- 4 weeks ago
James May's Shed Load of Ideas - Season 1 Episode 6 -
Noisy Neighbours
Noisy Neighbours
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FunTranscript
00:00Hello.
00:02These days I spend more and more time in my Wiltshire home.
00:06And the pub I own.
00:08Thinking about all the big problems in the world.
00:12And some smaller ones that annoy me.
00:16Luckily there's a place I can go to solve them all.
00:20Or at least try.
00:22My shed.
00:24Right.
00:26It's here that I have the tools.
00:28Let's just saw some wood up.
00:30The tea.
00:32And a couple of other highly competent blokes.
00:36Very good. Brace yourself.
00:38Who've agreed to help me rid the world of problems.
00:40Is she getting the ticket out?
00:42Great.
00:44And small.
00:46The cereal has gone soggy.
00:48I'll also have to take on other people's problems.
00:50What is wrong with Peter?
00:52He used to make a sound.
00:54And now he doesn't.
00:56The locals at my pub.
00:58Who are always bringing me stuff to mend.
01:00Is it a train set?
01:02So join us.
01:04And our excitable crew.
01:06Who will capture our endeavours.
01:10That was epic.
01:12As we create.
01:14Make.
01:16That feels like a terrible thing we've just done.
01:18Repair. So it's never worked.
01:20And repurpose.
01:22In my shed load of ideas.
01:24What do you think?
01:26This is just brilliant.
01:28The Wiltshire countryside can be wonderfully peaceful.
01:30But like the rest of the UK, it can also sometimes be very noisy.
01:34A noise complaint is made every 70 seconds in the UK.
01:38And even here we're not immune to annoying noises from our neighbours.
01:42You know, it sounds like a right barney.
01:44Tim, let's go somewhere else.
01:46It's a domestic.
01:48Oh, God, so it's drilling.
01:50Nobody ever says, why don't we do it?
01:52Why don't we do it?
01:54It's a domestic.
01:56Nobody ever says, why don't we soundproof Britain?
01:58In fact, you don't even need to soundproof the whole house, do you?
02:00You just need a, just like a small room.
02:02If you want to.
02:03But you're not immune to annoying noises from our neighbours.
02:05You know, it sounds like a right barney.
02:07Tim, let's go somewhere else.
02:09It's a domestic.
02:11Oh, God, so it's drilling.
02:13Nobody ever says, why don't we soundproof Britain?
02:16In fact, you don't even need to soundproof the whole house, do you?
02:21You just need a, just like a small room.
02:25If you want to play the trumpet or have an argument, you go into the room that's soundproof,
02:30and then it doesn't bother your neighbours.
02:33Actually, that's not a bad idea, is it?
02:36Could we make a soundproof box?
02:41The World Health Organization says noise pollution is a major concern,
02:46so this is a serious problem.
02:48Let's see if we can help neighbourly relations everywhere
02:51by making a soundproof box or room that will keep annoying noises contained within it.
02:58First things first, Tony the tool is going to help me investigate the best sound-absorbing materials.
03:04OK, is everyone happy? Action!
03:07Right, Tony has made a very simple rig in order to test the sound-absorbing qualities of various items that you would find around a typical household.
03:16This is a box. In the top of the box goes the decibel-o-meter through that convenient little hole.
03:23In the middle is a shelf on which we put our materials, and in the bottom there is a Bluetooth speaker,
03:30which will play a sound from this phone.
03:33And we're not, obviously some sound will be transmitted through the box, we realise that,
03:37but what we're looking for is the difference between these materials.
03:41This will give us some idea of how we can make our soundproof box.
03:45There's a door, and it is sealed with a clamp.
03:50All we need now is a suitable sound.
03:53So I thought if you could give a blood-curdling murderous scream, Tony, we could use that.
03:58Are you ready?
03:59Yep.
04:04That was excellent.
04:07Right, so to begin with, so if we turn on the decibel-o-meter and put his little Sly and the Family Stone head on...
04:17Right, that's holding max, so the maximum reading will remain frozen on the screen.
04:23So let's try it first with nothing.
04:28So you shut Tony's carefully engineered box with this beautiful piano hinge that you see typically on Chippendale furniture.
04:37There is the door shut.
04:39OK, so this is controlled.
04:40Quiet, please.
04:48107.7 is the reading on the decibel-o-meter with nothing in the box.
04:54Now, remember that decibels are a logarithmic scale, which means an increase of three is double the noise as far as your ear is concerned.
05:03Let's begin with...
05:05Well, let's go through what we've got.
05:06We have a typical pillow, some furniture-moving blankets, some egg boxes, a breakfast cereal, we're not allowed to say which one it is.
05:15It's very popular.
05:16It's also very snappular and crackular.
05:18And builder's sand.
05:22Which would you like to go with first?
05:24Should we go with...
05:25Let's go with egg boxes.
05:26Well, normally they're half of them, don't they, and have that bit sticking out.
05:29Do they?
05:30I think, yeah.
05:31Well, let's do that.
05:32People do stick egg boxes up in things like their home recording studios and home cinemas, don't they?
05:38Quiet, everybody, please.
05:47101.5.
05:48Interesting.
05:49Next, we try a pillow.
06:02102 dead.
06:04Then, a furniture blanket.
06:0788.2.
06:08Excellent performance from the blanket.
06:13The popular breakfast cereal which we happen to have in the kitchen was my idea because, I don't know, I feel they will move about and absorb sound.
06:23They will also deform very slightly and they are full of air.
06:28It's not particularly tremendous reasoning but, mate, this is an experiment to remember.
06:41Very disappointing from the breakfast cereal.
06:44Hang on, that's higher than the control.
06:46That doesn't make sense, does it?
06:47No.
06:49It is noisy cereal though.
06:50It is.
06:51It's amplified the noise.
06:53It's 108.6.
06:58And, finally, we try builder's sand.
07:05Oh, no.
07:06That is disappointing.
07:08101.2.
07:10It's better than the egg boxes though.
07:12Very slightly better than the egg box.
07:15So, the conclusion is that our sand proof room within a room should be insulated with...
07:25Blankets.
07:26Blankets.
07:2788.2.
07:28Right.
07:29Onwards.
07:33So, after buying a shed load of blankets and picking up Simi, we three return to the workshop to begin making our soundproof room in a room, which will be a supersized version of Tony's soundproof box.
07:47Say when.
07:48First, we demonstrate the result of our noise research.
07:53Here's one more.
07:54Brace yourself.
07:55Which looks like workplace bullying.
07:57To keep you back to Henry King with two little bits of string.
07:58Well, it's definitely getting quieter.
07:59Maybe a little screen?
08:00Right, okay.
08:01What we decided, viewers, was that the best sound deadening material of those things that you might have around the house is the removal blanket.
08:18Now, here we have a pile of 150 of them, but it's going to be a frame.
08:24Yeah.
08:25And then we're going to make blanket walls.
08:26Yep.
08:27And the blanket walls will also be filled with blankets.
08:31Right.
08:32Let's just saw some wood up.
08:34Yes, let's do that.
08:42If this works, people could take our prototype concept.
08:46What you're seeing here, viewers, is the basic element of mass production.
08:51And turn a room in their own house into a soundproof room.
08:58Nicely done.
09:02We're constructing a very simple wooden cube.
09:05But crucially, we're leaving a small cavity between the inside and outside walls.
09:12There can't be any physical connection, or as little as possible, between the inner wall and the outer wall,
09:16because the dense wood would transfer the sound.
09:19So you've got to avoid that.
09:20You've got to keep the gap all the way around.
09:24And then we can fill it up with the sound deadening material, which in this case is blankets.
09:32If you hadn't worked it out already, viewers, you can probably now see what this is going to look like.
09:46There it is.
09:47OK, so now we're going to curtain the inside.
09:52Hold it there, James.
09:53I'm holding it.
09:54Hold it there.
10:01There are people in the world who like to claim that men can't wrap things up, and we're proving them wrong.
10:06Look at this.
10:07Do we want the door towards one side or in the middle?
10:10Like, why do we need the door?
10:12Otherwise you can't get in.
10:16Ah, ****.
10:18I'm going from the top.
10:19Why don't we stand on a stepladder and put a screw in from the top?
10:22Yeah.
10:24Good idea.
10:32Rather than cutting these, because they're a bit of a pain, there might be a way of folding them into each other, so...
10:39Yes.
10:40Or is it a bit like folding a piece of paper seven times?
10:42It might well be.
10:44Shall we try a sausage?
10:45Shall I try a sausage?
10:46Try a sausage, just in case.
10:49It's like that thing, isn't it?
10:50You can only fold a piece of paper so many times before it becomes impossible to fold.
10:55Did you just say that?
10:56I did.
10:57Yeah.
10:58Seven times, I think.
10:59Well, I said it before, but I was in there.
11:00I couldn't hear you.
11:01Yeah.
11:02Ah.
11:03Honest!
11:08Tony, just put your head behind there and say something.
11:10Ah!
11:11I'd say that's working a bit.
11:14I didn't hear a thing.
11:15Is there a case for simply making a load of curtains?
11:20And just hanging them?
11:21Yeah.
11:22That would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?
11:23We had seven blankets over your head earlier and we could still hear you, even though it's
11:35muffled, so we need at least seven layers.
11:37So we're halfway there with one blanket?
11:38Yeah.
11:39Okay, so that's not as drastic.
11:42I'm all for, you know, speeding things up.
11:46I think we should do a big wall.
11:48Yeah, I think you're right.
11:49So these are whole blankets now.
11:53I think we should fold it and put it in these widths along the wall.
12:00Oh, like that?
12:01Yeah.
12:04Oh, that's quite nice.
12:05It is quite nice.
12:06Why are you always surprised?
12:08You know why, Tony.
12:13We'll leave Tony to finish his brilliant blanket layering solution and who knows?
12:18Perhaps we'll never hear from him again.
12:30Back in Wiltshire, you join Simi and me enjoying a little time out in my pub.
12:35But we're not totally off duty.
12:39The locals know I can easily be persuaded to open up my toolbox and take a look at their broken stuff.
12:45Today, pub regular Piers has something he'd like us to try to repair.
12:50Hi, nice to meet you.
12:51This is Simi.
12:52Hi, nice to meet you.
12:53This is Simi.
12:54Hi, nice to meet you.
12:55It's a toaster.
12:56It is.
12:57I was told that this was something of great sentimental value.
13:00Well, it gets used every day, but it doesn't function properly.
13:04So the timer, which is about there, jams occasionally.
13:08I have virtually the same toaster as it happens.
13:11It burns toast.
13:12And then I get a telling off from my wife.
13:15Does your wife currently hate you because of the toaster?
13:18Not every day.
13:19Right.
13:20Shall we plug it in and have a look at, I think there's a socket down there.
13:24I've got some bread in my toolbox.
13:27Look at that.
13:32And I would give that sort of two and a half minutes.
13:35Light is on.
13:36Heat is rising off the toaster into my face.
13:39And it smells of bread.
13:43I think it works fine, Piers.
13:45And you've wasted our time.
13:47If only that were true.
13:51It's sticking.
13:52Oh, it is, yes.
13:56Have you ever taken it apart?
13:57I think it's had some WD-40 in the past.
14:00Oh!
14:01On your toaster!
14:02I'm not a technical person and we've managed.
14:05Life is a compromise.
14:07Toast is the stuff of life, so it's quite important.
14:10Absolutely.
14:11See, we've still got another 30 seconds to go.
14:13That's going to be burnt.
14:14Yeah, but the point is you can then turn the elements off
14:17and remove your toast when you need it.
14:19But that requires you being present the entire time.
14:22If you just walk away from it and say it's going to stop in two minutes.
14:26Ah, because the timer sticks.
14:28Because the timer sticks, you end up with white smoke.
14:31The toaster, as a toaster, works perfectly.
14:34The problem is with the timer.
14:36And this is what is destroying domestic bliss for you.
14:39So we will take the toaster away.
14:41We won't touch any of that because it's fine.
14:43We will extract the clockwork timer, check it for wear,
14:47burrs in the escapement, that sort of thing.
14:49Give it a good clean, reassemble it.
14:51And can I commend you for bringing it in
14:53and not simply throwing it away and buying another toaster?
14:56Absolutely.
14:57It means that my wife isn't going to give me grief about half-burned toast.
15:01It will be fantastic. Thank you.
15:04The world thanks you.
15:06Your wife, however, hates you.
15:09Now I've promised to fix Piers' toaster and with it his marriage too,
15:13I'd better get on with it.
15:14Yeah.
15:15So Simi and I head straight for the workshop.
15:19And at the time it takes to make a piece of toast, we're there.
15:26Ooh, look.
15:27I have a toaster very similar to this
15:29and I seem to remember that you go in through the bottom.
15:40Then behind there, there is the timer mechanism.
15:46That's very intricate, isn't it?
15:48It is.
15:49There's a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of cack
15:52and that's just enough to make the teeth stick.
15:55If we could make something that acts on the end of that spindle,
16:01it will push it ever so gently in the direction
16:03of the less worn part of the escapement.
16:08That something is going to be a tiny strip of phosphor bronze
16:12that we'll attach with a teeny, tiny screw.
16:18Some people enjoy high-octane action movies
16:20with car chases, fist fights and guns.
16:23Bad news, if that's you,
16:25because the next bit involves two blokes
16:27trying to solve a problem on an almost microscopic scale.
16:31We're talking about maybe, you know, less than a hundredth of a millimetre.
16:41But there will be tension.
16:42Is that actually cutting?
16:44No, it wasn't.
16:45Fascinating observations.
16:48What is going?
16:49Highs.
16:50Oh, look at that.
16:51It's gone in.
16:52And the odd low.
16:54It stopped.
16:56B****.
16:58But after several nail-biting hours...
17:02Oh, we are so good.
17:04Right.
17:05We are so good.
17:06To the relief of the crew, we're ready to try our ingenious solution.
17:12So what we have done is we have successfully opened up
17:15and then tapped that tiny little hole there,
17:19and now we have drilled a clearance hole
17:22in the end of this strip of phosphor bronze
17:24that the screw will just pass through cleanly
17:27and now I'm going to hold that without losing it.
17:29This is turning me into a nervous wreck.
17:32Snip that off, tidy up the end
17:36and then screw it into position and it will do its job.
17:39If the tense music hasn't already started,
17:42now might be a good time.
17:46Oh, my God, it's so small.
17:50Is it going in?
17:54Yeah?
17:55Yeah, it's like it.
17:59Let me just check that. Is it actually acting on it?
18:04That's what we've achieved.
18:05It doesn't look like much, but it's destroyed us.
18:08Well, let's test it.
18:11I almost don't want to now.
18:14If for whatever reason it doesn't do a full thing,
18:18I will cry.
18:19I'm going to wind it all the way.
18:20Here we go, everybody.
18:24Very well done, toast.
18:35We have achieved!
18:36We've achieved greatness!
18:40We've actually done it.
18:42And we can't even see it!
18:45It works.
18:46It does work.
18:52That's one of the greatest triumphs of my life.
18:54And we've been at it for four hours.
18:57But it was worth it.
18:58What else would we have done with those four hours?
19:01Right, we're going to now reassemble all this.
19:03You don't particularly need to see that.
19:04Next time you see this toaster, it will be in the pub,
19:08with Piers, and he will be astonished.
19:11It's stopped.
19:13It's got to the end.
19:14It went all the way to the end.
19:16Now Piers' toaster is no longer toast, it's time for me to head back to the pub,
19:29where once again I'm thinking of ways to help pubs all over the UK get more punters in.
19:34And I've identified a potential twist on a well-known game that involves combining two of my favourite things.
19:43Hello, you join me, apparently about to tuck into a delicious cheese board.
19:49But actually, no.
19:50I'm here to address an age-old problem,
19:53one that has blighted society for many generations, namely cheese and biscuits.
19:58The usual problem, the cheese runs out, the biscuits haven't.
20:01You have some more cheese, then the biscuits run out,
20:03and then the cheese hasn't run out, so you have some more biscuits and so on, and it never ends.
20:07We wondered if one way round this problem was to gamify cheese and biscuits.
20:11I wondered if we could have a game of cheese, chess.
20:18Because, let's face it, both come on a board.
20:23The word chess is very similar to the word cheese.
20:26If you take the first S of chess and turn it into an E and add another E on the end,
20:32you have the same word.
20:34And that can't be a coincidence, can it?
20:36I thought, using this convenient rubber mould, we could use some of these cheeses to make chess pieces,
20:44mount them on coloured crackers.
20:46We have black ones and white ones.
20:49They're actually grey and beige, but, I mean, the difference is apparent.
20:52And then you play chess, four pieces of cheese.
20:56And we've selected the cheeses very carefully.
20:59We have, for example, king of the castle.
21:02So that can be the king.
21:04Stinking bishop, I guess that's going to be the bishop.
21:07This cheese is an Italian one called caccio cavallo.
21:12So that cavallo means horse.
21:14So that can be the knight.
21:16Castle blue, that can be the rook.
21:19This cheese is actually Norwegian, and it is often marketed under the name ski queen.
21:25And this is good old-fashioned mouse-trap cheddar, which can be our prawns,
21:30in case anybody thinks that we're getting a bit pretentious with the cheeses.
21:34Now, these moulds, I believe, will allow me to fashion cheese into chess pieces.
21:39I'm then going to invite Tony and Sim to have a match.
21:44And the winner, I mean, you eat a piece if you take it,
21:47but the winner at the end eats all the remaining cheese.
21:51Now, we just need to mould our cheese into chess.
21:56I think I might hand this job over to a researcher on minimum wage.
22:00Ethan?
22:02Hello.
22:03How do you fancy making some chess pieces out of cheese?
22:07I would love to.
22:08It's a great chat-up line, after all.
22:10Of course, if this should ever catch on, the staff would be quite annoyed,
22:23because it's quite a laborious process.
22:25But maybe it will be a special, you know, cheese chess.
22:29Cheese chess board will have to cost something like £250.
22:32Oh, eating cheese.
22:34Yeah.
22:35Oh.
22:36Please nobody tell, Ethan, but just now, when I was just picking at the cheese,
22:40I accidentally ate a bishop.
22:43I don't think he noticed.
22:48Oh, ****, I said that.
22:51Why did I... Why was I so cocky about that?
22:55Oh, I'll start again.
22:57Oh, that's very runny.
22:59And sticky.
23:02That's not going to work.
23:05Look at that.
23:06This is absolute rubbish.
23:10Yes!
23:12That is the beginnings of a cheese chess set.
23:17It's pretty good, isn't it?
23:19You saw it here first.
23:21And once we've filled the other moulds and left them to set,
23:24we may actually be able to have a game,
23:27if I haven't eaten it.
23:35You join us back in Wiltshire,
23:37where I am solving problems big and small,
23:40as well as thinking of ways to help Britain's wonderful but dwindling pubs,
23:44not mine, by the way,
23:45bring in more customers.
23:47And I've invited Tony and Simi over to showcase my latest idea.
23:51Action.
23:53Several hours have now passed,
23:54and Ethan and I, by which I mean Ethan,
23:57has produced what we believe is the world's first cheese chess set.
24:03And here it is.
24:06Very good.
24:07Can you recognise all the pieces?
24:08Except, I know, you're going to say it's Bishop.
24:11Yes.
24:12The Bishop is made out of stinking Bishop,
24:13which cannot be moulded into the shape of a Bishop.
24:15So it appears in this version of chess as a blob.
24:19That's fine.
24:20But as long as you remember, blob, bishop.
24:23Buh, blob, buh, bishop.
24:26Tasty.
24:28The rules of the game are the same as the rules of chess.
24:32The difference is that if you take a piece, you can eat it.
24:36This is ultimately a cheese board disguised as a game of chess.
24:41So, without further ado, let the tournament begin.
24:45Go!
24:49What's he done there?
24:50I've just realised a flaw in this segment.
24:52Surely there's no flaw.
24:54Cheese or not, we're now watching a game of chess.
25:00I don't want you to move it.
25:01No, if I touched it, I'll move it.
25:02That's the rules.
25:04The bishops are out.
25:05I'm starving.
25:06I want to eat it.
25:07Yay!
25:08I don't care.
25:12I really wanted to try a bit of Bichard.
25:15Mmm!
25:17Well, we got to eating quite quick.
25:19Okay, so you've both eaten a bishop.
25:21Nice.
25:22How did the bishop taste?
25:23Lush.
25:24Your go, Tony.
25:26You've got to keep the speed up according to the producers
25:28because apparently this is quite dull.
25:30Okay.
25:32I think I'll take it.
25:33Oh, how are we?
25:34I think I'll take this piece here.
25:36James, you may as well try that piece.
25:39It's a delicious piece of cheese.
25:41This is the Italian Cavallo cheese.
25:43I didn't try this during the manufacture of the pieces, actually.
25:52Mmm!
25:53Yum!
25:54That's pretty good, huh?
25:56I've spotted another flaw in the game of cheese chess.
26:00Before long, eating cheese takes over.
26:04Do we like cheese chess?
26:05Love cheese chess.
26:06Love cheese chess.
26:07It stops chess being boring because you become obsessed with the cheese rather than chess.
26:10Cheese is the best bit.
26:12You have to get better at chess if you want the cheese.
26:14Exactly.
26:15This makes you earn your cheese.
26:18Earn your cheese.
26:19That's fine.
26:22No, I'm afraid.
26:24That, sir, is an illegal move and you have eaten a piece of cheese incorrectly.
26:29You've played your king into check and eaten the piece that you've erroneously took.
26:33Hang on.
26:34I call that decoration.
26:35Oh!
26:36Yes, there you go.
26:37I didn't realise I was just going for the cheese.
26:39Simeon Oakley, the field of cheese is yours.
26:43Fantastic.
26:45James, would you like to share some cheese?
26:47I would love a piece of cheese.
26:48What would you like?
26:49I'd like a king.
26:50You would like a king?
26:51I'd like a vanquished king.
26:52Would you like Tony's king?
26:53I'd love Tony's king.
26:54I would like my king.
26:55Because I'd quite like the, er, cheers.
26:56What about me?
26:57Well, you've lost.
26:58What about gentlemanly conduct?
27:00No.
27:02I gave it all.
27:08That's not a gentleman's game.
27:10That's poor porn.
27:13Tony.
27:15The lust for cheese overcame any thought of strategy or tactics or even cunning.
27:21All the things that you associate with a really intellectual game like chess.
27:26It's just cheese, cheese, give me some cheese.
27:29And it's great, isn't it?
27:30What do you think?
27:31It's really cheese.
27:32Fantastic.
27:33Cheese chess.
27:35And before we crack open another packet of stinking bishop and lose all sense of reason to cheese,
27:45we should get back to our soundproof room.
27:49Now fully smothered in blankets and ready to silence those noisy neighbours.
27:54Let's see if it's as good as it sounds.
27:57Hello.
27:58I'm James May from Bad Jacket and Volvo Estate Agents.
28:01And I'm here to show you around this character property that has become available in the southwest of England.
28:07It is, as you can see, clad in furniture blankets.
28:10It's also insulated with furniture blankets and it's lined with furniture blankets.
28:15The roof is made of furniture blankets and the floor inside is beautifully finished in furniture blankets.
28:21Not this floor, the floor inside there, you fool.
28:23We're going to test it with some well-known noises outside and inside to see if it makes any difference.
28:30The noises are an argument between Tony and Simi about whether or not Simi qualifies as a builder
28:37because he built an extension on his house himself.
28:39Trumpet practice and a noisy power tool.
28:49On the stick, right there, is the decibel meter.
28:53So here we go.
28:55We're going to have half a minute of arguing in three, two, one.
29:02I don't think it was an argument.
29:04It was more of a discussion.
29:05Yeah.
29:06You said I didn't build a house when I did build a house.
29:08You didn't build a house.
29:09You built an extension on a house.
29:11No.
29:12You didn't build a house.
29:13You didn't build a house.
29:14I built a house.
29:15You added it onto the house.
29:16I built a house.
29:17Half a house.
29:18It's not a house.
29:19It's not a house.
29:20I win.
29:21It's almost, almost a whole house.
29:23So you're almost a whole house.
29:24And time.
29:25Thank you very much.
29:26So, Lucy, argument outside is 87.6.
29:32Now, if you wouldn't mind going inside the sweaty, fetid tent of...
29:35After you.
29:37And I will close the door.
29:39Ah!
29:40You went through the wrong way then, Simi.
29:42Here is the multi-layered curtain door.
29:46Can you hear me?
29:48Sorry?
29:49What?
29:50Go.
29:52Okay, so, alright, I kind of get what you're saying, but...
29:55Ah!
29:56There you go.
29:57But I did build quite a lot of a house.
30:00Okay.
30:01We're getting to where now?
30:07To almost a house.
30:09To half a house and half a roof.
30:11It's not an extension.
30:12It's not.
30:13No.
30:14It's what I did.
30:15We didn't build a house.
30:16And now it's just going to get chocked by...
30:17Enough.
30:18Enough.
30:19You can come out.
30:21Lucy, the volume outside of the rail room was...
30:2687.6.
30:27And inside the rail room, gentlemen, you peaked at 36.
30:3136!
30:32That's quite a difference.
30:34That's massive.
30:35Let's try trumpet practice.
30:38And I've just remembered something.
30:40Yes.
30:41It is crucial to all of this.
30:42Okay.
30:43Is that I can't play the trumpet.
30:44Oh, brilliant.
30:45And in fact, I've never tried.
30:46It's all about embouchure, isn't it?
30:48The trumpet.
30:49The trumpet.
31:08It's plenty difficult playing the trumpet.
31:11What was the reading?
31:1290.3.
31:13Oh, that's quite loud.
31:14It's quite loud.
31:15It's quite loud.
31:16I'm going in.
31:34I'm sorry.
31:35I've lost my strength.
31:3672.2.
31:38Oh, what was it before?
31:39I think it was 96.
31:4193.
31:42And now it's 72.2.
31:45That's not a bad result, is it?
31:47That's...
31:48That's all right.
31:49That's only about a quarter of the noise that it was.
31:51But let's see what happens with the power tool.
31:53The most annoying power tool.
31:54The most annoying power tool we have is the saw.
31:56Are we ready?
32:0584.8 for power tool external.
32:11Okay, Tony, into the medieval tent of heat and horrors.
32:23Finger off trigger.
32:24You can come out now.
32:26I was worried you were going to put your hand through and do that and then come out with no fun.
32:31So, um...
32:3255.8.
32:3455.8 plays against...
32:3884.8.
32:40That was noticeably quieter.
32:42It was noticeably quieter.
32:44I think this is quite remarkable because the greatest effect was in fact on your row.
32:50That was the biggest difference in volume between outside and inside and that's primarily what it's for.
32:56More people have arguments than are learning to play the trumpet.
32:59But similarly, if you have one of these in your house and somebody starts playing the trumpet or having a row,
33:04you can go in there and be at peace.
33:07Insulation works in both directions.
33:09When I go in here, I can't hear what you lot are talking about.
33:13You insult me and I won't be able to hear it.
33:18Oh, thank God he's gone.
33:20God, he's just rubbish.
33:21Awful.
33:23Overrated has been.
33:30That's weird, I could hear all of that.
33:32Just quiet.
33:35That's fantastic.
33:36It is good.
33:37Isn't it? It's really good.
33:38You can make this at home easily.
33:39You just need some wood, two mates, some power tools, a big open space, lots and lots of screws, a staple gun,
33:46150 blankets, some fairy lights, a lamp and a film crew.
33:51And you could do all this as well.
33:53And it works.
33:55We've done something that works.
33:58That's well done with us.
34:00Well done.
34:02For once, I'm happy to blow my own trumpet.
34:11Back in Wiltshire, we're in the workshop, where we spend our days coming up with incredible inventions to solve life's annoying problems.
34:19But sometimes, just sometimes, we like to kick back and relax.
34:25Do you reckon if you were in the dark or blindfolded, and I handed you a selection of tools, but you could only touch the handle?
34:33OK.
34:34And see if you could guess what it is.
34:35We could call it...
34:38Can you handle the truth about tools?
34:42Fair enough.
34:43Do you want to play Can you handle the truth, Simi?
34:45Yeah, go on then.
34:46OK.
34:47Blindfold on.
34:48Mm-hmm.
34:49It's a, erm, marking gauge.
34:52A bit more specific, please.
34:54A bit more specific?
34:55Yeah.
34:56An adjustable marking gauge?
34:57You're a woodworker.
34:59I use power tools most of the time in a CNC machine.
35:04A double adjustable marking gauge.
35:08It's a mortise gauge.
35:09It's right, it's no points to Tony.
35:10It's half a point.
35:12It's half a point for getting...
35:13That's a mortise gauge, because you set the distance from the edge of the wood, and then you set the size of your mortise.
35:19And that, there.
35:20But he's got a blindfold on, isn't he?
35:23Oh, very good.
35:30And that's the handle?
35:31Yeah.
35:32It's not pliers, is it?
35:33It's one of them things you punch holes in leather with.
35:35Oh!
35:37That's pretty good.
35:38Yeah.
35:41Hey, can I keep it if I've guessed it right?
35:43No.
35:44That's a rubbish game, this.
35:46There's no prize.
35:47Okay.
35:48Come on.
35:49You ready?
35:53It's very light.
35:56No idea.
35:57What? What is it?
35:58Well, you can take the blindfold off now, because you've got nil point.
36:02Okay, so...
36:03Right, so you got one and a half out of three.
36:05That's 50%.
36:08That's a C.
36:11Now it's Simi's turn to don the tea towel.
36:18What is it like in a million years?
36:21It's the tappet adjusting tool for a Honda CB750.
36:26That's a bit difficult, James.
36:28Yes, it is.
36:29But he's going to do that to me, I know.
36:32Handle only.
36:34Whoa!
36:35I'm going to say that's plastic, and it's for doing something up, but I don't know what it is, and I don't know what it's called.
36:45That's a zero, then.
36:46Yeah.
36:47In my box.
36:48It's the tappet adjusting tool for a Honda CB750.
36:49Of course it is.
36:50And it was for adjusting something.
36:51Well, actually, yeah, you can have half a point for that, I think.
36:52I know.
36:53Come on, that was...
36:54Yeah, you can have half a point.
36:55Ooh.
36:56Good choice, sir.
36:57Hand out.
36:58Handle only.
36:59That is a bevel of some sort.
37:00Yes.
37:01Oh, you can only hold the handle.
37:02Oh, that's heavy.
37:03All right, that is some kind of driver drill thing.
37:06It's a drill.
37:07It's a drill.
37:08It's a drill.
37:09It's a drill.
37:10It's a drill.
37:11It's a drill.
37:12It's a drill.
37:13Yes.
37:14It's a drill.
37:15Very good.
37:16I've got two and a half to beat.
37:17That's quite tricky.
37:19Blindfold on.
37:20Blindfold is on.
37:21That's a wooden handle with some rivets in it.
37:26Is it a marking out knife?
37:27Perfect.
37:28Is it?
37:29Yeah.
37:30Yeah.
37:31Yeah.
37:32Yeah.
37:33Yeah.
37:34Yeah.
37:35Yeah.
37:36Yeah.
37:37Yeah.
37:38Yeah.
37:39Yeah.
37:40Yeah.
37:41Yeah.
37:42Yeah.
37:43Yeah.
37:44Yeah.
37:45Yeah.
37:46Yeah.
37:47Yeah.
37:48Yeah.
37:49Yeah.
37:50Yeah.
37:51Oh, yes.
37:52That's...
37:53Oh, I know exactly what that is.
37:54That's a spoke shape.
37:55OK, so the confession with this one, James, is I've got no clue what it is.
38:01I know exactly what it is.
38:02Do you?
38:03Yeah.
38:04Um, am I right in saying it's right-angled?
38:09Mm-hmm.
38:10Yeah.
38:11Is it a cabinet scraper?
38:15I think that's a veneer hammer.
38:18Yeah.
38:19Yeah, I think you're right.
38:20Oh, is that what it is?
38:21Yeah.
38:22Yeah, I think you're right.
38:23Yeah, no point.
38:24That means Simi's one.
38:25Yes!
38:26Yes!
38:27Yes!
38:28Join us next week for another thrilling episode of Can You Handle The Truth?
38:33And now we must down tools and head over to the pub, as Piers is on his way back to find out if we've managed to fix his broken toaster, and along with it perhaps restore some marital harmony to his home.
38:52So, this is Piers' toaster, which we have mended.
38:56It's quite difficult.
38:57I mean, there was an easy way of mending it, which was just by a new one of those, but we didn't want to do that because we're not defeatist.
39:03And it works.
39:04And this will transform his life because, so far, he hasn't been able to walk away from the toaster and leave it unattended.
39:11Let's bring him in.
39:12Where is he?
39:17Piers is here!
39:18Piers!
39:19Hi!
39:20James, hi.
39:21Look at that.
39:22Well, all you can see so far is that it's shiny.
39:24It's shiny.
39:25Yes.
39:26But that doesn't mean it works.
39:28Just before we go into this, I just want to say it is okay to become emotional.
39:33Don't bottle anything up.
39:35Your life was fundamentally ruined because you could not leave a toaster that is designed to be left unattended unattended.
39:45Absolutely.
39:46That's basically the problem, wasn't it?
39:47The good news is that after, well, it was over four hours of painstaking work because we didn't want to replace any of the original parts.
39:56We could easily have just bought a new timer there for something like 25 quid.
40:00But we discovered, having examined it very carefully, that the timer works on a simple escapement mechanism which has two pallets which work against a reciprocating gear wheel,
40:09which was slightly worn out and there's a little bit of enfloat in the shaft associated with it.
40:13And if we pushed that with our fingernail, then moved it up by about a quarter of a millimetre, the thing ran perfectly.
40:18So, we made a phosphor bronze leaf spring from a bit of scrap I had in my toolbox.
40:24Re-tapped an existing hole in the mechanism to take an M1.5 screw and adjusted the tension so that the shaft was pushed up by a quarter of a millimetre and now it works.
40:33James, fantastic. I think my toast will never taste the same again.
40:37Would you like a piece of toast?
40:39You must have a bit with you.
40:41Well, we have some bread.
40:43There's some bread.
40:44Here is some locally sourced British butter.
40:48There is a napkin and here is some red jam.
40:51We're about to make a very exciting bit of television where a timer counts down.
40:55Have you put it on the two toast setting?
40:58Um, I always leave it.
41:01Well, you mustn't do that.
41:03You must have the two toast setting on, but not the bun slot, otherwise you'll overheat the elements and burn them out.
41:08And then you'll be bringing it back to us to mend again.
41:11OK, and we go for two and a tiny bit.
41:15So now, basically, I could just walk away, make a cup of coffee, do whatever.
41:20Try it. Try walking away.
41:23I don't need to, I trust you.
41:26But you've been traumatised by this, you feel you can't.
41:29Just walk to the other side of the pub.
41:31Righty, I'll walk away. There we go.
41:33You have to go into the other room where you can't see it.
41:37This is the first time in years that Piers has been able to walk away from his toaster while it's toasting.
41:46Piers, you can come back in.
41:47You haven't touched it, you're on one.
41:49No.
41:50We haven't given it a nudge.
41:51You could have made your coffee by now, that would have been perfect.
41:53Absolutely.
41:54And it smells like toaster, it can't do smell.
41:56There's nothing wrong with this bit, the elements are all working beautifully.
41:58They're all fine.
41:59These things are infinitely repairable, as we've proved.
42:02And you enjoyed doing it, did you, Jameson?
42:06Yes.
42:09Now to see whether the timer will do its job and stop the toaster toasting.
42:14Oh, see?
42:15There we go.
42:16It's got to the end.
42:17What?
42:18Ah, perfect.
42:19Look at that.
42:20You tuck in.
42:22So?
42:23I'm pleased to see you cut rectangularly.
42:25Yes, not triangles.
42:26No, triangular people are untrustworthy.
42:29Right.
42:30Here we go.
42:36That's fine.
42:37It's the stuff of life, isn't it?
42:38Yeah.
42:39No, it's brilliant.
42:40Everything is complete.
42:41Are you at peace?
42:42I'm a happy man.
42:44Well, we've made somebody happy.
42:46And really, you can't ask for a greater privilege in life than that.
42:50It's like saving a life, in a way.
42:52In fact, we sort of have done, haven't we?
42:54Literally.
42:55Great.
42:56Well, we'll probably call it a day at that, then, because it's good to quit whilst you're
42:59ahead.
43:00Absolutely.
43:01Sim, thank you so much.
43:03James, thank you so much.
43:04It was really, really a pleasure.
43:06Our absolute pleasure.
43:08So, that's another successful repair job, and who knows, perhaps also a marriage restored.
43:14Let's toast to that.
43:31Amazing.
43:32Thanks, thanks for joining me.
43:34Gotta come, Sarah.
43:35Thanks for joining me.
43:36Just thank you so much.
43:37Although I was raised before, I told you, don't think.
43:40But here we are all done.
43:42予装 it.
43:43Inka, where will I take this trip?
43:45Is something you árdued.
43:46I'm a happy man, so you tryin' for us.
43:48Good evening.
43:50We are all theeger of anything.
43:51Remember the careers.
43:52What's the purpose for you?
43:53And we will hear that.
43:54We can always talk about before.
43:55Any needs.
43:56We are all thereso.
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