What if Your Parents Hate You? Twitter/X Space

Stefan Molyneux

In this Friday Night Live on 21 November 2025, philosopher Stefan Molyneux reflects on December 25, 2025, and examines the morality of historical figures like Einstein and Lenin.  Engaging with listeners on personal struggles regarding relationship values, he critiques the romanticization of communism versus czarism. The discussion touches on anti-natalist philosophies and connections to C.S. Lewis's "The Abolition of Man," concluding with insights on overcoming familial expectations for personal growth.  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025

Transcript

00:00good evening everybody 21st november 2025 do you know the only time in the history of the

00:10entire universe this christmas is going to be 25 20 uh 25 12 2025 25 12 25 isn't that kind of cool

00:21i think that's kind of cool i mean it's not like 12 is half of 25 12 and a half would be half of

00:2725 but midway through the day it will be all set that way

00:33so a couple of guess housekeeping ish things and again if you have questions comments criticisms

00:44whatever it is that you want to talk about on x i've done seven hours of shows today so uh it may

00:53not be a super long show unless y'all could just keep my attention somehow focus focus uh flash me

01:01some chest hair ladies all right um so i wrote i wrote on x um

01:09somebody said uh carl sagan and these freaking physicists man

01:16albert einstein quote it would be possible to describe everything scientifically but it would

01:22make no sense it would be without meaning as if you described beethoven symphony as a variation of

01:27wave pressure and i wrote albert einstein praised and licked the boots of vladimir lenin who mass

01:32murdered tens of millions of christians in russia a genuinely evil man and somebody wrote more lies

01:38from the twitter crowd and he he quoted wikipedia which is like me basing my physics on a dream i had

01:47last night about sydney sweeney topic for another time and um

01:52on wikipedia they wrote about ironstein he was critical of the methods employed by vladimir lenin

01:59and the bolsheviks during the russian revolution stating that they did not have a well-regulated

02:03system of government and had instead established a quote regime of terror over the fallen russian empire

02:11now i said he praised and licked the boots of vladimir lenin

02:16so

02:18that is uh wretched and false so my patience is not maximum these days for just people who think

02:26they know what they're talking about so i said shut up and learn something albert einstein on vladimir

02:32lenin and i quote from einstein in lenin i honor a man who in total sacrifice of his own person has

02:38committed his entire energy to realizing social justice i do not find his methods advisable one

02:44thing is certain however men like him are the guardians and renewers of mankind's conscience

02:50see vladimir lenin was hitler for christians except uh hitler killed six million jews communism killed

02:5960 70 million christians and i get proportion of the population as a whole i get that right but

03:05uh lenin was hitler for christians

03:08people don't uh don't think don't think in terms of principles they don't think in terms of principles

03:18ah all right so let me see while i wait for the chitty chatties to decide to talk

03:27uh this is interesting this is interesting so this went uh i guess semi-viral am i the asshole

03:39am i overreacting so it's another question i have of course uh am i overreacting for breaking up with

03:48my girlfriend over saying i've had my fun i've had my fun i've had my fun it's time for me to settle

03:53down that's what she said that broke me instantly this came after a group discussion with her friends

03:59that had to do with hookups i asked her to clarify what she meant by that later and she said that she's

04:04glad she's had her fun sex with hookups and that she's glad she can settle down with someone more

04:11secure and available i told her that i basically find that extraordinarily offensive and right then

04:19and they're basically ensured that there would be that there would for the rest of our relationship

04:23forever be an imbalance i rejected all hookups as i wanted sex to be only for those i loved

04:28whereas she had a bunch of hookups loved all of it and then settled for me which she basically who

04:34she basically implied was a downgrade she thinks it's absolutely insane that i leave her over this but

04:41i personally can't fathom staying i mean to put it quite bluntly i felt like the biggest bitch

04:46after she said that in front of her friends i think the relationship and the one you want to spend

04:52the rest of your life with should be the fun part why would i want to stay can i can i get this

05:02sorry i have a of course i have an iphone that is taking up the screen here all right let me save

05:10this as why would she want to stay

05:14i'm sorry why would i want to stay in what has basically become an entirely one-sided relationship

05:21where she's reminiscing on the fun she had while i'm actively trying to make those great memories

05:28with her that's a fine question that's a fine question

05:34i'm sorry but f that why should i be happy knowing that other guys got the super fun wild

05:46times with her after knowing her for a couple of hours whereas i the guy who's giving her my

05:51absolute hundred percent gets the mediocre tired version how am i supposed to feel like i'm not

05:56putting in ten times the effort as these other guys yet receiving one tenth in return like i'm sorry

06:02but i simply find that way of thinking simply incompatible with a long-term relationship

06:06especially as someone who has never and will never give myself sexually to someone casually

06:12i just feel like there would always be a major imbalance i mean what's done is done already

06:18but i'd love to know if this is an overreaction or not edit it's not just about the sex it's about

06:25how she views it she's had her fun now she wants to settle down with me i don't agree with that

06:31i think the relationship is the fun part i think getting in a relationship is when the fun should

06:35start ramping up and get more exciting she obviously thinks the exact opposite

06:41so i'm curious what do you think of this oh yes shop.freedomain.com thank you james

06:52shop.freedomain.com get your riz and your merch and your swag for christmas at shop.freedomain.com

07:07uh somebody says oh james i'm glad i'm glad i was settled with you after writing the carousel for a

07:15decade right and what do you think

07:19somebody says she's clearly not comfortable with the idea of being honest and open with the guy

07:26she's essentially telling him he's not fun while avoiding being honest well it's his fault for going

07:30for the party girl he's going for the hot party girl and then he's uh shocked that she's used up

07:36so all right let us go and speak let us speak frankly now for the hour is getting late

07:44frank if you want to unmute i'm happy to hear what's on your mind

07:48um it's only tangentially related to the topic you're talking about tangentially related is my

07:55middle name so go for it well i was thinking about uh conversations i've had where people have

08:03justified uh the communist revolution with sort of vague assertions that uh feudalism under the czar was

08:10so uh completely terrible and then i read something uh in it's a note from uh notes from the underground

08:21by dostoevsky there's a french phrase meaning right as a lord referring to the right of the feudal lord

08:27when one of his serfs married to spend the first night with the bride you know that's a myth

08:33though right that's a myth yeah that's not a real thing okay i mean you know what i was interested

08:38in i guess or wondering about because you actually have read the history i don't know anything and

08:43usually the people i'm talking to about this also don't know anything but is there a steel man case

08:49against the czarist uh system before communism well compared to what compared to communism absolutely

08:58i mean if you read dostoevsky and the big one notes from the underground is creepy and good but the big

09:05one to read i've never read really a better novel except maybe at the strike does crime and punishment

09:10so in crime and punishment they um porfiry i think his name is the um prosecuting policeman

09:20uh the detective he's convinced that raskolnikov killed but he can't prove it and so he has to leave

09:29him be he has to leave him until he confesses right and so if you look at the restraint of that legal

09:36system that is pretty wild compared to the absolute hellscape of the gulig archipelago that is described

09:46by solzhenitsyn in his terrifying series of books uh on just how absolutely brutal and sadistic it all

09:52was uh to to have the um communists in charge of the legal system and we can see of course this

09:59happening as the communists begin to take over the legal systems of the west there is a massive

10:03amount of sympathy for criminals and anybody i think somebody in the states who um defended himself

10:09against being marked an elderly fellow with a gun that was unlicensed is now going to jail for four

10:15years because he used an unlicensed weapon to protect himself so it's sort of like before and after i

10:25talked about this in my documentary on hong kong before and after the chinese took over sorry the

10:34communists took over in china there were very complex multi-generational contracts and leases and land

10:42ownership and reciprocal agreements and all of this kind of stuff and so if you're going to compare

10:47the legal system before and after it's night and day it went from i mean obviously somewhat corrupt

10:54i mean dost deftly himself was arrested for socialism and was locked in a jail cell and the big theory was

11:04that you if you sat in silence and darkness you would confront your own conscience to become a better

11:09person so even the guards would wear felt on the bottom of their shoes as they walked up and down

11:14so you couldn't hear anything he was in there for quite some time and then he was dragged out about

11:18to be executed and then his sentence was commuted to i think 10 years in siberia where he wrote notes

11:25from the house of the dead or memoirs from the house of the dead and you know that's not just that's

11:32not right that's not fair of course right but compared to what came afterwards it was uh night

11:39and day uh the number of people under the czar executed over a 50-year period was about one to

11:47two days of those executed for political reasons under the communists so it went from a dysfunctional

11:55but vaguely just system to an absolute tyranny of mass torture and murder under the communists so

12:02i don't i mean it's not a steel man case relative to a free society to talk about the czarist system

12:08but it's a hell of a lot better than what came after

12:12yeah i think that that's um that's that's generally what i've suspected and i think um

12:25a lot of people engage in just basic uh i don't like the the word but just basic uh denialism they

12:34uh are willfully ignorant of the mass atrocities that happened under communism

12:42don't underestimate the number of people who want to die

12:47it's been too hard living but i'm afraid to die right i mean don't i remember being quite shocked by

12:56this when i was younger when i first sort of really thought about it like people who want

13:01communism they want to die people like there's this um sort of famous thread or this this photo of

13:12two young female socialists in iran who were cheering the mullahs taking over in the iranian

13:20revolution in 1979 one of them was slaughtered and one of them was

13:24sent off uh had to had to flee and i think she lives in sweden or something like that where

13:31i guess she's getting deja vu the communists refer to the leftists like the the democratic

13:38socialists they refer to them as useful idiots and what happens is when the communists take over

13:45they generally kill those people because if they betray if those people betrayed the prior system

13:52they will betray the current system and so they just they go on a massive flamethrower clean out of

13:59all the people who betrayed the prior system and so there are a lot of people who are half in love

14:10with easeful death or what freud would call a thanatos the death instinct they don't want to live

14:16these are the people who they they gamble and get in debt to the organized crime because they don't want

14:22to live they they take crazy risks with like motorcycles and wingsuits and because they don't

14:28want to live they gain weight like crazy because they don't want to live or hang on so there's there's

14:36just a whole whole bunch of things that people do they um they they take edge case scenarios of

14:43overdosing with drugs because they don't want to live and there are a lot of people who don't like

14:50living but don't want to admit to themselves that they want to die and therefore what they do is they

14:56put themselves in situations of significant danger women do this as well women who were suicidal tend to

15:03be very promiscuous and sooner or later like the looking for mr good bar scenario sooner or later

15:09some guy's just going to beat them up or they put themselves in in dangerously they go to like

15:15wild parties in the worst sections of town and they're just whether it's self-punishment or self-loathing

15:21or an inner altar from the parents that's telling them that they're not worth living there are there's a

15:27significant portion of part of the population that i mean it could be smoking it could be excessive

15:33drinking it could be drunk driving they don't want to live and it's so so to me uh the people who

15:41are ignoring what has been going on in the realm of communism and are cheering it along uh for whatever

15:49i mean they're just like okay so i don't view you as having any political ideology i just view you as

15:56somebody who doesn't who doesn't want to live sorry go ahead oh that that just stands to reason on

16:02another level um all the people in my own life who i've known to endorse communism either uh do not

16:09have children or have no intention of having children so it's not just that they don't want

16:15to live they they want to on a on a larger level to um cease to exist i guess i'm repeating myself but

16:22uh and this also happens with regards to sexual activity as well so people let's say women who nobody

16:30wants to mate with um will side with an invading army because if their genes aren't gonna reproduce

16:39in the current and this is why it's so important for people to get paired off and have children

16:43because really weird things happen to people's minds when they don't reproduce because it's so

16:50much against this constant chain of being for four billion years people get very weird and and you sort of

16:57see this this heat map of like out group preference versus in group preference so if if you are

17:04rejected by the men or the women in your current social situation then you will side with the

17:14outsiders like if there's an invading army that promises let's say you're in some roman province and

17:20you're a slave and you're not allowed to reproduce and some invading army is coming along and it's gonna

17:25free you from slavery you're gonna fight against your slave owner with the invading army because

17:31it's your only chance to reproduce and so when i look at things like uh you know like the really

17:37dangerous mass immigration uh i'm not saying it's conscious but i think it comes a lot from and in

17:44particular from women that nobody wants to have children with and so they're like their genes are like

17:50okay but if we're rejected we got to survive we got to survive so if we're rejected by the society

17:56that we're in we need to bring people in who will um allow us to reproduce and i think there's a lot

18:07of that kind of stuff going on which is you know kind of tragic but kind of inevitable when you when

18:11you don't have pair bonding that's occurring for the majority of people um society is not long for this

18:17world yeah um have you have you read um the abolition of man by c.s lewis i have not okay um what a lot of

18:33i see a lot of um what's happening and one i'm gonna oversimplify one of the core ideas but he

18:40talks about um people being controlled uh or not controlled but uh operating through their intellect

18:49their heart and their loins and the conceit or the central premise of the book is that in taking

18:57out all these traditional ideas like chivalry and so on from our cultural traditions and making them

19:02relativistic it's almost like we're taking out uh the heart or uh the central agency of the soul

19:09and what's left is just the intellect and the loins that sort of uh cartwheel over each other or

19:16something like that and so what you're describing with um women uh unconsciously bringing on this uh

19:23almost like rape of nan king scenario it's it's like there's the the the the gene is trying to express

19:32itself trying to get something done and meanwhile the intellect is just this pinwheel up up on the head

19:37that's justifying it in various ways or going completely around it and inventing things to

19:43avoid that reality yeah if you want to overturn a society you just work as hard as you possibly can

19:50to destroy pair bonding through hypersexuality through pornography through the welfare state

19:56by turning men against women and turning women against men you simply destroy the pair bond

20:03and then people don't have kids and then when people don't have kids they will side with whatever

20:09system is going to replace the existing system because it's their only chance to have kids

20:13so you breed traitors through sterility if that makes sense yeah and well what do you think happens

20:21with people who can no longer have kids do you think that some form of um because i think about this

20:29with uh anti-natalists where um i i mean this is a pretty unvarnished thought but i think that they

20:36should kill themselves uh if they're true to their own belief system but uh they seem to insist on

20:43sticking around and propagating their ideas and making as many people like them as possible it's almost

20:49like uh spreading a disease well i i think that the anti-natalists would say that they do want to

20:58um they do want to spread the word about anti-natalism which is why they sort of stick around and

21:05and do that if that makes sense oh no i get that but i think that sticking around to do that i think

21:11it's a um i think it's like an inverted rather than a generative or productive instinct it's almost like a

21:18uh a destructive one like you you won't kill yourself or you you it's like this

21:28urge to just i mean just put it simply just to damage other people um just because if you can't

21:36reproduce if that if that's like cut off to you say uh your fertility window is completely eclipsed

21:42um i mean you have to be extremely charitable i think to be motivated uh towards generative activity

21:53um sorry can you explain that a bit more um i guess i'm just wondering about the uh the destructive

22:04instinct in people i think that if you are closed off from uh generative or productive activity um and

22:14maybe this is like a false dichotomy that i'm creating in mind but i think that there's um

22:20destructive or maybe thanatos or or whatever instinct that would come in instead um

22:28hmm i i guess um i so i've read some of the lloyd de maus stuff um uh the original war and child abuse

22:39and it's like uh there's the urge to replicate the harm that's been done unto you onto others as a release

22:49valve and so if you have um made rendered yourself infertile uh there might be an instinct like a a

22:57uh comfort in the herd like instinct or maybe a uh even a revenge instinct upon the rest of society

23:05to make other people like you to make everyone else infertile like you i think that i think there's

23:10that that is an aspect to it and i i don't want to say like i have some final answer but these are sort

23:15the way that i would maybe supplement that thought a little bit so uh antenatalists are fundamentally

23:21angry at their own parents which is why they don't want to become parents because they hate their

23:27parents and their parents wished they weren't there their parents you know there's a lot of parents out

23:33there who want their children dead again but maybe we're just going to do the dark passage but

23:41i mean my mom hated her children and i don't remember her ever she said you know i hate these

23:48effing kids she'd say that but i don't think she ever you know i wish you were dead i don't i don't

23:53think but i've certainly talked to people over the course of doing the show for 20 years that their

23:59parents are like yeah we should never been born my life would be so much better without you like

24:03there's a lot of parents who really hate their children and want them dead or oh yeah james says

24:11my parents seem not to want me around at all yeah like my mother had this fantasy that she was going

24:16to be like grace kelly and she'd be on the red carpet and and if it wasn't for these kids and she

24:21could get a great guy and like we were in the way we were standing between her and the great life that

24:27she uh that she wanted and there are a lot of people who again i'm not saying it's obviously not

24:37a majority but there's a lot of people out there numerically who want their kids to not be there

24:42who just wake up every day and are annoyed that their children are around and just feel like they

24:48could just be doing so many more better things and uh if it wasn't for you goddamn kids i would be

24:53you know so much happier i'd be so much better and this is particularly true for single moms

24:59because single moms i mean deep down uh they know

25:05for a fact that oh then yeah they know for a fact that one of the reasons they can't get a quality guy

25:15is because they have a child i mean you know that this girl she meets this guy and then she eventually

25:21has to say that she has a kid and she sees the light go go out right

25:25just the light goes out when and she's like i can't you know and my mother would keep guys away

25:35for as long as possible and you know grip me by the arms and tell me to be cooperative when the guys

25:40would come over and not to be any trouble and not to say this and not to say that and

25:43so we were in the way

25:49and it's it's it's kind of a so what does that do to people if your parents don't want you around

25:59or view you as an inconvenience your parents don't take pleasure in your life in your existence in

26:06your thoughts in your jokes you're just expensive and smelly you know teen boys right

26:13and inconvenient and she can't travel and she's got to work and right all of this kind of stuff right

26:22and i mean it happens sometimes as well with fathers but it happens less with fathers than

26:31with mothers because fathers can just i mean that's what deadbeat dads do right deadbeat dads are

26:36my kids are dead to me like the ones who just despawn they just vanish right my kids are dead to me

26:41and of course people get mad at their be dads but hey man just like the woman who's having an abortion

26:48he's just doing what's best for him right so when i meet someone who's you know really kind of messed

26:57up who just has like the strong determinists don't believe in free will at all uh they're communists

27:03or fascists or you know heavy socialists or anti-natalists and this kind of stuff i'm just like

27:09i can see that this

27:12this hatred or indifference or hostility of the parents towards the children is just kind of

27:21showing up in in their life as a whole and it's rough man it's rough if if you've ever sort of stared

27:31down it literally feels like a gun barrel like these two eyes two black eyes like a doll's eyes right

27:36these two black eyes like a shotgun if you've just if you've stared down parental hatred in your life

27:43it it fundamentally reshapes who you are it changes who you are at the bone marrow level

27:51because you are living with a predator who doesn't want you around

27:57and all of your life is changed by that you start to spend a lot of time away from home you start to get

28:04i mean i had three jobs partly because i needed the money and partly because i just didn't want to be home

28:08you know i go and a friend of mine had uh the family they shared a cottage with another family

28:15it was real rundown kind of place but i'd go up there man i work i i moved there um i helped move there

28:20outhouse uh i would chop wood uh you know help build things i'm just hey man i'm i'm available

28:27right when i went with another friend of mine to another cottage i spent the whole day digging a

28:33well among like facefuls of bugs in like 34 degree celsius weather just crazy hot muggy and bugs and it

28:41was like it's better than being home um my brother and i built a tree house and we would uh sometimes

28:47together sometimes alone we just sort of climb up and hang out of the tree that's way better than

28:51being home so it's like having a toxic mold at home you you just can't spend

28:58you can't spend too long there and and nobody cares like you're an oddball kid usually in those

29:08situations and uh nobody cares and so this sort of parental hatred of children again i'm not saying

29:16it's common obviously right but hostility frustration negativity i mean let me ask you guys we got lots of

29:22people watching here let me let me ask you guys right so it's more than just sort of my anecdotal

29:26stuff okay so if you look at sort of your time as a child and the time you spent with your parents

29:33what percentage of the time your parents spent with you were they very happy to spend with you

29:44for my mother i would say probably about five about five percent of the time she was happy and and you

29:52know especially if when i was started to write one of the reasons why i did start to write is that my

29:56mother really enjoyed my writing and it reminded her of her own father and her own brothers who were all

30:01famous writers and so tell me this what what percentage now i'm not saying she wasn't like

30:11telling me how much she hated me for 95 i'm not saying that but in terms of like

30:16being happy that you're around percentage of time parents enjoyed spending time with you

30:22and i would say and i've tried to reverse that i've tried to be like 90 95 percent of the time with my

30:30daughter is is great it's just great and so

30:37yeah i'm just uh five percent seems high for you yeah well if you don't have anything that your

30:46parents particularly right but and again i know that there's a lot of people here who had so this is

30:52not anything scientific but i'm just curious what percentage of the time when your parents were around

30:58you were they thrilled and happy to be there you know laughing and hugging and like positive and

31:05okay my mom didn't really laugh and hug too too much but there were certainly times when she enjoyed

31:12spending time with me but it was probably about five percent uh jared point five percent

31:19because in general your parents should enjoy spending time with you i mean isn't that sort of why you'd

31:29become parents because you want to spend time with your kids i mean it wouldn't make much sense

31:36to get married to someone you didn't want to spend time with right

31:39someone says

31:42oh that's you didn't you have something about feed pics last time all right

31:50yeah five percent seems high single digits zero percent from my mom hundred percent for my dad

32:00sounds similar for my wife point five percent

32:02it was a fairly high percentage that's great to hear they supported a lot of my activities included

32:08themselves let's say 75 percent that's wonderful like that's great i'm thrilled i'm thrilled for

32:14that i'm thrilled for that but i would say that most times my mother was not particularly happy when i

32:23came home i remember um what was it i remember oh yeah there was a bad there was a a bar called the

32:34edge i still remember the i still remember the title rock takes a blow as the edge closes doors there

32:40was a bar called the edge i was in a writing class for grade 13 students when i was in grade 8

32:47grade 8 i was uh uh 12 or 13 and i was in classes for 18 year olds and i guess some of them so so we

32:57went to a bar on the last night and uh it was my first time in a bar really i mean i went as a kid

33:04but that was just like british garden bar stuff and i remember when i came home my mom was really angry

33:10and and i opened the door she smacked me across the face because she was upset that i because there

33:16were no cell phones back then and all of that but yeah i don't i don't remember her enjoying my

33:23company much and i do remember i really do very clearly remember that she seemed kind of annoyed

33:31uh and negative when i was home and that's tough you know if you have a very uh selfish person

33:44and i mean in my mother's case just a very very broken person just a very broken person and again

33:50sort of knowing what i know now about her war experiences which i certainly didn't know

33:53until relatively recently um as a very very broken person it's really tough it's really tough

34:00to enjoy family life when you don't enjoy the people in it and uh it's a real it's a real shame

34:08so yeah there are a lot of people out there whose parents didn't take pleasure in their company

34:13and the way that you experience that as a child i mean it's different for everyone i think but the

34:19way i think most people experience that as a child

34:21is they say chuckles i'm in danger they say i better not be much of a problem

34:32so when you're young like through the latency period after the terrible twos but before the teen storms

34:37there's latency period which is kind of calm and you say i better i'd be gone a lot i better not

34:43i better not be too much trouble

34:45because when parents withhold pleasure in your company or they don't experience or express pleasure

34:52in your company you're hanging by a thread literally mean that you spend your entire childhood

34:57hanging by a thread what if they turn to me what if they move uh what if uh they go hunting and don't

35:02come back or what if uh they go follow the buffalo ass over the plane and and forget me behind or what

35:07if they don't protect me like so you it's like i better not be i better not be any trouble

35:11and you know this is why people say oh he's so shy it's like no he's not

35:17people aren't shy as a whole people aren't shy

35:22they're just scared

35:25chris says about 10 on average sometimes a bit more or less depending on the stage of life yeah

35:32yeah for sure

35:34so again i can't speak for girls but

35:38for boys

35:40you

35:42you fold yourself out of existence to take up as little space as humanly possible

35:48and to not be noticed because to be noticed is to draw attention you're basically hunted by your

35:54parents narcissism throughout all the halls and holes of your hovel and so you kind of fold yourself

36:01into nothing and you creep by and you don't make much noise and you have silent you put the headphones

36:05on you you do silent uh things you're out a lot but you can't be out too much because then you just

36:11treat this place like a hotel blah blah blah right and then when you hit your teenage years and you

36:17begin to reorient yourself more towards your peers then you can start to let rip your frustration

36:22and your anger because you're just not as dependent right the moment you you become less

36:26dependent on your parents your true feelings or your true emotions will come out usually and this

36:32is what a lot of the teen storms are all about

36:34somebody says i recognize that there was light at the end of the tunnel when i get older and can move

36:45out after high school so i kept my head down played by their rules where i could until then yeah for

36:52sure yeah for sure

36:55and you have to you have to make a tough decision man when your parents don't like you

37:04you have to make a very tough decision which is either they're right and you are worthless

37:10worthless or you're not worthless and they're selfish assholes like i mean i'm more sophisticated

37:16when you get older but that's kind of the essence of it when you're that little like oh when someone

37:23hates you only one of you can be right i mean i guess you could both be hateful but kids can't be

37:28hateful right they can only be injured so if your parents don't like you or don't take pleasure in your

37:34existence they don't light up when you come in the room and all of that right

37:40and

37:42either they're right and you're not interesting

37:49not vital not energetic not charismatic not enjoyable to spend time with

37:54or you are those things or have the potential to be those things

37:58and they're just kind of selfish and withholding jerks right

38:01and

38:05how you resolve that decision is literally how the rest of your life goes

38:10that fork in the road right

38:12if your parents don't treat you well either you're deserving of being treated poorly

38:17or they're assholes for treating you poorly

38:19right

38:22and and and how you fall

38:26on that fork in the road which way you take

38:31do you take okay we can be nicer and saying they're not jerks or kind of they are but we can

38:37just say you know they they don't have the capacity to to love me in the way that i deserve to be loved

38:42and i'm a good person but um my parents can't see it and they're too selfish or wrapped up in their

38:48own problem whatever you can be as nice although i don't think being too nice is particularly helpful

38:52but you can be relatively not condemning about this kind of stuff

38:57but it's the old thing like it's

38:59it's not my

39:01fault that my mother went through the war

39:04it's not my fault

39:09that my mother

39:10couldn't love it's not my fault that my mother

39:12had an eruptive temper

39:14and was violent it's not my fault i didn't cause that

39:17i didn't make that i didn't

39:19go back through some terminator time machine

39:21through a portal and

39:22encourage the people who started the first and second

39:25world war to do more of whatever the terrible things that they were doing

39:29i didn't

39:30i didn't cause any of that

39:32i didn't make a society wherein children can be rampantly abused

39:36in full auditory hearing of hundreds of people and nobody lifts a finger

39:41i didn't make that i didn't choose to not help

39:44children a child who was being abused in fact i've chosen to help adult children of

39:49victims of child abuse consistently

39:51and i might add at extraordinarily high personal cost from time to time

39:54so

39:55i didn't make the world i didn't make the wars i didn't make my mother's choices i

40:01didn't create communism i didn't cause the russian tanks to roll into

40:05berlin i didn't

40:08do any of that

40:10i'm just trying to survive

40:12the

40:13crumbling catastrophe known as the 20th century

40:16west as best i can

40:18wasn't me wasn't my fault

40:22and you you know i know it's it's odd you know it's an odd thing because it's your parents again you're staring at these two shotgun holes of hatred

40:30contempt

40:31hostility

40:32i could be anything if it wasn't for you goddamn kids

40:35and you have to look at that

40:38and it's a wild thing

40:40but it's a life-saving thing i'll tell you that straight up it's a life-saving thing

40:45just don't take it personally

40:49just don't take it

40:53personally

40:55my mother didn't hate me

40:59your parents didn't hate you

41:00they hated the circumstances

41:02they hated their choices

41:03maybe they hated their spouse

41:04maybe they hated their job

41:05maybe they hated

41:06their own cowardice

41:07maybe they

41:08just externalized it

41:09but it's funny because when your mother if your mother looks at you and says i hate you

41:14you have to detach from that and say it's not personal i know because it kind of feels kind of feels personal this is that

41:22the furnace that forged you in flesh right

41:26but you know i hate you

41:28it's not personal it's not about you

41:30it wasn't about me

41:31it's not it's not personal

41:35i mean it's like trolling right trolling is not people oh i hate stuff it's like no you don't

41:39you don't

41:40i'm delightful

41:40i'm a lovely guy

41:42but

41:43if they see me being courageous

41:46maybe they

41:47you know hate their own cowardice

41:50or

41:50or maybe

41:51they are people who are dependent upon the government

41:53and you're talking about freedom

41:54and then they you know

41:55they view you as a like trying to burn down their crops right before winter or something like that

42:00but you know i'm telling you man

42:02don't take it personally

42:04they don't

42:05my mother didn't

42:07judge me or

42:07think about me or care about me or evaluate me independent of her own moods

42:13right

42:13didn't it didn't happen

42:15and i'm sure that it was the same

42:18with you as well

42:20no

42:24i don't think so i don't think she did

42:26hate you

42:27it's not personal

42:30children are not to be hated

42:32certainly not by their own parents

42:36it's not about that

42:39it's not about that

42:43as somebody says one of the worst things for a child to believe is to believe that they aren't accepted or liked

42:51for just being themselves by their parents

42:53it can become a life of coping and avoiding your emotions

42:55well

42:57do your parents have credibility or not

43:00okay

43:02let's do another quiz here

43:03another question

43:04minus 10 to plus 10

43:07your parents have no credibility

43:09minus 10 like really negative credibility

43:11you'll do the opposite because they're so unwise

43:13minus 10 to plus 10

43:14what kind of credibility do your parents have

43:20for you

43:21or with you

43:22right

43:24what do they um

43:28what do they have for you

43:32somebody says

43:36no one in my family enjoys spending time with the other

43:39everyone goes to their own room

43:41also tragically common

43:44also tragically common

43:47minus 10 to plus

43:49parents credibility

43:51James says minus 10

44:03we've got a

44:06minus 8

44:08minus 2

44:14they had some things right

44:15that's good

44:16that's certainly

44:17certainly better

44:17it's negative

44:18but it's better than minus 8

44:19but you don't

44:27you don't want to just let it accumulate

44:29you know like

44:29sand being washed up on the beach

44:31you don't want to let your parents perspectives

44:33just accumulate on you

44:34either if they're overly praising

44:36or if they're overly negative

44:37and I'm not sure which one is actually worse

44:39in the long run

44:39it's overbracing

44:40or over negative

44:41but

44:45you do have to

44:47you know one of the things that

44:49happens when you become

44:50yourself

44:51or an adult

44:52or independent

44:53or

44:54individuated

44:57is

44:59you judge your parents judgment

45:01it's really really important

45:03you judge

45:04your parents judgment

45:06my father and I

45:09never got along

45:10but that's because

45:12and it wasn't because

45:14he didn't like me

45:14or anything like that

45:15it's just because

45:16I'm a truth teller

45:17and

45:18bro had some bad things

45:19on his conscience

45:20and didn't want me to say them

45:22right

45:22because he was struggling

45:23with depression a lot

45:24over the course of his life

45:25and

45:26my honesty

45:29would not have helped

45:29with that

45:30to put it mildly

45:31right

45:31Chris says

45:34zero

45:34it's a mixed bag

45:35which I find

45:36makes their advice

45:37confusing

45:38right

45:40oh so

45:41if they sometimes

45:41give good advice

45:42and sometimes

45:42give bad advice

45:43well then

45:44they're just like

45:45a blindfolded

45:45they're just like

45:46a blindfolded person

45:47at a mini golf

45:48place

45:49you know

45:49sometimes they get

45:50good shots in

45:51but it's just a coincidence

45:52I had the oddest

45:53coincidence the other day

45:54just by the by

45:55while I'm waiting

45:55for some

45:56feedback here

45:57I had some odd

45:58an odd coincidence

46:02I had a dream

46:03where I was trying

46:04to get away

46:05and I jumped

46:06into a car

46:07but the seat

46:08was jammed

46:08do you ever have this

46:09my wife is like

46:10all of five foot

46:11one and a half

46:11or five foot two

46:12and so

46:13if I get into the car

46:15if she's used it

46:16if I get into the car

46:17without

46:17moving the seat back

46:19I'm eating my knees

46:20right

46:20and

46:21I had a dream

46:22I had a dream

46:23I was trying to get away

46:23from some beast

46:24or monster

46:25and I jumped into a car

46:26but I couldn't get my feet

46:27you know

46:28they were too tight

46:29I couldn't get them

46:29to the gas

46:30it was all very exciting

46:31and then

46:32I was

46:36thinking about something

46:38I got into the car

46:39and foolishly

46:40forgetting the last

46:4123 years of marriage

46:42I just sat in the car

46:44eating my knees again

46:46and it was kind of funny

46:47how

46:47that happened

46:49right after I had the dream

46:52and of course

46:53it's interesting right

46:54oh my god

46:54it's a promonition

46:55no no

46:55it's just

46:56you think about

46:57all of the

46:57you think about

46:59all of the

46:59dreams that don't come true

47:00right

47:01but this one

47:01was just like

47:02I had the dream

47:02and then

47:03I'm like

47:03oh my god

47:04this is out of my dream

47:04it was kind of

47:05it's a neat coincidence

47:06right

47:06let's see here

47:09what

47:12somebody asks me

47:13what was your dad's

47:14childhood like

47:15Steph

47:15I don't know

47:16I know he went to

47:17boarding school

47:17I know that

47:18his

47:20father

47:21was

47:22a drunk

47:23we'd had the same

47:25lands in Ireland

47:26for like a thousand

47:27years

47:27honestly

47:28I came over

47:28with William

47:29the Conqueror

47:29in 1066

47:30we'd had the same

47:31and 900 years

47:34later I was born

47:35we'd had the same

47:37lands

47:38in Ireland

47:40for thousands of years

47:41a thousand years

47:42sorry almost a thousand

47:42years

47:43and then

47:44we had a grandfather

47:45who was a big drunk

47:46now his drunkenness

47:47maybe it was genetic

47:48biological

47:49but it also could have

47:50come out of the fact

47:51that

47:51the male side

47:53of my family

47:53was wiped out

47:54in successive waves

47:55in the first world war

47:56it was absolutely brutal

47:57it was like a total

47:57saving private Ryan

47:59scenario

47:59and

48:01so there was a huge

48:05just sledgehammer blow

48:07that eviscerated

48:07the males

48:08out of my family

48:09first world war

48:09and second world war

48:10and

48:11my father was in

48:13boarding school

48:13and then he later

48:15sent me to boarding school

48:16but only for a couple of years

48:17because then he

48:17apparently ran out of money

48:18and I had to

48:19leave boarding school

48:20which you know

48:21in hindsight

48:22boarding school

48:22was actually not too bad

48:23for me

48:23because it gave me

48:24some male influences

48:25who were

48:26who had some authority

48:27because it's one of the last

48:28holdouts for male authority

48:29it's like

48:29English boarding schools

48:31probably has changed now

48:32and I actually went

48:33some years ago

48:34I went back to the website

48:35and they're like

48:36they don't use

48:38corporal punishment anymore

48:39missed by that much

48:41was your dad

48:42affected by the war too

48:43not really

48:44because

48:45remember

48:46in

48:46we were

48:47well you wouldn't know

48:48this necessarily

48:48but we were in

48:49southern Ireland

48:51our lands were in

48:51southern Ireland

48:52and southern Ireland

48:53was neutral

48:54during the second

48:55world war

48:56and was not bombed

48:57and so on

48:58right

48:58so

48:58it was not like

49:00the bombs are raining down

49:01on him like in London

49:01um

49:07somebody says

49:07my mother hates me

49:09and treated me horribly

49:09but I don't want to be

49:10left out of the will

49:11so I visit her

49:12in the nursing home

49:12is that just fake

49:13or strategic

49:14hmm

49:22I mean I can't

49:23obviously

49:23I can't answer that

49:24it's not evil

49:25I mean if you're lying

49:26a lot

49:27then that's not great

49:28and it's gonna

49:28you know

49:29you may not enjoy

49:30the money

49:30if you get it

49:30through subterfuge

49:31I was certainly

49:32offered stuff

49:33in my father's will

49:35but I

49:35no thanks

49:36no thanks

49:37I do not want

49:38do not want

49:39oh James says

49:42I tried to fit

49:43into a friend's car

49:44that was originally

49:44built for Japanese

49:45people from the

49:45mid 90s

49:46I did not

49:48actually fit

49:49yeah

49:50James is a

49:51stretch Titanic

49:52when it comes to

49:53long length

49:54all right

49:56oh so we got

49:57somebody who says

49:58with regards to

49:59parental credibility

49:59plus five or

50:00plus six probably

50:01I think they

50:02believed they were

50:02acting in my best

50:03interest and were

50:04always there

50:04when I needed them

50:05that is great

50:05that's lovely to hear

50:06good for you

50:07or good for them too

50:09all right

50:12that's strange

50:14says Rose

50:15I thought your name

50:16is French

50:16I did not see

50:17Ireland being part

50:18of your history

50:18well

50:19Molyneux is the

50:21French name

50:21but we're part

50:22of the

50:23William the Conqueror

50:24Battle of Hastings

50:25when the French

50:26came over

50:26in 1066

50:27and took over

50:29a lot of England

50:29so that's where

50:32the French

50:32side of things

50:33comes from

50:34in my family

50:35tree

50:36there's actually

50:36a whole Molyneux

50:37society

50:37like I'm not

50:38kidding

50:39there's a

50:39newsletter

50:40like the

50:40Molyneux

50:41well

50:42famous

50:43slash

50:44infamous

50:45now

50:45right

50:46oh

50:53sorry

50:53Frank

50:53oh

50:54I would do

50:55a long

50:55show

50:56tonight

50:56because I've

50:56done like

50:57seven hours

50:57of work

50:58or eight

50:58hours of

50:58philosophy

50:59today

50:59Frank

50:59is there

50:59anything

51:00else

51:00that you

51:00sorry

51:00did you have

51:03anything else

51:03that you wanted

51:03to mention

51:04no I mean

51:05there's a couple

51:06things that

51:07what you were

51:08saying made me

51:09think about

51:09earlier you

51:10mentioned how

51:11people get so

51:12upset about

51:13if you talk

51:14about freedom

51:15or criticize

51:16people on

51:18welfare or

51:18something like

51:19that and

51:19you know you

51:21mentioned the

51:22way they might

51:22be directly

51:23benefiting from

51:24these systems

51:24but there's

51:26so on a

51:28recent show you

51:29talked about

51:29how you think

51:31that the ring

51:32and lord of the

51:32rings represents

51:33sophistry but

51:35owen benjamin

51:36has said that

51:36in his point

51:37of view the

51:38ring represents

51:39a victim

51:39identity or

51:40victim status

51:41you know you

51:42get rewards

51:43from that you

51:44get social

51:45benefits from

51:46being a

51:46victim but

51:47over time it

51:48starts to

51:48take away from

51:50your whole life

51:51or you know

51:52turn all

51:53and so forth

51:54but but

51:55victimhood and

51:56sophistry are

51:56kind of two

51:57sides of the

51:57same coin

51:58because if you

51:58can get resources

51:59through trade you

52:00don't need to be

52:01a sophist and

52:02you don't need

52:02to lie and

52:03manipulate but

52:05if you portray

52:06yourself as a

52:07victim then you

52:07need sophistry

52:08to make people

52:10feel guilty and

52:11manipulate them

52:12that way

52:12yeah yeah

52:14but no I

52:15didn't really

52:15have anything

52:16else to say

52:16other than

52:17that I

52:18just recently

52:19acquired a

52:20physical copy

52:21of your book

52:22real-time

52:23relationships I'm

52:24reading very

52:25very interesting

52:26I wanted to

52:28say I like I

52:28don't know if

52:29this is the

52:29intent but I

52:30like the way

52:31that it's laid

52:31out where

52:33there's lots of

52:34spacing between

52:34the sentences

52:35it seems like

52:36it's almost

52:36designed in a

52:37way for the

52:38reader to

52:38fill in notes

52:40underneath of

52:41anything that

52:42comes to their

52:42mind as they're

52:43going through

52:43yeah I wanted to

52:44leave some margins

52:45for notes and so

52:46I'm glad that that

52:47I'm glad that that's

52:48noted and working

52:49yeah but that's all

52:51thank you

52:51all right thank you

52:52I appreciate that

52:53I appreciate that

52:54all right

52:55always such a

52:57pleasure to chat

52:58I love love this

52:59I love this audience

53:00I know it was like

53:00I love being here in

53:01Seattle right but

53:03I do I love you guys

53:04as an audience

53:04it's a really

53:05delightful to have

53:06these kinds of

53:07conversations so

53:09Ken Burns has a

53:11new documentary out

53:12on the American

53:12Revolution

53:13Adam Johnson

53:15writes less than

53:16three minutes into

53:17the Ken Burns

53:18documentary on the

53:18American Revolution

53:19and we get one

53:20white people are

53:21bad two Native

53:22Americans had a

53:23centuries-old

53:24democracy before

53:25British colonists

53:25arrived three

53:27Benjamin Franklin

53:28copied the Native

53:29American blueprint

53:30he thinks he got the

53:31Constitution for the

53:32Native Americans

53:33oh my gosh

53:37absolutely wild

53:39oh excuse me

53:43I gotta stop

53:43absolutely wild

53:45all right

53:45it's just crazy

53:46I mean of course

53:46comes out of PBS

53:47right so that's all

53:48just

53:48Jarrett Stepman

53:51says that stupid

53:52myth about Ben

53:52Franklin saying that

53:53the Constitution

53:54was based on the

53:55Iroquois Confederacy

53:56was literally invented

53:57by unattributed line

53:58from a John Rutledge

53:59biography from the

54:001960s there's no

54:01merit in it

54:02typical Ken Burns

54:03it is wild

54:07watching Megyn Kelly

54:08and Mark Levin

54:09go at it

54:11tooth and nail

54:12it is

54:13it is just

54:16fascinating

54:16oh I could do a

54:17whole show on all

54:18of that

54:19but I won't

54:21but I won't

54:23but I won't

54:24uh the

54:27noble savage

54:28myth is the

54:29most annoying

54:29of all

54:29yeah

54:30yeah

54:30well

54:31but the

54:32noble savage

54:32uh is

54:34is the

54:35yearning of

54:36people who

54:36can't compete

54:37for a

54:38non-meritocracy

54:39right

54:40so uh

54:42if if

54:42if there's a

54:43big big

54:44population in

54:44raw meritocracy

54:45very few people

54:47succeed huge

54:48a lot of

54:49people succeed

54:50medium and a

54:50small number of

54:51people don't

54:52succeed

54:52and so if

54:54you're failing

54:54in a

54:55meritocracy

54:56you have a

54:57fantasy of

54:58the noble savage

54:59stuff where

55:00there was no

55:00meritocracy

55:01in in the way

55:03that the sort of

55:03raw free market

55:04does I mean

55:05there's a little

55:05bit of a

55:06meritocracy like

55:06who's the

55:07better guy

55:08at throwing

55:09the spear at

55:09the deer or

55:10whatever right

55:10but you want

55:12to you want

55:12to flatten

55:13you have this

55:13fantasy of a

55:14flattened

55:15meritocracy

55:16or a

55:19non-meritocracy

55:20when you can't

55:21compete and you

55:21can't win

55:22you fantasize

55:24about the

55:24government

55:24giving you

55:25resources of

55:25course right

55:26and you

55:26fantasize

55:27about

55:28there being

55:31no

55:31meritocracy

55:32and the

55:33noble savage

55:33the dream

55:34that boy

55:35in the old

55:35days well

55:36you'd get

55:38assigned your

55:38wife or your

55:39girlfriend it's

55:39the same thing

55:40with like people

55:41who want

55:41arranged marriages

55:42I mean Brad Pitt

55:43doesn't want to

55:44arrange marriages

55:44although he might

55:45have done better

55:45than with

55:46Angelina Jolie

55:47who I read

55:48was actually

55:49hired a hitman

55:49to kill her

55:50when she was

55:5122 she hired

55:51a hitman

55:52to kill her

55:52she's crazy

55:53and so

55:55the noble savage

55:59is the yearning

56:00for a world

56:01where you didn't

56:03have to compete

56:04and you couldn't

56:05lose and it

56:06comes out of

56:07depression

56:07it comes out

56:08of I don't

56:08think I think

56:09most people can

56:10compete in

56:10something and

56:11it's like if

56:14you want to

56:15become a socialist

56:16you know be born

56:17wealthy and fail

56:18and if you want to

56:18become a capitalist

56:19be born poor

56:20and succeed

56:21right because

56:21upward mobility

56:22has you respect

56:23meritocracy

56:24downward mobility

56:25has you yearn

56:26for the noble savage

56:27and an almighty

56:28government that's

56:29going to prevent

56:29you from falling

56:30too far

56:30love from

56:32California

56:32thank you

56:33thank you

56:34I appreciate

56:34that

56:35hello from

56:36San Diego

56:36happy to see

56:38you back on

56:38YouTube

56:39yeah it's

56:40nice

56:40it's nice

56:42love you too

56:42thank you

56:4313

56:44retonian

56:45retonian

56:47all right

56:48any other

56:48last questions

56:49issues

56:49comments

56:49challenges

56:50problems

56:50whatever

56:51is on your

56:52brain

56:53can be shared

56:54in the ether

56:55so Friday

56:58don't forget

56:58Sunday

56:59morning

57:01I go off to

57:02work on

57:03Monday morning

57:04Tuesdays I go

57:05off to honeymoon

57:06so we'll be

57:08doing a call

57:09and show

57:09Sunday morning

57:09and don't

57:11forget

57:11shop.free

57:12demand.com

57:13don't forget

57:13freedom.com

57:15slash call

57:16you want to

57:16set up some

57:17calls

57:18December's

57:20coming up

57:20Christmas time

57:21is coming up

57:21if you've got

57:22family stuff

57:22or anything

57:23that you want

57:23to chat about

57:24I'm happy to

57:24help and I

57:26will shut down

57:26tonight I

57:27love you guys

57:28so much sorry

57:28for such a

57:28short show

57:29but hope to

57:33do a paid

57:33call in next

57:34week after 10

57:34years of listening

57:35do you celebrate

57:36Thanksgiving day

57:37I'm in Canada

57:38so yes I do

57:41but not at the

57:41same time of

57:42course as

57:42Americans

57:42right

57:43somebody says

57:44you said

57:45one time

57:45that you

57:46don't need

57:46to have

57:46a middle

57:46class

57:47lifestyle

57:47to get

57:47married

57:48and start

57:48a family

57:48but looking

57:49back on

57:49how both

57:49my grandfather

57:50brought poverty

57:51to my father's

57:51family of origin

57:52and my father

57:53has done the same

57:53to mine growing up

57:54how do I have

57:54the guarantee

57:55to not do the

57:56same to the

57:57family I want

57:57to create

57:58learn how to

57:59negotiate

58:00provide maximum

58:01value

58:01and spend

58:03less than you

58:03make

58:03learn how to

58:05negotiate

58:05always aim to

58:06provide maximum

58:07value

58:07like you know

58:08when I do

58:09the private

58:09call-in shows

58:10you know

58:11like at least

58:11halfway through

58:12at least three

58:13times over a

58:13two-hour call-in show

58:14I'm like is this

58:15the most helpful

58:15thing is there

58:16anything else

58:16that I can do

58:16that's providing

58:17more value

58:17I check at the

58:18end of it

58:19and all of

58:20that so

58:21someone says

58:22oh I thought

58:23about Thanksgiving

58:24but sometimes

58:24you mention

58:25American things

58:25so I was hoping

58:26you moved

58:27yeah well

58:28we'll see

58:29we'll see

58:29all right

58:30thanks everyone

58:31so much

58:31have a beautiful

58:32night my friends

58:33lots of love

58:34from up here

58:34I'll talk to you

58:34soon

58:34bye

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