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Words Plus Music S01e04

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Transcript
00:00Hi, I'm Alanis Morissette, and these are my words and music.
00:30I'm broke but I'm happy, I'm poor but I'm kind, I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah, I'm high
00:53but I'm grounded, I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed, I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby.
01:03And what it all comes down to, you said everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine.
01:15Cause I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.
01:27I'm drunk but I'm sober, I'm young and I'm underpaid, I'm tired but I'm working, yeah.
01:43I care but I'm restless, I'm here but I'm really gone, I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby.
01:57And what it all comes down to, you said everything's gonna be quite hard.
02:09Cause I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is flicking a cigarette.
02:20I want to make my pocket and the other one is flicking a cigarette.
02:38What all comes down to
02:57Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
03:04Yeah, yeah, yeah
03:07I'm free but I'm focused
03:24I'm green but I'm wise
03:28I'm hard but I'm friendly
03:31I'm sad but I'm laughing
03:38I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
03:42I'm sick but I'm pretty
03:45And what it all boils down to
03:51Is it no one's really got it figured out just yet
03:59Yeah, yeah, yeah
04:01Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
04:06And the other one is saying I'm piano
04:14And what it all comes down to
04:18My dear friends
04:20Yeah, yeah
04:21You said everything is just
04:24Fine, fine, fine, fine
04:27Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
04:33And the other one is having a texical
04:37guitar solo
04:46¶¶
05:16¶¶
05:39I think we wrote Hand in My Pocket in about five minutes,
05:43and the vocals were the first take vocals
05:46for the demo, and we actually attempted to re-record it.
05:51We didn't attempt to, we did re-record it,
05:53and then we wound up using the demo itself,
05:56because it had this sort of ineffable quality to it.
05:59And that set a precedent for us to use the first or second take
06:02vocals from all the demos on the record.
06:05Glenn Ballard and I, who wrote it together,
06:07we hadn't formally begun yet,
06:09and I just wrote all the lyrics to Hand in My Pocket.
06:11And I just thought, it's an interesting portal into the conversation
06:15around how multitudinous we can be as humans,
06:17you know, that we have all these parts.
06:19You know, one part of me can be really inspired,
06:21another part can be exhausted on the floor,
06:23another part is pissed off at somebody,
06:25and they're all happening at the same time.
06:28So, in some ways, it's an invitation into investigating,
06:34for lack of a better term, who's in here,
06:38you know, what's going on in here.
06:39And part of being an artist for me is really getting into
06:42and tilling the soil and this interiority.
06:45It's terrifying in here.
06:46And I remember my son, who's now 14, when he was four,
06:49he was feeling all our feelings, and I said,
06:52let's see what's going on inside.
06:54And he said, I don't want to go in there, it's terrifying.
06:58And I said, well, you don't have to go in alone,
07:00I'll go in with you, you know.
07:02So, in some ways, Hand in My Pocket, all songs really for me,
07:05but is an invitation to know that we can be multiple things
07:09at all times.
07:11That's what makes life interesting to me.
07:14These songs, when I write them, I'm not thinking.
07:17And I'm alone in a room, so it's incredibly vulnerable,
07:21and I'm not in any kind of editing mode while I'm writing.
07:24I'm just, the music and lyrics are all happening
07:26at the same time.
07:28And I don't write them with a goal in mind.
07:31There's no manipulation around sharing it other than,
07:33it just feels mandatory to not only express myself,
07:36because I get depressed if I don't,
07:39but also just to share it.
07:40There's some elements of my calling
07:42that feels like public is okay,
07:44even though my temperament says, don't.
07:48So, there's that inner conflict again of, you know,
07:52I'm a poodle inside of a black stallion body.
07:55Like, when I wrote Hands Clean,
07:58the verses are about, I'm being spoken to
08:02by this person who the song's about,
08:04and then in the chorus is,
08:07it's basically a dialogue captured.
08:08And I love doing that in songs,
08:10where I can embody someone else,
08:11and voice their voice,
08:13and then have a communication with it.
08:15So, the only thing about songwriting for me,
08:18at first, I thought I was gonna get away with
08:20having all my healing happen in the songwriting process,
08:23but I quickly came to see that art making is very cathartic,
08:27but it's not healing, unless it's relational.
08:31So, that plan didn't work.
08:34It's an imperative to write.
08:36So, there's an urgency to it,
08:37even if the subject matter is soft or tender.
08:41There's an urgency to get the song out,
08:43and Glenn Ballard used to use the metaphor
08:44that he felt like I was hooking up to an IV unit
08:47when I was writing.
08:48Or Guy Sigsworth, I collaborated with him.
08:52He would say to me every day I came in,
08:53he'd say, well, what horse from the apocalypse
08:55is coming in today, Alas?
08:57And that's when they asked me to write a song
08:59that was a party song.
09:00My record company was like,
09:01we think it could be time for you to write a party song.
09:05I was like, oh yeah, I'll write a party song.
09:06I'll write about what it's like to be an introvert
09:08at a party, losing your mind.
09:10Anyway, that's when I covered my humps.
09:16It won't be my song that I wrote,
09:17but I could do someone else's party song.
09:21So, when it came time to shoot the video for it,
09:24my record company sat down with me,
09:25and they said, we really,
09:27we think it'd be really sweet
09:28if we brought in a bunch of like 12-year-olds,
09:29and then it's karaoke, and, and I said,
09:32have you heard the song?
09:36So, there were 12-year-olds in the video,
09:37but, um, the empowered 12-year-olds.
09:41And I love hearing other people's interpretations
09:43of this song, hands clean in general.
09:45I remember someone came up to me and they said,
09:48I love that song you wrote about your lesbian teacher.
09:50It's so good.
09:54And I was like, which teacher?
09:55Because there were a few.
09:59But yeah, I don't correct anybody.
10:00It's not mine to be interpreted
10:01after it's out in the world, so.
10:04But when I'm writing,
10:05it's just sort of this channeled, unfettered experience,
10:08and then the sharing of it is just, you know,
10:10if there's something in this that resonates with you,
10:12use it.
10:13It's for you.
10:23If it weren't for your maturity,
10:26none of this would've happened.
10:29If you weren't so wise beyond your years,
10:32I would've been able to control myself.
10:34And if it weren't for my attention,
10:37you wouldn't have been successful.
10:40And if, if it weren't for me,
10:43you would never have amounted to very much.
10:46Oh, this could get messy, but you, you, you don't seem to mind.
10:58And, oh, don't go telling everybody,
11:04Don't look this supposed crime.
11:14And we'll fast forward to a few years later,
11:17and no one knows except the both of us.
11:22And I have honored your request for silence
11:30And you've washed your hands clean
11:35This, you're essentially an employee
11:39And I like you having to depend on me
11:43And you're a kind of protege
11:45And one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
11:49And I know you depend on me like a young thing would to guard you
11:56I know you sexualize me like a young thing would
12:00And I think I like it
12:02Oh, this could get messy
12:08But here you won't seem to my eye
12:14And oh, don't go tellin' everybody
12:19And overlook this supposed crime
12:25And we'll fast forward to a few years later on
12:32No one knows except the both of us
12:39And I have honored your request for silence
12:44And you've washed your hands clean
12:49Of the years
12:52What part of our history's reinvented
12:59And under rug sweat
13:04And what part of your memory
13:08Is so active
13:11And tends to forget
13:13What with this distance
13:15It seems so obvious
13:18Just make sure you don't tell on me
13:21Especially to members of your family
13:24And we best keep this to ourselves
13:27And not tell any members of our inner posse
13:30And I wish I could tell the world
13:33Cause you're such a pretty thing
13:34When you're done up properly
13:36And I might wanna marry you one day
13:39If you watch that weight
13:40And you keep your firm body
13:42And oh, this could get messy
13:48But you, you, you don't seem to mind
13:54And oh, don't go tellin' everybody
14:00And overlook this supposed crime
14:07And we'll fast forward to a few years later on
14:13And no one knows except the both of us
14:20And I have honored your request for silence
14:25And you've washed your hands clean
14:30Of this
14:36Oh-oh-oh
14:40Oh-oh-oh
14:46Oh-oh-oh
15:06Jagged Little Pill the musical allowed me to live my values pretty explicitly and what I mean by that is I was just working with people who I could lean on and they could lean on me and there were times where I would zoom in because I could see I was needed.
15:31It might have been a moment of psychological opinion needed or so I would weigh in when I could see that they needed support and when they didn't I would just lean back during the making of the musical.
15:43I just remember being in front of a whiteboard with Diablo Cody and Diane Paulus and Tom Kidd we were all in the room together and we'd be talking about the story and Diablo Cody is the first person to say that these characters were born from the songs so I think that's why there's a cohesiveness to the musical.
15:59It was a dream come true in terms of collaboration and relaxing because in some ways I wasn't carrying at all it was us as a collective we all really collaborated in a way that I had always spoken about and talked about it being the ideal relational artistic experience but this took it to a whole other level.
16:18When Glenn and I wrote ironic this was the first of the songs written for the whole record and I wasn't writing wildly autobiographically quite yet more sort of storytelling getting to know Glenn and at one point I didn't want the song in the record because I thought that it was sort of for lack of a better term our warm-up you know but I love the song so it's not that I had any issues with it but I just thought that was one of the last songs where I wasn't entirely talking about it.
16:36sort of that inside out approach so um but people got really triggered by the malapropism or whatever the word um I am a linguist I'm obsessed with linguisticisms.
16:48um I also love making up words and I also don't care uh so navigating those three is fun.
17:00where I go when people are triggered by anything is I quickly go to what's at the epicenter of this what is what is everyone really up in arms about why is everyone laughing um and I think we're afraid to look stupid so I think because who
17:28who is a linguist and then misuses a word you know what kind of person does that is where I go um but I wasn't being precious about it and I think a lot of lyrics around the planet many many artists most of us aren't being wildly precious about it um so I'm 90 percent grammar police which is the real irony uh and then 10 percent I really couldn't care less so I think the 10 percent won over on that song.
18:26Chardonnay
18:28The death of pardon
18:31Two minutes to leave
18:34Isn't it ironic?
18:36Don't you think
18:39It's like
18:45The free
18:49When you've already paid
18:51It's the God of all yours
18:55That you just didn't take
18:58And who ever thought it figures
19:04Mr. Play it safe
19:07Was a great fly
19:09He packed his suitcase
19:12And kissed his kiss goodbye
19:15He waited his whole damn life
19:19To take that flight
19:21And as the plane crashed down
19:24He thought
19:25Well, isn't this nice
19:27And isn't it ironic
19:30Don't you think
19:33It's like rain
19:37When you're already paid
19:39To free
19:43When you're already paid
19:45It's the God of all yours
19:49That you just didn't take
19:52And who would've thought it figures
19:58Well, it was a funny way
20:00Of sneaking up on you
20:02When you think everything's okay
20:04And everything's going right
20:06And you're right
20:09Anyhow well
20:10There's a funny way
20:12Of helping you out
20:13When you think everything's gone wrong
20:15And everything blows up in your face
20:19A traffic jam
20:24When you're already late
20:26And no smoking sign
20:30On your cigarette break
20:33It's like 10,000 spoons
20:36When all you need is a knife
20:39It's meeting the man of my dreams
20:42And meeting his beautiful husband
20:45And isn't it ironic
20:49Don't you think
20:53A little too ironic
20:56And your really, really, really
20:59I think it's like rain
21:01When you're ready and day
21:05To free her heart
21:09When you've already paid
21:11The God of all yours
21:13that you just didn't take
21:18and who ever thought it figures
21:43Someone the other day asked me,
22:03so, you know, tell me some of the differences
22:05between performing in the 90s and performing now.
22:08And there are many differences,
22:10but the only one I really thought of off the top of my head was,
22:12now when I'm on stage, I do things like this.
22:15Woo!
22:17Whereas in the 90s, I was just like,
22:19Help me! Somebody help me!
22:22Now I'm just partying, apparently.
22:25There was a period of time in the 90s
22:27where I couldn't even look at anybody
22:29and I was really happy that the rooms were dark
22:31because the intimacy invitation was too much for me
22:35and now I can look at people for three seconds.
22:39Four next month. No, just kidding.
22:41No, there's more intimacy now and rest is just a declaration
22:46of what I wish for those I love the most,
22:48especially those who are mired in work addiction
22:51and productivity and achievement.
22:53You know, we live in a culture that says we're supposed to be productive
22:56and we're supposed to be all these things and yet all of these things,
22:59all these brass rings we're chasing can be debilitating to take that on.
23:05So we're caught between what we're being told externally to do
23:09and what our whole internal somatic body experience is telling us.
23:13So the best gift of getting older for me is that I implicitly trust my body now.
23:18So if I hear a request or anything and my body says no,
23:25well then there's the answer.
23:26I used to think I had to sort of intellectually back that up
23:28or, and now I just, if the body says no, then we're done.
23:32And then this song was also inspired by a lot of my acquaintances and friends,
23:40some of whom passed away just based on how intense it is to be an empath
23:45and an introvert in the public eye and a really sensitive person in the public eye.
23:49It's like there's this muscle of interiority and sensitivity
23:53that allows for art being made.
23:55And I remember Sinead O'Connor said this too, where she said,
23:57everyone loves the songs and the yields from us artists,
24:01but we're suffering, you know?
24:04And so for me, this song was sort of marking the suicidality
24:10that comes from how intense it is to be, to feel so deeply,
24:14in a world that sends a lot of very confusing messages to us.
24:18And there's no handbook for that.
24:19There's no handbook for fame.
24:21And there's no handbook for how to navigate fame
24:23if you're Kurt Cobain or if you're a sensitive creature, you know?
24:27I used to run around hoping to get a mentor of a kind, you know?
24:30I remember seeing Annie Lennox at the Brit Awards going,
24:33hi, you know, in the back of my mind thinking,
24:35will you be my mommy?
24:37She was like, so lovely to meet you, and then runs off.
24:39And I was like, oh, okay.
24:41I'll try again next time.
24:43What I kept, 90s were not about the sisterhood as such.
24:48But I kept trying to find someone who I could vent with or lean on,
24:52and it took a couple decades.
24:55So that, to me, that speaks to what the song Rest is about,
24:58that, you know, this one human being is giving so much,
25:03and then isolated in a way, because I thought fame would bring us all closer.
25:08But in some ways, it can actually kind of create this othering,
25:12which was really painful at first, but more on that some other time.
25:16I have a lot of empathy for so many artists, and I have a really sweet,
25:23now in 2025, 26 era, I just feel like I have a really sweet relationship
25:28with very sensitive artists, all genders.
25:31just, we do have a community now.
25:34And a lot of people who are in the bubble guy and challenged,
25:38I just invite them to reach out to me.
25:40Because I would be so happy to support you.
25:43Always relief givers
25:55The needle sure revs in the red
26:07Chemicals like hugs from
26:10Inside they feel like my best friend
26:22You think me a coward, but I am a warrior
26:27With many voices in my head
26:30When I looked around and I reached out
26:41I saw no alternative
26:51God rest
26:54God rest
26:56God rest
26:57Our souls
27:03And this substance
27:07Is the only comfort I know
27:17He's been pushing for a while
27:21Can we cut this man some slack and let him lie down
27:28Let him lie down
27:32We are a country dead spread for the embryonic
27:41I'm cold and I'm hungry and I yearn for a hand on my forehead
28:04You think it's a walk in the park and it's easy
28:08She's got it as good as it gets
28:18This misunderstanding's a lie between living and being the walking dead
28:31And God rest, God rest our souls
28:40And I take the last comfort I know
28:53She's been pushing for a while
29:02Can we cut this woman slack
29:05And let her lie down
29:09Let her lie down
29:12The more that you hurl at me
29:19The more I will curl up in my bed
29:23Where's the humanity
29:33Aren't we all hovering around the same end
29:40Door number one, two, and three
29:47Having promises
29:49That aren't really enough to be kept
29:53You wish me a speedy recovery
30:03But when you turn I climb the depths
30:08God rest
30:18God rest
30:19God, please rest our souls
30:25This is the surest exit I have known
30:36We've been hurting for a while
30:43Can we cut ourselves some slack
30:47And let us lie down
30:51Let them lie down
30:54Let her lie down
30:58Let me lie down
31:05I always feel like forgiveness is pushed too early
31:20You know, like I'll be really upset about something
31:23And someone will say
31:24Well, you're going to need to forgive
31:26Let me be angry for seven minutes
31:29And then I think forgiveness emerges naturally
31:32Like it's not something that I have to will myself
31:35And on a spiritual level too
31:37Like is there something to forgive?
31:38We're all just running around
31:40Stepping on each other's toes
31:41And some of us take responsibility
31:43And some of us don't
31:44And there are just effects and consequences to that
31:47And I'm just telling my kids how exciting it is
31:50To take responsibility
31:51How fun it is
31:52And how easy
31:54I just love anger so much
31:57I
31:58It gets such a bad rap
32:03I think it gets a bad rap obviously
32:05Because we
32:06Often we think
32:07When we hear anger
32:08We think destruction
32:09We think harm
32:11We think bullying
32:12We think murder
32:13Genocide
32:14Hate
32:15But it's inaccurate
32:17Because anger moves worlds
32:19Anger sets boundaries
32:20Anger underpins all activism that I do
32:23So it's really about transmuting it for our purposes
32:27And our goals
32:29You know
32:30And it's a fiery emotion
32:32And yes
32:33It could have people
32:34Who want to
32:35Punch people
32:36Or turn tables over
32:37But I always say to my kids
32:39I'm like
32:40Yeah I
32:41I
32:42I do want to punch that person
32:43But here's why I'm not going to
32:47So validating the emotion
32:49And then going in
32:50To be a socialized creature
32:51And play well in the sandbox with other people
32:53We don't actually punch people
32:55So
32:56I think they
32:58The record company at the time
32:59Wanted hand in my pocket first
33:01And I just remember thinking
33:06Women get reduced a lot
33:07Or women
33:08Whatever, humans
33:09We get reduced
33:10Like oh that person's the funny person
33:12And then we move on
33:13Or we just kind of reduce in general sometimes
33:16So I just thought
33:17If I'm going to be reduced to a feeling
33:20Which at the beginning
33:21If I'm going to be one dimensionalized
33:23Which is the
33:24It's inevitable in the public eye
33:26What would I want to be one dimensionalized as?
33:29Would I rather be
33:30Seen as the angry woman
33:33Or the
33:34People pleasing woman
33:35And all these are true anyway
33:36Um
33:37But I said
33:38I think anger
33:39Would be the most
33:40Fun
33:42So I really
33:43I mean I say
33:44I fought for it
33:45I didn't have to fight it
33:46I just was really
33:47Excited about
33:48You ought to know
33:49I remember writing the song
33:50And then I turned to Glenn
33:51And I said
33:52Obviously we're going to need to play with those lyrics
33:54And he said
33:56Why?
33:58And he said
33:59Is that what you mean?
34:00And I said
34:01Yes
34:02And he said
34:03Okay, well let's keep it
34:05And I said
34:06Okay
34:07So we didn't change anything
34:08And we didn't change anything with any of the songs
34:10I remember writing you ought to know
34:12And I waited 10 years
34:13And I wanted a response song from somebody
34:16And I never got one
34:18So I wrote the song called a man
34:21As a response to me
34:25Here's what you do when no one's talking to you
34:26You talk to yourself
34:27You talk to yourself
34:29I got excited to be the spokesperson very briefly
34:33On behalf of anger
34:34And that was really fun
34:35Because it was a nice catalyst for me to talk about it
34:38With people and actually get into real
34:41The real emotions that we're feeling
34:43And we live in a culture in general that
34:46Is terrified of feelings
34:48And this isn't just men
34:50Women often are told
34:51Don't be
34:52Definitely don't be angry
34:54Don't be scared
34:55Always scared
34:56Scared
34:57Scared right now
34:58And so don't be scared
34:59Don't be angry
35:00And some moments of messaging
35:02That looked like
35:03Don't be happy
35:05So I was like okay
35:06So what's left?
35:09So anytime I can be a support
35:11Or a champion for feelings
35:13I am
35:14And I'm not talking about the destruction
35:16And the acting out
35:17I'm talking about the raw feeling
35:20And it creates art
35:21It creates all the things we love
35:22It creates movies
35:24So
35:25And you can advocate for your child
35:26And you can advocate for your child
35:27By being pissed off about something
35:28So
35:29I just wanna
35:30Turn the frown upside down on anger
35:33As I got older
35:34Anger didn't go anywhere
35:35I think anger just showed up differently
35:38So
35:39Whereas in my 20s
35:40I may have been reactive
35:42Took things personally
35:43You know sometimes
35:45As I got older
35:46It was like
35:48It just turned into activism
35:49It turned into me
35:51Realizing that
35:52It would move worlds
35:53My anger moves worlds
35:54It has me show up
35:56You know
35:5750% of the time
35:58I'm showing up
35:59Because I'm pissed about something
36:00And I want to
36:01Be part of the change
36:02Thank you
36:03Thank you
36:04Thank you
36:05Thank you
36:06Thank you
36:07Thank you
36:08Thank you
36:09Thank you
36:10I want you to know
36:23That I'm happy for you
36:27I wish nothing but the best for you both
36:38I know diversionary
36:40Is she perverted like me?
36:43Would she go down on you in a theatre?
36:48Does she speak eloquently?
36:51And would she have your baby?
36:53I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
36:59Cause the love that you gave that we made
37:01Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide
37:06No
37:09And every time you speak her name
37:12Does she know how you told me to hold me
37:14Till you died
37:16Till you died
37:17But you said I died
37:19And I'm here
37:21It's not fair
37:23To remind you
37:24Of the mess you left
37:27When you went away
37:29It's not fair
37:31To deny the way
37:34Of the cross I bear
37:36That you gave to me
37:38You, you, you ought to know
37:42You, you, you seem very well
37:48Things, look peaceful
37:53I am, not, quite as well
37:59I thought, you should know
38:03Did you forget about me
38:07Mr. Duplicite
38:09I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
38:14But it was a slap in the face
38:17How quickly I was replaced
38:20And I am thinking of me
38:22When you fuck her
38:25Cause the love that you gave
38:27Cause the love that you gave
38:28That we made
38:29Wasn't able to make it
38:30On our foot
38:31To be open wide
38:33No
38:35And every time you speak her name
38:39Does she know
38:40Does she know how you told me
38:41To hold me
38:42Till you died
38:43Till you died
38:44Till you died
38:45But you said I died
38:47And I'm here
38:49To remind you
38:52Of the mess you left
38:54When you went away
38:57It's not fair
39:00To deny the way
39:02A cross I bear
39:05That you gave to me
39:07Yeah, you, you, you
39:09I don't know
39:11Now
39:20On
39:23Love
39:25Love
39:28Love
39:31Oh
39:33Oh
39:36Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
39:43Oh-oh-oh-oh
39:46Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
39:49Oh-oh-oh-oh
39:51Oh-oh-oh-oh
39:53Cause the joke that you laid in the bed
39:55That was me and I'm not gonna fade
39:57As soon as you close your eyes
40:00And you know it
40:02And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
40:08I hope you feel it
40:10Well, can you feel it?
40:13Well, I'm here to remind you of the mess you loved when you went away
40:23It's not fair to deny away
40:29A cross I bear what you gave to me
40:34Yo, yo, yo, I don't know why I'm here
40:40To remind you of the mess you loved when you went away
40:48It's not fair to deny away
40:53A cross I bear what you gave to me
40:58Yo, yo, yo, I don't know
41:03I'd like to introduce my bandmates to
41:14I'd like to introduce my bandmates to
41:28This is Julian Coriel on guitar
41:31Jason Orm on guitar as well
41:36And Mike Farrell on piano, trumpet
41:42Touring with these gentlemen has been a very healing experience for me
41:53We were driving in a country somewhere
41:58And the driver was being really mean to me
42:01And I said, please stop the car
42:05And he's yelling at me
42:08And then I said, please stop the car
42:10And he's like, I'm gonna stop this car
42:12And then I said, yeah, that's what I'm asking you to do
42:15Just let me out
42:16And so I got out
42:17And my bandmates, all of you, were behind me
42:20And they switched cars so fast with me
42:23And when they were jumping into the car
42:25I turned to Steve and I said, um
42:29Don't let this driver say anything terrible about women
42:32And he, the second you got in, he said
42:35Women these days, that feminist movement
42:38They're talking too much
42:40And then Steve said to him, yeah, we love Alana
42:44She's our favorite boss in the world
42:46And then there was an awkward hour and a half ride after that for them
42:49So thank you
42:59The more I traveled as a child
43:00I lived in Germany for a few years, Canada
43:03Traveled all over Europe as a child
43:05Spoke German and French
43:07And just my parents and my dad in particular
43:11My mom's Hungarian escaped during the revolution in 1956
43:14We were just in Budapest together
43:16And went into her apartment
43:18Went into her apartment as a child
43:20Where she would hide people
43:21And it's just a beautiful story
43:22She's actually writing a book about it
43:24So I'm excited about her sharing her story
43:26Um, and my dad is French-Canadian, Irish
43:30Um, so I think they come by it honestly
43:33There's a, there's a traveling
43:34Willowberry element to their approach to life
43:36And it's just been instilled in us kids
43:38That this is a planet
43:40And that's one of the best parts of traveling
43:42Is I get to just see the food and the fabric
43:44And the fashion and the prayer
43:46And the mosques and the politics
43:48And the, just really get inside as much as I possibly can
43:51In short amounts of time
43:53I wrote Thank You with Glenn in the studio
43:56After I had come home from spending some time in India
43:59And it was just really incredible having been there
44:01I, I actually went to India
44:03To kind of escape from the wildness of everything
44:06And for the most part
44:07I kind of blended in with
44:09All the other international tourists
44:11Every once in a while on a train somewhere
44:13Someone would be staring at me
44:14And I would go
44:16And I would go
44:21Um, but for the most part it was pretty unfettered
44:24And it was very healing to just go to a country
44:28Where my interpretation of it was that everywhere I turned
44:31It was an invitation to pray
44:33An invitation to go in
44:35An invitation to be still and present
44:37And it was really inspiring for me
44:39To be there after having toured
44:42Um, for almost a year and a half at that point
44:45So, so I came back and wrote Thank You
44:48And it was this really sort of
44:50It felt very surreal in a way
44:53It just felt like I was graduating
44:56On a consciousness level
44:58I don't know what was happening
44:59It was pretty overwhelming and beautiful
45:01Um, and then I went
45:03And then that eventually went away
45:05And then I've chased it ever since
45:06But, um, yeah, the gratitude too
45:10Because I always think of myself in go mode
45:12Or planning mode or
45:14But that rest
45:16That transition into resting and reflecting
45:18Is the time where I get to say thanks
45:20Right?
45:21As opposed to what I used to do
45:22Work addiction
45:23I would go
45:24Plan, go, plan, go, plan, go, dead
45:26Nervous breakdown, you know
45:28So then I just included a little more transition
45:31A little more reflection
45:32And having come back from India
45:34Where I had more time to really reflect and meditate
45:37Uh, I was just overcome with gratitude
45:40And then that song was written in about 15 minutes
45:43Thanks
45:44Thank you
45:45Thank you
45:46Thank you
45:47Thanks
45:48How about getting off
46:02All these antibiotics
46:04How about stopping eating
46:12When I am full of
46:14How about them transparent
46:22Dangling carrots
46:25How about that
46:31Ever-elusive kudo
46:35Thank you, India
46:40Thank you, terror
46:43Thank you, disillusionment
46:49Thank you, frailty
46:51Thank you, consequence
46:54Thank you, thank you, silence
46:58How about me not blaming you
47:04For everything
47:06How about me and
47:13Enjoying the moment for once
47:17How about how good it feels
47:24To finally forgive you
47:27How about grieving it all at a time
47:37Thank you, India
47:42Thank you, terror
47:45Thank you, disillusionment
47:50Thank you, frailty
47:52Thank you, frailty
47:52Thank you, consequence
47:55Thank you, thank you, silence
48:00The moment I let go of it
48:06Was the moment I got more than I could have
48:11No, the moment I jumped off of it
48:16Was the moment I touched down
48:21How about no longer being masochistic
48:29How about remembering your divinity
48:38How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
48:50How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
49:00Thank you India, thank you Providence, thank you this illusion mess, thank you nothingness, thank you clarity, thank you, thank you silence.
50:00Thank you so much.
50:22Thank you for having me.
50:23This has been an incredible experience.
51:00Transcription by CastingWords
51:10Transcription by CastingWords
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