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10 Horror Movies That Suck So Bad You Can't Believe They Got Made
Transcript
00:00Betraying conventional wisdom, some truly awful horror ideas have somehow been given
00:05the green light over the years. Whether the concepts were flawed, the characters were
00:09one dimensional, or there was simply no realistic way these films could ever work, somehow money
00:15was spent to get these stinkers made. So, with thy mind, I'm Andrew from WhatCultureHorror
00:20and here are 10 horror movies that suck so bad you can't believe they got made.
00:2510. Dreamcatcher When it comes to adapting the work of the legendary
00:30Stephen King, it's been an extremely mixed bag over the years. Quite simply, some of
00:34King's written tales just don't translate all that well to other mediums. And one of
00:39the very worst King adaptations is 2003's Dreamcatcher. Despite an impressive cast featuring the likes
00:45of Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Damien Lewis, Timothy Olyphant and Jason Lee, Brody Bruce
00:51represent you, this tale of friends battling a horde of alien parasites was a total dud,
00:57butchering large elements of King's story and becoming a convoluted, bloated mess. Dreamcatcher
01:02should have been a slam dunk, but despite how King himself is fond of the movie, most people
01:07would class it as the worst ever adaptation of his work.
01:109. Shutter The 2008 remake of the 2004 time movie of the same name, Shutter, which I picked
01:18up for £1 back in the day, centres on Joshua Jackson's Ben, a newly married photographer
01:23who moves to Japan with his wife Jane. After being involved in a traffic accident that leads
01:27to the death of a young girl, strange lights begin to appear in Ben's pictures. Could it
01:31be that he's just not very good at his job? Nah, instead it's all about an evil spirit.
01:36While the original time movie was a hit and had plenty of charm to it, the remake is just
01:40painfully dull, full of cliches and just a disappointing cash in at a time when it was still all the
01:46rays to just lazily remake foreign language horrors. As for that cash in element though,
01:50it actually kind of worked, as the film actually made nearly $50 million from its $8 million budget,
01:56which is really, really baffling.
01:588. Mary Mary begins with a woman and her two daughters being discovered at sea after being
02:04presumed dead. What began as a jolly family sailing trip turned into a living hell when the salvaged boat
02:10they were sailing on, turned out to be haunted. Never convenient. With Gary Oldman and Emily
02:15Mortimer leading the cast, and plenty of potential for seafaring scares, Mary could have been alright,
02:21but it turned out to be a complete shipwreck. Excuse the pun. The plot is all over the place,
02:26and even with an interesting premise and a claustrophobic location, Mary just isn't scary one bit. In fact,
02:33it's actually quite boring, and one of those rare bad Gary Oldman films. But hey, if you're looking for a
02:38genuinely great seaside set horror tale, you could do a lot worse than check out 1976's The Witch Who
02:44Came From The Sea. 7. The Resort
02:47If you were friends with a horror fiction writer who asked you to come with her to an abandoned hotel
02:52on a remote island to investigate reports of a ghostly presence, would you go? If you said no,
02:57you are officially smarter than the characters in the resort. Lex and her friends quickly find out that
03:02ghost hunting isn't as fun as Scooby Doo makes it out to be, as they end up trapped in the creepy
03:07locale with a mythical half-faced girl hot on their heels, before they get picked off one by one in
03:13increasingly gruesome manners. Despite only clocking in at 75 minutes, the resort feels like it's
03:18constantly running out of ideas. But one impressive face-ripping sequence, the resort's just so
03:23vanilla, and somehow manages to properly drag even with its short runtime.
03:286. Alone in the Dark
03:30Oh boy. Movies inspired a lot. The Alone in the Dark film is just a properly rough one,
03:36full of abysmal camera work, stilted dialogue, and actions so unexciting you'd have no idea it was
03:42based on a game that used to be legitimately terrifying back in the day.
03:475. Alice in Murderland
03:49Lewis Carroll's whimsical tales of Alice and her time in Wonderland are regarded as classics of
03:54children's literature. If you're in the mood to ruin a beloved childhood favourite though, here's a
03:59god-awful horror movie that borrows heavily from it. Yay. Alice Lewis is just your ordinary 21-year-old,
04:05with a fear of growing up. So her best pals decide to throw her a special birthday party
04:10themed around Lewis Carroll's books. Unfortunately, somebody sneaks in dressed as a Jabberwocky and
04:16starts picking them all off. Alice in Murderland has all the bad qualities of a low-budget horror,
04:21but with none of the charm. It's poorly acted, poorly produced, poorly written, and you can even
04:26see crew members in several of the shots. Yeah, not good. Not good at all. Although it could be worse,
04:32it could be Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. 4. Slenderman
04:36Real-life murders have always inspired horror movies, but there are times when it converge
04:41into the exploitative. Case in point, Slenderman. In 2014, two 12-year-old girls lured their friend
04:47into a forest and stabbed her 19 times, almost killing her. They claimed to have carried out
04:52this horrendous act to appease the Slenderman, the creature that had gained popularity through its
04:56appearance on various online forums. In 2018, just one year after the girls involved in the attack
05:02were sentenced, a film came out featuring the Slenderman as the main villain. Whilst not explicitly
05:08inspired by the real-life attacks, the movie was still way too close to the truth to be enjoyable.
05:14Also, it was really bad. Thinly constructed characters, the most lazily basic of plots,
05:18no actual scares. Slenderman had it all, and it was roundly savaged by audiences and critics alike.
05:253. American Psycho 2
05:28Yes, there is an American Psycho 2. Originally written as a completely unaffiliated screenplay,
05:33this story was tweaked to include a tacked on reference to the first film. The main character,
05:37a murderous criminology student played by Mia Kunis, begins the film by killing Patrick Bateman,
05:42before… wait a second… she kills Patrick Bateman? That alone should be a red flag.
05:47Kunis' character then follows in Bateman's footsteps, covertly killing her classmates in order to
05:52advance her studies. Her course is overseen by a former FBI agent, played by… William Shatner.
05:57Yeah, that's another red flag. Nobody wanted a sequel to American Psycho, especially not one
06:02with so little to do with the first movie. Bret Easton Ellis, the author of the original novel,
06:07has gone on record with how much he hates this film. And even Mia Kunis herself has expressed
06:12regret that she was even in it. All of this without even mentioning how terrible the movie is,
06:16but that kind of goes without saying. 2. Exorcist II The Heretic,
06:20sequel of all time. Well, maybe until The Exorcist Believer came around last year.
06:25Exorcist II The Heretic is just so, so bad. Set four years after William Friedkin's Exorcist,
06:31here we have the teenage Riga McNeil struggling to adjust to life after her possession,
06:35while a priest questions her on the death of Father Merrin. Both Friedkin and William Peter Blatty,
06:40as in the writer of the Exorcist novel and its screenplay, opted against returning,
06:44as they didn't feel a sequel was necessary. And boy, did Exorcist II The Heretic prove them right,
06:50with Blatty even reportedly attending the screening of the film, where the audience was outright
06:54laughing at the horrors on screen. Still, don't let that put you off The Exorcist III though,
06:59for that is a genuinely stunning movie that's thankfully received a little more love in recent years.
07:051. Things The story of 1989 independent Canadian
07:10Horror Things is an absolutely fascinating one. Starring Barry J. Geels, one of the film's writers,
07:16and Amber Lynn, best known for her work in the adult industry, Things is about a group of men
07:20who have to fend off a series of mutant creatures created by a mad doctor. Sounds fairly unassuming,
07:26until you learn that this is one of the worst made films in all of human history. Up there with The Room
07:32and Troll 2 in terms of famously dreadful films, Things is shoddily made, poorly acted, badly scripted,
07:38and about as scary as a paddling pool full of puppies. It doesn't help that Things was made on
07:43a budget of roughly nothing and shot on a Super 8 camera by people who had seemingly never even seen
07:49a film before, let alone made one. Although it's mad to think that something so terrible actually exists,
07:54there are plenty out there who love Things for just how horrible it is. It lives on in the hearts of
08:00fans of bad cinema and will stand forever as a testament to the phrase, so bad it's good. Or you know, just bad.
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