- 2 days ago
In this X Space from 22 November 2025, philosopher Stefan Molyneux discusses the essential links between love, trust, and virtue. He emphasizes that love depends on consistent behavior and mutual trust, particularly in the dynamics of male-female relationships. Drawing from personal experience, Molyneux highlights the importance of honesty and communication while encouraging listeners to reflect on their relationships and foster deeper connections rooted in admiration and support.
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00:00hmm i don't know is that working sorry i tried a external microphone on an iphone i don't know
00:09that it worked i don't know that it worked just let me let me know if you can hear me otherwise
00:13so i think we'll have to start again oh we'll have to start again maybe all right but let me
00:19just tap the mic and see if it works and if somebody can unmute i just want to make sure
00:24i don't have a headset on but i'm actually talking through the through the phone uh let me just see
00:29here just do a wee quicker test yeah i know you can hear me but i'm not sure if it's uh i'm just
00:35oh the tapping was heard okay all right that's good and uh if somebody could just uh request to
00:41speak for a moment we'll just do a quick test on that and then we'll get we shall begin begin the
00:46big win uh all right all right tyler are you up ask the task beautiful it's worked lovely all right
00:57okay thanks man sorry did you want to ask a question or should i do my speech
01:00no love you very much thank you all right all right just get myself sorted out here
01:08and we shall start could you be loved and be loved yes we're gonna give that a shot how to fall in
01:17love how to get the greatest good and glory that human beings are capable of which is love and
01:28the first thing that i will say is that as i've said of course many times before virtue is required
01:37for love you cannot love or be loved without virtue we love virtue in others people love virtue
01:50in ourselves love requires the ultimate trust oh man it's brutal how much trust love requires but i mean
02:01for us as a species for human beings heaven forfend and defend us it takes so much so as you know
02:11human beings take 20 to 25 years to grow to maturity we are a slow moving plot let me tell you
02:18and because of that women have to trust men to be the sole provider of external resources men have to go
02:28and hunt men have to go and bring home the bacon men have to grow the crops men have to build the
02:33houses men have to maintain the infrastructure and so on because women are busy doing what
02:37having and raising babies it is one of the greatest philosophical lessons that i've ever had
02:44is being a stay-at-home dad because of course being a stay-at-home dad i am under absolutely zero
02:51delusions as to how much effort and energy children take to raise now it's a joyful experience it's a
02:57beautiful thing i couldn't be happier i mean one of the central joys like i have four joys of my life
03:04family friendship parenting philosophy wife friends parenting and philosophy not necessarily in that
03:14order but those are the big joys but i'm under no illusion as to how much effort and energy it takes
03:19to raise people so the woman has to say to the man okay i in the full flood and fire of my sexual
03:29hardiness that's actually my uh my morning mantra when i'm brushing my teeth comes out a little garbled
03:36sometimes in the full fire of my sexual hardiness a woman has to say at peak glory of sexiness i'm gonna
03:47give all that up and i'm gonna raise your babies i'm gonna let you make the beast with two bats with
03:51me i am going to grow be big with child get leaky around the nipple area get stretch marks not sleep
03:59and be decidedly let's be honest a little bit less hot as the result of bearing your children
04:06so the woman has to say you're gonna stay with me right you're gonna keep loving me even when i'm
04:12less hot will you still love me tomorrow and that's what the woman has to do now how's she
04:20going to trust a man well trust is just another name for virtue that's all virtue is consistent
04:28behavior if you trust someone to tell the truth i.e they're not in the media if you trust someone to
04:34tell the truth it's because that person has a demonstrated commitment to honesty to telling the
04:39truth i hope i built up a little bit of credibility low these 20 plus years to tell the truth or at
04:48least as much truth as you can tell in the world and not say die or be killed right maximum truth
04:55that's the goal i have a commitment to telling the truth i tell the truth even when it's dangerous
05:01even when it costs me dearly i tell the truth that's my commitment and so i hope that i've engendered
05:08in you some trust in these areas so virtue is just another way of saying somebody can be trusted to
05:16act in a consistent manner i mean it's funny because if you have a brother-in-law who's some
05:23tom hulson parenthood super scammer of a guy dad i gotta get down to venezuela and look into some oil
05:30i need some money for that then you can actually trust him to be scammy trust means predictability
05:37trust in virtue is love the woman has to trust the man that he's not just with her for the hotness
05:45and he's not just going to cheat on her when she becomes less hot by having a bunch of babies
05:49and that he's going to provide because if he knocks her up and doesn't provide for her
05:54she is shafted deep beyond the blaxploitation movies of the 70s she's really in a deep hole
06:00because if he knocks her up and doesn't marry her she's done like she's toast which is why there
06:08were literally shotgun marriages like marry my daughter or i'm going to shoot you because it's
06:16such a disaster for women if they get knocked up and the man doesn't commit so the woman has to
06:23trust that the man is going to be there provide resources for the next so you get married at 20
06:30you live to 85 for the next 65 years he's going to be consistent he's not going to cheat or at least
06:36not impregnate another woman and when the roles reverse 20 years after you get married right so you get
06:44married at 20 the woman's peak hotness at 40 the man is at peak hotness because he's proven his
06:51worth as a resource provider and if he wants he can go and start another family a man can have three
06:58families 20 40 60 80 might be pushing it unless you're mick jagger or zorro no not zorro zorba zorba
07:07the greek anthony quinn there we go i made it from m to z so monogamy right
07:13woman's got to trust the man now the man has to trust the woman how does the man have to trust
07:21the woman well the man has to trust the woman i mean other than yes she's going to raise his
07:27children well and this that and the other but the man has to trust the woman on two major areas
07:32number one number one hey is that my kid that's my kid right that's my kid right you're not
07:39two-timing me i'm not sloppy seconds we're not you know one of the reasons for the existence of
07:45the foreskin is to pull other male semen out of the vaginal canal to make sure that or to give your
07:50your little swimmers your little boys the best chance of impregnating a woman it's a little gross
07:57don't get me wrong it's kind of like regurgitated leftovers as a meal but it is one of the reasons
08:03why the foreskin exists so the man has to be like okay that's my kid right that's my kid
08:09a hundred percent okay good number one number two women want men who are aggressive not violent
08:17hopefully but they're pretty assertive they're pretty dominant they're pretty you know they're
08:21going to go out and fight with other men and not get their skinny asses handed to them
08:26on a silver platter so what women have done is they have chosen men with more and more and more
08:33testosterone to the point where what a man have like 17 times the testosterone that women have
08:39for me it's a 17.6 i think i had it measured against dwayne johnson but anyway that's topic for another
08:46time so women have maxed out on male aggressiveness so it's like right before you become
08:55a serial killer let's just just back up a little bit from that because serial killer is not very good
08:59for the genetics unless of course you're genghis khan but in the west as a whole it's like we want
09:05maximum male aggressive and assertiveness except when you just become some psycho killer or just too
09:13violent you what do they call these guys family annihilators that just you know destroy their whole
09:18family right so so women have chosen men to be high testosterone that means assertive that means
09:26dominant that means aggressive and that's good for the genes now high testosterone tends to come
09:34with a high sex drive you may have heard of this you may in fact have experienced it you might be
09:41experienced yet right now right now as i speak on the edge of reason now men with our your i'm clearly
09:51above it all men with our crazy high sex drives what do we have to trust the woman for well we have to
09:58trust the woman that she's not going to just bang us like roger taylor with a gong at the end of
10:02bohemian rhapsody on stage boy that's a lengthy analogy sorry about that we have to trust
10:07that the woman isn't going to have a lot of sex with us until she gets pregnant and then only dole
10:15out sex once a month maybe if she wants another kid because women choose men who are aggressive
10:23women choose men who are tied to high testosterone certainly relative to women that comes with a high
10:28sex drive and it's probably a little hard for women to understand the male sex drive if you haven't
10:34experienced it it's a little uh a little baffling a little confusing i understand it you're sex mad
10:41no just just a dude just a guy just a guy don't panic and we are as women have made us right what's
10:48that line from the spinal tap the hotel clerk i am as god made me sir well men are we are as women
10:57have made us because women generally in the west have chosen men have chosen to procreate with men or
11:04not and so the men that they choose they have chosen to be high testosterone so we are male
11:10nature is the shadow cast by female choices which is why it's kind of odd to me that women would have
11:17a problem with men it's like we are as you have chosen us to be and to some degree the reverse for
11:23sure so women have to trust that the man's going to stick around the man's going to provide resources
11:30for the next 65 years that he's not going to dump her when she gets older that his fertility is going
11:36to outlast hers and that's because women died in childbirth so men needed to have a longer fertility
11:42and of course it's a lot easier to produce sperm than it is to grow babies so she's also going to
11:48say listen just just i know it's beneficial to your genes if you have three families 20 40 60 but it's
11:57not great for me so can we just do this monogamy thing so she has to trust he's going to provide
12:02stick around not run off not impregnate other women not uh you know be some crazy drunk who
12:08liquors up all of the family income and he has to trust her that the sex life is going to continue
12:18he has to trust her that it's his kid and so there's a lot of trust now what is it that breeds
12:25trust consistency and what is virtue other than consistently good behavior i know that's a little
12:30circular right what's virtue well consistent virtue i i get that but a commitment to honesty
12:36a commitment to honesty is foundational because marriage pair bonding is all based upon vows it's
12:42based upon promises before god before society before community before the law it's all based on
12:48promises so if a person's going to keep his word he's probably going to keep his marriage if a woman
12:56is going to keep her word she's probably going to keep her marriage so honesty obviously is the first
13:02thing that you need to be loved honestly of course i talk about this in my book it's free
13:09at freedemand.com books in my book real-time relationships i talk about this a lot that
13:16honesty says and you've heard me do this in if i'm getting annoyed at someone in a debate
13:22and i don't believe in rising above annoyance i don't believe in oh just be the bigger person
13:28don't get annoyed it's like no no annoyance is an important emotion anger is an important emotion
13:33doesn't mean you're right but it means that something is harming your interests now your
13:38interests may be unjust i want to win and so you know but if assuming that your interests are just
13:44anger or irritation or annoyance a very important emotion so you've probably heard me this say this
13:50you know i say uh what you're doing is annoying me i'm not saying you're objectively annoying i'm just
13:55saying i'm getting annoyed by what you're doing right that's that's honesty right i can't say that
14:00somebody's objectively annoying i can say i'm annoyed making sure that you talk about feeling
14:04statements right rather than uh judging statements judging statements are are false
14:11you're being annoying is a judgment statement as opposed to i'm annoyed that's an honest statement
14:18and this is something i don't know it's all over the place online it's also annoying i'm sure
14:24you've seen it which is uh oh you just can't stand it when so and so is successful or well you just
14:31have a problem with this woman because you're an incel or like it's it's just giving people these weird
14:37psychological motives which there's no proof oh you just can't stand this other the other or you can't
14:43handle this it's just male fragility can't handle a strong woman love strong women weak women are
14:50dangerous weak men are dangerous so consistently positive behavior honesty honesty means you can
14:58negotiate because you're not blaming you're not attacking loyalty oh this is a huge one this is a
15:06huge one i'd love to hear you guys thoughts on this but the moment i found a woman who was not
15:12critical i mean obviously helpful and she's very virtuous and my wife i married her how many
15:19couples do you know where they don't complain about each other how many couples you know where
15:25they consistently praise each other she's the best he's the greatest never have a negative word to say
15:33how many people do you know how many couples you know it could be friends too but siblings or even
15:38but how many relationships you know where nobody wants to change the other oh it drives me crazy when
15:46he does this or she just she's so you know she's great but i tell you man i don't want to change
15:52a thing about my wife i really don't i really don't and she doesn't want to change anything about me
15:58because acceptance is the key in love for sure i always find it strange and i'll stop in a minute or
16:06two and love to get your guys thoughts and all of this but i always find it strange when people have
16:14been dating for say two or three years and then they spend another year being engaged my gosh it's
16:21like watching glacial formations come down the serengeti watching people get to marriage and
16:27they date for a long time they get engaged for a long time they get married and then maybe they
16:33wait another year or two before having kids right so let's say three years dating one year married
16:39two years before kids what's six years let's say five years let's round it down make it i don't want
16:46to stack the deck in the story time and then they have kids so it's i mean if they start having kids
16:54at five they're almost five years almost six years but again we'll just round down say five years they
16:58got kids and then they complain oh she doesn't do this oh he doesn't do that oh she doesn't help oh
17:03he's too bossy oh blah blah blah she criticizes everything blah blah blah it's so bizarre to me
17:08i've never understood this like from when i was a little kid i'd hear people yelling i lived in these
17:13paper-thin wall apartment buildings throughout most of my childhood all of my childhood really
17:17i didn't have an independent dwelling until i was in my mid late 30s anyway so i spent a lot of time
17:25listening to inadvertently against my will often listening to other people fighting yelling at each other
17:31and so on right and i just i couldn't understand it and you'd hear people complaining oh my girlfriend
17:38does this my boyfriend does that my husband does this my girlfriend my wife does that so annoying
17:42and i don't understand it it's like you you're not insulting anything other than your own choices
17:47that's all to me it's as incomprehensible as you know i hey man i need a car i gotta get a car
17:56gotta get a car and okay so i've decided to get a car and um i've test driven i don't know
18:05five ten different cars maybe twelve thirteen different cars and then there's one that i think
18:11i really like now what i do is i i lease it at a very cheap rate for three years and it's a
18:22it's just the right car this is the car for me so after test driving a bunch of different cars
18:28trying them out for a couple of months at a time and then test driving this car i really like this
18:34car then you lease it for three years and then you finally like you know what i'm buying the car i'm
18:39buying the car and then for the rest of your life for the rest of their life what do people do
18:45man this car sucks ah what does this mean what does this mean this is your choice you didn't
18:54have to buy a car you got to test drive a whole bunch of different cars you lease this one for
18:57three years and then when you finally buy it you complain about it ah this car mileage is terrible
19:04there's no sunroof the trunk is too small i can never get the right volume of the radio it's too
19:11hot or it's too cold it's not right it's your car you chose it i don't understand is it a
19:19domination thing where you get to say oh i i'm superior to this car it's like but you're not
19:24it's just your choice your car is there because you chose it your husband your wife your boyfriend
19:29girlfriend they're in your life because you choose them that's it that's all and to criticize
19:35those people is wild it's really nuts to me you're not criticizing anything other than your
19:42own choice i mean what kind of pathological artist spends a year making a sculpture and then says
19:49this is a terrible sculpture this is not my sculpture this is a sculpture that was imposed upon me
19:56i can't believe that this terrible sculpture was imposed you made it you made it you had the
20:02choice not to carve a structure a sculpture you had a choice to carve anything you wanted this is
20:07what you did this is what you did your partner is nothing but the shadow cast by your choices and you
20:14are nothing but the shadow cast by your partner's choices you criticize your partner all i ever hear is
20:18i have i make bad decisions my partner is not right my partner is wrong in some matter my partner
20:25is deficient in some manner no that's your decision making this deficient in some manner
20:29why didn't you choose someone you liked why didn't you choose someone who was good beneficial positive
20:37helpful so loyalty to your partner means don't criticize them oh yeah good luck man especially boy
20:45especially being a female good luck being at a stitching bitch right at a hen party good luck
20:54when you listen to all the women bitch about their husbands and another thing and he never does
20:59this and he always does that and he doesn't do the dishwasher correctly he doesn't do the laundry
21:02correctly and he doesn't do this doesn't mow the lawn when i ask him to and he sits on his back
21:06and there's been a hole in the wall of the upstairs bathroom for three years and he keeps promising
21:10to do it and he doesn't do it na na na na na right good luck being a female and saying oh i i have no
21:17complaints i think my i think my husband's great i worship him he's fantastic i have no complaints
21:23oh you'll get some beady-eyed car stairs from the other doll's eyes checks around oh that's bad
21:31that's bad stuff man so yeah how do you fall in love be honest be virtuous love is a form of admiration
21:38what do we most admire courage and particularly moral courage i mean physical courage is okay
21:44it's fine but it's not i mean animals display it but moral courage in particular we admire
21:51so take on some good fights in the world take on some good fights in the world do good
21:59stand up for what's right i mean we all know this right and then you will admire yourself you'll be
22:06admired you'll admire your partner your husband your wife if he or she does the same thing that's
22:12what you should be doing that's what you should be doing there's no shortcuts there's no shortcuts
22:18so that's how to fall in love be virtuous be consistent it doesn't guarantee it i mean if you
22:25eat well and exercise it doesn't guarantee that you'll never really get sick but it sure raises the
22:31odds that you won't get sick and if you do get sick you'll get you'll get better quickly quicker
22:38as a whole so those are my thoughts i'd love to hear what you have to say on this or
22:44any other topic if you wish to raise your hands tell me the pluses and minuses of your own
22:51experiences of love i've certainly been in relationships where love was not consistent
22:57to put it mildly you know those really frustrating relationships where it's like it's good it's not
23:02good it's good it's okay it's bad oh it's good again that kind of stuff that's inconsistency right
23:07and you know it's also a pretty scolding experience when you are loved and you realize just how
23:13deficient your other relationships are but enough of my syllables jay what is that a hand stamp
23:21on the numeric keypad you are welcome to speak if you want to unmute i'm happy to hear yes sir
23:28about the loyalty thing i was you know dating this girl a couple years ago and yeah that is
23:34kind of huge because she had this guy this orbiter who was constantly in her ear trying to get um
23:43me and her to break up just because i quote unquote wasn't a wasn't a good guy but yeah it's interesting
23:49just like even having that guy her little orbiter around was like a serious kind of a red flag for me
23:56point being we moved on but my question for you steph is let's say you're we moved on what does that be
24:03oh so i i mean i eventually the girl she had um we split up we split up um not emotionally stable
24:13she would kind of crash out and she would do it in public and so i just could not i couldn't put up
24:19with that so the story when we split i had some cousins coming to town i told her i said hey look
24:26i got family in town they're flying in tonight i'm going to go and see them like 30 40 minutes from
24:33where i live and i'll spend some time with them and then we can hang out later go see a movie whatever
24:40the case may be point being she's like blowing my phone up and i'm like let's call her angela for
24:48the sake of like or name i'm like angela like i told you i'm gonna be like with my cousin tonight
24:55like i haven't seen um they're like 20 years older than me so they kind of they're like big
25:00they're like aunts and uncles to me kind of right um so she's blowing my phone up leaving voicemails
25:07texts like pretty crazy point being i tell my cousins hey look i got a split angela's you know
25:15calling for me whatever i'm gonna see if she's okay point being we go out to a restaurant and she's
25:21like being what's the word like passive aggressive to me and i fundamentally hate
25:29passive aggressive like passive whatever you call it right um and we had already been into like
25:35different like different little altercations prior to verbal altercations distant in the hopes of
25:42punishing you for your misbehavior without identifying it directly yeah exactly exactly um
25:49and i'm like all right what the heck is going on like i don't have time for this and we had already
25:54been in like previous um misunderstandings prior so this was just like the straw that broke the camels
26:01back but how how long and so been going on at this point at this point i'm gonna say maybe close to a
26:07year maybe like 12 13 months yeah but what did your cousin say like oh my girlfriend is is freaking
26:14out i've got to go with comfort what did they say no like i mean you know you're young go do your
26:19thing go have fun really because they got 20 they got 20 years on me well shouldn't they be then saying
26:24girls crazy man run yeah i mean that's what i mean family is a different topic uh yeah they should be
26:33tell you that because probably one of the reasons why she was freaking out is that she was concerned you
26:38might be talking about her and other people are saying like what no that's crazy man yeah no exactly
26:44okay so you're at the restaurant passive aggressive yeah so anyways moving on from that my question my
26:51concern is that so as a guy i'm still in my fertility window if i meet a girl who has who checks off
26:58all the boxes that i want uh smart intelligence strength of character right um utility in terms of
27:08like adding value to the world her community things of that sort if i'm kind of in like my peak
27:15prime and she's towards the tail end of her fertility window like catchy subject but is that something i
27:26should pursue or just call it how many kids do you want yeah i mean ideally i'd have three boys three
27:33girls but i'm willing to settle for two or three kids okay so three kids you can't go over 30
27:39yeah if you want three kids i mean you could try rolling the dice and so on but if you start meet you
27:49meet the girl even if you say you get married in a year or two and start trying to have kids right
27:52away she's a year or two away from geriatric pregnancy and things get pretty dicey up in the
27:58mid-high 30s yeah and i've seen that happen recently actually someone close to me um point being they
28:07had you know some other kids another partner kids are fine they cross that threshold um and the baby
28:15has some neurological issues right and that's like i mean that would it would kind of really hurt my heart
28:23it would kill my heart right if my kid had those issues so it's just it's tough and how old are you
28:30loaded question 32 32 yes okay so why are you not married yet you think oh so a lot of i wasn't
28:40married at 32 so i'm not i'm not trying to bag on you i'm just kind of curious yeah no this um i would
28:45say bad mistakes i would say mistakes kind of coming up and then i would just say kind of falling into the
28:51the trap or actively choosing the trap of like oh i need to be making this amount of money
28:56gotta buy a house first i need to be stable first um before i do anything and then just like also not
29:06knowing how to deal with the stress um that i was going through prior so i would say i definitely
29:12passed up a lot of opportunities uh when i was younger to actually tie them sorry do you mean like
29:19work stress or what kind of stress do you mean oh so um no not work stress i had a lot of family
29:25stress people just pouring stuff on me like in my youth and then right after i got out of high school
29:31um so i had like you know grandmother died somehow it's my responsibility well before she died to kind
29:37of help take care of her right um how long did you take care of your grandmother uh not too long it was
29:46kind of it went by really quick but it was just really devastating like six months um one slip fall
29:52dementia kind of went downhill quick why but i was young why was it why was it your job yeah so it it's
30:01not right now but why was it in the family why was it considered your job oh i mean i'm just kind of
30:06the that's a good question i'm all so because i would say because i lack the self-esteem or the
30:15boundaries i'm always willing to help as a way to get attention no no no no so don't blame yourself
30:21okay let me let me ask you this right how old were you when you started taking care of your grandmother
30:26uh 22 22 okay now your mother and your father are they both still in your life
30:35no mother yes father no is that right uh both no both no okay were they in your life when you were
30:4322 uh i was trying to separate from them and i pretty much had kind of separated from them but i
30:49was well if you've been taking care of your grandmother right yeah exactly okay no you're right
30:54so the reason i'm saying that is that i sort of think of my my own daughter she's on the sort of
30:59cusp of adopted and all of that and if my let's say i was still in touch with my mother and she
31:05needed a lot of help or whatever i mean you know why you can't put that on a 22
31:10oh are we back sorry i just got a call yeah i can hear you now yeah okay um so you know why you
31:19can't put that on a 22 year old right yeah i mean you completely destroy their chances of
31:24uh kind of start a life and get off the ground yeah because they got to be out there mixing and
31:30mingling because all the good women are getting snapped up right yes i mean you you you show up at
31:36the end of the auction there's usually not anything good left over right right so it's selfish for
31:44parents to hand over elder care to a young person if that makes sense yes it does okay and uh that's
31:56kind of cruel because you know and the six months and then you know six months to recover and you
32:00know it's kind of a heavy weight on your soul and it's tough to be buoyant and chatty fun and charismatic
32:04when you've just nursed an elderly woman six months into the grave right that's that's a pretty heavy
32:11burden for a young person and it's not your burden because it's not your mother right it's your parents
32:17was it your mother or mother mother's mom mother's mom so my mom was the youngest of all of her
32:24my mother's kids and so she was always the closest to her mom and so i was my mother's youngest and so
32:31i was my grandma i was closest to my grandmother more than any of her of her grandkids and did your
32:40mother sit you down and say hey you got to take care of my mother no it definitely wasn't like that i
32:46just volunteered more so and it was just kind of taken and i think the real kind of back to the original
32:52question um that like i said that's only six months there's definitely recoil but i would say
32:58also when my mother lost her job um when i was in college so it kind of all this stuff happened all
33:05like back to back to back where i'm like all right what the heck is going on like i'm paying for my
33:12rent at my place giving her money right and it down to your question why i'm not married so there
33:19was things that and i'll be careful how i say this there were things that i did not
33:24was not disciplined enough to enforce boundaries when i was young respectfully right i'm not putting
33:32the blame on me if i'm under 18 um but that's kind of what it was i didn't have the the boundaries
33:40to be like no leave me the hell alone okay well but also it sounds like and listen if i'm astray
33:47obviously let me know but it sounds like you think that you need to have all your ducks in a row you've
33:52got to have your income maybe some property a nice car before you get a woman right yeah that's what it
33:58was um and definitely after it's not that way yeah it's not that way well that that arises from a lack
34:05of trust in women throughout all of our evolution all across the world throughout all of our evolution
34:12women had to marry a man based on his potential for the most part i mean certainly the first round
34:19right if some there's some spinster who's 30 and some guy's wife dies in childbirth and she then you
34:24know she has some sense of whether he's a provider but then she's taking care of his kids too so that's
34:28a different matter but most people got married 18 20 22 and the guy didn't have a lot of money
34:34he may have had some hustle some get up and go some oomph some zim some whatever right
34:39entrepreneurial gusto but she had to marry him based on her evaluation of his potential
34:48if that makes sense it does and so there's so many men that i've talked to over the last 20 years and
34:56they say well i can't settle down because i don't have enough money yet that's life that's our entire
35:04history that's our evolution as a species is that the woman has to evaluate the man's potential
35:09and then support his ass while he goes and achieves it not hey man i already have all this stuff
35:19because then you're like hang on maybe she's just a gold digger but if a woman grows with you in your
35:25wealth and grows with you in your success man it's a beautiful thing but if you feel like you have to
35:31prove it all before you can get a woman's affection i think that's i think that's tough deep down yeah
35:37and i think that's so that's not how it is now but i think from coming from like i said even when i was
35:42in like high school um so tall good looking dude deep voice right there were plenty well i'll just say
35:50there were enough opportunities um but i could have capitalized on and at least potentially propose
35:56uh but just for one reason or another i think out of not being owned love as a kid i thought that the
36:05only way to get love was to actually have status right to showcase the status right so you don't
36:13trust you don't trust that a woman is going to see your potential know your character and build with
36:18you you've got to already prove it to her that you have all of this stuff so that she doesn't have to
36:23trust you yeah and then also adding to that just uh i mean every i won't say everyone but a lot of
36:30families have a lot of nonsense going on i have to then also be you know introduce her to my family
36:37because i'm under the impression um that when you get married you also marry that person's family
36:44and not necessarily okay this is my thinking in high school back in high school oh yeah i'm just saying
36:51that my my wife has never met my father or my mother but anyway yeah so coming like at that age
36:58i'm like man you gotta really love me if you want to meet my family like these are some psychotic
37:06people to give you like meat potatoes my dad came to beat me up at the park when i was 14
37:12right um pretty embarrassing sorry well hang on he came to beat you up at the park yeah so
37:19point being he had came by me and my mom's place somehow he thought you disrespected me like he
37:27thought i said something to him and then i went off rode my bike to the park and then he pulled up to
37:35the park right had me in tears i'm all embarrassed in front of my friends i might have been 15 actually
37:42um not super relevant yeah okay yeah but i mean i just remember being like jesus like you like i hate
37:51your guts like if i can't get off the ground he really did like beat you up i'm so sorry i mean it
37:57wasn't yeah i mean it wasn't like a a clear beat down but i took a couple lumps um and i'm crying
38:04um in front of my friends or whatnot because we played basketball at the park we played football
38:09be at the teen center right um but yeah so it's just thankfully i feel like well hold on backtrack
38:19i feel as if my family would intentionally try to sabotage my my attempts or like my
38:27i guess my talent right because i've been like athletic since i was like young and then i was
38:35also smart i was a straight a student up until like the seventh grade maybe sixth grade started
38:42getting bees then um and so i went to play football like the the youth football for the city i'm playing
38:52running back right first i don't start and then i start then i start playing defensive end right so
39:00i can play both sides of the field in american football um not like the regular football but
39:06anyways so i go into high school football and so now i we have to there's more money that has to come
39:13out of pocket i go through summer camp hell week but you need to pay a hundred bucks for the uniform
39:19call my dad hey dad i need a hundred bucks for my uniform nope i don't got it and i'm like how to
39:26like how do you not have it like i don't even live with you you don't give me anything it's a hundred
39:32dollars this will give me the teams like the school uniform i'll be one of every i'll be like the other
39:39kids point being i go through all of the summer um without the uniform right my freshman year in high
39:47school and i'm like damn all the other kids scurried up a hundred bucks they're all matching and i'm the
39:53odd ball out and i know half of these guys from the football team in the city so i have some grace
40:00right it's okay you know he's still cool he's still you know he's still fast not a big problem
40:05um but yeah i just had you know my siblings they kind of rambling point being i got yanked off a
40:15football team from my older brother and then it was like well if i can't do football can i do
40:21like asb like student government nope can't do that um and i gave some girl my phone number like the
40:29second day of school she called my house my mom picked up she was all mad and you're not having no
40:35girls over here it was crazy so um to answer your question initially and this was my thoughts as a
40:44teenager i thought i had to be at a certain level financially before um i took anyone serious and
40:54then i had a bunch of crap happening in my early 20s that kind of really bottomed me out and then i
41:00just had to heal from that but yeah i got back dating and all that so right now looking for mrs
41:07mrs wright at this point next to you by the way i appreciate that story because i think it highlights
41:12something that it's not a rebel it's good honest stuff but it does highlight a huge problem in society
41:19that's kind of undiscussed which is that if your parents are failures odd odds are they're just going
41:25to sabotage you and that's tragically common and it's not just about family if your friends are
41:32failures odds are they're going to sabotage you if your brothers if you know and particularly your
41:39parents if you're struggling to succeed in something in life that your parents failed at
41:45i don't know what the odds are but they're pretty high i would say seven eight times out of ten
41:51they're just going to sabotage you my parents had a miserable marriage and i've talked to lots of
41:58people whose parents had miserable marriages and they themselves have miserable marriages and their
42:02parents aren't sitting them down and saying hey um this is this is where we went wrong here's what you
42:08got to watch out for and you know godspeed right i mean if i if i had cratered some business right i
42:17started some business and worked at it for 10 years and then it really augured in and it went bankrupt
42:22and the reason that most businesses go bankrupt is cash flow cash flow is king right you got to have
42:27the money to pay the bills even though you get paid intermittently some companies are like 30 60 90 day
42:33pay and you got your payroll every two weeks and your bills every month so let's say my daughter
42:39was starting a business and i knew from bitter personal experience that cash flow is everything
42:45and that's the number one reason my businesses go bankrupt and let's say i see her taking on a lot
42:52of obligations and the way you deal with cash flow is you've got to get a secured line of credit from
42:57a lending institution usually a bank or something like that where you can say look here's my payables
43:01but they're not coming in for two months but it's a lot of money i just need bridge financing
43:05or bridge money to cover my payroll and so then you got to have your line of credit as a business
43:11now if my daughter was starting a business and i saw her running up all these expenses and i also
43:16knew that her customers were going to be paying her 30 60 90 days down the road and i didn't say
43:21anything i would be actively sabotaging her business it's horrible it's a horrible aspect of human life
43:27but it is a very very real and dangerous aspect of human life so uh my parents never gave me any
43:37relationship advice at all not one bit they didn't even say look here's the mistakes that we made
43:41here's how you can avoid the bad things that happen to us because you know we recognize that by having
43:47a bad marriage and by breaking up early i mean i was a baby when they split up you know you got a bad
43:53template and so here's how i'm going to help you overcome that bad template i never got any relationship
44:00advice from my parents i never got any good relationship advice from my friends uh or my
44:06brother or anything like that and that's really important people who have bitter experience and
44:13don't give you good advice are sabotaging you they're just rooting for you to fail so they don't feel so
44:19singular and when in their failures and when people have crossed over when people have really crossed over
44:25into they really can't be a success anymore because it's too late oh very very toxic very toxic all right
44:33is there anything else that you wanted to uh to mention about this yeah i would say ironically my dad
44:39sent me a text this was maybe a week ago saying the biggest thing i did what he sent me a text like a
44:47text okay yeah so he said oh the biggest thing of my life is that i don't have you in my life
44:52and i thought about that and i started to respond and say if you want to make amends one you could
44:58have gave me the mustang gt it was a 1971 boss 351 um you could have gave me that car instead of selling
45:06it and you could have given me a house because my dad actually made solid money um compared to
45:14compared for the like other people his age at that time um but you know he hit me up and i did not
45:21respond i said you know what i'm going to ignore you and i'm going to let you wallow in that pain
45:28because i've kind of you know i've had some sort of success for myself now and now you want to come
45:35back too late the die has been cast bridge has been burnt we're good here that's all you're on mute
45:44stuff i don't know why is it mike you want something that's monetary there we go are we back
45:51yes hello hello yeah we're back okay yeah there's nothing like uh success to bring people around like
45:57hey we haven't talked in a while but i hear bitcoin is up well we wouldn't hear that this week but you'd
46:01hear it as a whole and that's really that's really rough i love that meme is like buy the dip it's like
46:07it's the fifth dip this week all right is there anything else you want to mention and listen best
46:13of luck uh so do you want to uh just in case there are people listening here who want to get in touch
46:17with you as a a fine young 32 year old man who's got self-knowledge and wisdom and listens to
46:23philosophy do you want to hand out your your x handle so people can message you fine young ladies
46:29can message you if they're interested uh sure yeah this was kind of like an old profile i made back
46:35in the day but it's just jj two three five three five six at twitter um i made this thing a long time
46:42ago so okay no no problem at all so just give it one more time jj two three five three five six
46:54and i obviously can't um i can't vet everyone but i will say this that listeners to this show tend to
47:01make fantastic husbands um there have been quite a lot of marriages have come out of what it is that
47:06i do and because they're wise and intelligent and good communicators and have self-knowledge
47:11they tend to be truly truly excellent excellent communicators and really really good husbands and
47:18of course the peaceful parenting thing they tend to be really good fathers as well so
47:21ladies give him a shout give him a poke you could do a lot worse and i dare say you probably
47:28couldn't do much better so all right well thank you very much i appreciate that a very interesting
47:32story and yeah watch out watch out for the saboteurs man love my people i mean if they're success
47:38if they're successful they should be giving you they should be giving you their methodology for how
47:44they became successful they should be helping you with that right if they're not successful then they
47:48should be warning you about the mistakes they made so you don't reproduce them that's sort of the
47:54basics of how to be a good communicator and a person who cares about others right so if you've
48:02got people in your life man either they succeeded they should be helping you with their success or
48:06they failed and they should be warning you about their failures if they're not doing either it's kind
48:11of active sabotage i view this very i say oh well they're not doing anything it's like well yeah
48:15but that's pretty important i mean if you're drowning and some guy is a trained lifeguard and he doesn't
48:20come in to help you well he's not doing anything it's like yeah he's making you drown he's not
48:24helping you expect help from the people in your life and accept nothing less so all right uh tyler
48:31sorry you're still i wasn't sure if you were just from earlier where we were doing the mic test
48:34if you wanted to i'm you i'm you're trying to say yeah i just it's very i'm 32 too and have similar
48:41you know an ac score of nine i don't know if you read my email from a couple days ago but
48:46i am running for governor in new york state um and uh i've got issues with saboteurs um i'm a
48:55whistleblower against a 40 billion dollar company that was stealing money um that was supposed to be
49:01building housing for poor people and that was two years ago in which i um went public in in a way that
49:08i could without getting sued um but they've come after me for two years in different ways um but
49:16it's i don't know it's just crazy to hear another 32 year old guy that you know um made mistakes
49:22relationship um i was in foster care at seven years old oh gosh i'm sorry about that i've suffered
49:29every form of abuse you know in ac if anybody's familiar with an ac ac score of nine that's pretty bad
49:34yeah that's one short of max so yeah sorry about that that's very tough yeah it was very tough um i
49:41did get lucky and get into a christian foster home at a young age um and that probably saved my life
49:49um but i still have the damage of not being able to socialize properly
49:56um because of all the moving around in different foster homes and you know five different high schools
50:04and all of that stuff so well i'm sorry about that what has your dating history been so far
50:11um all my relationships have been pretty long usually uh year two um my last relationship was
50:18seven and a half years eight years um it it was i don't want to speak ill of the dead but
50:26she was not a very nice person i'm an empath and um she definitely fed off me for a long time
50:33sorry she died no no no no she's dead to me oh no she was uh at least narcissist presenting i don't
50:45i don't want to diagnose her because i'm not a professional but um and you were so you've been
50:49together with her for over seven years yes was that consistent or on and off it so we broke up
50:55probably like seven or eight times but it was always me breaking up with her she never broke up with
50:59me once okay but it was short short term very short term breakup what was it that drew you back in
51:06um i think it was just laziness honestly like it was like i was already comfortable with it you know
51:14does that make sense uh no so uh usually guys go back to bad girls for two reasons one is horniness
51:23and the other is oh now that was that one yeah that was definitely part of the other the other is
51:29compliance with female desires right oh i really i miss you i can't go on without you it's like okay
51:34i'll comply right because we men are kind of programmed to please women uh because we obviously
51:39they they had the choice when it came to survival of the west so um so yeah it's usually uh horniness or
51:45excessive empathy well i will admit there was a buffet of that and you're probably right
51:51or you're you're right right so it's not so much your personal laziness as it was the extreme
51:58unlaziness of your penis that probably yes drew you back in right that's the fishhook within which
52:03you are reeled back into the dysfunction correct and what was the final straw what what got you out for
52:08good um it just it it got to the point where i couldn't like emotionally do it anymore and uh we still
52:18live together but it it like i started sleeping in a different room um and the communication was
52:27like i just i just couldn't maintain the relationship anymore there was just so many things that she did
52:32that um just broke everything down and how long did you um did you live with her
52:39in a roommate sort of scenario uh probably three four years what yeah bro this is like the worst
52:48breakup i've ever heard of yeah i i was i was chicken shit like this is like breaking up uh well
52:52i broke up with my siamese twin yeah well i mean i will say after her i've been single for two and a
53:00half years now no no relationship or i had one girlfriend for a very short period of time but
53:06because of the whistleblower stuff it's been kind of you know not safe so to speak
53:13um right right right but i did date a girl for about a month or two in pennsylvania so i felt safe
53:21dating her because she was far away but uh it went well i just i didn't i didn't love her um
53:27what what do you mean you felt safe dating her because she's far away do you view women as
53:31radioactive no no you don't have your hazmat suit you're gonna get irradiated balls or something
53:37what's that no because because of the the powerful interest that i've went against um there's danger
53:44if that makes sense right right like for example uh the the week that i was starting to ask questions
53:54about you know money being there that wasn't supposed to be there i was told to make sure
53:58you know i hope your carbon monoxide detectors are working and stuff like that so um it was okay well
54:06and what is it that you're looking for now well i'm gonna run for governor no but i mean in terms
54:12of dating um i'd like to get married very quickly um i'm ready i'm more ready than i ever have been
54:19that's for sure okay and did you want to um hand out your vital statistics in case anybody else wants
54:26to contact you about this yeah ty7193 that's all it is ty7193 all right well best of luck and i hope
54:35the whistleblower stuff works out that's a tough gig to take on especially if you're not paid all right
54:40jetty the jetty if you want to unmute i'm happy to hear what you have to say
54:45yes sir going once going twice hello hello yes hello hello he came and went he came and went
54:56i'll just give him another second you're muted at the moment so you need to unmute let me just uh
55:01unmute you sorry i tried to unmute you and i think it may have muted you so if you can unmute
55:06all right i think we may have lost it all right well i'll stop here then if nobody else has anything
55:12else to chat about i appreciate you guys dropping by shop.freedomain.com shop s-h-o-p shop.freedomain.com
55:19to get your swaggy merch for christmas so we're working on a physical copy of peaceful parenting
55:26in case you want to do some stocking stuffers that could do some real great good in the world
55:30and of course as usual freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show and freedomain.com slash call
55:36if you want to set a public or private call-in show i would appreciate that and look forward
55:41to our conversations and thank you thank you thank you so much for being part of the conversation
55:46today it is a genuine deep and beautiful pleasure to talk about philosophy with y'all uh-oh no i think
55:53we did be talking yeah we did all right so have yourself a beautiful night and we will talk to you
55:58if you're donors tomorrow at 11 a.m and lots of love from up here my friends i'll talk to you soon bye
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