
03:03Except the actors barely resembled the original characters,
03:07and again, it's the same formula as the original.
03:10What was the point?
03:12Hell, the movie was so bad that even Culkin himself went on Red Letter Media
03:16and did a whole review of this thing.
03:19Yeah, really.
03:20What does it tell you when the literal face of your franchise comes out and says,
03:24Yeah, your movie kind of sucks, guys.
03:26Do better next time.
03:27Well, they kind of did, I guess.
03:312012's The Holiday Heist tries to different things up by having two protagonists,
03:35and they even had mad mod Malcolm McDowell as one of the villains,
03:39but for the most part, I was just bored with it.
03:42It's the same formula again,
03:44but with some updated tech mumbo-jumbo to show that they're with the times or something.
03:49Also, given that Peter Hewitt hasn't made a good movie since The Borrowers,
03:52maybe he's compensating for something.
03:55But this wouldn't be the last Home Alone film,
03:57as in 2021, Dan Mazur of Borat fame decided to have his own crack at making a Home Alone movie,
04:04thus giving us Home Sweet Home Alone on Disney+.
04:07So the big question has to be answered.
04:11How much AI was actually used in the script of this movie?
04:15Well, let's find out.
04:17This is Home Sweet Home Alone, a.k.a. Home Alone 6, a.k.a. Why is this franchise still going?
04:25Roll the footage.
04:27Well, I'll give the intro to this.
04:29I do like the zoom in on the Home Alone house with the ice effect.
04:32It looks pretty cool.
04:33We immediately cut to a house in Chicago where we meet our two heroes of the film,
04:39Jeff and Pam McKenzie, played by Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper.
04:44Just want to be careful, because if those are load-bearing walls and you knock one down,
04:48the whole place could collapse.
04:49Hell yeah, people!
04:50We got Peter from Deadpool as our hero.
04:53We should be in good hands.
04:55Also, holy crap, Kenan Thompson is in this movie, too?
04:58Wow, not even two minutes in, and already this movie has more star power than the last three films?
05:06Unfortunately, we're also introduced to the, ahem, villain of this movie, Max Mercer, played by Archie Yates.
05:13You may recognize him as the nerdy Nazi kid Yorkie in Jojo Rabbit,
05:17and he was also the voice of Jojo Potato in Amphibia.
05:21Speaking of Amphibia, you know Brenda Song, the voice actor of Anne Bonshoy on the show?
05:27Did you know she and Macaulay Culkin are a thing?
05:30Yeah, really.
05:31There's a power couple I wasn't expecting.
05:34Kev-An.
05:39So, do you have a boyfriend back home?
05:41Ow!
05:42Max immediately makes his presence known when he's riding with his mom, Carol, played by Isley Bia.
05:48She's the Kate McAllister of the film.
05:50Kind of.
05:51Really?
05:52Did you see how many deviled eggs he had for lunch?
05:54Six soda refills into one tiny ten-year-old's bladder does not go.
05:59I'm...
05:59Ugh.
06:01Ugh.
06:02Literally the first scene he's in, and already he's trying to do his best John Travolta impression.
06:08I can't talk too long.
06:09I gotta poo.
06:11Uh, cool dolls.
06:14Uh, uh, well, uh, they're not mine.
06:17Um, they belonged to my mother.
06:20Sure they did.
06:21Oh, come on, kid.
06:22You clearly have your own Naruto plushie collection as well.
06:26So, yeah, Max fucking sucks.
06:29I mean, sure, Kevin started off as kind of a brat, but you do side with him after the pizza and milk incident with Buzz.
06:35Max, on the other hand, is...
06:38He's like what would happen if you crossed Harry Potter with an internet troll.
06:41And we're gonna lose our home because Harry's stinking Potter comes into our house and steals the only thing that can fix our problems?
06:48Hey, Chris Columbus, are we ever gonna get that Home Alone Harry Potter crossover?
06:52I mean, we did get one with AVGN.
06:55Why not have Kevin set up traps for J.K. Rowling?
06:57Max, on the other hand, is just an overall ungrateful jerk to everyone, including his mum.
07:06No McDonald's for you on the way home.
07:09What? Mum?
07:10You can't promise the King McDonald's and not deliver.
07:13What are you going to make me do?
07:15Eat Burger King?
07:16So, the crux of this movie is, Jeff has just lost his job, and since Pam's salary isn't enough to cover their expenses, they're trying to sell the house with Kenan as their realtor.
07:26However, they haven't told their kids, Chris and Abby, that yet.
07:30Parents of the year, yo.
07:32Yeah, I thought you were gonna call after the movie was over.
07:34Oh, no, we just took an Uber.
07:36Oh, yeah, get that Uber plug in there as well.
07:38We gotta get as much advertisement as we can possibly get so we actually can afford our house.
07:45Congratulations, man. You gotta take care of yourself.
07:47We're gonna get rid of that jelly belly, Dad, am I right?
07:49Get rid of that jelly belly.
07:51Oh, we're gonna put some muscle on that flat pancake butt.
07:53I'm gonna see y'all later, and I'm looking forward to that butt.
07:58You know, I always thought Kenan Thompson was rather neutered when he was on SNL,
08:02but if you look at all his past works on Nickelodeon and whatnot, he can be funny.
08:07When he wants to be.
08:10Too bad Kenan disappears halfway through.
08:13Why?
08:14We are trying to sell the house, Jeff.
08:17I mean, you're the one who said it's our only option, so I need you on my team, okay?
08:22I know. I know. I just, it's today.
08:26It felt real, and I didn't like it.
08:29Now, I will give this movie credit for trying something different.
08:32Have the adults be the sympathetic ones while the kid is the heel.
08:35I mean, if you watch these early scenes, you definitely feel bad for what Jeff and Pam are going through,
08:41with them struggling financially, and with the job market a complete mess.
08:45I mean, what else is there for them to do but sell their house?
08:49Surely Jeff and Pam will be two smart, well-rounded adults who won't make themselves out to be complete idiots, right?
08:55Because nobody likes a dumb baby face, right?
09:01Things don't get better when Jeff's brother Hunter and his wife May, played by Tim Simmons and Allie Makey respectively,
09:08decide to pay his failing brother a visit for the holiday alongside their kids Ollie and Abby.
09:12I mention this because it's going to be important later.
09:17Meanwhile, in product placement number 67, Jeff is browsing eBay when he discovers a doll similar to his mom's is being bid on for $200,000.
09:27Oh, yeah, $200,000 for a baby Jake Tucker doll. Clearly a collector's item.
09:32Unfortunately, Jeff can't seem to find the doll, and then comes to the conclusion that Max might have taken it when he was at his house.
09:40He finds Max's extended family about to leave for Tokyo for the holiday, minus Carol, who took an early flight,
09:47while Max fell asleep in the garage after getting away from the party.
09:51Why do you nudniks have so much milk in the fridge?
10:01Is that supposed to be a euphemism for how much you're milking this franchise?
10:07It would be funny if it actually made sense.
10:10So this shouldn't be a hard thing to do.
10:13Jeff should just ask Max's family if he can check the house and see if they have the doll.
10:17Or he can just stand around like an idiot while they set up the security system, drive away, and then fuck off.
10:24By the way, the security system?
10:27Macalester Home Security.
10:30Gee, I wonder if there's a connection to the original film somehow.
10:35Spoiler alert, it's not the only one.
10:38Meanwhile, Max discovers that he's dun-dun-dun, home alone, and makes the best of it.
10:45And, uh, well, the Scarface parody is funny, I guess.
10:49But good lord, this kid has no swagger whatsoever.
10:53He is, in fact, not, to quote Pam, lit.
11:01Oh my gosh, this is so terrible.
11:03Cut back to the Mackenzie house, where Chris and Hunter take the time to watch...
11:07Angels with Filthy Souls in Space?
11:10To get your ugly, yellow, no-good kisser...
11:14Ugh, this is garbage.
11:17I don't know why they were always trying to remake the classics.
11:20Never as good as the originals.
11:22Ha ha.
11:24And then immediately after that, Pam gets a flashback to years ago,
11:29while John Williams somewhere in my memory starts playing?
11:32Home sweet home.
11:36Mom, you've got to save our house.
11:38Seriously, no, just get the doll.
11:40It's just entering, Pam.
11:41We have the key.
11:42Pam, you have to call me.
11:44Call me, get me!
11:46No, storyline!
11:47Okay, slow the heck down for just a second.
11:50We get it, you're trying to be tongue-in-cheek every now and then,
11:53but two references in the same scene?
11:56Come on, guys, we get it.
11:58You're trying to be a Home Alone sequel.
12:00So finally, Jeff tells Pam about the doll,
12:04and they go to the Mercer's house to get it back,
12:06unknowing that Max is still in the house.
12:09Max overhears them and believes they're talking about sending him away instead of the doll.
12:13Here come the grannies!
12:16Gertrude, he's perfect worth every penny!
12:26Boy, all these fantasy sequences really remind me of the ones from A Christmas Story.
12:31Ooh, so when do we get to see the one where Max gets his mouth washed out with soap?
12:36Jeff sees what he thinks is the doll in Max's jacket,
12:39but Max ends up calling the police,
12:41and Jeff runs away like a little bitch,
12:43only to be confronted by officer...
12:46Buzz, buzz, buzz.
12:57Yep, turns out Kevin's older brother grew up to become a professional trout sniffer.
13:02Who knew?
13:03Your home alarm's been triggered.
13:05Yeah, well, the code is our anniversary, so...
13:09I'm sure you never forget your anniversary, do you?
13:11No ring on this finger, ma'am.
13:13You didn't even get to marry your girlfriend?
13:15Woof!
13:16Okay, so Jeff and Pam explain to Buzz that Max took his mother's doll,
13:20and they're just trying to get it back,
13:22and it's all just a big misunderstanding...
13:24What do you mean that's not what happens?
13:26No!
13:27Instead, Pam just makes up this bullshit claim that it's their house,
13:31and their security system is botchy.
13:34Um, yeah, where's your license and proof of house ownership, then?
13:37I mean, this whole mix-up could easily be resolved with some explanation,
13:41but then the movie would be over.
13:43So now, onward we go!
13:46Buzz then lets them off with a warning,
13:48much to Max's chagrin,
13:49and then we get this horseshit.
13:51And then, like, people broke into my house, and, like, like, I think they...
13:56Are you saying your parents left you home alone?
14:01Alone?
14:02Alone?
14:03Tidal drop!
14:05Tidal drop!
14:06Tidal drop!
14:08Maybe the police is a bad idea.
14:10Ha-ha!
14:11Preaching to the choir, Max!
14:12You think law enforcement's a joke now?
14:14Just wait until 2025!
14:17Meanwhile, there's trouble in Tokyo,
14:19as Carol finds out that Max has been left behind,
14:22and begins her journey back to Chicago.
14:25I don't really have much to say about her character, unfortunately.
14:29She's just blank-faced most of the time.
14:31Compare her to Catherine O'Hara,
14:33who actually looked and sounded genuinely concerned about leaving her son behind.
14:38Carol just looks like she forgot her reading glasses.
14:41There's just nothing to her.
14:42All right, so the next night,
14:44Jeff and Pam again feverishly try to get the doll back.
14:47It goes about as well as you'd expect.
14:54Well, after a guy farted lightning in the third movie,
14:58can we expect anything less?
15:00Yeah, I think it's safe to say it.
15:03Jeff and Pam are fucking idiots.
15:05Their house and their family are on the line,
15:08and they're taking the most ridiculous,
15:10galaxy-brained ways possible to get this stupid doll.
15:14And we're supposed to be rooting for these people?
15:16I mean, look back at the other movies.
15:19You had the Wet Bandits,
15:20Marvin, Harry,
15:21two bumbling burglars robbing rich people
15:23and stealing orphanage money.
15:24Bastards.
15:25The third movie,
15:26it was four terrorists trying to get a microchip,
15:29and in the fifth movie,
15:30it was an expensive painting.
15:32Here?
15:32It's a stupid fucking doll
15:35with an upside-down head
15:36that belongs to Jeff's mom
15:38that may or may not even be worth anything.
15:41Just go to Max,
15:43ask him if he has the doll,
15:44and go on your merry way.
15:46This shouldn't be difficult.
15:48You don't even have to tell him it costs money.
15:50Just say it came from Walmart or something.
15:53But no!
15:54It's time for Max to set up the traps,
15:56and holy crap,
15:58they actually brought back
15:59John Williams setting up the traps music?
16:01Ho-ho!
16:02Call me surprised!
16:04I actually do like the editing in this scene, though.
16:07All the weird transitions
16:08and fade-in effects on all the props.
16:10Looks cool.
16:12So, after enduring more of Hunter and May's nonsense,
16:15Jeff and Pam head out for the big heist,
16:17and Max unleashes his traps.
16:20And now, ladies and gentlemen,
16:22it is time for my theme song, TakeOver.
16:27I mean, why not?
16:28This is a Disney Plus movie after all, right?
16:31Roll the music!
16:42Got hit with sugar and milk
16:44and fell down a flight of stairs.
16:46Broke my tooth, but luckily,
16:48we have free dental health care.
16:50So I ate cookies with hot sauce
16:51and took a cue ball to the brains.
16:54Wore some virtual goggles, whoa!
16:56And crashed into a shuffle of picture frames.
16:58Got some darts to the face
16:59and some fire and water, too.
17:01Then a treadmill hit me with some weight balls.
17:04Why are we going for that coat?
17:06Jumped off of a balcony
17:07onto a trampoline like a catapult.
17:10Stepped onto some Legos.
17:11Cast out across the floor.
17:13I've given up yet for I get thirsty for more.
17:17Oh my gosh, this is so terrible.
17:20So after all that madness, mayhem, and property damage,
17:23Jeff and Pam finally confront Max,
17:25and it's revealed he never actually had the doll,
17:29and they weren't trying to kidnap him,
17:31just the doll.
17:32Wait, where are your parents?
17:35Tuck here.
17:38Sweetie.
17:39Um, excuse me.
17:40Literally five minutes ago,
17:42you were on this bloodthirsty, murderous rampage
17:45trying to get this stupid doll
17:46and trying to get revenge on this kid,
17:49and now you're showing sympathy?
17:52You come out here
17:53and try to get the sympathy of the people,
17:56but you don't get my sympathy at all.
18:00Oh, and then a chandelier breaks
18:01and impales all three of them.
18:03The end.
18:04Actually, no, it isn't,
18:05because after apologizing,
18:07Jeff and Pam invite Max back to their house,
18:10sort out all their issues,
18:11and finally tell the kids
18:13that they have to sell the house.
18:14But what about the doll?
18:16Turns out Hunter's son, Ollie,
18:18had it the whole time.
18:20You little jerk.
18:22Meaning this whole thing
18:23was a complete waste of time.
18:25It was all just a misunderstanding
18:26and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
18:29And then we get the big climax
18:31where Ollie throws the doll
18:33and sends everybody reeling,
18:36but Max is able to save the doll
18:37from sheer destruction
18:38and saves our heroes their 200 grand.
18:41Yay, the day has been saved
18:44thanks to fat Harry Potter.
18:46Woo!
18:46Oh, and Max's mom comes home,
18:49and I guess this is supposed to be heartwarming,
18:52but Kevin and Kate, this is not.
18:55She's been a nothing character this whole time,
18:58and I don't care.
18:59And so the movie ends one year later
19:01with the two families having a nice Christmas dinner,
19:04with the doll having paid off everything,
19:06and Max finally getting his orange soda.
19:08You know, speaking of orange soda,
19:11what the hell ever happened to Kenan?
19:13Or hell, what even happened to Buzz?
19:16Guess what?
19:17The place had a Macalester home alarm system.
19:21Oh, gee, the coincidence?
19:24I don't think so.
19:26Nice try, Kevin.
19:29Nice try.
19:32Trout snapper.
19:33Ah, poor Buzz.
19:35Alone on the beat
19:36while his brother is a successful businessman
19:38doing reviews with internet celebrities.
19:43Yeah, this movie's complete bullshit.
19:45Now, from a technical standpoint,
19:47I will say this,
19:48it's better made than the last two.
19:51The editing is a bit tighter,
19:53and there are some interesting effects work here and there.
19:56Hell, I could argue this movie has the best trap
19:58since at least the second movie,
19:59but the writing is what absolutely kills it.
20:03These two morons are so desperate to help their family
20:06that they're going to the absolute ridiculous extreme lengths
20:09without thinking properly of their own actions
20:11all over a stupid doll that,
20:14shock of all shocks,
20:15Max never even had.
20:17The movie even goes to extreme lengths
20:19to reference the older movies,
20:20even bringing back Buzz for a cameo
20:23that doesn't even go anywhere.
20:25I don't even have that much to say about the other cast.
20:27Kenan has some funny scenes,
20:29but he's gone halfway through.
20:31Jeff and Pam have their moments, I guess.
20:34Max gets annoying very quickly,
20:36and I could give a rat's ass
20:38about any of the other family members,
20:39because there's nothing to them.
20:41There were rumors that Culkin
20:42was going to be making an appearance,
20:44but he later dropped these claims.
20:46He even actually came up with an idea for a sequel
20:48where Kevin is an adult with a kid,
20:51and he does some traps on him,
20:53kind of like a Turnabout's Fair Play kind of deal.
20:55Also, apparently he wanted to make Kevin a widower?
20:58Pfft, rest in peace, Kev-an.
21:01Truth be told, I actually had my own idea
21:04where they do a TV series,
21:05kind of like Cobra Kai,
21:07and they bring back all the actors from the other films
21:09and set up traps for,
21:11I don't know, terrorists or something.
21:13I don't know.
21:14Something that isn't rehashing the same thing
21:17over and over again.
21:18But no, everything must be rehashed
21:20because Hollywood continues to be fresh out of ideas.
21:24Hardcore headache.
21:25Anyway, it's getting late.
21:27I better get out of this tunnel
21:28before I'm stuck here for always and always and always.
21:32Or until I learn how to obey orders, I guess.
21:36Until next time, guys,
21:37Merry Christmas,
21:39peace out,
21:39and cease.
21:40Hey, bird people.
21:45I'm not afraid anymore.
21:47You hear me?
21:48I'm not afraid anymore.
21:51I said,
21:52I'm not afraid anymore.
22:06Jackpot.
22:06You hear me?
22:10I'm not afraid anymore.
22:15Everyone has one.
22:15Iください.
22:16HeForcas.
22:17You hear me now.
22:17You hear me?
22:18I'm not afraid.
22:19Do you all?
22:19Just wait.
22:20Do you know,
22:20if people hear me?
22:21Do you want to let mock IoT?
22:22Do you want to brew it?
22:23Oh, surely?
22:24Let go.
22:24Do youogyemy?
22:24Do you know what?
22:25Do you know?
22:26Does a 올 use Kasik?
22:27Do you know what they're trying to do?
22:28To be careful.
22:29Do you want toologne over again?
22:29I'm not afraid.
22:31Hmmm.
22:32Do you know what they're trying to do?
22:33You know?
22:34Do you know what they're asking?