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FunTranscript
00:00Let's go!
00:30I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:33I never think you're gonna get out soon
00:40Good job!
00:41Give you a hand
00:43A golden star
00:45You think you're clever
00:47Good luck
00:49She took a break
00:51Made a mistake
00:53When she met driver
00:55Get us forever
00:59Get us forever
01:01Get us forever
01:05You think I'm pretty
01:09You think I'm pretty
01:11Who make you wanna fucking
01:13Close it off, want to back it on the ice for faster and faster
01:15I'll do the money
01:17I'm having a lot of games
01:18I'm having a lot of games
01:19I'm having a lot of games
01:21I hope we're gonna get out soon
01:23I will look
01:25Gonna get out soon
01:27Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
01:29Gonna get out soon
01:31I really hope you're gonna get out soon
01:35I know you're up at night
01:39Hunched over your phone like
01:41A tree
01:43A tree
01:45A darkly hill
01:47It's crooked from the wind that bites
01:49You say
01:51You're lost to seek
01:53All the power and the light
01:55You're washed up irrelevant
01:59I'm standing in my light
02:01I'm standing in my light
02:03You're st...
02:05I'm standing in my light
02:07You're st...
02:09You're st...
02:11You think I'm pretty
02:13You think I'm pretty
02:15You think I'm pretty cool
02:17You think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty cool
02:20You say you're scary, y'all
02:22Most people do, this is the real world, honey
02:26In spite of everything, I guess there's just no hidden to it
02:32Nice try, knock it out the way
02:35Good job, just take a fucking hit
02:38I said I'll see ya, you wanna be ya, you wanna be ya
02:42Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
02:46Nice try, get out of the way
02:49You're in our way
02:51Get lost forever
03:03Hey, if Rosano fucks you tonight, I'm gonna fucking back
03:08I think you mean fucks with, buddy
03:10I fucking mean what I mean
03:12You're burning a fake Rosanoff outside right now
03:14The fuck does that mean?
03:15They do it to you all the time in Boston, you wanna see it?
03:17Uh, no thanks
03:19Honestly guys, it doesn't help me focus
03:21Yeah, Mitty, they'll be weird somewhere else
03:23I'm not even now
03:25Whatever you need, Captain
03:27Hey Hollander, can you talk to NBC and some radio outlets in late time?
03:30Yeah
03:33Oh Mr. Hollander, what does Montreal have to do to win tonight?
03:38Well, hockey is a complicated, nuanced game
03:41But it would be helpful if we scored more fucking goals than the other team
03:45And how about that other team?
03:47Ilya Rosanoff has been on a tear lately
03:49He had a hat-trick last week
03:50And he's almost caught up to you in the scoring race
03:52Wanna know what he had to say about that this morning?
03:54Nah, I'll listen if he actually catches up to me
03:56Thanks guys
03:57Let's go
03:59Let's go
04:00Let's go
04:01Let's go
04:02Let's go
04:06Let's go
04:08Let's go
05:40Please do not do this.
05:47You will murder me.
05:58Maybe.
06:00Get in.
06:05Why the fuck did you think it was okay to sex me before the game?
06:08What the fuck?
06:09You were hard, weren't you?
06:11For how long?
06:12The whole game.
06:13You're such a fucking ass.
06:15Oh, you missed me, didn't you?
06:17I fucking didn't.
06:19I still beat your ass.
06:20Oh, barely.
06:21Oh, nice place.
06:29Thanks.
06:31I bought it a couple years ago, but then this year I bought another one right next door.
06:38I eventually might turn it into one place, but for now I'm renting the next door one out.
06:42Mr. Businessman.
06:44Shut up.
06:44Mr. Landlord.
06:47You asked.
06:48No, I didn't.
06:49No, I didn't.
07:02So what do you want me?
07:04In the kitchen, on the floor?
07:06Fuck you.
07:12Did your mom buy all these pillows?
07:14No.
07:15I hired someone.
07:17A designer.
07:19You think there is enough?
07:21He's such an asshole.
07:24I think maybe you'll like it.
07:27Smell the cigarettes from here.
07:30I had one.
07:31You shouldn't be smoking.
07:32You shouldn't be talking.
07:36Come here.
07:39No, you come here.
07:40No, you come here.
07:41No, you come here.
07:42Come here.
07:53You still won't?
07:56I still won't.
08:06You killed me, Wander.
08:10I'm dead.
08:12That was so fucking hot.
08:18Worth the wait.
08:19I should go.
08:41So, uh, obviously we won't see each other during the Olympics, right?
08:46Oh, right.
08:49Your family must be happy there in Russia.
08:52Mm, yes.
08:54My parents are pretty psyched for me.
08:57They're pissed they can't come, but my mom is starting to wake up before I am to watch
09:00every game.
09:01I bet, uh, your parents will be there, right?
09:07My father, yes.
09:09Maybe my brother, but who knows?
09:11Cool.
09:13Anyways, I'm psyched.
09:14I've been dreaming about it my whole life.
09:17Dreaming of what?
09:18Ron's medal?
09:19You fucking wish, dude.
09:24Hey, uh, remember when I made you come hands-free?
09:28Don't fuck yourself, Rosnan.
09:29It's such a good drink.
09:33Your cab is definitely here.
09:45Bye.
09:53Welcome back to Man in the Crease, your all-star hockey podcast.
09:57For the first period, we are four days into this year's Winter Games, and there's already
10:01a contender for top story here in Sochi, Russia.
10:04What an embarrassing and too promising year for the Russian men's hockey team.
10:08A hard pill to swallow on all mice, and especially for the young phenom, Ilya Rosanoff, chosen
10:14as his country's captain.
10:19Je déboule dans ma vie
10:22Piedre qui roule de la cigare
10:30à la fournie
10:33The calvin' car
10:35Under me
10:37All in there.
10:43What's up, motherfucker?
10:44Good boy.
10:45Hey.
10:46Holy fuck, can you believe Russia?
10:47Be nice, Fanny.
10:48Be nice?
10:48They fucking lost Latvia.
10:50Did you see that game?
10:51Yeah.
10:51It was a straight-up shit show.
10:52A debacle.
10:53Hey, what did Ross say about it?
10:55Uh, I don't know.
10:56Nothing to me.
10:57That's for sure.
10:59I think he knows Canada has this in the bag.
11:01Uh-uh.
11:01It's USA this year, baby.
11:02We're fucking coming for you.
11:03Okay.
11:03Trust me.
11:04You look great in silver, Fanny.
11:05Don't even stress.
11:05Oh, good one.
11:09Does your room have that smell?
11:11Yes.
11:12Yes, it does.
11:13Is it black mold?
11:15Because that's what JJ thinks it is.
11:16Yeah, he's probably right.
11:17The good news is, we're not going to be here long.
11:19All right, so tonight we can do the men's short form figure skating here.
11:21My buddy Joe is in that program.
11:22We train together.
11:24Would you guys be cool to do that?
11:25I'd love to show up for him.
11:27Hell yeah, man.
11:28Show up for any dude who's that brave.
11:31What do you mean?
11:33What?
11:34I'm assuming your buddy would be gay.
11:37I mean, I'd fucking pray for a dude to show up to a place like this and be like,
11:40Hey, here's me.
11:42Russia is not safe for folks like that.
11:45Fucking balls of steel, man.
11:46What?
11:47Yeah.
11:47What?
11:54Yeah.
11:55What?
11:56Hey, here's me.
11:59Man, your buddy fucking killed it.
12:19Yeah, he did.
12:23I'm just going to find the bathroom.
12:29Hey.
12:48I'm not here.
12:50No, I'm not.
12:52I saw you up here.
12:53I wanted to see how you're doing.
12:54Fine.
12:56Go sit down.
12:59We are not anything.
13:03Go away, Holander.
13:11Are you okay?
13:13Please, go.
13:15You didn't answer my text.
13:18No, I did not answer your boring text.
13:21Now you go.
13:23Fine.
13:25Fuck.
13:25Fuck.
13:25Fuck.
13:29I'll get...
13:31I'll get you.
13:37You're right.
13:39I'll get...
13:39Yeah, my brother.
13:42Minister still wants to meet you tonight,
13:45even if you're anything.
13:49It's a shame to me.
13:50You have to be a shame.
13:52After yesterday, you won't win...
13:58Latvia.
13:59Latvia.
14:01And he's still playing.
14:03How did you do that?
14:05Is it not sad to you?
14:06Not sad to you.
14:07Well, not so.
14:08They don't teach you discipline in this American League.
14:11It's not a game, it's a game.
14:13It's a real shame.
14:15It's not to justify the hopes you showed up in childhood.
14:19Now I'm playing better than when I was.
14:22Our team was damaged.
14:24The team was playing.
14:25Playing?
14:26What is this American absurd?
14:28What is it playing?
14:30You, captain, you're playing playing.
14:33You always find someone who's guilty from childhood.
14:41Who was it to you?
14:44Your mother?
14:46She can't do this.
14:52No, my dad, mom died.
14:55Mom died.
14:56You remember her?
14:57You remember her?
14:59I was in your eyes.
15:00You were there.
15:01Your mother...
15:02Where was Polina?
15:03Where did you go?
15:04In Moscow?
15:05Where's Polina?
15:08In Moscow?
15:10Of course.
15:15We need to go.
15:18In the evening.
15:21To meet the minister.
15:26Yes.
15:27Ready?
15:28Let's go.
15:30Of course, I'm always the same.
15:33Everything is always ended up in thericns.
15:35But until you wait a little while?
15:37It's not a form of?
15:39I want to be in the care of home.
15:41We need to go.
15:43Please come in America to work.
15:45Good, good.
15:48It's an advantage with you.
15:50It's always the problem.
15:52It's always the problem.
15:54It's a leader.
15:56Do you feel as much?
15:58Do you feel it?
16:00Well, I'm too much talking to you.
16:03You're my angel. You're too much talking to you, especially when it comes to hockey.
16:10Only when we're winning, Dad.
16:12I'm going to bring you to a bar, and he needs to be another one.
16:16Look how she's holding you.
16:20From the same time.
16:23I'm an angel. It would be good if I remember this.
16:26I want to drink.
16:28Well, I have something more interesting.
16:47Damninko, Ilya.
16:52Damninko, Sasha.
16:58I think you played well.
17:01I would like to say thank you, but I know that you didn't watch any other games.
17:05For those who have been a whole life son of a coach for hockey, you should avoid this.
17:10I sometimes blame you for me.
17:13When I understand what it is, I blame you for me for me.
17:17But in any case, it doesn't have any significance for you.
17:20It doesn't have any.
17:21Why did you do that?
17:22My father...
17:23Your father is a fool, who will any case you will kill you.
17:26You need to stop worrying about what he thinks.
17:30And you don't blame me for these stupid games, when you have real chance to win this year.
17:35Really?
17:36Yeah.
17:37That's right.
17:38Hunter and Admiral are not going through New Jersey.
17:40But New Jersey will not go through Holland and Montreal.
17:44I think that in this year you will win this year.
17:46In this year?
17:47Yeah.
17:48In this year.
17:49Because I think that Mitko is a trauma.
17:51How do you know everything?
17:53How do you know it?
17:54I'm an extra sense.
17:55I don't want to turn off the world.
17:56You never can never get it.
18:00Like we've seen a team here as well.
18:01It's sort of what looks like.
18:03This is the offense.
18:04It's a couple of days.
18:06Then you can win.
18:08You can win whoever in the запад.
18:10In Chicago.
18:11Not the way that's why.
18:13In the final game, it's probably San Francisco.
18:16And...
18:17They are good.
18:18but you're too young.
18:20So you'll win the Coupe of Scenes for a year earlier than I played with Sassu.
18:28Thank you, I'm going to sleep.
18:30Tomorrow you'll need to be perfect.
18:33You'll always look perfect.
18:35Right, but you'll need to be in agreement with us.
18:39We'll see you in the next week.
18:42See you later.
18:48Well, what?
18:52How's the Paris, Sassu?
18:55There's awesome.
18:58I just love this place.
19:01Clubs, my head.
19:05The girls are just beautiful.
19:08And boys?
19:11You've seen French guys?
19:16Yeah, Ilya?
19:23Oh my God.
19:25I don't know anything.
19:28You don't know how you're going.
19:31You don't know how you're going.
19:33You don't know how you're going.
19:35You don't know how you're going.
19:36You don't know how you're going.
19:37You don't know how you're going.
19:39You don't know how you're going.
19:40You don't know how you're going.
19:41You're happy.
19:42You're happy.
19:46You're happy.
19:58Here?
20:00Seriously?
20:01You're happy.
20:02You're happy.
20:03You're happy.
20:04I'm sorry.
20:06You're happy.
20:08You're happy.
20:10We're children, Sаша.
20:13Yes.
20:15Yes.
20:17That's right.
20:22Let's stop.
20:24Okay.
20:25Let's go somewhere.
20:26Let's go.
20:27Let's go.
20:28Let's go.
20:29Let's go.
20:30Let's go.
20:31Let's go.
20:33Let's go.
20:35Let's go.
20:38Okay.
20:39Let's go.
20:41I'm glad to see you.
20:43Okay.
20:52Let's go.
20:54I'm glad to see you.
21:01Okay.
21:12Captain's here.
21:13Yeah!
21:14Yeah!
21:15Yeah!
21:16Yeah!
21:17What am I supposed to do?
21:18I don't know.
21:19My mom told me to get by.
21:20Oh, my God.
21:24There's ginger ale on the pitch.
21:25Okay.
21:26Playoffs are over.
21:27You cannot keep the beer.
21:28That's not a rule.
21:29You just made that up.
21:30Hollander, is that a rule?
21:31Unfortunately, it is.
21:32Fuck you, Hollander.
21:33You can barely even grow one.
21:34No, no.
21:35Fuck you, Swedish inbred.
21:36Fuck you, Jay.
21:37Just fucking do it, Hayden.
21:38Stop.
21:39It's serious.
21:40Boys.
21:41Let's start.
21:42Let's turn it up.
21:43It's game six and the cup is somewhere inside as we speak.
21:46You know that Ilya Rosanoff wants this bad.
21:49Rosanoff and the Raiders have been on fire since the Olympic break.
21:52A heartbreaking game for the Russians seems to have only intensified the young Boston captain.
21:57He's on a tear, scoring ten goals over the past six playoff games.
22:01Okay, listen the fuck up.
22:04Look, I don't give a fuck how many goals I've scored.
22:08I don't give a fuck how I played two fucking nights ago.
22:12I don't need to think about that.
22:13That was yesterday.
22:14That was before.
22:15Now, I only need one thing.
22:19I need to win.
22:23Here.
22:24At home.
22:25Tonight.
22:26As much fun as it would have been to go to California and humiliate them there.
22:31But I want to hear our fans.
22:33I want to hear them scream.
22:36I want to fuck San Francisco.
22:39I know you can do it.
22:42I've seen you fucking do it.
22:44I've seen every one of you do it.
22:46So leave it all the fuck out there tonight.
22:51Because this is our fucking night.
22:55This is our fucking cup.
22:58Fucking fuck San Francisco.
23:01I can't believe that asshole is about to win the cup.
23:15Shane hates it the most.
23:17What?
23:18You hate Rosenhoff.
23:19Of course.
23:20But he's very good at acting.
23:23The best probably.
23:24Eh, nah.
23:25You're the fucking best all-ander.
23:27Yeah.
23:28Not that animal shit show cock sucking Russia.
23:30Now that is that.
23:33The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
23:36What a comeback story this year for Lilia Rosenhoff.
23:39Ah.
23:40The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs.
23:42Leading his team in block shots.
23:44He jumps against.
23:45Rob Gisley.
23:46The final match.
23:50Legend of Lamar!
23:51Woo!
23:52Woo!
23:54Woo!
23:55Woo!
23:56Woo!
23:57Woo!
23:58Woo!
23:59Woo!
24:01Love!
24:05Woo!
24:06Woo!
24:07Woo!
24:08Wow, nice watch.
24:09I gave this to you for free online.
24:10Wow, nice watch.
24:20I gave this to you for free.
24:21Where the fuck were you?
24:22We're on five seconds.
24:2325 seconds.
24:25Or even doing.
24:27And now, presenting the Lord's Tower Award.
24:30I was busy.
24:31Was who?
24:32Ilya Rosanoff and Shane Hall.
24:40But the most important thing is the friends we make along the way.
24:47Hey, before we give out next award, can I get a selfie with you?
24:52What?
24:53Come on, when will this ever happen again, buddy?
24:56Okay, fine, but hurry up.
25:04Great.
25:05Give me your number, I'll text them to you.
25:07No chance.
25:08And the Lord's Tower Award for most sportsman-like player goes to...
25:14ILYAGE
25:22ILYAGE
25:56What? What the fuck do you want, Rosanoff?
26:00You haven't answered a text from me in like six months.
26:04You won't even acknowledge I exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us and then it's for some fucking clown show.
26:10So yeah, what the fuck do you actually want from me?
26:15Well?
26:19I want you to suck my dick.
26:21Oh, fuck you. You are unbelievable. You suck my dick.
26:26I want you to suck my dick.
26:38Maybe as nicely.
26:45Hmm? Please.
26:47If you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick, you will have to ask nicer than that.
26:57Please get on your knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck my dick.
27:09Please.
27:10No.
27:24What?
27:26No.
27:27We'll go back to our seats, watch the rest of this boring show, and then go to boring party after.
27:36And then, when you have been waiting all night, you'll come back to my hotel room, and I will maybe, maybe do more than just suck your dick.
27:47When did your English get so good?
27:54I, uh, I read the New Yorker now.
27:57Really?
27:58No.
27:59The New Yorker is boring.
28:03My dad loves it.
28:05Ah.
28:06So being boring is, is genetic.
28:09Wow.
28:11Genetic.
28:11Let's make a deal.
28:19If you win MVP tonight, I will blow you, fuck you, whatever you want.
28:26And if you win?
28:41Good luck to me.
28:45Good luck to me.
28:46Good luck.
28:50Good luck.
28:54Good luck.
29:06Let's sit down.
29:07Let's see.
29:09We have to wait.
29:11Let's see.
29:13Congratulations.
29:33Now take off your clothes.
29:36You're such an asshole.
29:43You're such an asshole.
30:13What?
30:23Just a lot of windows.
30:25Thanks.
30:46Good.
30:48Now get on the bed.
30:55This is a good hotel.
30:58Very nice vodka.
30:59It's hard to find in America.
31:02Okay.
31:05Touch yourself.
31:06What?
31:07Show off for me.
31:08I want to watch you.
31:09You what?
31:11It's my special day, Hollander.
31:12I want to watch.
31:13I've never...
31:15No shit.
31:16Fuck you.
31:18Give me some vodka, at least.
31:19No, no, no.
31:20Vodka is for after.
31:22It's your reward.
31:25TCP.
31:28I'll bet you guys.
31:35Okay.
31:36I'll bet you guys.
31:40Let's play.
31:43Warning.
31:47Warning.
31:53Warning.
31:53Warning.
31:55do you want to know how it feels how what feels holding the cup you fucking asshole i can barely
32:25so russia this year was something else
32:37it's intense there
32:44so are you heading back soon back to russia for the summer oh yes
32:55why what do you mean why
33:04do you have to there is no have to it's it's home yeah but i don't know is it safe
33:17what do you mean safe i don't know
33:20do you do you even like it there
33:31what difference does it make a pretty big one i think
33:35i need to sleep oh yeah me too i should uh
33:47so uh i'm off
34:00goodbye hollander
34:17so
34:27I don't know.
34:57I don't know.
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