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Falling for the Help shortmintz
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Transcript
00:00Um, champagne, please.
00:30Hey, you okay?
00:33Yeah, I think so.
00:34Come on, you got what you wanted.
00:36Let yourself have it.
00:37Don't worry.
00:38Jupiter is going to get you, too.
00:40We'll see.
00:46Sweetie, I know you're nervous, but Ella is the picture-perfect bride.
00:52Trust me.
00:53Yes, Mother.
00:54You're always right.
01:00Look at us.
01:10We seem like the perfect couple.
01:14I now pronounce you man and wife.
01:16You may now kiss your bride.
01:18My dad used to say love was for rich folks, and girls like me just had to marry up and pray for the best.
01:25So I did.
01:30Hey, there.
01:37Hey, just a sec, babe.
01:39Um, wow.
01:42You look damn.
01:45Watch it.
01:46I'm a married woman.
01:48Your husband's a lucky man.
01:49I'm sorry, babe.
01:56I actually just got a text from work, and shit at the van in Hong Kong.
02:01What do you mean?
02:02It's our wedding night.
02:03It's not like it's the first time for anything.
02:06What am I supposed to do?
02:07I don't know, babe.
02:08It's a beach house.
02:09Enjoy a vacation.
02:10I don't want to stay here alone.
02:12You won't be.
02:13I heard a butler.
02:15Darren.
02:16He's going to watch over everything while I'm gone.
02:17Who the hell is Darren?
02:18Uh, Dylan, actually.
02:21Oh my god.
02:22Um, sir.
02:25Madame.
02:26The bartender?
02:27Actually, a personal trainer and serve instructor.
02:30I also make a main grilled cheese.
02:33Okay, I don't need a butler.
02:34I need my husband.
02:35It's our honeymoon.
02:37It'll just be for a couple days.
02:39You'll be fine, babe.
02:39Good luck.
02:46Anything you need, I'm at your service.
02:52So, do you want, like, a grilled cheese, or?
02:54I'm okay.
02:55Okay.
02:55Oh, yeah.
02:55I was done crying.
03:00I could mope, or I could tan.
03:03I picked tan.
03:04I thought her lady should might enjoy some champagne.
03:30Yeah, sure.
03:39Would you like me to feed you some grapes, you lady?
03:42I can feed myself, thank you.
03:44Why are you thinking like that?
03:47According to Google, a butler must dress the woman of the house with respect, kind words,
03:53and the British accent.
03:54Yeah, no.
03:55And may I ask what to lift the get-up?
04:01Rule number two, dress of dignity.
04:03It's going to be hot as hell today.
04:06Yeah, you're right.
04:08Screw it.
04:11That was hot.
04:25Anything I can get for you?
04:38Pina colada, pull-aside massage, all of the above?
04:42I need to get out of the house.
04:43I love God!
05:04Did you get it? Did you get that?
05:11Don't laugh at me
05:13Okay, hell of an arm
05:21I'm the ski ball champion of Lubbock
05:24I didn't take you as a Texas girl
05:26Born and raised
05:27That explains a lot
05:31How about you?
05:33You're looking at the top dog surfer, Malibu
05:35Thank you very much
05:36Oh wow, I didn't realize I was in the presence of royalty
05:39So how does one go from L.A. surfer boy
05:42to beach house butler?
05:44I have a confession
05:45This is my first time butler
05:48You don't say
05:50Alright
05:51Oh
06:00Eat that butler
06:02Cheers
06:07Okay, your turn
06:12Favorite man
06:14Easy, Fleetwood Mac
06:14Oh, okay
06:17Thank God
06:17I would have taken you as more of like a
06:19One direction kind of girl
06:20Okay
06:21Guilty pleasure
06:23Bubble baths
06:27Come on
06:28I'm sorry
06:29They're delightful
06:30You?
06:32Um
06:32Strawberry pop tarts
06:34Alright
06:35Alright
06:35The culinary masterpiece
06:37Take it
06:38Mm-hmm
06:38This place is amazing
06:47I always dreamed of opening a spot of just like this
06:50Why don't you
06:52Why don't you?
06:52My boy Simon and I
06:54We opened a surf shop
06:55All good vibes
06:56No business plan
06:58And it tanked
06:59But I did learn one important lesson
07:01Not all dreams come true
07:03That doesn't sound like the top dog of Malibu to roll over and give up on his dreams
07:08Cheers
07:09Cheers
07:10Another round of skeeball?
07:13Only if you're ready for me to whoop your ass again
07:15Alright, whatever you say
07:17Let's go
07:17Oh my god, what are you doing here?
07:27Um
07:27Wow
07:32I get it now
07:35Take your time
07:37Enjoy
07:38And I'll be downstairs cooking some dinner
07:41Okay
07:47Prepare the guilty pleasure for you
07:59Madame
08:00You're so tensulating
08:16Yes?
08:36Dinner is served
08:38Uh, thank you
08:40I'll be right back
08:41Hey girl
08:52How's it going with the hot butler?
08:54Can you come here before I do something I regret?
08:57You have nothing to feel guilty about
08:59He left you on your wedding night
09:01Enjoy yourself
09:03Seriously
09:04What was that?
09:11Your wife
09:12Oh my god
09:22That was amazing
09:23I just hate sharing you
09:32Baby
09:33Ella and me
09:35That's just optics
09:37A bride picked by buddy
09:39You're the real thing
09:41After the inheritance kicks in
09:44I'll leave Ella
09:46And then it's just you and me
09:48Okay
09:50Of course
09:52I'll have to play husband for a little while
09:57Fundraisers, family portraits
10:00Holidays
10:02Boring marriage shit
10:04Like that
10:05I never considered holidays
10:08I can't bring my mistress to buddy's holiday brunch
10:13I'm no side dish
10:17I think
10:18Where are you going?
10:22To take back what's mine
10:24This is your house
10:27Your table awaits
10:37Voila
10:42Sandwich à la fromage
10:45Oh, marvellous
10:47Bon appétit
10:49What about you?
10:50I am a butler
10:53Butlers don't eat?
10:55No, you buttle
10:56Join me
10:58I can't
10:59Rule number seven
11:00A butler must never die
11:01I'm sure that rule number one
11:03Says a butler must never refuse a direct order
11:05Touche
11:07For you
11:11Oh, thank you
11:12I was hungry
11:13Cheers
11:1410 out of 10, huh?
11:18Pretty good
11:19Sorry, I was probably not talking to my mouth for
11:21Try me
11:28I thought you said you played baseball
11:31I got kicked off the team from mooning the umpire
11:33Okay, I'll show you how it's done
11:35Oh
11:36You just keep on impressing me
11:38Wait, that's what impresses you?
11:40Wait till you see me with the cherry stem
11:41So I'm in this pool
11:45Trying to wrangle this dolphin
11:47That's freaking out
11:48But cute as hell
11:49Hold up, you seemed a dolphin?
11:52Okay, Aquaman
11:53That's awesome
11:54Tell the dolphin
11:56She bit me
11:57Oh, well at least you were there to help
11:59Sometimes the only thing you can do
12:03Is be there for someone
12:04Well, sometimes people say they'll be there
12:06And then they're not
12:07I don't mean to cross any lines
12:13Being left alone
12:16On your wedding night
12:18That isn't okay
12:19Well, I wasn't left alone
12:22I have my fake butler
12:23So
12:24If you were my wife
12:29I can't imagine
12:31Wanting to be anywhere else but here
12:33With you
12:35Well, you're not like other men
12:39I'm just a
12:40Fake butler trying my best
12:43I'm glad I met you, Ella
12:47I'm really glad I met you too, Dylan
12:50I remember the first time I saw you, actually
12:53Champagne, please
13:00You downed that wine like a frat boy chugging beer
13:07You want to know what I remember most about my wedding day?
13:18Right before I was about to go out
13:20I'm thinking
13:22Why am I doing this?
13:28And?
13:29What was your answer?
13:31My parents were basically kids
13:33When they had me
13:34High school sweethearts who
13:37Wouldn't have made it past prom
13:38If my mom hadn't have gotten knocked up
13:40And after mom left
13:44Dad used to always say
13:48You want happiness?
13:50Marry rich
13:51He seems right
13:53Look around you
13:53You got it all
13:55Then why am I alone on my honeymoon?
14:01You're not alone
14:02I'm here alone
14:04I know
14:07But I should be with my husband
14:10Serenade, my lady?
14:22What would you like?
14:24Mozart's Symphony No. 25?
14:27Sure
14:27Okay
14:28Incredible
14:42I'm available for weddings, funerals
14:45And apartments
14:46Thanks for that
14:48If you weren't married
14:57If you weren't married
14:57Would you let me kiss you right now?
15:04Don't ask me that
15:05Sorry
15:09I need to get somewhere
15:11There was a calm before the storm
15:21And for the first time
15:23I wasn't thinking about Leo
15:25Ella
15:31Ella
15:31Wake up
15:33There's a huge storm
15:35We gotta get to safety
15:35Come on
15:37Hey
15:54It's alright
15:56The closet's the safest place
15:58starting to storm
15:59I googled it
16:01Wrapped in his arms
16:10I'd never felt safer
16:12The house could have blown away
16:15And I wouldn't have moved
16:17What?
16:20Huh?
16:371
16:402
16:402
16:412
16:413
16:411
16:423
16:453
16:454
16:47Stop. You're married.
17:16Good morning.
17:17I prepared your breakfast.
17:19I don't really do breakfast.
17:26Oh, no way.
17:30You said they're your favorite, so.
17:38Listen, about last night, I...
17:42Thank you so much for taking care of me.
17:45I'm sorry.
17:46I was such a mess.
17:46It's honestly a blur.
17:50It was...
17:51It was wrong.
18:00Surprise!
18:01Oh, my God.
18:07I'm so glad you guys are here.
18:17Of course.
18:18We couldn't leave our girl stranded on her honeymoon.
18:21Especially now with that fine-ass belt.
18:25I thought I had called in my besties for backup.
18:29Turns out they had plans of their own.
18:31Uh, hey there.
18:38Mmm, Sauvignon Blanc.
18:41Mmm, can I have a glass?
18:42Mmm.
18:43Mmm.
18:44Cute couple, huh?
18:47Got to give it to her.
18:50She made all the right moves from living in a trailer park to marrying a billionaire.
18:55He looks even better walking away.
19:05Cool it.
19:06He's a nice guy.
19:07I bet you didn't know this, but he saves dolphins.
19:09Oh.
19:10You little...
19:12Something already happened between you two, didn't it?
19:18Nothing happened.
19:19He was just really nice to me last night.
19:25That's all.
19:27You must be nice.
19:29And that's it.
19:38I'm calling bullshit.
19:41Okay, maybe we kiss a little.
19:44How little?
19:47You're married now, Ella.
19:49Uh, that's...
19:50That nothing happened.
19:51It's...
19:52It's nothing.
19:53It wasn't nothing.
19:58Yum.
19:59Looks delicious.
20:01You like it.
20:02It's a new dish.
20:06Do you want a snack?
20:12Definitely.
20:17Come on.
20:19Hello?
20:20Are you thirsty?
20:32There's like five different kinds of water in the fridge.
20:34Anything you want.
20:37All right.
20:38Um...
20:38I'll be back with those.
20:40What exactly is going on between you and the butler?
20:53We had a connection.
20:55You saw it.
20:56You're just mad he's not into you.
20:57Sweetie.
20:59He's into Ella.
21:01Ella gets everything.
21:03The rich husband.
21:04The gorgeous house.
21:05Maybe she doesn't get the hot butler, too.
21:06Ella always gets what she wants.
21:11He's good enough for Ella.
21:11He's good enough for me.
21:13They're made for each other.
21:16I see what you're doing.
21:18You're trying to get Ella to cheat.
21:25You are literally insane.
21:26If she cheats, it makes you feel better about fucking her husband.
21:34Yeah.
21:34Funny seeing you here.
21:46Listen.
21:47About last night.
21:48It was what?
21:50It was a mistake.
21:53Well...
21:54There's the wine and the storm and you're so...
21:58Sweet.
21:59I feel safe.
22:04Always safe with me.
22:05I'll...
22:06Always.
22:07We shouldn't be doing this.
22:11I know.
22:21No.
22:23I'm married.
22:24Yeah.
22:25Where the hell is he?
22:26Why isn't he here right now?
22:28Did he even try calling you?
22:31Ella.
22:32If he can't see what's in front of him, he doesn't deserve you.
22:36Then what do you want me to do?
22:37Run away with the butler and then what?
22:40Be happy.
22:41I am happy.
22:42A happily married woman doesn't kiss the butler.
22:45That was wrong.
22:45Yeah?
22:48How about this?
22:52Was that wrong?
22:53Hmm?
22:57Yes.
22:58Then I guess this is goodbye.
23:06Wait.
23:07I didn't dismiss you.
23:12Rule nine.
23:14A butler must never leave until the lady of the house has dismissed him.
23:17And you, sir, have not been dismissed.
23:21Just stay.
23:23We'll keep it professional.
23:27That's what her ladyship desires.
23:28Wow.
23:41Wow.
23:41I slept like a rock.
23:43Must be that fresh ocean breeze.
23:46How about you, Al?
23:47Sleep okay?
23:49Sure.
23:49I know I can't sit well when I feel guilty about something.
23:54And I definitely couldn't rest if I was a two-timing adulteress.
23:58Why are you coming at me right now?
24:03Because I like him.
24:04Okay?
24:06I mean, we had a spark.
24:08After I clocked the buffet, excuse me.
24:12Oh, Anastasia.
24:12But every time there's a big guy, Ella swoops in and snatches him.
24:17That is not true.
24:19Ben, what about the Russian DJ in Mykonos?
24:23The pizza boy?
24:25The yacht guy?
24:27Timothy Shaliman!
24:28Oh, for the last time, that guy was not Timothy Shaliman.
24:30You still made out with him in your limo.
24:32Ha, Edda.
24:35Shit.
24:37You're right.
24:39I'm an asshole.
24:42Well, who needs therapy when you got brunch, right?
24:46More mimosas, Butler.
24:48Quickly.
24:54Look at her.
24:55She's practically in heat.
24:57I just keep thinking, poor Theo.
25:03Naomi's plan was simple.
25:05The best way to get Anastasia over Dylan was to get her under someone else.
25:10I'm bored.
25:11I want to have some fun tonight.
25:13You read my friends.
25:16Hey, Butler.
25:18You got any hot friends?
25:20Yes.
25:22Let's get this fucking party started!
25:27Now we're going to have another kid.
25:28Go away!
25:29Woo!
25:29Yeah!
25:30Woo!
25:30Woo!
25:33Woo!
25:49Woo!
25:49you are drooling i am not i mean if i were you i'd have thrown that man against the wall by now
26:11okay something may have happened
26:17no the night of the storm we kiss
26:24and then we may be kissed again that's right
26:35oh baby girl you are in deep okay i mean just the way he looks at you
26:48dude dude you've been like i've been here for like seven minutes what is up with you two
26:57i think she's the woman bro you say that like a couple times a year
27:03no man i mean it like soulmate stuff and shit
27:07okay so what's all about
27:09she's married
27:11and where's her husband
27:14the dirt bag left her the night of her wedding
27:17sounds like it left you an opening
27:20but what about anesthesia
27:22and he has other options
27:25you and anesthesia look after cozy
27:40she is the badly type
27:42oh
27:43then what is your type
27:45huh
27:47smart
27:49funny
27:51smile so beautiful could break a heart
27:55kicks my ass and skee-ball
27:58that's a secret cheerleader style
28:01tell me
28:02i think i'm in love
28:09mind if i join
28:15oh
28:15um
28:17i need to go
28:19no
28:20oh
28:21okay
28:23it's beautiful isn't it
28:30yeah
28:32makes me feel small
28:34insignificant
28:37yeah
28:38in a good way
28:39reminds me that life's short
28:42if you want something
28:45you go for it
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