Emmerdale Eli vs Viv 16th January 2008

TV Critic 02

A drunk Eli stumbles back to the cottage and he's confused when his key won't fit in the lock. Eli sees Viv and realises he's been had - she's changed the locks. Debbie and Jasmine arrive home from their holiday and Debbie is horrified to discover she's been locked out of her home.

Transcript

00:00THE END

00:10Try as hard as you like. You won't get in there.

00:12Not unless you're Paul Daniels.

00:14Huh?

00:15No, you can't have an own bag.

00:18Enjoy your several pints with the village alcoholic.

00:21You've stitched me up.

00:23Like a kipper. We can all play dirty.

00:25And I can play dirtier than most.

00:27Oh, I'm gonna get you for this.

00:30You can fly to the moon for all I care.

00:32Well, you got me out of there under false pretenses.

00:35And there's no tooth fairy. Now, scram.

00:37I need to get in there and get me stuff.

00:40What's going on?

00:42They were minging.

00:44Yeah, you're gonna regret this.

00:45The only thing I regret is letting a dingle move in in the first place.

00:48Now, on your bike!

00:49I don't have a bike!

00:54Now, look!

00:57Can I just change the lock?

00:58Yes, I can. And I have. You gave me no option.

01:00Have you never heard of the term, sitting tenant?

01:03I'm not interested. Scott wants to sell the place.

01:05And that is the end of the story.

01:06And what about me? What am I supposed to do now?

01:09Right, can I calm this person here? Just tell me what's going on.

01:12Oh, stay out of this, Bob.

01:13If I were you, I'd move your stuff before I call the council.

01:16What stuff?

01:17Oh, I'd be longing. She's chugged them in the back garden.

01:19You haven't.

01:20It's nothing to do with you.

01:21What about all my paperwork?

01:23It's in a bin bag, apart from his underwear, which is in a reinforced plastic bag marked

01:28Hazardous Waste.

01:29Do you know, I have a right mind to lump you.

01:31Hey, hey, we'll be having none of that.

01:32Go on, then. Hit me. Show us all what a big man you are.

01:35Inside! Now!

01:36Get off me!

01:39I don't believe this.

01:40I'm just giving you some friendly advice.

01:47No, Nicola, you're threatening me.

01:49It's my dad's company and I've got a right to be involved.

01:51Yeah, and I'm his wife.

01:53And I've been running this company single-handed for months, so back off.

01:56What are you going to do if I don't? Wrap me across the knuckles?

01:59Trust me, you really don't want to find out.

02:03Never forget, I'm smarter than you are.

02:07Oh, look, it's not my fault.

02:12It never is.

02:13What am I going to do now?

02:15Look, we can always keep it Ashley's for the night.

02:17Brilliant, then what?

02:18Oh, look, we'll figure something.

02:19Don't touch me!

02:20Debbie, will you not be like that?

02:22How do you expect me to be?

02:24It's one cock-up after another with you.

02:26I should be used to it.

02:27Oh, Debbie.

02:28Get out of my face, Eli.

02:29Look, I know you're angry, love, but...

02:31Angry?

02:32I'm not angry, I'm furious.

02:34That was my house until I left you home alone.

02:36Look, she were going to get you out one way or another anyway.

02:38It was by coincidence I stayed there.

02:40Oh, yeah.

02:41Bad news just follows you about, doesn't it?

02:43Nice one, Eli.

02:44Debbie, come back!

02:45We're dropped dead!

02:46Debbie!

02:47We're obviously deaf!

02:48Deb!

02:49Deb!

02:50Deb!

02:51Deb!

02:52Deb!

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