- 5 months ago
29000 Wishes 1 Regret-HD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00All the corner office. Top floor.
00:00:04Mm-hmm. The penthouse suite.
00:00:05Welcome to the new Alpern home.
00:00:08This is our foyer, sort of.
00:00:11Foyer number three.
00:00:13Fireplace. Beautiful view of downtown.
00:00:16Did you sketch? Did you get that?
00:00:18Good.
00:00:24You thought of everything.
00:00:25I did, Candles.
00:00:26Jennifer Alpern. You were such a romantic.
00:00:29Jennifer, I just measured it.
00:00:30We totally have room for a billiard table.
00:00:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:00:33Come on!
00:00:34No!
00:00:35First of all, I am a pool shark.
00:00:37You know I will kill you.
00:00:37You're a pool shark, but you don't play billiards.
00:00:39I can't believe you found that.
00:00:40I put it in the garage in a tiny box in the corner.
00:00:44Oh, it was cold.
00:00:45Honey, you've had that sweater since college.
00:00:48It's gross. It has holes in it.
00:00:49It smells like old beard.
00:00:52This is quality.
00:00:53Kevin, if you take off that sweater,
00:00:55I will make love to you in every room in this house.
00:01:00Starting right here.
00:01:03That's so itching.
00:01:05Turn to your left 90 degrees.
00:01:08Open your eyes.
00:01:10What is this?
00:01:11What do you think?
00:01:13What is it?
00:01:14Kiss me.
00:01:15Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:01:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:01:23And if you're watching this,
00:01:25then we're not here anymore.
00:01:27That sounds really dramatic.
00:01:28I'm going to try it again.
00:01:30Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:01:31This is Kevin,
00:01:32and we're here to tell you
00:01:33how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:01:35You probably already know this,
00:01:37but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:01:39Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:01:42And then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:01:43Yeah, if we're going downhill anyway,
00:01:46why not be the masters of our own fate
00:01:47and decide when and how we're going to go under?
00:01:50We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:01:55Spend what we want when we want.
00:01:57Yeah, do all the things that we wanted to do,
00:01:59but now due to the circumstances, can't do.
00:02:03So here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:02:07Do you have anything else to say?
00:02:09Nope.
00:02:10I do miss everyone.
00:02:12Just know that we had a really great time
00:02:15these last few months.
00:02:16Yeah.
00:02:16Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:02:20I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:02:22but I just want you to know
00:02:24I thought about you every day.
00:02:28I should probably shut it off now.
00:02:30You come clean
00:02:42And cause a scene
00:02:47My diary writes
00:02:51It's all lies
00:02:55I know you, sis.
00:03:13Let's go.
00:03:43that bad huh can you say hell i don't even see what the point is hundreds of us hundreds crammed
00:03:53into this little room and the looks on everyone's faces just said it all take me i'll be your slave
00:03:58i'll work for next to nothing pathetic you'll get it i can feel it no i won't i didn't pass my cpi
00:04:06your what critical personality inventory exam it's an exam they invented to test whether
00:04:14corporate policy gels with you or your personality gels with them
00:04:18they test your big five your conscientiousness your stability your openness your agreeableness
00:04:25your extroversion brian's always in trouble he thinks his new girlfriend of two months is pregnant
00:04:33what would brian do without your advice i am his best friend it seems like you're his only friend
00:04:37it's kind of my duty to be there for him he's going through a tough time hello well you're a good guy
00:04:43kevin you know if you shut off your cell phone we could save 60 a month never i'm my last link to
00:04:50my old life when i was a mover and shaker old habits die hard
00:04:53so what's for dinner
00:04:59boston baked beans
00:05:05oh good i like beans not the more nutritious than beans they're low with protein
00:05:11oh i am surprised
00:05:13do we win a lotto jackpot's up to 62.5 million
00:05:17no close i just got my last unemployment check
00:05:20oh good time to cut loose and celebrate
00:05:22no it's time to make the money last
00:05:25there's always food stamps or the place we donated the turkey
00:05:28the food bank
00:05:29yeah
00:05:30or maybe we'll get jobs
00:05:32i sent my resume to over a hundred companies something's got a gift
00:05:35maybe we should just go to the store
00:05:36no it's order takeout
00:05:38no no we can't
00:05:40pizza pizza
00:05:40kevin that's like over twenty dollars plus a tip
00:05:42no
00:05:43we can just get cheese
00:05:44i can live without toppings without pepperoni not mushrooms
00:05:47mushrooms are a line in the sand that's non-negotiable
00:05:49kevin we only have 591 dollars and 62 cents to last us an infinite amount of time
00:05:54we're not getting takeout
00:05:55we're not going out to eat
00:05:57oh and there was a 50 cent off pack of 12 pack of tuna
00:06:03done
00:06:04i swore in college i would never eat ramen again
00:06:07i worked hard enough i need the good stuff
00:06:09is there a reason why you torture us
00:06:11how's that
00:06:13you go on and on about how things used to be
00:06:15it's getting old
00:06:16i'm sorry i'm remembering a better period in our lives
00:06:19oh you're complaining
00:06:20you know what you call complaining is my way of remembering
00:06:23in better times
00:06:25i'm not having this conversation again
00:06:27oh brian again
00:06:31what would he do without your brotherly advice
00:06:35i have no idea
00:06:36hey remember our old market where we used to have our choice of cheeses like goat
00:06:49and not just goat kember rockford and you can choose what country it came from and then the
00:06:55region from that country
00:06:56you're done
00:06:57sorry i won't reminisce anymore i'm bad
00:07:01hi mom
00:07:02hi dear how are the two of you doing
00:07:04you're doing okay
00:07:05how's kevin's job on progressing
00:07:07i don't know let me ask him
00:07:08my mom wants to know how the job hunt's coming
00:07:10terrible
00:07:11i hope he hasn't given up
00:07:12tell him winners win
00:07:15my mom says don't give up winners win
00:07:17i bet she does
00:07:18i just heard he's still looking
00:07:20yeah mom he's looking every day
00:07:22we both are
00:07:23it's just hard no one's hiring right now
00:07:26he needs to pound the pavement
00:07:28mom he is
00:07:29are you both coming home for thanksgiving
00:07:31yes we are coming home for thanksgiving
00:07:33i just don't see why someone won't hire him
00:07:36he's such a smart boy
00:07:38such a talented architect
00:07:41mom can i call you back
00:07:42okay
00:07:44you're silly
00:07:47isn't that why you married me
00:07:49maybe
00:07:50you made a mess
00:07:52i know we better go before they make us pay for it
00:07:54no what is that anyway
00:07:55it's gelatin
00:07:56it's mexican gelatin
00:07:58it's jalapeno gelatin with queso
00:08:00what else do we need
00:08:02i don't know i got the peanut butter
00:08:03and the beans
00:08:04you ready
00:08:05tuna good call
00:08:09you were so honored
00:08:10your favorite
00:08:11cilantro
00:08:12it's like knives
00:08:18i love cilantro
00:08:19i know
00:08:20and it makes me worry about you
00:08:22that maybe you are an android
00:08:24we had tears
00:08:26like streams they run
00:08:29don't let sadness
00:08:31it's dark and the fun
00:08:33why can't you
00:08:36let me go
00:08:40honest
00:08:44don't last at all
00:08:48honest
00:08:49just makes me crawl
00:08:53honest
00:08:54makes me go
00:08:56out of my mind
00:09:01you growing a beard
00:09:07my new plan is to shave every four days
00:09:10that way we can save on razors and shaving cream
00:09:12do you know that each of those razors is like two dollars
00:09:16i never realized where we're popping up
00:09:17yep
00:09:19well i think it's sexy
00:09:22do you still love me
00:09:31of course i do
00:09:33then say it
00:09:36i don't have to say it
00:09:39i've never said it
00:09:40would i still be with you if i didn't love you
00:09:45what choice would you have
00:09:46i could move out
00:09:48and go where
00:09:49i don't know the car
00:09:52that's my point
00:09:53i feel like we're together because we have to be together not because we want to be together
00:09:59hey even when we had everything i was still with you
00:10:02then say it
00:10:05look you know i don't say it i just show it
00:10:09my mother always told my father she loved him and then they got divorced and then he married
00:10:14marilyn is trophy wife and it didn't matter they said it
00:10:18well if it means absolutely nothing then just say it
00:10:21why are we having this conversation now we're married
00:10:23because it's important now okay
00:10:25i just need it
00:10:29i love you all right
00:10:33yeah
00:10:34yeah
00:10:39amazing
00:10:51how that guy can interrupt every moment we have
00:10:53it's like he has relationships sabotage
00:10:56you know what it's a nice day i'm gonna walk home
00:11:02are you mad at me
00:11:13no i'm not mad
00:11:15just sad i guess
00:11:17don't you think i'm sad too
00:11:19not for the same reasons
00:11:22i miss driving our car
00:11:28i thought we weren't allowed to get nostalgic
00:11:31it says back
00:11:32i'm allowed to be a little misty once in a while
00:11:35i kind of like it
00:11:40i mean we used to drive everywhere
00:11:42we never got to see anything
00:11:43it really opens your eyes though
00:11:45yeah
00:11:46i don't know if i want to see everything
00:11:47i like living my own ignorant little world
00:11:51i'm excited for sandwiches
00:12:04you always were a terrific chef
00:12:16no you're sweet
00:12:17and a bad liar
00:12:19i thought we were saving that for a special occasion
00:12:25well we were we might be waiting a long time so
00:12:29what are we toasting to
00:12:32i don't know
00:12:35let's try something
00:12:39during this entire meal
00:12:41no one can say anything negative
00:12:43this is going to be a happy pleasant meal
00:12:45and if whoever talks negatively
00:12:49loses and has the dishes for a week
00:12:51what do i make it two weeks
00:12:53three weeks
00:12:54a month
00:12:56till spring
00:12:56works for me
00:12:58you know kevin i was thinking
00:13:01this meal out would have cost us
00:13:04thirty two dollars at least
00:13:05not to mention the drinks
00:13:07which would have been at least ten
00:13:08yeah so that's like forty two dollars
00:13:10with tax intent maybe even forty five
00:13:11and for what
00:13:12bread that costs ten cents a slice
00:13:16i mean an 89 cent can of tuna
00:13:18two cents worth of mayo
00:13:19that's like 50 cents a sandwich
00:13:22that's over a thirty two dollar savings
00:13:24i love tuna
00:13:26add a little mayo
00:13:27relish celery
00:13:28it's foodie's paradise
00:13:29where would we be without peanut butter and tuna fish
00:13:33empires were built on these staples
00:13:35you lose
00:13:36how's that
00:13:37you were complaining
00:13:39oh i would like to repeal this ruling
00:13:41do you like sex
00:13:43oh that's not fair
00:13:46you can't use sex as a bargaining chip
00:13:47oh
00:13:48okay maybe you can but that's just not fair
00:13:52okay
00:13:53maybe
00:13:54i will consider reducing your sentence to one week
00:13:57if
00:13:58you work for it
00:14:00tell me you love me
00:14:03oh we're back on that again
00:14:06never not on it
00:14:08well then i only have one question for you
00:14:11which type of dishwashing soap do you prefer
00:14:14make sure you wash those really good
00:14:17with some grease and some of those
00:14:19um
00:14:26is it brian
00:14:29hey hey hey
00:14:30i can take some time
00:14:31come on
00:14:31you are a truck maker
00:14:32looks like he's off the hook
00:14:35hillary doesn't have a bun in the oven
00:14:37she dumped him
00:14:38great i'm so happy for him
00:14:40i won two tickets to paris
00:14:44you mean virtual tickets
00:14:46my sorority nominated me to go
00:14:49and i got a new pet her name is tattles
00:14:51she's coming with me
00:14:53hmm is this your way of saying you want a cat
00:14:55oh i'm going to the south of france
00:14:57with my new boyfriend on ring
00:14:59can i come too
00:15:02dumb question jen
00:15:03what joy do you get in going to places that aren't real
00:15:06south of france is very real
00:15:09not to us
00:15:11not having this conversation
00:15:15you never want to talk about it
00:15:17talk about what exactly
00:15:21our situation
00:15:22look i was just reading in psychology.com
00:15:25if you talk about your problems and get them out in the open
00:15:28you're more apt to be a happier healthier person than holding it inside
00:15:32and that it's important for couples to have tough conversations
00:15:35even if it causes friction between those you love
00:15:39do you really believe any of that bs
00:15:41i mean the individual who wrote that is obviously under some deadline to generate content
00:15:46so he doesn't lose his job
00:15:47and the life he works so hard for and end up like us
00:15:50well that's exactly my point
00:15:52we're holding on to all this anger and it's making us depressed
00:15:55holding things inside is not what's making me depressed
00:15:59it's living like this that's making me depressed
00:16:03it's
00:16:04well we lost our house and we can't even get jobs and i don't even think we could get arrested if we wanted to
00:16:11oh i could get arrested that wouldn't be tough
00:16:12see what i'm saying you said you want to have a serious conversation and you're just making jokes
00:16:17well what am i supposed to do
00:16:18talk about it
00:16:19maybe making jokes is my way of venting
00:16:22i think if i were to admit that our lives are going downhill
00:16:25i wouldn't be able to cope
00:16:26and now you're being defensive
00:16:27i'm not being defensive
00:16:29and i do want to talk about it
00:16:31no you don't want to talk about it
00:16:34because if you did want to talk about it we'd talk about it
00:16:36okay so talk about it now
00:16:39i can't just do it on command
00:16:42yeah
00:16:45where are you going
00:16:48out
00:16:50okay where is out exactly
00:16:52jen
00:16:55you're really going
00:16:57uh
00:17:09oh
00:17:13oh
00:17:20i
00:17:22i
00:17:22i
00:17:24You're not going to jump, are you?
00:17:43I miss all the fun we've been having.
00:17:49I was thinking about it.
00:17:50Can we go together?
00:17:56Like a suicide pact?
00:17:59Well, I wouldn't want to live without you.
00:18:03You'd get over me.
00:18:05Wanna bet?
00:18:09Guess there's only one way to find out.
00:18:15Think we'd die on impact or in the air?
00:18:17We're not high enough to die midair.
00:18:19It would be on the splat.
00:18:21The splat?
00:18:22Yeah, when we hit the concrete.
00:18:24Is that like an official term?
00:18:26No, I made it up.
00:18:31That would be gross.
00:18:34Yeah, bloody.
00:18:37Body parts.
00:18:39Everywhere.
00:18:39Besides, I want an open casket.
00:18:43If we end up, we're going to have to do it some other way.
00:18:46Sleeping pills.
00:18:47Not effective.
00:18:49You always hear about people ending up in comas.
00:18:53Gunshot to the temple.
00:18:55To the temple or the mouth?
00:18:58Because you might survive and then you're just a glorified vegetable.
00:19:01I want chips and salsa.
00:19:14I want chips and salsa.
00:19:18That we can manage.
00:19:20What would happen if you lived and I died?
00:19:29Or the other way around.
00:19:32If we go, we should make sure to go together.
00:19:36Deal.
00:19:36Deal.
00:19:36Deal.
00:19:36Deal.
00:19:37Deal.
00:19:38Deal.
00:19:39Deal.
00:19:40Deal.
00:19:41Deal.
00:19:42Deal.
00:19:43Deal.
00:19:44Deal.
00:19:45Deal.
00:19:46Deal.
00:19:47Deal.
00:19:48Deal.
00:19:49Deal.
00:19:50Deal.
00:19:51Deal.
00:19:52Deal.
00:19:53Deal.
00:19:54Deal.
00:19:55Deal.
00:19:56Deal.
00:19:57Deal.
00:19:58Deal.
00:19:59Deal.
00:20:00Deal.
00:20:01Deal.
00:20:02Deal.
00:20:03Deal.
00:21:39No holds barred.
00:21:40Sounds great.
00:21:41Did we win the lottery?
00:21:42Not exactly.
00:21:44Okay, listen.
00:21:46We have $29,000 left on our cards.
00:21:49We're gonna spend it.
00:21:51We're gonna do all the things we wanna do, live the life we were supposed to live before
00:21:55this crap happened to us and we ended up here.
00:21:57We're just gonna enjoy ourselves.
00:21:59Okay, I thought that we were saving the credit though for when we actually ran out of money
00:22:02and needed to live.
00:22:04We were.
00:22:05We were.
00:22:06But I made one small adjustment to the model.
00:22:09The original plan would've only delayed the inevitable.
00:22:12I mean those cards would've bought us eight months, ten months tops.
00:22:14And I'm being generous.
00:22:15I won't argue with you.
00:22:16You're our financial guru.
00:22:18So how do you pay it back?
00:22:20We don't.
00:22:23I'm confused.
00:22:24We're not gonna pay it back because we don't have to.
00:22:27I'm missing something.
00:22:29It's not like they're gonna give us free money.
00:22:31Actually, they kind of are.
00:22:33Just hear me out, okay?
00:22:34Yeah.
00:22:35Do you like your life the way it is now?
00:22:37No, but...
00:22:38No.
00:22:39Do you think it's gonna get better?
00:22:40I don't know if you could.
00:22:41It's not.
00:22:42It won't.
00:22:43I ran the numbers, okay?
00:22:44We're not gonna be out of debt until we're like over 55.
00:22:46And that's if we can find work.
00:22:47And that's the best case scenario.
00:22:49Don't ask me about the worst.
00:23:11There's no emotion in this, Kevin.
00:23:13It's all facts.
00:23:15This could be the only chance we have at the life we wanted for ourselves.
00:23:19Are you serious?
00:23:21Yes, I'm serious.
00:23:23I've never been more serious in my life.
00:23:25This is crazy.
00:23:27What's crazier?
00:23:29Living a wonderful six months with the person you love?
00:23:32Or living a lifetime of toil and fear and...
00:23:38I know what I'm going for.
00:23:40Maybe we should think about this a little bit more?
00:23:42I don't need to think about it anymore.
00:23:44I've been thinking about it for months.
00:23:47So you're just gonna go ahead and do it, whether I'm in or not?
00:23:52I'm just telling you what I want for myself.
00:23:54Maybe you should go see a therapist.
00:23:56I don't need a therapist, Kevin.
00:23:58A therapist isn't gonna help our financial situation.
00:24:02And it's easy for the doctor to say,
00:24:04Do be content because he is gonna go home to his beautiful suburban home with his white picket fence,
00:24:10which our health insurance helps pay for, by the way.
00:24:12And that's up at the end of the month.
00:24:14So that's great.
00:24:18I just think there has to be a better way.
00:24:22You know, I'm miserable too.
00:24:24I hate what we're experiencing, but I just...
00:24:26I think there has to be some hope.
00:24:30Hope is just a word that people use so they don't have to deal with the cold, hard facts of the situation.
00:24:38Kevin, I...
00:24:42It's the logical decision.
00:24:46I can't, Jennifer.
00:24:48Fine.
00:24:50Great.
00:24:52Then I'll leave you with half the credit cards, okay?
00:24:54You'll have a little less than four months left.
00:24:56Now where are you going?
00:24:58Out!
00:25:12How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:14How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:40I splurged.
00:25:44Caramel macchiato, 375.
00:25:46Sometimes you gotta live.
00:25:50Can we go to Vegas?
00:25:54We always had a blast there.
00:25:56Does this mean you want to end it with me?
00:26:06I don't know.
00:26:08What don't you know?
00:26:10I don't want to live the life that we planned without you.
00:26:16I'd rather have six months with you than spend a lifetime wondering what those last six months would have been like.
00:26:24I love you.
00:26:28Even though we're gonna off each other?
00:26:30That's something that's really weird.
00:26:34How are we gonna do it anyway?
00:26:36Like, who goes first?
00:26:38Uh, we'll figure that out later.
00:26:41Yeah, just a minor detail, huh?
00:26:43So we're gonna keep a video log of what we're planning to do.
00:26:54So our friends and family don't think we decided to do this randomly.
00:26:57I love how you have it all figured out.
00:27:00Just doing what makes sense.
00:27:02It's logical.
00:27:03Funny what seems logical today.
00:27:05Yeah.
00:27:09Come on.
00:27:11Is it on?
00:27:13How do I know?
00:27:14The red light needs to be flashing.
00:27:16And we're recording.
00:27:18Okay.
00:27:19Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:27:21And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:27:23And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:27:26That sounds dramatic.
00:27:29Um...
00:27:31Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:27:32This is Kevin.
00:27:33And we're here to tell you how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:27:37You probably already know this, but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:27:40Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:27:43But then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:27:45Yeah.
00:27:46If we're going downhill anyway, why not be the masters of our fate and decide when and how we go under?
00:27:51We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:27:55Spend what we want, when we want.
00:27:57Yeah, do all the things we wanted to do, but now, given the circumstances, won't get a chance to.
00:28:02So, here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:28:05Do you have anything else to say?
00:28:07No.
00:28:08Um...
00:28:10I do miss everyone.
00:28:12Just know that we had a really great time these last few months.
00:28:14Yeah.
00:28:15Oh, and...
00:28:16I love you, sis.
00:28:18I...
00:28:19I know we haven't talked in a while, but...
00:28:21I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:28:26You should probably shut it off now.
00:28:28So, now that we are free, we just have to figure out what to do.
00:28:44Uh-huh.
00:28:45South of France.
00:28:47Yes.
00:28:48You just want to see the topless beaches again.
00:28:50No.
00:28:51I appreciate French art.
00:28:52Uh-huh.
00:28:53Right.
00:28:54Uh, your turn then.
00:28:55Africa.
00:28:56I've always wanted to see the line at its natural highlight.
00:28:59Yeah, you have big bugs there.
00:29:00That's not high on my list.
00:29:01Come on.
00:29:02Horse-drawn carriage ride through New York City?
00:29:05That's touristy.
00:29:06Oh, and going on safari isn't.
00:29:08Come on.
00:29:09African safari qualifies as exotic.
00:29:11Uh-huh.
00:29:12Carriage ride is generic.
00:29:13All right, Mr. Travel Guide.
00:29:15What is the ultimate experience you could think of doing that we haven't thought of yet?
00:29:19I want to stay on the space station.
00:29:20Yeah.
00:29:21It's a little bit out of our budget.
00:29:23Just a little...
00:29:24Okay.
00:29:25Uh, Dodger tickets.
00:29:26Box seats.
00:29:27Yeah.
00:29:28We can do that.
00:29:30Hmm.
00:29:31Caribbean.
00:29:32British Virgin Islands.
00:29:34I want to walk on the white sand.
00:29:36And I just want to feel the sand in my hands and you and the sun.
00:29:41And just relax.
00:29:46I want to drive fast.
00:29:48Okay.
00:29:49Remember that Formula One racing school we talked about?
00:29:51We can both race Porsches on the track.
00:29:53Yeah.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:55I would do that.
00:29:56I would, I would totally do that.
00:29:57I would do that.
00:29:58I thought you were afraid of high speeds.
00:29:59Well, what's the worst that could happen?
00:30:00Okay.
00:30:01Fair enough.
00:30:02Maybe we make that one of the last things we do.
00:30:04Just in case it doesn't, you know...
00:30:05Yeah.
00:30:06Right.
00:30:07Go as planned.
00:30:08Yeah.
00:30:09I want to go on a hot air balloon ride.
00:30:13Mmm.
00:30:14And drink really expensive champagne.
00:30:16Like, ridiculously expensive.
00:30:18Sounds fantastic.
00:30:19Yeah.
00:30:20Dangled grapes in each other's mouths.
00:30:23Yeah.
00:30:24Sure.
00:30:25It's an image I've always wanted to make happen.
00:30:28Hmm.
00:30:29But we're really gonna do this, you know?
00:30:31I'm ready.
00:30:32Are you?
00:30:33Mmm-hmm.
00:30:34Mm-hmm.
00:30:35A favorite song from Joe Mow possesses.
00:30:37Mm-hmm.
00:30:38Yes.
00:30:39Yes.
00:30:40The song from Joe Mow has always been a contention.
00:30:43Yes.
00:30:44Yes.
00:30:45Yes.
00:30:46Yes.
00:30:47Yes.
00:30:48Yes.
00:30:49Yes.
00:30:50Yes.
00:30:51Yes.
00:30:52Yes.
00:30:53Yes.
00:30:54Yes.
00:30:55Yes.
00:30:57Yes.
00:30:59Yes.
00:31:32I feel kind of free.
00:31:33Is that strange?
00:31:34No.
00:31:35No, it's a relief kind of to know we can do whatever we want.
00:31:39You know, play and make up the rules.
00:31:41Who even needs rules.
00:31:42Good point.
00:31:48You get your whole life thinking that you need to work and make a living.
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:54Yeah, and then there's some big payoff at the end.
00:31:57Golden years retirement.
00:31:58It just doesn't work like that.
00:32:02What's the one thing you would have done if you didn't think it was a responsible thing to do?
00:32:08It's been so long since I've done anything irresponsible.
00:32:12I don't know.
00:32:13What are you feeling right now?
00:32:17I want to stay in an outrageously expensive hotel on the beach.
00:32:21The kind of place you have to take it alone to pay the bill.
00:32:23Yeah, yeah, the place where they put the little chocolates on the pillows.
00:32:25And all the toiletries you could ever need in the bathroom.
00:32:27Yes.
00:32:28The fuzzy bath girls.
00:32:29And order room service.
00:32:30Everything on the menu.
00:32:30Yes, yes, yes.
00:32:31Even the expensive cheese plate.
00:32:33And the wine that's really expensive.
00:32:34But not that good, but really expensive.
00:32:35And eat everything in the little fridge.
00:32:36Yes.
00:32:37Yes, and not care how much it costs.
00:32:40I want to see you in that expensive hotel for the next week.
00:32:45Okay.
00:32:46You do know about that.
00:33:00Don't forget to bring your swimming trucks, because we're going to eat this.
00:33:03Mmm, I'm thinking we'd take that pool naked.
00:33:07I'm sure their curiosity won't go any further than that.
00:33:10Exactly, exactly.
00:33:11Why do we have everything in life?
00:33:12Oh, I cannot wait to eat at the restaurant there.
00:33:15You hungry?
00:33:15Five stars.
00:33:16Pretty hungry.
00:33:17I'll be really hungry by the time we get there.
00:33:19Hey.
00:33:19What?
00:33:20Let's have you wear your A's hat today.
00:33:22I don't like the A's.
00:33:23You do too.
00:33:25I hate the A's.
00:33:25Everyone loves the A's.
00:33:26I really hate them, actually.
00:33:28You can wear them.
00:33:29Um, can I please bring my linen pants?
00:33:32You have to bring linen pants.
00:33:33We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:34Oh my gosh.
00:33:35This is going to be awesome.
00:33:36And my white shoes.
00:33:37Your seersucker pants.
00:33:38Buckled shoes.
00:33:39Yeah.
00:33:39I don't know where those are.
00:33:40I think we may have gotten rid of those.
00:33:41I'm kind of ready.
00:33:42I'm in a fruity drink mood.
00:33:43You know?
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:43You okay?
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:55You don't need too much.
00:33:56Let's go.
00:33:57Pool time.
00:33:58Let's do it.
00:33:59A little pool party?
00:34:00Actually, I think it was over there.
00:34:02I'm going to kind of miss it.
00:34:03Even if it's going for a little while.
00:34:04The roaches?
00:34:06The strange clanging noise at two in the morning?
00:34:08Don't forget our landlady, Ms. Volker.
00:34:10She had the demeanor of a prison warden.
00:34:12Yeah, I know.
00:34:14Let's not wait around here.
00:34:17Let's get out of here.
00:34:17I have a five-star restaurant here.
00:34:21Oh, yeah?
00:34:22Yes.
00:34:22Would you like to eat there?
00:34:23I would.
00:34:24All right.
00:34:25I think we should.
00:34:26Would you?
00:34:27Immediately?
00:34:27Or do you?
00:34:28We can check in.
00:34:29Can we check in?
00:34:30Yeah.
00:34:31What?
00:34:36We're home.
00:34:39It's going to be good.
00:34:41Not bad.
00:34:42Cheers.
00:34:51Cheers.
00:34:56Mmm.
00:34:58Mmm.
00:35:02So, Kevin, how are you feeling right now?
00:35:06I like being on vacation.
00:35:07Missing her apartment?
00:35:09Does the dog miss the pound?
00:35:12All right, my turn.
00:35:13Hand it over.
00:35:22I think we made the right decision.
00:35:24Definitely.
00:35:26Most outrageously priced hotel in the city.
00:35:28Where else can you get that $10 bar of chocolate?
00:35:31I meant about us.
00:35:34Definitely.
00:35:35No regrets.
00:35:37I get to spend some quality time with the person I care about the most.
00:35:40And that's more than most people get in their lives, right?
00:35:44We can grow old and miserable, alone, probably, because one of us will go first.
00:35:50Penniless.
00:35:51Or we can be in control of how and when it ends.
00:35:56Isn't that what most people want?
00:35:58And what's that?
00:36:00To spend the last moments of your life with the person that you love.
00:36:03So, what's next?
00:36:10Sushi.
00:36:11Oh.
00:36:11I want lots and lots of expensive raw fish.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15I'm talking about good stuff.
00:36:16None of that bargain sushi.
00:36:17Let's do it.
00:36:18I just want to order everything.
00:36:19Everything.
00:36:19And not even worry about the cost.
00:36:21I want to get some of the ultra-overpriced, um, Toro.
00:36:23Toro.
00:36:24I love that.
00:36:24Okay.
00:36:25Really?
00:36:26Yes.
00:36:26We're playing by our own rules now.
00:36:28So, we're really doing this?
00:36:31Yeah.
00:36:32Good.
00:36:34Oh, boy.
00:36:35Anything wrong?
00:36:37Oh, Brian is...
00:36:38You know what?
00:36:39I don't want to know.
00:36:41Just...
00:36:42Let's just go get some raw fish.
00:36:45Okay?
00:36:45I'm starving, actually.
00:36:47Finish these drinks and go get sushi.
00:36:50Hop in the pool?
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:52You first.
00:36:52I'll show you my California roll.
00:36:56Let's check out this pool.
00:36:57Here, give me that.
00:36:59Psst.
00:36:59Let me hold your drink.
00:37:03Wait.
00:37:04It looks good, doesn't it?
00:37:05It does.
00:37:10I had to do it.
00:37:11I'm sorry.
00:37:13Is it warm?
00:37:17You coming in?
00:37:18I don't know.
00:37:18I have to test it first.
00:37:20Down here.
00:37:21Touch it, lady.
00:37:23Don't.
00:37:24Get away.
00:37:25Get away.
00:37:25I'm sorry.
00:37:31It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:32Yeah, it is, actually.
00:37:33It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:33Yeah, it is, actually.
00:37:35Yes, man.
00:38:35It's been so long
00:38:43since I've had salmon. It's so
00:38:45good. I'm going to save this moment.
00:38:50No,
00:38:51don't.
00:38:55Everyone's going to think I'm a pig.
00:38:57Turn it off. We love to watch
00:38:59you eat. Bite me.
00:39:01So, how was
00:39:03the sushi meal?
00:39:05Good, considering the last
00:39:06six months, all we've had is peanut butter
00:39:08and canned tuna.
00:39:11It's amazing.
00:39:16What's wrong?
00:39:17Nothing's wrong.
00:39:18Turn it off.
00:39:19What? Turn it off.
00:39:21What is it?
00:39:23We haven't been this happy in a long time.
00:39:25Remember last time we were at the
00:39:33zig-zag counter?
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:35Celebrating my first commission as an architect?
00:39:38I designed an outdoor playground.
00:39:39Yeah, I remember. You got your promotion
00:39:40after that.
00:39:42And we used the bonus as the money for our down payment on the house?
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:46We had some great times there.
00:39:47Wasn't this about stuffing ourselves
00:39:51until we
00:39:51with raw fish?
00:39:53Until we burst?
00:39:54So let's
00:39:54do that.
00:39:56What else are we getting?
00:39:57Everything.
00:39:58Everything.
00:39:59We're at the beginning.
00:40:00Yes.
00:40:01It was good.
00:40:05Was Brian the only one that texts you?
00:40:07He was the only one of our friends
00:40:08that didn't mind
00:40:08we're in the poorhouse.
00:40:10I guess I give him credit for that.
00:40:13Yeah, we should have done that
00:40:14a long time ago.
00:40:16You always have the best ideas.
00:40:20I think I overdid it, though.
00:40:22That last tuna hand roll
00:40:22put me over the edge.
00:40:24That was good, though.
00:40:25I'm losing my physique.
00:40:27You can see the tuna roll.
00:40:28Shut up.
00:40:29I want shoes.
00:40:32Designer shoes.
00:40:34Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:35Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:37Jennifer is en route.
00:40:39I like that coat.
00:40:41I'm looking on you.
00:40:42Yeah?
00:40:42Oh, but I like that one for me.
00:40:44We're going in there.
00:40:45You want to get a matching coat?
00:40:47No.
00:40:47We should walk the whole thing
00:40:49and come up with a plan.
00:40:51No, I think I'm just going to
00:40:52go in every store.
00:40:54Excellent.
00:40:55I mean, that's the plan.
00:40:56Could you please define
00:40:57Hog Wild for us?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00That is when you can go
00:41:01in any store
00:41:02and buy any high-end
00:41:03fashion piece of clothing
00:41:04you want
00:41:04and not care how much it costs.
00:41:06Let's go.
00:41:06And then you can go in the store.
00:41:11And you can go in the store.
00:41:12And you can go in the store.
00:41:13And you can go in the store.
00:41:13And you can go in the store.
00:41:14And you can go in the store.
00:41:14And you can go in the store.
00:41:15And you can go in the store.
00:41:15And you can go in the store.
00:41:16And you can go in the store.
00:41:17And you can go in the store.
00:41:18And you can go in the store.
00:41:18And you can go in the store.
00:41:19And you can go in the store.
00:41:20And you can go in the store.
00:41:21And you can go in the store.
00:41:21And you can go in the store.
00:41:22And you can go in the store.
00:41:22And you can go in the store.
00:41:23And you can go in the store.
00:41:24And you can go in the store.
00:41:25And you can go in the store.
00:41:25What do you think about this one?
00:41:45Yes, very cute.
00:41:47Your rack of shoes on sale, but we don't care about prices, so it doesn't matter.
00:41:53I'm going to do that too.
00:41:54Get rid of it.
00:41:56There you go.
00:41:57Actually, I like these.
00:41:59These are super cute.
00:42:01Those are very you.
00:42:02Yeah, these are fun.
00:42:05Yeah.
00:42:05I don't know, like kind of rockabilly.
00:42:07Would you do that?
00:42:07Totally.
00:42:08See, I think now we're heading in the right direction.
00:42:10You like black.
00:42:11You do.
00:42:12I do.
00:42:14Let's go try these on.
00:42:16Let's do it.
00:42:22So I'm going to try this one.
00:42:23Yeah, you do.
00:42:23Try it on.
00:42:37It looks good you've changed.
00:42:38I'm trying on some new clothes.
00:42:40Mm-hmm.
00:42:41First time in a long time.
00:42:45Yeah.
00:42:45I'm going to turn it off.
00:42:50I didn't mean to see that.
00:42:55I can't wait to wear these.
00:42:57Yes, let's go put them on.
00:43:00Especially the laundry, right?
00:43:02Mm-hmm.
00:43:03It was a lot of shopping.
00:43:05Mm-hmm.
00:43:08It used to be us.
00:43:09What?
00:43:12Moving at light speed, aiming for the stars.
00:43:15Brilliant light beckoning us towards a future that was never to be.
00:43:20You're so poetic, Kevin.
00:43:22Oh, my minor was English lit.
00:43:24Oh, I was there when you failed your final in Miss Urban's Legends.
00:43:28That's not fair.
00:43:29That is not fair.
00:43:30Professor Ballantine had it out for me from the beginning because she overheard me talking
00:43:34about her nasty divorce.
00:43:34You always did have a way of winning people over.
00:43:37I won you over, didn't I?
00:43:38Barely.
00:43:40I think you had to ask me out like over 26 times.
00:43:42You were counting?
00:43:44Most guys would have taken the hint.
00:43:46I was committed.
00:43:47But aren't you happy now?
00:43:50Yeah.
00:43:52I hate to spend the rest of my life with the man I adore.
00:43:56And then end it with him.
00:43:58A work the girl asked for.
00:43:59Mm-hmm.
00:44:01Mm.
00:44:04Let me see who it is.
00:44:07Who could it be?
00:44:08Oh, I wish it would not.
00:44:09Let me see. Is it Brian?
00:44:12Since a little hostility?
00:44:14Okay, I have a deal for you.
00:44:16Today will be a text-free day.
00:44:18Brian will have to go 24 hours without your sage advice.
00:44:20What are you offering in return?
00:44:24I will be the most loving, wonderful wife you've ever known.
00:44:30I think you're getting the better end of the deal.
00:44:33Mm-mm.
00:44:34No, I think you are.
00:44:56Okay.
00:44:57What's next?
00:44:59You said you wanted to go to Vegas, right?
00:45:01I guess, yeah.
00:45:02So let's go?
00:45:04At this moment?
00:45:05Yeah.
00:45:05We can't. We don't have reservations.
00:45:07We just get in the car and go.
00:45:10Shouldn't we pack?
00:45:12No. I just bought some clothes. We can buy clothes there. We just go.
00:45:16I can live with that.
00:45:19When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:21Maybe I always was, and you just didn't notice.
00:45:24I think in four years of marriage, I might have noticed.
00:45:26Well, that was a before, when I thought we had a future.
00:45:30No, it doesn't really matter. We can just live in the moment.
00:45:35I like this new lifestyle.
00:45:38It's a bummer that it's going to be over so soon.
00:45:42It ends for everyone.
00:45:43Just know now when.
00:45:48So let's go.
00:45:49All right. Let's do it.
00:45:50Vegas.
00:45:52Vegas.
00:46:00In four hours, I'm going to be sitting by a pool and sipping a Mai Tai.
00:46:06This will not do.
00:46:07What?
00:46:08We need an upgrade.
00:46:10We need new wheels.
00:46:11We need new wheels.
00:46:12We need new wheels.
00:46:12We need new wheels.
00:46:13We need new wheels.
00:46:14We need new wheels.
00:46:15We need new wheels.
00:46:16We need new wheels.
00:46:17We need new wheels.
00:46:18We need new wheels.
00:46:19We need new wheels.
00:46:20We need new wheels.
00:46:21We need new wheels.
00:46:22We need new wheels.
00:46:23We need new wheels.
00:46:24We need new wheels.
00:46:25We need new wheels.
00:46:26We need new wheels.
00:46:27We need new wheels.
00:46:28We need new wheels.
00:46:29We need new wheels.
00:46:30We need new wheels.
00:46:31We need new wheels.
00:46:32We need new wheels.
00:46:33We need new wheels.
00:46:34We need new wheels.
00:46:35We need new wheels.
00:46:36We need new wheels.
00:46:37We need new wheels.
00:46:38We need new wheels.
00:46:39Well, you can take what you want to believe
00:46:42If you take what I say to the truth
00:46:44A fundamental recall is all that we require
00:46:49To blame it all on you
00:46:51Well, let's try looking at the bright side
00:46:55And we're gonna fly the eyes of the road
00:46:58Let's try thinking of the good times
00:47:01And we're gonna ride the way my heart is
00:47:05Too bad we didn't get the Lamborghini, huh?
00:47:20Yeah, we're really slow in it now
00:47:22Yeah, it's okay, I like living out my high school muscle car fantasies
00:47:26Yeah, just like every other red-blooded American male
00:47:28Next thing you know, we're gonna watch football and eating steak
00:47:31Absolutely
00:47:33So, Kevin
00:47:38What's the first thing you're gonna do when you get to the city of Sin?
00:47:41I think you better turn the camera off for this answer
00:47:43I'm thinking everyone wants to know
00:47:45Uh-uh, this is a PG suicide log
00:47:47I wanna know
00:47:48I think everyone wants to know
00:47:49I'm gonna...
00:47:53Shoot crap
00:47:54And then move on to roulette
00:47:56Yeah, right
00:47:57Come on
00:47:58Honestly?
00:47:59Mm-hmm
00:47:59This is kind of embarrassing
00:48:01Who cares? We're gonna be gone
00:48:03That's true
00:48:04All right, first we're gonna check in
00:48:07Uh-uh
00:48:08And then we're gonna go up to the room
00:48:13Open the door
00:48:14And then we're gonna kiss you passionately
00:48:17Tell me about the kiss
00:48:18Passion?
00:48:20Do we really? Do we really have to do this?
00:48:22Come on
00:48:23Yes, yes
00:48:24Okay
00:48:25Then as I throw you on the bed
00:48:29I'm gonna tear the clothes from you
00:48:32I'm gonna start kissing you
00:48:34Everywhere
00:48:35Every inch of you
00:48:37Just work my way down
00:48:39Every curve
00:48:40And rediscover your womanhood
00:48:43Every inch
00:48:45You're bad, Kevin Elfern
00:48:47Bad boy
00:48:48You're bad, Kevin Elfern
00:48:52You can make what you want
00:48:55To believe
00:48:56If you take what I say
00:48:58To the truth
00:48:59Let's try
00:49:01To remember the good times
00:49:03And I'm gonna lie
00:49:04The way I'm about
00:49:05To this world
00:49:06You can follow
00:49:08If you're still on
00:49:10I will be lost
00:49:11And there'll be a snow
00:49:13The sun starts quicker
00:49:14Every day
00:49:16If this is a waste of time
00:49:18I will just walk away
00:49:20Well, you can see right through
00:49:29Yeah
00:49:30Remember what happened
00:49:32In this very spot?
00:49:34No
00:49:35You don't remember?
00:49:38I do
00:49:38You're proposing me right over there
00:49:40Actually, I think it was right over there
00:49:43Did you mean what you said
00:49:46In the car
00:49:46Mm-hmm
00:49:48Well, let's all go around here
00:49:57I feel like this is our wedding night
00:50:01I can't wait to see the room
00:50:02I hope they have a jacuzzi
00:50:04Who are you
00:50:04There, yes
00:50:05I don't mind
00:50:07Oh, my God.
00:50:37Oh, my God.
00:51:07Oh, my God.
00:51:37Oh, my God.
00:52:07Oh, my God.
00:52:37Oh, my God.
00:52:38Oh, my God.
00:52:39Oh, my God.
00:52:40Oh, my God.
00:52:41Yeah, it's just not enough.
00:52:43Let's gamble.
00:52:47Come up on the fountain with me.
00:52:49And do what?
00:52:53Milady.
00:52:54Now, what was it you said?
00:52:56Never chuffed her.
00:52:56No, no.
00:52:57What did you say?
00:52:58You said something.
00:53:00I don't want to ever be with anyone else.
00:53:06Let's get married again.
00:53:08What?
00:53:09What did you say?
00:53:10I mean, take vows.
00:53:11Tell each other we're going to spend the rest of our lives with each other.
00:53:14That's what I thought you said.
00:53:16This guy can't even say I love you to me.
00:53:19Nope.
00:53:23Oh.
00:53:24Oh.
00:53:25Kevin, Alpern, do you love me?
00:53:29You know I do.
00:53:31Then say those three little words.
00:53:35I think you already know the answer to that.
00:53:38I think you should say it.
00:53:39I couldn't hear that one.
00:53:44Say it again.
00:53:47Attention, everyone.
00:53:49I love this woman.
00:53:50I love this woman.
00:53:53I love this woman more than any man has ever loved a woman before.
00:53:57Oh, my God.
00:53:59Does that work for you?
00:54:01You think that's the wine talking?
00:54:03I kept up my end of the bargain.
00:54:07You're crazy.
00:54:10Will you marry me?
00:54:14Yeah.
00:54:19Good.
00:54:19Let's go.
00:54:21I want to remove your garter belt this time.
00:54:23I didn't get to it at our first wedding.
00:54:25At our first wedding?
00:54:26Yeah.
00:54:27And here you are at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada, once again in front
00:54:36of the altar of marriage.
00:54:37Kevin, do you take Jennifer once again to be your wedded wife?
00:54:41I do.
00:54:42And do you still promise to love and honor, respect, and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:48I do.
00:54:49Jennifer, do you take Kevin once again to be your wedded husband?
00:54:52I do.
00:54:53And do you still promise to love and honor, respect, and keep him all the days of your life?
00:54:58I do.
00:54:59Father God, we thank you for Kevin and Jennifer, for their love for each other, their commitment
00:55:03to each other, and the celebration of four years of holy matrimony together.
00:55:07We ask you to continue to give them courage and strength to live up to the sacred vows
00:55:12that they are taking again here today.
00:55:14As we ask you to bless these rings and their exchange, and they continue to live, and they
00:55:19are living.
00:55:19Amen.
00:55:29Amen.
00:55:59I'm sorry.
00:56:01I'm sorry.
00:56:23Whoa.
00:56:25Muxury suite, baby.
00:56:33Happy honeymoon.
00:56:41Brain hurts.
00:56:45Maybe we didn't need that Goldschlager,
00:56:48followed by that Jagermeister.
00:56:51That's a winning combination.
00:56:53For a hangover.
00:56:59How'd you end up down there?
00:57:02I think I found your knee in the night.
00:57:07I'd do it again.
00:57:23I'd do it again.
00:57:31Hey.
00:57:34Cheers.
00:57:35Jane, can we move here forever?
00:57:47Vegas is everything.
00:57:51Good food, good people, good vices.
00:57:53Where else can you get crab legs at two in the morning and then shoot traps until dawn?
00:58:00Nowhere.
00:58:01Your point?
00:58:02My point is that Vegas is paradise.
00:58:06And I don't wanna leave.
00:58:10Are you serious about going through with it?
00:58:13Yes.
00:58:15I was.
00:58:17I am.
00:58:18How much longer do we have?
00:58:20I don't know.
00:58:22Give or take a month, depending on how much we have left on our credit cards.
00:58:25How much are we going through?
00:58:28I'd say like six or eight grand.
00:58:30Six or eight grand?
00:58:32Living like rock stars is expensive, Kevin.
00:58:34Yeah, I know, but it's not like we rented jets or threw parties or...
00:58:43Are you having second thoughts?
00:58:46Honestly?
00:58:50No.
00:58:53I mean, kinda.
00:58:55Yeah.
00:58:56It made it sound like a good idea when you came up with it.
00:58:58You think it's gonna get better?
00:59:00I don't know.
00:59:01It's not.
00:59:02We've...
00:59:04We've already gone over this.
00:59:13Would you do it without me?
00:59:15No.
00:59:16No.
00:59:18No.
00:59:20We're in this together.
00:59:25And so, Kevin and Jennifer make their way from the city of Osin
00:59:29and to the next leg of their adventure.
00:59:32Where will these wandering souls end up?
00:59:35The next stop of the intrepid adventurers will be...
00:59:38What's next on the list?
00:59:40Uh, I don't know.
00:59:41Let me look.
00:59:43Next on the list was African Safari,
00:59:46followed by the trip to the south of France,
00:59:49and then the outback of Australia.
00:59:51I vote outback.
00:59:52No.
00:59:53That would be diverging from the plan.
00:59:55Yeah, but we're not set in stone.
00:59:56We can diverge from the plan.
00:59:57Ah, you know me.
00:59:58Once I make a plan, I like to stick to it.
00:59:59Yeah, you like to stick to it.
01:00:00Yeah.
01:00:02But there's all kinds of crazy diseases we could catch, you know?
01:00:04Like Ebola, where you bleed out all your orifices.
01:00:06No, they have shots for that.
01:00:07No, they don't.
01:00:08It's one of those diseases where there's no cure.
01:00:10Once you get it, you're gone.
01:00:12Oh.
01:00:16Hi, Mom.
01:00:17I'm here.
01:00:18I'm getting your room ready for you.
01:00:19Um, I don't know if we're gonna make it for Thanksgiving anymore.
01:00:22Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
01:00:24We just, we can't afford the plane tickets.
01:00:26Well, we'll miss you both very much.
01:00:29I appreciate that.
01:00:31Yes, he's looking.
01:00:33No job leads yet.
01:00:34I told you.
01:00:36All right.
01:00:37I love you, too.
01:00:38You actually just lied to your mother.
01:00:41What was I supposed to tell her?
01:00:43That we're planning on offing each other and we won't be around come Turkey Day.
01:00:47Yeah, that would have played out well.
01:00:49Oh, come on. Your mom would have taken it in stride.
01:00:51Not funny.
01:01:08I called her.
01:01:09I'm mentally sick.
01:01:10No.
01:01:11I'm feeling sorry.
01:01:12I'm just kidding.
01:01:13I'm feeling sorry.
01:01:14I got to go.
01:01:15You're a bit scared.
01:01:16I'm feeling sorry.
01:01:18Oh, my God.
01:01:19Yah.
01:01:20That's all, my God.
01:01:21Oh, my God.
01:01:22Well, I can't even walk you around.
01:01:23Alright.
01:01:24I'm feeling.
01:01:25Oh, my God.
01:01:26You're cool.
01:01:27Yeah.
01:01:28Oh, my God.
01:01:29I'm feeling a little different.
01:01:30I'm feeling.
01:01:31Oh.
01:01:32Oh, my God.
01:01:33This is a way.
01:01:35I'm feeling.
01:01:36I'll be right back.
01:02:36None of the cards are working.
01:03:06You can't cancel those cards.
01:03:08There are cards.
01:03:10Well, turn them back on.
01:03:12What do you mean you can't do that?
01:03:15No, I'm not going to reapply.
01:03:17Those are our cards.
01:03:18I need those cards.
01:03:20No, no, I'm sorry.
01:03:22No.
01:03:23You know, you have a nice day.
01:03:25No, thank you for ruining the rest of what's left of my life.
01:03:30They can't cancel those cards.
01:03:32There are cards.
01:03:35Aren't you the least bit upset?
01:03:39You don't seem like it.
01:03:41How are we supposed to pay for anything?
01:03:42We can't pay for Paris or the Outback or the safari with our good looks alone.
01:03:48Maybe you could because you're so pretty.
01:03:51As pretty as Beth.
01:03:53What?
01:03:54What are we going to do?
01:04:01No, Kevin, the question is what are you going to do about Beth having your baby?
01:04:06What are you talking about?
01:04:08Who's Beth?
01:04:09Because you got a text message from her while you were pumping gas and she mentioned how nicely she's coming along and that you'd be a daddy soon.
01:04:15And I didn't think you wanted to have kids, Kevin, or was that just not with me?
01:04:20Is that it?
01:04:22No.
01:04:26When were you going to tell me you were going to be a father, huh?
01:04:29We could have thrown a party.
01:04:31It takes time to plan a baby shower, Kevin.
01:04:33You got to have some consideration for the family flying in from out of town.
01:04:36But then again, Kevin, consideration was never one of your strong suits, was it?
01:04:41Or you could have had the party local for her.
01:04:44Her family wouldn't have to fly anywhere.
01:04:46Where is she from?
01:04:48Let's see, area code 609, serving all of greater Silicon Valley.
01:04:52What are you doing hooking up with a girl so far away, Kevin?
01:04:56Wouldn't you want someone closer for easier access?
01:05:01I know.
01:05:03When you were working on that condo development, your credit card bills seemed a little high.
01:05:09You know, if you're ever going to cheat on anyone again, Kevin, you should consider using cash.
01:05:13For your extramarital affairs.
01:05:15That or marry a really stupid girl.
01:05:17You know, I read all of the texts, Kevin.
01:05:21I especially like the one about your love muscle.
01:05:24Or how you want to take her doggy style.
01:05:27Or how you want to have a threesome with her.
01:05:30Which you said, of course, that you didn't want to do with anyone.
01:05:33So were you lying to me, or to her, or to all of us?
01:05:36Huh?
01:05:39God, are you even capable of being committed to one person, Kevin?
01:05:48Turn that off.
01:05:49Why, Kevin?
01:05:50Turn that off!
01:05:51Why should I?
01:05:52See, I can raise my voice too, Kevin.
01:05:53Does that help us?
01:05:54Turn it off!
01:05:55You know what, and to answer your question about earlier, about what are we going to do,
01:06:00it's not about we anymore, because we are getting divorced.
01:06:02Fine.
01:06:03Fine.
01:06:04Yeah, it's fine that you just act like a complete douchebag and break apart.
01:06:08Heart.
01:06:19Let's just go.
01:06:20Drives.
01:06:38How could you do this?
01:06:50You want to know how I could do it?
01:06:53Because I never loved you, Jennifer.
01:06:55Because how could I want to be with someone who was always needling me about everything?
01:06:59Everything had to be so planned out.
01:07:01Everything was a number, you know?
01:07:03There was a plan we couldn't diverge from.
01:07:06You know there was never any spontaneity.
01:07:09You slept with someone else because I wasn't spontaneous?
01:07:12I made a mistake, alright?
01:07:15You call getting your girlfriend pregnant a mistake?
01:07:18She's not my girlfriend.
01:07:26Pull over.
01:07:27What?
01:07:28Pull over!
01:07:36Jen what are you doing?
01:07:37Go away Kevin.
01:07:38You can't just walk away.
01:07:42I can do whatever I want just like you can.
01:07:58You'll die out here.
01:07:59Good! Wasn't that the plan, anyway?
01:08:02I'm sorry about what I said.
01:08:05Sorry about what you said or sorry about what you did?
01:08:08Both.
01:08:10What were you thinking?
01:08:14I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:17I want a divorce.
01:08:20You're gonna throw our marriage over this?
01:08:23We already did.
01:08:29Who is she?
01:08:31She's just someone I met.
01:08:33Great. You're having a baby with someone you don't even know?
01:08:35Are you out of your mind?
01:08:37I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:39Me too.
01:08:41Look, it was nothing. It was just one time.
01:08:43It wasn't even serious.
01:08:44Great. Awesome.
01:08:45So obviously you're not even serious about us.
01:08:50Can we just get back in the car?
01:08:52It's freezing out here.
01:08:53Good. I hope you freeze to death.
01:08:59Just take me home.
01:09:19Look, I know this may not be the best time to talk about this, but what are we gonna do with whatever new we spent?
01:09:24I'll pay it back.
01:09:26How?
01:09:27I don't know, Kevin, but I'm not gonna end my life with someone who obviously didn't want to spend it with me.
01:09:37I do love you, Jennifer.
01:09:40Yeah, you have some twisted idea of love.
01:09:43If I didn't love you, would I want to end my life with you?
01:09:47You weren't gonna do it out of love for me. We were both miserable.
01:09:50I was only gonna go through with it because of you.
01:09:52Don't give me that. You're just as miserable as me. You were just looking for a way out and I gave it to you.
01:09:57We agreed we were gonna do it together.
01:09:59Yeah, well that was before all this.
01:10:01You're gonna do it alone?
01:10:03Don't worry about it, Kevin.
01:10:06What about our plans?
01:10:08I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and miserable than end my life with you.
01:10:13But if you want to go ahead and kill yourself, go ahead. I don't care.
01:10:15I will then.
01:10:22Fine.
01:10:24And don't expect me to feel guilty about it because I won't.
01:10:28You wanna know how I'm gonna do it?
01:10:31No, I don't care.
01:10:32Oh, you don't care at all how I'm gonna...
01:10:33No! And when we get back, I'm moving out.
01:10:37I'll get my stuff later.
01:10:38Where are you going?
01:10:40That's really none of your business, is it?
01:10:46Jen, I really think you're taking this too far.
01:10:48Please! Just...
01:10:50Don't talk to me for the duration of this trip.
01:11:08Jennifer, wait! Wait! Just hear me out.
01:11:21Please reconsider.
01:11:22I have to go.
01:11:23But talk about this.
01:11:25I know what I did was really stupid, but then it was never meant to be more than just a...
01:11:28Just a fling?
01:11:30I know I sound pathetic and you hate me now, but...
01:11:32Yeah, you got that right. On both counts.
01:11:35Probably the smartest thing you've said all day.
01:11:38Goodbye, Kevin.
01:11:41Goodbye, Kevin.
01:12:08Bye...
01:12:09Goodbye.
01:12:10Bye...
01:12:12Goodbye.
01:12:13Bugün's born.
01:13:08Amen.
01:13:38Amen.
01:14:08Hey Jennifer, it's Kevin.
01:14:32You probably already knew that.
01:14:36Anyway, just give me a call when you get this.
01:14:40It would be great.
01:14:42Okay, bye.
01:14:46Hey Jennifer, you know Sue.
01:14:50Hey Jen, it's me, Kevin.
01:14:54I haven't heard from you.
01:14:56Just give me a call when you get this.
01:15:00Okay.
01:15:10Hey Jen, this is Kevin.
01:15:14Sorry to bother you.
01:15:16Some more bills showed up.
01:15:18So I just was thinking that we should talk at some point.
01:15:26Hope you're doing well.
01:15:28Okay, call me back.
01:15:30Bye.
01:15:32Bye.
01:15:34Bye.
01:15:36Bye.
01:15:38Bye.
01:15:40Bye.
01:15:42Hey Jen.
01:15:44I love you.
01:15:46I miss you.
01:15:58Hi.
01:15:59I'm Kevin Alpern.
01:16:01Hi. I'm Kevin Alpern. I royally screwed up. I did some really stupid things.
01:16:14Originally, Jennifer and I were going to end it together, but after careful thought, I decided to go it alone.
01:16:25I don't want to spend the rest of my life without her. I do love her.
01:16:28But that's not the reason I'm doing it. I just have that hunch that things aren't going to get better.
01:16:37I mean, you know my story. Credit card debt up the wazoo, and pretty soon I won't even be living here.
01:16:44This will feel like luxury compared to what's next. I don't even want to think about the future.
01:16:58I got an eviction notice today. They said they were going to kick me out of here.
01:17:07Well, that's the landlord.
01:17:09I like people who keep their promises.
01:17:11Well, I'm officially homeless now. Everything I own in one suitcase.
01:17:28It's kind of liberating in a way. No bills, no rules to follow, no responsibilities.
01:17:46Yeah, maybe. I mean, some mistakes. Or also some very big errors in judgment.
01:17:53It'll be okay.
01:18:08This is my new home. Spacious, huh?
01:18:12I'm going to make the front seat the kitchen, and the back seat's going to be the living room and the bedroom.
01:18:34I miss her.
01:18:37What can I say?
01:18:38I miss her.
01:18:42I miss her.
01:19:12I miss her.
01:19:42Kevin?
01:20:03Hey.
01:20:04What are you doing here?
01:20:07Oh, I was just passing by.
01:20:09Really?
01:20:10Yeah.
01:20:12I've been meaning to call you.
01:20:16Really?
01:20:17Yeah, about the credit cards.
01:20:19Um, I've been getting a lot of calls about collections.
01:20:23I think we should figure out a way to pay them back.
01:20:26Yeah, we probably should.
01:20:31So, how have you been?
01:20:34I've been really good.
01:20:36Yeah?
01:20:37Yeah.
01:20:41I've been miserable.
01:20:43I got evicted from our apartment.
01:20:46I've been living in my car for a while.
01:20:50I'm actually still living in my car.
01:20:54I applied for a couple of architecture positions.
01:20:58No calls back yet, but...
01:21:02I'm really sorry, Kevin.
01:21:03Oh, don't be.
01:21:08Something to be said for downward mobility, you know?
01:21:10There's a freedom in it.
01:21:14How about you?
01:21:17Um, I got hired by a new financial planning firm.
01:21:21I had to take a pay cut, but I'm not complaining.
01:21:26That's great.
01:21:27Good.
01:21:28You deserve it.
01:21:29Congratulations.
01:21:30Yeah.
01:21:32I guess I should thank you for being a total jerk-off.
01:21:35I guess, you know, if I go along with the plan...
01:21:38I don't know.
01:21:41Hmm.
01:21:48Are you seeing anyone?
01:21:50Why do you care?
01:21:52Just wondering.
01:21:53no not that it's any of your business we're separated right you're totally right but none
01:22:01of my business guess you're not planning on killing yourself now huh no no i don't know
01:22:10what i was thinking with that i i have my whole life to pay off those debts i'll just figure it
01:22:18out move on but we did have a good time we did
01:22:28well it was really good seeing you you too
01:22:39jennifer if there was someone i'd want to kill myself with it would be you because i don't
01:22:52think i want to live my life without you when you first came up with this crazy plan i went
01:22:58along with it because i didn't think we would go through with it but this time part has reminded
01:23:02me why i fell in love with you why i want to spend the rest of my life with you if you
01:23:09can find any way to forgive me i will do anything in my power to make it up to you
01:23:13i love you so much jennifer i love you too kevin
01:23:18i'd like to say that's what i said to her but i didn't good luck with your new position
01:23:34hey things will get better keep your head up
01:23:41well
01:23:46alright
01:23:48go
01:23:50let me know
01:23:52go
01:23:56go
01:23:57everything
01:23:59you
01:24:02Jennifer moved on with her life.
01:24:05You know, workaholic that she is, she bros did her job and fell in love with someone
01:24:24that deserved her.
01:24:30That's for me.
01:24:37I stuck to the plan.
01:24:55You see how the light is color blue.
01:25:02And all I feel is so much faith from learning how to survive.
01:25:12And all I got is one more chance.
01:25:19It does die.
01:25:21We were colored blue.
01:25:26All on me, all on you, colored blue.
01:25:33Fall on me, fall into you.
01:25:40See how the air is white and cold.
01:25:47See how the air is white and cold.
01:25:54The lines on her face mean she's getting old.
01:26:01And all I feel is so much hope from learning how to survive.
01:26:08And all I got is one last dance.
01:26:15I hope it ends tonight.
01:26:22And all I got is one last dance.
01:26:26I hope it ends tonight.
01:26:29I hope it ends tonight.
01:26:30I hope it ends tonight.
01:26:31I hope it ends tonight.
01:26:32Colour blue
01:26:36All I need
01:26:40I'm never out of time
01:26:57I'm never too late
01:27:01I'm never too shy
01:27:05I'm never too safe
01:27:09But nothing is real
01:27:13Our love is not fake
01:27:17Always a big deal
01:27:21So give me a break
01:27:31Like a runaway train to the other side
01:27:35Just try to get a little sunshine
01:27:43Like a runaway train to the other side
01:27:51Just try to get a little sunshine
01:27:58Like a runaway train to the other side
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