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Words Plus Music S01e04
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FunTranscript
00:00Hi, I'm Alanis Morissette, and these are my words and music.
00:30I'm broke but I'm happy, I'm poor but I'm kind, I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah, I'm high
00:53but I'm grounded, I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed, I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby.
01:03And what it all comes down to, you said everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine.
01:15Cause I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.
01:27I'm drunk but I'm sober, I'm young and I'm underpaid, I'm tired but I'm working, yeah.
01:43I care but I'm restless, I'm here but I'm really gone, I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby.
01:57And what it all comes down to, you said everything's gonna be quite hard.
02:09Cause I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is flicking a cigarette.
02:20I care but I'm not.
02:42What all comes down to
02:56Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
03:03Yeah, yeah, yeah
03:06Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
03:11And the other one is giving a peace sign
03:21I'm free but I'm focused
03:25I'm green but I'm wise
03:28I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby
03:35I'm sad but I'm laughing
03:38I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
03:42I'm sick but I'm pretty
03:45And what it all boils down to
03:54Is it no one's really got it figured out just yet
03:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
04:02Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
04:06And I don't wanna stand up here
04:12And what it all comes down to
04:17My dear friends, yeah, yeah
04:21You said everything is just fine, fine, fine, fine
04:27Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
04:32And the other one is having a taxi cab
04:37Can you hear me?
04:38Can you hear me?
04:40Do you like a taxi cab
04:41You're not in my pocket
04:42I'm sorry
04:43I'm sorry
04:44I'm sorry
04:45You're not in my pocket
04:46I'm sorry
05:17I think we wrote hand in my pocket in about five minutes and the vocals were the first
05:45take vocals for the demo and we actually attempted to re-record it.
05:51We didn't attempt to, we did re-record it and then we wound up using the demo itself
05:56because it had this sort of ineffable quality to it.
05:58And that set a precedent for us to use the first or second take vocals from all the demos
06:03on the record.
06:04Glenn Ballard and I who wrote it together, we hadn't formally begun yet and I just wrote
06:10all the lyrics to Hand in My Pocket and I just thought it's an interesting portal into the
06:14conversation around how multitudinous we can be as humans, you know, that we have all these
06:19parts.
06:20You know, one part of me can be really inspired, another part can be exhausted on the floor,
06:24another part is pissed off at somebody and they're all happening at the same time.
06:29So in some ways it's an invitation into investigating, for lack of a better term, who's in here, you
06:39know, what's going on in here.
06:40And part of being an artist for me is really getting into and tilling the soil and this
06:45interiority.
06:46It's terrifying in here.
06:46And I remember my son, who's now 14, when he was four, he was feeling all our feelings
06:52and I said, let's see what's going on inside.
06:54And he said, I don't want to go in there, it's terrifying.
06:58And I said, well, you don't have to go in alone, I'll go in with you, you know.
07:02So in some ways, Hand in My Pocket, all songs really for me, but is an invitation to know
07:08that we can be multiple things at all times.
07:11That's what makes life interesting to me.
07:13These songs, when I write them, I'm not thinking and I'm alone in a room, so it's incredibly
07:20vulnerable and I'm not in any kind of editing mode while I'm writing.
07:24I'm just, the music and lyrics are all happening at the same time.
07:27And I don't write them with a goal in mind.
07:31There's no manipulation around sharing it other than it feels mandatory to not only express
07:36myself because I get depressed if I don't, but also just to share it.
07:40There's some elements of my calling that feels like public is okay, even though my temperament
07:45says, don't.
07:48So there's that inner conflict again of, you know, I'm a poodle inside of a black stallion
07:54body.
07:55Like when I wrote Hands Clean, the verses are about, I'm being spoken to by this person
08:03who the song's about.
08:04And then in the chorus is, it's basically a dialogue captured.
08:09And I love doing that in songs where I can embody someone else and voice their voice and
08:13then have a communication with it.
08:15So the only thing about songwriting for me, at first I thought I was going to get away
08:19with having all my healing happen in the songwriting process, but I quickly came to see that art
08:26making is very cathartic, but it's not healing unless it's relational.
08:31So that plan didn't work.
08:32It's an imperative to write.
08:36So there's an urgency to it, even if the subject matter is soft or tender, there's an urgency
08:41to get the song out.
08:43And Glenn Ballard used to use the metaphor that he felt like I was hooking up to an IV
08:46unit when I was writing or Guy Sigsworth.
08:50I collaborated with him.
08:51He would say to me every day I came in, he'd say, well, what horse from the apocalypse is
08:55coming in today, Alas?
08:57And that's when they asked me to write a song that was a party song.
08:59My record company was like, we think it could be time for you to write a party song.
09:04I was like, oh, yeah, I'll write a party song.
09:06I'll write about what it's like to be an introvert at a party, losing your mind.
09:11Anyway, that's when I covered my humps.
09:16It won't be my song that I wrote, but I could do someone else's party song.
09:21So when it came time to shoot the video for it, my record company sat down with me and
09:26they said, we really, we think it'd be really sweet if we brought in a bunch of like 12-year-olds
09:29and then it's karaoke.
09:31And I said, have you heard the song?
09:36So there were 12-year-olds in the video, but the empowered 12-year-olds.
09:41And I love hearing other people's interpretations of this song, hands clean in general.
09:45I remember someone came up to me and they said, I love that song you wrote about your
09:49lesbian teacher.
09:50It's so good.
09:51And I was like, which teacher?
09:55Because there were a few.
09:59But yeah, I don't correct anybody.
10:00It's not mine to be interpreted after it's out in the world.
10:04But when I'm writing, it's just sort of this channeled, unfettered experience.
10:08And then the sharing of it is just, you know, if there's something in this that resonates
10:12with you, use it.
10:13It's for you.
10:14If it weren't for your maturity, none of this would have happened.
10:29If you weren't so wise beyond your years, I would have been able to control myself.
10:34And if it weren't for my attention, you wouldn't have been successful.
10:40And if it weren't for me, you would never have amounted to very much.
10:48Oh, this could get messy.
10:54But you, you don't seem to mind.
10:58And we'll fast forward to a few years later, and no one knows except the both of us.
11:23And I have honored your request for silence.
11:30And you've washed your hands clean.
11:35This, you're essentially an employee, and I like you having to depend on me.
11:43And you're a kind of protege, and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me.
11:49And I know you depend on me like a young thing would to guard me up.
11:55And I know you sexualized me like a young thing would, and I think I like it.
12:02Oh, this could get messy.
12:07But you, you won't seem to mind.
12:15And oh, don't go tellin' everybody.
12:19And overlook this supposed crime.
12:25And we'll fast forward to a few years later on
12:32No one knows except the both of us
12:39And I have honored your request for silence
12:44And you've washed your hands clean
12:49Of these, what part of our history's reinvented
12:59And under rug sweat
13:01And what part of your memory is selective
13:10And tends to forget what with this distance
13:14It seems so obvious
13:18Just make sure you don't tell on me
13:21Especially to members of your family
13:24And we best keep this to ourselves
13:28And not tell any members of our inner posse
13:30And I wish I could tell the world
13:33Cause you're such a pretty thing
13:35When you're done up properly
13:36And I might want to marry you one day
13:40If you watch that weight
13:41And you keep your firm body
13:43And oh, this could get messy
13:48But you, you, you don't seem to mind
13:55And oh, don't go telling everybody
14:00And overlook this supposed crime
14:06And we'll fast forward to a few years later on
14:13No one knows except the both of us
14:20And I have honored your request for silence
14:25And you've washed your hands clean
14:30With this
14:39Oh, oh, oh, oh
14:42Oh, oh, oh, oh
14:44Oh, oh, oh, oh
14:50Oh
14:52Oh
14:52Jagged Little Pill the musical
15:19The musical allowed me to live my values pretty explicitly and what I mean by that is I was just working with people who I could lean on and they could lean on me and there were times where I would zoom in because I could see I was needed. Might have been a moment of psychological opinion needed. So I would weigh in when I could see that they needed support and when they didn't I would just lean back during the making of the musical.
15:42I just remember being in front of a whiteboard with Diablo Cody and Diane Paulus and Tom Kidd we were all in the room together and we'd be talking about the story and Diablo Cody is the first person to say that these characters were born from the songs.
15:56So I think that's why there's a cohesiveness to the musical. It was a dream come true in terms of collaboration and relaxing because in some ways I wasn't carrying at all. It was us as a collective.
16:08We all really collaborated in a way that I had always spoken about and talked about it being the ideal relational artistic experience but this took it to a whole other level.
16:18When Glenn and I wrote Ironic this was the first of the songs written for the whole record and I wasn't writing wildly autobiographically quite yet. More sort of storytelling getting to know Glenn and at one point I didn't want the song in the record because I thought that it was sort of for lack of a better term our warm up you know but I love the song so it's not that I had any issues with it but I just thought that was one of the last songs where I wasn't entirely talking about it.
16:48So that inside out approach so but people got really triggered by the malapropism or whatever the word. I am a linguist. I'm obsessed with linguisticism. I also love making up words and I also don't care.
17:05So navigating those three is fun. Where I go when people are triggered by anything is I quickly go to what's at the epicenter of this? What is everyone really up in arms about? Why is everyone laughing?
17:21And I think we're afraid to look stupid. So I think because who is a linguist and then misuses a word. You know what kind of person does that is where I go.
17:35But I wasn't being precious about it. And I think a lot of lyrics around the planet many many artists most of us aren't being wildly precious about it.
17:45So I'm 90 percent grammar police which is the real irony. And then 10 percent I really couldn't care less. So I think the 10 percent won over on that song.
18:03An old man turned 98
18:16He won the lottery and died the next day
18:22It's a black flag in your Chardonnay
18:28It's a death row of pardon, two minutes too late
18:33Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
18:38It's like rain on your wedding day
18:45It's a free ride when you've already paid
18:51It's the good of yours that you just didn't take
18:58And who ever thought it figures
19:02Mr. Play It Safe was a great fly
19:08He packed his suitcase and kissed his kiss goodbye
19:14He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
19:21And as the plane crashed down, he thought
19:25Well, isn't this nice?
19:28And isn't it ironic?
19:30Don't you think?
19:33It's like rain on your wedding day
19:39It's a free ride when you've already paid
19:45It's the good of yours that you just didn't take
19:52And who would've thought it figures
19:56Well, life was a funny way of sneaking up on you
20:02When you think everything's okay
20:04And everything's going right
20:07And yeah, well, life was a funny way of helping you out
20:14When you think everything's gone wrong
20:16And everything blows up in your face
20:20A traffic jam when you're already late
20:27And no smoking sign on your cigarette break
20:33It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
20:39It's meeting the man of my dreams
20:43And meeting his beautiful husband
20:45And isn't it ironic
20:49Don't you think
20:53A little too ironic
20:56And you really, really, really
20:59Think it's like rain
21:01When you're waiting in day to free ride
21:08When you've already paid
21:11It's the good of yours
21:14That you just didn't take
21:18And who would've thought it figures
21:22Yeah
21:27Yeah
21:29Yeah
21:31Yeah
21:35Yeah
21:39Yeah
21:41Yeah
21:43Someone the other day asked me
22:03So, you know, tell me some of the differences
22:05Between performing in the 90s and performing now
22:08And there are many differences
22:10But the only one I really thought of
22:12Off the top of my head was
22:13Now when I'm on stage
22:14I do things like this
22:15Woo!
22:18Whereas in the 90s
22:19I was just like
22:20Help me
22:20Somebody help me
22:22Now I'm just partying, apparently
22:24There was a period of time in the 90s
22:28Where I couldn't even look at anybody
22:29And I was really happy that the rooms were dark
22:31Because it was too
22:32The intimacy invitation was too much for me
22:35And now I can look at people for three seconds
22:38For next month
22:41No, just kidding
22:41No, there's more intimacy now
22:43And rest is
22:44It's just a declaration of what I wish for those I love the most
22:49Especially those who are mired in work addiction
22:52And productivity and achievement
22:53You know, we live in a culture that says
22:55We're supposed to be productive
22:56And we're supposed to be all these things
22:58And yet all of these things
22:59All these brass rings we're chasing
23:01Can be debilitating to take that on
23:06So we're caught between
23:07What we're being told externally to do
23:10And what our whole internal somatic body experience is telling us
23:13So the best gift of getting older for me
23:16Is that I implicitly trust my body now
23:18So if I hear a request or anything
23:24And my body says no
23:25Well then there's the answer
23:26I used to think I had to sort of
23:27And it'll actually back that up
23:29And now I just
23:30If the body says no
23:31Then we're done
23:32And then this song was also inspired
23:35By a lot of my acquaintances and friends
23:41Some of whom passed away
23:42Just based on how intense it is
23:43To be an empath
23:46And an introvert in the public eye
23:48And a really sensitive person in the public eye
23:50It's like there's this muscle of interiority
23:53And sensitivity that allows for art being made
23:55And I remember Sinead O'Connor said this too
23:57Where she said
23:57Everyone loves the songs and the yields from us artists
24:01But we're suffering
24:03You know
24:04And so for me
24:06This song was sort of marking the suicidality
24:11That comes from how intense it is
24:13To feel so deeply in a world
24:15That sends a lot of very confusing messages to us
24:18And there's no handbook for that
24:20There's no handbook for fame
24:21And there's no handbook for how to navigate fame
24:23If you're Kurt Cobain
24:25Or if you're a sensitive creature
24:27You know
24:27I used to run around
24:29Hoping to get a mentor of a kind
24:30You know
24:31I remember seeing Annie Lennox
24:32At the Brit Awards going
24:33Hi
24:34You know
24:34In the back of my mind
24:35Thinking
24:35Will you be my mommy?
24:37She was like
24:38So lovely to meet you
24:39And then runs off
24:39And I was like
24:40Oh okay
24:41I'll try again next time
24:43But I kept
24:4590s were not about the sisterhood as such
24:48But I kept trying to find someone
24:50Who I could vent with or lean on
24:53And it took a couple decades
24:55So to me that speaks to what the song Rest is about
24:59That you know
25:00This one human being is giving so much
25:03And then isolated in a way
25:06Because I thought fame would bring us all closer
25:08But in some ways
25:10It can actually kind of create this othering
25:11Which was really painful at first
25:14But more on that some other time
25:16I have a lot of empathy for
25:19So many artists
25:22And I have a really sweet
25:23Now in 2025, 26 era
25:26I just feel like I have a really sweet relationship
25:28With very sensitive artists
25:30All genders
25:31Just um
25:32We do have a community now
25:34And a lot of people who are in the public eye
25:37And challenged
25:38I just invite them to reach out to me
25:40Like I would
25:41I would be so happy to support you
25:44All these relief givers
25:55The needle sure revs in the red
25:59Chemicals like hulks from
26:10Inside they feel like my best friend
26:15You think me a coward
26:24But I am a warrior
26:26With many voices in my head
26:30When I looked around and I reached out
26:40I saw no alternative
26:44God rest
26:53God rest
26:56Our souls
26:58And this substance
27:07Is the only comfort I know
27:12He's been pushing for a while
27:21Can we cut this man some slack
27:25Can we cut this man some slack
27:25And let him lie down
27:28Let him lie down
27:32We are a country dead
27:38Spread for the embryonic
27:42I'm cold and I'm hungry
27:52And I yearn for a hand on my forehead
27:57You think it's a walk in the park
28:06And it's easy
28:07She's got it as good as it gets
28:11This misunderstanding
28:20This misunderstanding's a lie
28:20Between living
28:22And being the walking dead
28:26God rest
28:34God rest
28:37Our souls
28:39And the way I take
28:48The last comfort I know
28:53She's been pushing for a while
29:02Can we cut this woman slack
29:05And let her lie down
29:09Let her lie down
29:13The more that you hurl at me
29:19The more I will curl up in my bed
29:24Where's the humanity
29:33Aren't we all hovering around the same end
29:40Door number one, two, and three
29:48Having promises
29:49That aren't real enough to be kept
29:53You wish me a speedy recovery
30:02But when you turn, I climb the depths
30:08God rest
30:16God, please rest our souls
30:21This is the surest exit I have known
30:35We've been hurting for a while
30:43We've been hurting for a while
30:44Can we cut ourselves some slack
30:47Let us lie down
30:49Let us lie down
30:51Let them lie down
30:54Let her lie down
30:58Let me lie down
31:02I always feel like forgiveness is pushed too early
31:20You know, like I'll be really upset about something
31:24And someone will say, well, you're going to need to forgive
31:26Let me be angry for seven minutes
31:29And then I think forgiveness emerges naturally
31:33Like it's not something that I have to will myself
31:35And on a spiritual level too
31:37Like is there something to forgive?
31:39We're all just running around
31:40Stepping on each other's toes
31:42And some of us take responsibility
31:43And some of us don't
31:45And there's just effects and consequences to that
31:48And I'm just telling my kids how exciting it is
31:51To take responsibility
31:51How fun it is
31:53And how easy
31:54I just love anger so much
31:57It gets such a bad rap
32:04I think it gets a bad rap, obviously
32:06Because we, often we think
32:08When we hear anger, we think destruction
32:10We think harm, we think bullying
32:12We think murder, genocide, hate
32:15But it's inaccurate
32:18Because anger moves worlds
32:20Anger sets boundaries
32:21Anger underpins all activism that I do
32:24So it's really about transmuting it
32:27For our purposes and our goals
32:29You know
32:30And it's a fiery emotion
32:32And yes, it could have people
32:34Want to punch people or turn tables over
32:37But I always say to my kids
32:39I'm like, yeah
32:40I do want to punch that person
32:43But here's why I'm not going to
32:45So validating the emotion
32:49And then going in to be a socialized creature
32:51And play well in the sandbox with other people
32:53We don't actually punch people
32:55So
32:56I think the record company at the time
32:59Wanted hand in my pocket first
33:01And I just remember thinking
33:04Women get reduced a lot
33:07Or women, whatever, humans
33:09We get reduced
33:10Like, oh, that person's the funny person
33:12And then we move on
33:13Or we just kind of reduce
33:14In general sometimes
33:16So I just thought
33:17If I'm going to be reduced to a feeling
33:19Which at the beginning
33:21If I'm going to be one-dimensionalized
33:24Which is the
33:24It's inevitable in the public eye
33:26What would I want to be one-dimensionalized as?
33:29Would I rather be seen as the angry woman
33:33Or the people-pleasing woman?
33:35And all these are true anyway
33:37But I said, I think anger would be the most fun
33:41So I really
33:44I mean, I say I fought for it
33:45I didn't have to fight
33:46I just was really excited about
33:48You ought to know
33:48And I remember writing the song
33:50And then I turned to Glenn
33:51And I said
33:51Obviously we're going to need to play with those lyrics
33:54And he said
33:55Why?
33:58And he said
33:59Is that what you mean?
34:00And I said
34:01Yes
34:01And he said
34:03Okay, well let's keep it
34:04And I said
34:06Okay
34:06So we didn't change anything
34:09And we didn't change anything
34:10With any of the songs
34:11I remember writing
34:12You ought to know
34:12And I waited ten years
34:13And I wanted a response song
34:15From somebody
34:16And I never got one
34:18So I wrote the song
34:20Called A Man
34:20As a response to me
34:23Here's what you do
34:26When no one's talking to you
34:27You talk to yourself
34:28I got excited to be
34:31The spokesperson
34:32Very briefly
34:33On behalf of anger
34:34And that was really fun
34:35Because it was a nice catalyst
34:36For me to talk about it
34:38With people
34:39And actually get into
34:40Real
34:40The real emotions
34:42That we're feeling
34:43And we live
34:44In a culture in general
34:45That
34:45Is terrified of feelings
34:48And this isn't just men
34:50Women often are told
34:51Don't be
34:52Definitely don't be angry
34:53Don't be scared
34:55Always scared
34:56I'm scared right now
34:58And so don't be scared
34:59Don't be angry
35:00And some
35:00Moments of messaging
35:02That looked like
35:03Don't be happy
35:04So I was like
35:06Okay so what's left
35:07So anytime I can be
35:10A support
35:12Or a champion
35:13For feelings
35:14I am
35:14And I'm not talking
35:15About the destruction
35:16And the acting out
35:17I'm talking about
35:17The raw feeling
35:19And it creates art
35:21It creates all the things
35:22We love
35:22It creates movies
35:23So
35:24And you can advocate
35:26For your child
35:27By being pissed off
35:28About something
35:28So I just want to
35:30Turn the frown upside down
35:32On anger
35:32As I got older
35:34Anger didn't go anywhere
35:35I think anger
35:36Just showed up differently
35:37So
35:38Whereas in my 20s
35:40I may have been reactive
35:41Take
35:42Took things personally
35:43You know
35:43Sometimes
35:44As I got older
35:45It was like
35:46It just turned into activism
35:49It turned into me
35:51Realizing that
35:52It would move worlds
35:53My anger moves worlds
35:55It has me show up
35:56You know
35:5750% of the time
35:58I'm showing up
35:58Because I'm pissed
35:59About something
36:00And I want to
36:00Be part of the change
36:02I want you to know
36:22That I'm happy for you
36:27I wish nothing but
36:32The best for you both
36:37An older version of Ray
36:40Is she perverted like me?
36:43Would she go down on you
36:45In a theater?
36:48Does she speak eloquently?
36:50And would she have your baby?
36:53I'm sure she'd make
36:55A really excellent mother
36:58Cause the love that you gave
37:01That we made
37:01Wasn't able to make it
37:03Enough for you
37:04To be open wide
37:06No
37:07And every time
37:11You speak her name
37:12Does she know
37:13How you told me to hold me
37:15Till you died
37:16Till you died
37:18But you said I died
37:20And I'm here
37:21To remind you
37:25Of the mess you left
37:28When you went away
37:30It's not fair
37:32To deny
37:34The way
37:35Of the cross
37:37I bear
37:38That you gave to me
37:40You
37:41You
37:41You
37:42I don't know
37:44You
37:45Seem
37:47Very well
37:48Things
37:51Look
37:52Peaceful
37:53I am
37:56Not
37:57Quite
37:58As well
37:59I thought
38:01You
38:02Should know
38:03Did you forget
38:06About me
38:07Mr. Duplicite
38:10I hate to bug you
38:12In the middle
38:13Of dinner
38:14But it was
38:16A slap in the face
38:18How quickly
38:19I was replaced
38:20And I am thinking
38:22Of me
38:23When you
38:24Fuck her
38:26Cause the love
38:27That you gave
38:28That we made
38:28Wasn't able
38:29To make it
38:30Enough for you
38:31To be open wide
38:33No
38:35And every time
38:38You speak her name
38:40Does she know
38:40How you told me
38:41To hold me
38:42Till you died
38:43Till you died
38:45But you said
38:46I died
38:47And I'm here
38:49To remind you
38:52Of the mess you left
38:55When you went away
38:57It's not fair
38:59To deny
39:01The way
39:02A cross
39:04I bear
39:05That you gave
39:07To me
39:07You
39:08You
39:08You
39:09I don't know
39:11Love
39:15Love
39:17Love
39:18Love
39:18Love
39:19Love
39:19Love
39:23Love
39:26Yeah
39:27Oh
39:27Love
39:28Oh
39:29Love
39:30Love
39:31Oh
39:53Is the joke that you laid in the bed that was me and I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes
40:01And you know
40:04And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
40:08Oh, you feel it?
40:10Well, can you feel it?
40:13Well, I'm here
40:15To remind you of a mess you love when you went away
40:23It's not fair to deny away
40:29A cross I bear what you gave to me
40:34Yo, yo, yo, I don't know why I'm here
40:39To remind you of a mess you love when you went away
40:47It's not fair to deny away
40:52A cross I bear what you gave to me
40:57Yo, yo, yo, I don't know
41:01I'd like to introduce my bandmates to
41:03I'd like to introduce my bandmates to
41:15I'd like to introduce my bandmates to
41:27This is Julian Coriel on guitar
41:30Jason Orm on guitar as well
41:35And Mike Farrell on piano, trumpet
41:45I love you
41:49Touring with these gentlemen has been a very healing experience for me
41:54We were driving in a country somewhere
41:57And the driver was being really mean to me
42:01And I said, please stop the car
42:04And he was yelling at me
42:07And then I said, please stop the car
42:09And he's like, I'm gonna stop this car
42:11And then I said, yeah, that's what I'm asking you to do
42:14Just let me out
42:15And so I got out
42:16And my bandmates, all of you, were behind me
42:19And they switched cars so fast with me
42:22And when they were jumping into the car
42:24I turned to Steve and I said, um
42:27Don't let this driver say anything terrible about women
42:31And he, the second you got in, he said
42:34Women these days, that feminist movement, they're talking too much
42:41And then Steve said to him, yeah, we love Alana
42:43She's our favorite boss in the world
42:45And then there was an awkward hour and a half ride after that for them
42:49So thank you
42:51Thank you
42:57The more I traveled as a child
43:00I lived in Germany for a few years, Canada
43:02Traveled all over Europe as a child
43:04Spoke German and French and
43:08Just my parents and my dad in particular
43:11My mom's Hungarian escaped during the revolution in 1956
43:14We were just in Budapest together
43:16And went into her apartment as a child
43:18Where she would hide people
43:20And it's just a beautiful story
43:21She's actually writing a book about it
43:23So I'm excited about her sharing her story
43:25Um, and my dad is French-Canadian, Irish
43:28Um, so I think they come by it honestly
43:31There's a, there's a traveling willabury element to their approach to life
43:35And it's just been instilled in us kids
43:37That this is a planet
43:39And that's one of the best parts of traveling
43:41Is I get to just see the food and the fabric and the fashion
43:44And the prayer and the mosques and the politics
43:47And the, just really get inside as much as I possibly can in short amounts of time
43:52I wrote Thank You with Glen in the studio
43:55After I had come home from spending some time in India
43:58And it was just really incredible having been there
44:00I, I actually went to India to kind of escape from the wildness of everything
44:05And for the most part I kind of blended in with all the other international tourists
44:10Every once in a while on a train somewhere someone would be staring at me
44:14And I would go
44:20Um, but for the most part it was pretty unfettered
44:23And it was very healing to just go to a country
44:27Where my interpretation of it was that everywhere I turned
44:30It was an invitation to pray
44:33An invitation to go in
44:34An invitation to be still and present
44:36And it was really inspiring for me to be there
44:39After having toured, um, for almost a year and a half at that point
44:44So, so I came back and wrote Thank You
44:47And it was this really sort of
44:49It felt very, uh, surreal in a way
44:52It just felt like I was graduating on a consciousness level
44:57I don't know what was happening
44:58It was pretty overwhelming and beautiful
45:00Um, and then I went, and then that eventually went away
45:04And then I've chased it ever since
45:06But, um, yeah, the gratitude too
45:09Because I always think of myself in go mode or planning mode
45:13Or, but that rest, that transition into resting and reflecting
45:18Is the time where I get to say thanks, right?
45:20As opposed to what I used to do, work addiction
45:23I would go, plan, go, plan, go, plan, go, dead
45:26Nervous breakdown, you know
45:28So then I just included a little more transition
45:30A little more reflection
45:31And having come back from India
45:33Where I had more time to really reflect and meditate
45:36Uh, I was just overcome with gratitude
45:39And then that song was written in about 15 minutes
45:42It's a tiny bit
45:59How about getting off all these antibiotics
46:04How about stopping eating when I am full of
46:14How about them transparent dangling carrots
46:25How about that ever-elusive good old
46:36Thank you India, thank you terror
46:43Thank you disillusionment
46:48Thank you frailty, thank you consequence
46:53Thank you, thank you silence
46:58How about me not blaming you for everything
47:06How about me enjoying the moment for once
47:17How about how good it feels to finally forgive you
47:27How about grieving it all at a time
47:37Thank you India, thank you terror
47:45Thank you disillusionment
47:50Thank you frailty, thank you consequence
47:55Thank you, thank you silence
48:00The moment I let go of it
48:06Was the moment I got more than I could have
48:12No, the moment I jumped off of it
48:16Was the moment I touched down
48:21How about no longer being masochistic
48:29How about remembering your divinity
48:38How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
48:50How about not equating death with stopping
48:59Thank you india, thank you india, thank you providence
49:08Thank you disillusionment
49:12Thank you nothingness
49:16Thank you clarity
49:18Thank you thank you silence
49:21Thank you silence
49:23Thank you silence
49:24Yeah yeah
49:25Yeah yeah
49:26Oh
49:27No
49:30No
49:32No
49:33No
49:35No
49:38No
49:39No
49:43No
49:45No
50:11No
50:12No
50:17No
50:21Thank you so much
50:22Thank you for having me
50:23This is what an incredible experience
50:25Thank you
50:26Thank you
50:28Thank you
50:30Thank you
50:31Thank you
50:32Thank you
50:33Thank you
50:34Thank you
50:36Thank you
50:42Thank you
50:56Thank you
51:08Thank you
51:09You
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