00:00My name is Dracula and I am here to say
00:07I love VHS Kung Fu films in the major way
00:11No longer a monster who drinks human blood
00:16Now I watch films in my castle with my werewolf blood
00:20Take it, Pete!
00:22Now cut, cut, stop the music
00:25You've ruined it, now this is crap
00:26In the intro!
00:28It's Dracula's Kung Fu Theater
00:31Starring Dracula, Pete the Werewolf, Howard
00:36And featuring Transylvania's censorship stooge, Yarmuladu
00:41It's Dracula's Kung Fu Theater
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