- 9 hours ago
I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00John Carmack, one of the founders of id Software, famously stated around the time of Doom's release
00:05that according to him, story in a game is like story in a porn movie.
00:10It's expected to be there, but it's not that important.
00:13Though that quote has aged very poorly, he may have had a point.
00:17There are tons of excellent video game experiences which feature either half-baked or totally
00:21neglected narratives, but incompetent storytelling really becomes a problem when the plot was
00:26bad to begin with. Though they certainly redeem themselves in other ways, many great games have
00:31straight-up awful plots. I'm Jess from WhatCulture, and here are 10 great video games with terrible
00:37storylines.
00:39Number 10. Wolfenstein II The New Colossus, 2017
00:43Despite a few shortcomings, Bethesda's revival of id's famous Wolfenstein franchise has been
00:48relatively well-received. Though the first game was, ironically, pretty narrative-heavy for a game
00:53bearing the Wolfenstein name, it was nonetheless one of the most well-remembered games of 2014.
00:59Its sequel, however, didn't quite get that same treatment. The series' alt-history storyline
01:04drastically jumped the shark. Plus, for what it's worth, the overall Steam reviews for Wolfenstein II
01:10The New Colossus are mixed. While the original series' reboot was a satisfying tale of perseverance
01:15and revenge, the new game's plot is all over the place. After surviving a decapitation at the
01:21hands of the nefarious Frau Engel, a ludicrous plot in and of itself, franchise protagonist
01:27William Blazkowicz embarks on a long-winded tour of American cities, which eventually culminates
01:32in a trip to the planet Venus. Yes, seriously, Venus, that Venus.
01:382014's Wolfenstein game did see players touring a secret Nazi moon base, but that felt entirely
01:43practical when compared to some of the shenanigans which occur in the sequel. This is by no means
01:48an indictment of Bethesda or Machine Games, but if this is to become a trilogy, it'd be nice to
01:55tone things down just a notch.
01:579. Crysis, 2007
01:59Crysis, a sci-fi military FPS, released in 2007 and set in the far-off year of 2020, was famous for
02:08its insanely demanding specs on PC back in the day. While Crytek's breakout title could run on just
02:14about anything today, the phrase, but can it run Crysis, is still a huge meme in certain circles.
02:20While everyone remembers this game for its stunning visuals and inventive gameplay mechanics,
02:25few claim to ever have understood or cared all that much about the story. Crysis's narrative
02:30elements were by far its weakest feature, and the game felt more like a glitzy tech demo than
02:35anything else. The story revolves around the North Korean invasion of an island not far from the
02:40Philippines on which a US research team seems to have made some impactful discoveries.
02:46A part of a covert team sent in to extract these scientists, things quickly spiral out of control,
02:51as, well, alien stuff happens. The introduction of the Ceph, an alien race bent on the destruction
02:57of humanity, is pretty jarring in the original Crysis. The game goes from a fairly standard stealth
03:03action experience to War of the Worlds wannabe at the drop of a hat, and it's weird.
03:09Number 8, Call of Duty Ghosts, 2013. The original Call of Duty titles focused on exploring just about
03:16every conceivable narrative angle of the Second World War, yet when the series made the transition
03:21to modern warfare in the 2007 release of the same name, it was still more or less grounded in the
03:27geopolitical realities of the time. The same can absolutely not be said about 2013's Call of Duty
03:33Ghosts. Releasing during a time in which popular opinion was turning against the repetitive,
03:38over-the-top nature of the COD campaigns, Ghosts explored an absolutely ill-conceived and ridiculous
03:44plot thread. In the bleak, distant future of 2017, all South American countries band together to form
03:51the Federation of the United Americas. They're loud and dumb, and it doesn't get much bigger, louder,
03:57or dumber than this.
03:58Number 7, Far Cry 5, 2018. In the fifth entry in the long-running Far Cry series,
04:04the end is nigh as cult leader and apparent doomsday prepper Joseph Seed lays claim to the
04:10fictional Hope County, Montana. Pragmatic villains and unbelievable plots are staples of the Far Cry
04:16series, but this takes things a step further. Joseph Seed seems convinced that the end of the world will
04:21soon be upon his congregation, yet it's difficult for the player to get a beat on anything occurring
04:26outside of Hope County. As the game comes to a close, the player is given a choice to either
04:31walk away from, or resist, the Eden's Gate cult. Should he or she walk away, they seem to escape,
04:37with the intent of returning with reinforcements. Until Seed appears to hypnotize them, lapsing the
04:43character into servitude.
04:45The Evil Within was a 2014 survival horror title that felt a bit too much like a retread of Resi 4
04:56in the minds of some players. Yet while Resi 4 was campy and hilarious in places,
05:01The Evil Within was stone-cold serious, and it suffered as a result. The plot made little to no
05:07sense, and even when all the cards were laid on the table near the end of the game,
05:11the overarching narrative still came across as little more than a reason to chain a bunch of
05:16spooky environments together. Cerebral and involved, The Evil Within and its sequel may
05:21have benefited from a more straightforward plot. Instead, players were treated to the story of
05:26an umbrella-like organization intent on developing a biochemical hyper-reality, which they could use
05:32to rule the world before the man they placed in charge of it betrays them and corrupts everything.
05:36The concept is already hard to grasp, and it's made even more difficult by the fact that
05:41almost nothing is ever told directly to the player. Most who saw this game through to the
05:46end were probably still left scratching their heads as the credits rolled.
05:49Number 5. Uncharted Drake's Fortune, 2007. Developed by notorious Sony Cohort's Naughty Dog
05:56and released in 2007, Uncharted was a system-selling visual masterpiece meant to contend with
06:03Microsoft's rival Halo franchise. Though the PlayStation 3 would go on to lose that generation's console
06:08war by most accounts, the Uncharted franchise stood as something Sony fans could rub in
06:14the faces of their Xbox-owning counterparts. While the first Uncharted title is by and large
06:19a great game, the plot leaves something to be desired. It feels like what might have happened
06:24if Steven Spielberg had to film the original Indiana Jones trilogy on a shoestring budget,
06:30complete with hokey plot points and ridiculous cursed idol MacGuffins. Things really take a turn
06:35for the worse in the third act, when Nathan Drake is handed an MP40 and tasked with gunning down
06:41mutated Nazi zombies. Nobody seems to remember how off the rails the first Uncharted game's plot was,
06:48and that's probably for the best. Subsequent entries in Naughty Dog's famous action platforming series
06:53would fare much better from a narrative perspective, and we're all better off turning a blind eye to that
06:58weird pseudo-survival horror segment. Number 4, Fallout 4, 2015. In 2011, Obsidian Entertainment,
07:06now a subsidiary of Microsoft, proved that Bethesda wasn't the only studio out there capable of making
07:12a satisfying FPS Fallout title. With the ball in their court, what did Bethesda do to prove that they
07:18still had a handle on the franchise? By gutting most of the series' RPG mechanics and simplifying the
07:24story, of course. Fallout 4 is far from a bad game, but it doesn't quite live up to the
07:28legacy of the franchise as a whole, particularly from a narrative standpoint. While Fallout New Vegas
07:34had tons of possible endgame scenarios and was so story-rich that it could have given George RR Martin
07:40a run for his money, Fallout 4 was very by the numbers and featured a mere four endings, each focusing
07:46on one of the title's four main factions. What's more, there weren't quite as many interesting side quests
07:52or unique story beats to be found. Sure, players could help the super mutant strong find the milk
07:57of human kindness, or help Preston Garvey defend yet another settlement, but it all felt slightly
08:03soulless when compared to older entries. Number 3, Doom, 1993. As previously mentioned,
08:101993's seminal first-person shooter, Doom, was severely anemic in terms of narrative. At that time,
08:16video games weren't really considered to be an appropriate medium for storytelling,
08:20thanks to their relatively rudimentary natures. And that stigma would prevail until titles like
08:25Final Fantasy VII and the original Fallout would begin to sway opinions half a decade later.
08:31Yet fully fledged or not, Doom's plot is pretty stupid. Something about demons from hell invading
08:36a Martian base? Maybe throw in an evil megacorporation for good effect? The game's mission briefings may as
08:42well just say, shoot stuff! It would convey just about as much meaning. As a matter of fact,
08:47Doom doesn't even care about its plot. In 2016's Bethesda-backed series reboot,
08:52the player character is literally only there to kill things, and actively ignores even the most
08:57basic plot points. Much like the player, he's only there for the mayhem. This may be some sort of
09:02satirical Freudian parallel on id's part, but we're too busy getting neck deep in demon guts to care.
09:08This self-aware lack of narrative may hinder the series in future, but as of right now,
09:13giving demons seems to be the only impetus anybody needs.
09:16Number 2. Pokemon Ruby Slash Sapphire
09:19The narrative in Game Freak's handheld Pokemon titles has more or less remained the same for
09:25the past two decades. Capture and train Pokemon, thwart rivals, and challenge the Elite Four to
09:30become the very best there ever was. Such is the case with Generation 3's Pokemon Ruby and
09:35Sapphire, taking place in the region of Hoenn. The player begins their adventure in the town of
09:41Little Root and can test their rival May in a quest to become the greatest trainer around.
09:45Throughout their escapades, the player will come across some wannabe ne'er-do-wells associated with
09:50either Team Magma or Team Aqua, depending on the specific version of the game. Much like Team Rocket
09:56from the previous games, these guys are brewing some evil scheme which may put the world in peril.
10:01In this case, Team Magma wants to harness the powers of the legendary Pokemon Grudon so they can
10:07expand the land. Likewise, Team Aqua wants to capture Kyogre so they can increase the amount
10:12of water in the region. A terrifying ambition if there ever was one. These guys are also wanted
10:18for the crimes of jaywalking and removing mattress tags.
10:21Number 1. Destiny 2014
10:24Love it or hate it, Bungie's 2014 release Destiny has left its mark on the modern-day video game market.
10:30Among the first to kick off the current MMO light craze, Destiny promised to pit players alongside
10:36and against each other as they traveled the solar system in an epic quest to destroy the Vex.
10:42It was one of the most hyped-up releases of the past 10 decades and, according to many PlayStation
10:47fans, it failed to deliver, from a story perspective at least.
10:51It was too light on content and the story really didn't make a whole lot of sense.
10:55Packed with difficult-to-surmise plot elements and crammed with so many characters and factions
11:00with similar names that it was a challenge to tell them apart, Bungie sincerely failed to present
11:05a cohesive narrative. The cherry atop the failure Sunday was actor Peter Dinklage's infamously flat
11:11vocal delivery. The voice behind the player's ever-present Ghost Companion, he was so bad,
11:17or had conflicts, that the studio later had industry legend Nolan North redo all of the lines.
11:23Unfortunately, the damage was already done, and Dinklebot's asinine voice clips will forever
11:28remain a meme in the Destiny community. That wizard came from the moon.
11:33That's the end of our list, but let me know down in that comment section if you can think
11:37of any other great video games with terrible storylines.
11:41As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture. Thank you so much for hanging out with me.
11:45If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account, where I'm at JessMcDonnell,
11:49but make sure you stay tuned to us here for plenty more great gaming content.
Be the first to comment