Have I Got News for You S70 E11

Bosphorus.Line

58 minutes ago

Transcript

00:00I'll be right back.

00:30Good evening. Welcome to Have I Got 2025.

00:34For you, I'm Jason Manford. I'm Angela Rippon.

00:37I'm Roy Wood Jr. I'm Martin Clunes. In the news this year...

00:40In Leatherhead, hidden camera footage reveals to MI5

00:43how the network of Bulgarian spies were exchanging secret information.

00:48LAUGHTER

01:00As a school talent show near Hinkley Point, one pupil shows off the benefits

01:04of living so close to a nuclear power station.

01:15At Britain's largest container crane in Tilbury,

01:18the operator has just been told to expect a visit from Rachel Reeves.

01:26In Arbroath, at the opening of an exhibition on the history of trowels,

01:29one woman wonders how long it'll be before she can sneak out for a fag.

01:37And in Pyongyang, Kim Jong-un finds a way round his dietician's strict orders

01:41that no more alcohol should pass his lips.

01:44APPLAUSE

01:57That's the previous Prime Minister.

01:59That's the fiscal drag queen.

02:02And that's next week's Prime Minister.

02:05This is the Labour Party.

02:07They've imitated most of the previous government's antics,

02:10so they thought, why not have a civil war?

02:12LAUGHTER

02:13Do you know what? It's like nuts.

02:14You've got people who are completely allergic to nuts

02:16and people who really, really love nuts.

02:19And Keir Starmer's gone, I've got three nuts.

02:22LAUGHTER

02:24That's exactly what it is.

02:30LAUGHTER

02:32What was missing from his conference speech?

02:35A trapeze axe.

02:37That was the Lib Dem conference.

02:39Oh, yeah.

02:40There was a line of policy, but he was advised to take it out,

02:44which was something on the economy that promised growth you can feel

02:48in your pocket.

02:49LAUGHTER

02:51He'd take your mind off the economy, though, wouldn't he?

02:54LAUGHTER

02:55Oh, bless.

02:57Dear Adrian.

02:59LAUGHTER

03:01He's hopeless, he's got to get it together.

03:04LAUGHTER

03:05But, of course, everyone can make mistakes, though, can't they, Sophie?

03:09LAUGHTER

03:11There has been a number.

03:14Yes.

03:15There's one really, really embarrassing one,

03:17but I have a horrible feeling it is.

03:18I think it might be that one.

03:19Yeah.

03:20Let's have a look.

03:21Joining us in our studio now is the leader of Scottish Labour...

03:24Labour, sorry.

03:25LAUGHTER

03:26Thank you so much for helping with us today.

03:32She later apologised and explained she didn't mean it clitorally.

03:36LAUGHTER

03:41Rachel Reeves, what do you think is going to happen to her?

03:45Well, she made a mistake.

03:47She's been exonerated and the Prime Minister was absolutely right

03:50to accept her apology.

03:51Do you think people who make mistakes should be exonerated or...?

03:54Well, the Prime Minister was equally magnanimous with me,

03:56which is why I'm really delighted I'm still serving as Transport Secretary.

03:59LAUGHTER

04:01According to one poll on the Chancellor of the Exchequer,

04:03two-thirds of the public think Rachel Reeves should resign,

04:06to which a concerned Reeves remarked,

04:08blimey, that is nearly 50%.

04:10LAUGHTER

04:12It's also been reported that Auntie Lorena came very close

04:15to appearing on this year's I'm a Celebrity.

04:17Apparently, she was very tempted by the idea

04:19she could claim the camp as her primary residence.

04:21LAUGHTER

04:22What's rumbling on for Starmer?

04:28The Chinese spy case.

04:29This is absolutely right.

04:30No-one seeming to be able to buy the government's claims

04:33that the case collapsing wasn't their fault.

04:35I think the cover that China may not be our best friends

04:38may have been blown a while back.

04:40And also, they're listening to you through your toaster,

04:43which I don't like.

04:44LAUGHTER

04:46What sort of toaster have you got?

04:50Um...

04:52I suppose actually it's the Huawei spy toaster.

04:55LAUGHTER

04:58Look, I'm not an expert, but they're so...

05:01LAUGHTER

05:02They're so desperate for all this information...

05:04Yeah.

05:05..that it seems to call into question

05:07how effective fortune cookies are.

05:09LAUGHTER

05:10You know what I mean?

05:11LAUGHTER

05:13What do you think about it?

05:15Like...

05:16APPLAUSE

05:17Ah, yes, this is the fervid ventures

05:21of the biggest tosspot they ever lived.

05:23LAUGHTER

05:28Yeah, there he is, Trump.

05:29He's knocking down the east wing of the White House,

05:31which is not even a metaphor for what he's doing to America.

05:33LAUGHTER

05:34It's too obvious and blatant and on the nose for that.

05:36There's no rhyme or reason to it at all.

05:38He's placed 10% tariff on these islands near Antarctica

05:42where the only inhabitants are penguins.

05:44LAUGHTER

05:45And the penguins are there like, what did we do?

05:47LAUGHTER

05:48I didn't like happy feet.

05:49I thought it was a terrible move.

05:51LAUGHTER

05:53What else has Trump been changing at the White House?

05:56His underwear.

05:57LAUGHTER

05:58What underwear do you think he has?

06:00Padded and absorbent.

06:02LAUGHTER

06:03APPLAUSE

06:05At part of his annual check-up, Donald Trump had a colonoscopy.

06:10Mm!

06:11LAUGHTER

06:12Well, they found Keir Starmer.

06:15LAUGHTER

06:16LAUGHTER

06:17APPLAUSE

06:22He has to be a winner.

06:23He can't possibly become second.

06:24He has to be the biggest, best...

06:26The best cognitive test.

06:27Absolutely.

06:28Nobody's ever done this.

06:29We've tested millions of people.

06:30Yeah.

06:31And you and absolute moron have done better than...

06:33LAUGHTER

06:34You really are a mate.

06:36APPLAUSE

06:37Don't know how you do it.

06:39Mm.

06:40Something has dampened his mood, though.

06:42What might that have been?

06:43Was it the cover of...

06:44The cover of Time magazine.

06:45The cover of Time magazine.

06:46That's right.

06:47Where he was all jowly and his hair looked thin.

06:48Yeah.

06:49Didn't like it.

06:50LAUGHTER

06:51Trump wrote on Truth Social,

06:53the picture may be the worst of all time.

06:57LAUGHTER

06:58Go on, Donald.

06:59It's not as bad as this one.

07:00LAUGHTER

07:02APPLAUSE

07:04Geoffrey Epstein's emails seem to implicate Trump,

07:08with one saying,

07:09of course he knew about the girls.

07:11In fairness to Trump,

07:12a lot of what Epstein wrote wasn't true,

07:14like his suicide note.

07:15LAUGHTER

07:16So...

07:17LAUGHTER

07:18APPLAUSE

07:20In other news, why is Donald Trump not happy with the BBC?

07:25Panorama edited together a bit of Trump's speech

07:29that he made on January 6th.

07:31It's stupid and it's clumsy to have done that.

07:33I feel like if he was clearly inciting violence,

07:35then there's no need to edit a clip

07:37that makes him more clearly look...

07:38I think that's a very sensible view.

07:40APPLAUSE

07:42That bit will be edited, so it will be me saying,

07:45fight, fight, fight, fight!

07:46LAUGHTER

07:48He doesn't want the case to happen here,

07:50because damages in British courts rarely exceed £100,000,

07:53which could be why...

07:54They do sometimes.

07:55LAUGHTER

07:56Hold on, hold on, we've got some...

07:57Guys, hold on.

07:58Breaking news, by the look of it.

07:59Andrew is no longer a prince.

08:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

08:03Wow!

08:05Righty!

08:06What happened?

08:07The bad news is he's become king.

08:08Yeah.

08:09LAUGHTER

08:10Let's go.

08:11King Charles seems to have had enough, finally.

08:12Yeah, this policy of letting Andrew announce...

08:13A what?

08:14The policy of letting...

08:15Oh, announce.

08:16Sorry.

08:17LAUGHTER

08:18Sorry.

08:19Sorry.

08:20I kept putting a U in it.

08:22Announce what's going to happen to himself hasn't gone so well.

08:24It's like salami slicing.

08:25People wanted...

08:26That's what they should do.

08:27No, no, no, no.

08:28No, no, no, no, no.

08:29No, no, no, no, no, no.

08:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

08:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

08:32LAUGHTER

08:38I kept putting a U in it.

08:40Announce what's going to happen to himself hasn't gone so well.

08:44It's like salami slicing.

08:45People wanted...

08:46That's what they should do to him.

08:47Yeah.

08:51According to the statement from Buckingham Palace,

08:53Prince Andrew has been forced to give up all his styles,

08:55titles and honours.

08:56However, he does get to keep his Pizza Express loyalty card.

09:00APPLAUSE

09:06Ah, St Peter's Square.

09:08The Pope's dead.

09:09On Easter Monday, wasn't it?

09:10It was.

09:11Yes, indeed.

09:12Shortly after he met J.D. Vance.

09:14Yes!

09:15You can see the look in the Pope's eyes, can't you?

09:18Right, that's it, I'm off.

09:22This is indeed the news that the Pope has died.

09:25Thousands of mourners got the chance to file past the Pope's coffin,

09:29just as soon as Holly and Phil had paid their respects.

09:33LAUGHTER

09:35Sorry, I've just got to get that, hang on.

09:37Hello, yeah.

09:39Well, I could start on Monday.

09:42LAUGHTER

09:44Yeah, I was brought up as a Catholic, yeah.

09:48APPLAUSE

09:49I've got to finish this and I'll be with you.

09:50Yeah, yeah.

09:51HE HEE!

09:52I don't care about the score now.

09:53That's fantastic.

09:54Habamus Papam.

09:55How dare you!

09:56Your mind is too filthy to be Pope.

09:57That's the problem with you.

09:58LAUGHTER

09:59LAUGHTER

10:00It's true though, isn't it?

10:01I think you should look into the history of the Popes.

10:05APPLAUSE

10:06One Italian candidate for Pope is Cardinal Pizzabella,

10:08who once offered himself up in a hostage exchange deal.

10:12A deal that also included free garlic bread and a bottle of Fanta.

10:19LAUGHTER

10:20How has a Wensleydale vicar upset his flock?

10:22He confused the term brass rubbing with bras rubbing.

10:23Got into trouble with a front row pew.

10:26Residents in Askerig Wensleydale are furious after a 15th century church tower

10:28was given a limewash render.

10:30There are a pubs in a pubs in the middle of the seat of Alain Seymour.

10:33One Italian candidate for Pope is Cardinal Pizzabella,

10:36who once offered himself up in a hostage exchange deal,

10:39a deal that also included free garlic bread and a bottle of Fanta.

10:42How has a Wensleydale vicar upset his flock?

10:46He confused the term brass rubbing with bras rubbing.

10:49Got into trouble with a front row pew.

10:51They were promised it would be a soft honey colour.

10:53Yes. Here's what it looked like before.

10:55Yeah, lovely. Here's what it looks like now.

10:57Oh, that's punchy, isn't it? That's not good.

11:00Very unlike the church to whitewash something.

11:10Like collections, bin collection.

11:12There's Farage. It's Nijageddon.

11:17I mean, presumably, over the course of this series, people will say,

11:20probably they're already saying the show is now mentioning Nigel Farage.

11:24And the press is... And that is the dilemma.

11:26Do you address what he's saying?

11:28Because it seems to be either wrong or in need of correction or dangerous

11:32or incitement or hypocritical or whatever.

11:35I mean, people mispronouncing his name. It's far right.

11:40It's a minor thing.

11:43What has Nigel Farage got more of than any other UK politician?

11:47Is it bears named after him? It's not.

11:49Farage has got digital clout.

11:52Oh, dear, you can get ointment for that.

11:56How did Nigel Farage make his entrance?

11:58Did we just shut it out of a cannon?

12:01Or was it in a rubber boat? That'd be funny.

12:03I mean, if you've done that...

12:08Would you like to see a highlight of that conference?

12:11Is it the singing? Yes.

12:14Oh, good. Yeah, let's have that.

12:16I'm an insomniac!

12:18I'm an insomniac!

12:20I'm an insomniac!

12:21I'm an insomniac!

12:22And all I have to fear

12:23Is the sound without

12:25thought

12:26The sound without thought

12:29I'm an insomniac!

12:32What the hell is this?!

12:35That's Andrea Jenkins, former Tory MP.

12:38When she was a Tory,

12:39she was sitting where you were on this programme.

12:41Oh, no, really?

12:42I was on that thing.

12:43You said, I don't think we'll see her again.

12:44Mm.

12:46Now look what you've done, Ian.

12:48And it's her song.

12:49It is.

12:50She's written it, hasn't it?

12:51She wrote it.

12:52In the middle of the night, presumably.

12:53Yeah.

13:00That's a cheering scene, isn't it?

13:03Oh!

13:05She's back.

13:06This is the Tory conference,

13:07and I believe you were there.

13:08So, was it as empty as it looked?

13:12Uh, yes.

13:14What's Cammy Bedenock celebrating?

13:16Oh, one year.

13:17One year.

13:18Oh, yeah.

13:19She's celebrating that from now on,

13:20rebel backbenchers can put in letters of no confidence.

13:22Yeah.

13:23She's done a year, but as Sky News pointed out,

13:25a grace period stopping MPs from submitting letters of no competence

13:28in terms of...

13:29Competence?

13:30LAUGHTER

13:31That's brilliant.

13:32A Freudian slip, Catherine.

13:34APPLAUSE

13:39It's Robert Jenrick.

13:40It is.

13:41The story is he's been going down the Tube.

13:43Um...

13:44Literally.

13:46LAUGHTER

13:47He's not the Tory leader, but he'd quite like to be.

13:49So, he's leading a campaign against crime.

13:51On the London Underground, pointing out fair dodgers.

13:54Mm.

13:55Do you think it's a right not to pay?

13:56Why don't you go back and pay?

13:57F*** off.

13:58You can say f*** off as much as you want.

13:59I don't know.

14:00But everyone else has to pay.

14:01You're carrying a knife, do you see?

14:03It's the same with bike theft, phone theft, tool theft,

14:06shoplifting, drugs in town centres, weird Turkish barber shops.

14:10LAUGHTER

14:11I'm confused, though.

14:12Is that a barber shop specifically serving weird turks?

14:14LAUGHTER

14:15According to The Sun, Jenrick was repeatedly told...

14:16LAUGHTER

14:17..to f*** off.

14:18He then left his house.

14:19LAUGHTER

14:20APPLAUSE

14:21This is the Tory party conference.

14:22Over the weekend, the conference was so sparsely attended

14:23that several Tory MPs had to go back to the hotel

14:25and have an affair with themselves.

14:26LAUGHTER

14:27LAUGHTER

14:28We don't know who that is.

14:29LAUGHTER

14:30Elon Musk, who's a keynote speaker at the US-Saudi Investor.

14:32He then left his house.

14:33LAUGHTER

14:34APPLAUSE

14:35This is the Tory party conference.

14:36Over the weekend, the conference was so sparsely attended

14:38that several Tory MPs had to go back to the hotel

14:40and have an affair with themselves.

14:41LAUGHTER

14:42APPLAUSE

14:43We don't know who that is.

14:44LAUGHTER

14:45We don't know who that is.

14:46LAUGHTER

14:47Elon Musk, who's a keynote speaker at the US-Saudi Investor.

14:50Which sounds fascinating.

14:51What cheery prediction did he make?

14:52Was it AI?

14:53No.

14:54Musk said,

14:55Ultimately, there will be tens of billions of humanoid robots

14:57roaming the earth.

14:58Let's have a look at one of them.

14:59LAUGHTER

15:00APPLAUSE

15:01They're very lifelike, apparently, these humanoid robots.

15:03They're very lifelike, apparently, these humanoid robots.

15:05They have detachable hands.

15:06They're the Saudis.

15:07LAUGHTER

15:08Talking about exciting big world events, Helen, where have you just been?

15:25Yes, I went to the first ever Riyadh stand-up comedy festival.

15:27I wasn't even offered it.

15:28I wasn't even offered it.

15:29You weren't even offered it.

15:31I wasn't even offered it!

15:32I wasn't even offered it.

15:33It was insane.

15:34I wasn't even offered the gi... I would have had some of that sweet blood money.

15:40But luckily, I'm in the running for the Boca Haram Giggle Fest.

15:46Not for that.

15:51Who or what do 44% of people trust more than anyone, including their family?

15:55God?

15:57Close. AI.

15:59Oh, that's just tragic.

16:01And the head of Google said this week,

16:03don't trust AI.

16:04And you think, you put it out there.

16:07It's amazing what it can do.

16:08Yes.

16:09Would anyone like to see Ian and Paul as Muppets?

16:12Ian.

16:17That's good.

16:18Oh!

16:20I like that.

16:21And, Paul, here's one of you.

16:27They look so benign, don't they?

16:28Maybe we could do this to world leaders to make them seem less threatening.

16:32Here's Xi Jinping.

16:35LAUGHTER

16:36Here's Putin.

16:38And here's Trump.

16:41APPLAUSE

16:42Ian, do you want to guess?

16:51It's Gary Lineker.

16:52You're right!

16:53Is it?

16:54Yes.

16:55APPLAUSE

16:57Of course it is.

16:58Well, it didn't take him long to get a new job, did it?

16:59Yeah.

17:00Is he presenting Crutch of the Day?

17:01Yes.

17:02Is there any explanation for that photo? It's just...

17:03No, no. It's just...

17:04Yeah.

17:05It was just in my wallet.

17:06LAUGHTER

17:07Kelly, you managed to upset a couple of fellow North Westerners.

17:08What did I do?

17:09Well, perhaps we should look at what you did.

17:10After three wins in four, particularly after the win against Brighton, we were expecting he was going to be in a good mood. How significant was that last win?

17:16It was a huge win.

17:17I mean, do you think I was trying to find a little bit?

17:18I was trying to find a little bit.

17:19LAUGHTER

17:20Kelly, you managed to upset a couple of fellow North Westerners.

17:24What did I do?

17:25Well, perhaps we should look at what you did.

17:27After three wins in four, particularly after the win against Brighton, we were expecting he was going to be in a good mood. How significant was that last win?

17:33It was a huge win. I mean, do you think I was trying to find a little bit of a relegation, David, and I was actually in the club as well?

17:42Was it done as an April Fool joke or something?

17:44No, they just aren't very good at walking and talking. They were supposed to answer and then go.

17:51Right.

17:52LAUGHTER

17:53But they made it look natural.

17:55LAUGHTER

17:57Harry Saint-Germain have won the Champions League.

17:59PSG defeated four Premier League teams on their way to the final.

18:02Some football experts attributed this to the English club's heavier schedule.

18:06Other pundits put it down to an inability to modernise their tactics, while Gary Lineker blamed Benjamin Netanyahu.

18:13It's good that someone does.

18:18Just saying.

18:28Is it a cheese rolling?

18:29Yeah.

18:30Oh, God.

18:31That was fantastic.

18:32Absolutely.

18:33The annual cheese rolling contest at Cooper's Hill took place this weekend.

18:37Yes.

18:38And a wonderful, wonderful quaint English tradition.

18:42Take a look.

18:43You can only do stuff like that when you're in a country with good health care.

19:00Yeah.

19:01That's a...

19:02That's a...

19:03What did one of the winners have to say after the race?

19:09Aww.

19:10According to the BBC, after the race, several people were taken to the hospital to have their heads checked.

19:19Oh.

19:20When I pressed the button, he wasn't wearing a beret or holding a pallet.

19:34Right, so there's these rats that have been doing these paintings which have gone extremely well.

19:38What they do is they dip the rats into blue paint and they walk across the canvas and somebody in New York Art Gallery has paid £12 million with this huge canvas that's rat-based.

19:45Yeah.

19:46Yeah.

19:47What do you mean, yeah?

19:48Can't be right.

19:49This is the news that a group of rats in Somerset have launched their painting career.

19:52No, they haven't.

19:53They haven't launched it.

19:54Somebody else has done it.

19:55How are these artworks created by the rats?

19:59By dipping them in paint and then shoving them across something.

20:01Yes.

20:02It's either that or giving them lessons in perspective.

20:04That's exactly right.

20:06Shall we have a look at the rats' masterpiece?

20:07Yeah, go on then.

20:08Yes.

20:09Here we go.

20:10Oh, no, he's proud of it.

20:12Can they say he's proud?

20:14Their owner, Steph Toogood, told the BBC she wants to shift people's opinions of rats.

20:19She has 16 rats, but only 12 of them paint.

20:22Oh, really?

20:23What are the others who sculpt?

20:24Er...

20:29How are the Labour Council of Birmingham doing with the bin strike?

20:34Not well.

20:35Yeah, not too well.

20:36And the rats are now 17 feet.

20:41According to The Sun, the streets were being invaded by rats the size of cats.

20:45They just need to send in cats the size of dogs.

20:48Yes.

20:49LAUGHTER

20:54The Mail Online gave this graphic illustration of how bad the rat problem is.

21:00It's not the best way to sell a glove on eBay, is it?

21:03LAUGHTER

21:04People who like this item also like it.

21:07LAUGHTER

21:09BUZZ

21:15Yes, this is Penguin.

21:17They're not allowed to call themselves chocolate any more.

21:19Oh, yes.

21:20Because there's not enough chocolate in it.

21:21That's right.

21:22So they can no longer say, this is a chocolate bar.

21:24They have to say...

21:25It's a bit like Prince Andrew, isn't it?

21:26It is!

21:27LAUGHTER

21:28Penguin's can no longer be legally described as chocolate due to a reduction

21:31of cocoa in their recipes.

21:33Their status has now been downgraded to chocolate flavour.

21:37LAUGHTER

21:38Now, do you remember this, Club Biscuit's classic slogan?

21:41If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our club!

21:47See, it's clever advertising because it's not saying there is a lot of

21:50chocolate on a club biscuit.

21:51No.

21:52It's something that if you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit,

21:53then join our club.

21:54But you may not find a lot of chocolate on this club.

21:56LAUGHTER

21:57Even though that's your preferred biscuit of choice.

21:59Yeah.

22:00I think I'm going mad.

22:02Why would they now change the slogan to?

22:06If you don't want any chocolate on your biscuit...

22:08LAUGHTER

22:09..eat one of these.

22:11Time now for the odd one-out round.

22:14Anne Boleyn's fingers, murders in Midsommar,

22:18Elon Musk's progeny and penises on the bio-tapestry.

22:23PHONE RINGS

22:24Well, Anne Boleyn was repeated to have six fingers.

22:27Yes.

22:28The connection is extra numbers.

22:31Extra bits.

22:32Extra bits.

22:33OK.

22:34And Elon Musk has over eight million children.

22:37LAUGHTER

22:39He has a disputed number of children, I think.

22:42Yes.

22:43So I would think that three of them are in dispute,

22:45whereas in Midsommar Murders, there is a hell of a lot of murders,

22:48but there's a clear figure.

22:49So it could be Midsommar Murders.

22:50Is exactly the right answer.

22:53APPLAUSE

22:55Midsommar witnessed exactly 388 murders.

22:59One death involved a tumble dryer.

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23:22Now, the number of penises embroidered on the Vyya Tapestry.

23:25Doctor Christopher Monk, he's an expert on Anglo-Saxon nudity.

23:31That's what he tells the wife.

23:35He recently spotted...

23:38penis which has taken the total to a whacking rate 94. This is a common thing

23:43that men do is that they think you know we'd like to see their penises a lot

23:47they send us all these pictures of them. Are you suggesting the tapestry is one

23:51giant dick pic? Elon Musk said to have been offering his sperm to friends.

23:59Just a sherry for me.

24:03Time now for the missing words round and we start with shock as what wins

24:10election? Lawnmower. Labour Party. Eileen Jacobs. That's the closest answer yet.

24:19Is it? Shock as Adolf Hitler wins election. Not that one. This Adolf Hitler is a local

24:27councillor in Namibia. There'll be someone called Eileen Jacobs at home and Paul would have

24:31said her name firstly she'd be like oh my god Eileen Jacobs and then you've gone

24:34yeah that's the closest yet it was Adolf Hitler.

24:39Well Eileen needs to stop her programme of National Socialism. Now the BBC's going to

24:44get sued by Eileen Jacobs as well. Come on Eileen.

24:52Next up. A woman who threw message in a bottle into sea to find a romantic

24:56connection what? Marries Welk.

25:02Victim of catfishing.

25:07Hey!

25:09A woman who threw message in a bottle into sea to find a romantic connection gets

25:12reply saying please stop throwing rubbish in the sea.

25:20And here is Lorraine Forbes with her bottle.

25:25Well Lorraine has sent many messages looking for love in plastic bottles one of which literally

25:29took its recipient's breath away when it got wedged in a dolphin's blowhole.

25:34Next. Beginners to the world of roller skating should remember the saying what?

25:39It's not the rock in your roll it's the glide in your slide.

25:43What?

25:45Beginners to the world of roller skating should remember the saying don't go near

25:48the jungle because to a tiger you're mills on wheels.

25:52Should remember the saying you look like a tosser.

25:56These are all very good.

26:02Sadly the answer is beginners to the world of roller skating should remember the saying

26:07drill it till you kill it.

26:10Drill it till you kill it also being Donald Trump's environmental policy.

26:15Next.

26:16Local council plans Britain's first ever festival dedicated to what?

26:20Corruption.

26:22Local council plans Britain's first ever festival dedicated to...

26:26Margaret Thatcher.

26:28Oh really?

26:30The festival will feature special beers to celebrate Thatcher including Iron

26:34Lady and Grantham Lass and for later in her life old peculiar.

26:40There'll be a variety of events at the Thatcher festival but apparently no dancing

26:44because her grave is elsewhere.

26:50Finally German priests surprised to discover what while watching TV documentary?

26:55The priest Henry Linkert said if one could resurrect people I'd grab grandpa and give him a good thrashing.

27:01Oh that's priests for you isn't it?

27:07My advice.

27:08But before we go there's just time for the caption competition.

27:09Do you think I should stop the ozempic now?

27:13In a moment of compassion Prince Andrew is given a much needed drink.

27:17And I leave you with news that there's a deflating moment for the king as it's explained that he has nothing to unveil and is simply visiting a curtain factory.