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  • 1 hour ago
A drunk Eli stumbles back to the cottage and he's confused when his key won't fit in the lock. Eli sees Viv and realises he's been had - she's changed the locks. Debbie and Jasmine arrive home from their holiday and Debbie is horrified to discover she's been locked out of her home.

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TV
Transcript
00:00THE END
00:10Try as hard as you like. You won't get in there.
00:12Not unless you're Paul Daniels.
00:14Huh?
00:15No, you can't have an own bag.
00:18Enjoy your several pints with the village alcoholic.
00:21You've stitched me up.
00:23Like a kipper. We can all play dirty.
00:25And I can play dirtier than most.
00:27Oh, I'm gonna get you for this.
00:30You can fly to the moon for all I care.
00:32Well, you got me out of there under false pretenses.
00:35And there's no tooth fairy. Now, scram.
00:37I need to get in there and get me stuff.
00:40What's going on?
00:42They were minging.
00:44Yeah, you're gonna regret this.
00:45The only thing I regret is letting a dingle move in in the first place.
00:48Now, on your bike!
00:49I don't have a bike!
00:54Now, look!
00:57Can I just change the lock?
00:58Yes, I can. And I have. You gave me no option.
01:00Have you never heard of the term, sitting tenant?
01:03I'm not interested. Scott wants to sell the place.
01:05And that is the end of the story.
01:06And what about me? What am I supposed to do now?
01:09Right, can I calm this person here? Just tell me what's going on.
01:12Oh, stay out of this, Bob.
01:13If I were you, I'd move your stuff before I call the council.
01:16What stuff?
01:17Oh, I'd be longing. She's chugged them in the back garden.
01:19You haven't.
01:20It's nothing to do with you.
01:21What about all my paperwork?
01:23It's in a bin bag, apart from his underwear, which is in a reinforced plastic bag marked
01:28Hazardous Waste.
01:29Do you know, I have a right mind to lump you.
01:31Hey, hey, we'll be having none of that.
01:32Go on, then. Hit me. Show us all what a big man you are.
01:35Inside! Now!
01:36Get off me!
01:39I don't believe this.
01:40I'm just giving you some friendly advice.
01:47No, Nicola, you're threatening me.
01:49It's my dad's company and I've got a right to be involved.
01:51Yeah, and I'm his wife.
01:53And I've been running this company single-handed for months, so back off.
01:56What are you going to do if I don't? Wrap me across the knuckles?
01:59Trust me, you really don't want to find out.
02:03Never forget, I'm smarter than you are.
02:07Oh, look, it's not my fault.
02:12It never is.
02:13What am I going to do now?
02:15Look, we can always keep it Ashley's for the night.
02:17Brilliant, then what?
02:18Oh, look, we'll figure something.
02:19Don't touch me!
02:20Debbie, will you not be like that?
02:22How do you expect me to be?
02:24It's one cock-up after another with you.
02:26I should be used to it.
02:27Oh, Debbie.
02:28Get out of my face, Eli.
02:29Look, I know you're angry, love, but...
02:31Angry?
02:32I'm not angry, I'm furious.
02:34That was my house until I left you home alone.
02:36Look, she were going to get you out one way or another anyway.
02:38It was by coincidence I stayed there.
02:40Oh, yeah.
02:41Bad news just follows you about, doesn't it?
02:43Nice one, Eli.
02:44Debbie, come back!
02:45We're dropped dead!
02:46Debbie!
02:47We're obviously deaf!
02:48Deb!
02:49Deb!
02:50Deb!
02:51Deb!
02:52Deb!
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