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FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB (2025) - FULL | Reelshort
FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB (2025) - FULL | Reelshort
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00:00:00Ellen musk the only woman on the forbes 30 under 30 list arrives at atlanta today what a business
00:00:12tycoon is doing here in georgia a forgotten stage no one knows angela my next-door neighbor still
00:00:19selling your hippie junk here if your mother-in-law sees she's gonna throw a big fit again
00:00:24your mother-in-law was right about you what's the point of watching the news all day about these
00:00:31moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self and how do you know that this is none of my
00:00:36business all right everybody get out we got an important guest coming
00:00:43you deaf i said pack up and scram i paid this off here already and if you want me to leave then fine
00:00:56but you have to compensate for today's losses you want to say that again
00:01:01you know who's visiting today ellen freaking musk one of the richest people in the world
00:01:09ellen musk of course a hick like you probably never heard of her just know that you can't
00:01:15afford to piss her off really ellen musk is flying all the way to atlanta just to come to some flea
00:01:22market you don't think that she could be coming to see me
00:01:27coming to see you all right i'll you know what i'll play your game if she does it so much as give
00:01:36you a glance i'll i'll eat dirt deal
00:01:41ellen musk get to the flea market within 10 minutes or else you're fired
00:01:55prepare the limo miss lockhart requires us immediately
00:02:17oh your 10 minutes is almost up good hope you don't wet your pants
00:02:28five four three two one
00:02:38ellen uh i mean miss musk ellen uh i mean uh i'm sorry that i uh sorry to frighten you
00:02:49how's my boss bitch kickin ass girlfriend so how do you like she's my boss
00:02:58uh i prefer business partner or best friend no way
00:03:04well
00:03:08no no no i'm sorry for offending your boss no i won't do it again
00:03:16all right that's enough we're not tyrants here
00:03:22sir i found angela lockhart
00:03:31you mean angela lockhart
00:03:38i run away pride
00:03:40you made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker
00:03:46who are you
00:03:48where is she atlanta and you were right it was secretly her propping up ellen musk
00:03:55my clever bride i will chase you to the end of the world if i have to
00:04:00max prep the jet i'm heading to atlanta
00:04:07atlanta the game is afoot i'm going
00:04:18wait dr wilson the prince of bhutan needs your medical attention
00:04:22he can wait i need to pick up my bride
00:04:24but dr wilson
00:04:31do you know i do not have reporting
00:04:37devin sterling and shane wilson are headed to atlanta
00:04:40atlanta
00:04:42where is that
00:04:44whatever prepare my war plate
00:04:47dosu going after my fiance
00:04:49this is war
00:04:51i've secretly allowed your husband jared cooper to win the bid on the maple plaza project like you asked me to
00:05:12thank you so much ellen
00:05:15this is going to be the best anniversary gift ever
00:05:17that project is worth billions he can finally take his company public
00:05:22but angela
00:05:23my boss
00:05:25i don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity
00:05:31without your backing
00:05:34no offense but he's nothing without you
00:05:37well three years ago
00:05:39you saved me
00:06:01he saved me and
00:06:06i fell in love with him instantly
00:06:08i didn't want to reveal my true identity
00:06:10because i didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress
00:06:14but now with this contract
00:06:18i feel like we'll be on more equal footing
00:06:19and then i can finally come out to the public
00:06:22so that's why you have me secretly helping him
00:06:25i'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out
00:06:31but why work at the flea market
00:06:33are you
00:06:34disguising yourself to test him
00:06:37well these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find
00:06:42plus i get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom
00:06:46you seem happy being a housewife
00:06:49where the hell are you
00:06:53don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again
00:06:57get home stacked
00:06:58it's a big day today
00:07:01that was
00:07:03my mother-in-law carol
00:07:05she judges me because she thinks i come from a lower class family
00:07:09but she's gonna be ecstatic tonight when i finally come out and tell her who i really am
00:07:13you know she even remembered her third year anniversary
00:07:17please spend more time with my son
00:07:25hi i'm home
00:07:28i have a big announcement i have to make
00:07:31finally you're back
00:07:32now sign the divorce papers
00:07:34divorce papers
00:07:38is this some sort of misunderstanding mom
00:07:42oh god
00:07:44don't call me mom again
00:07:46we're ending that relationship
00:07:48just look at you
00:07:49dirt all over
00:07:51you're selling the title of mrs cooper
00:07:53you don't deserve my son
00:07:55you're way below his league
00:07:57i'm below his league
00:08:00that's right
00:08:00you are
00:08:02jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow
00:08:07with the ellen musk
00:08:09and then his company's going public
00:08:11that's how much he's accomplished in three years
00:08:14but you
00:08:15you're still just
00:08:17a stinky hippie peddler
00:08:19jared's like the king in the clouds
00:08:22and you
00:08:23you will always just be a pawn
00:08:27like dirt
00:08:29on our shoes
00:08:32dirt on your shoes
00:08:34but ellen musk works for me
00:08:37you're delusional
00:08:39you will never upgrade to a queen
00:08:42how dare you compare yourself
00:08:44to the real deal here
00:08:46resorting to lies
00:08:49definitely not good enough for jared
00:08:51and
00:08:52who are you
00:08:54to come into my house
00:08:55and meddle with my family matters
00:08:57you're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife
00:09:03jared deserves a queen like kaylee
00:09:07not a low-life dirtbag
00:09:09enough
00:09:10jared
00:09:11i knew you wouldn't divorce me
00:09:14but i am
00:09:16don't fight it angela
00:09:19here's 500k
00:09:21you'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices
00:09:25now sign the papers
00:09:27take a check
00:09:28and leave
00:09:28don't embarrass yourself further
00:09:30i've done so much for you these past three years
00:09:36did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:39i didn't expect you to be so greedy
00:09:41fine
00:09:43here's another 200,000
00:09:45500,000 is too much for her already
00:09:49she's done nothing
00:09:51hasn't even contributed a grandchild
00:09:54she just sells cheap grass all day
00:09:56is that really how much i'm worth to all of you?
00:10:00i took care of both of you these past three years
00:10:04you think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something
00:10:10and she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench
00:10:13a hippie peddler becoming the wife of a ceo?
00:10:18what a joke
00:10:20if you actually love my son
00:10:22you'll sign the damn divorce papers already
00:10:25and leave!
00:10:29you really think that jared would've gotten that mabel plaza bid without me?
00:10:33let alone taking the company public?
00:10:36i did everything for you jared
00:10:39now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:43it's all my work!
00:10:49baby
00:10:51we're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us
00:10:57you did say you would win me princess diana's tiara didn't you?
00:11:02so she's the reason for the divorce
00:11:06she's worth more than you, angela
00:11:09fine, i'll sign it
00:11:15but don't regret it
00:11:17regret?
00:11:19you know who i am?
00:11:21yeah, that cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed
00:11:25i'm eric vanderbilt's only daughter
00:11:30jared winning the bid
00:11:31a maple plaza
00:11:32was because of my dad
00:11:34because he's business partners with ellen musk
00:11:38it's part of the power i have
00:11:41as an elite
00:11:42you can't do shit
00:11:45because you're poor
00:11:46social stratum matters
00:11:48yeah, social stratum does matter
00:11:52and the coopers are beneath me
00:11:56and you really think ellen musk would come to atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:01ha! you're delusional! now sign the papers and SCRAM!
00:12:10you owe me
00:12:11you dirty bitch, you sicken me
00:12:14you hit me
00:12:22now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:43i don't need your petty money
00:12:47we're finished
00:12:49you don't want the money, that's your loss
00:12:52your check is just pennies to me
00:12:55but
00:12:56i would like my ring back
00:13:07have fun
00:13:08on your economy flight
00:13:10while i catch right on my private helicopter out of here
00:13:17and i'm way out of your league
00:13:22isn't that the winston blue diamond ring?
00:13:28it's worth tens of millions of dollars
00:13:31oh, it's probably just cheap glass
00:13:35something she found at the flea market
00:13:37you're right, she could never afford anything so expensive
00:13:41congrats jared boo boo boo on getting rid of that dirt bag
00:13:48oh, my dad says there's gonna be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit
00:13:55bigger big shot than ellen musk?
00:13:58yeah, and nobody's met them, but i can introduce you
00:14:03everything's thanks to you, babe
00:14:05uh, angela? mr vanderbilt, the richest man in georgia wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding
00:14:12vanderbilt?
00:14:13yeah, he's actually ceo of one of our companies
00:14:14basically our employee
00:14:15okay, i'll meet him at the summit tomorrow
00:14:16it's fine
00:14:17well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:14:18but you and jared cooper are already divorced
00:14:19that's exactly why i'm going
00:14:24that's exactly why i'm going
00:14:54angel of our carts
00:15:04i finally found you
00:15:07who is he?
00:15:09that, that's devin sterling
00:15:12he's number one on forbes 30 under 30 list
00:15:15an early investor of crypto
00:15:17ceo of sterling enterprises
00:15:19rumor has it he's worth trillions
00:15:22And he's... your fiancé.
00:15:25What?
00:15:26What?
00:15:26My fiancé?
00:15:28The one and only.
00:15:31So, after running away and leaving me single for three years...
00:15:36Have you figured out how you're gonna make it up to me yet?
00:15:39Babe?
00:15:48That tiara looks perfect on you!
00:15:52What is she doing here?
00:15:59You skank!
00:16:00My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:06Divorced?
00:16:08That's right, so...
00:16:10I guess this was never meant to be...
00:16:12Mr...
00:16:14Sterling.
00:16:15Kevin Sterling.
00:16:18So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:21I guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:23She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:29How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:32Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:35Do you know who I am?
00:16:38They don't know who you are.
00:16:39You hide it, well...
00:16:43X-Team!
00:16:45Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:48Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:54Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:58You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:00Do you mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:08No, I have.
00:17:13Toss these ill-mannered apes out!
00:17:15Oh, you bitch!
00:17:16I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:17:19A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:28No.
00:17:37The guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:39You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet, old money like me.
00:17:44Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:48Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:49Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:52What an honor.
00:17:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:57It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:59Congrats, you'll be next.
00:18:01Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet.
00:18:04We deserve it.
00:18:05Oh, that's nothing.
00:18:06I introduced this kid to Elon Musk.
00:18:08The Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, I'm going to help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Manfield.
00:18:17Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:21Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:26Even wealthier than Elon Musk.
00:18:29Now, if we can just secure a position with his big shot,
00:18:33we can feast for generations.
00:18:38I'll do my best.
00:18:41Excuse me, second, gentlemen.
00:18:47What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:51How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:54Me, a hobo.
00:18:56How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:59You sleep your way in?
00:19:00I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:03Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:06Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:11This is your ex-husband?
00:19:14What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:17Who the hell is this?
00:19:19You were cheating on me?
00:19:19Son, you have to avenge me and Cayley.
00:19:23That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:27They even took Cayley's tiara.
00:19:32Son, you have to avenge me and Cayley.
00:19:35That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:40They even took Cayley's tiara.
00:19:55You dare hurt my mom, Cayley?
00:20:00Get your hands off her.
00:20:01Uh-huh.
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:21My queen.
00:20:23Hi.
00:20:24It's...
00:20:34It's him!
00:20:36He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:20:39Who are these peasants?
00:20:41These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:20:46Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:50You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:54Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:55That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:57You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:00His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America!
00:21:04The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:08Vanderbilt.
00:21:10The father of that skank, Cayley Vanderbilt,
00:21:14who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:19That?
00:21:19The only Vanderbilt family?
00:21:27Oh, goddammit!
00:21:29It's stomachache now?
00:21:34Mmm, whatever.
00:21:36Angela can handle herself.
00:21:37She'll be fine.
00:21:44How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:49I'm Harvey F. Buffett,
00:21:54the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:57I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:01And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:22:05Not with me around.
00:22:07I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:12You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:17You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:21We've had enough of your games.
00:22:23Security!
00:22:24Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:27Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:30But don't worry.
00:22:31You got no money here.
00:22:35I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:37Yes, my great.
00:22:39You're all despicable.
00:22:43An insult to your family names.
00:22:48Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:51Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:54Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:58I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:04Ha!
00:23:04I knew it!
00:23:05You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:07You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:08How much money did you spend on that get-up to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:12You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:17You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
00:23:21She's a gold digger.
00:23:23Gold digger.
00:23:25Gigolo.
00:23:26Want to try me for a night?
00:23:28Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:31Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:34They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:37Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:39She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:42Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:44Security!
00:23:50Security!
00:23:52You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:59You!
00:24:01Insolent fools.
00:24:03Let me guess.
00:24:04You're that special guest?
00:24:06I don't know.
00:24:08Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:19Back down, Max.
00:24:22I got this.
00:24:24I got this.
00:24:25I got this.
00:24:52What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:54I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:56No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:59Oh my God, we're so screwed!
00:25:10Angela!
00:25:12Don't hurt her!
00:25:13You bitch.
00:25:14I've always been sick of you.
00:25:15You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:17How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:20Boss?
00:25:21Did she say purple?
00:25:23Miss Musk?
00:25:24That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:26That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:28My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:32Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:35Past the American Revolution?
00:25:37Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:39If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:42That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:44She's royalty.
00:25:45And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:49I don't know how to do.
00:25:50Kneel to me.
00:25:52Oh, your majesty.
00:25:55Welcome to the United States.
00:25:58We've always been your royal subjects.
00:26:01Yes, your highness.
00:26:03Is it queen or princess?
00:26:05It doesn't matter!
00:26:07My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:10Oh yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:13Hey, what are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:15Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness!
00:26:18What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:46She's a badass herself.
00:26:49He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:51You!
00:26:52You!
00:26:53You told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:55Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time!
00:26:58No!
00:26:59No, don't believe their lies!
00:27:00I worked hard for everything!
00:27:01You worked for everything?
00:27:08Hi, Henry.
00:27:10So, our third-year anniversary is coming up,
00:27:13and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year?
00:27:16I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:17I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:27:20and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:23Oh my god.
00:27:26You were nothing before me.
00:27:34All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine!
00:27:38Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:41I can take all of that away, just like that!
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me!
00:27:48So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody!
00:27:52Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:56Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:58It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:03No, I gave you back the ring?
00:28:12I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:14No!
00:28:15No, Angela, please!
00:28:17No!
00:28:18No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:20I still love you!
00:28:25Oh man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:27No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower!
00:28:36I got these two again.
00:28:38Could he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:41President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:43After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:45each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:48the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Glad you buffoons know your history!
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:53I got lost trying to find Atlanta,
00:28:55then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:02And that there is,
00:29:03that is the legendary boy genius Dr. Wilson.
00:29:07He's Dr. House's protege!
00:29:09Dr. House?
00:29:10Yes.
00:29:11I thought that was just a TV show!
00:29:12Oh no, that's based on real figure.
00:29:14Yep, that's me.
00:29:15Son of James House.
00:29:17Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:19I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:23So he's been off crowning himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:29:29And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:37Hey Allen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:41Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:44What?
00:29:46Fiancés.
00:29:47Plural?
00:29:48Fiancés.
00:29:49Plural?
00:29:50Fiancés.
00:29:51Plural?
00:29:52Watch it, nerds.
00:29:54I'm her fiancée.
00:29:55No, I'm her fiancée.
00:29:57You can both shut up.
00:29:59I'm her fiancée.
00:30:00It's you.
00:30:01It's me.
00:30:02Who the hell is he?
00:30:03I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:05How are all three of these men my fiancés?
00:30:11Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because you
00:30:15decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:18She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumbass.
00:30:23Whatever.
00:30:25Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:30Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:35At your service.
00:30:37Me too.
00:30:39One down, two more to go.
00:30:45She's become queen.
00:30:46Bishop to g4.
00:30:49The most German festive water in the Nile River.
00:31:02Ruck to A8.
00:31:08Hello?
00:31:11I thought I was king.
00:31:12No, you wish.
00:31:14The king doesn't do anything, so Ellen can be my king.
00:31:18Fine.
00:31:23Bankrupt affords right this second.
00:31:30I...
00:31:32I've been bankrupt!
00:31:33No!
00:31:35Who is he?
00:31:41I've been bankrupt!
00:31:43No!
00:31:44I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't.
00:31:48cooperate.
00:31:49Well, guess what?
00:31:50Game over.
00:31:51Alright, boys.
00:31:52Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:55Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:57I'm right with you!
00:32:00Wait for me!
00:32:01Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:32:03Angela!
00:32:04You already have three fiancés?
00:32:18You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:20I...
00:32:21want compensation!
00:32:23You greedy SOB!
00:32:27Who the fuck is that?
00:32:28My ex-husband.
00:32:29Wait.
00:32:30You were married?
00:32:31Yeah.
00:32:32And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:36More for me.
00:32:37No, no.
00:32:38Of course not.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:40Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:42No.
00:32:43Don't steal my joke!
00:32:44I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:46All evidence of your past with him will come.
00:32:49What?
00:32:50Is there something on my face?
00:32:51Uh, yeah.
00:32:52Murderous intent.
00:32:54Let's remarry.
00:32:56Let's remarry.
00:32:58You still don't realize.
00:33:01I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:05Oh shit!
00:33:30Sir, it's an emergency!
00:33:33We need to wreck right away.
00:33:35Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:39Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:43She should be okay now.
00:33:48Hey, you!
00:33:49Watch over here.
00:33:51I'll be right back.
00:34:00You saved me.
00:34:03Fuck.
00:34:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09Fuck.
00:34:10I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:12You've cheated on me.
00:34:14You've hit me.
00:34:15You've insulted me.
00:34:17And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:21I fucking hate you.
00:34:24Lady Lockhart!
00:34:26God, what now?
00:34:28Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person, but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:37How about us three?
00:34:38Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:34:41Yeah, no. You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:45This is your fault, you doofus! We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:51No!
00:34:52No!
00:34:53We can't lose our positions with Elon Musk and the Lockhart.
00:34:58Help me!
00:35:00I'll get you for this!
00:35:01Never should have listened to you!
00:35:09I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:24So, what's the situation here?
00:35:27I want to marry you!
00:35:29Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago, and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:47But, what if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:54Much longer.
00:35:57Angela, your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:36:03My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:09Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:11The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:13Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:15I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing blood-sucking free little husband of yours.
00:36:23Can't call his name.
00:36:25Anyway, congratulations!
00:36:27I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:33Oh, you must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:36:37Ugh, let me do it.
00:36:39You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:43Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:45Mom!
00:36:47All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:49Bye!
00:36:50Bye!
00:36:51So, who are we going to choose?
00:36:55Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:05Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:09That seems greedy.
00:37:17But...
00:37:19I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:22Hey!
00:37:23I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:26I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:31Whoa, okay.
00:37:32No murder, please.
00:37:33I was just kidding.
00:37:36We have seven days to win her over.
00:37:39Ooh, it's like the Bachelorette.
00:37:42I know.
00:37:43We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:37:51Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:55What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:59You'll see.
00:38:00Oh my god, oh my god, cockroaches!
00:38:01All women are afraid of cockroaches, and it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:18What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single, but screaming her head off, Eris?
00:38:25Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:35It's up to the final two.
00:38:37It's up to the final two.
00:38:39so many people have done it while taking it away.
00:38:40I love you.
00:38:41It's really good!
00:38:42I love you.
00:38:43It's good!
00:38:50Mm-hmm.
00:38:51Oh my god, I'm so unhappy.
00:38:52Crunchy!
00:38:57That is sick, Cole.
00:39:05Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:11There are two more left. Want to try one?
00:39:13Oh my god, no! No!
00:39:17Oh my god, save!
00:39:19Save you! Save me!
00:39:23I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:25These hands can't get germs on them. They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:44Thank god you're here.
00:39:48Are you alright, honey?
00:39:50Angela!
00:39:51Angela!
00:39:54Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:39:57You get to watch over her for the night.
00:40:00Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:40:02I'm not her scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:10Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:14At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:16I bet her husband does a small dick anyway.
00:40:21The cockroaches!
00:40:22To God! To God!
00:40:24There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:27I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:30I need a drink.
00:40:31Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach!
00:40:46Why do you care?
00:40:47Why do you care?
00:40:48You're trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:53You guys were right.
00:40:56I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:59You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:04He never even loved me.
00:41:07And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:13Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:21You may not be number one on the Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:27What?
00:41:31You're number one here.
00:41:34You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:41Lies.
00:41:44You all just want something from me.
00:41:51Angela.
00:41:53I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:56But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:42:01I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:04I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:42:11I just need you.
00:42:13I'll prove my love to you within six days. I promise.
00:42:30Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:42:33Angela.
00:42:36You're drunk.
00:42:38I'm an adult. Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:42:42Okay.
00:42:44But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:49Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:55This is what you want.
00:43:00This is what you want.
00:43:03This is what you want.
00:43:059 inch penis.
00:43:07Morning to you too.
00:43:08What do you want to play?
00:43:09Maybe you'll call me.
00:43:10I'm the old cat.
00:43:12I know what you're saying.
00:43:13There's no way to sleep in it.
00:43:14You're the old cat.
00:43:16What do you want to play?
00:43:17This is what you want to play?
00:43:18That's my kind of an old cat.
00:43:19Oh
00:43:34Morning to you too
00:43:36You sure you were drunk last night you wouldn't a girl remembers when she's had a
00:43:41nine-inch
00:43:42Penis
00:43:44Well, glad you enjoyed it
00:43:46but don't tell Shane or Cole because then they would say that you're being
00:43:53unfair technically I was having sex as a break in your rules I won the first
00:43:58challenge and according to Ellen my prize was to spend a night with you
00:44:02anyway don't make this any harder than it already is you sure you don't want it
00:44:11pretty hard
00:44:16fine fine fine I won't tell but only on one condition I won't tell but only on
00:44:30one condition you have to go out on a date with me
00:44:40I've had a crush on you since college Angela you never noticed me
00:44:45you should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you
00:44:53it's only 7 a.m. she's still sleeping yeah I'm not letting my fiance be alone with
00:45:00another man for another second
00:45:02morning gentlemen oh or shall I say ruffman
00:45:08oh don't mind him
00:45:10what's up guys we're ready for the second challenge
00:45:15no cockroaches this time yes no more terrifying things that was my bad Angela this better
00:45:21be a good challenge Ellen I'm sure you'll
00:45:23all enjoy this one the second challenge is the second challenge is a date
00:45:29Elaine I should have asked for something else a date that's it what's the catch no catch just to
00:45:37miss lockhart enjoy spending your time with the most as simple as that I know what I want to do
00:45:41let's start with me first okay close up first then me
00:45:45save the best for last
00:45:47ain't that right Angela
00:45:49then it's decided
00:45:54please don't take my BMW away
00:45:57too bad you pissed off the lockhart
00:46:00I have nothing left
00:46:02it's that bitch who ruined me
00:46:12it's that bitch who ruined me
00:46:17you know I said I will surf
00:46:27on these lieutenants
00:46:29this is my lieutenants
00:46:30he also manages this boxing job
00:46:32pleasure to meet you madam Eisenhower
00:46:34it's so serious
00:46:36but hang on
00:46:38lieutenant I don't know who I'm going to marry yet
00:46:40baby I decided to take you here on my first date
00:46:43so that I can introduce you to my guns
00:46:45guns like murder weapons
00:46:48yes murder weapons
00:47:00you're like my guns babe
00:47:12pretty rock hard
00:47:13yeah
00:47:14let me show you what I can do with them
00:47:16lieutenant
00:47:18come close
00:47:19wait you're just gonna hit him like that he's not even gonna fight back
00:47:23fighting back
00:47:25fighting back will be treason ma'am
00:47:26treason
00:47:27you guys are way too serious
00:47:29look you lockhart bitch I caught you
00:47:31if I'm going down
00:47:33you're all going down with me
00:47:35lieutenant
00:47:37you dare try to hurt my wife
00:47:51I will make you pay
00:47:55you don't need to keep beating him up we could just take him to the cops
00:48:00not when he tries to hurt you
00:48:08it's always a bit violent
00:48:10some might call it being protective
00:48:12poor anger issues
00:48:14what if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something
00:48:18is he gonna be like rough
00:48:21hey some girls are into that
00:48:23I don't know if I am
00:48:26well maybe shame will be your type
00:48:28your date with Shane starts now
00:48:34hey
00:48:36hey
00:48:38cool ride
00:48:40a gift from the chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife
00:48:44impressive
00:48:46your breath smells like peppermint
00:48:50refreshing
00:48:52I got cool mint too
00:48:54or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:56what do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:00fruit flavored gum
00:49:02I can't stand those
00:49:04so where are you taking this drink?
00:49:06let me show you
00:49:08don't do
00:49:14don't do Wilson
00:49:16a VIP of VIPs
00:49:18right this way
00:49:20VIP of VIPs?
00:49:22just some other guy I saved
00:49:24I forget who
00:49:25you saved a lot of people
00:49:26I do what I can
00:49:28oh my gosh
00:49:30oh my gosh
00:49:32it's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband
00:49:34Sandra Miller
00:49:36what are you doing here?
00:49:38I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs
00:49:40your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:42and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up
00:49:46hello of you
00:49:48hello of you
00:49:50what are you doing here Sandra?
00:49:52of course your bird brain wouldn't remember
00:49:54I sell high fashion jewelry pieces
00:49:56so high-end
00:49:57you couldn't even afford
00:49:58even if you sold your organs
00:50:00the auction begins
00:50:02I'll deal with you later
00:50:04here I'll just be one second
00:50:06here I'll just be one second
00:50:12Cameron
00:50:14I have a task for you
00:50:16our next piece is absolutely extraordinary
00:50:20Cleopatra's armband
00:50:22sold by our vendor
00:50:24Sandra Miller
00:50:26for five million dollars
00:50:28excuse me
00:50:30I'd like to donate this piece to auction
00:50:32it's Queen Victoria's ring
00:50:34I'd like to donate this piece to auction
00:50:36it's Queen Victoria's ring
00:50:38I'd like to donate this piece to auction
00:50:40it's Queen Victoria's ring
00:50:42what are you doing?
00:50:44just watch
00:50:46come on
00:50:48that is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52please
00:50:54I'm an expert and that's a fake
00:50:56she probably got it at the flea market she works at
00:50:58you work at a flea market?
00:51:00let's do this again
00:51:02cut the bullshit that wouldn't even sell for five dollars
00:51:04oh yeah?
00:51:05here you want it?
00:51:06for free
00:51:07ew
00:51:08I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler
00:51:12well that's too bad then
00:51:14because you are the fraud
00:51:16what are you talking about?
00:51:18who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:20throw them out
00:51:22Dr. Wilson I know you're a legend in medicine
00:51:25but we're professionals
00:51:27oh yeah?
00:51:29and that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:32yeah
00:51:33mine is the real thing
00:51:35you two are just upset because you're too
00:51:37poor
00:51:38to afford our luxury items
00:51:40oh is that so?
00:51:41would a so-called expert
00:51:43fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:45dear lord
00:51:47this is real
00:51:49it's authentic
00:51:51it's Queen Victoria's ring
00:51:57Cameron
00:51:58what have you found?
00:51:59yeah that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me
00:52:02it's a replica
00:52:03they had the same one right here at the flea market
00:52:07so
00:52:08you are the fraud
00:52:11you just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes
00:52:14and Cameron
00:52:16how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:18150
00:52:20wow
00:52:21not even five dollars
00:52:23Sandra
00:52:24you've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:27arrest her!
00:52:29no!
00:52:30please!
00:52:31even just this one time!
00:52:32please!
00:52:33what's going on Dr. Wilson?
00:52:35uh
00:52:36investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the emperor of japan
00:52:40bye!
00:52:41blacklista from the jewelry industry forever
00:52:52i had a really great time tonight
00:52:55me too
00:52:56may i
00:52:57have a kiss
00:53:10something wrong?
00:53:14do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:22yep
00:53:23you never have to worry about stinky breath for me
00:53:33ha
00:53:34you
00:53:36owe us a bunch of money Cooper
00:53:39I don't have any money
00:53:41how did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:45i guess you'll only pay up
00:53:49if i break your other way
00:53:51stop!
00:53:56Mr. Vanderbilt
00:53:59Mr. Buffett
00:54:04this is the contract for the maple plaza project
00:54:06that's right
00:54:08miss musk wanted me to give it to you
00:54:10i knew angela was still in love with me
00:54:13i knew angela was still in love with me
00:54:15no no
00:54:16sorry about those injuries from earlier
00:54:18it was all just uh
00:54:19just a little misunderstand
00:54:21yeah we could be partners again
00:54:23and then maybe you can um
00:54:26tell uh lady lockhart
00:54:27put in a good word for us
00:54:29put in a good word for us
00:54:30hmm
00:54:31angela still loves me
00:54:32she's just throwing a fit
00:54:33she'll be back to me soon enough
00:54:35yeah
00:54:36do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:38we can give you jewelry to give to her
00:54:41i was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago
00:54:43and now they're all begging me to help them out
00:54:46it feels so damn good to be in power
00:54:48sure
00:54:50i'll put in a good word for you
00:54:52i just need
00:54:54anything
00:54:55you tell us
00:54:56we'll give you anything
00:54:57once i take everything from these idiots
00:55:00i'll go after angela lockhart
00:55:03for my revenge
00:55:09i'm giving a contract to jared cooper just like you asked me to
00:55:12well done he'll be fucked soon
00:55:17well done he'll be fucked soon
00:55:19i don't get it miss musk
00:55:20my contract has a preliminary clause
00:55:23it requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit
00:55:26and if you can then what?
00:55:28he'll be bankrupt
00:55:29so as long as he's greedy enough to take it
00:55:33i'm avenging my best friend
00:55:35i want to show the world that without angela lockhart
00:55:38he's nothing
00:55:42i signed the maple plaza project
00:55:47we should celebrate
00:55:49you did?
00:55:50you see i know my son has it in him
00:55:53that skank angela is nothing next to you
00:55:57and it's all thanks to you sweetheart
00:56:00actually it's thanks to angela
00:56:05what?
00:56:06what?
00:56:07you're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife
00:56:09oh no no no no he's not
00:56:11jared what are you doing?
00:56:13you have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you
00:56:16it's my decision mom i'm the head of the house here
00:56:20i'm telling my dad
00:56:22fine go right ahead he has enough problems himself
00:56:25if you're obedient i'll keep you around as his side piece
00:56:28but if not you can scram
00:56:30dad
00:56:32jared is being mean to me teach him a lesson
00:56:35kaley be a good girl okay
00:56:38jared has the backing of some very powerful people now
00:56:41don't get on his bad side
00:56:43we can't afford to piss him off
00:56:45so do as he says
00:56:47but dad
00:56:48i'm sorry
00:56:57i'll be your side piece
00:56:59very good
00:57:00i'm happy you've come around
00:57:02now let's go celebra-
00:57:03i mean do i really want to be with mr minty mouth forever though?
00:57:10but that tongue action though
00:57:12tongue is important
00:57:14in more than just one spot
00:57:16darling we are in public
00:57:17that's true
00:57:18stomach ache
00:57:20again?
00:57:21i have to run to the bathroom
00:57:22devin should be here to pick you up soon
00:57:25okay
00:57:26devin's late
00:57:28not a good sign for a date
00:57:30this hotel restaurant has five michelin stars
00:57:37it's her
00:57:39and she's alone
00:57:40with no one to save her
00:57:42you whore
00:57:45you seduced my son so he could get back with you
00:57:51let me tell you
00:57:53i would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me
00:57:58oh
00:58:00hey you guys can fight all you want
00:58:02but you need to take this somewhere else
00:58:04whoever gets rid of her from me gets all this
00:58:07what? why do i have to leave? she's the one starting shit
00:58:10because i have money and you don't
00:58:13you're just a stinky hippie peddler
00:58:15and my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract
00:58:19he's still got the contract?
00:58:21hmm
00:58:22must be ellen's doing
00:58:24even if he does sign it
00:58:26he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front
00:58:28oh
00:58:29he's just gonna
00:58:30bet you've never seen this much cash before
00:58:33bet you've never seen this much cash before
00:58:37you take my charity
00:58:41and toss it in my face
00:58:43as if it's your own
00:58:44my maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount
00:58:47one thousand dollars to take her away
00:58:50two thousand dollars to drag her away
00:58:53five thousand dollars to beat her away
00:58:57oh
00:58:59oh hey
00:59:00hey
00:59:01ow hey
00:59:02stop
00:59:03you okay?
00:59:05are you hurt?
00:59:06are you hurt?
00:59:11weakling
00:59:12you
00:59:13you
00:59:14just a few days ago
00:59:15you found yourself a boy toy
00:59:16right after getting divorced
00:59:17and now you have two more
00:59:19what a whore
00:59:20what a whore
00:59:21what a whore
00:59:22yeah
00:59:23and Jared wanted to get back with her
00:59:25what if she has an STD?
00:59:27oh like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD
00:59:31let's go
00:59:33we'll expose her to Jared
00:59:35hang on
00:59:36what do you want?
00:59:38I'll scream!
00:59:40I don't hit a woman
00:59:41but I never said I don't kill him
00:59:45but I never said I don't kill him
00:59:47I said I don't kill him
00:59:50oh god
00:59:51he is a murderer
00:59:52what if he murders me?
00:59:54not him
00:59:55definitely not him
00:59:56we're not afraid of you
01:00:02that's enough
01:00:03this isn't a war zone
01:00:04you'll be removed from being a five star general
01:00:07if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause
01:00:09I was just messing with them
01:00:11was he though?
01:00:12we're not afraid of you
01:00:15Jared!
01:00:16you have to avenge us
01:00:17look at this slut
01:00:18she's found two more boy toys
01:00:20she's cheating on you
01:00:21don't get back with her
01:00:22oh Mr. Cooper it's you
01:00:24I apologize for this scene
01:00:26I'll toss out the potty crashers immediately
01:00:28so that you can go to his salvation banquet
01:00:30who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:32who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:34the potty crashers
01:00:39you have any idea who that is?
01:00:41that's my wife
01:00:42please save that title for the real skank over there
01:00:45that's right
01:00:46know your place
01:00:47shut up
01:00:48she's cheating on you
01:00:50I know your place
01:00:53you're just a side piece
01:00:54if I still want you that is
01:00:56Eric
01:00:57have you gone mad?
01:00:58this is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter
01:01:00you slap her for this whore?
01:01:02mom!
01:01:03they really think there's something huh?
01:01:05Angela's an heiress to a family
01:01:07whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age
01:01:09she's richer even than Ellen Musk
01:01:12I only got the maple closet project because she gave it to me
01:01:16what?
01:01:18you!
01:01:19apologize right now
01:01:20or I will kick you and your father to the curb
01:01:23I'm sorry
01:01:29no
01:01:31this can't be
01:01:33I made you divorce
01:01:36go home
01:01:39you're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet
01:01:43I apologize on behalf of my mother
01:01:50honey I know you came here to celebrate my achievements
01:01:55I promise no one will bother you anymore
01:01:57I didn't come here for you
01:02:00I'm on a date
01:02:02a date with two men at the same time?
01:02:06she really is a whore
01:02:08Angela please forgive me
01:02:09I really do love you
01:02:11oh ho! Lady Larkhart is here
01:02:16oh ho! Lady Larkhart is here
01:02:20oh ho! Lady Larkhart is here
01:02:22yeah yeah we already know you beat Ford's effort
01:02:25we're too old for that
01:02:27they're here for my celebration banquet
01:02:29please you gave me the contract
01:02:31so if anyone should go as my guest of honor
01:02:34it should be you
01:02:35oh yes please Miss Larkhart join us
01:02:37we'll all be one happy business family again
01:02:41what the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:44where were you?
01:02:46stomach issues
01:02:47again?
01:02:48would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:50no
01:02:52let me make myself clear
01:02:55okay?
01:02:56I would rather die
01:02:57than be with you again
01:02:59seems that they're not actually on good terms
01:03:04I can't lose face in front of these pricks
01:03:06otherwise they'll cut me off too
01:03:07Angela I know you're still mad
01:03:09but please give me a chance
01:03:10I'll prove it to you
01:03:12you want a chance?
01:03:13Angela no
01:03:14you have three great guys here who all want to marry you
01:03:17don't take him back
01:03:19I'll give you two choices
01:03:24I'll give you two choices
01:03:28me
01:03:29or the contract
01:03:30you're kidding me
01:03:32no
01:03:33I'm not kidding you
01:03:35if you choose me
01:03:36we can
01:03:37remarry this week
01:03:39but
01:03:40you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract
01:03:42the choice is all yours
01:03:44so that's a choice
01:03:46you think so?
01:03:47he either marries a royal heiress
01:03:49or gets a contract
01:03:50that takes his company to the moon
01:03:51either way he benefits
01:03:54why can't I have both?
01:03:56you really are a greedy bastard
01:03:58Angela I saved you in the pool
01:04:00remember?
01:04:01I deserved the contract
01:04:03did you really?
01:04:08look who's fashionably late now
01:04:11he didn't save her at the pool
01:04:13wait
01:04:14what are you talking about?
01:04:15what are you talking about?
01:04:16I
01:04:17uh
01:04:18I choose the contract
01:04:19I knew it
01:04:20you'll get what's coming to you
01:04:23with this contract
01:04:24my company's earning potential is limitless
01:04:27Angela Lockhart
01:04:28you humiliated me in front of everyone
01:04:30I will get you one day
01:04:32let me show you something
01:04:33let me show you something
01:04:46you saved me
01:04:52you saved me
01:04:53I'm sorry
01:04:54I'm sorry
01:04:55if his lies led to you
01:04:56wasting three years of your life
01:05:00but I promise you
01:05:02I'm going to make it up to you
01:05:03with the rest of our lives
01:05:04no
01:05:05no
01:05:06I wasn't lying
01:05:07I just
01:05:08couldn't
01:05:09remember exactly what happened that day
01:05:10does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:22what?
01:05:23me?
01:05:24Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:27no way
01:05:28you guys
01:05:29one of you
01:05:30do something life-threatening right now
01:05:32you're crazy
01:05:34and actually
01:05:35they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back
01:05:39what?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings
01:05:44turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts
01:05:48put it simply
01:05:50they've been stealing from you
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize
01:05:54Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry
01:05:56I should have had third party accountants check thoroughly
01:06:00no, it's not your fault
01:06:01they're just
01:06:02too slick
01:06:03you'd like me to punish them for
01:06:05oh god, no
01:06:06not that again
01:06:07please
01:06:08Max
01:06:10you know what to do
01:06:24the banks have pulled all of our funds
01:06:26all business ties have been severed
01:06:28we're bankrupt
01:06:30how did you do that?
01:06:36who are you?
01:06:37hey!
01:06:38don't say spider-man
01:06:41i'll tell you who i am
01:06:45i'll tell you who i am
01:06:49i am
01:06:51crypto punk number two
01:06:52what did he say he was?
01:06:54that's more bizarre than spider-man
01:06:57you're crypto punk number two?
01:06:59well
01:07:00i'm crypto punk number one
01:07:02see?
01:07:03you are number one at something
01:07:04the most expensive nft collection in the world
01:07:07forget borbs' list
01:07:09it's all about young money now
01:07:12so
01:07:13how about our date?
01:07:19i'm not letting one-up me on this one
01:07:21let's buy two
01:07:22they forgot to cancel my contract
01:07:38i still have the one hundred billion dollar project
01:07:41yes
01:07:42yes
01:07:43i'm rich
01:07:44i think make them all pay soon
01:07:52what?
01:07:54mr. cooper sir
01:07:55the maple plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs upfront
01:07:59otherwise it's a breach of contract and will have to pay for all financial repercussions
01:08:05no!
01:08:07i'm bankrupt
01:08:09angel of a law card
01:08:10you tricked me!
01:08:12hey!
01:08:17oh
01:08:18allow me
01:08:21i'm sorry i was late my queen
01:08:23i had to get some very important materials
01:08:27for our special date
01:08:29well
01:08:30cheers
01:08:32cheers
01:08:41this looks good
01:08:47did you use my spices?
01:08:49i know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you
01:08:54you can have all the money and power in the world
01:08:56and
01:08:57you still can't force a man to love you
01:09:01i couldn't even remember our anniversary
01:09:07angel
01:09:10your future
01:09:11with me
01:09:14it's gonna be different
01:09:16come on
01:09:18let's dance
01:09:19okay
01:09:26wow
01:09:27devon i can't believe this is what i've been missing out on these past few years
01:09:43just because of some silly mistake
01:09:46angela
01:09:48i've known and loved you for three whole years
01:09:51actually
01:09:53i've also loved you for three years
01:09:55that's right
01:09:57i fell in love with you three years ago too
01:09:59how is all of this possible?
01:10:02i didn't meet any of you until recently
01:10:05well, actually
01:10:07maybe devon, but
01:10:09i've had a crush on you since college
01:10:12you're my motivation to go to business school
01:10:16despite who you were
01:10:17you never judged me for being poor
01:10:20are you trying to get hired at fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:28all you do is babble on and on about internet money, bitcoin and shit like that
01:10:37are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:40i'll teach you a lesson
01:10:44hey!
01:10:46get away from me!
01:10:47angela!
01:10:50feisty girl
01:10:51i like her
01:11:03how is he?
01:11:04it's a rare poison
01:11:05made from a mixture of dried roots found in africa
01:11:08astragal salti
01:11:10can it be cured?
01:11:12i actually think i know that poison
01:11:14it sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country
01:11:18household salt
01:11:26i like her
01:11:29there you go
01:11:31what time is it up?
01:11:34oh shoot, i'm late for swim practice
01:11:43i like her
01:11:45we have been rivals ever since
01:11:47so, that's how i
01:11:50well, we
01:11:52all met
01:11:53i barely remember
01:11:55should have never let you go to swim practice that day
01:11:57matthew richards
01:11:59the guy who poisoned me
01:12:01attacked you out of revenge
01:12:02you wouldn't have known
01:12:04i did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though
01:12:06that makes you feel any better
01:12:08yeah, i think that suits him a little better
01:12:10yeah
01:12:11angela?
01:12:12your seven days is almost up
01:12:14now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years
01:12:17who will you pick?
01:12:18how can that be?
01:12:21angela lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:28kaylee, we've gone bankrupt
01:12:32kaylee, we've gone bankrupt
01:12:36bankrupt?
01:12:38the vanderbills have gone bankrupt?
01:12:41well then, get out of here
01:12:44you can't do this to me
01:12:48Jared!
01:12:49mom, it's me
01:12:50what happened?
01:12:52Jared, i have carefully reconsidered
01:12:55angela is way better than this dimwit
01:12:57you should get back with your wife
01:12:58we're bankrupt
01:12:59we're bankrupt
01:13:00what?
01:13:04Jared Cooper
01:13:07we're here to repost your belongings
01:13:11no one is going to save you now
01:13:14what?
01:13:15no!
01:13:19what kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:25who will you pick?
01:13:26i
01:13:35i brought you fried chicken?
01:13:36fried chicken?
01:13:37hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar
01:13:40yeah, he's right
01:13:41i did live in atlanta for three months
01:13:43sucking up last minute
01:13:45at least i don't speak like an ai robot
01:13:47hey! stop! stop!
01:13:51welcome back to the bachelorette
01:13:53i mean, the three badasses who want me
01:13:57i mean, Angela Lockhart
01:14:00you know what i mean
01:14:02today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:14:05which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:14:08will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:12Cole, the general?
01:14:14the general?
01:14:17or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:23looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide
01:14:26oh, the suspense is killing me
01:14:29but when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:14:32made from glass imported from venice
01:14:35and give it to our winner
01:14:37Angela?
01:14:41Angela?
01:14:43oh, i...
01:14:45i need more time to think
01:14:47while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide
01:14:51why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:54let's check in with each of our candidates
01:14:56let's start with Cole
01:14:58Cole
01:15:00there's not much to say
01:15:02who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:04who has huge biceps
01:15:07and massive chest
01:15:09who would protect their wife?
01:15:11okay, thank you
01:15:14uh, Shane?
01:15:16muscles, money
01:15:19they only get you so far
01:15:22but you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:24that has more than one way to keep a lady
01:15:26who has a five-star general
01:15:28who has huge biceps
01:15:30and a massive chest
01:15:31and a small-class man like me
01:15:32that has more than one way to keep a lady happy
01:15:35if you know what i mean
01:15:40okay, i think we do
01:15:41and Devon
01:15:44that was quite disgusting
01:15:48i just hope Angela's okay
01:15:50i know she's going under a lot of stress right now
01:15:53a lot of choices to make
01:15:55and she's my queen
01:15:57i just really hope she's okay
01:15:59and then one more thing
01:16:01what kind of a doctor
01:16:03brings fried chicken to a girl
01:16:05that's a good point
01:16:07it's bad for her heart
01:16:10and then you
01:16:11what?
01:16:13you know what they say about military men
01:16:15they beat their wives
01:16:21enough!
01:16:23stand up!
01:16:25hey!
01:16:26you guys
01:16:28whoa! break it up!
01:16:30hey! break it up!
01:16:32oh!
01:16:34oh!
01:16:36cut to commercial!
01:16:38cut to commercial!
01:16:39this is the hardest decision i've ever had to make in my entire life
01:16:58who do i choose?
01:17:01who do i choose?
01:17:10Angela's marrying me!
01:17:11you're not stealing her from me
01:17:13oh yeah?
01:17:15i may be a doctor
01:17:16but like i said
01:17:17i know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world
01:17:21what don't you have in that code?
01:17:25fruit flavored gum!
01:17:27i won't let you take Angela away from me
01:17:29i'll fight you to the death
01:17:31don't forget about me
01:17:33it's time i reveal my true identity
01:17:36identity
01:17:38these stupid profile cards don't make any sense
01:17:42they do not help
01:17:44who made these?
01:17:45it's time i reveal my true identity
01:18:07i'm actually a part of the x-men
01:18:10and i have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:30we may have to work together to take him down
01:18:41this battle within our heads is the most intense i've ever experienced
01:18:47i may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up
01:18:51hmmm... winter mint or cool mint?
01:18:58you know?
01:19:00i've always really liked your hair
01:19:01really?
01:19:03i'm actually pretty self-conscious about it
01:19:07so i appreciate that
01:19:08hey hey hey hey
01:19:10and you know
01:19:11cool
01:19:12i've already really liked the way you talk
01:19:15really?
01:19:16yeah
01:19:20what do you got for me?
01:19:22i always
01:19:23really liked the way you chew gum
01:19:25yeah? yeah
01:19:26it's fresh right?
01:19:27yeah
01:19:29yeah yeah
01:19:31you know you're actually a really good dog
01:19:33yeah i appreciate it
01:19:34if you need me to look at you i got you
01:19:36i need you
01:19:37yeah of course
01:19:38angela's been kidnapped
01:19:40angela's been kidnapped
01:19:42it was jerry cooper
01:19:44that fucker
01:19:46we have to find her
01:19:47what the hell?
01:19:48her ring
01:19:49her dad installed a gps tracking mechanism on her ring just in case
01:19:52well let's go then
01:19:54my wife
01:19:55my fiance
01:19:56my fiance
01:19:57jared
01:19:58what am i doing here?
01:20:07you destroyed me
01:20:10they took everything
01:20:13what?
01:20:14i have nothing left
01:20:16it's not my fault you're too greedy
01:20:18it's not my fault you're too greedy
01:20:21i wasn't greedy
01:20:22to have sex with my wife
01:20:24what?
01:20:26i'm not your wife anymore
01:20:27oh yeah i know
01:20:28you wouldn't take me back now
01:20:29not unless i get you pregnant with my child
01:20:31this is illegal
01:20:32you wouldn't want your child to be away from its father
01:20:35you won't have me arrested
01:20:37you will take me back
01:20:38you will take me back
01:20:40ow!
01:20:41what a bitch
01:20:44i'll set you down a little
01:20:54you will be begging me to fuck you soon
01:20:59hey!
01:21:01ansible!
01:21:02come in
01:21:06you're too late
01:21:07i drugged her
01:21:08she'll be dead soon
01:21:09and let's-
01:21:10oh yeah?
01:21:11have you forgotten who i am?
01:21:13he really does have everything here as a coach
01:21:14everything except for-
01:21:15yeah except for fruit
01:21:16yeah except for fruit flavor gum
01:21:17we get it already
01:21:18just save my boss
01:21:21here we go
01:21:27you're all good now
01:21:29oh thank god
01:21:31but what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33what?
01:21:34what are you gonna do to me?
01:21:36hey stop!
01:21:37no!
01:21:38don't-
01:21:39enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever
01:21:42no
01:21:44no
01:21:45no
01:21:47glad we didn't actually have that fight
01:21:48turns out he's the most dangerous of them all
01:21:50the most dangerous of them all
01:21:57so who did you pick sweetheart?
01:21:59you've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding
01:22:02the prince of bhutan
01:22:04and remember we will kill ourselves if you don't choose
01:22:07welcome back to the finale of the three badasses who want me
01:22:17we're down to the wire
01:22:18literally the wedding day
01:22:20but who's the groom?
01:22:21welcome back to the finale of the three badasses who want me
01:22:38but who's the groom?
01:22:39seems our heiress still hasn't decided
01:22:47any input from the parents
01:22:49maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice
01:22:53this is exciting
01:22:55who should my daughter pick
01:22:57let me think
01:22:58I like the doctor
01:23:03he's cute
01:23:05but the general looks like a strong fellow
01:23:10and we can't forget about Devon Sterling
01:23:12the one who's loved her the longest
01:23:14isn't that right Devon?
01:23:16Angela
01:23:17you are all three very fine gentlemen
01:23:28and I'm really grateful for all of your love
01:23:33but this was a really hard decision
01:23:36and I decided to devise one last challenge
01:23:42and I decided to devise one last challenge
01:23:47I'm just kidding
01:23:50I'm just as sick of this as you guys are
01:23:56each of our candidates have saved our main character
01:24:00I mean bachelorette once
01:24:02they've all proven their undying love
01:24:06so who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09literally
01:24:11could it be
01:24:13the sexy and protective
01:24:15general with a temper
01:24:16Mr. Cole Eisenhower
01:24:19or
01:24:23the fun
01:24:25wicked minded
01:24:27but kind of weird
01:24:29Dr. Shane Wilson
01:24:33and last but not least
01:24:35could it be the richest man of them all
01:24:38the man Angela would have married a long time ago
01:24:40Mr. Devon Sterling
01:24:42gentlemen
01:24:44gentlemen
01:24:47it's been a pleasure getting to know you
01:24:49that has made the best man win
01:24:52may the best man win
01:24:54drum roll please
01:24:55drum roll please
01:24:58gotta make you understand
01:25:01never gonna give you up
01:25:03never gonna let you down
01:25:05never gonna run around and desert you
01:25:09seriously Ricky
01:25:10seriously Ricky
01:25:18I choose
01:25:19I choose
01:25:29I need to power with a strong man
01:25:30and I really feel like he can protect me
01:25:35who could resist those guns
01:25:36they interest you in an NFD
01:25:39Ellen?
01:25:40do you like full body choco?
01:25:41do you like full body choco?
01:25:42do you like full body choco?
01:25:43do you like full body choco?
01:25:44oh
01:25:58Shane it's you I'm, I'm love sick for you
01:26:01you like that minty flavour don't you?
01:26:03yeah
01:26:05It's that tongue action ladies and gents
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen
01:26:10I hope we can grow together
01:26:11It's always been you.
01:26:25I'll always love you.
01:26:38Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:42Would you like a full body checkup?
01:26:44Have you seen my murder weapon?
01:26:46I need fruit flavored gum for you.
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