- 5 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Make sure you use an alias. We can't have her known to the Harrison Group CEO.
00:03Mommy, why do I have to rant at you? Where's my real one?
00:07Everyone knows Eva had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:11I'll tell you when you're older.
00:12Daddy!
00:12No! Well, I'm sorry. I'm not your dad.
00:17Why does she feel so numb?
00:19Nice, Ellie. We'll get off my back.
00:20You had to help me get my mom on your face, too.
00:24If it isn't a waste manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:27Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:32My fake wife has some fire in her.
00:33No feelings, no complications. That's what we agreed upon.
00:36That woman is manipulating you. She doesn't get to raise my granddaughter.
00:41It's time you actually know the truth.
00:43It's not real. None of it was real.
00:45How could she just walk away?
00:47What if I already found someone special?
00:50You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:57It's time to find the space shuttle for the second time.
01:06This guy passes out.
01:07All right, it's about that time.
01:09So, are you kissing anybody but no?
01:11Yeah, it's him.
01:20Hi!
01:21Just play around.
01:23Six, five, four, three, two, one!
01:28You have a cute scar.
01:53It's just my birthmark.
01:57Can you want me to stop telling you now?
02:01I don't want to stop.
02:02I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:11I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:12I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:14I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:16I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:17I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:18I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:19I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:20I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:21I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:22I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:23I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:24I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:25I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:26I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:27I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:28I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:29I don't want to stop telling you now.
02:30I was so drunk last night.
02:36I can't remember who I was with.
02:41I must return this to her so I can see her again.
02:49Happy New Year.
02:50Sam, it's me.
02:52Hey, find me the girl from last night.
02:54I don't care how.
02:55Just do it.
02:57I will find you.
03:00Maximus, can't you get married already?
03:07Then I'm a wife or at least a girlfriend.
03:10I need grandkids.
03:11I need you...
03:12Message received, Mom.
03:14I need to go now.
03:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
03:25Seven years.
03:26Why can't I ever find you?
03:29Why do you still haunt me?
03:38Still thinking about that girl?
03:40Boss, it's been years.
03:41I'm ready to go to the inspection.
03:47You rest, sir.
03:49At first, we found her big Christmas light.
03:51She's waiting in the coffee shop.
03:52Blonde hair, red top.
03:54And, sir, did you sure you use an alias?
03:57We can't have her know me the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
04:00Good.
04:01Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
04:03I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
04:15Now, Auntie Devin and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
04:20Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
04:22It's just for Christmas.
04:24But, Mommy, why do we have to rant, Daddy?
04:26Where's my rare one?
04:35I'll tell you when you're older.
04:37Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
04:47Daddy!
04:47Oh, what?
04:49Daddy!
04:56Oh, I'm sorry.
04:59I'm not your dad.
05:01No, I know you're my daddy.
05:02Just as handsome as I've had.
05:04Oh.
05:05Mommy, hurry.
05:06Your Christmas husband has arrived.
05:16I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
05:19He's gorgeous.
05:26Why does she feel so familiar?
05:29She's waiting in the coffee shop.
05:31Blonde hair, red top.
05:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
05:35So, you're my new Christmas wife.
05:38See, I knew you had the new daddy behind that.
05:40Hi, my name's Fiber.
05:41What's your name?
05:43Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
05:45Max, Aurelius.
05:47Eva.
05:47I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
05:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
05:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
05:59So, per hour premitch, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
06:05$1,000 an hour?
06:07Well, yeah.
06:08It's $500 a day.
06:10Is that enough?
06:12That's the most that I can pay you.
06:13Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
06:15That's when I agreed with the agency.
06:17That you'll make your thousands over the week.
06:19Look, my requirements are simple.
06:21Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
06:27And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
06:31So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
06:36Fine.
06:37But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
06:40Okay, deal.
06:46Ready to go get married?
07:01Wow.
07:02Do you look nice?
07:04This is my wedding day, after all.
07:06Pictures!
07:10You're so cute.
07:10You're so cute.
07:15Yaga, you're supposed to look like you're in love.
07:18I need some photos of us together, too.
07:46To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
07:51Yeah, of course.
08:02Happy holidays, Mom.
08:04From my family to you.
08:14Bad news, boss.
08:15The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be her fake wife failed last minute.
08:20She failed?
08:21But who is...
08:24Who is she?
08:27Whatever.
08:28It doesn't matter.
08:30I've got what I need.
08:33Sam, don't worry about it.
08:35I already found someone.
08:41Okay, well...
08:42I think it's time for us to go.
08:44Well, Christmas shopping waits for no one.
08:46Christmas shopping?
08:48I should come.
08:50Look, if you want me to be the husband and this faker to your family plan,
08:53I think I should have some say in the gifts.
08:56It will make it more believable.
09:00Fine.
09:01Yeah, fine.
09:02Okay.
09:03You can come.
09:03Let's go.
09:11Which mall are we going to?
09:13Uh, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
09:15Oh, let's go to the bank.
09:16Oh, what the actual fuck?
09:28Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
09:33Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
09:36She does kind of look like him.
09:44So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
09:50Here's from you.
09:50I'm going to love you, Max.
09:55Also, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice.
10:05In front of them.
10:07Okay.
10:08Should we use our tongues or...
10:10No, no, definitely not.
10:12And absolutely no...
10:13Sex?
10:14Yes.
10:15This is strictly business.
10:18Anything physical outside of that is not happening.
10:21What?
10:22Afraid you'll fall for me?
10:25I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
10:31Let's go.
10:38Here.
10:39What are you doing?
10:41I've never let my woman pick up the tab.
10:45Well, I'm not your woman.
10:46And this isn't a real relationship.
10:48And I don't want your money.
10:51Attention, shoppers.
10:52All bakery items are now 50% off.
10:5450% off pies?
10:56Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
10:5812 pumpkin pies.
10:59I hear this right?
10:59They're the best kind.
11:01Hurry up and go.
11:02Go.
11:02What are you sitting here for?
11:05Hello there.
11:06Hi.
11:07You ready?
11:07Yes.
11:07Yeah.
11:08Just these things.
11:08Okay, great.
11:10We have a holiday special today.
11:12Spend 500, get 10% off, and you are just short.
11:1615 bucks if you want to take advantage of the deal.
11:17Oh, great.
11:19Yeah.
11:19What do you have that's just 15 bucks?
11:21Can you get a move on?
11:23I just got here.
11:25Relax.
11:26Yeah.
11:27Yeah.
11:29Here.
11:30This will do the trick.
11:31Okay.
11:34Hurry up and pay.
11:35I will pay.
11:36I will pay when I'm ready.
11:39You can wait your turn.
11:46Damn.
11:46My fake white pass and fire it.
11:48Oh, wait, wait, wait, not the pie's coming.
11:56Yes.
11:57Except for the top.
12:02Hi, guys.
12:05Can I hand you all fake pies?
12:10Of course.
12:12Thank you so much.
12:13Of course.
12:14I hope you like pumpkin.
12:16Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
12:19Just to give it away.
12:22Merry Christmas.
12:23Merry Christmas.
12:24Merry Christmas.
12:24Merry Christmas.
12:28Merry Christmas.
12:29Merry Christmas.
12:29Merry Christmas.
12:30Do you do that often?
12:32As often as I can?
12:37We should go.
12:38We gotta pick up paper.
12:43What's happening?
12:54You done feeling me up?
13:05Shut up.
13:06I'm sorry, I was just in character, wife.
13:09Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
13:16And don't be late.
13:24Harrison Group?
13:30Do you do construction for them or something?
13:33Sort of.
13:34Not that I'm judging, I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
13:41Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
13:44I think that's respectable.
13:46Can we pick another company?
13:48No.
13:49Harrison Group is perfect.
13:51But they'll find it impressive.
13:52My cousin's husband works for them, too.
13:54So, perfect.
13:59Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
14:03Don't worry.
14:04Okay, I clean up nicely.
14:06I wouldn't embarrass you.
14:09Too much.
14:24Let's go, Sam.
14:32It's time to check out the new HQ site.
14:34Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
14:39That's my daughter's.
14:41Daughters.
14:42Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
14:46Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
14:53Oh, I missed you.
14:55Oh, I missed you.
15:09So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
15:14He coming.
15:15Please don't tell me Maximus failed.
15:17Good, good, good.
15:18So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
15:23When's he arriving?
15:24Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
15:29Poor thing.
15:30Not surprising.
15:31I mean, she's 30.
15:33Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
15:36Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
15:42This is exactly why I refused to come home single this Christmas.
15:46Auntie Pamela?
15:47Debbie?
15:48My dating life, quite frankly, is none of you a concern.
15:51We're only worried about you.
15:53All these years without a husband.
15:55Sip it, Pamela.
15:56You know, you've always spoiled her rotten.
16:00And look what happened.
16:02She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
16:05I'm not alone.
16:07Mm-hmm.
16:08And what does this mysterious husband do?
16:13He's a manager.
16:15Manager?
16:16Of what?
16:17Trash.
16:19Probably a cover for criminal activity.
16:24You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
16:26Actually, he's right here.
16:32Oh, wow.
16:35Wow.
16:36He is really good looking.
16:39Oh, must be AI.
16:41Mm-hmm.
16:41Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
16:45That's enough.
16:46She's our daughter and your niece.
16:48Show some respect.
16:50Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
16:56him down?
16:57Well, guess what?
16:58William works for the grand a year.
17:01That's half a million.
17:03Half a million.
17:04Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
17:08And speak of the devil.
17:11Oh, William, you've made it.
17:15Oh, William, you've made it.
17:18Oh, William, you've made it.
17:20There you are.
17:27Oh, look at you now.
17:30Live in the dream.
17:31Oh, just think, Eva.
17:34Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal
17:38waste manager.
17:39So I'm married, huh?
17:41Is it serious?
17:44That's what marriage is.
17:45It's pretty serious.
17:47Wow.
17:48You must have rushed the time to not, huh?
17:51Makes sense, though.
17:52You not being a hot-looking thing anymore.
17:55Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
17:57A bullet dodged, Willie.
18:00Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
18:04That's right.
18:05Just bought this brand-new soup of my Christmas bonus.
18:09Women love a man in red.
18:12Sexy, like Santa Claus.
18:14When I sit on my lap.
18:16Don't touch me.
18:17Oh, so entitled.
18:20Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
18:23And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
18:28I mean, look at the car.
18:30Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
18:33To hear the light, I can give you a piper with all my Harrison Group money.
18:37Get your nobody husband and marry me instead.
18:41I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on first.
18:49My mom would never marry.
18:51She already has that, and he's going to kick your butt.
18:53Is that so?
18:59Well, then, where is he?
19:01Because I don't see him.
19:03Does anyone see him?
19:07Now, he's just like I thought.
19:09Telling lies just like Mommy.
19:12That puts you on the naughty list.
19:15And let me show you what happens.
19:17Not in shape.
19:20Hey, Mom.
19:21Yes, you're okay.
19:24Yes, she is.
19:25Oh, my God.
19:26I'm going to take her in and get her passed up, okay?
19:28Come on, then.
19:29Let's go.
19:31What the hell's the matter with you?
19:33How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
19:38Let me go.
19:39Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
19:44Let me go.
19:45Touch my wife again, and I will snap everything that you've got.
20:03Max, you came.
20:08Oh, I see.
20:11Where's Piper?
20:13William Hitter?
20:15Lumped in the teeter inside.
20:16Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
20:19Well, well, well.
20:21If it isn't a waste marriage I've been hearing so much about.
20:24That's right.
20:25Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
20:30Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
20:33It's an honor to meet you.
20:34I'm Max.
20:35Eva told us all about you.
20:37From New York.
20:38Polite.
20:39Handsome.
20:40Just like she said.
20:42Wow.
20:43He was an AI.
20:45See?
20:46He's real.
20:47And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
20:50You son of a bitch.
20:51You just ruined my suit.
20:53Now, watch the way that you drive that.
20:54That pristine automobile bill.
20:57That car?
20:59Oh, my God.
21:00That's worth more than a house.
21:02That car?
21:03It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
21:08Wait.
21:09Are you?
21:14Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
21:18And that's all he needs to know.
21:20I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
21:22You really are a criminal, aren't you?
21:24You stole it.
21:25That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
21:27Jesus.
21:28How did you get away with it?
21:30That's what I want to know.
21:32Enough, please.
21:35I trust my daughter.
21:37She would never marry a queen.
21:38Max, be honest with me.
21:43Where did that car come from?
21:45Why don't you do one for it?
21:47I'll pay you more money than you'd make it three lifetimes.
21:51Sir, you need a breath in a minute.
21:56Hey, that's it!
21:56I'm calling the cops!
21:57Oh, way ahead of you.
21:59Wait.
22:00What?
22:02Are you feeling noticed, Eva?
22:05Oh, well.
22:06Too late.
22:07I believe you.
22:15But how could Max afford a car like that?
22:19Mr. Smith, don't worry.
22:20It's my car.
22:21Okay?
22:21It's not stolen.
22:23Yeah?
22:24If it's yours, then prove it.
22:26Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
22:29Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
22:30Okay, I'll prove that it's mine.
22:33But then you have to get lost.
22:35And never show your face around my wife or child again.
22:37Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
22:40Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
22:42Loser!
22:43Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
22:48Jesus.
22:49Maybe he is a crime boss.
22:51He's kind of sexy, though.
22:55Here.
22:56Title and proof of ownership.
23:00Sir?
23:07Harrison?
23:09Mr. Harrison?
23:13Mr. Harrison?
23:15Just play along.
23:17Merry Christmas, Willie.
23:19Now get the fuck out of here.
23:20Before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
23:23Yes, sir!
23:24I'm so sorry, sir!
23:26Please, just have my stairs up!
23:28Oh, jeez!
23:30Oh, that William!
23:41What a jerk, huh?
23:43You fooled me!
23:44What can I say?
23:45Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
23:49Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
23:51Oh, come on.
23:51We were just looking out for you.
23:54Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
23:56You know, my youngest son is graduating.
23:58Soon.
23:59Do you think that, uh, you could help him get a foot in the door?
24:03A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
24:08We are family, aren't we?
24:10Family takes care of each other.
24:12If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
24:16Abigail, come on.
24:17Talk to her for us.
24:19Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
24:22Yeah, I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
24:26My daughter is just far too busy for your best life.
24:30Come on, dear son-in-law.
24:32Come on, guys.
24:33Let's go in.
24:33Welcome to the family.
24:38Welcome.
24:39Come on.
24:39This is your fault, Pam.
24:45You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
24:49My fault.
24:50You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, will you?
24:53Hey, how do you have that car?
25:05And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
25:07And how old do you...
25:08I told you.
25:09I work for Harrison Group, remember?
25:11I have a friend in high places.
25:13A friend who just hands you keys to a million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
25:18Yes.
25:19It's the season of giving.
25:20He knows people.
25:21He has connections.
25:23He's a big deal kind of guy.
25:26You're a crime boss, aren't you?
25:27Yeah, you best not forget it.
25:29Capisce?
25:29Oh, my God.
25:30Just don't blow your cover.
25:33Dad!
25:34Mom!
25:35Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
25:38Oh, honey.
25:39We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
25:45I think they get it, huh?
25:49How's Piper?
25:50Oh, she's fine.
25:52Why don't you guys just get sewed in and we will go check on her.
25:55And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the street.
26:00Great.
26:01Hey, see you in a bit.
26:02Charlie?
26:03What are you doing?
26:06Okay.
26:08Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
26:11It was just a hug.
26:16Ugh.
26:18We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
26:20You'll be okay.
26:22It's just one week.
26:23Kill me now.
26:24Well, it would, but I need to get paid.
26:31What are you doing?
26:33It was weird.
26:34They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago then.
26:37I don't know.
26:38Something just spills off.
26:40This is ridiculous.
26:41I mean, what do you want them to do?
26:43Make out prove us to prove it?
26:46Oh, yes.
26:47Mmm.
26:48Later.
26:51Let's go.
26:51Here we go.
26:58Piper is all tucked in, honey.
27:00Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
27:02To the newest member of our family, Max.
27:05Oh.
27:07Welcome.
27:08Cheers.
27:09Thank you, Miss Smith.
27:10Looks great.
27:11Oh, just call me mom, honey.
27:13I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
27:18But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
27:21Ooh.
27:22Oh, no.
27:23Mom's testing him.
27:24She's trying to see if he's legit.
27:26You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
27:33Ow.
27:34Eva, sweetie.
27:36Kicking my foot.
27:36Oh, sorry, mom.
27:39Oh, jeez.
27:40Oh, jeez.
27:41It's okay.
27:42Look, mom, of course he knows it.
27:44I would like to hear Max say it.
27:51Twelve pumpkin pies.
28:00Did I hear this right?
28:01They're the best kind.
28:04Well, of course.
28:05It's pumpkin pie.
28:07See?
28:08Are you happy now?
28:10That's good, but something still falls off.
28:12Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
28:15We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
28:21But our marriage is real.
28:23I guess your mom's just watching to make those real short shows.
28:27Ah, now those are quality.
28:30Okay, well, then answer this.
28:34Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
28:37Eva.
28:40I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
28:43Well, um, it's...
28:45Silly face.
28:46Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
28:49Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
28:51Silly face.
28:54I'm not paying extra for this.
28:56Consider it a Christmas gift.
28:58These are all glazers.
29:00Oh, that's so much.
29:02You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
29:04Well, believe it or not, Ms. Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
29:08And I'm not just talking about William.
29:10I'll drink it.
29:12I'll drink it.
29:13Yeah.
29:14So, come on, guys.
29:15Let's eat.
29:16Come in there.
29:23I love you, too.
29:25I love you, too.
29:26I love you, too.
29:26I love you, too.
29:27I love you, too.
29:27I love you, too.
29:27I love you, too.
29:28I love you, too.
29:28I love you, too.
29:29And this is where y'all will be staying.
29:31I have another room set up for Piper.
29:34Nice and festive for you.
29:36No complications, right?
29:38Sorry, honey.
29:40Mom, you know what?
29:41I should stay with Piper tonight.
29:43Oh, honey.
29:44Really?
29:44What?
29:44Shouldn't sleep apart?
29:45Oh, I just remembered.
29:49The city's turning the water off at 10.
29:51Something about water conservation.
29:53That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
29:5515 minutes?
29:57Honey, it's no big deal.
29:59Just shower together.
30:01Shower together?
30:02Shower together?
30:02Okay, you guys.
30:08Have a good night, okay?
30:13It hurt.
30:14Well, I can't take a shower and be closed on.
30:41Come on, we're wasting time. You have 15 minutes.
30:43Nice try. I am not showering with you.
30:46All right, sleep yourself.
30:47We'll room for being in there.
30:49Not if I meet you there first.
31:07Come on, Max. Get out of the way.
31:11We agree with you physically.
31:13You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
31:15Relax.
31:16I won't touch you.
31:18Unless you say you want me to.
31:22But that'll cost extra.
31:32In your dreams.
31:35Ready to join me.
31:41If you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have your shower while you're left.
31:57You wish.
31:58If you wish.
31:59Why is she getting in?
32:00Ready to go fall for me?
32:02It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
32:05Oh, yeah?
32:06Okay.
32:07Holy shit.
32:08I'm sorry.
32:09This is going to be hard if I thought.
32:10I'll say.
32:11What happened to all that cool guy confidence.
32:12Still think he can resist?
32:13I know.
32:14Baby.
32:15I'm not sure what's going on down down.
32:17Yeah?
32:18I mean.
32:19Yeah.
32:20Oh, yeah.
32:21I'm sorry.
32:22I don't know.
32:23I'm sorry.
32:24What's going on down down down?
32:25I'll say.
32:30What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
32:33Still think he can resist?
32:36Maybe.
32:38I don't want you.
32:44Or maybe we should.
32:50God, he's such a good kisser.
32:53Why does this feel so...
32:55Familiar.
33:01Mom, we're so sexy.
33:11Max, we cannot do this.
33:14What? I didn't mean to cross the...
33:17It's not you, Max. It's us.
33:19It's this. This is all an axe.
33:20Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
33:24You're right.
33:25I'm sorry.
33:27You just need to be sorry.
33:29Just...
33:30That birthmark.
33:43What is that?
33:44It's him. The man from New Year's.
33:48Is he Piper's father?
33:52Why are you acting?
33:55Oh, my God.
33:57Max is Piper's father.
34:00Are you okay?
34:01Yeah.
34:01I just...
34:02I just...
34:03I just got my head in.
34:05I think I just need a few more minutes.
34:07Alone.
34:10Of course.
34:13We have a daughter together.
34:15Oh, my God.
34:17What do I do?
34:17I'm going to sleep on the floor.
34:25You can take the bed.
34:27Thanks.
34:28Are you sure you're okay?
34:34Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
34:37So if there's something you need, I can help.
34:40I want to help.
34:41He's Piper's father.
34:44He has a right to know.
34:46Um, Max, how would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
34:53A child?
34:57No, no, no.
34:58That's impossible.
35:00I'm very careful.
35:03Mostly.
35:05I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
35:08Family, to me, is a big commitment.
35:10And I don't want any loose ends.
35:13You know?
35:14Right.
35:16He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
35:18I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
35:20Why do you ask?
35:23No reason, I'm just curious.
35:25No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
35:29What?
35:31No.
35:32Well, then, can I ask you a question?
35:35Shoot?
35:40Where did you get these?
35:42And how did you know my exact size?
35:45I did not get those.
35:46I don't know where those came from.
35:48Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
35:53I don't know where those come from.
35:55Oh, yeah.
35:55Let me go.
35:55No, I don't know where those come from.
35:57Woo!
35:57No!
35:57No!
35:58No!
35:59No!
35:59No!
35:59No!
35:59No!
36:01No!
36:01No!
36:01No!
36:02No!
36:02No!
36:02No!
36:02No!
36:03No!
36:03No!
36:03No!
36:04No!
36:04No!
36:04No!
36:05No!
36:05No!
36:06Oh, Beniva, the truth is, is that I, go, go, go, go, go, go, just a second, come in, oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in, maybe you could take this one, dad, we're kind of in the middle of something, I can see that, oh, why don't I read it to her, I mean, if you don't, if you don't mind,
36:36what, I have one, you know what, just put a shirt on, I'm gonna go get her, Piper, here comes Grandpa, he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle, but I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
37:01If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
37:08Good night, Piper.
37:13Is her dad still around?
37:15Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you're her dad.
37:19Uh, no.
37:21That man has no idea what the treasure he's missing out on.
37:26Do you really think so?
37:31From the bottom of my heart.
37:33Maybe I should tell him.
37:35He deserves to know.
37:43Max.
37:47You're Piper's father.
37:48I'll tell you about the times, right?
37:57where's piper she must have snuck off while we were asleep
38:27god he's such a good kisser
38:43just gonna kiss him right
38:53good morning you two love bugs how was your stay at chateau smith good morning miss smith it was
39:19great wonderful well it's about to get even better
39:23oh no what is that sardines and saltines it's a smith family classic it was my grand-grande's
39:32favorite during wartime don't be shy go ahead and grab a handful max you don't have to no no
39:39it's okay it's a smith family staple
39:43good
39:47well you two better get dressed you got to go see him or you're dead
40:01could i um could have some water please so that means there's no escaping aunt miranda and her
40:18brood this year what's the deal with them every year aunt miranda police piper and i
40:23says piper's a fatherless brat and i'm
40:26hey don't worry i'll protect you and piper
40:31better have sam on standby tonight just in case
40:36well looks like it's time to get dressed up
40:40wait that earring that earring you like it i was so bummed when i lost the matching one years ago
40:59did you was it seven years ago i don't really remember the details but luckily i was able to find a new parent
41:07right it's just a common earring anyone can have it maybe i'm reading too much into it
41:14she can't be the woman from seven years ago
41:16so ava and piper still aren't here but derrick said that ava got married
41:25what kind of man could she possibly landed an aging single mom slim pickings
41:33i heard he's in waste management that explains it she's probably too embarrassed to show up
41:40oh please maranda ava is your niece
41:43oh come on grandpa everyone knows eva had a kid with a random one night stand
41:49her track record speaks for itself
41:51exactly not like my sierra married to a legal advisor for harrison group
41:56oh
41:59they're here
42:00merry christmas everybody
42:02merry christmas everybody
42:08merry christmas
42:09you must be grandpa
42:12hey hold on i am
42:13i'm eva's husband
42:15i'm max
42:16pleasure to meet you
42:17welcome
42:17you're eva's husband
42:18but you're gorgeous
42:22but i see i miss you
42:25look at you two
42:27you look like you just stepped out of a movie
42:29merry christmas grandpa
42:30this is from max and i
42:33oh my goodness
42:34thank you for that
42:35let me grab that for you daddy
42:38oops
42:39oh my bad
42:40oh
42:41a homemade gift
42:43how thrifty
42:44not all gifts are about the price tag
42:47mommy's right
42:48you mean i'll have
42:49you little
42:51you will not lay a hand on my daughter
42:55or you will lose yours
42:56oh
42:57i think you broke my wrist
43:00look what you just did to my mother
43:02my husband is harrison group's top legal advisor
43:05he could ruin your life
43:07what are you
43:18are you okay
43:19i'm fine
43:20i'm just wet
43:21it's okay
43:22it's okay
43:23what are you
43:26don't you dare disrespect my husband
43:31did you just slap me
43:32next time it'll be a closed fist
43:34you're a fucking psycho
43:36you know what sierra
43:37i can take your little insults
43:38but leave my family out of this
43:40her family
43:43she means me
43:45you okay honey
43:51do i look okay to you
43:52dumbass
43:53do something
43:54you don't know who you're messing with
43:56i've got the full wing of the harrison group behind me
43:59oh wow
44:00i'm sure the ceo would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people
44:05like you'd have any idea how a ceo thinks
44:08let's call him
44:09i'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side
44:12please
44:13who do you think you are
44:14enough
44:16there will be no arguing during christmas
44:20fine dad
44:22let it go nathan
44:24they're just jealous
44:26for grandpa's sake
44:28i'll let you off easy
44:29i think you
44:31oh nathan
44:32a thank you
44:33i think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you
44:37do you want me to get the other cheek
44:38all right that's enough
44:39everyone come inside
44:41and sit down
44:43is this a joke
45:04can you please pass me some food
45:07hold it
45:07who said you could eat anything else
45:09my husband and i paid for this feast
45:12paid for this feast
45:17king crab
45:19fresh from alaska
45:20and grass-fed wagyu
45:22three times the price
45:24fifty times the flavor
45:26and you don't get a single bite
45:28it's just petty
45:30maybe so
45:31but gourmet food isn't meant for father
45:34but it's just petty
45:36it's just easy
45:38for the purpose
45:39to bring you to the next feast
45:39i'm going to take a look
45:41at that feast
45:42that's about how you can take a look
45:44at the feast
45:46and you keep being prepared
45:47and stuff
45:48and you can take a look
45:48as you say
45:50and you can't take a look
45:51so
45:52that's about to rip
45:53which is how you can take a look
45:54to eat
45:55and you can take
45:56and take a look
45:57and I'll say
45:59yeah
45:59well
46:00that's about to begin
46:01your turn
46:02i have a look