00:00That is the sky!
00:03If my brother is out, how would it be?
00:05How much money can I buy?
00:07Are you going to buy money?
00:08I'm not going to buy money.
00:10Will my brother buy money?
00:30In this family, I felt like an afterthought.
00:32The spotlight always belonged to him.
00:34The day he played the piano at the school auditorium, I huddled in the shadows of the audience.
00:39When the crowd erupted in cheers, I snuck a glance at my parents.
00:42Their faces were beaming with pride.
00:44After the performance, my dad took the stage and talked a big game.
00:47Hard work doesn't guarantee success, but laziness always leads to failure.
00:50His words hit me like a ton of bricks.
00:52Waves of grievance and resentment surged inside me.
00:55I'd worked just as hard, day in and day out.
00:57But I was like a dim star, flickering my hardest, yet no one ever noticed.
01:01Later, when my dad was chatting with the principal,
01:03the principal mentioned that keeping a diary helps kids with their language skills.
01:06Dad turned to my brother right away.
01:08You should start a diary too. Show it to us when you're done.
01:10I stood in the corner, poured a glass of water for mom,
01:13hoping just for a second that they'd acknowledge me.
01:15Mom, you have a cup of water.
01:17Aww, thank you, Gitae.
01:19But on the way home, Dad said coldly,
01:22A glass of water, a cup.
01:24Don't speak English.
01:26Wow, sorry.
01:28His words cut me to the core, sharp as a knife.
01:31I've been secretly hoping for a little praise,
01:33but all I got was disappointment.
01:35That night, they fought again.
01:36Mom had donated 100,000 yuan to the school,
01:40but hadn't put Dad's name on the donation list.
01:42You're so good, right?
01:43Remember!
01:45Remember!
01:46This house's all I bought!
01:49No!
01:50You don't want to live again,
01:52I'll let you go!
01:54I hid under the covers, trembling with fear,
01:56until Dad pulled the covers off and tore up my favorite comic book.
01:59Look at the movie?
02:01Look at the movie?
02:03Look at the movie!
02:04Look at the movie!
02:05Look at the movie!
02:06In that moment,
02:07felt like my soul was being shredded into pieces.
02:09Dad always had unrealistic expectations of me,
02:12and with my brother being so perfect,
02:14I felt like an ugly duckling.
02:15No matter how hard I tried,
02:16I could never measure up.
02:17The pressure was suffocating.
02:19I'd sneak up to the rooftop alone and scream at the top of my lungs,
02:22trying to let out all the pain inside.
