00:00This is called a Boost Mobile Chirp, in which you push this button here and go,
00:05where you at? Just kidding, it's an iPhone.
00:09Hello, it's me, Valentina, and we're here with Unlocked.
00:16Oh my god, you want me to release all the secrets in the chambers of the Slytherins
00:21through my phone, girl? I cannot.
00:24But we're just going to give you a glimpse and a taste into my fantasy through my phone.
00:28When you open my phone, the first thing you will see is this.
00:32A fan-made collage of the one and only me.
00:36This is me as a boy, this is me as a Caucasian woman.
00:39That's old Hollywood glamour, because I'm perfect, beautiful, look like a model.
00:43Okay, Marys, we're going in.
00:45So my favorite app is Instagram.
00:48People love to tag me in things, like, look at this little cartoon of me.
00:51My fans do that for me. It's so sweet and it's so cute.
00:54When you're lonely and on tour, you have to have moments of intimacy with yourself.
00:59You can go to Pornhub, you can go to bilatinmen.com.
01:03Um, what else we got?
01:06Ex-hamster.
01:07Ex-hamster.
01:08But Mary, the one and the only was Tumblr.
01:10Tumblr was so amazing, but they done shut that bitch down.
01:14So, you know what, as a matter of fact, because you done blocked all the good porn,
01:19and you're going to cancel her.
01:20Delete Tumblr, delete that bitch.
01:22It's time to let her go and put her to rest.
01:24May she rest in peace.
01:26I do not use Snapchat, but I will go to my favorite Snapchat filter.
01:30She just blurs everything out and I would say, let's say,
01:33and then I go to Instagram and then I swipe with one more filter,
01:37because you need two filters, bitch.
01:39And Drag Girl, ooh, poreless.
01:41And then I swipe to Paris.
01:43Bitch, she is Parisian.
01:44Should I upload this live on Instagram right now?
01:46Let's put the location. We need to be savvy.
01:49We need to be like the children of today,
01:51that they let people know where they're at so they can get stalked.
01:55Huh? I have an idea.
01:58Creo que ya es tiempo para llamar a Gloria Trevi.
02:01Boom, boom, boom, boom.
02:02Hello, Valentina, Valentina.
02:06Hi, mi amor.
02:07¿Cómo estás, preciosa?
02:08Super bien aquí en Los Ángeles.
02:11Preparando para tu tour, ¿o estás de gira ahorita?
02:13No, ahorita estoy preparando todo.
02:15Gloria Trevi me va a regalar una canción.
02:18I wanted to say thank you,
02:19porque eso es como para mí algo,
02:21como un regalo muy grande.
02:23Gracias a ti.
02:24Regalo grande.
02:26Yo sé que la vas a interpretar muy lindo.
02:29Estoy orgullosa de ti por todo lo que representas,
02:31incluyendo también a la gente latina.
02:34Ay, no, a ti, mi amor.
02:36Tú eres mi madrina de Bipidi Bapidi Boo de la música.
02:38¡Mmm!
02:39¡Oh!
02:41I love you.
02:42I love you too, mi amor.
02:44Chao.
02:44Oh, my God.
02:49Oh, my God.
02:49This is my current favorite jam, okay?
02:51The strings, Mary.
02:52The strings.
02:53This is my single, and look at me.
03:08Look at my big ass.
03:09Girl, you know I ain't got no ass like that.
03:11Oh, my God.
03:12Ladies, gentlemen, transgenders and non-conforming,
03:16we have the RENT soundtrack.
03:19Live.
03:20Well, not really live.
03:21They aired our dress rehearsal.
03:24But we're going to get over that.
03:25I do have behind-the-scenes moments from RENT.
03:28I was in New York, and it was the first time Fox had flown me out to New York to kind of start rehearsals.
03:35Yes.
03:36Yes.
03:36That's Sonia, the choreographer.
03:38Oh, hit it.
03:39Hit it, girl.
03:41Oh, one, two, three, four.
03:44Turn, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing.
03:45Oh.
03:46Yes.
03:47Oh, my God.
03:47My life was so fabulous, y'all.
03:49I have Grindr.
03:50No, not for hooking up.
03:52What I do is when I'm traveling, I kind of actually talk to my fans.
03:56I invite them to my shows.
03:57So it's not only just sex.
03:59Oh, no, Mary, we're not opening that app.
04:01So let's go back to Instagram and see if anybody done.
04:04Oh, my friend Esteban Calderon, he's photographed me.
04:06He lives in Mexico City.
04:07He just said, yes, baby.
04:10I love this wig on you.
04:12Wig?
04:13Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed this tour through my phone.
04:17Ciao.
04:19Bye.
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