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00:00possession so they're playing it safe and not going near any electronics this year which i'm
00:04trying not to take personally i'm the reason your mother-in-law likes you now you ingrate
00:09so you just want me to plug this christmas village in uh-huh that's right better safe
00:13than sorry this puppy draws a lot of current you know i'm gonna have to charge you my regular rate
00:17plus the holiday surcharge yes we are aware of that alberta what are you doing i'm came behind
00:25mark in case he gets shocked and thrown back you're trying to possess him but this is our
00:29first christmas together as a couple oh we'll be together i'll just be a mark man it would be so
00:35cool to possess someone i've had the munchies for like half a century i'm a pacifist but i'd murder
00:41somebody for a pringle okay there goes nothing huh damn it mama wanted a sazerac okay so i'll send
00:53you guys a bill merry christmas mark look trevor way in the back the orthodontist
00:58says a little menorah in the window i want to say that's an offensive stereotype but he looks
01:03a lot like dr rosenblad
01:05this dope furiously buying gifts on december 23rd that can be here by tomorrow it's like this
01:17every year when's he gonna learn okay you are not gonna believe this i just got off the phone with
01:23a publisher and apparently a booker on all day usa listened to my todd pod interview and he wants to
01:29include my book in a segment on last minute gift ideas it's crazy how long some people wait he didn't
01:36get you the jenny kane sweater because it was already sold out hope you enjoy your best buy gift card
01:41samantha this is huge for our book me a stocking stuffer huzzah this is incredible babe i'm so proud of
01:48you and we go she'll be able to witness the interview in person for it shall take place here
01:52in the mansion that i built i mean you didn't actually do any of the labor i married the man
01:58that signed the checks that paid for the gruel that fueled those young child workers
02:01sort of a sad little nursery rhyme i'm so nervous and so excited i mean national television what am
02:09i gonna wear maybe see what they have at the women's department at best buy
02:14it's so cozy everyone has hot cocoa in christmastown even that baby that don't seem safe
02:24all have questions about gifts for flower what the hell did i do that step back for a second
02:33thor i want to see something
02:34okay now come closer again
02:38this is wild thor your ghost power must be interacting with the electrical grid in christmastown
02:47yes thor feel power surging through body
02:51ow okay let's get you away from this thing before you burn down the whole house
02:58wait what were you asking something about a christmas gift for flower
03:03yeah i really want to wow her but not know what to get
03:06well what'd you get last year coupon for intercourse and candle so yeah
03:11bar set pretty high okay has flower mentioned anything in particular that she wants
03:15world peace and also food she often mentioned how she have munchies for many years
03:22well unfortunately there's no way to enjoy food or sazerac short of possessing a living
03:27interesting so you're saying thor should help flower possess living for christmas
03:32i mean if you could pull that off that'd be a pretty amazing gift
03:35yes then it is decided thor will get flower and living for christmas and sex coupon because
03:42tradition
03:43hello all hi
03:47every time you have got to learn how to enter a room woman
03:51i see it's not just the downstairs this room also reeks of christmas what are you so upset about
03:58uh the tree the decorations the general merriment that is so clearly afoot
04:04wait the merriment is afoot huh so steven stills had a merriment fetish
04:10i'm confused don't puritans love christmas
04:14puritans love christmas oh i would laugh were that not a trick the devil uses to enter thine
04:20body no there is only one proper way to celebrate christmas which is not at all you see puritans
04:26believed that to revel was a gateway to sin buckle up it's time for another depressing history lesson
04:32so on christmas there was no mirth in sight shops remained open work continued unabated and you would be
04:41fined for doing anything even close to celebrating
04:44it was wonderful
04:46well you've given us all a lot to think about
04:49and then came the tinsel
04:50oh it's still going
04:51fun
04:52how are you feeling babe you ready today's a big day
04:58i'm freaking out jay
04:59you should be nervous this interview is huge for both of us
05:02national television thousands of people could be watching
05:05it could be millions
05:06my god the 13 colonies must be bursting at the seams
05:10hey you got this babe you can put the toothbrush down
05:14the mayor's car is clean
05:16hey why do you think he drives such a fancy car you think he's taking bribes for permits
05:20peppermints
05:22is this helping sam
05:24no i'm sorry jay i just really need to collect my thoughts
05:28all right but
05:28you're gonna do great babe
05:30you think
05:31i know it
05:32oh
05:35have permits
05:36that's that's good
05:37yeah i get it
05:38sam
05:39you got the moment
05:40she's kind of in a mood
05:42i'm a little busy thor
05:43just need little help with flower gift
05:45wanted to ask your opinion
05:47i'm sure whatever you have in mind is perfect
05:49okay but thor want to tell you
05:51and then have extensive conversation where you tell thor how you feel about idea
05:55you know what thor
05:56why don't you just let us all be surprised
05:58so we can experience the gift whatever it is along with flower
06:02yes great idea isaac surprise flower surprise me and have a merry christmas
06:07okay
06:08and uh
06:09flower
06:10come in here
06:11oh it's happening right now
06:13hey thor what's up
06:14stand there
06:15bye samantha
06:16okay
06:17what's going on
06:20thor
06:24merry christmas
06:26oh dear
06:30whoa
06:35am i wearing a bra
06:37hey who shaped my pits man
06:41okay something very weird is going on
06:47is it less pink in here
06:49does it smell less like patchouli
06:51flower you are inside of sam
06:54this giant animal used his ghost power to channel electricity from the christmas village
06:59and hurl sam's body through you
07:01thus resulting in yet another christmas possession
07:05thor
07:06you did that for me
07:07aww
07:08no not aww
07:10samantha has a very important interview about her book and we need you out of her body
07:13post haste
07:14interview
07:15uh
07:15who will not know about it
07:17thor what did you do
07:20samantha
07:21yeah
07:21it's me and you're in big trouble
07:23but you tell thor to surprise you
07:26yes because i didn't think you meant this
07:28okay so you were surprised
07:30sort of seemed like mission accomplished
07:32now that that misunderstanding is cleared up
07:34we can take care of this
07:35right
07:36okay flower i'm gonna drive you over the boundary and get you out of my body
07:39wait flower have munchies for many years please just let her eat one thing
07:44make fall's christmas gift complete
07:47fine
07:49flower you can have one thing
07:51but then i want my body back and i can't keep saying this every christmas
07:55okay flower it's your time to shine
07:59did it used to be more pink in here
08:04flower take bite of cookie and satisfy munchies
08:08okay
08:08wow that is so good
08:16what's going on
08:18flower possess sam bought a very generous christmas gift from four
08:21okay flower you've had your fun but it's time to go
08:29how long has you been in there
08:30couple of minutes
08:31what that's not long enough
08:33samantha has a very important interview in an hour and she needs to focus
08:36an hour that's plenty of time flower
08:38listen to me run to the light and shut the door behind you
08:42no no there's not time
08:43whoa hey nancy
08:48how's it going
08:49please excuse my hairless pits
08:51okay nancy you're not being helpful right now
08:53i'm just looking after my girl
08:55when you possessed that workman back in the 1800s
08:59you were in that dude for days
09:01what i do inside of a dude is none of your business
09:04everyone stop
09:05this is not problem
09:07flower can have a fun
09:08then before interview she leaves sam body
09:11right flower
09:12wait where's she go
09:15flower has absconded with sam's body
09:18hell yeah
09:19drive it like you stole it flower
09:21you disgust
09:25me fat man
09:26oh hey patience
09:29oh you left just in time
09:30they're upstairs singing the 12 days of christmas
09:33i had to get out of there
09:34trevor
09:34also have disdain for the vile celebration of this holiday
09:38i didn't want to say anything in front of the others
09:40i'd prefer to let you corner the wet blanket market
09:42oh thank you
09:43just kind of my thing
09:44but if i'm being honest
09:46i'm not the biggest fan of christmas either
09:47really
09:48i was like the only jewish kid in my town growing up
09:51and so when the holidays rolled around
09:52i always felt a little like i didn't belong
09:54and in elementary school
09:56every christmas pageant
09:57they made me stand up alone
09:58and sing dreidel dreidel dreidel
10:00patience understands
10:02it's like that winter
10:04when i was spared from the great pox
10:06but all of my siblings perished
10:09why not me
10:11yeah
10:12um
10:13not exactly the same
10:15thank you for talking with me trevor
10:19patience is
10:21enjoying herself
10:24ah but not too much right
10:26val gets it
10:28so yeah flowers running around in a brand new sam suit
10:33oh that lucky son of a bitch
10:34mark that could have been us
10:36oh hi mark
10:37hey david
10:39is that woodstone that looks amazing
10:42i helped build it
10:44we've been working on it for the last few weeks
10:45my kid wants to be a contractor
10:47so we started with the gingerbread house
10:48what do we say after we're done
10:50we'll send you an invoice
10:52oh that is so cute
10:54but you're not really charging me right
10:56no it's a gift
10:57merry christmas
10:57hi gary from all day usa
11:01we're here to interview sam arendaker
11:03that's gonna be difficult
11:04great well i'm jay
11:06i'm sam's husband
11:07uh yeah she was around here
11:08sam
11:09sam
11:10i'll just go look for her
11:13follow the smell of burning bras
11:15you'll find her
11:16amanda you're an amazing person
11:20and the love that you put out into the universe is gonna come back to you tenfold
11:25well thank you
11:27i had no idea you were so spiritual
11:29yeah i once slept with the dalai lama's brother
11:32what is happening right now
11:34i'd say samantha got into my laudanum but i don't think it has that kind of shelf life
11:39oh hey gabe how's it going man
11:42good
11:44say listen do you know anywhere that someone could score around here
11:47oh i just cook
11:49oh come on gabe i'm cool
11:51i heard pot's a lot stronger these days
11:53i haven't smoked any since the 60s
11:56how old are you
11:58oh my god the crazy bastard did it
12:00flower is that you
12:01yeah it's me
12:02hey guys
12:03what
12:04oh sorry i was just talking to my friend who used to be a virgin
12:07but he's invisible to you
12:09okay
12:10i want what you have
12:12why is the virgin thing jermaine
12:13what is going on
12:15thor wanted to help flower possess someone for christmas and i guess he did it
12:19oh
12:19so can you hook it up or not
12:22look
12:22i have something but it might be a little intense
12:26dude i used to party with bobby and jerry
12:29i hugged a bear after woodstock and lived to talk about it
12:33no no you didn't
12:34the point is i can handle it
12:36okay
12:37it's called mistletoe
12:39wow
12:40you just put this under your tongue
12:42and when you see god tell him gabe said
12:44what's up
12:46flower here comes jay
12:47no
12:47who
12:48um god
12:49our heavenly father
12:51there you are
12:52we gotta get you back to the house sam
12:54what are you doing back here
12:55oh i was just getting drugs from gabe
12:57it's hilarious
12:59come on let's go
13:00we should probably go watch this
13:04oh hell yeah
13:05so then i said to goody mather that i could finish the quilt by sunrise
13:10oh my candle did burn low that night
13:13i love it you got that grind mentality
13:16you know it did
13:17i gotta say patience even though this is not my favorite season
13:20i'm having a pretty good time
13:22i guess it's true what they say
13:24misery loves company
13:26oh indeed
13:27she also loved making little corn husk dolls
13:30and saying the lord's prayer
13:31misery was a woman of many hobbies
13:33ha ha ha
13:34you're mishiggana
13:35what's that
13:36oh it's
13:38a yiddish word
13:38yiddish is sort of like hebrew
13:41i've always had an interest in hebrew
13:43you know the language
13:44he spoke
13:45well i don't really know that much hebrew
13:48i can count to ten
13:49oh
13:50i would very much like to hear that sometime
13:52it's cool that you're so interested in jewish stuff
13:56i know a little about puritan stuff
13:59i went on a field trip to a colonial village in the fifth grade
14:01my favorite part
14:03the butter churning
14:04but i could never quite get it
14:06the
14:07oh
14:08you're not gonna get butter like that
14:11no it is less of a circular motion
14:12and more
14:13like this
14:14one
14:15two
14:16three
14:16it is important to keep a rhythm
14:18one
14:19two
14:19three
14:20perhaps
14:21count with me
14:22in the language of your people
14:24if that's what you want
14:27echad
14:28steim
14:30shalosh
14:30slower
14:31echad
14:33steim
14:34shalosh
14:35i think this butter is firming
14:37hell yeah it is
14:39you know
14:42makeup is just a tool the patriarchy uses to keep women down man
14:46are you okay babe
14:48oh
14:49wow
14:51your beard is so soft
14:54okay
14:55oh very happy you like christmas present
14:57but time to let sam do interview now flower
15:00and she's asleep
15:02babe
15:03they're ready for you sam
15:04sam
15:07you ready
15:09yeah man groovy
15:11this is gonna be a train wreck
15:15all right here we are
15:17walter
15:17this is sam
15:18hey walter storm
15:20all day usa
15:20very nice to meet you
15:22i had them set us up here in front of this gingerbread house
15:25pretty cool huh
15:25cool
15:26okay
15:28babe
15:29you got this
15:30can someone get them out of the shot
15:33okay
15:34flowers inside me
15:35do something
15:36oh
15:37hey
15:37actually can we just have five more minutes
15:39nope
15:40we're live in
15:41five
15:41four
15:42three
15:43and we're live here with author samantha arendecar to talk to her about her historical fiction book
15:51about vampires
15:52oh no
15:53not vampires
15:54they're scary
15:55what kind of historical research did you do for the novel
16:02um seven
16:03what
16:04teen
16:05seventeen
16:08i'm sorry
16:09tell him you unearthed previously undiscovered primary source documents
16:15i found something in the earth
16:17was that good
16:18uh
16:21moving on to theme
16:23what was it about vampires that uh piqued your interest
16:26whoa
16:27is that a giant cookie house
16:29what is she doing to the gingerbread house
16:36i don't know
16:38thor the chimney tastes amazing
16:41okay sweetie i think that's enough
16:43hey get your own cookie house man
16:45yum
16:46yum
16:47it's like watching godzilla trample candy land
16:52okay
16:52the book is isaac higgingtooth colonial vampire
16:56available online and at bookstores left
16:58pick up yours today
16:59impressive composure under difficult circumstances
17:03he's a pro
17:04you made out with patience
17:08there was hebrew and churning
17:09things got out of hands
17:10we just couldn't stop ourselves
17:11this is a wild turn of events
17:14and now i'm freaking out
17:15because you know
17:16it's patience
17:17puritans don't do casual hookups
17:19she probably thinks we're engaged now
17:21trevor
17:22we need to speak
17:23i wanted to talketh about what happened earlier
17:26about our sensual union
17:30i should go
17:32please stay
17:33i have prayed on it
17:34and i have come to the conclusion
17:36that we cannot be together
17:39oh
17:40i mean
17:41oh no
17:42why not
17:43i do not want to hurt you
17:45but
17:46we come from two different worlds
17:48i do not think it could ever work out
17:50well
17:50i was hoping for something serious
17:53but
17:54if that's how you feel
17:55i wish there was some other way
17:57for i am sad as well
17:59goodbye trevor
18:01no harm no foul
18:07yeah except you just got dumped by patience
18:10any chance that stays between us
18:11well
18:12would it be embarrassing for you if it got out
18:14a little
18:15then no
18:16okay sam
18:18i mean flower
18:19here we go
18:20yay
18:29they're back
18:31i said i was sorry sam
18:34i don't want to hear it flower
18:36and you
18:36i can't believe you thor
18:37that was not cool big guy
18:39oh very sorry
18:41but maybe somehow this
18:42helped book sales
18:44maybe now sam
18:45sort of
18:46hot
18:47to a girl
18:47books
18:49you guys knew
18:50today was a big deal for me
18:51why didn't anyone do anything to help
18:54oh but samantha
18:55what can we do
18:56we're ghosts
18:57you know we love you sam
18:58we screwed up
18:59but can we just get to the part
19:00where you forgive us
19:01and we can all have a merry christmas
19:03no
19:03not this time
19:05because
19:06that interview aired
19:07and just like you guys
19:09it'll be around forever
19:10don't know why we need to drag our immortality
19:12into this
19:13babe let's just
19:14go to sleep
19:15and calm down
19:16and tomorrow's another day
19:17exactly
19:18it's another day
19:19of living with this curse
19:21another chance for a ghost
19:22to ruin something
19:23that's important to me
19:24god i wish i had never
19:26gotten this power
19:27i wish i had never been able to see ghosts
19:30did flower at least like christmas gift
19:38what'd you get me
19:40you don't remember possessing sam
19:43what
19:44no
19:45oh but that would have been amazing
19:48i have had the munchies for like 50 years
19:50jay
20:05jay
20:05hey guys
20:11oh
20:14okay i see
20:15giving me the silent treatment
20:17don't mind
20:22don't mind
20:22thaw
20:22thaw not sitting there
20:23what the hell
20:28what the hell was that
20:34hello
20:40jay
20:41surprise
20:46surprise
20:47carol
20:49what are you doing here
20:51you got sucked off
20:52you're right
20:53and i've been having a blast up there
20:55i can't say too much
20:56but they have pickleball
20:58that's it
20:59that's all i'll say
21:00carol what is happening
21:01i'm your little christmas carol
21:03you see around christmas
21:05we carols are given special powers
21:07including the ability to grant wishes
21:09oh
21:10also
21:11we can give out
21:12candy canes
21:14i think there's been some sort of misunderstanding
21:18i didn't make a wish
21:20oh yes you did
21:21you said and i quote
21:22i wish i had never been able to see ghosts
21:26okay
21:28so why are you here
21:30i'm here to show you what your life would be like
21:33if you'd never tripped on that vase
21:35if you had never fallen down the stairs
21:37if you had never gained the ability to see ghosts
21:40wow
21:42so let's get this started
21:43sam
21:44you're coming with me
21:45well that was supposed to whoosh us away
21:50but it's my first time
21:52hey
21:52i need to get some steps in anyway
21:54let's go
21:55you know carol
21:57i'm actually feeling a little silly about this whole wishing not to see ghosts
22:00ghosts thing
22:01holy crap am i day drinking with sasha and libby
22:05sam this eggnog is delicious
22:07and these gingerbread men you made
22:09so cute
22:10not to brag but i think this one is flirting with me
22:13look at you
22:14just enjoying a little christmas eve tipple with two of your closest gal pals
22:18but i don't get it sasha thinks i'm crazy
22:20no sasha thought you were crazy because she caught you performing a seance for the ghosts
22:25and she thought you and jay were murderers
22:27but that was because of the ghosts in this world none of that happened
22:31so she thinks i'm sane
22:32so she thinks i'm sane
22:33yep
22:34and not just sane
22:35funny
22:36short
22:37short bald and covered in crumbs
22:39i'm sorry is this a gingerbread man or the guy i dated before jay
22:42sam you are hilarious
22:46without the ghosts interrupting you all the time you're actually a much better conversationalist
22:50man i love to see these ladies in bikinis
22:53how does this place not have a hot tub
22:55ugh disgusting
22:56bright
22:57but you can't hear him so you don't care
22:59i hate to say it but we've gotta run
23:02next time at my place
23:03uh do you have wine
23:05of course
23:06then yeah i think i'll be there
23:12so what am i doing now
23:14oh just sitting there
23:15since you're not always taking care of the ghosts you actually have time to yourself
23:20whoa
23:21i can't remember the last time i just sat and read a book
23:24and look at me i don't even mind that trevor's reading over my shoulder
23:27i'm pretty sure he's trying to look down your dress but hey you don't know so who cares
23:32stupid camisole i'm getting nothing
23:35so if i have all this free time i guess that means the b&b still isn't doing very well
23:40are you kidding
23:41without the ghost to worry about
23:43you've really been able to throw yourself into making this place a success
23:47the b&b is thriving
23:50oh come
23:54woodstone b&b how may i help you
23:56freddie
23:57freddie
23:58he used to work here he was incredible but he quit
24:00he quit because of the ghosts but now he's all in on woodstone
24:04i'm so sorry we don't have any availability until january 17th
24:07hold on the b&b is sold out
24:10great we'll see you then
24:11who keeps searching girls gone wild on this thing
24:15i should've gone to arizona state
24:17i'm home
24:19hey freddie
24:21jay i missed you
24:22i missed you too
24:23i missed you too
24:24uh-oh
24:27mistletoe
24:28no
24:29oh
24:30i missed you
25:01i missed you
25:32it's a canhetti
25:33but that is impossible
25:34and yet in this world
25:35it's happening
25:36your wish
25:37we just wanted to remind you that the ceremony is to begin promptly at two o'clock
25:41weather permitting of course
25:43the wedding is indoors man
25:44right
25:45right
25:46right
25:47could be a tornado
25:48no no
25:49the only tornado shall be tonight
25:51in our marriage bed
25:53oh
26:01wait wait wait wait
26:02carol what is going on
26:03isaac can't marry heady
26:05he's
26:06gay
26:07why did you whisper that
26:09i don't know it seemed like a weird thing to shout
26:11here's the thing
26:12isaac only came out because you were there to support him
26:15without you
26:16he still hasn't figured out who he truly is
26:18huh
26:19i guess i did have kind of a big effect on him
26:22you've had a big effect on all of them
26:24without you
26:25operator never found out who killed her
26:27though we're still having his night terrors
26:29and pete never learned he could leave the property
26:31he never even tried
26:32he was told he couldn't
26:34and the man loves rules
26:35he won a goldfish at the state fair once
26:38and reported it on our taxes
26:40let me guess
26:41he also tried to report a free sample from the grocery store
26:44it's actually the other sam that's funny
26:48come on have a lot to show you
26:49christmas is always one of the toughest times to be dead
26:53wondering about my family
26:55are they doing okay
26:57do they even think about me
26:58they do
26:59your daughter laura named her son after you
27:02pete doesn't know that
27:03in this world you never invited me here to dedicate that weird bench
27:07pete never watched laura get married
27:09he doesn't even know little pete
27:11oh also miss his family
27:14leave behind young son
27:16we'll never get to know what he like his man
27:19no thor
27:20your son is like a hundred yards away
27:22tragic
27:23i hope he grew up to be
27:25great warrior
27:26kill many danes
27:28never eat best friend
27:30what?
27:31nothing
27:32random example not taken from thor's life
27:34the nice thing about the holidays is that the girls on the dating apps are lonely as hell
27:40i'm talking like six separate livings right now
27:42one may fly in from miami to meet up
27:44and what do you hope happens when she gets here
27:46i don't know maybe she'll choke on something and die
27:49it happens
27:50i get it
27:51sex with women and nothing like it
27:53which i know because of the 43 times
27:55oh that's right sas is still hiding the fact that he's a virgin
27:59this is painful
28:01has anyone found love?
28:02what about thor and flower?
28:04not even close
28:05flower fell into the well two years ago
28:08flowers in the well?
28:09well she was until you filled it with cement
28:11so now she's lost in the dirt
28:13a fact she keeps forgetting
28:15and then quickly rediscovers in an endless cycle of horror
28:18okay so is that it?
28:20or do you have more bad news to show me?
28:22more bad news
28:24the basement ghosts are really upset about your shiny new water heater
28:28wait
28:30everyone shut up
28:32i think i heard a gurgle
28:35oh there it is again
28:37sorry that was my tummy
28:39oh damn it steward
28:41you got our hopes up for nothing you toads ass
28:44this newfangled water heater hasn't made a peep since that blonde witch put it in
28:48god i hate her
28:50she's very rude
28:51last week i saw her drop a piece of pizza on the ground and pick it up and eat it
28:56and it fell cheese side down
28:59i think we can move on
29:03what's going on here?
29:04hedy i need to talk to you about the wedding
29:06are you still waffling on a best man? i do agree slim pickings but Sasami's probably presents the most handsome stage picture
29:15no it's it's more than that
29:18oh my gosh is he gonna tell her?
29:20could you just watch?
29:21you'd be a very annoying person to go see a movie with
29:24maybe we push it
29:25what?
29:26why rush a wedding in the dead of winter when spring is just around the corner?
29:30because we were supposed to get married in spring
29:33last spring and you wanted to push till summer citing the april racket of the birds
29:37but then summer was too hot and then fall came around and you started whining about how it's the season when you're most sleepy
29:42i've always been very sleepy in the fall everyone knows that
29:45isaac what's wrong?
29:47if there is something else going on just tell me
29:51well
29:53actually
29:54come on
29:56isaac tell her
29:57she's your dearest friend you can trust her
30:03wedding prank
30:04i'm sorry what?
30:06you've
30:07been
30:08wedding pranked
30:12score one for Higgintoot
30:13you should have seen the look on your face you were freaking out
30:16indeed
30:19i don't want to have this talk again
30:21oh sounds like the show's about to start come on
30:23it's christmas eve you can't go back into the city already you just got home
30:27i don't know what you want me to tell you i have to work
30:29these two back at it
30:31classic sam and jay fight is like tiffs between whoopie and megan but they can't cut the commercial
30:37we get to see everything
30:39wait why is jay working in the city?
30:41jay never wanted to move out here remember?
30:43he only stayed because of your accident
30:46but in this world you were just pulling him away from his cooking and his friends and his career
30:51didn't he open his own restaurant at the b&b?
30:54without the ghosts the idea for Mahesh never came up
30:57so jay's resentment built until he finally took a job back in the city
31:01oh sam's mad
31:03there goes the vein
31:05can't you just call in sick or something?
31:07i don't want to call in sick i love my job
31:09yeah but you're never here
31:11i never wanted to be here
31:13you dragged me here
31:17not nice to drag people places
31:19skin on back of head wear way quicker than you think
31:21this one time
31:23i don't want to hear with the wall
31:25we seemed so happy together this morning
31:27a performance for your assistant freddie
31:29he's seen so many of your fights
31:31so now you guys overcompensate in front of him
31:34okay
31:35let's give this one more shot
31:39isaac higantut and henrietta woodstone
31:41holy crap it worked
31:43it's so lovely to be gathered here today with you and all of your closest friends
31:45oh it's the wedding fun
31:47my sincere hope is that the two of you enjoy a marriage as loving and as loyal as what i had with carol
31:53let's see
31:55now if anyone here sees any reason why these two should not wed then now would be a great time to pipe up
32:01nothing
32:03really
32:05captain higantut
32:07lieutenant colonel jessom
32:09you've come
32:11yes i know we've had our differences
32:13but i couldn't let you get married without saying
32:17come on nigel you got this
32:19congratulations
32:21okay
32:23well i guess
32:25there's nothing left to do
32:27except continue
32:29unless
32:31going once
32:32anyone
32:33look at me
32:34i'm 15 feet away from this train wreck and there's nothing i can do
32:37why do i look so happy
32:40jay and i just had a huge fight
32:42well you're not going to want to hear this one
32:44but with you and shay growing apart
32:46you started an emotional affair with someone you met online
32:50what
32:52who
32:54no
32:55no
32:56no
32:57no
32:58no
33:00okay i'll call you when i get to the city
33:04no jay don't go
33:06okay
33:08hetty
33:09do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband
33:12i do
33:13you've got to stop this none of this is right
33:15i'm sorry sam it's too late
33:17what do you mean
33:18isaac do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife
33:21well you made a wish and i was sent here to grant it
33:23i do
33:24but this isn't what i want
33:26eddie and isaac i now pronounce you husband and wife isaac you may kiss the bride
33:38that's it the tour's over this is now your life
33:41merry christmas sam
33:44no
33:50oh great
33:51i'm not someone of jerks
33:53i mean
33:54i love ya
33:55oh
33:56carol
33:58carol
33:59carol
34:00come back
34:01what's wrong with sam
34:02i want things to go back to the way they were
34:04i want pete and alberta to be dating again
34:07me and pete
34:08how does she know our names
34:09sass shouldn't be hiding the fact that he's a virgin
34:12virgin
34:13virgin okay yeah tell that to all my satisfied customers
34:15and i want to live in a world where isaac is proud to be gay
34:19gay
34:20a red-blooded billy goat like me
34:23you jest
34:25most of all i i want jay back
34:28i don't care if things aren't perfect or if our life is complicated sometimes i just want to face it all with him
34:35i wish things could go back to how they were
34:39i wish i could see ghosts again
34:46that's my girl
34:47welcome back sam
34:52i can see you
34:57hetty can you hear me
34:59alberta can you see me
35:01what's with sam she sounds like yentl
35:03oh thank god
35:04i made a terrible wish that i couldn't see ghosts and then carol granted it
35:08my carol
35:09yes but she was christmas carol and everything was messed up
35:13you were there isaac but you were marrying hetty
35:16oh
35:17and you were there thor but you didn't know your son
35:20was i there
35:21i don't really remember
35:23the point is i regret what he said i'm sorry
35:26i'm so happy i can see you guys
35:28i was just upset
35:30hey uh i was just talking to that guy babe
35:32and i'm not
35:35whoa
35:36what was that for
35:37for everything
35:38i love you jay
35:43whoa
35:44i think i fell asleep for a few minutes
35:46but then the smooching woke me up
35:48hey man
35:49it's flower
35:50what
35:51what what's happening
35:55jay
35:56it's me
35:57flower possessed me
35:58thor did it as a gift to her
36:00next year we'll only give sex coupon
36:02it's enough
36:03what
36:04okay well we gotta get flower out of you before this interview
36:06what interview i thought i blew the interview
36:09what are you talking about
36:10the interview hasn't happened yet
36:12you were just getting your makeup done
36:14there she is
36:15it's showtime
36:18hey man
36:19aren't you that guy from tv
36:21you know i was on tv once
36:23i flashed the second basement at a san francisco giants game
36:27cool
36:28maybe we don't mention stuff like that on the air
36:30huh
36:31this way please
36:32flower
36:33sam
36:34flower sam
36:35okay
36:36you sit right over here
36:37cool
36:38uh guys you know what
36:39um
36:40actually i i think sam needs to go outside for just a minute
36:43sorry we're about to go live
36:45we need to buy sam some time to regain control and get to the boundary
36:48i got this
36:49i got this
36:55uh walter just a minute i'm picking up a weird room tone guys can we fix this now
36:59tiny camera
37:01feel odin's wrath
37:03uh we lost picture
37:06unbelievable
37:07all right we need a battery change on camera one
37:10this is incredible teamwork and if it were saint patrick's day i'd be jumping in with a contribution of my own
37:16whoa what the
37:20hey hold the roll let's get this cleaned up
37:22all right we're taking a type 2 and we're going live
37:25take control sam this is your moment
37:27this is your moment
37:30i'm back
37:31no go get to the boundary
37:34run
37:35like there's a sale in old navy
37:37the navy
37:47man the pringles were good
37:50sorry about all that possession stuff sam
37:52all good
37:53she's back
37:54she's back
37:55all right i think we're good to go
37:56camera's ready
37:58you good babe
38:00we're live in three
38:02that's right jill i'm here in new york's hudson valley with author of isaac higgintooth colonial vampire
38:11hey sam thanks for being here
38:13thank you so much for having me
38:15and so this is a book where you can have a laugh maybe a cry and hopefully learn something about the origins of our nation
38:22well i certainly enjoyed when george washington turned into a bat did that really happen
38:27i'm kidding of course
38:29well anyhow thanks sam jill back to you
38:33oh you crushed it sam
38:35and if i had money and the ability to turn pages i would buy your book for sure
38:39babe
38:40you were amazing
38:42thanks jay i couldn't have done it without you
38:45without any of you
38:47i just feel so lucky to have all of you in my life
38:49even thor
38:51yes thor even you
38:52and not to relitigate but you did sort of say to surprise you
38:57we'll leave it that
38:59i know the possession wasn't ideal
39:01but it was a really groovy gift
39:03i mean i got to take drugs for the first time in sixty years
39:07i'm sorry what do you mean you took drugs
39:09the mistletoe
39:10the drug i got from gabe
39:11i took it well
39:12we took it on my way back from the restaurant
39:14well look at that
39:16you were high as a kite
39:18i suppose that explains this whole visit from carol nonsense
39:23i guess it does
39:24okay i can't help it i gotta watch it again
39:26i'm so proud of you babe
39:28trevor help me out with this scratch and sniff sam got me for christmas
39:40come on come on come on
39:42wow
39:47for a piece of paper with cartoon eyes and a pepperoni bow tie
39:51that's pretty good
39:52great
39:53every time
39:54patience
39:56what's up
39:57i come with good news
39:59your disappointment at our parting gave me pause
40:02what
40:03what are you saying
40:04i'm saying that i now believe that we should be together
40:09yeah
40:10but
40:12different worlds
40:13oh
40:14sometimes that first thought is the best thought
40:17oh but that can be remedied
40:18i have met your friends and you can meet my people
40:22where is this going
40:23trevor lefkowitz
40:25dweller of the overground
40:26son of abraham
40:27holder of my heart
40:29allow me to introduce you to
40:31the others
40:36oh holy night
40:41new cbs next
40:42our victim got crushed in this nutcracker of contraptions
40:46tis the season
40:47tis indeed
40:48andrew rannell's guest stars
40:49is she okay
40:50are you okay
40:51no
40:52elspeth
40:53is all new cbs next
40:56we wanted more everybody loves raymond
40:58we got it
40:59get your hand out of my pants
41:01the new everybody loves raymond 30th anniversary part 2
41:04cbs monday
41:06live cbs january 11th hollywood's biggest party is now bigger than ever
41:11ever
41:12ariana hold my finger
41:14nikki blazer is back
41:16hosting the golden globes
41:18live cbs sunday january 11th
41:19and streaming on paramount plus
41:20at paramount plus
41:22at paramount plus
41:23at paramount plus
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