- 21 hours ago
😱🔥 You Won’t Believe What Happens to Santa! WEREWOLF SANTA Full Movie (Thriller)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I don't know how to do it.
00:00:30Tell me there's a Bigfoot behind me.
00:00:38No, it's not too much.
00:00:39Just bloody trees, grass.
00:00:43Which is a shame, because it costs quite a lot of money to fly out here.
00:00:47This place in general, though.
00:00:49So, thank you, Student Loan, for being there for me,
00:00:52even when Bigfoot was not.
00:00:55This week on Monster Hunters, we're here in Scotland,
00:01:02looking for none other than the Loch Ness Monster.
00:01:05Is he under there?
00:01:08I like to think so.
00:01:11But we are, it must be said, missing a monster.
00:01:14One large monster shall we be.
00:01:25It was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirred, not even a mouse.
00:01:38The stockings were hung by the chimney, with chair.
00:01:42In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
00:01:57The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
00:02:03And Mama in her kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
00:02:11When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
00:02:16Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
00:02:21The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below,
00:02:27when what to my wondering eyes did appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
00:02:32With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
00:02:38More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
00:02:43Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
00:02:50To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
00:02:56As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky,
00:03:03so up to the housetop the coursers they flew, with a sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too.
00:03:09And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
00:03:15As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
00:03:21He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
00:03:27A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
00:03:32His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry,
00:03:38his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
00:03:44The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.
00:03:50He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
00:03:56He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf. I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
00:04:02A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
00:04:08He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk,
00:04:14and laying his finger aside of his nose and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
00:04:20He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
00:04:27But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
00:04:34And then, well, things went completely fucking batshit crazy, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
00:04:44Joe Bob says, be careful what you wish for.
00:04:51See, that was very bright over there.
00:04:54Now, here's one that most kids like, and this kid does too.
00:04:59You better watch out.
00:05:01Quick cameo for my handsome face, but I'm not the reason you're here.
00:05:05Name?
00:05:06Gray.
00:05:07It looks gray.
00:05:09Oh, hang on, just want to get him shot at the Hastings sign.
00:05:13Oh, fuck off, mate, it's already clean.
00:05:19He's harmless.
00:05:21There you go, Stan.
00:05:23Can you get yourself some real meth? All that cheap shit.
00:05:25I don't know, you're fucking crazy.
00:05:27Is this a really jolly?
00:05:29Sex heavy idiots.
00:05:31Please listen to something else, and I'm so fucking sick of Christmas music.
00:05:35This is a touching.
00:05:37Jingle bells, jingle bells, ginger all the way.
00:05:41Oh, what fun it is to ride on a wild horse open sleigh.
00:05:47Justin?
00:05:49What?
00:05:50Change it, please.
00:05:51What have you got against Christmas?
00:05:53Oh, I don't know, you name it.
00:05:55Um, parents are divorced on Christmas Day, being so broke this year that I stole my gifts from John Lewis,
00:06:00legged it when the alarm went off and twisted my ankle, which had fucking days.
00:06:03All whilst this song miraculously played everywhere I hold on, so fuck this song and fuck Christmas.
00:06:08Wow.
00:06:09Oh, I think you gave me a song.
00:06:11Way to investigate werewolves, not to celebrate the profits of certain retailers.
00:06:16Can we stop and fuck it now?
00:06:18No.
00:06:23That's left by your parents.
00:06:25I'm sorry.
00:06:26Why? Wasn't you shagged the bim by her hands a bim girl, was it?
00:06:28It wasn't her.
00:06:30How old were you when it happened?
00:06:32Ugh, please.
00:06:55What just happened?
00:06:56Like you can't keep your fucking dick in your pants.
00:06:58Oh gee, fucking calm down.
00:07:00Good God.
00:07:01Which way am I going? Am I going left or right?
00:07:02Left.
00:07:03Fucking hell.
00:07:04It just happened.
00:07:05I was drinking, she was drinking, you were gone.
00:07:07Doesn't just fucking happen.
00:07:08I didn't accidentally call her someone else's cock, did I?
00:07:10We're not exclusive Lucy.
00:07:11You come around telling people that we're just fucking.
00:07:12Why would we be exclusive?
00:07:13I don't, I don't.
00:07:14We've never fucking said that.
00:07:15Fine, fine.
00:07:16It is fucking fine.
00:07:17Someone just go around and fuck your best mate shall I?
00:07:18It is fucking fine.
00:07:19It's not even your best mate.
00:07:20You can't say how much you fucking hate her.
00:07:21You're fucking, you dare fucking film this Dustin.
00:07:28Looks cosy.
00:07:29Do not be fooled.
00:07:30Easy.
00:07:31Why is there a camera on my face?
00:07:32Merry Christmas to you too.
00:07:33Do anything on werewolves?
00:07:34Well I'm not a bloody werewolf.
00:07:35Why?
00:07:36Just checking the settings Mrs Graves.
00:07:37Might do some interview stuff in here.
00:07:38Gonna have to swing a lens loose.
00:07:39Who the hell are you?
00:07:40Oh I'm Dustin.
00:07:41You didn't tell me you were bringing someone.
00:07:42So what if I did?
00:07:43This is Dustin.
00:07:44He's good enough in bed for us to be casually suing each other.
00:07:45He's in a band called I Piss On Your Soul and annoyingly labels himself as Wiccan.
00:07:51He's incredibly fucking high and he drinks way too much making Christmas his favourite time of year because everyone else becomes an alcoholic too.
00:07:57On that note I would fucking love a Bailey's or three.
00:07:58Hi.
00:07:59Where's the Bailey's?
00:08:00Where's the Bailey's?
00:08:01Quiet in here.
00:08:02This is generally how it goes.
00:08:04At what it's mum and I have nothing in common?
00:08:05No.
00:08:06I'm not talking because I don't like the camera at me.
00:08:07And he's
00:08:32talking because i don't like the camera ignore it i can't it's in my space look at me so loose
00:08:40it's a charming t-shirt
00:08:44so how's university i'm dropped out oh good god but are you still working at the coffee shop
00:08:50i got fired lucy what am i gonna do with you still it's it's very nice to have you down for
00:08:59christmas darling i thought we were going to interview your mom about the werewolves
00:09:03uh no i didn't agree to that no you don't have to if you don't want to i'd have to do my hair
00:09:08fine so how have you been mum yoga stuff all okay well i'm still teaching if that's what you mean
00:09:14i'm not sure that is what i mean you know i'm going to use that conversation on mars
00:09:19most likely yes yes if you've been at the gandra again
00:09:24oh lucy take off that stinky stinky jacket let me put it in the wash you can't buy a leather jacket
00:09:29in the wash what you practically live in that thing do you have a bed in there funny
00:09:36you know she used to be such a sweet girl here she is at the funfair she was a hell of a shot
00:09:49your old glasses i'll put them on lucy put them on little cup of tea mum
00:09:53i'm fine thanks cool let's just sit here for a bit longer then
00:10:01dad
00:10:05i'm gonna grab some exterior shots the house what oh great dad happy christmas
00:10:11you look great you're glowing
00:10:12i feel pretty good what's with the camera charlie carol how's the yoga thing going it's fine thanks
00:10:22how's the drinking thing going touche look at you you're half cut already you know you can't just
00:10:29turn up here like this can't wear my daughters in town let me cook your steak no i'd better
00:10:34love the t-shirt by the way oh damn i forgot to bring your present oh it doesn't happen old habits
00:10:41die hard don't they do you know he once forgot to close the front door we were leaving the house
00:10:45burglars came in and took everything without even having to break a bloody window
00:10:52is there a woman in your car yes
00:10:55well show her in last time i brought a woman in here you threw a toaster at her head she deserved it
00:11:06she said hello it was how she said hello it was her tone the new bloody woman every week like a
00:11:14dog on heat justin is it dustin whatever can you please turn that bloody thing off this is personal
00:11:21stuff pulling slots off tinder all the time i know you're on there you're such a cliche i don't know
00:11:28what they see in you whatever you thought well whatever it was i mustn't have my contacts touche
00:11:52it looks like you're an extra in your own life when you should be playing the lead
00:11:58you just sit about smoking weed watching life pass you by wear all this crazy
00:12:05shit but it's like it's wearing you you have to do something in life to earn having bright red hair
00:12:12not even in a band
00:12:16ignore me it's the weed
00:12:19i've got my youtube channel like four people watching it
00:12:23at least my name isn't dustin i've ever heard of the lead singer of a band called dustin
00:12:29you know justin timberlake was dustin timberlake
00:12:33you'll be working at kfc oh my god
00:12:47should i call the police lucy oh
00:13:17i'd rather not break into a police station
00:13:47oh
00:13:58no wait let's back in
00:14:02they all glorify my dad even though he's the only chief responsible in history who doesn't drive
00:14:06it's so lame they'll have to drive him around
00:14:08right then monster hunters let's see what we can find
00:14:17okay i've decided you're crazy
00:14:19maybe but i don't buy the story that guy seems to got mauled by some dog
00:14:35okay
00:14:46okay
00:14:48okay
00:14:50Can you see him in on that?
00:14:52Silver bullets.
00:14:58Might be a joke.
00:15:10They made us believe it was like a fireside story.
00:15:13Like werewolves being caves built into the cliffs.
00:15:17Where they choose to live in Hastings or all places is the biggest mystery.
00:15:25Should you take the whiskey?
00:15:27I'm more of a sherry guy.
00:15:42Your parents were a weird fit. How'd they meet?
00:15:45Dad met Mum when he arrested her.
00:15:48She went kind of crazy in a shopping mall when they told her she couldn't get a certain bath mountain blue.
00:15:53See where you get her from.
00:15:59Seven.
00:16:01I was seven when they divorced.
00:16:03I ran out of the house without either of them noticing into these woods.
00:16:10I really believe I saw one of those werewolves.
00:16:13Battery's come.
00:16:14Okay.
00:16:15Ugh.
00:16:16So, monster hunters, we have a rare full moon on Christmas Eve and we're back in the park hunting werewolves.
00:16:32What was that?
00:16:33Did you hear it?
00:16:34Nope.
00:16:35Fuck!
00:16:36Merry Christmas, mate.
00:16:37Before you say it, no I'm not scared of dogs.
00:16:39You want a hash cookie?
00:16:40Nah, they're too strong.
00:16:41You made them wrong.
00:16:42No, I made them just right.
00:16:43The hair in my pocket if you change your mind.
00:16:45That's just an explorer.
00:16:46So, yes viewers, we have drugs.
00:16:47Don't tell on us.
00:16:48Freezing?
00:16:49We'll have a hot chocolate when we get home.
00:16:50No, I'm not scared of dogs.
00:16:51I'm not scared of dogs.
00:16:52I'm not scared of dogs.
00:16:53You want a hash cookie?
00:16:54No, they're too strong.
00:16:55You made them wrong.
00:16:56No, I made them just right.
00:17:01The hair in my pocket if you change your mind.
00:17:04That's just an explorer.
00:17:05So, yes viewers, we have drugs.
00:17:10Don't tell on us.
00:17:13Freezing?
00:17:14We'll have a hot chocolate when we get home.
00:17:17With marshmallows?
00:17:18Yes.
00:17:19And a hand drop?
00:17:32What is that?
00:17:33It's what?
00:17:35That.
00:17:37Oh, come on, Lucy.
00:17:39You saw what happened to that bloke?
00:17:42Lucy.
00:17:43It's thunder.
00:17:47We're lost.
00:17:51We're lost.
00:17:52Well, I know we promised you monsters, but it seems tonight we belong here.
00:17:56We're bringing you an actual Santa sighting.
00:18:01Oh!
00:18:02No!
00:18:03No!
00:18:04No!
00:18:05No!
00:18:06No!
00:18:07No!
00:18:08I know we promised you monsters, but it seems tonight we bring you an actual Santa sighting.
00:18:24fighting.
00:18:40Bless you.
00:18:42Bless you.
00:18:44It's safe.
00:18:46It ran off.
00:18:50So much blood.
00:18:52It's okay.
00:18:54I'm sure that I can
00:18:56find my feet.
00:18:58We have to get you to a hospital.
00:19:04Aren't you in pain?
00:19:12It's the strangest thing.
00:19:18No pain
00:19:20at all.
00:19:30The hash cookies still in my pocket.
00:19:34Great. A werewolf with the munchies.
00:19:36You might have to save the town loose.
00:19:46The world even.
00:19:48Save Christmas.
00:19:50Nobody knows more about monsters than you.
00:19:52I would.
00:19:54I want to save Christmas. I couldn't care less.
00:19:56Oh, come on. My only knowledge comes from comic books.
00:19:58To start.
00:20:00You owe it to your viewers.
00:20:04Take the camera. I'm getting an Uber back to London.
00:20:06No matter the cost, I'm out of here.
00:20:07Okay, fine, fine. You're right.
00:20:08People need to know the truth about
00:20:10whatever happens here tonight.
00:20:12This is an episode like any other
00:20:14just with an actual concept.
00:20:18But I need you behind the camera.
00:20:20No way. You're on your own.
00:20:22I'm getting the fuck out of here.
00:20:23Dustin.
00:20:25Dustin, if you don't film me
00:20:26I will release our sex tape online.
00:20:29Which one?
00:20:31The one where you may be dressed with your mum.
00:20:33Okay.
00:20:35Okay, okay.
00:20:43Where are all the police cars?
00:20:46This prick again.
00:20:58Excuse me. Can I help you?
00:21:00Yes, I need some silver bullets, please.
00:21:04Do some damage with this.
00:21:06What are you doing?
00:21:08Santa's turned into a werewolf
00:21:10and we're going to kill him.
00:21:12He's probably right now
00:21:13climbing down chimney after chimney
00:21:15eating families alive.
00:21:17Are you making this up for one of your films?
00:21:19Yeah, if you like.
00:21:20I'm going to need to borrow your car.
00:21:21Well, what about your car?
00:21:23Police took it till tomorrow
00:21:24because I was high.
00:21:25No, it's my name on the licence.
00:21:26There are bigger things to worry about.
00:21:28No.
00:21:29Fine.
00:21:30You'll just have to come with us
00:21:31and drive us.
00:21:32Drive you.
00:21:33Drive you where?
00:21:34To the wolf.
00:21:35How are we going to find it?
00:21:36We'll follow the police.
00:21:37Dad, we need to call Dad.
00:21:38Look.
00:21:39I don't know what all this is about
00:21:40but okay.
00:21:41I'll do the driving for you
00:21:42but in exchange, Lucy,
00:21:43I would like you to help me
00:21:45stuff the turkey later, okay?
00:21:47Whatever.
00:21:48Let's go.
00:21:50Have you done your hair, Mum?
00:21:51Yes.
00:21:52I'm going to be on the
00:21:53bloody camera all the time.
00:21:55You love her.
00:21:56I do not.
00:21:57Mum, can we go faster?
00:21:59Dad, pick up.
00:22:00So I'm driving towards
00:22:02the sound of the silence?
00:22:03Yes.
00:22:04I'm just going dead
00:22:05and I'm picking this
00:22:06bloody phone.
00:22:07Hmm.
00:22:08Tell me about it.
00:22:09I'll tell you later.
00:22:11Well, this is madness.
00:22:13Oh, you love it.
00:22:14I do not.
00:22:15Actually, can we quickly
00:22:17stop over Rupert?
00:22:18It's the only person I know
00:22:19has read more monster
00:22:20than it's night out.
00:22:21There's some fun with that man.
00:22:23There are a lot of things
00:22:24wrong with him.
00:22:25Who's Rupert?
00:22:26Best child of me.
00:22:34Rupert?
00:22:35Lucy.
00:22:36Santa's turned into a werewolf.
00:22:38Might need your help
00:22:39to save Christmas.
00:22:43I'll grab my jacket.
00:22:44Anyone want a jelly ring?
00:22:56How do we kill it?
00:22:57I'm not sure.
00:22:58Gone ice skate.
00:23:00Where's the other one?
00:23:01No, I'm not.
00:23:03Take it up late.
00:23:05It's not pure silver.
00:23:06Obviously not.
00:23:07We need real silver
00:23:08to kill a werewolf.
00:23:09Look, we can't just kill it.
00:23:12Why not?
00:23:14Because it's Father Christmas.
00:23:16That thing is not Father Christmas.
00:23:18It is.
00:23:19Deep down.
00:23:20But at least we'd be sure
00:23:21of killing him.
00:23:22A werewolf can only be killed
00:23:23by someone who loves him.
00:23:25And who doesn't love Father Christmas.
00:23:26No say, Lucy.
00:23:27You look better than you used to.
00:23:28Pretty almost.
00:23:29Thanks, I guess.
00:23:30Why are you wearing a suit, dude?
00:23:31You just come from work or something?
00:23:33No.
00:23:34I was just at home.
00:23:35Dude.
00:23:36It's just Rupert's thing.
00:23:37I've never seen him out of a suit.
00:23:38It's like a style girl.
00:23:39Please, you look like a disgraced kid's TV presenter.
00:23:42I hate a man.
00:23:43People are not just a man.
00:23:44I'm not just a man.
00:23:45I hate a man.
00:23:46I hate a man.
00:23:47I hate a man.
00:23:48People are not just a man.
00:23:49I hate a man.
00:23:50I hate a man.
00:23:51I hate a man.
00:23:52I hate a man.
00:23:54I hate a man.
00:23:55Why are you wearing a suit, dude?
00:23:56You just come from work or something?
00:23:57No.
00:23:58I was just at home.
00:24:00Dude.
00:24:01Just Rupert's thing.
00:24:02Never seen him out of a suit.
00:24:03It's like a style girl.
00:24:04Please!
00:24:05You look like a disgraced kids TV presenter.
00:24:06What are you going to do, Luce?
00:24:09I'm going to smash the ice gate into the side of his head.
00:24:24Luce?
00:24:25I can't do it.
00:24:31Why did it run away?
00:24:33Not developed its killer instinct yet. Inside he's still Santa.
00:24:36We'll get in next time.
00:24:37Footage has surfaced on social media of this werewolf Santa in a local park eating the heart out of a child's chest.
00:24:44Local residents said they saw...
00:24:50Looks like he's found that killer instinct.
00:24:58What happened to your eye?
00:25:00Night shifts can be tough.
00:25:03Carol, what are you doing here?
00:25:05Look, they asked me to drive.
00:25:07I don't know what's going on there.
00:25:08There's some horrible footage of some child being eaten on their phones.
00:25:12Look, all these sirens.
00:25:14Go home.
00:25:15We saw him, Dad.
00:25:17We saw Santa get bit by that.
00:25:20Well...
00:25:21We were there when it happened.
00:25:22So no police cover-ups.
00:25:24You are such a dickhead.
00:25:25You weren't there, Rupert.
00:25:28Yeah, maybe not. But I have this video on my phone.
00:25:30Give me that!
00:25:31Hey, police brutality!
00:25:33I'm deleting it.
00:25:35Go ahead. It's everywhere anyway. On everyone's phone.
00:25:38And I know about the UFO cover-up in this town too.
00:25:41They're hiding aliens in the Old Town Fryer chip shop. Everyone knows it.
00:25:45That's where the chips there taste fully.
00:25:47Radiation coming in under the door from the back room where those things hide under big glass domes.
00:25:54Great. So on top of everything else that's clearly fucked with you, you're also that annoying conspiracy theory guy.
00:26:00Dad, I know how to kill the werewolf.
00:26:02This isn't a comic book. It's real. And turn off that camera.
00:26:07What? Is all this real?
00:26:08Yes!
00:26:09They have silver bullets in the comics, Dad. Same as you have.
00:26:13I know everything.
00:26:16Lucy, what do you want?
00:26:19To document it.
00:26:21Follow you around tonight.
00:26:22You never know. You might need our help.
00:26:25You don't know werewolves like I do.
00:26:32You're the last person with access to silver bullets.
00:26:37No backup is coming as they thought I was making this werewolf thing up as a Christmas wind-up.
00:26:47That's fine. I have backup.
00:26:50From another division.
00:26:52Yes!
00:26:54We're gonna be famous, Luce. You'll have like a billion followers.
00:26:57It's here. In front of me.
00:26:59I may need some driving about.
00:27:04Oh, really? You just expect me to drive you about all night?
00:27:07That's not what I think.
00:27:08Oh, really? Well, I'm not-
00:27:09Mum, Dad. I know you hate each other's guts, but for now, we need to focus on the thing with claws and wants to kill us all.
00:27:15She's right. Anyway, for now, we'll have to investigate on foot.
00:27:19You can stay in the car if you want.
00:27:22No. I don't want. I'm not the bloody werewolf on the loose.
00:27:28God. I'm gonna tear my junk off.
00:27:31Are you scared, though?
00:27:32I'm not scared, dickhead.
00:27:33We need a plan. Look, there's not a plan.
00:27:38My van.
00:27:39What?
00:27:40I need to get the werewolf to chase us to my house, to my ice cream van, then lock it inside.
00:27:43And then what?
00:27:44I don't know. Blow it up or something. Call the army in to do it.
00:27:47At the more speed, though, do you?
00:27:49Maybe.
00:27:50Your house, four miles away.
00:27:52Yeah, that sounds like a terrible plan.
00:27:54Like anyone else who's a better one.
00:27:55Oh, fuck it. Look, my ice cream car.
00:27:57You're screwed.
00:27:59Can everybody please just stop bloody swearing all the bloody time?
00:28:02Look, it's Christmas. It's the birth.
00:28:05Dad, you've got your gun, right?
00:28:07I left it at home. I'll go back.
00:28:08No, we don't have time for that. Plus, we all need to stick together.
00:28:11It's a bit of a habit of his, forgetting his gun when he's had a drink.
00:28:15I wouldn't believe the amount of criminals who got away because he left it at home.
00:28:21Wait, the police have perished during these woods, right?
00:28:24So we just need to find a dead cop with a gun?
00:28:26I take it they'll be loaded with silver bullets?
00:28:28You'd best find one of those cops before that thing finds out.
00:28:31Listen.
00:28:34Sex.
00:28:37There's people having sex.
00:28:39He's lost it.
00:28:41Only instead of hearing voices, he's hearing sex sounds.
00:28:44I knew he had a porn fried brain.
00:28:47I did hear that.
00:28:50We all heard that, right?
00:28:51Doggers.
00:28:53It's a popular place for it.
00:28:54Busted doggers here for years.
00:29:01Are you sure about this, Lucy?
00:29:02Yes, we have to save them.
00:29:11Don't be scared, Rupert.
00:29:14Don't film this, you pervert.
00:29:35What's thugging?
00:29:36Seriously?
00:29:38Couples who like swimming in the woods.
00:29:42I'm so afraid.
00:29:43Dustin!
00:29:46Oh, fuck.
00:29:50Lucy!
00:29:54Carol?
00:29:55Roger?
00:29:57Hello.
00:29:59You said you weren't coming this week.
00:30:03Said your daughter was coming to stay.
00:30:05Yep.
00:30:06Yep, she, yeah, she, she, she, she, she is, she's here, she's...
00:30:09She's there.
00:30:11Hello.
00:30:15Well, we're game if you are.
00:30:17No, no, that's not...
00:30:19You all have to stop having sex because I don't hear the police.
00:30:23No, but my dad is.
00:30:27Run, all of you, run!
00:30:28Run!
00:30:47Ah!
00:30:49Ah!
00:30:50I'm so scared.
00:30:51No, no!
00:30:52Oh, no!
00:30:53Like the police.
00:30:55Oh, no!
00:30:56You're come to be here...
00:30:57No!
00:30:58No!
00:30:59Do so!
00:31:00I'm so scared.
00:31:02Oh, no!
00:31:03Oh, no!
00:31:05Oh, no!
00:31:07Oh, no!
00:31:08Oh, no!
00:31:09Oh, no!
00:31:10Oh, no, no!
00:31:11No!
00:31:12Oh, no!
00:31:13Oh, no!
00:31:14Oh, God.
00:31:21Was that a penis?
00:31:24Oh, God, sorry, that wasn't a penis.
00:31:29Give me the camera.
00:31:31Lucy.
00:31:32Lucy, no.
00:31:44Right, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
00:31:53It's been fun spending part of Christmas with your family, Lucy.
00:31:56I'll call you.
00:31:58Stop being such a square, it's an adventure.
00:32:00Oh, most of you can't.
00:32:04I leave you a better woman.
00:32:06In some part, I think it's a short time we spent together.
00:32:10Please.
00:32:12Tell the one that you're a coward.
00:32:14I'm no longer an extra.
00:32:20I feel I need to get off my chest the fact I got kicked out of the band months ago.
00:32:24I thought I was a bit of a square, too.
00:32:26I know, I followed on Instagram.
00:32:28I'll go on an interview at KFC next week.
00:32:30Oh, good luck.
00:32:32Rupert, don't deep throw an ice cream cone.
00:32:35You're just a frightened little puppy.
00:32:41Christ, be quiet.
00:32:42Every dog has its day.
00:32:44Why are you crying?
00:33:04He was a great guy.
00:33:05What?
00:33:08You're crying, too.
00:33:10Dad, tell Mom Dustin we'll live.
00:33:13Sounds like the werewolf's gone.
00:33:14We're just, we're just standing here like, like yemmings on a, I don't know what the expression
00:33:26is.
00:33:28Where the hell are we, Andrew?
00:33:30I'm not really sure.
00:33:31Charlie, don't tell me we're lost.
00:33:34I know the way out.
00:33:36Oh, Charlie!
00:33:37I've heard it all before.
00:33:38We spent bloody hours on the boiling hot streets in Italy, wandering around looking for a hotel
00:33:42when apparently he knew the way.
00:33:44And I got really bad sunstroke.
00:33:47Do you remember that?
00:33:48Finally.
00:33:48It was a really nice holiday, though, wasn't it, in Italy?
00:33:54In the end.
00:33:56And I really love those tiny little speedos that you wore on the beach.
00:34:00Mom, please.
00:34:03You didn't look at me in yourself.
00:34:06I'll repeat, you're gonna have to film from now on.
00:34:07It would be my honour.
00:34:15Oh, I don't know, Lucy.
00:34:18Maybe we should just go back for that gun.
00:34:23Rupert, I can film when the camera's on my arse.
00:34:28We don't have time, Mum.
00:34:30We're fine.
00:34:33It's way over there.
00:34:35Yeah, but there's more than one werewolf.
00:34:37One of the best hunters out there somewhere, too.
00:34:40Lucy.
00:34:41Maybe you should just go home.
00:34:59He looks like lasagna.
00:35:02It shouldn't make me hungry, but it does.
00:35:05Rupert, that's disgusting.
00:35:08I only had a mince pie today.
00:35:11We're back at the sleigh.
00:35:12Listen, sleigh bells.
00:35:13What happened to the reindeer?
00:35:26What happened to the reindeer?
00:35:31He's eaten them.
00:35:32Maybe the werewolf's lost, too.
00:35:46I don't think so.
00:35:47Is Val's coming this way?
00:35:48We've got five lasagnas.
00:35:59We need to play dead.
00:36:01Everyone lie down next to Dustin's body.
00:36:03Get really close.
00:36:05I can't.
00:36:07I can't even look at it.
00:36:08Mum, Dad, Rupert, trust me.
00:36:10It'll work.
00:36:11Rupert, keep rolling.
00:36:12We'll get real look at this thing.
00:36:13Carrie!
00:36:13Mum, get really close, and they're bloody twitching or anything.
00:36:17Wolves are super smart, but since we're alive, we won't be.
00:36:21It still looks really strange.
00:36:23Okay, just grab some guts out of Dustin's chest and rub them over yourselves like you've been mauled.
00:36:27What?
00:36:28Oh, no.
00:36:30What are you doing?
00:36:30No, just a thought of it.
00:36:32Mum, this is a health and safety nightmare.
00:36:35Mum, quickly.
00:36:36This is my favourite Christmas jumper, okay?
00:36:41It's from the Harrods.
00:36:44Fine.
00:36:48I've just got my nails done.
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:56It's stunk.
00:36:57Poor Hoda.
00:36:58What do you want to talk about?
00:37:00There's something really good to me.
00:37:03No.
00:37:03Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:37:33I don't know.
00:38:03He's trying to fly the sleigh with a bunch of dead reindeer.
00:38:18You said werewolves were smart.
00:38:21In general, yes.
00:38:24Looks like the Santa Claus part of it that wants to deliver toys is still active in there somewhere.
00:38:30Oh, God, that can't be hygienic, can it?
00:38:35All those body parts shoved in a sack like that.
00:38:40Yeah, he's a policeman!
00:38:41Where?
00:38:42There!
00:38:42Oh, he'd only been with us a week.
00:38:58I said all that.
00:38:59How many bullets inside his gun?
00:39:01Three.
00:39:11Failing finding any other policeman that's our lot, then?
00:39:15Leave it to me.
00:39:17Needs to be a clean shot to the heart.
00:39:20Have to get in pretty close.
00:39:22Let me guess.
00:39:39Forgot my glasses.
00:39:41First time that ever happened.
00:39:43Seriously.
00:39:44Think you can take the shot?
00:39:51We want a lot of cuddly toys.
00:39:54Yeah, but...
00:39:55Years ago.
00:39:57Just have to be careful of the catch.
00:40:00It can be tricky.
00:40:01No way.
00:40:11Be careful of the catch.
00:40:13It's right.
00:40:28Okay.
00:40:58You know you have to pull the trigger, right?
00:41:28Lucy!
00:41:30Lucy!
00:41:31No!
00:41:32Lucy!
00:41:33It's okay!
00:41:35It's okay!
00:41:36He's wounded!
00:41:37Lucy!
00:41:38I know!
00:41:39I know!
00:41:40It's Santa Claus and it just kind of throws you!
00:41:43I'll be the person responsible for shooting some...
00:41:44We'll get him next time!
00:41:45Right, give me that!
00:41:46Just give me the gun, okay?
00:41:47I'm going to finish this!
00:41:48Mum!
00:41:49You just wasted one of our only three bullets!
00:41:50Yeah?
00:41:51Well, at least I'm not afraid to use this!
00:41:52Crazy bloody woman!
00:41:53Wait!
00:41:54Wait!
00:41:55It's gone!
00:41:56It's following the church bells!
00:41:57The church bells ringing out like a dinner bell for that thing!
00:41:58It's following the church bells ringing out like a dinner bell for that thing!
00:41:59Yeah?
00:42:00Yeah, well, at least I'm not afraid to use this!
00:42:02Crazy bloody woman!
00:42:03Wait!
00:42:04It's gone!
00:42:05It's following the church bells!
00:42:06The church bells ringing out like a dinner bell for that thing!
00:42:07We'll lose everyone at the service!
00:42:08Half the f***ing town!
00:42:09The baker!
00:42:10Happy Harry!
00:42:11The hairdresser!
00:42:12The hairdresser!
00:42:13The hairdresser!
00:42:14No!
00:42:15No!
00:42:16No!
00:42:17No!
00:42:18No!
00:42:19No!
00:42:20No!
00:42:21No!
00:42:22No!
00:42:23No!
00:42:24No!
00:42:25No!
00:42:26No!
00:42:27No!
00:42:28No!
00:42:29No!
00:42:30No!
00:42:31No!
00:42:32No!
00:42:33No!
00:42:34No!
00:42:35The Harry, the hairdresser and the lollipop lady
00:42:38that stood at that crossing for ever!
00:42:41Families!
00:42:42It's gonna be okay.
00:42:57It's going to be okay.
00:43:06Look, Lucy.
00:43:08It's snowing.
00:43:12Everything's better when it snows.
00:43:18Didn't I read somewhere that lollipop lady was a bit of a pedo?
00:43:21They're all pedos.
00:43:23Might be.
00:43:25What?
00:43:26No, seriously.
00:43:27Every single person that goes to that church?
00:43:29Everyone knows there's a secret pedo ring in this town
00:43:32and that they all congregate at the church.
00:43:34It's their cover.
00:43:35A place where they can meet and say stuff in code.
00:43:38Vicar's most likely in charge of it all.
00:43:40When he says John 9, verse 6,
00:43:43what he's really saying is,
00:43:45meet you all outside the school at midnight.
00:43:49Yeah, makes sense that a church full of people
00:43:50would turn out to an empty school in the middle of the night.
00:43:54Yeah, I know.
00:43:55Just stop talking shit, Rupert.
00:44:00Pedos are not.
00:44:02We have to get to that church before they all arrive.
00:44:06Provided that we can find a way out of there.
00:44:08We're serving the back streets of Hastings in pursuit of a werewolf.
00:44:20Best Christmas ever.
00:44:23I heard a howl.
00:44:24Mom, what are you doing?
00:44:31As you can see, it's a red light.
00:44:33There's a bloody werewolf on the loose.
00:44:35Run it!
00:44:36I'm not finding a red light!
00:44:37It's not right.
00:44:39Mom, you go dogging.
00:44:40For God's sake, Carol,
00:44:41I'm the chief constable.
00:44:42Run the light.
00:44:43It'll turn green any second now.
00:44:45Now it's green.
00:44:55Hailey went dogging once.
00:44:56You're right.
00:44:58Really speed up a bit this one, please.
00:45:00We're going 30.
00:45:01Just like the side bed.
00:45:04Mom, where are you going?
00:45:05You've given us a little bit of a car park.
00:45:07I'm trying to turn the car around
00:45:09so we can get back into the town centre, darling.
00:45:12But you know what?
00:45:13It was very hurtful at this time,
00:45:15that we don't have anything in common.
00:45:17What about Lars Christ and Stevie?
00:45:20We both loved watching that film,
00:45:21you know, with Hugh Grant being the prime minister.
00:45:25I was pretending I was dying to watch the horror film
00:45:27with the other child.
00:45:27Mom, this is a dead idea.
00:45:28I'm just not going to reverse.
00:45:30Damn it.
00:45:31I thought it had an exit onto the main road.
00:45:33Oh, great.
00:45:38Just reverse already.
00:45:40Does anyone have any change?
00:45:41No.
00:45:48Do we have to let him in?
00:45:50Unlock the door.
00:45:50There isn't room.
00:45:52He'll die.
00:45:53What about the boots?
00:45:54I'm not risking my life going out there
00:45:56to shove a tramp in the bloody boot.
00:46:00Fine, I need the gun then, Mom.
00:46:02Yeah, please.
00:46:03I put it in the cup.
00:46:03Oh, my God, quickly, Mom.
00:46:14Oh, my God.
00:46:19Oh, my God.
00:46:19I put an eyeball on my car.
00:46:38I put a tramp eyeball on my car.
00:46:44What do we do?
00:46:45Does anyone have a plan?
00:46:46We just drive really fast
00:46:48and it'll fall off.
00:46:51I'm speechless.
00:46:52Then you get out really fast
00:46:54and shoot it.
00:46:54Oh, do I?
00:46:55Thanks a bunch, Dad.
00:46:56It's your web show.
00:46:57Wouldn't want to steal your limelight.
00:47:00God, what is it doing up there?
00:47:02Stopping its face
00:47:03while there was left of the pot, right?
00:47:06There's nothing.
00:47:07I can't believe that worked.
00:47:14You were saying, Lucy?
00:47:18Let's cancel Christmas.
00:47:22I'm going to finish him.
00:47:27What's happening?
00:47:28I can't see.
00:47:32I can't see anything.
00:47:34He's down.
00:47:37No.
00:47:38He's up again.
00:47:39Fuck!
00:47:40If we could just leave it,
00:47:42all go home
00:47:43and sit it out
00:47:44until the moon goes down
00:47:46and he hopefully turns back.
00:47:48I wish on half the town
00:47:49could have been eaten.
00:47:51No.
00:47:52It's not right.
00:47:53I can't see anything.
00:48:21Oh, dear.
00:48:22Oh, dear.
00:48:23Hey!
00:48:25Hey!
00:48:27No!
00:48:28No!
00:48:29Hey!
00:48:41Lucy!
00:48:43I hate ghost trains
00:48:45at the best of times,
00:48:46let alone ones
00:48:47with actual real-life werewolves inside.
00:48:49Unless it is.
00:48:51Well, we don't have to go in there.
00:48:55Yes, we do.
00:48:58So what are you waiting for?
00:49:00I'm scared.
00:49:01Okay?
00:49:05I can't.
00:49:06I'm sorry.
00:49:07I really can't this time, Lucy.
00:49:08I'll meet you back in the car.
00:49:11Rupert,
00:49:11don't make me tell everyone
00:49:13what you did with that donut
00:49:14when you were super horny.
00:49:16Ladies first.
00:49:16Is that real?
00:49:39I don't even want to know.
00:49:42That's fucking helpful.
00:49:43That's fucking helpful.
00:49:44That's fucking helpful.
00:49:49Sorry.
00:49:58Sorry.
00:49:59it. Lucy, was that a sound effect? I think so, yeah.
00:50:59Why is there nothing happening? I don't know and I don't like it.
00:51:19I got one selling real.
00:51:29I got one selling real.
00:51:39I just tried on something.
00:52:01Feels like a hand.
00:52:13Come on, let's go.
00:52:29Lucy, shoot him.
00:52:35It's jammed, it won't fire.
00:52:37Run!
00:52:39Oh, come on!
00:52:51Oh, come on!
00:53:07Strange way to dive.
00:53:21Strange way to dive.
00:53:35We're not going to die.
00:53:49If we don't die, can we have sex?
00:53:53You can cover your eyes if you want to.
00:53:55It's just...
00:53:56No.
00:53:57Do you have any mates who might be up for?
00:54:02No.
00:54:03Who's going to have to turn gay?
00:54:06Do you know any guys who might be up for?
00:54:10Rupert.
00:54:12I think we might actually die.
00:54:13I love you.
00:54:14Thanks.
00:54:15I love you too, I guess.
00:54:17I didn't really have sex with that jam donut.
00:54:18It was a rumour.
00:54:19Whatever.
00:54:20They found a jam donut on your plate.
00:54:21No, it was a cream filled donut.
00:54:22They sell them in the bakers.
00:54:23You can check their website.
00:54:24Rupert.
00:54:25It really doesn't matter right now.
00:54:27I'm sorry.
00:54:30I'm sorry.
00:54:31I'm sorry.
00:54:32I'm sorry.
00:54:33I'm sorry.
00:54:34I'm sorry.
00:54:35I'm sorry.
00:54:36I'm sorry.
00:54:37I'm sorry.
00:54:38I'm sorry.
00:54:39I'm sorry.
00:54:40I'm sorry.
00:54:41I'm sorry.
00:54:42I'm sorry.
00:54:43I'm sorry.
00:54:44I'm sorry.
00:54:45I'm sorry.
00:54:46I need a pulsation.
00:54:47I need a Familien of mine to get stuck.
00:54:48I know.
00:54:49I need a spaceship down there.
00:54:50Ah.
00:54:51Oh.
00:54:52Oh.
00:54:59That's notλά!!
00:55:00The camera.
00:55:13It works. You just have to release the catch like this.
00:55:29You're bleeding.
00:55:31Lucy, you're getting blood all over my seats.
00:55:35Just take this and put it on your wrist, darling.
00:55:38It won't help. I've got a bit.
00:55:40Oh, that's awful, folks.
00:55:45Now you listen to me.
00:55:48You are not turning into a werewolf, okay?
00:55:53And that's that.
00:55:55How long do you think before I turn?
00:55:57You need to keep out of the moonlight. You might delay it.
00:56:00And make sure you don't look directly into the moonlight.
00:56:03Best to keep your face covered with that sticky leather jacket of yours.
00:56:07It doesn't smell.
00:56:08Actually, Mum, stop. Turn the car around.
00:56:13Mum, stop. I will jump out, I swear.
00:56:15Do you have a death motion?
00:56:17I can't just give up. I have to end this.
00:56:20Look, I think you really need to stop throwing up.
00:56:23I don't care what you think. Turn the car around.
00:56:25I think it's inside.
00:56:43I don't know what to think anymore.
00:56:44Now, don't you speak like that, okay?
00:56:48Listen to me.
00:56:52It's all going to be okay.
00:56:54All right? I just...
00:56:55I just know it is.
00:56:58Even for someone who hates Christmas,
00:57:01it's going to be a bit more Christmassy than this.
00:57:03It's going to be mulled wine and Bond films and family.
00:57:08I'm sorry.
00:57:11It's my fault you two divorced.
00:57:14I heard you saying how hard it was to take care of me. I'm sorry.
00:57:17Oh, no.
00:57:18No, darling.
00:57:21Me and your dad, we just...
00:57:23We just fell out of love.
00:57:27Isn't true, Carol.
00:57:29Look, however this night ends,
00:57:32I have a question to ask.
00:57:35Rupert gave me a jelly ring earlier
00:57:37and it's just been sat here warm in my pocket.
00:57:46Where is it?
00:57:49He's in the grotto.
00:57:51He's crawled in there to die.
00:58:05But I can't finish him off.
00:58:10We can't kill Santa Claus.
00:58:13I need you to use this last bullet on me.
00:58:15I'm starting to change.
00:58:21I can feel that.
00:58:25Get away from me.
00:58:35Do something!
00:58:37Brown light's got into our blood now.
00:58:39Not much we can do.
00:58:41How come you know so much about werewolves?
00:58:47Killed a bunch of them during a full moon.
00:58:51The werewolves living in Hastings were the last ones in the world.
00:58:56Wanting to put an end to it all and drunk on cheap scotch,
00:58:59I went on a silver bullet rampage in their cave.
00:59:03Killed every single one of them.
00:59:05The last one put up a hell of a fight with some kind of leader.
00:59:10The alpha werewolf.
00:59:12Well, whatever the term is, he was a mean bastard.
00:59:16You could have saved yourself a lot of hard work.
00:59:18If you just killed the alpha werewolf force,
00:59:21all the others would have turned back to normal.
00:59:23Forever.
00:59:23You learn something new every day.
00:59:32You're a werewolf.
00:59:35All the stakes.
00:59:37And night shifts.
00:59:39You killed it.
00:59:41But I got you first, didn't I?
00:59:49Don't you understand, Dad?
00:59:50You're the alpha, because you killed the last one.
00:59:56An alpha with no pack.
01:00:00I'm completely confused.
01:00:02Dad's a werewolf.
01:00:05That would explain a lot.
01:00:06No, really, he is.
01:00:09In theory, if he dies, I'd be OK again.
01:00:16So would Santa.
01:00:17He looks completely normal.
01:00:19Where's all the pair?
01:00:21Only the alpha werewolf can change at will.
01:00:24You can control it, can't you?
01:00:26Each full moon, when I feed,
01:00:29I can turn into the wolf in an instant.
01:00:33Then turn right back.
01:00:34Like earlier today, that poor man in the park.
01:00:39But Santa Claus was a bit of a tough guy.
01:00:41Gave me the black eye.
01:00:43Oh, my God.
01:00:44If your comic says me dying will save the day, so be it.
01:00:50That last silver bullet has my name written all over it.
01:00:53Oh, no, look.
01:00:55Could just be something small made up.
01:00:57No, it's worth a try, Lucy.
01:00:59Could put an end to all of this for good.
01:01:04I was the only werewolf left.
01:01:06Very easy covering up murders when you're the chief constable.
01:01:13Won't be so easy for you.
01:01:16He's right, Luce.
01:01:17Just kill him already.
01:01:18It's getting late, and the camera battery's about to die.
01:01:21Turn off that camera!
01:01:22No, keep rolling.
01:01:26How can we be sure there are no other werewolves out there?
01:01:29A victim would have to survive the attack.
01:01:33Your hash cookies
01:01:34triggered a feeding frenzy
01:01:37that left zero heartbeats.
01:01:39Please, Lucy.
01:01:46Take me out of my misery.
01:01:50Your mom out of hers.
01:01:52You out of yours.
01:01:55This town out of its.
01:01:57You're my dad.
01:02:00I'm the guy who cheated on your mother.
01:02:03Broke a heart with some woman whose name I can't even remember.
01:02:05Some town tramp with a cop fantasy.
01:02:08You know what?
01:02:13You were right.
01:02:15You did cause the divorce.
01:02:18Because you were a mistake.
01:02:21Don't listen to him.
01:02:22You're still a waste of space.
01:02:24Hiding behind some bright red hair
01:02:27like it's some kind of substitute for a personality.
01:02:30You ruined our lives.
01:02:33Just as every day you set about ruining your own.
01:02:37You just fuck everything up.
01:02:39Do the right thing for once!
01:02:48Imagine that this is just out of a comic book.
01:02:52None of this is real.
01:02:53Well, at the very least.
01:03:04Forgive you, man.
01:03:06If she seems a little overbearing her tongues.
01:03:08Because she's had to put up with a hell of a lot from me.
01:03:17She has the biggest heart.
01:03:20And I'm about to eat it right out of her chest.
01:03:23No!
01:03:24No!
01:03:24No!
01:03:25No!
01:03:32No!
01:03:33No!
01:03:33Isn't he supposed to turn back to normal?
01:03:56Maybe he did.
01:04:00Sometime.
01:04:03Where am I?
01:04:09It's been quite a night.
01:04:12Do you remember anything?
01:04:14Good Lord, I remember its wild eyes as it leapt out at me.
01:04:20Are the reindeer okay?
01:04:22Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane.
01:04:38So here we are, we are on, and Santa will be back to work as normal tonight.
01:04:43This I know for a fact, as for the first time ever, he sent me a letter, thanking me for
01:04:49saving Christmas, no less.
01:04:51People have been making and sending me these really cool cards.
01:04:55They're even selling them in shops.
01:04:57And I've got this cool scar on my hands to remind you of everything that happened last
01:05:01year.
01:05:02Thought I would share that with my 103 new YouTube followers.
01:05:06And we've got Mum, just come and then stop pretending you don't want to be on camera.
01:05:10I don't want to be on the camera.
01:05:12You love it.
01:05:13Come on, son.
01:05:14Turn it, son.
01:05:15See Lucy, look.
01:05:16Hang on.
01:05:17Are you off and want a donut?
01:05:18No, not for me, thanks.
01:05:19I'm good.
01:05:20Oh, Lucy.
01:05:21This room needs tidying.
01:05:22Yes, I know.
01:05:23Well, when are you going to do it?
01:05:24Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane.
01:05:25He doesn't care if you're rich or poor, he loves you just the same.
01:05:29Santa and his sleigh just got sucked up into a U.N.R.
01:05:51You're just blasting off.
01:05:54Lucy, you missed it.
01:05:55I told you they were aliens.
01:06:25Thank you for teaching them to sleep.
01:06:27Wait, how are you doing this?
01:06:29You can't get into questions there.
01:06:30I took that ninety of them, too.
01:06:31Wait.
01:06:32I've noticed someone stressful, you ride theération around you, and tell me to come during this пред umas
Be the first to comment