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00:00In a few moments, I will grant a full, absolute and unconditional presidential pardon to two
00:06handsome Thanksgiving turkeys.
00:09And this is their lucky day.
00:11This is a lucky day for them.
00:13But before going any further, I want to make an important announcement, because you remember
00:18last year, after a thorough and very rigorous investigation by Pam Bondi and all of the people
00:27at the Department of Justice, the FBI, the CIA, the White House Counsel's Office, and the
00:33Department of Everything — we have a Department of Everything.
00:37You know what that is?
00:38I think that's called the White House — into a terrible situation caused by a man named
00:45Sleepy Joe Biden.
00:47He used an auto pen last year for the turkey's pardon.
00:51So I have the official duty to determine, and I have determined, that last year's turkey
00:56pardons are totally invalid.
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