- 2 weeks ago
Critical Role (Travis Willingham, Marisha Ray, Laura Bailey, Liam O’Brien, Taliesin Jaffe, Ashley Johnson, Sam Riegel, and Matthew Mercer) go head-to-head, testing their basic culinary skills. From apple peeling to crafting the most delicious canapé, who will be crowned the Epicurious Culinary Champion?
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00The cast of the Mighty Nine will be competing in challenges testing basic
00:04culinary skills. One by one, they will be eliminated. But who will be the last one standing?
00:09All right, here it is. Apple. You are a master peeler. With the tools you have,
00:17peel the longest continuous piece of apple skin. The bleeding starts right away.
00:22The longest continuous piece. When time is up, you will measure the length at which your peel
00:27hangs. The shortest peels are eliminated. Ready?
00:33Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Question. There were two tools there. Do we have to use either tool or we can...
00:37You don't know. Shut up, Ashley. Hey, hey. Is there a time limit?
00:42One minute. One minute. Oh, wow. Are these tools sharp?
00:46Is there a first aid kit on hand? I'm gonna throw up.
00:50Oh, . Let's go. Okay, okay. Okay, okay.
00:54Oh, shit. I've already it up. You can keep being tried again.
00:58Oh, wait. Oh, okay. Okay.
01:00Travis is gonna rocket this.
01:02No, I'm biffin' it. I'm shaking.
01:05This is real bad. I'm shaking.
01:07Oh, my God. I'm gonna kill myself. Damn it.
01:11Was it Sleepless in Seattle? Lord, it happened.
01:13I hate y'all. Damn it. You know, on the weekend, I'm a moil.
01:18He falls. 30 seconds. What?
01:2030 or three? 30. Okay.
01:23We're okay. We're okay. Why would he say three?
01:25I don't know. Oh, God. I don't think I can get a long piece anymore.
01:29I don't have anything. Oh, God. This is bad.
01:32you guys.
01:33it up. I give up. Jesus.
01:36I think I crushed it, you guys. Wow.
01:39I made it. Oh, God. I don't want to break it.
01:41Please compromise. Wow.
01:43That's a tape. I don't think the tape measure goes that far.
01:46That's not a far. Is that the first time you said that?
01:48Is that your baby?
01:49Oh, God! No!
01:51No! No! No!
01:52That counted! That counted! That counted!
01:54That counted! It's done.
01:56It was longer before.
01:59Let's go, Matt. It's a perfectly average size.
02:01Ooh.
02:0210 inches!
02:03Get the job done.
02:04Marisha! Wow. Jesus.
02:06Oh, my God.
02:0715 inches. Great.
02:09Okay. Still in the game. Still in the game.
02:1110 inches. Yikes.
02:13If I lift it, it's gonna break.
02:14Does it have to lift?
02:16Oh, it is so good.
02:17I wasn't told that in advance.
02:18You have to lift it! Get away from me, Laura.
02:19Shake it, shake it.
02:20Shut the up.
02:21Get away from me.
02:22Hey!
02:23Hey!
02:24Hey!
02:25Kick her out right now!
02:27Right now!
02:28Disqualified!
02:29Ow!
02:30Ow!
02:31Why are we always so in character?
02:33Three, seven and three quarter inches.
02:35Only four for you.
02:36She Tonya Harding me.
02:38Five inches.
02:39Three and a quarter inches.
02:41Hey!
02:42Ashley!
02:43Wow!
02:44Nice.
02:45Nice.
02:46Whoa!
02:47You and me, baby.
02:48You and me.
02:49All right.
02:50Congratulations.
02:51Hey, I can't be a number one without a number two.
02:54That's true.
02:55That's true.
02:56My doctor tells me.
02:57Taliesin and Laura are eliminated.
02:59Oh!
03:03I wish I had peeled better.
03:05I should have gone for the knife.
03:07I went for the knife and I sucked.
03:08Yeah.
03:09And you went for the peeler and you sucked.
03:10Yeah.
03:11No.
03:12We should have switched.
03:13We should have just not sucked.
03:14Yeah.
03:15Or just peeled a tangerine or something.
03:16Something else.
03:17No.
03:18Remove your apron.
03:19Oh!
03:20In the immortal words of Matt Damon.
03:21So it's right.
03:22How do I get apples?
03:24Wine.
03:25Wine.
03:26Wine.
03:27You are an ounce oracle.
03:28Pour exactly four ounces into the empty glass.
03:31Oh, shit.
03:32Oh, what?
03:33Get out of here.
03:34How farthest from the line are eliminated.
03:36Going over gets you eliminated.
03:38Oh!
03:39Ready?
03:40Going over gets you eliminated.
03:41What?
03:42Oh, boy.
03:43Going over.
03:44If you feel like you've over poured, are you allowed to pour out?
03:46Okay.
03:47Oh, there's another question.
03:48Yeah, knew it.
03:49We're talking like a California Cabernet.
03:52Oh, my God.
03:55I can't wait for y'all to see this one.
03:56Turns out being eliminated was the best.
03:58Okay.
03:59Wine skin.
04:00Oh!
04:01What?
04:02A wine skin.
04:03Okay, wow.
04:04Oh, my gosh.
04:05What if we failed because we don't know how to open this?
04:09Oh!
04:10Oh!
04:11Wait, how long do we have?
04:12A minute.
04:13Okay.
04:14Ooh, ooh, ooh.
04:15Let it aerate.
04:16Let it aerate.
04:17We extreme, there's, you know, there's much to this.
04:19Yeah, there's a theme to today, isn't there?
04:20Get a little shake.
04:21Get a little shake.
04:22Cup hold.
04:23That's a sound I cannot handle.
04:24Oh, God.
04:25Yeah, are we allowed to know how many cups this holds?
04:27Remember to shake it before you put it away.
04:29Oh, goodness.
04:30Oh, wow.
04:31Stop.
04:32You want to get the chunky stuff at the bottom or otherwise you can't taste the wine.
04:34Four ounces.
04:35Can you taste the number of ounces?
04:37Yep.
04:38I think I'm going to hold.
04:39I'm going to do a little more.
04:40I'm going to do a little more.
04:41Don't you dare.
04:42I don't want to go over.
04:43I'm so nervous.
04:44Yeah.
04:45I'm not understanding.
04:46We're going less.
04:47We're going less.
04:48All right.
04:49Oh, my God.
04:50I'm so nervous.
04:51Oh, you're going to work.
04:52We're presenting.
04:53There's a line.
04:54There's numbers.
04:55Okay, that's 2.5 ounces.
04:56Oh.
04:57Oh.
04:58Oh.
04:59Oh.
05:00That is 3.5.
05:01Whoa.
05:02Okay.
05:03That's actually a small pour for Marisha.
05:06Yeah.
05:07It's true.
05:08Oh, my God.
05:09I'm shaking.
05:10The stakes couldn't be higher.
05:11It's true.
05:12Oh.
05:13Oh.
05:14Oh.
05:15Oh.
05:16Oh.
05:17Oh.
05:18Oh.
05:194.5.
05:20Oh.
05:21Oh.
05:22You're around 3.
05:23Oh.
05:242.25.
05:25Oh.
05:262.25.
05:27Oh.
05:28Great.
05:29The saddest little clap.
05:31That says 3 ounces on the money.
05:35Oh.
05:36Thanks.
05:37Wow.
05:38Whatever you do, don't spill it on the table.
05:393.15.
05:40I like it.
05:41I like 3.15.
05:42Travis and Marisha.
05:43Oh.
05:44You know, I think I got a little overly ambitious.
05:49Obviously, we've still got some things to work on, but...
05:52Yeah.
05:53You know, it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.
05:54It's better to be overcooked than undercooked.
05:56And it's better to have overpoured than underpoured.
05:58Oh.
05:59That's why I'm sticking by it.
06:00Solid.
06:01All right.
06:02Go away from the sage.
06:03Terrible.
06:05Take that L.
06:07Milk.
06:08Milk.
06:09Milk.
06:10You are a cereal connoisseur.
06:11Yep.
06:12Yep.
06:13Blindfolded, you must sip milk and guess which cereal it shared a bowl with.
06:17Shout the correct answer for a point.
06:19Five milks to taste.
06:20That's awesome!
06:21The two with the lowest point total are eliminated.
06:25Ready?
06:26I would have been perfect for this.
06:28I'm such a cereal fan.
06:29One.
06:30I need to cleanse my palate.
06:31Where's the water?
06:32Where's the water?
06:33The first cereal is Froot Loops.
06:34Who do you feel like is going to be the winner?
06:36Um...
06:37Gold!
06:38Pinot Grigio.
06:42Oh.
06:43Oh, that's familiar.
06:44Honeycomb!
06:45Nope.
06:46Sight.
06:47Nope.
06:48Tricks!
06:49It was just coming out of my mouth.
06:50Wait, wait, hold on.
06:51Corn Pops?
06:52What is it?
06:53Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
06:54Fruity Pebbles!
06:55Zero points that round.
06:56The second is Apple Jacks.
07:01I hope you choke on it.
07:02Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
07:03Oh!
07:04I'm wrong!
07:05Put your black hole back on!
07:07Cinnamon!
07:08Who do Alitos?
07:09Cinnamon Life?
07:10Cinnamon.
07:11Cinnamon Life?
07:12Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
07:13Frank Toast Crunch!
07:14F***!
07:15That's all the cinnamon cereals I know!
07:17Apple Jacks!
07:19I was thinking of it as Apple Jacks.
07:21If they suck it up, does one of us get to come back?
07:23You can also just sip it for those of you that are...
07:25Pounding it.
07:26He's like, no, no.
07:27Like it's Mardi Gras.
07:28Mardi Gras?
07:29Mardi Gras?
07:30Mardi Gras?
07:31The third cereal is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
07:37Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
07:38F***!
07:39Hey!
07:40Sorry, what's that?
07:41Deep, deep, deep.
07:42The fourth cereal is Frosted Flakes.
07:47Cocoa Pebbles.
07:48Cocoa Puffs!
07:49Cocoa Krispies!
07:50Uh...
07:51Honey Nut Cheerios!
07:53Count Dracula?
07:54Lucky Charms.
07:55Lucky Charms.
07:56Oh, man.
07:57Frosted Flakes!
07:58Oh, my God!
07:59Oh, my God!
08:00Oh, my God!
08:01Oh, my God!
08:02Oh, my God!
08:03You win!
08:04You win!
08:05I've never been more invested in something in my life.
08:07I've got to cleanse my power!
08:09The fifth is Cocoa Pebbles.
08:13Cap'n Crunch.
08:14Cocoa Pebbles.
08:15Honey Nut Cheerios.
08:16F***!
08:17What?!
08:18You just guessed random s***!
08:19You just guessed random s***!
08:20It is!
08:22Matt and Sam are eliminated.
08:26I will leave the game in protest because Liam cheated.
08:31Oh, my God.
08:32And so any victory of his is Pyrrhic at best.
08:35He does not deserve to go on.
08:37Sorry, losers!
08:39I agree, but Ashley absolutely deserves this.
08:41If there's anybody that should have taken that last challenge, it's Ashley Johnson.
08:44Yes, and I hope she wins the whole thing.
08:46I hope so, too.
08:47Good job, losers.
08:48Canapé.
08:49You are a snack sorcerer.
08:50Use your food inventory to craft the tastiest one-bite snack possible.
09:02The snack dubbed most delicious will be decided by the six eliminated.
09:06You have five minutes.
09:09Winner is dubbed the culinary battle champion.
09:12Ready?
09:13Yes!
09:14Amazing!
09:15I can't wait.
09:16I decided to check.
09:17What?
09:18I'm not going caviar?
09:19There's so many routes we can take this!
09:20I don't know why I'm screaming.
09:21How upset are you going to be if you pick Liam's?
09:24Very upset.
09:25I want him to go down, down in flames.
09:30Okay.
09:31Do you know what you're doing?
09:32No.
09:33Oh, you're going crackers.
09:34Interesting.
09:35I don't know what I'm doing.
09:36Interesting.
09:37Hey, you're going cheese.
09:38Always go cheese.
09:39I'm nervous.
09:40I'm going out on a limb here and I'm going to do salmon and cream cheese.
09:41Do you do a lot of cooking at home?
09:42I do not.
09:43Ever.
09:44That's not true.
09:45But I feel like what I cook is basic.
09:46Liam cooks for his family, but it's healthy.
09:49Yeah.
09:50And Ashley orders really well.
09:51Yeah.
09:52You know what I'm good at?
09:53Tell me.
09:54Postmates.
09:55Me too.
09:56Oh, we do have a little dill.
09:57Okay, great.
09:58I also think Ashley creates a very colorful palette.
10:00Maybe her cracker will be very colorful.
10:02Do looks go into this?
10:03I feel like they do.
10:04I think they do.
10:05Presentation.
10:06Maison platte.
10:07I might have gone wrong with choosing the little pancake instead of the cracker.
10:11Some prosciutto.
10:12And cream cheese.
10:13And a little bit of honey.
10:14Liam's whole meals are so generally bland.
10:17Like his personality.
10:18Right.
10:19How do I put it?
10:20It's very Whole Foods core.
10:21Yeah.
10:22I'm going for savory, but with just a little surprise of sweet to it with the honey.
10:26I'm also going to add a little dill.
10:28Maybe people don't like dill.
10:29I love dill.
10:30Ashley's going to go hard.
10:31She's going to get halfway through and then she's going to panic in the last 30 seconds
10:34and then put the rest of it on.
10:35Ding, ding, ding.
10:36She's not great with decisions.
10:37No.
10:38Yes, that's true.
10:39Oh my God.
10:40I don't know why I'm adding chives here.
10:42I still perpetually have loser mentality, so I'm ready to lose.
10:47Liam is incredibly competitive.
10:49Very much.
10:50Did you notice how angry he got when I tapped his hand?
10:52It would have fallen anyway.
10:54I mean, these are solid ingredients to put together.
10:57You can't really go wrong.
10:58I don't care who wins, but I do care who loses.
11:00I instructed Ashley to cheat and to carve a little A into the base of her cracker.
11:04Well, so we know.
11:05But I don't know if she'll play ball.
11:07I might have done something a little weird with adding the chives.
11:10Let's smoke this mess.
11:11Okay.
11:16May the best chef win.
11:19Hi, Fran.
11:20Hi.
11:21These are beautiful.
11:22This is very good.
11:23What's this little fish for?
11:24I see a smoked fish.
11:25Guys, Critical Role cooking show win.
11:27The one for this from us?
11:28Okay.
11:29The teeny one.
11:30The teeny one.
11:31Okay.
11:32All right.
11:33Got some tomato.
11:34Tomato brie.
11:35Some brie.
11:36It looks like brie.
11:37It looks like a tiny bit of prosciutto.
11:38Oh, it's like a prosciutto.
11:39And a little bit of dill.
11:40And dill.
11:41Okay, ready?
11:42Cheers.
11:43Cheers.
11:44Mmm.
11:45This is disgusting.
11:46I was expecting something a little tangier, but it's pretty sweet.
11:48There's honey, but there's also chives.
11:49No, the chives are really...
11:50Which is an interesting combo.
11:52It is a journey.
11:53The brie with the sweet is always nice.
11:55I feel like the chives are overpowering a little bit.
11:57I don't get any of the prosciutto that's in there.
11:59I don't either.
12:00It was a very small amount.
12:02It was a very small amount.
12:04It was a little...
12:05The flavor was over quick.
12:06Yeah.
12:07The flavor was predominantly brie with chive.
12:09Would you go back for a second one if the plate came around again?
12:12No.
12:13Wowzers!
12:14100% not.
12:15Y'all are brutal.
12:16Yeah.
12:17I would eat like 10 of those.
12:20Oh, it's soft.
12:22Oh, it's soft.
12:23It's a two-parter.
12:24Some salt?
12:25Mmm.
12:26Mmm.
12:27It's so big.
12:28It's okay.
12:29Mm-hmm.
12:30Smoked salmon.
12:31Softer.
12:32Tastes like a bagel unlocked.
12:33Is there some French on there?
12:34Yeah.
12:35It's definitely stronger.
12:36The flavor's stronger.
12:37I wouldn't say it's just...
12:38No, it's not.
12:39Hmm?
12:40Lies.
12:41Stronger flavor?
12:42Uh-uh.
12:43Oh, no.
12:44Have a pickle.
12:45Your taste is wrong.
12:46I enjoyed that less.
12:47The pancake kind of it up.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Everything was great.
12:50Han kaku messed it up.
12:51Mm-hmm.
12:52You have something in your hair.
12:53Oh.
12:54Ooh!
12:55Evidence.
12:56It is.
12:57It's dill.
13:00I've had dill.
13:02There's also dill in Liam's hair.
13:04Oh.
13:05Wait, so one of them made the front row and the other one made the back.
13:08Yes!
13:09Okay.
13:10I liked the first one better.
13:12But I think Liam made it.
13:13So I'm going to vote for number two.
13:15It's going to be unanimous.
13:17Discuss.
13:18I also prefer the first one.
13:19But Liam made it.
13:21I don't know.
13:22He sure did.
13:23I don't know.
13:24I also vote for the second one because our salmon was arranged in the shape of an A, which
13:27I think was a letter.
13:29But it could have been an L.
13:30I will argue the first one had a more intricate flavor profile, but the second one actually enjoyed
13:34the flavor more.
13:35So I lean towards the second.
13:36Also because Liam made the first one.
13:38Sure.
13:39I wish I had the cracker of the first on the flavor this one.
13:42I want a crunch.
13:43I prefer the first one, the crunch, and the size of the bite.
13:47It was a bit large in the second one.
13:48Yeah.
13:49It was tasty, but it did...
13:50Also.
13:51I feel like...
13:52I feel like...
13:53That's so fair.
13:54I need a winner.
13:55Travis, what was your vote?
13:56Row two.
13:57Because Liam.
13:59What if row one is Ashley, though?
14:02You don't know.
14:03It's not.
14:04It's not.
14:05I vote one.
14:06I vote one.
14:07Wait, so we got three ones and three twos?
14:09We're all on three.
14:10Okay.
14:11All right, on three?
14:12Yeah.
14:13One, two.
14:14So you win.
14:15Two.
14:16So two is the winner.
14:17Two is the winner.
14:18Which one was the winner?
14:19Which one was the winner?
14:20Number two.
14:22This was a really good win.
14:26Liam is eliminated.
14:28My plan since the moment the wine came out was just to be a wine mom, and I stuck to that
14:33plan, and I consider this a win.
14:36Okay.
14:37Where's the bottle?
14:38What?
14:39Hey!
14:40This feels a little bittersweet.
14:48It feels kind of a little like a dirty win.
14:52Hearing your critiques in real time about your food is, I don't know if I'd recommend
14:57it.
14:58But I'm really glad I won.
15:00Yay!
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