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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Christmas when I was a little girl. So long ago, I can barely remember it.
00:00:05If you ask me, it's a stupid holiday. The decorations, the presents, family. No, thank you.
00:00:15Who needs the headache? Everyone says Christmas is a time for love.
00:00:21Anything can happen. I always thought that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard.
00:00:25Well, that was until I met him. I met the man of my dreams. It's a crazy story, and you probably
00:00:37wouldn't believe it if it didn't happen to you, but it's true. It all started a few weeks before Christmas.
00:00:55Who's office is this?
00:01:11And why the hell am I naked?
00:01:12Did we?
00:01:29We did, didn't we?
00:01:35Peppermint latte.
00:01:37Thanks.
00:01:38I don't remember anything.
00:01:46Nothing?
00:01:48No.
00:01:48Well, who's office is this?
00:02:07Who cares?
00:02:07Oh, yeah. Yeah, that seems about right.
00:02:26You want to tell it all, or?
00:02:28Oh, no. Thank you.
00:02:33Who are you?
00:02:36Who are you?
00:02:37He saved me.
00:02:58I'm mad.
00:02:59Oh, my God, Daphne, you are such a slut.
00:03:12You, um, screwed the janitor?
00:03:18A janitor?
00:03:19Wait until your fiancé finds out about this.
00:03:23Your fiancé?
00:03:25I told you we broke up.
00:03:27Remember, Mona?
00:03:27He was too good for you.
00:03:31Well, if you like him so much, then you can have him.
00:03:34He's all yours.
00:03:37Billy.
00:03:38That is my property.
00:03:40Well, it's illegal to film someone without their consent in Massachusetts.
00:03:43You're lucky that I don't sue you for assault.
00:03:47Okay, just go, Mona.
00:03:49Wait till Daddy hears about this.
00:03:56Sorry.
00:03:56About that.
00:03:59Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life.
00:04:03What?
00:04:07Okay.
00:04:13You're probably hungry.
00:04:16Um, if you want to get something to eat, breakfast.
00:04:23Oh, so I'm actually not the good.
00:04:25I really just need to run, and we should probably get out of whoever's office this is, so.
00:04:33Can I get your number?
00:04:36Um, I think maybe it's best if we just leave it like this.
00:04:44At least let me say goodbye.
00:04:45At least let me say goodbye.
00:04:45At least let me say goodbye.
00:05:45Are you coming?
00:05:53Oh, no.
00:05:53I'll catch the next one.
00:05:56Wouldn't want you right around with trash.
00:05:59Right.
00:06:01I didn't actually get your name.
00:06:04Yeah.
00:06:05Maybe it's best we keep it that way.
00:06:06Yeah.
00:06:11Merry Christmas, Miss Morgan.
00:06:17Hey, boss.
00:06:18How was the party?
00:06:19It was, uh...
00:06:21It was interesting.
00:06:23The new numbers.
00:06:24And, oh, we got a tip from that new marketing firm.
00:06:27They want to ramp up production on the Destructo action figure for Christmas next year.
00:06:30Yeah, Tim, so change of plans for today.
00:06:32I need you to find out everything you can about a woman named Daphne Morgan.
00:06:35She works in the building.
00:06:37Whatever you need, boss.
00:06:39And, uh, the helicopter is ready whenever.
00:06:42Great.
00:06:42Thanks, Tim.
00:06:50What do you mean he's on vacation with his family?
00:06:53I don't make merry at Christmastime, and I cannot afford to make other people merry.
00:06:59Just get his ass back here.
00:07:01This is a multi-million dollar company, and we do not take fucking holidays!
00:07:08Cocksucker!
00:07:09Oh, my God, Daddy, you're...
00:07:10Just stop talking.
00:07:12What is this nonsense I hear about Daphne breaking off the engagement with Kaylin?
00:07:16She's saying they're over.
00:07:18What?
00:07:19If she doesn't get married by Christmas, then my nipple-dick brother-in-law gets the company.
00:07:24Okay, well, she's literally fucking the janitor as we speak.
00:07:27What?
00:07:27I know.
00:07:27I don't have time for this shit.
00:07:29Hey, Morgans.
00:07:31Oh, hello, Caleb.
00:07:33My mom baked these gingerbread cookies.
00:07:35Thought I'd bring some for the big guy.
00:07:37We can get them back together.
00:07:40Just get Daphne here.
00:07:42Okay, I'll get her here.
00:07:44But let me do my work.
00:07:46What are you guys talking about?
00:07:50Just go.
00:07:52No.
00:07:53The destructor action figure is the only one that is working.
00:07:56So, everything else, we're going to pull the plug and tell our mysterious client, Mr.
00:08:00C, to make better toys.
00:08:04Mm-hmm.
00:08:05Great.
00:08:06Let's go ahead and get started.
00:08:07If we work through these holidays, then we can get a head's drive for next year.
00:08:14Guys, come on.
00:08:16This is what we do, okay?
00:08:18Come on.
00:08:18I know that it's Christmas, and I'm sorry, but if we have to work, then we just have to work.
00:08:24That's how this goes.
00:08:28Hey.
00:08:31It's your dad.
00:08:32Tell him to stop calling me.
00:08:33I'm not your goddamn assistant anymore.
00:08:35Give me my phone back later.
00:08:41Excuse me.
00:08:44Dad, hey.
00:08:45I am a little busy right now.
00:08:48Daphne, my office.
00:08:50Now.
00:08:50Dad, you can't talk to me like that, okay?
00:08:52My office.
00:08:53And see, when you talk to me like that, it makes me sound like I don't.
00:08:56You're marrying Caleb, and that's the end of it.
00:09:06Dad, I'm not going to marry him.
00:09:08Daphne, it's for your own good.
00:09:10If you don't marry him, we lose this company.
00:09:14I'm not marrying him.
00:09:16Then everything your mother has worked for just goes away.
00:09:20Come on, Daphne.
00:09:21Look, I made a mistake.
00:09:22I messed up.
00:09:24Please.
00:09:25Give me another chance.
00:09:27Aw.
00:09:28Give him another chance, Daphne.
00:09:31Please.
00:09:32Caleb.
00:09:33I'm never going to marry you.
00:09:35And I don't want to hear any of you talk about this ever again.
00:09:40Daphne.
00:09:41Daphne.
00:09:42Do not walk away when I'm talking to you.
00:09:46Daphne.
00:09:55Oh, hey, boss.
00:10:03I got what you asked for.
00:10:05Turns out that Daphne Morgan is the CEO of Cambridge Group, the new marketing firm we hired for the action figure valuations.
00:10:11Right.
00:10:12Her father is the vice president, and the stepmother is on the board.
00:10:17Well, that makes us interesting.
00:10:19Great work, Tim.
00:10:21Uh, how long are you going to keep doing this employee swap program, sir?
00:10:26The partners are getting nervous.
00:10:30I said I'd finish the week as a janitor, didn't I?
00:10:32I'm going to finish.
00:10:38Ho, ho, ho.
00:10:39Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:10:43I, it's you again.
00:10:49It's you again.
00:10:55How's, um, mopping going?
00:11:00Uh, it's, it's going great.
00:11:03How am I doing?
00:11:05Well, it's still pretty dirty.
00:11:09You look beautiful.
00:11:23Can I ask you something crazy?
00:11:26Well, I'd have to hear how crazy.
00:11:29Marry me.
00:11:30Just for a year, and I'll pay you for your time.
00:11:36Get married?
00:11:37You don't even know my name.
00:11:41Well, there's plenty of time for that.
00:11:43Come on, just live dangerously.
00:11:45Say yes.
00:11:46Okay, yeah.
00:11:48Uh, when?
00:11:50Um, now.
00:11:53Yeah, yeah, right now.
00:11:54Let's go.
00:11:54Come on.
00:11:55Come on.
00:11:55You have no idea how much you're helping me with this.
00:12:12Anytime.
00:12:13Okay, well, I guess that's it.
00:12:20Um, I'll pay you $50,000 a month, and you just have to pretend to be my husband for a year.
00:12:26Well, we actually don't have to pretend.
00:12:31We are, Mary.
00:12:34Right.
00:12:36I mean, like, dinner parties, uh, events.
00:12:41You just have to act the part.
00:12:43Nobody can know that this is fake.
00:12:45Okay.
00:12:46I think I can do that.
00:12:48Okay.
00:12:49Well, keep your ringer on.
00:12:55Yeah.
00:13:05No, you may not have a yacht for Christmas.
00:13:08Why?
00:13:09I want a 50-foot one.
00:13:10That's it.
00:13:11Because we don't do Christmas.
00:13:13We'll talk about this later.
00:13:15Look, I understand you guys aren't really the whole holiday kind of family, but who doesn't
00:13:20love a hot cup of tot?
00:13:22Am I right?
00:13:22Oh, you are such a doll.
00:13:24Isn't he a doll, Bella?
00:13:25Yeah, he is.
00:13:30Hmm.
00:13:32You changed your mind yet?
00:13:34No.
00:13:35No, I'm still never going to marry him.
00:13:37Daphne, don't be a damn fool.
00:13:40We're out of time.
00:13:41You need to marry Caleb now.
00:13:43But that, even if I wanted to, I couldn't.
00:13:47Why the hell not?
00:13:48Because I'm already married.
00:13:51Sorry, what?
00:13:52What the fuck?
00:13:53Who the hell did you marry?
00:13:55Give me that.
00:13:57Okay, who the hell is Ashton Cunningham?
00:14:01Oh, my God.
00:14:02Oh, my God.
00:14:03It's the janitor, isn't it?
00:14:04You dirty bitch.
00:14:05The what?
00:14:08You married the fucking janitor.
00:14:11Daphne, if this is true, you may have jeopardized the entire company.
00:14:16Don't worry about the company.
00:14:18It's all going to be mine Christmas Day anyway.
00:14:20You married the janitor, baby.
00:14:22Ew, don't call me baby.
00:14:24Daphne, do not make me destroy you, because I will.
00:14:28Divorce that boy now, and I'll forget that this ever happened.
00:14:33Look, like I said, company is going to be fine, so you don't have to worry.
00:14:40And you all can have a great rest of your night.
00:14:43Ouch.
00:14:44Daphne!
00:14:45Present.
00:15:13Present.
00:15:14It's beautiful, right?
00:15:28Hey.
00:15:30What's up?
00:15:34I have to tell you something.
00:15:36Okay, what's up?
00:15:38Wait, can you first help me get this right?
00:15:40Ah, yeah.
00:15:42I'm sweating like a roofer in July.
00:15:44Okay, go.
00:15:46Oh.
00:15:48Okay, okay, you're good, you're good.
00:15:50Oh, yeah, there it is.
00:15:52Okay, what is it?
00:15:54I got married.
00:15:56You got married.
00:15:58I got married.
00:16:00Okay, um...
00:16:02To whom?
00:16:04Well...
00:16:06Uh...
00:16:08Daphne.
00:16:10Okay, uh...
00:16:12Yeah, well, um...
00:16:13The, uh...
00:16:14The janitor.
00:16:15Hmm.
00:16:16The janitor.
00:16:17I mean, one of the...
00:16:18Janitors.
00:16:19One of the janitors.
00:16:20Okay.
00:16:21What the hell are you talking about?
00:16:23I don't know.
00:16:24I mean, he's a janitor, and I felt bad.
00:16:26It's Christmas, and everyone's celebrating.
00:16:27You should be celebrating, too.
00:16:29Are you gay, little girl?
00:16:31Did you bump your head onto something?
00:16:33That one.
00:16:35That one.
00:16:39It's just an arrangement.
00:16:41Simply the business so that I can inherit the company.
00:16:46You can't say anything to anyone.
00:16:48If Brad Pitt fucked George Clooney, he would come out.
00:16:53We will not be able to return these Santa Claus pants.
00:17:00You'll have to pretend that it's real, okay?
00:17:02Just...
00:17:03For now.
00:17:05I mean...
00:17:06I say go for it, girl.
00:17:08I'd fuck a serial killer if he looks like that.
00:17:11Damn.
00:17:12Hey, thanks for always having my back.
00:17:15That's what I'm here for.
00:17:17Okay.
00:17:18Time to be Santa.
00:17:20Why do you do this every year?
00:17:22The whole Santa thing.
00:17:24I mean, Christmas is such a stupid holiday.
00:17:27Okay, Daphne, I'm sick of hearing this every year.
00:17:30I know you've been through a lot.
00:17:33But Christmas is a special time of the year.
00:17:37It's about family.
00:17:39It's about love.
00:17:41It's magical.
00:17:43Anything can happen.
00:17:47Okay.
00:17:49Let's do this.
00:17:53How do I look?
00:17:56Hot.
00:17:57Exactly.
00:17:59Okay.
00:18:00I'm actually late.
00:18:01I gotta go.
00:18:02Don't fuck the janitor before I come.
00:18:03I'll see you later.
00:18:04Bye.
00:18:05Bye.
00:18:06You know, we could really use your help with this, Caleb.
00:18:19The company's future's at stake.
00:18:21I'll fix this, Mr. Morgan.
00:18:23I promise.
00:18:24I love your daughter very much.
00:18:26You're a fine young man.
00:18:28Thank you, sir.
00:18:29How long do I have to keep up this shitty nice guy act?
00:18:38It's so fucking boring.
00:18:40I just wanna go with Mykonos.
00:18:42Me too.
00:18:43But just a little bit longer.
00:18:45Okay?
00:18:46We'll get her back.
00:18:47We'll marry her.
00:18:48Then we get all the money.
00:18:51All of it.
00:18:53Yeah.
00:18:54I'll get her back.
00:18:56She still loves me, I can tell.
00:18:58It's pathetic.
00:19:00Well, I need you to do one more thing for me.
00:19:03Yeah?
00:19:04I need you to look into that janitor.
00:19:06Ashton Cunningham.
00:19:09Anything for you, babe.
00:19:10Thanks.
00:19:25Sorry, boss.
00:19:26You needed something?
00:19:29Thanks.
00:19:34Okay, look.
00:19:35Don't freak out.
00:19:37But I got married yesterday.
00:19:38What?
00:19:40Yeah, and she doesn't exactly know who I am.
00:19:45Oh, boss.
00:19:46That...
00:19:47I know, I know.
00:19:48I'm gonna tell her.
00:19:50But I have to be delicate about it.
00:19:52And why are you doing this?
00:19:54I just...
00:19:56I want her to have a good holiday.
00:19:58Feels like she has an eye on her walk.
00:20:00Okay.
00:20:01I guess I'll play along.
00:20:03You're married now.
00:20:05Congratulations.
00:20:06Hi.
00:20:13Hello?
00:20:14Hey.
00:20:15Put on something that isn't a janitor's uniform, okay?
00:20:18I'm gonna take you somewhere.
00:20:21Uh...
00:20:22Okay.
00:20:23Uh...
00:20:24You, uh...
00:20:25You going somewhere, boss?
00:20:26I guess I'm off to see the missus.
00:20:27Thanks for the sport.
00:20:28Just keep my deepest, darkest secrets for me, Tim.
00:20:29Sure thing, boss.
00:20:30I'm sorry.
00:20:31My only day vacation to Cabo started ten minutes ago.
00:20:32We are closed.
00:20:33Oh...
00:20:34It's Mrs. Morgan!
00:20:35I'm sorry.
00:20:36I did not know it was you.
00:20:37Uh...
00:20:38How can I help you?
00:20:39I have an emergency.
00:20:40Oh!
00:20:41Monsieur!
00:20:42Monsieur!
00:20:43Monsieur Cunningham!
00:20:44I'm such a klutz.
00:20:45You don't know what I have done?
00:20:46I have an emergency.
00:20:47Oh!
00:20:48Monsieur!
00:20:49Monsieur!
00:20:50Monsieur Cunningham!
00:20:51I'm such a klutz.
00:20:52You don't know what I have done?
00:20:53Uh...
00:20:54I...
00:20:55It's okay.
00:20:56I will clean this up later, dark, beautiful stranger.
00:20:58Um...
00:20:59So, what can I do?
00:21:00Do you think you could help us out?
00:21:01Um...
00:21:02I'm sorry.
00:21:03I did not know what I have done.
00:21:04Uh...
00:21:05I'm sorry.
00:21:06I did not know it was you.
00:21:07Uh...
00:21:08How can I help you?
00:21:09Uh...
00:21:10I'm...
00:21:11I'm...
00:21:12I'm...
00:21:13I'm sorry.
00:21:14I did not know it was you.
00:21:15Uh...
00:21:16How...
00:21:17How can I help you?
00:21:18I have an emergency.
00:21:19Oh!
00:21:20Monsieur!
00:21:21Monsieur Cunningham!
00:21:22For you, anything?
00:21:24Well...
00:21:25You're the best.
00:21:30I...
00:21:31I do not understand.
00:21:32Is this a game?
00:21:33Or is this a...
00:21:34Yeah.
00:21:35Let's play games.
00:21:36Okay.
00:21:37I like games.
00:21:38Yeah.
00:21:39Let's go.
00:21:52Oh, Daphne.
00:21:53You sure?
00:21:54I can afford that.
00:21:55Yes.
00:21:56If you're going to look like my husband, you do need those.
00:22:11Okay.
00:22:12Well...
00:22:13Still feel bad about it.
00:22:14You gotta let me pay you back at some point.
00:22:16No.
00:22:17No.
00:22:18You are helping me out so much.
00:22:19The least that I can do is buy you a few nice things.
00:22:21Oh, it's Monsieur Marley.
00:22:22I will have your suit for you in just a minute.
00:22:23Perfect service.
00:22:25Hi, Daphne.
00:22:26So this must be your new husband.
00:22:27Handsome guy.
00:22:28Yeah, he is.
00:22:29Caleb Marley.
00:22:30Fashton Cunningham.
00:22:31Pleasure.
00:22:32Are you following me?
00:22:33I know.
00:22:34You are helping me out so much.
00:22:35The least that I can do is buy you a few nice things.
00:22:37Oh, it's Monsieur Marley.
00:22:40I will have your suit for you in just a minute.
00:22:42Perfect service.
00:22:44Hi, Daphne.
00:22:46So this must be your new husband.
00:22:49Handsome guy.
00:22:51Yeah, he is.
00:22:52Caleb Marley.
00:22:54Fashton Cunningham.
00:22:56Pleasure.
00:22:57Are you following me?
00:23:00What?
00:23:01Oh, God.
00:23:02No, I'm collecting my suit for the charity event.
00:23:06Right.
00:23:07Sorry.
00:23:08My family is driving me crazy.
00:23:11I hear that.
00:23:13Oh.
00:23:14I didn't hear you.
00:23:16Oh, your suit.
00:23:17Absolutely perfect.
00:23:18Thank you, Serge.
00:23:20Look, I thought I'd be so jealous, but it's just really nice to see you happy.
00:23:25I mean that.
00:23:26Thank you, Caleb.
00:23:27Look, I'm going to head out, but it's lovely to see you and pleasure, Ashton.
00:23:31Take care.
00:23:32Hey.
00:23:33I want to take you somewhere.
00:23:35Ashton.
00:23:36Take care.
00:23:37Hey.
00:23:38I want to take you somewhere.
00:23:42I just kidding.
00:23:43I just kidding.
00:23:44I'm not really.
00:23:45I just kidding.
00:23:46I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:23:47Come on.
00:23:48I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:23:49Come on.
00:23:50It'll be fun.
00:23:51Where is everybody?
00:23:52I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:23:56Come on.
00:23:57Where is everybody?
00:23:58I went to high school with the owner.
00:23:59I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:24:01Come on.
00:24:02I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:24:03Come on.
00:24:04It'll be fun.
00:24:05Where is everybody?
00:24:06I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:24:07I'm not really into all the holiday stuff.
00:24:09Come on.
00:24:10It'll be fun.
00:24:12Well, where is everybody?
00:24:14I went to high school with the owner.
00:24:15What's wrong?
00:24:16You don't know what to escape?
00:24:18It's been a while for me, too.
00:24:20I'm not.
00:24:21I'm not.
00:24:22You're not.
00:24:23I'm not.
00:24:24What's wrong?
00:24:30You don't know how to escape?
00:24:33It's been a while for me, too.
00:24:36But I'll show you.
00:24:48No, thanks, Gary.
00:24:50That's okay.
00:24:51Don't dare drop me, okay?
00:24:53Never.
00:24:54Remember, just one foot in front of the other.
00:24:57Bend your knees.
00:24:59Okay, ready?
00:25:00Ready for what?
00:25:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:25:03Don't let me go, no, no, no, no.
00:25:04Fuck, fuck.
00:25:08I'm fucking skating.
00:25:10You're doing great.
00:25:12Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
00:25:13I'm gonna go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:25:33Uh, Katsuhisha?
00:25:35Yeah.
00:25:36I've heard they have the best sushi in town, but it's impossible to get a table here.
00:25:41Looks pretty expensive.
00:25:43Maybe we can go somewhere else.
00:25:44What? No.
00:25:45Do you have any idea how hard it was to get in here? Come on.
00:25:50Mr. Conning, it's great to see you again.
00:25:55You guys know each other?
00:25:58He...
00:25:59I used to...
00:26:00I used to...
00:26:03I'm on my lawn.
00:26:08Oh, so you...
00:26:09I used to do landscaping on the side.
00:26:15Yes, yes, you did.
00:26:17Please, come inside, this way.
00:26:26I...
00:26:27I used to do landscaping on the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of the side of
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