rapidsave.com_sensational_witchcraft-pnsc95r9o55g1

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00:00Let me introduce you to your next party trick.

00:03That's the only way I know how to tie my shoes anymore.

00:05I've been doing this since the fifth grade.

00:06Here comes again.

00:09I was once standing in an OR hallway and I had to re-tie my scrub pants.

00:13Picture it's right here on my scrub pants.

00:14And I was doing that and someone was like, what the hell just happened?

00:18And I was like, oh, you mean this?

00:20And soon they were like, do it again, do it again.

00:24And eventually, I obviously worked in an orthopedic hospital, so it was all men.

00:27And so all of a sudden, it was just like eight or ten men standing around me in an OR hallway,

00:32staring at my crotch, periodically going, whoa!

00:36I was doing this.

00:39It's not that, it's, I'm literally tying a bow.

00:43All right, you want to know how?

00:44Here I go.

00:45Okay, I'm going to go slow and then I'll go step by step, okay?

00:48Pew, pew, wah, ee, ya, aboof, right?

00:53Simple.

00:54Okay, here we go.

00:54We'll walk through.

00:55First step is fancy pinkies.

00:56You're going to take your pinkies and have your laces lie on top of them.

00:59You're not just going to make a new fist.

01:01So now your laces are through your pinky, like so.

01:05And you should have sort of a loose tension so that you can, like, pull the lace through,

01:09but it's not going to slide right out, okay?

01:11Now you're going to do pew, pew, little finger gun.

01:13Now you're going to make them sort of more into lobster claws.

01:15This is going to make it easier.

01:17You're going to wrap away from you on your right side, towards you on your left side, okay?

01:23Now we're going to make train tracks, and you're going to take your left pointer finger

01:27to line up with your right thumb, like this.

01:30Now slide so they are kissing.

01:32Okay, now whatever loop is able to grab within each of your little lobster claws...

01:37Oh, sorry, my pasta is boiling.

01:39Pointer finger of your left hand to your thumb of your right hand.

01:43Slide them in, make them kiss.

01:44You're pinching on whatever is closest to you, and you're pulling through.

01:49If it doesn't look like this, you've done it wrong.

01:52And then just tighten, that's it.

01:53And it's a normal knot.

01:55People are like, hey, what do you want to do?

01:57Yes, it will, stupid idiot.

01:59Anyway, just as a recap, fancy pinkies, pew, pew, lobster claws, fuck you, no, fuck me.

02:06Dream tracks, make them kiss, pull, and whip it.

02:09I need to know that I just gave you a lot of power right now.

02:12Like, people are going to lose their freaking minds when you pull that shit out.

02:15I can literally be walking, see that my shoe's untied, and tie it and not break stride.

02:20Like, I'm giving you the keys to the castle right now.

02:23Don't mess this up.

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