- 1 week ago
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00:00:00So I'm fighting the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, uh...
00:00:15Yeah, him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58Do you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03It's too long.
00:01:14It's too long.
00:01:23I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:56I don't care how.
00:01:57Just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:15I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:17Seven years.
00:02:27Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:30And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:31Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:47Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:56And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:29Uh, I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Danny!
00:03:49Yo!
00:03:50What?
00:03:57Danny!
00:03:58Yo!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:02No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:03Just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry!
00:04:07Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:17I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:20He's gorgeous.
00:04:21Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:28She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:34You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:39See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:43What's your name?
00:04:43Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:47Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:50I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:58So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:13That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:30so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:43Okay.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:57Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:05This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:07Pictures.
00:06:16Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:19Touching.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41Well, I think we got it.
00:06:43Oh, I need some photos of us together, too,
00:06:46to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:07:02Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:04From my family to you.
00:07:05Bad news, boss.
00:07:15The agency said that the girl
00:07:16that they recruited to be your fake wife
00:07:18bailed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:21Then who is...
00:07:22Who is she?
00:07:27Whatever.
00:07:28It doesn't matter.
00:07:30I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:35I already found someone.
00:07:41Okay.
00:07:41Well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:46Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:51in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:53I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:07:59Fine.
00:08:01Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:15Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:20Oh!
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:24Sam, is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:30of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:33Get me a DNA test for that little girl
00:08:35that he's with.
00:08:39She does kind of look like him.
00:08:44So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:46we will say they're from you.
00:08:49Here, let me get this.
00:08:50I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice.
00:09:05In front of them.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:11And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:15Strictly business.
00:09:16Anything physical outside of that is not happening.
00:09:20What?
00:09:22Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:25I just don't want Piper to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:31Let's go.
00:09:38Here.
00:09:39What are you doing?
00:09:40I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:42Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:45and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:47and I don't want your money.
00:09:50Attention shoppers,
00:09:51all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5712 pumpkin pies, I hear this right?
00:09:59They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:01Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:06You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah.
00:10:07Just these things.
00:10:08Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500, get 10% off,
00:10:14and you are just short $15
00:10:15if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:17Oh, great.
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:20Well, you get a move on.
00:10:23I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah.
00:10:29Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:34I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:54Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:55Not the pies.
00:10:56You can just set those on top.
00:11:02Hi, guys.
00:11:03And I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:10Of course.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:13I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:17Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:19Just to give it away.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29Do you do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:33We should go.
00:11:38We got to pick up paper.
00:11:42Sit.
00:11:42Watch out.
00:11:43You done feeling me up?
00:11:53Shut up.
00:11:54Oh, sorry.
00:11:54I was just in character, wifey.
00:11:56Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:10And don't be late.
00:12:16Harrison Group, you did you do construction for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:34Not that I'm judging.
00:12:35I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:39Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:43I think that's respectable.
00:12:46Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:49Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:53So, it's perfect.
00:12:54Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner.
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:05I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:09Let's go, Sam.
00:13:31It's time to check out the new HQ side.
00:13:33Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:37It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's?
00:13:42Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:14:00Hey, there they are!
00:14:01Hey!
00:14:02Nice to meet you!
00:14:04Aw, dad.
00:14:06Aren't you native?
00:14:06Oh, I missed you.
00:14:09So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:13He's coming.
00:14:14Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:16Good, good, good.
00:14:18So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:22When's he arriving?
00:14:23Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:29Not surprising.
00:14:30I mean, she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:35No, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:39This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:45Auntie Pamela?
00:14:45Yeah.
00:14:46Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:50We're only worried about you.
00:14:52All these years without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:56You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:59And look what happened.
00:15:01She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:05I'm not alone.
00:15:06Mm-hmm.
00:15:06And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:12He's a manager.
00:15:14Manager of what?
00:15:17Trash.
00:15:18Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:23You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:25Actually, he's right here.
00:15:31Oh, wow.
00:15:32Wow, he is really good looking.
00:15:37Ah, must be AI.
00:15:40Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:43Fake.
00:15:44That's enough.
00:15:45She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:49Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned him down?
00:15:56Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:00Makes 500 grand.
00:16:02A year.
00:16:03That's half a million.
00:16:05Half a million.
00:16:06Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:10And speak of the devil.
00:16:15Willie, you made it.
00:16:27There you are.
00:16:29Oh, look at you now.
00:16:31Livin' the dream.
00:16:33Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:35Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:41So married, huh?
00:16:43Is it serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:47It's pretty serious.
00:16:48Wow.
00:16:49Well, you must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:52Makes sense, though.
00:16:53You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:56Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:59Ah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:01Yeah.
00:17:01Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:06That's right.
00:17:06Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:10Women love a man in red.
00:17:13Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:16When I sit on my lap.
00:17:18Don't touch me.
00:17:19Oh, so entitled.
00:17:22Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:25And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:29I mean, look at that car.
00:17:32Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:35Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:39Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:43I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:51My mom would never marry.
00:17:52She already has a husband.
00:17:54He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:59Is that so?
00:18:01Well, then, where is he?
00:18:03Because I don't see him.
00:18:05Does anyone see him?
00:18:08Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:14That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:17And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:23Mommy.
00:18:24Hi.
00:18:24Are you okay?
00:18:25I see your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:27I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:30Come on, honey.
00:18:31Let's go.
00:18:33What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:39Let me go.
00:18:40Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:46Let me go.
00:18:46Let me go.
00:18:46Let me go.
00:18:47Let me go.
00:18:57Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:04Max, you came.
00:19:10Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:14Where's Piper?
00:19:15William Hitter?
00:19:17Mom, Dad, I'll take her inside.
00:19:19Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:22Well, well, well.
00:19:23If it isn't the Waste Marriager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:27That's right.
00:19:27Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:33Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:37I'm Max.
00:19:38Eva told us all about you.
00:19:39From New York.
00:19:40Polite.
00:19:41Handsome.
00:19:42Just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:48He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:52Son of a bitch.
00:19:54You just ruined my suit.
00:19:55And watch the way that you drive that pristine automobile.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:01Oh, my God.
00:20:02That's worth more than a house.
00:20:05That car?
00:20:06It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:10Wait.
00:20:12Are you?
00:20:17Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:20And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:22I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:24You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:26You stole it.
00:20:28That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:30Jesus.
00:20:31How did he get away with it?
00:20:32That's what I want to know.
00:20:34Enough.
00:20:35Please.
00:20:37I trust my daughter.
00:20:39She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:43Max, be honest with me.
00:20:45Where did that car come from?
00:20:46How much do you want for it?
00:20:49I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:53So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:58All right, that's it.
00:20:59I'm calling the cops.
00:21:00Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:02Wait.
00:21:03What?
00:21:04Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:06Oh, well.
00:21:08Too late.
00:21:15Listen, hon.
00:21:16I believe you.
00:21:18But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:24It's my car.
00:21:25Okay?
00:21:25It's not stolen.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:30Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:32Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:34Okay, I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have to get lost.
00:21:38And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:41Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:43Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:46Loser!
00:21:46Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:51Jesus.
00:21:52Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:58Here.
00:21:59Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:04Mr. Harrison?
00:22:13Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Just play alone.
00:22:20Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:22Now get the fuck out of here
00:22:23before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:26Yes, sir.
00:22:27I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:30Please, sir, my serious apologies.
00:22:31Please.
00:22:41Oh, that William.
00:22:44What a jerk, huh?
00:22:46He fooled me.
00:22:47What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:52Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:55We were just looking out for you.
00:22:57Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:00You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:02Soon.
00:23:03Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:06A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:11We are family, aren't we?
00:23:13Family takes care of each other.
00:23:15If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group,
00:23:18you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:20Abigail, come on.
00:23:22Talk to her for us.
00:23:24Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:27Yeah.
00:23:28I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:30My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:33Your best life, my new son-in-law.
00:23:36Come on, guys.
00:23:37Let's go in.
00:23:38Welcome to the family.
00:23:42Welcome.
00:23:43Come on in.
00:23:44Come on in.
00:23:45This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:50You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:54My fault.
00:23:55You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:58Oh!
00:24:08Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:13I told you.
00:24:14I work for Harrison.
00:24:14I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:15I have a friend in high places.
00:24:18A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:23Yes.
00:24:23It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people.
00:24:26He knows people.
00:24:26He has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:30You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:32Yeah, and you best not forget it.
00:24:34Capisce?
00:24:34Oh, my God.
00:24:35God, just don't blow your cover.
00:24:36God, just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:39Mom!
00:24:39Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:44Oh, honey.
00:24:45We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking.
00:24:51I think they get it, hon.
00:24:52I think they get it, hon.
00:24:53Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:54Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:56Oh, she's fine.
00:24:57Why don't you guys just get settled in and, uh, we will go check on her.
00:25:00And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06All right.
00:25:06See you in a bit.
00:25:07Joey?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:13Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:19It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:27You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:37What are you doing?
00:25:39It was weird.
00:25:41They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just falls off.
00:25:45Come on.
00:25:46That's ridiculous.
00:25:48I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make out progress to prove it?
00:25:52That's...
00:25:53Later.
00:25:57Let's go.
00:26:01Here we go.
00:26:04Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:26:09To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:11Aw.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:15Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:17Aw, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:24But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:28Ooh.
00:26:29Oh, no.
00:26:29Mom's testing him.
00:26:30She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:32You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:36Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:42Kicking my foot.
00:26:43Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:45Oh, jeez.
00:26:46Oh, jeez.
00:26:47It's okay.
00:26:49Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:50I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:5212 pumpkin pies.
00:27:06Did I hear this right?
00:27:07They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:14Are you happy now?
00:27:16That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:18Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:21We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:27But our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:33Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:37Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:40Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:43Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:47I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:49Well, um, it's...
00:27:52Silly face.
00:27:53Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:58Silly face.
00:28:01I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:03Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:05Those are so nice.
00:28:09You can afford this on a waste manager's salary.
00:28:12Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:15And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:17I'll drink to that.
00:28:19I agree with you there.
00:28:21So come on, guys.
00:28:22Let's eat.
00:28:23Come on.
00:28:23And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:38I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:41Nice and festive for you.
00:28:44No complications.
00:28:45Sorry, honey.
00:28:47Mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:50Oh, honey, newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:54Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:56The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:58Something about water conservation.
00:29:00That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0215 minutes?
00:29:05Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:06Just shower together.
00:29:08Shower together?
00:29:12Just shower together.
00:29:14Okay, you guys, have a good night, okay?
00:29:16Okay.
00:29:20You heard her.
00:29:41Whoa!
00:29:42Whoa!
00:29:43Why are you stripping?
00:29:46Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:48Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:49You have 15 minutes.
00:29:51Nice try.
00:29:51I am not showering with you.
00:29:53All right, sleep yourself.
00:29:55More room for me in there.
00:29:56Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:14Come on, Max.
00:30:16Get out of the way.
00:30:18We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:19You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:22Relax.
00:30:23I won't touch you.
00:30:25Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:28But that'll cost extra.
00:30:30Yeah.
00:30:32Hmm.
00:30:39And your dreams.
00:30:42Free to join me.
00:30:42You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:31:05You wish.
00:31:07Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:09Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:11It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:14Oh, yeah?
00:31:15True.
00:31:15Holy shit.
00:31:29I mean, this is, I mean, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:35I'll say.
00:31:37What happened to all that cool guy confidence.
00:31:41Still think you can lose this?
00:31:44Baby.
00:31:45I don't think I want you.
00:31:52Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:53Or maybe we should.
00:31:58God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:01Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:09Mom, we're so sexy.
00:32:20Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:21What?
00:32:23I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:25It's not you, Max.
00:32:26It's us.
00:32:27It's this.
00:32:27This is all an act.
00:32:28Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:31You're right.
00:32:34I'm sorry.
00:32:35I just don't mean to be sorry.
00:32:36Just...
00:32:45That birthmark.
00:32:51What is that?
00:32:54It's him.
00:32:55The man from New Year's.
00:32:56Is he...
00:32:57Piper's father?
00:33:01Why are you acting?
00:33:04Oh, my God.
00:33:06Max is Piper's father.
00:33:08Are you okay?
00:33:09I just...
00:33:10Yeah.
00:33:11I just, um...
00:33:12I just got lightheaded.
00:33:14I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:16Alone.
00:33:18Of course.
00:33:22We have a daughter together.
00:33:24Oh, my God.
00:33:25What do I do?
00:33:26I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:34You can take the bed.
00:33:36Thanks.
00:33:39Hey.
00:33:40Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:42Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:44I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:46So if there's something you need,
00:33:48I can help.
00:33:49I want to help.
00:33:51He's Piper's father.
00:33:53He has a right to know.
00:33:54Um, Max,
00:33:57how would you feel
00:33:59if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:04A child?
00:34:06No, no, no.
00:34:07That's impossible.
00:34:08I'm very careful.
00:34:11Mostly.
00:34:14I just mean I'm not the type of guy
00:34:15to sleep around.
00:34:16Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:19and I don't want any loose ends,
00:34:21you know?
00:34:22Right.
00:34:24He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:26I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:29Why do you ask?
00:34:31No reason.
00:34:32Just, just curious.
00:34:34No, I feel like you're
00:34:36going somewhere with this.
00:34:37What?
00:34:39No.
00:34:40Well, then,
00:34:41can I ask you a question?
00:34:44Shoot.
00:34:44Shoot.
00:34:44Where did you get these?
00:34:51And how did you know
00:34:52my exact size?
00:34:53I did not get those.
00:34:55I don't know where those came from.
00:34:57Are you sure you're just not trying
00:34:59to break the contract?
00:35:00give me that pass.
00:35:03Come here.
00:35:05Give me that pass.
00:35:05Woo!
00:35:17Eva,
00:35:18the truth is
00:35:19is that I...
00:35:21Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:25Just a second.
00:35:26Come in.
00:35:28Hey, hon.
00:35:29Oh!
00:35:31Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:32but Piper is asking for a bedtime story
00:35:35before I tuck her in.
00:35:36Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:38We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:39I can see that.
00:35:42Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:44I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:46Well, that a boy.
00:35:48You know what?
00:35:48Just put his shirt on.
00:35:50I'm going to go get her.
00:35:51Piper!
00:35:52Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:56He sprang to his sleigh,
00:35:57to his team gave a whistle,
00:35:59and away they all flew,
00:36:01like the down of a thistle.
00:36:03But I heard him exclaim
00:36:04as he drove out of sight,
00:36:07Merry Christmas to all,
00:36:08and to all,
00:36:11a good night.
00:36:14If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:16she'd be over the moon.
00:36:18Good night, Piper.
00:36:23Is her dad still around?
00:36:25Yeah, but he doesn't know it
00:36:27because you are her dad.
00:36:29Uh, no.
00:36:31That man has no idea
00:36:33what a treasure
00:36:34he's missing out on.
00:36:38Do you really think so?
00:36:41From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:44Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:45He deserves to know.
00:36:53Max.
00:36:53You're Piper's father.
00:37:05I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:07I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:07Where's Piper?
00:37:18Where's Piper?
00:37:28She must have snuck off
00:37:35while we were asleep.
00:37:51God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:53Just going to kiss and run?
00:38:04Not on my watch.
00:38:09Yeah, this.
00:38:11I remember this.
00:38:13Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:25How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:28Good morning, Ms. Smith.
00:38:29It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:31Wonderful.
00:38:32Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:36Oh, no.
00:38:37What is that?
00:38:38Sardines and saltines.
00:38:40It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:42It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:44during wartime.
00:38:45Don't be shy.
00:38:46Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:48Max, you don't have to.
00:38:50No, no.
00:38:50It's okay.
00:38:51It's a Smith family staple.
00:39:04No.
00:39:04No.
00:39:10Good?
00:39:14Mmm.
00:39:15Good?
00:39:16It's grumpy.
00:39:18Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:20You got to go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:23Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:26That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda
00:39:28in her brood this year.
00:39:30What's the deal with them?
00:39:32Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:34Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:38Hey, don't worry.
00:39:40I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:44Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:48Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:39:51Wait, that earring.
00:40:05Wait, that earring.
00:40:07You like it?
00:40:09I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:11Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:14I don't really remember the details,
00:40:16but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:19Right.
00:40:21Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:23Anyone can have it.
00:40:24Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:26She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:30So Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:35But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:36What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:41An aging single mom.
00:40:44Slim pickings.
00:40:45I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:47That explains it.
00:40:49She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:52Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:53Look, Ava is your niece.
00:40:55Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:57Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:01Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:02Exactly.
00:41:03Not like my Sierra married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:10Oh, they're here.
00:41:13Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:19Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:20Merry Christmas.
00:41:22You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:24I am.
00:41:25I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:27Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:28Welcome.
00:41:29You're Ava's husband.
00:41:31But you're gorgeous.
00:41:35But how does handsome as you?
00:41:38Look at you two.
00:41:39You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:41Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:42Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:44This is from Max and I.
00:41:45Oh, my goodness.
00:41:46Thank you, Ava.
00:41:47Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:50Oops.
00:41:51Oh, my bad.
00:41:52Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:55How thrifty.
00:41:56Andy, not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:59Mommy's right.
00:42:00You mean all a hack?
00:42:01You little...
00:42:03You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:42:08Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:12Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:14My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:17He could ruin your life.
00:42:19Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:32I'm fine.
00:42:33I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:34Yeah.
00:42:35It's okay.
00:42:35It's okay.
00:42:38What are you...
00:42:39Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:44Did you just slap me?
00:42:46Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:47You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:49You know what, Sierra?
00:42:50I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:55Her family.
00:42:57She means me.
00:43:02You okay, honey?
00:43:04Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:06Do something.
00:43:07You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:09I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:12Oh, wow.
00:43:13I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:18Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:21Let's call him.
00:43:22I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:25Please.
00:43:26Who do you think you are?
00:43:28Enough!
00:43:31There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:34Fine, Dad.
00:43:35Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:37They're just jealous.
00:43:38For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:43I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:46I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:50Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:51All right, that's enough.
00:43:53Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:43:55Is this a joke?
00:44:18Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:20Hold it.
00:44:20Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:23My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:28My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:32King crab, fresh crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:38Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:42And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:44It's just petty.
00:44:45Maybe so.
00:44:47But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:51Fine.
00:44:52Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:54Come on, let's go.
00:44:55No, no.
00:44:56Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:00Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:03I know, dear.
00:45:04I just want to have our family together.
00:45:06Fine.
00:45:07We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:10Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:11What was that?
00:45:12What?
00:45:15I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll stay.
00:45:21Can I have a little napole?
00:45:23It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:25We'll get something right after.
00:45:27Like drive-thru?
00:45:29I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:31That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:36No strays.
00:45:37Ow.
00:45:38Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:39Yes, please.
00:45:41You hit my child.
00:45:42You're fucking crazy.
00:45:43Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:51Don't worry, baby.
00:45:52I'll handle it.
00:45:55Don't worry, baby.
00:45:57I'll handle it.
00:46:01Piper.
00:46:02Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:06Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:10Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:12As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:15Actually, I do.
00:46:17He's such a liar.
00:46:19This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:21Oh, it will be.
00:46:24Sam.
00:46:26Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:29I'm already on my way.
00:46:35Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:37I'm already on my way.
00:46:40You hear this guy?
00:46:42He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:44From Antarctica.
00:46:46Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:49His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:52Max, what are you doing?
00:46:54Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:55Santa's already on his way.
00:46:56Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:06A helicopter?
00:47:14There's no way.
00:47:21How did you pull this off?
00:47:23Sam is like family.
00:47:24I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:25Thanks, boss.
00:47:27Boss?
00:47:29Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:31Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:33Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:37I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:40You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:44Mm-hmm.
00:47:47Come on.
00:47:49You can stop kidding around.
00:47:50If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:55No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:57Come on.
00:47:57You can stop the charade.
00:47:59Okay?
00:47:59This is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:02Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:05Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:08How is this possible?
00:48:20This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:27Who are you?
00:48:29I told you.
00:48:30I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:31That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:34Wait.
00:48:35No.
00:48:35Hold on.
00:48:37You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:40You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:44Hmm.
00:48:45Some of the small ones.
00:48:47I mean, you know that.
00:48:49You work for me.
00:48:50Oh, God.
00:48:51I insulted my own boss.
00:48:53I'm finished.
00:48:59Oh, God.
00:49:00I insulted my own boss.
00:49:02I'm finished.
00:49:04Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:06Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:08Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:10For tonight, your fee stands.
00:49:13And with that, your career.
00:49:15You're fired.
00:49:16Fired?
00:49:18Sam.
00:49:22Fired?
00:49:23Oh, God.
00:49:24I can't be fired.
00:49:26What?
00:49:28Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:29You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:31Please, Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:49:34Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:38And you.
00:49:43Oh, me?
00:49:45Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:47That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:48A family tradition.
00:49:50Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:53Sam?
00:49:53Sam?
00:49:57Will you do me the honors?
00:50:00Gladly.
00:50:01Merry Christmas, Aunt Limey.
00:50:09Father, do something.
00:50:11Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:13I'm leaving.
00:50:15Mmm, pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:17Come on, sweetie.
00:50:26Daddy had the scrapped line just for you.
00:50:29Eat as much as you want.
00:50:30Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:34I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:36I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:38Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:43Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:44Just like this.
00:50:46Does he really mean that?
00:50:48Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:50I can't tell.
00:50:51And that terrifies me.
00:50:58Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:51:00I brought you a gift.
00:51:01Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:08Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:12Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:15Tell me everything.
00:51:16Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal,
00:51:19didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:22Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:26A high school dropout?
00:51:27In the Harrison family?
00:51:30Not a chance.
00:51:34She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:38Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:39Silence.
00:51:40Get me the address where she works.
00:51:42It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:44That's nice.
00:51:46We own that one.
00:51:47Good work.
00:51:49But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:57Thanks.
00:52:01So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:07Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:10And how about you?
00:52:14Me?
00:52:15Yeah.
00:52:18Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:19I don't know.
00:52:23Eva.
00:52:23That birthmark.
00:52:36Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:42Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:44So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:46Uh.
00:52:48No feelings, no complications.
00:52:50That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:51Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:54Max.
00:52:55Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:58It's cold.
00:53:00Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:03Max.
00:53:06I need to tell you something.
00:53:09Something important.
00:53:11What's gotten into her?
00:53:13Is she hiding something?
00:53:15Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:18I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:21Piper is...
00:53:24Piper is...
00:53:25Piper is...
00:53:28Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:30Oh, sweetie.
00:53:32Oh, my gosh.
00:53:33It's all swollen.
00:53:34Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:36Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:37Mommy's gonna go get a first date kit, okay?
00:53:42Come on, Piper.
00:53:42Okay, let me see.
00:53:49I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:54But that's not true.
00:53:55You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:59Uh...
00:54:00Daddy!
00:54:01No!
00:54:02Well...
00:54:02Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:54:14Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:18Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:19Really?
00:54:20Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:21Daddy.
00:54:25You think it was Sky?
00:54:26I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:33Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:34I have one, too.
00:54:36Dad.
00:54:38I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:40Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:43Really?
00:54:44No way.
00:54:45No.
00:54:46It was actually a cactus.
00:54:47But it's still cool.
00:54:48Cool.
00:54:50I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:53Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:58My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:55:06And how old are you?
00:55:07Six.
00:55:08Six?
00:55:09That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:12Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:14Ivar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:19What do I even say?
00:55:20And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:23Sorry, honey.
00:55:24This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:28Um, yeah.
00:55:31Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:34Eva.
00:55:38Okay, look.
00:55:42Piper is...
00:55:48Go on.
00:55:49Oh.
00:55:53It must be an emergency.
00:55:58Excuse me.
00:55:59Sorry.
00:56:00I took this.
00:56:07Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:09Yeah.
00:56:11Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:13I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:19Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:21I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:25She's a high school dropout.
00:56:27Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:29And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:32I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:33Max.
00:56:33That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:42I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:43You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:45Your mother would take her away.
00:56:47After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:51Eva?
00:56:53Maximus?
00:56:53Are you even listening to me?
00:56:56No, Mom, Mom.
00:56:57Listen, I'm sorry, okay?
00:56:58Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:57:01I'm not leaving her.
00:57:03Eva?
00:57:14Oh, thank you.
00:57:15This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:22Oh, wow.
00:57:24That's so cool.
00:57:25What did you make?
00:57:26Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:29Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:31Just glad you were here.
00:57:35What have we got?
00:57:36Oh!
00:57:37Wow!
00:57:38Damn, these are nice.
00:57:39Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:47Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:49It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:51Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:52Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:54Ready?
00:57:54Ready?
00:57:54Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:57What have we got, guys?
00:57:58Billy.
00:57:58Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:58:04You never told me.
00:58:08Have we met before?
00:58:13Have we met before?
00:58:16She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:18I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:24Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:35I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:37Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:38They're very common.
00:58:39I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child,
00:58:42no matter how I feel about him.
00:58:44I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:46Maybe.
00:58:49Are you okay?
00:58:53Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:56No.
00:58:57I'm fine.
00:59:01Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:04I got you this.
00:59:06You got me a gift, too?
00:59:08Tis the season.
00:59:09Open it.
00:59:14Gloves.
00:59:35Did you make these?
00:59:37Yeah.
00:59:38I know this is a fake marriage,
00:59:40but that's Christmas.
00:59:42You've already done so much for me.
00:59:44I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:48How did I feel?
00:59:50Warm, right?
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:52Warm.
00:59:54Soft.
00:59:58Perfect.
01:00:02Thank you, Eva.
01:00:04I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:08Really?
01:00:09Yeah, my mom.
01:00:11She partied all the time,
01:00:13and I got gifts.
01:00:15Plenty of them,
01:00:15but I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:20Nothing personal.
01:00:23Well, you deserve it.
01:00:25You're a good guy,
01:00:27and someday you'll find someone special
01:00:31to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:33What if that day's today?
01:00:39What if I already found someone special?
01:00:43Right here.
01:00:44Right here.
01:00:44Max, we can't...
01:00:57Max, we can't...
01:01:09If you want me to stop,
01:01:13you better tell me right now.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:20I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass,
01:01:30I still can't resist him.
01:01:31I don't want you.
01:01:44I don't want you.
01:01:49Oh, God, you were trying.
01:01:56I'm not looking at this side.
01:02:01Piper!
01:02:10Piper?
01:02:13She can't see us.
01:02:26Eva?
01:02:35Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:50That was way too close.
01:02:51Yeah.
01:02:53We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:57Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:03Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:07You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:14Let me give it to you.
01:03:26Yes.
01:03:27No.
01:03:28No.
01:03:30No.
01:03:32No.
01:03:35No.
01:03:36Hello Eva Smith, I'm Max's mother, name your price, what will it take for you to leave
01:04:05my son alone? What? We both know my son is way out of your league. Take the money, leave
01:04:13my granddaughter with us and go. My son will find a better wife and a better mother for
01:04:19his child. Piper is my daughter and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give
01:04:23her up. So you keep your money and I'll leave on my own but I am not handing Piper over to
01:04:28you. There's my beautiful wife. You okay? Look we made it through Christmas. So I think
01:04:46it's best we go our separate ways. What are you talking about? It's over. It's not that
01:04:53hard to understand. Eva, wait. So last night meant nothing to you? Max, it's not real.
01:05:11None of it was real. So it's just a goodbye. Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:19Look, last night I let my guard down. But I'm a mother and my choices affect Piper. And
01:05:29being with you can mess up everything between us. Just tell me what you need. I'll do whatever
01:05:35it takes to be a good husband, a good father. Just say the word.
01:05:40You don't get it. You don't get it. I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:02I won't give up on us.
01:06:10Are we here? Yes. As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:29Piper, sweetie, wake up. We're home.
01:06:31How can she just walk away?
01:06:45Don't forget you have to meet my mom. It's part of the agreement too.
01:06:49Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:52You promised. Eva, I haven't asked you for much. Can you do this for me please?
01:07:00All right, fine.
01:07:01When?
01:07:03Two days. I'll come pick you up.
01:07:06No need. Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:07:14I know you and mommy thought, but she still really likes you. So don't give up, okay daddy?
01:07:22Thank you, sweetie. If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:31Eva's meeting my mother today. Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:53Boss?
01:07:54Boss?
01:07:58Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:08:02I need to go in back with my family.
01:08:04Family?
01:08:05Boss, you okay?
01:08:07Never better.
01:08:09Go get her, Max.
01:08:13Give it to you, your best smile.
01:08:15Ah, there he is.
01:08:19Maximus, darling.
01:08:20I have some prospects for you.
01:08:23Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:28Oh.
01:08:30I told you.
01:08:32I already found the woman I love.
01:08:35Well, I...
01:08:37Maximus, stop this.
01:08:42That evil woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:45Tell me what kind of woman you want,
01:08:48and I'll find you another.
01:08:49Sir, you are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:52No, I'm not.
01:08:55Oh.
01:08:56I work in waste management,
01:08:58and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:09:00I'm Eva's husband,
01:09:02and I'm a father.
01:09:05What?
01:09:05Oh, that's her.
01:09:21The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:26Hi.
01:09:26Welcome in.
01:09:27Can I help you find something?
01:09:29I wanted to try those.
01:09:31Awesome, I'll get him for you right away.
01:09:36Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:42No, no, no.
01:09:44I know what I want.
01:09:45Size seven.
01:09:48Oh, baby can't even walk,
01:09:50but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:52Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:09:54Ignore her.
01:10:00She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:10:02Here, let me help you.
01:10:04Come on.
01:10:07She seems kind.
01:10:10I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:10:17She's just doing her job.
01:10:20How do they feel?
01:10:22Well, I love the style,
01:10:24but it's too small.
01:10:25I think I need a size up.
01:10:28Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:32Right away.
01:10:34I'll be right back.
01:10:35She's not only kind,
01:10:36she's patient.
01:10:38Was I wrong about her?
01:10:39Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:58Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:00She can't walk.
01:11:04That's just pure evil.
01:11:06Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:11:11She's in a wheelchair.
01:11:13Who cares?
01:11:13It's the last pair.
01:11:15I get paid commission.
01:11:22I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:25See?
01:11:27This is your whole problem.
01:11:29This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:33I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:36I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:39She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:42People who insult her all day?
01:11:45I'm your manager.
01:11:46Sell the old bitty the shoes
01:11:52or you're fired.
01:11:59Did I stutter?
01:12:05You don't have to fire me.
01:12:06I quit.
01:12:14I don't work here anymore.
01:12:17Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:12:20They're broken.
01:12:21Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:23You're a good person after all.
01:12:27Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:29I'm sorry?
01:12:30Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:34Get out.
01:12:41You're not disabled?
01:12:42Selling a broken heel
01:12:44to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:47Absolutely shameful.
01:12:49Who are you?
01:12:50I am the chairwoman
01:12:52of the Harrison Group
01:12:54and the owner of this store.
01:12:57You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:59Mother of the CEO?
01:13:01I am.
01:13:02And you, my dear,
01:13:04are fired.
01:13:06What did I do?
01:13:10You are a good person.
01:13:13From now on,
01:13:14this store is yours to run.
01:13:19Are you serious?
01:13:22That's right.
01:13:24Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:27You are professional,
01:13:28responsible,
01:13:29far better
01:13:30than that two-bit manager.
01:13:35You.
01:13:36Out.
01:13:38I'll leave.
01:13:41I'm leaving.
01:13:44I...
01:13:45I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:48No.
01:13:49Don't worry.
01:13:51You're getting a promotion.
01:13:52You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:58First assignment,
01:13:59I want that row
01:14:01and that row
01:14:02and the entire display case.
01:14:06Pack it all up
01:14:07and bring it to my house.
01:14:09Okay.
01:14:10Yeah.
01:14:12Once we're home,
01:14:13I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:14:15I can't wait
01:14:17to finally meet
01:14:18my granddaughter.
01:14:25She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:27Of course,
01:14:28she lives like this.
01:14:29Mrs. Harrison,
01:14:40I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:44Max?
01:14:45Eva.
01:14:47What are you doing here?
01:14:50I, uh...
01:14:50There you are, Eva.
01:14:52Wonderful we can finally
01:14:55meet each other properly.
01:14:57My new daughter-in-law.
01:15:00What are you talking...
01:15:02That means you really are
01:15:05the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:15:08Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:15:10Stop.
01:15:12And you.
01:15:13You lied to me at the store.
01:15:16You were both just testing me?
01:15:18Is this some sick game
01:15:19rich people play?
01:15:20I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:22I thought you might be
01:15:23using my son
01:15:24just after his money.
01:15:25But I was wrong.
01:15:27Eva, please.
01:15:28I don't deserve
01:15:29to be treated like this.
01:15:30Not every working-class girl
01:15:32is after your money.
01:15:34How could you think
01:15:34that of me?
01:15:35It's not like that, dear.
01:15:37Eva, what are you
01:15:38talking about?
01:15:40Mom,
01:15:41what did you do?
01:15:42I was just trying
01:15:43to get the two of you
01:15:44back together.
01:15:45We're not together.
01:15:47And I can't love
01:15:48something that was
01:15:49never real.
01:15:52I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:57What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:58Go after her.
01:16:03Eva.
01:16:04Let me go.
01:16:05I swear,
01:16:05it's not what you think.
01:16:07But we come from
01:16:07two completely different worlds.
01:16:09Stop pretending
01:16:09like you care.
01:16:10I'm not pretending.
01:16:12Okay?
01:16:12I can't fake
01:16:13what we have.
01:16:13And everything
01:16:14I've done for you
01:16:15and Piper,
01:16:16this is real.
01:16:21Touch my wife again
01:16:22and I will snap
01:16:23every finger
01:16:24that you've got.
01:16:26Max, you came.
01:16:27God, you weren't
01:16:28driving me
01:16:28fucking insane.
01:16:31I'll do whatever
01:16:32it takes
01:16:33to be a good husband,
01:16:34a good father.
01:16:36Just say the word.
01:16:36See?
01:16:42Stop fighting.
01:16:45We belong together.
01:16:48You're wrong.
01:16:49Wrong about what?
01:16:51That you care?
01:16:53Or we belong together?
01:16:54Look,
01:16:55I already told you.
01:16:56We're from two
01:16:57completely different worlds.
01:16:58Now,
01:16:59I held up my end
01:16:59of the deal
01:17:00and I met your mother
01:17:01like we discussed.
01:17:03Now,
01:17:03I want a fake divorce
01:17:04from my fake cousin.
01:17:04Eva.
01:17:11Eva!
01:17:14I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:17:16Walking away
01:17:16is the only choice
01:17:17I have.
01:17:24Ow!
01:17:26Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:28Yeah, sweetie,
01:17:29I'm fine.
01:17:31Come here.
01:17:34No, you're not fine.
01:17:40You're sad.
01:17:43I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:47I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:51I want Max to be
01:17:53my real daddy.
01:17:56Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:58I love bug.
01:18:02You're right.
01:18:03What am I doing?
01:18:04Running like a coward?
01:18:07I've always taught you
01:18:08to be brave.
01:18:10Now it's time
01:18:11for Mommy
01:18:11to be brave, too.
01:18:13I believe in you.
01:18:15What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:18:17I know exactly
01:18:18what to say to him.
01:18:22Maximus deserves to know
01:18:24Piper is his daughter.
01:18:26Enough sulking.
01:18:34Go get your wife
01:18:35and my grandbaby back.
01:18:37Don't you think
01:18:38I want to?
01:18:40She doesn't want me.
01:18:42I didn't raise you
01:18:43to give up.
01:18:43Your daughter is still
01:18:44out there.
01:18:45You can't abandon her.
01:18:47Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:48I made a deal
01:18:49with Eva
01:18:50to play my wife.
01:18:51And Piper,
01:18:52she was
01:18:53an added bonus.
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:57I already ran
01:18:58a DNA test.
01:19:01Piper is your daughter.
01:19:03What?
01:19:04See it for yourself.
01:19:09I was right.
01:19:12Seven years ago.
01:19:14New Year's,
01:19:15that woman was evil.
01:19:16Eva!
01:19:27Eva!
01:19:28Hey!
01:19:30Daddy!
01:19:33Daddy!
01:19:34Piper!
01:19:36I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:39You came back.
01:19:48I, uh...
01:19:49Don't forget to
01:19:53re-break, Mommy.
01:19:59I, uh...
01:20:00I was scared.
01:20:03But I don't want
01:20:04to be scared anymore.
01:20:06Because what we have
01:20:07is real
01:20:07and it's worth
01:20:08fighting for.
01:20:10Sweetheart,
01:20:11I have
01:20:11something to tell you.
01:20:14I have something
01:20:14to tell you, too.
01:20:18Piper is your daughter.
01:20:19Piper is your daughter.
01:20:20You knew.
01:20:21My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:23Grandma!
01:20:24Oh!
01:20:27Well, I just found out
01:20:29for sure a few minutes ago,
01:20:30but you've known
01:20:30this whole time?
01:20:31I was scared.
01:20:33Okay, I didn't know
01:20:34if you were gonna
01:20:35take her from me.
01:20:35I didn't know
01:20:36how you were feeling.
01:20:38How could you not
01:20:39know how I felt?
01:20:52I love you, Eva.
01:20:55I love you, too.
01:20:57I promise,
01:20:58for the rest of my life,
01:20:59I'm going to make it
01:21:00up to you.
01:21:02As long as we're together,
01:21:04it doesn't matter
01:21:05where we are.
01:21:16Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:18For real this time?
01:21:20Yeah, yes.
01:21:21Yes, of course,
01:21:22I'll marry you.
01:21:27Yes!
01:21:28Bye.
01:21:36Looks like you're stuck
01:21:37with me the next Christmas
01:21:38and the Christmas
01:21:39after that
01:21:39and forever.
01:21:43I wouldn't have it
01:21:44any other way.
01:21:50Who's that?
01:21:52Eva!
01:21:53Take me back!
01:21:58I'm sorry!
01:21:59I'm sorry!
01:21:59I'm sorry!
01:21:59You're tired!
01:22:03Looks like I have to
01:22:04take out the trash
01:22:05again.
01:22:09No?
01:22:09Not funny?
01:22:10I'm sorry.
01:22:26I'm sorry.
01:22:26I'm sorry!
01:22:27I'm sorry!
01:22:32I'm sorry!
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