- 3 hours ago
Lies & Alibis HD ( Comedy, Drama, Romance )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ray, can we explain?
00:00:03Hey man, I am so sorry, I-I-I...
00:00:05Now that's awful.
00:00:07Truly depressing data.
00:00:09I know this must look bad, but it's not what it looks like.
00:00:11You, stop talking now.
00:00:13Dorothy, you see the red Pontiac Fierro outside?
00:00:22He works for your husband.
00:00:24Oh, shit.
00:00:26But then I realized, imagine how much more impressive those numbers could be
00:00:29if people thought they could actually get away with it.
00:00:32Here, put these on.
00:00:34Two minutes, out the door.
00:00:35I'll take care of the photographer.
00:00:37You, ten minutes after that, half a mile down the road,
00:00:39there's an exon garage.
00:00:41Call a cow.
00:00:42Cynical?
00:00:43Well, I prefer...entrepreneurial.
00:00:48My former partner, the great Jack McAdoo,
00:00:51told me our job in life is not to judge the wants and desires of our fellow man.
00:00:55It's to profit from them.
00:00:57And while some might see this as an unraveling of our social fabric,
00:01:01I say, business is good.
00:01:07Ray.
00:01:08Ray.
00:01:09Great.
00:01:10Do me a favor, will you?
00:01:12Double check the receipts on the Fager account.
00:01:14I'm super sorry about the other night, Ray.
00:01:16I just lost her.
00:01:17No, good enough, Fager.
00:01:18That's the third time in the last three months.
00:01:20Ray, we need three dollars for Winnie's birthday.
00:01:23That is two months severance.
00:01:24If you need any context, we'll hook you up.
00:01:26And we got some issues with the new DMV holographs.
00:01:28Do you want to sign off on the new souvenirs?
00:01:30Uh, track me down this afternoon.
00:01:32Ray, I need approval on the Traber account.
00:01:33I did it. It's on your desk.
00:01:35Is this okay?
00:01:36Good.
00:01:40Uh, new client?
00:01:41You're 11 o'clock.
00:01:42You said you wanted bigger brains around here.
00:01:52Don't let the twins fool you.
00:01:53It looks like a faction, but they're actually in a battle for tank dominance.
00:01:58They also like to breed under banana leaves.
00:02:02You can call me Lola.
00:02:03Okay.
00:02:04I'd like to go by...
00:02:05Ray, Benjamin's root canal's going over.
00:02:06Also, Peter Miller's passport isn't scanning the way that we'd like it to...
00:02:11and I'll talk to you later.
00:02:14So, Lola, do you have any lunch plans?
00:02:19You, uh, worked under Randall Paul.
00:02:21Can I ask you where you left?
00:02:22I was one of 17 junior VPs in our division,
00:02:25specializing in interest derivatives,
00:02:27market risk exposure,
00:02:28plus a little P&L analysis on the side.
00:02:31Sounds...
00:02:32Almost as dull as it was.
00:02:34And just a point of clarification,
00:02:36I work with people and for people.
00:02:39Never under them.
00:02:40Never under them.
00:02:42And what would you say was your best quality?
00:02:45My patience.
00:02:47Great, great.
00:02:48So, how close to the street are you?
00:02:51Your shoes.
00:02:52Very fashionable.
00:02:53About five, six years ago.
00:02:55You look like someone who would care.
00:02:57Do you want to talk about it?
00:02:59Okay.
00:03:00I had banked some stock options from a blossomy internet startup
00:03:04and decided to seek enlightenment in the Holy Land.
00:03:07I would have guessed to bet.
00:03:10I'm old school.
00:03:12Can I ask you a question?
00:03:13Uh-huh.
00:03:14What exactly do you do?
00:03:15What exactly do you do?
00:03:16Well, this is a surprise.
00:03:18Hey, putty.
00:03:19Good to see you.
00:03:20How the fuck are you, man?
00:03:22Fucking good.
00:03:23Yeah?
00:03:24Getting any work?
00:03:25I'm retired.
00:03:26Yeah, I banked some options from this blossoming internet startup
00:03:30and decided to seek enlightenment in Tibet via the Middle East.
00:03:34The Holy Land, huh?
00:03:35No shit.
00:03:36Ray.
00:03:37I hear Jack's back on the radar.
00:03:38Well, uh, I wouldn't know about that.
00:03:39No?
00:03:40I don't keep in touch with your old boss?
00:03:41I thought it was like Batman and Robin.
00:03:42Without the capes.
00:03:43I heard he was seen at the airport.
00:03:44He's hiding down in a bungalow up the coast.
00:03:45Yeah, I heard it was a villa in Sweden.
00:03:46I wouldn't put too much stock on idle gossip.
00:03:47Yeah?
00:03:48There's nothing idle about a five million dollar contract on a guy's head.
00:03:50Excuse me, sir.
00:03:51Need to keep this lane clear.
00:03:52Yeah.
00:03:53Boys looking for some good guys.
00:03:54Ma'am?
00:03:55He's heading down to Bunklo up the coast.
00:03:57Yeah, I heard it was a villa in Sweden.
00:04:00I wouldn't put too much stock on idle gossip.
00:04:02Yeah, there's nothing idle about a $5 million contract on a guy's head.
00:04:05Excuse me, sir. We need to keep this lane clear.
00:04:11I was looking for some good guys. Ma'am.
00:04:15What the fuck are you looking at?
00:04:22That was interesting.
00:04:24Creepy.
00:04:25So what can you tell me about him?
00:04:27I just met him.
00:04:31Um, I'd say a high school graduate.
00:04:35Possibly a missionary or insurance salesman.
00:04:39Although with obvious connections to some sort of criminal enterprise.
00:04:42Okay. What else?
00:04:44So you know this or you heard this?
00:04:47I know that Jack McCadden conned the Sultan of Qatar at $15 million.
00:04:51Yeah, that's the legend.
00:04:53What about this rave?
00:04:55He was always just a front man.
00:04:57Word is after the score, Jack disappeared with the race cut of the Sultan's cash.
00:05:02A sultan?
00:05:03That's some real Indiana Jones shit that is.
00:05:05Language, bobo.
00:05:07Sorry. Okay.
00:05:08And would you say he's married or single?
00:05:11Divorced.
00:05:12If there were a woman in his life, she'd make him bathe a little more often.
00:05:17Excuse me.
00:05:18So does this Sultan still want Jack dead?
00:05:21What'd I hear?
00:05:22Five million dollar open contract on Jack McCadden's head.
00:05:25Five million's a lot of money.
00:05:27To clip a grifter, it certainly is.
00:05:29Okay, where is he now?
00:05:30No.
00:05:31No, no, no.
00:05:32Uh, I'll take it.
00:05:34Sir, when can you start?
00:05:35You ask me two questions and then offer me the job?
00:05:37Uh, three.
00:05:38I have a sense about people.
00:05:39We have to leave.
00:05:40Now, it seems like our new friend Ray knows a very valuable man.
00:05:53I don't know if Ray's still in touch.
00:05:55Oh, he's handsome.
00:05:57I think he's found religion.
00:05:59Yeah.
00:06:00Well, good is it for a man to have faith if his actions do not prove it.
00:06:04Con men don't reform.
00:06:07You simply find better angles.
00:06:12Okay, what do we do?
00:06:13We're a risk management firm.
00:06:15Which means?
00:06:16We're in the business of saving marriages.
00:06:19How do you do that?
00:06:20We grease the wheel to make state-of-the-art infidelity possible.
00:06:23People who cheat get caught because A, they want to,
00:06:26or B, they've found some place they said they weren't.
00:06:29Good morning, Jay-Z Incorporated.
00:06:31Mr. Williams is in a meeting right now. May I take a message?
00:06:34We create a false reality, making people appear to be where they're supposed to be.
00:06:38Mr. Norris, let me check.
00:06:42I'm sorry, your wife just got on a conference call.
00:06:44I'll try her when she gets off.
00:06:46I'll try her when she gets off.
00:06:54Bit Precinct.
00:06:55Sykes?
00:06:56Yeah, he's running files with Central. Can I help you?
00:06:59I can try him on his walkie if it's an emergency.
00:07:02So you help men cheat on their wives?
00:07:05And wives cheat on their husbands.
00:07:07We're an equal opportunity employer.
00:07:10You're a professional liar.
00:07:16Life is the great foundation of our society, Lola.
00:07:19Great outfit, honey.
00:07:20Can't take any flowers for no reason.
00:07:22And my personal favorite, don't worry.
00:07:24It happens to a lot of guys.
00:07:26That's just being polite.
00:07:28The fact is your average relationship wouldn't last two minutes if people told the truth.
00:07:32We just help maintain the illusion.
00:07:35Mom's happy, Dad's happy.
00:07:37And the kids don't know how to pick sides at Christmas.
00:07:40So this is all for the children, then?
00:07:42No, it is not.
00:07:43Families don't break up because of infidelity.
00:07:46They'll break up because someone gets caught.
00:07:48Let me guess.
00:07:49You're just a hard-working child of a broken home,
00:07:52trying to save others from the pain you went through.
00:07:55I just see people for the well-dressed, good-smelling animals they are.
00:08:00Make each sleep and make some more, preferably with someone else.
00:08:04But you can't really believe that.
00:08:07Not everyone operates on a purely primal level.
00:08:09A man is as faithful as his opportunities.
00:08:11Take your old boss, for example.
00:08:13Perfect example.
00:08:14Yes, he cheated on his wife.
00:08:16They broke up.
00:08:17They got back together.
00:08:18They've never been happier.
00:08:19When was that, about a year ago?
00:08:20Yeah.
00:08:21How did you know that?
00:08:22He just bought us lunch.
00:08:23He's been a client since January.
00:08:25Are you ready?
00:08:32I'll let you know.
00:08:34You dare defy your emperor!
00:08:40Robert, lobby.
00:08:44Two minutes.
00:08:45And you might want to pop a jacket on.
00:08:48Morning.
00:08:49You ever consider a more traditional line of work?
00:09:03Insurance?
00:09:04Sales?
00:09:05Making money's easy.
00:09:07Keeping yourself interested is something else entirely.
00:09:10Okay, here's the situation.
00:09:12In a few seconds, an angry wife is gonna come steaming through that door and raise Mary hell till she finds her cheating husband.
00:09:17Inside this is a cheap knock-off necklace.
00:09:21You can be anyone you want to be for the next five minutes.
00:09:24I need $2,000 a week, benefits, a month off, plus all regular holidays.
00:09:28Uh, well, we tend to work holidays.
00:09:30But, uh, we've got great dental and I can go as high as $1,500.
00:09:34What's going on, Ray?
00:09:35Hey, how you doing there?
00:09:37One second.
00:09:38Vision?
00:09:39Uh, that comes with a copay.
00:09:41Okay.
00:09:42The objective is to extricate him from this predicament with his balls still intact.
00:09:47Ray.
00:09:50Son of a bitch!
00:09:52Holy shit.
00:09:53How could you?
00:09:54I give you the best years of my life and you go and throw it all away to have your sick sex with some whore!
00:10:04I don't know who you think you are, Mrs. Hatch, but no one speaks to me like that.
00:10:08I can't work like this, Mr. Hatch.
00:10:10Juliette's Jewelers, not Bob's Big House of Diamonds.
00:10:13I
00:10:13Just be sure.
00:10:15Diamonds?
00:10:23To my dearest, on this special day, much love.
00:10:30What are you meeting here?
00:10:32Our office is in New York, so Mr. Hatch has been flying in members of the team to work on the design.
00:10:37Oh, Robert.
00:10:40Judith, do you like it?
00:10:42Robert.
00:10:46I think this concludes our business, Mr. Hatch.
00:10:48Yeah, but, uh, so if I wanted to examine some other items from your catalog, then how could we arrange that?
00:10:55Oh, well, I can have a catalog forwarded to your hotel room in Fiji.
00:11:01Hmm?
00:11:06You didn't tell her?
00:11:08Uh...
00:11:10Robert!
00:11:18We're going to Rodeo Drive, Hannibal.
00:11:20Yes, Mrs. Hatch.
00:11:21Mr. Hatch needs some new swim time. I'm so lazy.
00:11:24Uh, in future, please don't improvise travel arrangements.
00:11:27I was in the moment.
00:11:29I'll also need a cell phone.
00:11:31Right.
00:11:33And, uh, moments or not, you didn't have to make it a private island.
00:11:36We both know you had it coming.
00:11:39Company car?
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:42So I guess anyone can get away with anything these days.
00:11:44No, uh, we don't alibi crimes, and I will not be an instrument of revenge.
00:11:49Beyond that...
00:11:50Beyond that?
00:11:51It's all smoke and mirrors.
00:11:56So how rich do people have to be to hire us?
00:11:58We give discounts to cops, plumbers, teachers...
00:12:00Nice to give something back to the chronically underpaid.
00:12:03If it makes you feel any better, sometimes our clients stray, but then they go back a little wiser for the experience.
00:12:10Anything else?
00:12:11Overtime? Dress code?
00:12:13Yes, for both.
00:12:14Do we have a deal?
00:12:17If I'm there more than a year, I want profit sharing.
00:12:20Okay. Uh, one condition. Don't slut the spouse.
00:12:25Don't micromanage.
00:12:26Oh, man.
00:12:31Profit sharing?
00:12:32Perhaps that was a bit much.
00:12:34But I was temporarily seduced by her lavish, penetrating, truly sublime attention to detail.
00:12:44You see, my current line of work is all about planning for every conceivable contingency.
00:12:49Accounting for every detail, every nuance, and every possible mistake.
00:12:54I know exactly where he is.
00:12:57Why? Because I commit the one unpardonable sin, the one my old partner Jack would never abide.
00:13:03I am forced, on a daily basis, to rely on the intelligence of others.
00:13:10Ten days, Ray. Ten days I had to sleep with my wife. You got any idea how that is?
00:13:15Break the rules. These things happen.
00:13:17By the way, you'll be swapping the necklace you gave her with a real one in about two days.
00:13:20I've already billed your account.
00:13:21You realize I actually had to, uh, you know, you know, I should have just thinking about it.
00:13:27Well, uh, you could always leave her, Robert.
00:13:29Hey, I'd leave. I'd leave in a heartbeat.
00:13:31But, uh, it's no secret the money's off from her family.
00:13:34I leave, I'm ruined. You know that.
00:13:36We all have our crosses to bear. Now for our lesson in remedial cheating.
00:13:39The matches, uh, you know, it's a stupid habit. I just keep losing my light or something.
00:13:45Nothing from your liaisons goes in your pockets, on your breath or on your skin.
00:13:48Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.
00:13:50Robert, you've already met Lola?
00:13:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:58My, uh, son's getting married next month. Good girl. From a good family.
00:14:03But you know the hatch, man. You know, we always have a little something on the side.
00:14:08My grandfather, my father, me, and now my kid. Can you believe it?
00:14:12Amazing.
00:14:15So where's he not supposed to be going and who's he not supposed to be going with?
00:14:22Ray, uh, I'd appreciate it if you handled this yourself.
00:14:26Um, Robert, apart from the odd emergency, I do very little field work these days.
00:14:31You're my last personal client.
00:14:33Yeah, but I was your first personal client.
00:14:35I mean, think of it as a, as a wedding present to my fucking kid, huh?
00:14:39One you get to bill me for? After that, Lola can take care of me.
00:14:45Okay?
00:14:48Okay.
00:14:50Don't let the hatch thing bother you.
00:14:52It's just that some clients prefer working with men.
00:14:54So that man was your first client?
00:14:56That man's libido paid for the rent for the first few months.
00:15:00What, in startup help from the infamous Jack McCadden?
00:15:03No.
00:15:04He sounds like quite the character.
00:15:07The international man of intrigue, smart, handsome.
00:15:12How long did you two date?
00:15:14Okay. Jack is not a topic I care to discuss.
00:15:17Bad breakup?
00:15:19Drop it.
00:15:24Dropped?
00:15:25Yeah, she wants a friar to marry us.
00:15:32Like a fucking friar.
00:15:34What am I, Robin Hood?
00:15:36Come on.
00:15:38Look, don't get me wrong.
00:15:40I love Sandy.
00:15:41I fucking worship her.
00:15:42It's just, you know, shit.
00:15:43Till death do us part.
00:15:44Men weren't wired to be monogamous.
00:15:46I'm sorry.
00:15:47Just, you know, you gotta spread the seed.
00:15:48Hey, baby!
00:15:49Uh, your father told me you wanted to go away for the weekend.
00:15:52That's terrible, right?
00:15:53I'm a terrible person.
00:15:54I don't know you, Wendell.
00:15:55I guess you're right.
00:15:56All right, well, so this girl, she wants...
00:15:57Do I tell you her name, or...?
00:15:58No.
00:15:59All right.
00:16:00She wants to go to this bed and breakfast in Santa Barbara.
00:16:01Are, uh, a click and clack going to...?
00:16:02What?
00:16:03No, dude.
00:16:04Just me and her.
00:16:05Okay, there's a broker's convention in San Francisco this weekend.
00:16:21I book a room in San Francisco under your name, and I reserve a flight and a rental card.
00:16:28Okay.
00:16:29Then I book a room in Santa Barbara under my name, and give you a credit card to use while you're up there.
00:16:38Friday, you go to Santa Barbara, and I go to San Francisco, where I check into your room and sign in at the convention.
00:16:46I have dinner, make phone calls, in short, you become me, and I become you. Temporarily.
00:16:55What if Sandy tries to call me?
00:16:58Well, while we intercept all the calls, so if there's an emergency, I'll be contacted, and I'll contact you.
00:17:07Oh, shit.
00:17:09Dude, do you have a card?
00:17:11I don't.
00:17:13Anything else?
00:17:14No, I'm good.
00:17:16Good.
00:17:17Wendell?
00:17:18Yeah.
00:17:19In future, don't make me do this in front of your wife. It's kinda tacky, and it'll get you caught. Guaranteed.
00:17:32It'd be easy for a man in my line of work to become cynical on the subject of relationships.
00:17:41So what's in San Francisco?
00:17:43It's business.
00:17:44Uh-huh.
00:17:45What's her name?
00:17:47Lola, I prefer to keep my work life and my private life separate. It keeps things simple.
00:17:53Simple is boring.
00:17:54Boring is safe.
00:17:55And safe is for old people. It's fun. Want to keep going?
00:17:59I've got a plain sketch. Have a good weekend. But you see, romance is my greatest ally. It makes people vulnerable, distracted, and utterly idiotic.
00:18:16You sure you didn't tell anyone?
00:18:18In short, the perfect clients.
00:18:20We've been over this a thousand times.
00:18:22What'd you tell your boyfriend?
00:18:23That I'm visiting my mom. Trust me, he's an idiot.
00:18:29So after the wedding, how long before we get together?
00:18:33I don't know. We might have to cool it a little bit.
00:18:36Oh, shit! Does your boyfriend drive a black SUV?
00:18:39No!
00:18:40What?
00:18:41Will you calm down?
00:18:49You ever get a blowjob at a hundred miles an hour?
00:18:52Mm-hmm.
00:18:53Well, we're only going 60.
00:18:55Then you've got to step on it.
00:18:57Step on it.
00:19:00Ow!
00:19:09Hey!
00:19:10Hey!
00:19:11One second!
00:19:12Hey!
00:19:13Hey!
00:19:14One second!
00:19:15You've got about ten seconds before I rip off like a frozen monkey right here in the lobby.
00:19:19Which is for Jude, baby.
00:19:21Now, what can I do for you nice young people?
00:19:23We have a room booked under Elliot, Mr. and Mrs. Elliot.
00:19:27Hi.
00:19:28Wendell Hatch.
00:19:29Arrogant prick.
00:19:42Good to meet you.
00:19:43Hi.
00:19:44Hi.
00:19:45Hi, Wendell.
00:19:46Hello.
00:19:47Hello.
00:19:48Hello.
00:19:49Hello.
00:19:50Hello.
00:19:51Hello.
00:19:52Wendell Hatch.
00:19:53Good to meet you.
00:19:54Hi.
00:19:55Hi, Wendell.
00:19:56Hello.
00:19:57Hello.
00:19:58Hello.
00:19:59Hello.
00:20:00Hi.
00:20:01Hi.
00:20:02Hi.
00:20:03Hi.
00:20:04Hi.
00:20:05Hi.
00:20:06Hi.
00:20:07Hi.
00:20:08Hi.
00:20:09Hi.
00:20:10Hi.
00:20:11You son of a bitch.
00:20:12Hi.
00:20:13As a woman.
00:20:14What?
00:20:15It takes once and now on, Mr. Lloydsceğom.
00:20:16Good to see you.
00:20:17Good to see you.
00:20:18And you.
00:20:19God, did we have a hell of a time in Bermuda or what?
00:20:20My liver is still not talking to me.
00:20:21They forget to print your name tag?
00:20:22That's what you get for pre-registering.
00:20:24Oh, yeah.
00:20:25Say, Michael.
00:20:27Have you ever talked to that tax shelter guy.
00:20:29What was his name, Jack something?
00:20:31Well, I was hoping you could tell me.
00:20:32I've got so much loose chains tied up with that guy.
00:20:34Now I can't get the bastard on the phone.
00:20:36Still, you know what Jack used to say.
00:20:38The only sure investment is a tombstone.
00:20:40I know what he needs. Come on, I want you to meet somebody.
00:20:43Hey, Jimmy! Come on.
00:21:04Hello.
00:21:05Ray?
00:21:07Who's this?
00:21:09I think she's dead, right?
00:21:11I didn't...
00:21:13She's not waking up.
00:21:14Wendell?
00:21:15Oh, fuck! This is so fucked!
00:21:17Okay, Wendell, get a hold of yourself.
00:21:19She liked it rough, you know?
00:21:21And I just thought...
00:21:23Oh, fuck. She didn't say gum, right?
00:21:25I was listening. She never said gum.
00:21:27Okay, Wendell, would you check her pulse?
00:21:29She's blue! That's not normal, right?
00:21:31Check her pulse. Do you know how to do that?
00:21:33I gotta get out of here. I can't stay here.
00:21:35Wendell, you must not leave the room.
00:21:37I went to call an ambulance. It was an accident.
00:21:39You gotta help me, Ray. I can't go to jail. I'm not going to jail.
00:21:41Wendell?
00:21:42Fucking call an ambulance. This whole thing comes out. You understand me?
00:21:45You, your business, my father, your clients, this whole thing.
00:21:48You're gonna be ruined.
00:21:49Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
00:21:51Bullshit! You work for me, goddammit! You have to do what I say, Ray!
00:21:54Doesn't work like that, Wendell.
00:22:00You gotta help me, please.
00:22:04Please don't make me back, man.
00:22:08Please help me.
00:22:10Okay, I'll call you back in five minutes. Don't fucking move.
00:22:13Bobo.
00:22:18I'm getting grease on the money.
00:22:20Just a little bit.
00:22:21Putty.
00:22:22Hello?
00:22:23Hello?
00:22:24Hey, Putty, it's Ray.
00:22:27You up for a little freelance work?
00:22:29Ray?
00:22:30Someone's coming to sort this out.
00:22:31Oh, Jesus Christ. Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:22:33Now, Wendell, this is very important, so please pay attention.
00:22:36Okay.
00:22:37When he gets there, do not give him your real name. Do you understand?
00:22:43Oh, Jesus Christ. Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:22:46Now, Wendell, this is very important, so please pay attention.
00:22:49Okay.
00:22:50When he gets there, do not give him your real name. Do you understand?
00:22:55Oh, I'm Wendell. I mean, Pete.
00:23:01Hey, Wendell.
00:23:04Did she come with the room?
00:23:06What?
00:23:07Did the dead girl come with the room, or did you bring her here yourself?
00:23:11It was an accident.
00:23:13It usually is.
00:23:14No, no, no. It was her idea.
00:23:19Not bad.
00:23:25No one saw you move the body.
00:23:26No.
00:23:27Wendell.
00:23:28Wendell, look at me.
00:23:29Did anyone else know you were taking her out of town?
00:23:31No, I mean, the guys knew where I was going, but they didn't know who, so...
00:23:32Is anyone likely to come looking for her?
00:23:33Uh...
00:23:34She is a Mexican.
00:23:35No, she is a Mexican.
00:23:36She is a Mexican.
00:23:37No, she is a Mexican.
00:23:40Or to look at me.
00:23:41Did anyone else know you were taking her out of time?
00:23:44No, I mean, the guys knew where I was going, but they didn't know who, so...
00:23:48Has anyone likely to come looking for her?
00:23:55She has a Mexican.
00:23:58She's a boyfriend who's a Mexican.
00:24:00He is a Hispanic-American, but he would fucking kill both of us if he knew.
00:24:05The guy at the bed-and-breakfast saw me, I think he saw me.
00:24:07You know, this was all her idea, so I don't...
00:24:10Shut up, Wendell.
00:24:11Did you have any idea?
00:24:13You killed a girl.
00:24:15I'm sorry, believe me.
00:24:17Fuck, you think I wanted this to happen?
00:24:20Look, the good thing is, it's your name on the hotel bill, right?
00:24:25Not mine.
00:24:26So technically, I wasn't even there.
00:24:30What is this?
00:24:32You're not gonna tell my dad, are you?
00:24:34Give me my credit card.
00:24:43Okay, get moving.
00:24:47And don't ever, ever let me see you again.
00:24:56Ow!
00:24:56Hello, uh, is this the number for reporting a lost credit card?
00:25:09Yeah.
00:25:11Ray Elliot.
00:25:12Hello?
00:25:36Min?
00:25:39Cam?
00:25:40I know what you're thinking, but
00:26:09a deal is a deal.
00:26:39Darling, you should really try and give me a little more notice.
00:26:46Come on in.
00:26:48Sorry to interrupt.
00:26:50Are you busy?
00:26:51Yes, Ray.
00:26:52I was having a glamour night.
00:26:54I'm going to tell you something, and I don't want you to ask any questions.
00:27:02Well, you all know how good I am at that.
00:27:05We slept together last night.
00:27:09Did I like it?
00:27:12I said no questions, remember?
00:27:15Did you like it?
00:27:17Lola.
00:27:18How did you know I wasn't with someone else last night?
00:27:22What?
00:27:24I thought the idea was to keep our private life and our work life separate.
00:27:28Okay.
00:27:29Go ahead.
00:27:30You invited me over yesterday morning.
00:27:35I showed up at 7.30pm with a bottle of wine.
00:27:37What kind?
00:27:38Molo.
00:27:39And you cooked me dinner.
00:27:40Well, don't tell my mother the story.
00:27:41She'll know you're making it up.
00:27:42Uh, a roast.
00:27:43Lasagna.
00:27:44I can make lasagna.
00:27:45Fine.
00:27:46Lasagna.
00:27:47I showed up at 7.30.
00:27:48We had dinner.
00:27:49And I didn't leave until 9 o'clock in the morning.
00:27:50Just one more question.
00:27:51What?
00:27:52What?
00:27:53What?
00:27:54What?
00:27:55What?
00:27:56What?
00:27:57What?
00:27:58What?
00:27:59What?
00:28:00What?
00:28:01What?
00:28:02What?
00:28:03What?
00:28:04What?
00:28:05What?
00:28:06What?
00:28:07What?
00:28:08What?
00:28:09What?
00:28:10What?
00:28:11What?
00:28:12Are you gonna call me?
00:28:34So you're the only one that can put my kid and that fucking girl together at the bed
00:28:38Plus the innkeeper, but I don't see how Enel's ever gonna register on the cops radar. Well, that's a relief
00:28:44So how much you want to make this go away?
00:28:47That's not what this is about. I'll give you 23 grand cash right now to keep my kid out of this
00:28:52Hey, it's what I got my emergency cash reserve. Robert. I don't want your money
00:28:56No, no, no. Hello in the fucking conversation
00:29:07Our actions have consequences yours mine everyone's
00:29:17If this is some kind of con ray what I pay up and this chick shows up with my
00:29:2223 grand on some beach somewhere. No way. No fucking way. He's dead
00:29:29Your son killed her deal with it so that I don't have to
00:29:37Okay, Ray, I see what I can do
00:29:52Yeah, hey
00:30:11It's right working this weekend come on man, you know the dead never sleep
00:30:16So I have my old friend my been so you heard anything you mean Jack McCat
00:30:21I've been meaning to call you. He just came in
00:30:28Direct from an extended tour where he played for and with many the crowded heads of Arabia and their wives
00:30:36Yeah
00:30:39Camry, is this a joke?
00:30:41What?
00:30:42That's not Jack McCadden
00:30:44Are you sure? He's the same age same
00:30:49same build
00:30:50Yeah, but here's the thing Jack doesn't have a snake tattooed on his face
00:30:58Or a steel bolt through his penis
00:31:03I gotta go
00:31:05Can I help you?
00:31:18Uh, yeah detective Bryce to see mr. Elliot
00:31:22I'm sorry I've never seen her before
00:31:28Right and your credit card was stolen or lost just the day before it was used to check into the bed and breakfast
00:31:35Neat how that worked out, isn't it?
00:31:37You're not LAPD are you?
00:31:38No I used to be I'm in Santa Barbara now
00:31:40It's where the prices live with their occasionally wayward daughter
00:31:44What exactly do you do here at Elliot Consulting mr. Elliot?
00:31:49Risk assessment and management
00:31:53And how does a former confidence man become an expert on that?
00:31:57The same way you get to Carnegie Hall detective
00:32:00Practice practice practice practice
00:32:02Where is miss price mr. Elliot or should I call you mr. Avalon mr. Morgan mr. Wilde?
00:32:08What about your old boss jack mccadden would he know and I heard this crazy story the other day about a really rich Arab wanting to see jack mccadden dead
00:32:15I haven't spoken to jack in a couple of years now when grifters and cons knock each other off. I really don't give a shit
00:32:20But miss price's father's an assemblyman. He's pushing really hard for us to find his daughter
00:32:27Where is miss price mr. Elliot or should I call you mr. Avalon mr. Morgan mr. Wilde
00:32:30And I get to go home to my husband is probably letting our daughter overdose on pizza every night. I'm not in town
00:32:47It sounds painfully domestic
00:32:49Well, to me, it's a little piece of heaven
00:32:51Now you make me stick around in town and I'm gonna do my damnedest to make sure that I find something to make it worth my while
00:32:58For my scrapbook
00:33:02You know I you don't have to wave those things dry anymore
00:33:05It's a new process they've had it for a couple of years now
00:33:19Download this will you please
00:33:28What the cop want?
00:33:30Oh, it's nothing
00:33:32I'm gonna need you to cover some of my accounts over the next few weeks
00:33:36Not a problem
00:33:37Good
00:33:44Hey Ray
00:33:46Butty
00:33:47How nice to see you
00:33:50Gotta go for a ride
00:33:51Oh, you're holding me up for that B&B thing
00:33:53It's not like you
00:33:54I'm hurt you'd even think such a thing
00:33:58I take it this is not optional
00:34:00That's a real good way to put it
00:34:07So who are you working for these days?
00:34:09Yeah, a guy used to run out of Salt Lake
00:34:12The Mormon?
00:34:13Yeah, you heard of him?
00:34:14A really nice guy
00:34:15I don't want these six guys who'd argue that point
00:34:18If they were still around
00:34:20Well, we don't keep track
00:34:21But me and Bobo get benefits
00:34:23Dental, eye care
00:34:25Nice uniforms
00:34:26Nice uniforms
00:34:34I remember you
00:34:36Do you?
00:34:40I'm Adele
00:34:42Pleased to meet you
00:34:43And you are?
00:34:46Too old
00:34:59Do you have a bathroom?
00:35:00It's a little crowded in here right now
00:35:15No, I may be married to the old creep
00:35:19But he doesn't own me
00:35:21Well, that's good to know
00:35:23So where are you from, young lady?
00:35:25South Dakota
00:35:27Tiny little town
00:35:28Tiny little town
00:35:33How are you enjoying life in the big city?
00:35:36Yeah, right
00:35:38It's like being in prison
00:35:40In a nice pool
00:35:42But
00:35:44I do manage to find
00:35:47The odd distraction
00:35:50Bridge?
00:35:54Come on
00:35:56Let's do it right here
00:35:57Let's do it right here
00:36:07Are you insane?
00:36:09It wasn't my idea
00:36:10Doesn't matter whose idea it was
00:36:12He'll tear your head off
00:36:13He catches you near one of his wives
00:36:15You dragged me here, remember?
00:36:16So let's get this audience underway
00:36:17I spend a fortune on landscaping
00:36:30I think it's worth it
00:36:34That's very beautiful
00:36:37Thank you
00:36:39Buddy tells me you've met one of my wives
00:36:41Buddy tells me you've met one of my wives
00:36:44How does that work, the two things?
00:36:46Three
00:36:47Three?
00:36:49Congratulations
00:36:50Our doctrine says celestial marriage is the gate to exaltation
00:36:56Sorry, do they work in shifts or is it kind of a group thing?
00:36:59Things manage to work themselves out
00:37:04But enough about me
00:37:07Are you married?
00:37:09No
00:37:11I guess I just haven't met the right women
00:37:15Funny
00:37:18So I hear there's a price on the head of your old partner, Jack
00:37:23I also hear that he may be in town
00:37:27And you want me to tell you where he is?
00:37:31You know my chosen profession, right?
00:37:35Yes
00:37:37People have been hiring a hitman for thousands of years
00:37:40Ever since some Neanderthal gave some other Neanderthal a half a mastodon
00:37:45To clock his brother with a rock
00:37:47Neanderthal?
00:37:48I would have taken you for a creationist
00:37:50More of a fragmentist, really
00:37:55Which is where you come in
00:37:57Do I?
00:37:59I think having a man of your skills
00:38:02Covering my tracks
00:38:04Would be extremely helpful
00:38:06Well, I'm sorry, but I don't alibi crimes
00:38:09You already alibied one
00:38:11For the Hatch family, wasn't it?
00:38:13That was the first and last
00:38:18I think not
00:38:20No, I think from now on there will be many, many more
00:38:26It must be coming an accessory after the fact strikes you as a reasonable way to spend the next ten or fifteen years of your life
00:38:34Good evening, Ray
00:38:37We'll be in touch
00:38:38We'll be in touch
00:38:42The genius of Jack McCadden was that he was part magician, part artist, part ghost
00:38:48Ray, I hear Jack's back on the radar
00:38:50You guys are like Batman and Robin
00:38:52Although it was a privilege to work alongside him
00:38:55What's his name? Jack something?
00:38:56I've gone to great pains to leave that life behind
00:38:58Jack McCadden, would he know?
00:39:00So I hear there's a price on the head of your old partner
00:39:03But that's the problem with the past
00:39:05Bad breakup?
00:39:07Drop it, it's never really dead
00:39:09Until you are
00:39:10Dropped?
00:39:12That's not a very comforting thought
00:39:19Dude, it's Cam
00:39:21I think it's Jack
00:39:23Cam, I can't really deal with this right now
00:39:26Something came up
00:39:28But if it's him, people are gonna come looking for him
00:39:30Hey asshole
00:39:33Uh, no, it's just, there's something I've got to deal with
00:39:36And, um, I'll call you later
00:39:38Alright, okay
00:39:39Bye
00:39:43Wendell
00:39:45Wendell's posse
00:39:47You dick
00:39:48I can't believe you told my dad
00:39:50Someone had to straighten things out
00:39:51I don't know who you think you are
00:39:52But you don't threaten me
00:39:53And you don't threaten my father
00:39:54You're a fucking employee
00:39:56You understand me?
00:39:57You're a butler
00:39:58You're a burger flipper
00:40:03So let's step outside and get this party started
00:40:08Uh, okay
00:40:10Yeah
00:40:12What is that?
00:40:13Is that sort of Kung Fu?
00:40:15Taekwondo
00:40:17Oh, Taekwondo
00:40:23Um, why don't we do it here?
00:40:24I mean, I know it's been crowds
00:40:25But, um, if you'd move those two chairs and I'll shift this to Tate
00:40:29This one
00:40:30Hey!
00:40:32Oh!
00:40:33Ah!
00:40:34Ah!
00:40:35What you talking about?
00:40:36Want some more of this, pal?
00:40:37No
00:40:38I need to get all philosophical
00:40:39But a life has been taken and someone needs to account for that
00:40:41Hey, okay
00:40:43Ah!
00:40:44Do you follow me?
00:40:45Please don't kill me
00:40:46Yeah
00:40:47I'll pay you
00:40:49Go, go, go!
00:40:51Come on!
00:40:53Kill her?
00:40:54I'm gonna kill you
00:40:55Stupid asshole
00:40:56I think it broke my fucking nose
00:40:58Oh!
00:40:59Oh!
00:41:00Oh!
00:41:01Oh!
00:41:02Come here!
00:41:04It hurts
00:41:05Yeah
00:41:06Using your intellect is nice
00:41:08But nothing beats the thrill of delivering a good old family
00:41:11Oh!
00:41:12Oh!
00:41:13What do you think of all this water like?
00:41:14Oh, my God
00:41:15Oh, my God
00:41:16Oh, my God
00:41:17Oh, my God
00:41:18Oh, my God
00:41:19Oh, my God
00:41:20Wakey, wakey
00:41:37Oh, well, look who's, uh
00:41:40I thought you were gonna sleep forever, princess
00:41:42Uhh
00:41:43I think there's been a mistake
00:41:44Oh, yeah
00:41:45I hope so
00:41:46My, uh
00:41:47My house is that way
00:41:48that way this ain't no car service motherfucker this is your worst nightmare yeah well my worst
00:41:54nightmare has rats in it oh we're gonna get to that i can guarantee that i know you oh yeah you
00:42:01think so you're hatch's driver that's right asshole and what what is that supposed to mean
00:42:06what do you think you're better than me is that you're trying to put me down man
00:42:10motherfucker let me suggest something to you i i suggested you fucking get real smart real fast
00:42:15and tell me where the fuck she is you better get smart boy you better get smart he'll be annoyed but
00:42:19who heather heather price motherfucker do you remember her now little b cup ass like butter
00:42:33right mine like a fucking pervert took her to the hotel in san bravo let me tell you something
00:42:39she was my fucking girlfriend man thanks it wasn't a hotel man it was a bad aggressive dog
00:42:43fuck up the bribe but keep attention man i wasn't at that hotel i reported my credit card stolen
00:42:49uh i spent the weekend with friends check it out with any of you expecting somebody believe that
00:42:53bullshit it's not your best shot it's the truth
00:42:56come on give me something if i can engage my suspension of disbelief
00:43:04give me something man something within the realm of plausibility
00:43:08she wouldn't be cheating on me man no matter what she's done or why she's ducking
00:43:15get up
00:43:16i have the capacity to forgive
00:43:18unfortunately tonight that's not gonna bring salvation to your fucking ass
00:43:24you want me to get extreme pain or makeover on your ass where is she
00:43:33she's gonna be information out of someone you're gonna be smart enough to let them answer
00:43:41all right right point taken pointing back off man now where is she go ahead she's
00:43:49she's dead
00:43:52i didn't do it she's kill camp man she can't i like the cure and you can kill me but it's
00:44:00not gonna change what we're doing no no i didn't do you know who fucking did it wendell hatch
00:44:05he was having an affair with me he came to me to help him set up an alibi no way it can't
00:44:10fucking be wendell hatch man that's bullshit man could be that little anal wart
00:44:15hey think about it hannibal were there times when she wanted to meet people who you'd never
00:44:19met what bdi right did she want to take a shower before she was with you should we do that
00:44:27jewelry does she have any new jewelry uh a bracelet or a necklace
00:44:31fuck talk to me
00:44:35he's fucking right
00:44:39i caught her i caught her with some big ass fucking zirconian diamond earrings
00:44:45shit is right man it happens more often than you think
00:44:49come on fellas i know where he lives man come on what were you remember what about that time
00:44:55when we went to gino party and i told you we seen us
00:44:57don't do it hannibal there's a better way better than shooting his ass better than you
00:45:04going to prison for avenging a girl who was fucking around on you
00:45:07better than you throwing away what you've got going on for a third strike that will get you
00:45:12the needle the needle motherfucker what do you know about me man you're smart huh
00:45:16what do you know about you don't know me man yeah the ink says you've been inside
00:45:20and i know you drive for hatch to pay for your tuition please
00:45:24promise he goes down i can make it happen you better make it happen because if he walks
00:45:30i'm gonna finesse it my way you follow me you've made yourself very clear
00:45:35i almost capped my first one
00:45:44excuse me
00:45:51hello
00:45:54hey my friend
00:45:56is this a bad time
00:45:58it's a very bad time
00:46:02can you come by i was hoping we could firm up some dates for our business
00:46:06i can't tonight
00:46:09i've got uh i've got laundry
00:46:14tomorrow then
00:46:16oh and by the way
00:46:17a gentleman contacted me regarding you this afternoon
00:46:22what did he want he wanted me to take you out
00:46:25well i'm pretty sure i'm not your type
00:46:28it wasn't some sodomite tea party ray
00:46:31what did you say
00:46:36i said it was out of the question
00:46:38as we have unfinished business you and i
00:46:41what did he offer you
00:46:44man should always know his worth
00:46:46your asking price is 23 000
00:46:50tell hatch you'll take it
00:46:54very impressive
00:46:56but suicide is still a sin ray
00:46:59take the contract at least i know he won't be hiring anyone else
00:47:03you know if i had jack mcatt's whereabouts you and i might never need to speak again
00:47:08five million dollars that's a lot of forgiveness
00:47:11i'll see you tomorrow
00:47:15shit
00:47:23lucky for you i didn't make any other plans tonight
00:47:45what happened
00:47:48opera
00:47:51what happened
00:47:54i was uh carjacked
00:47:57doubtful
00:48:01care to try again
00:48:04it was hatch's driver
00:48:08why would he come after you
00:48:11it's better if you don't know
00:48:14i think i can decide what i can't handle
00:48:18well
00:48:27uh
00:48:29it was hatch's son
00:48:31he spent last week in santa barbara
00:48:36where he killed his date
00:48:38and i we were on the job
00:48:43i got that guy putty to take care of it
00:48:48and now the cops are all over me
00:48:50and a very bad man has been hired to kill me
00:48:53are you sure this job is worth it
00:48:56it's not normally this bad
00:48:59you ever consider asking your old partner for help
00:49:06it's not so easy
00:49:09it's not so easy
00:49:09why because you're jack mccadden
00:49:14it makes a certain amount of sense
00:49:18what that guy putty said
00:49:20what that guy putty said
00:49:21your trip to san francisco
00:49:23how much it must have cost to start up your company
00:49:26plus you calling jack your boss
00:49:30when i really can't see you ever working for anyone
00:49:33a woman can tell when a man's lying ray
00:49:36if she's paying attention
00:49:39and if she really wants to know
00:49:40and if i can figure it out
00:49:43i might not be the only one
00:49:45it's funny
00:49:47um
00:49:48you think i am jack
00:49:51the detective thinks i killed jack
00:49:54and the mormon thinks i know where jack is hiding out
00:49:57so who's right
00:49:59i know you won't believe me ray
00:50:03but not everyone's working an angle
00:50:06well
00:50:09that may be
00:50:12but for five million dollars
00:50:14somebody might take a chance
00:50:17then i suppose you have a choice to make
00:50:21i suppose i do
00:50:25you look like a man with a problem
00:50:39several
00:50:42care to add to the burden
00:50:45i need an alibi for thursday night
00:50:49something extremely sturdy
00:50:52well the only absolutely airtight alibi
00:50:58is death
00:51:00what's happening thursday night
00:51:07let me explain something
00:51:13it uh helps
00:51:14if i know where you're going to be
00:51:16so i can pretend you're somewhere else
00:51:18honey
00:51:20fine
00:51:28i'll be at the elroy hotel
00:51:30but that's all you get
00:51:33and uh
00:51:35where would you like to pretend to be
00:51:37does it matter
00:51:40it's your knack
00:51:42thank you adele
00:51:53how about this
00:51:56how about if i write you a check right now
00:51:59we forget we haven't met
00:52:01you have five million in your checking account
00:52:08unless you're trying to tell me that jack is already a non-issue
00:52:13you wouldn't have me waste my time looking for a man who's already passed on to the
00:52:18greater celestial court
00:52:19would you
00:52:21would you
00:52:23would you
00:52:25anything else ready
00:52:30not right now
00:52:31not right now
00:52:32so uh
00:52:46is this a social call
00:52:48business actually
00:52:51i've heard you want my boss dead
00:52:53excuse me
00:52:55excuse me
00:52:55please mr hatch i'm on a deadline
00:52:57i kind of thought that you and ray was doing
00:53:01you thought wrong
00:53:01well can i ask why
00:53:04no
00:53:06now
00:53:09your only problem is
00:53:12the man who you approached to get the job done
00:53:15is now working with ray
00:53:16you understand that there's a difference
00:53:20between wanting somebody dead and actually doing something about it
00:53:24and here i thought that you were the proactive captain of industry type
00:53:30my mistake
00:53:32i won't waste your time
00:53:34okay
00:53:37okay
00:53:38so let's say uh
00:53:41hypothetically that i was remotely interested in this thing
00:53:45let's say hypothetically you show up here tomorrow with $100,000 cash
00:53:49and
00:53:52should i bring something else
00:53:55your appetite
00:54:00come in
00:54:05so
00:54:07it's not a problem
00:54:08for you sweetie nothing's a problem
00:54:10good
00:54:11how's things with you and ted
00:54:14oh i don't know
00:54:16maybe i should have tried harder
00:54:18well uh
00:54:19there's no rule that says you can't make up with your husband
00:54:22if you uh
00:54:24if you still love him
00:54:25wow
00:54:27did ray elliot actually just use the l word without smirky
00:54:32i'm just saying
00:54:33oh my god
00:54:35ray's got a girlfriend
00:54:36to be honest with you dorothy
00:54:43i'm not sure what i've got
00:54:45i'm not sure you do
00:54:46i'm not sure you do
00:54:47i'm not sure you do
00:54:48i'm not sure you do
00:54:52ray
00:54:53how's it going
00:54:54pretty much as i expected
00:54:56let's get rolling
00:54:58all right ladies
00:55:00it's on
00:55:01yes mr sykes
00:55:04that's right
00:55:05ray would consider it a personal favor
00:55:09oh wendell hatch
00:55:11yeah
00:55:12detective sykes is detective pulver
00:55:15we'd like you to come down to the station and answer a few questions
00:55:17how well do you know ray elliot
00:55:21he's involved in a missing person case we're working on
00:55:24he is
00:55:25what did he just say
00:55:26young lady named heather price
00:55:28see we believe mr elliot took her to a bed and breakfast this weekend
00:55:32she hasn't been hurt from since
00:55:34mr elliot took her to a bed and breakfast
00:55:38what do i always tell you about mumbling
00:55:40no one can hear you
00:55:41seems like he's been spinning some tale to the santa barbara police department
00:55:47about how his credit cards were stolen
00:55:48but we're pretty sure
00:55:49that he killed her
00:55:52thank you
00:55:54you know anything about it
00:55:56why would you think that i would
00:55:58one of the officers started talking to mr elliot
00:56:01and he said there was an altercation at the bar
00:56:03oh
00:56:04i don't know him
00:56:06but he works for my father i think sometimes
00:56:09and i was in this bar and he came in and he was drunk
00:56:12and he was really really drunk
00:56:14were there words exchanged
00:56:17words
00:56:19yeah words
00:56:21you know those things you use to form sentences
00:56:23only this time in a hostile context
00:56:26yeah there were words
00:56:27but it just you know like
00:56:29hey you jerk
00:56:31you know so it wasn't anything
00:56:33but he did hit me out of nowhere
00:56:35he just swung at me
00:56:36and we didn't talk about a missing
00:56:38dead girl
00:56:39that's what your question was
00:56:41okay
00:56:45okay
00:56:47thanks for clearing that up
00:56:49mr hatch
00:56:50well um
00:56:51i hope you find this guy
00:56:53because that's terrible
00:56:54hey you know what
00:56:55we always get the bad guy
00:56:58mr hatch
00:56:58as a matter of fact
00:56:59the owner of the bed and breakfast
00:57:00is going to come in
00:57:01and take a look at some pictures
00:57:02great
00:57:03you ever been to this place
00:57:04shady grove in santa barbara
00:57:06no i haven't been
00:57:07hey hey
00:57:08it's just routine mr hatch
00:57:10we want to mix in some photos
00:57:12with mr elliott's
00:57:13you know
00:57:13give the guy some faces
00:57:14to choose from
00:57:15look it's good
00:57:16i mean don't you have to ask
00:57:17my permission before you do that
00:57:18i don't mind
00:57:18i mean he's not going to pick you out
00:57:20so what's the harm
00:57:22no it's just
00:57:23fuck
00:57:23detectives
00:57:24oh don't
00:57:25excuse us for a minute
00:57:26belroy hotel
00:57:37sorry about that
00:57:40so what were you saying
00:57:42oh nothing nothing
00:57:43i just remembered i have a thing
00:57:45thanks for coming in by the way
00:57:46sure
00:57:46something like that
00:57:57i think
00:57:59you've earned yourself
00:58:00a store credit
00:58:02shady grove
00:58:05matthew clump please
00:58:06speaking
00:58:08mr clump congratulations
00:58:10today is your lucky day
00:58:12you have just won a night of total luxury
00:58:15in beautiful los angeles
00:58:17and all for being a loyal subscriber to bnb magazine
00:58:20yes we'd remove all the outstanding items from your bill
00:58:23plus give you a small credit
00:58:24you got it
00:58:25and those would be red roses
00:58:27yes i'd like one of those
00:58:29okay no problem
00:58:30right so deliver the envelope
00:58:32to the front desk of the elroy hotel
00:58:34that's right
00:58:34adele
00:58:38these flowers are a pale comparison to you
00:58:41love bob
00:58:43who's bob
00:58:45bob's the guy who made the mistake of sending my wife flowers
00:58:50i'll let her out of your sight
00:58:53i'll let her out of your nursery
00:58:53i'll let her out of your own
00:58:54way
00:58:56i'll set her best
00:58:56so with the
00:59:10you can get this
00:59:12after that
00:59:12but we don't know
00:59:13The dressing room?
00:59:15Unless you boys want me to strip right here.
00:59:28I was wondering when you were going to show up.
00:59:30Ray, I could just eat you up.
00:59:32Well, just hold that thought.
00:59:34Just get me a gift certificate.
00:59:39That was from you.
00:59:41Ray, you are going to spoil me.
00:59:44You know, I think I am.
00:59:48Can you be at the El Roy Hotel tomorrow at 6.15pm?
00:59:53I've got us a room.
00:59:56Oh no, I'd have to miss choir practice.
01:00:01I could write you a note.
01:00:06Okay, maybe I'm no Casanova.
01:00:09And maybe I'm in way over my head.
01:00:12But this was always Jack's job.
01:00:14I was the pencil pusher.
01:00:15The statistical expert.
01:00:18Unfortunately, being able to tell you that 7 in 10 murders are crimes of passion,
01:00:21or 3 in 4 hitmen are hired by one spouse to kill the other,
01:00:25isn't terribly relevant information.
01:00:28Unless, of course, you're the one they are hired to kill.
01:00:32Jack was right.
01:00:33Jack was right.
01:00:34I should never have gone straight.
01:00:43Uh, I need a piece.
01:00:46A piece of what?
01:00:48You know, a gun.
01:00:50Oh, why do you say that, Snoop Dogg?
01:00:53Let me show you what we got.
01:00:54Do you ever get the feeling you're running out of leads?
01:01:00This is Walsh.
01:01:01I mean, I'm a happily married mother of two,
01:01:02and this guy's staring at my fucking left breast all the way I'm up.
01:01:04I think we might have something.
01:01:06What?
01:01:07This guy I've had watching Hannibal picked up something going down this afternoon at the Elroy Hotel.
01:01:11Yeah? How good is your guy?
01:01:13Good enough to supply a room number. It's worth a look, right?
01:01:14Great, let's go.
01:01:15Great, let's go.
01:01:27Ray?
01:01:28Yeah, your boy's here.
01:01:29Any sign of Wandal?
01:01:30Not yet.
01:01:32You sure this is gonna work out, huh?
01:01:34With your low rent circus. Look at that.
01:01:35Would it get that clown from Central Casting?
01:01:40I'm off the church.
01:01:42Shit.
01:01:43Ma'am? Ma'am? Want to hang on a minute?
01:01:45Did you clear that with the boss?
01:01:47Well, I go every Thursday.
01:01:50But you can check it with the choir master if you want.
01:01:54You know, we got that thing.
01:01:55We got the thing we gotta do.
01:01:58Don't be late.
01:02:13It's a new partner.
01:02:14To the late, great Ray Elliott.
01:02:19And that's why, if we all stay cool, everything's gonna be just...
01:02:22Why don't you tell me you stay cool, huh, man? I am cool, right?
01:02:25Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:02:27A little piece of shit just arrived.
01:02:28Uh-oh, hey, calm down, man.
01:02:29Goddammit, man, he's bailing. I told you he was gonna bail.
01:02:30Hey, tell me what's happening.
01:02:31He just left. Look, we did it your way and I'm gonna try it my way. How about that?
01:02:33We have to stick to the planet. Otherwise, people are gonna get seriously hurt, and Wendell will walk. Just get him inside.
01:02:39Yeah, whatever.
01:02:43Hey, Holmes!
01:02:56It's a mech. Musky mech.
01:03:00Stay home!
01:03:01Is there support for what my car does already do? Thanks.
01:03:11All right, he's inside.
01:03:13So, uh, I brought what you told me to bring.
01:03:17I like a man that knows how to take direction.
01:03:22Why don't we go up to your room and talk?
01:03:26Oh, it's just the greatest.
01:03:34Okay, I can help you out with that on.
01:03:51Um, my grandfather is staying here.
01:03:56And, uh, what is your grandfather's name?
01:03:59Uh, Klump? Klump.
01:04:03Yes, sir, he just checked in.
01:04:08I'll just... thank you.
01:04:12Sir, it's room 1015.
01:04:161015.
01:04:191015?
01:04:27Kit?
01:04:28Mr. Klump, what are you doing here?
01:04:31I-I won a contest.
01:04:45Welcome to the Elroy Hotel. May I help you?
01:04:47Yeah, she has an envelope for me.
01:04:49Oh.
01:04:50Her name is McGillicuddy.
01:04:55There you are.
01:05:00Mr. Klump,
01:05:02this is very important.
01:05:04Exactly what kind of contest did you win?
01:05:09A magazine kind?
01:05:19Drink?
01:05:20Is that all you're offering?
01:05:22Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:05:24Let's get the business out of the way first.
01:05:27You sure you still want to get rid of Ray?
01:05:29I am not a man prone to second thoughts.
01:05:33And you haven't found anyone else?
01:05:34No.
01:05:36Good.
01:05:38So how do I know you're for real, huh?
01:05:42You'll never know for sure.
01:05:46But I promise you won't be disappointed.
01:06:07Adele?
01:06:12Adele?
01:06:14You son of a bitch!
01:06:18Stay here and keep an eye out.
01:06:20Sir.
01:06:33Whoever you are, somebody really wants you dead.
01:06:38Now I don't know about you, Bobby, but I'm feeling pretty dirty.
01:06:42What did I watch, huh?
01:06:56Ray.
01:06:57Hey.
01:06:58I was worried about you.
01:06:59Where have you been?
01:07:01Just, uh, covering our accounts as instructed.
01:07:04So, I think I have something to tell you.
01:07:06I'm, uh, actually a huge opera fan.
01:07:09Okay.
01:07:11That's what you needed to tell me?
01:07:12But I've always preferred Carmen to Salome, in a way.
01:07:17Because, uh, in Salome, the hero loses head, and in Carmen, the evil temptress is made to pay with her life?
01:07:24Uh, no.
01:07:26Actually, it's the overture.
01:07:28Hey, Lola.
01:07:30Are you okay?
01:07:32Yeah.
01:07:33I'm ready.
01:07:34Yeah.
01:07:35I'm ready.
01:07:41Ah!
01:07:46Excuse me, sir.
01:07:47Can you get up to room 305?
01:07:48Yeah.
01:07:49Yeah.
01:07:50Ice for champagne?
01:07:51Oh, forget the ice, huh?
01:07:52Why don't you get in the trouble with me, huh?
01:07:53Huh?
01:07:54I know these things that we can do with the water jets.
01:07:55I'll tell you what.
01:07:56Shh.
01:07:57Trust me when I'm done with you.
01:07:58You're gonna need ice.
01:07:59Can I help you?
01:08:00Yeah.
01:08:01I'm looking for Ray.
01:08:02I mean, Bob.
01:08:03He's a guest here.
01:08:04Are you with Dale?
01:08:05Yes.
01:08:06Room 1215.
01:08:09You're welcome.
01:08:10I'm gonna need ice.
01:08:11Can I help you?
01:08:12Yeah.
01:08:13I'm looking for Ray.
01:08:14I mean, Bob.
01:08:15He's a guest here.
01:08:16Are you with Dale?
01:08:17Yes.
01:08:18Room 1215.
01:08:20Room 1215.
01:08:43I've learned to not rely on a single person in this world.
01:08:48And I'm not.
01:08:49I'm relying on a dozen.
01:08:51Mostly cheats, killers, and cons.
01:08:56And I happen to trust these people.
01:08:59Or at least trust in their baser instincts.
01:09:02Let's hope they don't disappoint me.
01:09:16Nice shoes.
01:09:18Oh, thank you.
01:09:23Oh, fuck.
01:09:26I got a paper cut.
01:09:29Boss, you better sit down.
01:09:30But the most important thing I learned from Jack was that in the face of real danger, make certain that you are never, ever around.
01:09:40I don't like this.
01:09:57Mr. Klump, I think we need to get you out of here.
01:10:00Hell no!
01:10:01This is Detective Walsh. Officer needs assistance. We're at the Elroy Hotel, Room 1015.
01:10:05I swear, it was her.
01:10:06I'm going to kill him. I'm going to pray for God to redirect him. I'm going to kill him again.
01:10:15Ray? Where are you?
01:10:20Ray?
01:10:21You have a Robert in the hotel.
01:10:25I'm sorry?
01:10:26A Robert. A Bob.
01:10:27What is the last name, sir?
01:10:29I don't know. Just tell me if there are any Roberts or God damn Bobs in the hotel.
01:10:34Or I will come down there and personally shove that phone.
01:10:38I have a first initial R.
01:10:40Yeah.
01:10:41R, Elliot? Room 1215.
01:10:47Sir?
01:10:48Hello?
01:10:50Hello?
01:10:54So, I never thought it would come down to this.
01:10:58You try to cover all the bases, do your homework, but at the end of the day...
01:11:03...it's the people you trust.
01:11:07I'm not a huge proponent of that word. I prefer leverage to human nature any day.
01:11:18Sometimes you just have to roll the dice.
01:11:26Come on in. The water's fine.
01:11:30I ask you a question.
01:11:32Shoot.
01:11:33It's, uh, a big of a speech.
01:11:37You're almost done.
01:11:48Room service.
01:11:58It's open.
01:12:03You're open.
01:12:05Oh, my God.
01:12:07Oh, my God.
01:12:09You friend of always?
01:12:11Okay.
01:12:20Oh, shit.
01:12:20What are you doing?
01:12:21Ah!
01:12:22Ah!
01:12:22Ah!
01:12:23Ah!
01:12:23Ah!
01:12:24Ah!
01:12:24Ah!
01:12:25Ah!
01:12:25Ah!
01:12:26Ah!
01:12:26Ah!
01:12:27Ah!
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:29Ah!
01:12:30Ah!
01:12:30Ah!
01:12:31Ah!
01:12:32Listen, please, I swear to God, I've never seen this woman before in my life.
01:12:45My name is Robert Hatch.
01:12:47Bob Hatch?
01:12:48If you prefer.
01:12:49Sheedy Flowers, wife down there.
01:12:53What's going on here?
01:12:58To be honest with you, I'm not quite sure.
01:13:00Hey, that's him.
01:13:03That's the guy you're always asking about.
01:13:05I've never seen this old guy before in my life.
01:13:07He's lying.
01:13:08What are you doing in his room with a gun?
01:13:11Hey, Bob.
01:13:12What?
01:13:13It's 6-13.
01:13:16God bless you.
01:13:18Give me the alcohol.
01:13:27Don't kill him till I get back.
01:13:30I suppose we're out of...
01:13:46Don't kill him till I get back.
01:13:56I have to act like this.
01:14:03Don't kill him till I get back.
01:14:03Step back into your suite.
01:14:33I don't know you, but you don't look that stupid.
01:14:59Okay, we're in the back of the hotel right now.
01:15:14Okay, we're in the back of the hotel.
01:15:21Okay, we're in the back of the hotel.
01:15:28Okay, we're in the back of the hotel.
01:15:35The victim has seen several gunshot wounds to the chest.
01:15:39We have positive idea on shooting victims.
01:15:42Victim identified as Jack McKesson.
01:15:44DOB, unknown, Roxman H.
01:15:48Lola.
01:15:49Lola!
01:15:50Come on, let's go.
01:15:51Lola!
01:15:55Do we have no idea?
01:15:56Do we have no idea?
01:15:57Enemy.
01:15:58You have no idea.
01:16:05Do we have no idea?
01:16:08Have no idea.
01:16:10Have no idea.
01:16:12Victim hasn't been identified as Jack McAddis.
01:16:42I don't know how to do this, but I don't know how to do this.
01:17:12When marimba rhythms start to play, dance with me, make me swing, like a lazy ocean hugged me shore, hold me close, sway me more.
01:17:42What the hell was wrong with the other 15 bodies that I showed you?
01:18:02I just wanted to make sure it was a good match.
01:18:06Bull, you just couldn't stand the idea of you not leaving a good-looking corpse.
01:18:09Vanity is going to be the death of you, Ray.
01:18:14Let's hope.
01:18:20That should cover the cops and any incidentals.
01:18:24It is so.
01:18:30Hey, Cam, put him somewhere nice.
01:18:33It's not every day you get to bury yourself.
01:18:44What are you going to do with the money?
01:18:46Assuming the sultan actually pays what he says.
01:18:49I don't know.
01:18:50Five million is a lot of cash.
01:18:51But I'm a river to my people.
01:18:55Unless it be warmed-over Lawrence of Arabia, Sadir.
01:18:58You're from Boston.
01:19:00Where I have people.
01:19:02Goodbye, Jack McKenna.
01:19:04May I rest in peace.
01:19:09Here's a news, Finn.
01:19:10If one in four men cheat on their wives, then three in four are faithful.
01:19:16And an even more admirable nine in ten women.
01:19:19Not bad odds to play.
01:19:22So, no more Jack.
01:19:24No more alibis.
01:19:25No more worries.
01:19:26Just the thought of waking up every morning and hearing...
01:19:29You're such an asshole.
01:19:31Well, you know, sometimes it helps if you don't know the whole story.
01:19:37In business, not in relationships.
01:19:41I want you to be part of my new life.
01:19:45Or my old one.
01:19:48So, where should we go?
01:19:51It's up to you.
01:19:54But you said you'd already visited the Holy Land, so...
01:19:57I also mentioned that I'd show you not everyone is working in England.
01:20:01Noted.
01:20:02I think we should try this full disclosure thing and see how it goes.
01:20:07Yeah, you know, I'm not so sure about Asia.
01:20:09How's London?
01:20:10Not a good idea, I don't know.
01:20:12Caribbean?
01:20:12Some minor unfinished litigation.
01:20:15Paris?
01:20:15Yes.
01:20:17I've seen that.
01:20:17Okay.
01:20:19Amsterdam?
01:20:20We've got it.
01:20:21Oh, yeah.
01:20:21Oh, yeah.
01:20:31I just realised you're quite a bit taller than me, aren't you?
01:20:37I don't know.
01:20:38Oh, yeah.
01:20:39I don't know.
01:20:39.
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