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FunTranscript
00:00Yeah, Boston and Montreal play against each other often.
00:02What is your room number?
00:04This is such a bad idea.
00:05You're not going to tell anyone.
00:07There's no one to know.
00:08A whole lot of kids are going to be looking up to you.
00:10Where's your word, Rosanoff?
00:12My what?
00:12So, what's my name going to be?
00:14Dream.
00:16How much pressure do you feel from the fans, from the hockey world in general?
00:20What was that?
00:20Not everything is about you, Hollander!
00:22What the fuck are you doing?
00:24I'm in public.
00:25No one is looking...
00:26You don't know that.
00:27Hollander, it's your next season.
00:30Hollander, it's your next season.
01:00Hollander, it's your next season.
01:07Just...
01:10You think I'm pretty?
01:11You think I'm kind of...
01:12I'm gonna fuck.
01:15Let's go!
01:16Good job, give you an A, a golden star.
01:45You think you're clever, good luck, she took a break, made a mistake, when she met driver, get us forever, get us forever, get us forever, get us forever, you think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty, you know what you wanna say to me.
02:15Well done, I'm going back out on the ice for Boston, I'm not a little bit of fun.
02:17I'm going back out on the ice for Boston, I'm going back out on the ice for Boston, I'm going back out on the ice for Boston, I'm not a little bit of fun.
02:24I'm going back out on the ice for Boston, I'm not a little bit of fun.
02:29Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon, I really hope you're gonna get out soon.
02:36I know you're up at night, hunched over your phone like a tree, a dog, a hill that's crooked from doing bad bites.
02:52You say you're lost to seek all the power in your life.
02:59You're washed up irrelevant, I'm standing in my light.
03:06You're standing in my light.
03:10Now step.
03:18Now step.
03:24Now step.
03:27This is the real world.
03:29I'm in the air.
03:31In spite of everything, I guess there's just no hidden.
03:36Nice try.
03:37Now get out of the way.
03:39Good job.
03:41Just take a fucking hug.
03:43I said I'll see you.
03:44You wanna be a.
03:46You wanna be a.
03:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:51Nice try.
03:53Get out of the way.
03:54You're in our way.
03:56Get lost forever.
04:08Hey, if Rosano fucks you tonight, I'm gonna fucking back.
04:14I think you mean fucks with, buddy.
04:16I fucking mean what I mean.
04:18You're burning a fake Rosanoff outside right now.
04:20The fuck does that mean?
04:22They do it to you all the time in Boston.
04:23You wanna see it?
04:24Uh, no, thanks.
04:25Honestly, guys, it doesn't help me focus.
04:27Yeah, maybe it'll be weird somewhere else.
04:30I'm not even that weird.
04:32Whatever you need, Captain.
04:34Hey, Hollander.
04:35Can you talk to NBC and some radio outlets in the nighttime?
04:37Yeah.
04:40Oh, Mr. Hollander.
04:42What does Montreal have to do to win tonight?
04:45Well, hockey is a complicated, nuanced game.
04:48But it would be helpful if we scored more fucking goals than the other team.
04:52And how about that other team?
04:55Elia Rosanoff has been on a tear lately.
04:57He had a hat-trick last week, and he's almost caught up to you in the scoring race.
05:00Wanna know what he had to say about that this morning?
05:02No, I'll listen if he actually catches up to me.
05:04Thanks, guys.
05:04Mm-hmm.
05:09Mm-hmm.
06:41Wow, this Montreal girl works you up, brother.
06:44Shut your idiot face, Marley.
06:46You're straight up blushing, Ross.
06:47Well, no.
06:49Never in life have I blushed.
06:50Russians do not do this.
06:51You will murder me.
07:08Maybe.
07:10Get in.
07:15Why the fuck did you think it was okay to sex me before the game?
07:18What the fuck?
07:20You were hard, weren't you?
07:21For how long?
07:22The whole game.
07:24You're such a fucking ass.
07:26Oh, you missed me, didn't you?
07:28I fucking didn't.
07:30And I still beat your ass.
07:31Oh, barely.
07:39Wow, nice place.
07:40Thanks.
07:41I bought it a couple years ago, but then this year I bought another one right next door.
07:49I eventually might turn it into one place, but for now I'm renting the next door one out.
07:54Mr. Businessman.
07:55Shut up.
07:56Mr. Landlord.
07:59You asked.
07:59No, I didn't.
08:14So what do you want me?
08:17In the kitchen, on the floor?
08:19Fuck you.
08:24Did your mom buy all these pillows?
08:26No.
08:28I hired someone.
08:29A designer.
08:32You think there is enough?
08:34Such an asshole.
08:37I think maybe you'll like it.
08:40Smell the cigarettes from here.
08:42I had one.
08:44You shouldn't be smoking.
08:45You shouldn't be talking.
08:51Come here.
08:52No, you come here.
08:53No, you come here.
08:54No, you come here.
08:59No, you come here.
09:01It's the one.
09:08It's the one.
09:18Don't worry, it will fit.
09:19Oh, wow, wow.
09:32You think this will be enough?
09:34Fuck off.
09:49Where were you?
09:59Please don't go.
10:05Please don't go.
10:11Oh, my God.
10:14Stay right here.
10:22He's okay.
10:24Hmm?
10:27Oh, shit, Rosen.
10:41Is he okay?
10:53It's you.
10:56It's you.
10:58Okay.
11:00It's you.
11:02It's you.
11:06It's you.
11:07It's you.
11:08It's you, Reginald.
11:09It's you.
11:35Are you, oh, God, I wonder.
12:05No, the bed's all dead.
12:10What?
12:12Shut up.
12:17I will show it now, okay?
12:35You killed me, Wander.
12:44I'm dead.
12:46That was so fucking hot.
12:53Worth the wait.
13:05It's you.
13:09I should go.
13:11It's you.
13:17So, uh, obviously we won't see each other during the Olympics, right?
13:21Oh, right.
13:24Your family must be happy there in Russia.
13:28Mm, yes.
13:30My parents are pretty psyched for me.
13:32They're pissed they can't come, but my mom is threatening to wake up before I am to watch every game.
13:40I bet, uh, your parents will be there, right?
13:43My father, yes.
13:45Maybe my brother, but who knows.
13:48Cool.
13:49Anyways, I'm psyched.
13:51I've been dreaming about it my whole life.
13:53Dreaming of what?
13:54Bronze medal?
13:56You fucking wish, dude.
13:57Hey, uh, remember when I made you come hands-free?
14:05Don't fuck yourself, Rosnan.
14:08Such a good drink.
14:10Your cab is definitely here.
14:22Bye.
14:22Welcome back to Man in the Crease, your all-star hockey podcast.
14:35For the first period, we are four days into this year's Winter Games, and there's already a contender for top story here at Sochi, Russia.
14:41What an embarrassing end to a promising year for the Russian men's hockey team.
14:46A hard pill to swallow on all mice, and especially for the young phenom, Ilya Rosanoff, chosen as his country's captain.
14:54All in there.
15:22What's up, motherfucker?
15:22What's up, motherfucker?
15:24Boys.
15:25Holy fuck, can you believe Russia?
15:26Be nice, Fonny.
15:27Nice to fucking lost Latvia.
15:29Did you see that game?
15:30Yeah, it was a straight-up shit show.
15:32A debacle.
15:33Hey, what did Ross say about it?
15:35Uh, I don't know.
15:36Nothing to me, that's for sure.
15:38I think he knows Canada has this in the bag.
15:40Uh-uh.
15:41Seriously, this year, baby, we're fucking coming for you.
15:43Okay.
15:43Trust me.
15:43You look great in Silver, Fonny.
15:45Don't even stress.
15:45Oh, good one.
15:49Does your room have that smell?
15:51Yes.
15:52Yes, it does.
15:53Is it black mold?
15:55Because that's what JJ thinks it is.
15:56Yeah.
15:56He's probably right.
15:57The good news is, we're not going to be here alone.
15:59All right, so tonight we can do the men's short form figure skating here.
16:01My buddy Joe is in that program.
16:03We're trying together.
16:04Would you guys be cool to do that?
16:06I'd love to show up for him.
16:07Hell yeah, man.
16:08Show up for any dude who's that brave.
16:09What do you mean?
16:14Well, I'm assuming your buddy might be gay.
16:17I mean, if I can pray for a dude to show up to a place like this and be like,
16:21hey, here's me.
16:23Russia is not safe for folks like that.
16:26Fucking balls of steel, man.
16:27Come on, let's go.
16:28Let's go.
16:28Come on.
16:29Come on, baby.
16:31Oh, boy.
16:32I'm gonna be nice for you.
16:32No, I'm gonna be nice for you.
16:34Oh, man.
16:35I'm so sorry for you.
16:37I'm gonna be nice for you.
16:40Man, your buddy fucking killed it.
17:01Yeah, he did.
17:05I'm just going to find the bathroom.
17:10Hey.
17:31I'm not here.
17:32No, I'm not.
17:35I saw you up here.
17:36I wanted to see how you're doing.
17:37Fine.
17:39Go sit down.
17:40We hit.
17:44We are not anything.
17:46Go away, Holander.
17:54Are you okay?
17:57Please, go.
17:59He didn't answer my text.
18:02No, I did not answer your boring text.
18:05Now you go.
18:07Fine.
18:09Fuck.
18:09I'll get you back.
18:10I'll get you back on time.
18:10I'll get you back to the left.
18:22You need to meet with me.
18:24Yes, my father.
18:26Minister still wants to meet you today evening,
18:30regardless of what you want.
18:32This is my honor.
18:34You have to be proud of my honor.
18:37After yesterday,
18:39you won...
18:43...Latvii.
18:44Latvii.
18:46And he's still a bit.
18:48How did you do it?
18:50Do you not regret it?
18:51Not regret it.
18:52Well, not so.
18:54They don't teach you discipline in this American League.
18:57It's not a game, it's a shame.
18:59It's a real shame.
19:01It's not to be the hope you showed up in childhood.
19:04Now I play better than when I play.
19:07Our team is injured.
19:09Our team is injured.
19:10Our team is injured.
19:11Is injured?
19:12What is this American absurd?
19:14What is it?
19:15You, captain, you make them injured.
19:18You always find someone who's guilty from childhood.
19:27Who is it to you?
19:31Your mother?
19:32She can't do this.
19:37No, my father.
19:39Mom is injured.
19:40Mom is injured.
19:42Mom is injured.
19:43You remember me?
19:44I was in your head.
19:45You remember?
19:46I was in your head.
19:47I was in your head.
19:48I was in your head.
19:49I was in your head.
19:50I was in your head.
19:51Where are you?
19:52Where are you?
19:55In Moscow?
19:56Of course.
19:57Of course.
19:58Of course.
19:59I was in your head.
20:00I was in my head.
20:01Of course.
20:02We need to go to the night of the night,
20:09so I can meet with the minister.
20:13Yes, ready?
20:16Let's go.
20:18Of course, he's always the same.
20:21He's always the same.
20:23He's always the same.
20:25He's not in shape.
20:27He's always the same.
20:29He's always the same.
20:32We need to take a look.
20:34He's always the same.
20:36It's good, good.
20:38It's bad.
20:39It's always the problem.
20:42It's always the problem.
20:44He's always the same.
20:46He's too much talking.
20:49I'm not too much talking.
20:52You're my angel.
20:54You talk too much,
20:56especially when it's about hockey.
20:58Only when we win, dad. I'll bring her in a bar. He needs one more cup.
21:07Look how she's got it for you.
21:09From the same time.
21:12I'm an angel. It would be nice if I remember it.
21:15I want to drink.
21:18I don't know if it's interesting.
21:28You have a long time.
21:38It's a long time.
21:42You have a long time.
21:50I think you do not play a lot.
21:52I should say thanks, but I know you did not watch any other games.
21:55For those who have been a whole life son of a coach coach, you have to avoid this.
22:01I sometimes blame you on me.
22:04When I understand what it costs, I blame you on me.
22:07In any case, it doesn't have any significance for you.
22:10It doesn't? Why did you decide that?
22:13Your father is a fool, who will ever kill you.
22:17You need to stop worrying about what he thinks.
22:21I don't care about these crazy games, when you have a real chance to win this year.
22:26Really?
22:27Yes, it's true.
22:28Hunter and Admiral won't go through New Jersey.
22:31But New Jersey won't go through Holland and Montreal.
22:34I think you will win this year in Montreal.
22:37In this year?
22:38Yes, in this year.
22:40Because I think he's traumatized.
22:45Why do you know everything?
22:47On the extra sense.
22:48With the stalemate Browser, you don't have to pass away.
22:53You weren't going to see this guys.
22:54You saw in the British company.
22:55It's good to watch.
22:56You can win this game.
22:57You can win in the rest.
22:58You can win over the West.
22:59You can win whoever wants to win the West.
23:00You are reasons why you are in the West.
23:01In Chicago.
23:02Not so far...
23:05In the end, you, more likely, will be in San Francisco.
23:08And they are good, too young.
23:10But you're too young.
23:12Because you will win a week before I'd have played with my father.
23:16me
23:21спасибо 1 5
23:23the center нужно идеально выгодить
23:25ты всегда идеально выгодишь
23:28но вам нужно еще договориться
23:32увидимся больше не то пока пока
23:36ну что
23:45как приезжая
23:48там классно я просто обожаю это место клубы
23:56от балбашки девушки просто прелесть а мальчики
24:04ну ты же видел французских парней далее
24:11боже вообще ничего
24:21не шутишь
24:27не флортуешь
24:30в ответ
24:31раньше
24:35ты был веселее
24:38помнишь
24:51здесь серьезно
24:58опасность раньше возбуждала
25:00тебе
25:02если помнит меня не сменяй
25:07мы жены дети саша
25:11да
25:13это точно
25:18прекрати
25:20ладно
25:22поехали куда-нибудь
25:25нет
25:35ладно
25:37я найду вечеринку
25:40окей
25:43пока я
25:50был рад тебя видеть
25:52был рад тебя видеть
25:59я не знаю
26:00я не знаю
26:01я не знаю
26:02я не знаю
26:04я не знаю
26:06я не знаю
26:07я не знаю
26:08я не знаю
26:09я не знаю
26:10я не знаю
26:11я не знаю
26:12я не знаю
26:13я не знаю
26:15я не знаю
26:16я не знаю
26:17я не знаю
26:18я не знаю
26:20я не знаю
26:21я не знаю
26:23я не знаю
26:25я не знаю
26:27я не знаю
26:29я не знаю
26:31я не знаю
26:33я не знаю
26:35я не знаю
26:36я не знаю
26:38не знаю
26:40я не знаю
26:41я не знаю
26:43я не знаю
26:45я не знаю
26:47я не знаю
26:48я знаю
26:49я не знаю
26:50Well
27:00я не знаю
27:00мне conheц
27:01Okay, listen the fuck up.
27:04Look, I don't give a fuck how many goals I've scored.
27:08I don't give a fuck how I played two fucking nights ago.
27:11I don't need to think about that.
27:13That was yesterday.
27:14That was before.
27:15Now, I only need one thing.
27:20I need to win.
27:24Here, at home, tonight.
27:28As much fun as it would have been to go to California
27:30and humiliate them there,
27:32but I want to hear our fans.
27:35I want to hear them scream.
27:37I want to fuck San Francisco.
27:42I know you can do it.
27:44I've seen you fucking do it.
27:45I've seen every one of you do it.
27:48So leave it all the fuck out there tonight.
27:52Because this is our fucking night.
27:57This is our fucking cup.
28:00Fucking fuck San Francisco!
28:02I can't believe that asshole's about to win the cup.
28:17Shane hates him the most.
28:19What?
28:19You hate Rosanoff.
28:21Of course.
28:22But he's very good at hockey.
28:25The best, probably.
28:26Uh, no.
28:27You're the fucking best, All-Ander.
28:29Yeah.
28:30Not that animal, shit show, cock sucking, Russian.
28:33Well, that is that.
28:35The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
28:39What a comeback story this year for Lilia Rosanoff.
28:42The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs,
28:45leading his team in block shots.
28:47He jumps against.
28:47He jumps against, and obviously, the performance.
28:50Oh
29:20Well, nice watch.
29:23I guess I gave those two for free.
29:25What the fuck were you, Ron?
29:26Five seconds.
29:2725 seconds.
29:28Or even doing.
29:31And now, presenting the Lord Tower Award.
29:34I was busy.
29:35That was who?
29:36Ilya Rosanoff and Shane Hawke.
29:44But the most important thing
29:46is the frames we make along the way.
29:50Hey, before we give out next award,
29:54can I get a selfie with you?
29:56What?
29:57Come on.
29:58When will this ever happen again, buddy?
30:01Okay, fine, but hurry up.
30:09Great.
30:10Give me your number.
30:11I'll text them to you.
30:12No chance.
30:14And the Lord Tower Award
30:16for most sportsmanlike player
30:17goes to...
30:19Oh, my God.
30:20SECOND CHIMPее
30:28помощь knows what he works
30:31to tell the kids.
30:31Yes, sir.
30:32I'll talk to you.
30:33If that happens,
30:34let's get close new business.
30:34And today,
30:35he squares my most important
30:36except rain.
30:37Hi, folks,
30:38I'll take a living live by your house.
30:39Only in us,
30:40but only in us,
30:41writes.
30:42Well, what, what the fuck do you want, Rosanoff?
31:07You haven't answered a text from me in like six months.
31:10You won't even acknowledge I exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us
31:14and then it's for some fucking clown show.
31:17So, yeah, what the fuck do you actually want from me?
31:22Well?
31:26I want you to suck my dick.
31:28Oh, fuck you. You are unbelievable.
31:30You suck my dick.
31:40Maybe ask nicely.
31:53Huh?
31:54Please.
31:55If you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick,
32:04you will have to ask nicer than that.
32:09Please get on your knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck my dick.
32:18Please.
32:19No.
32:34What?
32:35No.
32:38We will go back to our seats, watch the rest of this boring show,
32:42and then go to boring party after.
32:46And then, when I've been waiting all night,
32:50you'll come back to my hotel room
32:51and I will maybe,
32:54maybe,
32:56do more than just suck your dick.
33:00When did your English get so good?
33:04I, uh, I read The New Yorker now.
33:07Really?
33:08No.
33:09The New Yorker is boring.
33:13My dad loves it.
33:16Ah.
33:17So being boring is,
33:18is genetic.
33:20Wow.
33:21Genetic.
33:27Let's make a deal.
33:30If you win MVP tonight,
33:31I will blow you,
33:32fuck you,
33:33whatever you want.
33:34And if you win?
33:56Good luck coming.
33:57I'm going to be one of the most famous places.
34:13They're going to be...
34:14I'm going to be in this position.
34:16Okay.
34:17I'll line up.
34:18Especially since...
34:20I'm going to ask...
34:21I'm going to be one of the most famous places.
34:23See?
34:23I'm going to be one of the most famous places.
34:25Congratulations.
34:46Now take off your clothes.
34:49You're such an asshole.
34:50You're such an asshole.
35:20What?
35:38Just a lot of windows.
35:50Good.
36:03Now get on the bed.
36:11This is a good hotel.
36:13Very nice vodka.
36:15It's hard to find in America.
36:18Okay.
36:21Touch yourself.
36:22What?
36:23Show off for me.
36:24I want to watch you.
36:25You what?
36:27It's my special day, Hollander.
36:28I want to watch.
36:29I've never...
36:31No shit.
36:32Fuck you.
36:34Give me some vodka, at least.
36:35No, no, no.
36:37Vodka is for after.
36:38It's your reward.
36:39I want to watch.
37:08do you want to know how it feels
37:16how it feels
37:19holding the cup
37:21you fucking asshole
37:23I can barely describe it
37:25oh my god Hollander
37:38fuck
37:40are you gonna fuck me?
37:51we will see
37:52I need
37:56what?
38:00you know
38:00tell me
38:01you
38:05I need you
38:35I need you
39:05so Russia this year was something else
39:15it's intense there
39:20so are you heading back soon?
39:29back
39:29to Russia for the summer?
39:34oh yes
39:35why?
39:44what do you mean why?
39:47do you have to?
39:50there is no have to it's
39:52it's home
39:53yeah but
39:56I don't know is it safe?
40:01what do you mean safe?
40:03I don't know
40:04do you do you even like it there?
40:15what difference does it make?
40:17a pretty big one I think
40:19I need to sleep
40:26oh
40:28yeah me too I should have
40:32so I'm off
40:42goodbye Hollander
40:45you mean geç on in you
41:04have to be here
41:04until now I have to feel happy
41:05but you have to understand
41:06let's see if you're here
41:07I find your body
41:07I know I'm not seeing you
41:08I'm not sure
41:09you are the one
41:09I've been doing
41:10I don't know.
41:40What the fuck?
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