00:00Well, I have no interest in continuing something that's not going anywhere.
00:09What, did it fall out?
00:15It didn't fall out.
00:20Oh, shit.
00:23Oh, my God.
00:24Oh, my God.
00:25You want to be fucking kidding me?
00:26Well, isn't the base supposed to stop it from going in?
00:28I must have used too much lube.
00:30Oh, my God.
00:32I can't reach it.
00:34Okay, do you want me to Google something?
00:35Just...
00:37Go get it.
00:40Okay.
00:41Uh...
00:42Okay.
00:43Yes.
00:44Okay.
00:45I'm...
00:46Okay.
00:47Just relax.
00:48Oh, my God.
00:49This was such a dumb idea.
00:50Oh, my God.
00:53It's just...
00:55I don't think the Uber driver sensed anything.
01:10This is the most humiliating night of my life.
01:21I'm sure they see this kind of thing all the time.
01:24Really?
01:25All the time?
01:26Oh, yeah.
01:28People are always sticking stuff up there.
01:30You know, you can go.
01:32You don't have to stay.
01:34I want to.
01:37You feel obligated to.
01:47When's the last time you were in the hospital?
01:50Guess it must have been when I was eight years old.
01:53My sister pushed me into the front door of our house, busted my lip wide open.
01:57Well, you probably deserved it.
01:59Probably.
02:00Yeah.
02:01Got a bunch of stitches.
02:03Even have a scar, too.
02:05Can't see it, but it's under the beard.
02:07Oh, yeah.
02:08I never miss that.
02:09Mm-hmm.
02:15How about you?
02:17Uh, six months ago to say goodbye to my grandma.
02:20Oh.
02:22I'm sorry.
02:23That sucks.
02:24Yeah, thanks.
02:25Do you ever think your dead relatives can just spy on you from beyond the grave and see
02:33all the gross shit you do when you're by yourself or with a partner or something?
02:37No, I just think they probably have better things to do.
02:40Okay, well, not all the time then.
02:43Okay, but tonight, let's say, for example, my grandma is up there floating around in heaven,
02:48presumably, and she's like, oh, I think I'll check in on my beautiful Natalie.
02:55Natalie tonight.
02:56What could she possibly be?
02:58Oh, my goodness!
03:00My baby!
03:05She used to warn me about guys like you.
03:08Really?
03:09Who are guys like me?
03:11You know, fuckboys.
03:14Granny.
03:16She didn't actually say fuckboy, did she?
03:18She'd be surprised.
03:19Wow.
03:20I do not care for that designation.
03:23Oh.
03:24How about emotionally unavailable, then?
03:27Oh, it's probably close here.
03:29Hmm.
03:30That's kind of my thing, dating emotionally unavailable guys.
03:38My therapist thinks it's because, deep down, I think that I don't deserve happiness.
03:48And I always just laugh her off, but maybe she's right, you know?
03:52Are your parents happy?
04:04Are you my shrink now?
04:06No.
04:07I just, um, I read this thing once where we don't want to have more than our parents did.
04:14Even if we say otherwise.
04:16Hmm.
04:17Well, my dad died when I was really young.
04:22My mom never remarried.
04:24She never really dated.
04:25So, yeah, maybe that's part of it.
04:32What's fucked is I just keep throwing myself into these things, just so trusting.
04:43It's like I wish all of the heartbreak would make me more guarded, or more cynical, or just more protected.
04:50But, um, that's not me.
04:55It's not me to not be hopeful, or trusting, or not to love.
05:01I guess it's just my programming.
05:05So, what do we think?
05:19Is it a boy or a girl?
05:21Or do we not want to know?
05:22You put that back?
05:23Hmm?
05:24Put that back.
05:25That's right.
05:26Put that back.
05:27You know, you really don't have to stay.
05:30I'll be fine.
05:31I'm staying.
05:32Get over it.
05:33You know, I can't tell.
05:35Are you a nice guy?
05:36Are you an asshole?
05:38Huh?
05:39I'm both.
05:40I'm a hybrid.
05:41I guess that explains it, then.
05:43You know, you really led me on there.
05:56Well, I thought I was being upfront with you.
05:59I did say right from the beginning that I'm not looking for anything serious.
06:01Oh yeah, you're not looking for anything serious.
06:03We all say that, and we all secretly hope that someone will come along and change our minds.
06:11Yeah, I suppose that's true.
06:16So it's just me, then?
06:18No, it isn't.
06:19Natalie, you're amazing.
06:24You're kind.
06:25You're brilliant.
06:27Total freak in bed.
06:30But...
06:33But...
06:35I don't know.
06:36I guess we're just not the right fit.
06:39Okay, say more about that.
06:44Okay.
06:47Well, I don't know.
06:51Well, I mean, for one, our diets are completely different.
06:54I mean, you're a vegan.
06:55What would we even eat?
06:57We've managed so far.
06:59Yeah, so far, but that's the kind of thing that becomes a problem down the road.
07:03I mean, I love cheese.
07:05Real cheese.
07:06I can't do any more of this cashew cheese of yours.
07:08Oh, yeah, tell me.
07:09Tell me this is about cashew cheese.
07:11I'm not explaining this right.
07:13I...
07:14You think?
07:15I don't know.
07:17I guess I just don't feel that thing.
07:20What thing?
07:21That thing.
07:24That rush.
07:25That...
07:26Intensity.
07:28Oh.
07:29Well, if you felt like this, why didn't you say something earlier?
07:33I guess I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
07:35Great job.
07:37You aced that.
07:38You know that feeling you're talking about that rush that can't be the foundation for
07:51a relationship because that shit fades.
07:53That's not what love is.
07:54Yes.
07:55I know that.
07:56Really?
07:57Because it sounds like to me you think that love is supposed to be some sort of laser show
08:02all the time.
08:03Nope.
08:04That's not at all what I believe.
08:05Well, what do you believe then?
08:08I believe that love is something that's made in the trenches.
08:13It's two people fighting for it even when it's hard.
08:17Right.
08:24Right.
08:25Right.
08:26But that's why that initial rush is important because it propels the whole thing forward.
08:30It's like relationship jet fuel.
08:31No, and I think you're just chasing some idealistic idea of connection that doesn't exist.
08:36Well, I do know that it exists because I've had it before.
08:40Well, why don't you go call her then?
08:44Jesus.
08:46Well, you may have noticed that she's not around.
08:52And you know why?
08:56Because things end.
08:59They always do.
09:01So what's the point in getting invested in something that's just transitory?
09:11Let me ask you this.
09:13you this. Would you give up all the good times you had with this person to never feel the pain of
09:19losing them? No, I guess not. The pain of losing someone is the price of having them.
09:32If you're going to avoid the bad, you're going to keep out all the good too.
09:43So how you feeling? Okay. Yeah? Lighter. You going to keep it? Do what with it? Put it on my mantle? I just mean if at first you don't succeed. No. I hope this experience hasn't soured you on butt play. Oh my god, okay. You know what? The butt plug was not the biggest pain in my ass tonight. Oh, jokes. Love jokes. So funny.
10:13All right, Mr. Hybrid. This is me. Want to keep walking for a bit? It's cold out. We could go get something for breakfast. Know anything that's open around here?
10:38There's a really good vegan place around the corner. Perfect. We have cashew cheese.
10:43I love cashew cheese. You love cashew cheese. It's so good for you. It's so good for the environment.
10:48Yes.
10:48Yeah.
10:52Okay.
10:52Yeah.
10:54Oh yeah.
10:54Yeah.
10:54Yeah.
10:54Yeah.
10:54Yeah.
10:55The ground thing r does get together.
10:56Yeah.
10:56Yeah.
10:57Yeah.
10:58Yeah.
10:58Yeah.
10:58Yeah.
10:58Yeah.
11:00Yeah.
11:01Yeah.
11:01Yeah.
11:01Yeah.
11:01I like it.
11:02I like it.
11:05I like it.
11:06It's a very good.
11:06I like it.
11:07Yeah.
11:11Yeah.
11:12Wow.
11:12Yeah.
11:15Yeah.
11:15I'm really good.
11:16Yeah.
11:17You
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