Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 5 weeks ago
Matt Rife's third stand-up special in two years ... all crowd work. On YouTube for free. "Y'all wanted crowd work so bad | dG1fREFoUmhJNExSNjg
Transcript
00:00so for the women in the audience what might be some red flags for a guy you say flip-flops
00:07everywhere we're gonna fuck with the beach your dogs out of the restaurant wow hanks dogs
00:15everybody this has been an experience you have you went on a date with a guy and you
00:19wore flip-flops to it yeah there was a dude who was like a 10 he was a 10 he had all 10 toes
00:30hold on a second he was a 10 he was ivy league educated he's a good-looking guy has a great
00:36job she was like I'm about to trap this man they showed up with flip-flops and she went uh never
00:42mind talents did you ever see that guy again was that the only day he went up with he was just a
00:51friend of yours who can talk flip-flops legos in his bedroom well maybe don't fuck eight-year-olds in the
01:06first part elaborate he was 23 he was 23 he had a lego village and his bedroom okay so you don't
01:19fuck with architecture did you ever play with him ungrateful was it it was like a town that he had
01:29built all right sex aside was it kind of impressive it was a little bit that's what I'm talking about
01:36see judging too much are you afraid you were gonna swallow something by accident they were in his parents
01:44house they were in his parents oh he still lived at home yeah that's the red flag it's not about
01:49it's not about the legos let me wait hold on what'd you say to me bitch did you say comedian turn these
01:59lights on right now I'm sweating off I don't know why's the comedian a red flag you don't like funny guys
02:05you want to be the funniest one you losing already this is not a good stuff what's that you don't have a
02:13stage I feel like you dance on one well I'd be pissed if my stripper was like knock knock
02:27but instead of the noise just goes who's there c-section be nice to me what do you actually do
02:46you're a makeup artist it's not very funny what made you want to do that we good at drawing
02:54you've always been autistic autistic oh sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I heard something totally
03:05different okay okay you're so funny we'll see you must be a good makeup artist you're making me look
03:13good right now that was less of a red flag more of a shot
Be the first to comment
Add your comment

Recommended