- 8 hours ago
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00:00Oof, Oof, Oof, Oof, Oof, Oof, Oof, Oof.
00:30I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:59But I looked and you weren't there.
01:06Just a dream.
01:09I know.
01:11I'm sorry.
01:22Come to think of it, mate.
01:25I had a pretty weird dream too.
01:29Yeah?
01:30Oh, yeah.
01:31Pretty weird, alright?
01:34I dreamt that someone told me that they hated being a shitty navigator.
01:39And wanted to be a salesman.
01:43Wild.
01:46What?
01:48Dad.
01:49What?
01:51Oh my god, it was real!
02:00What do you reckon then? You ready?
02:03No.
02:04Good a time as any.
02:07Okay.
02:09We've got to be crying though, can we?
02:12Hey?
02:14Not gonna look too good, is it?
02:17No.
02:19Please, can you buy more stuff?
02:22No.
02:24Not gonna go down well, is it?
02:26No.
02:27Well then.
02:31You know my old man was in antiques.
02:34When I was little, he used to take me out in his van.
02:37Find some rundown old place.
02:39A real drum.
02:41Owned by some rich biddy with a load of filthy cats and he'd go in.
02:45And honestly,
02:47before I had time to finish my sandwich,
02:49out he'd come with a nice little Queen Anne dressing table.
02:54Yeah, he had a gift, my old man.
02:57The talent,
02:59taught it to me.
03:00And now,
03:02I'm handing that to you.
03:06You understand?
03:10Okay.
03:14Christ.
03:20Didn't happen to notice the Hulk creep in and beat the crap out of me last night, did you?
03:28Right ready, Mr. Sowersman.
03:34One more time.
03:35We have here on offer,
03:37the finest range of creams, lotions and baths.
03:42And you'll find this.
03:44Collagen.
03:47With elastic.
03:49Elastin rich.
03:51Elastin rich cream.
03:53Which will improve your skin smoothness and make you look younger.
03:57But, what if I forget?
03:59Well then make up.
04:01Remember, she's not buying the product, she's buying you.
04:06And who are you?
04:09Who the fuck are you?
04:11I'm Bunny Monroe.
04:12That's absolutely fucking right.
04:14Tell me again.
04:16I'm Bunny Monroe!
04:17I'm Bunny Monroe!
04:19And,
04:21Elastin rich cream,
04:24will improve moisture.
04:27Wow.
04:28Up to 300%.
04:30But,
04:34I don't think you need it.
04:36Actually, Dad, I think you've got the wrong house.
04:40Okay, I can't cope.
04:42Take my money.
04:44Really?
04:45I'd buy a dose of poison off you, you little cutie.
04:48I'll have two bottles.
04:50Okay.
04:51You know what?
04:52When you see that,
04:54Dad and his boy just...
04:56It just gets me.
04:57You know?
04:59Right here.
05:01Where?
05:02Right, mate.
05:03Why don't you go and wait outside while I take care of the boring old paperwork, yeah?
05:19Okay, Dad.
05:20It was nice to meet you.
05:24Hey.
05:26Well done, mate.
05:27Thanks, Dad.
05:31Oh, God.
05:35So cute.
05:53Is that your dad in my house?
05:55We're salesmen.
05:59He's given a one.
06:01He's the best salesman in the world.
06:04You could sell your bicycle to a barracuda.
06:08What?
06:10It's a predatory fish.
06:12Its jaws are armed with hundreds of razor-like teeth.
06:15Oh.
06:18You can hear it from miles away.
06:19She sounds like a strangled chicken.
06:25My mum died.
06:27I wish my mum would die.
06:37You right, Tony?
06:39Watch your trouble.
06:40I wish my mum would die.
06:42Well, I wish my mum would die.
06:46Well,
06:48for fuck's sake.
06:51Why would you do that?
06:52Well, it was a good idea.
06:54Is that your dad?
06:57His mum's boyfriend.
06:59What's he like?
07:00He's alright, I guess.
07:02Nice today.
07:03Nothing's right.
07:04Nice.
07:05Come on, I'm down.
07:06What's he like?
07:08He's alright, I guess.
07:10Dad bought me this.
07:14The bike?
07:16No, just the bell.
07:18It's a really cool bell.
07:20You think so?
07:22Yeah, it's great.
07:24Junior!
07:30Junior, get in the car!
07:32Hello?
07:34Yeah, Blake!
07:36Bye, then. Bye!
07:42Yeah, look like this.
07:44I'm doing alright, guys?
07:46Everything's absolutely fucking perfect, my boy.
07:48That's what fucking brains are!
07:50I've got to be down in the lab!
07:52Fuck!
07:56I'm telling you, buddy boy,
07:58nothing like getting your pipes cleaned
08:00first thing in the morning.
08:04Who was your mate?
08:08She just came and talked to me.
08:10Oh, right.
08:12Fancy her, did she?
08:14Dad.
08:16Alright.
08:18She did, though, I can tell.
08:20She had that special light in her eyes.
08:22Yeah? Yeah.
08:24Telling you buddy boy, I can spot it a mile off.
08:26Maybe I should give her one.
08:32Well, one day, buddy boy.
08:36One day.
08:40So, where are we going next?
08:42I don't know. Check the list.
08:44I don't have the list.
08:46What do you mean you don't have the list?
08:48You had the list.
08:49Well, where did I put it?
08:50I don't know.
08:52I must have left it back there.
08:54Fuck.
08:58Do we need it?
09:00We're salesmen, aren't we?
09:01Yeah.
09:02Well, how the fuck are we going to be salesmen with no customers?
09:06So, should we go back and get it?
09:08Listen, I'm going to teach you the first rule of salesmanship, okay?
09:11No, fuck it.
09:12The first rule of being a man, never go back.
09:15So, what are we going to do?
09:16Just stop flapping your feet about.
09:18I'll work it out.
09:21Morning.
09:25Can I choose the social worker from my house?
09:31Fuck it.
09:34Tell you what, bunny boy.
09:36Why don't you head next door, grab yourself some sweets.
09:38Then have a little sit outside.
09:41Too nice to be cooped up indoors, eh?
09:43Thanks.
09:44Good boy.
09:49Right then.
09:51Okay.
09:52So, what happens now?
09:53I call the police.
09:54Police?
09:56What the fuck are you talking about?
09:58Mr Munro, a Section 20 child protection order had already been filed when you absconded.
10:02A what?
10:03When you absconded.
10:04It's now been escalated to a missing person.
10:05And the police are looking for you.
10:06He's not missing, is he?
10:09He's right here with me.
10:10Stop.
10:11Listen.
10:12His mother has just died in the most tragic of circumstances.
10:16And I can't begin to explain the effect that has had on him.
10:19It's a fucking tragedy, if you must know.
10:20Right now, that boy needs his father.
10:25Don't do it.
10:26What are you doing?
10:27You know there's a pay phone down the road.
10:28I know, we'll be gone by the time you reach, yeah?
10:29The door won't open till it's finished, Billy.
10:30What the fuck?
10:31Yeah.
10:32He's just a child, Mr Munro.
10:33He's my boy.
10:34I'm just showing him the ropes.
10:35I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Munro.
10:36But this is what's best for Benny Jr.
10:37I do hope that one day you understand.
10:38I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Munro, but this is what's best for Benny Jr.
10:40What are you gonna do?
10:41What are you going to do?
10:42I'm sorry.
10:43I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Munro.
10:44I'm sorry.
10:45What are you going to do?
10:46I'm sure you're going to do that.
10:47You're going to do that.
10:48I'm sorry.
10:49I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Munro, but this is what's best for Benny Jr.
10:54And I do hope that one day you understand.
10:57What are you going to do?
11:08What are you going to do?
11:18Ready, boy? Come on, look lively.
11:26Good boy!
11:33I gave you a list.
11:35I know you do. I need a new list.
11:37Well, those were good leads.
11:38They'll give me some more good leads.
11:39I can't keep giving up good leads every time somebody loses a list.
11:43I didn't lose it.
11:44What happened to me then?
11:45Well, Jesus Christ.
11:46Geoffrey, have you ever heard of an act of God?
11:48What's that mean?
11:49It means it wasn't my fault.
11:50So, Geoffrey, sweetheart, I'm going to get in the car,
11:53and I'm going to come to the office, and I'm going to get the list.
11:55No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that, my friend.
11:57You know, I've had the police in here asking lots of questions about you.
12:00It's probably best if you lay low for a bit, Bun.
12:02What?
12:04Why?
12:05That woman called them, the one with the missing money.
12:11And what did you tell them?
12:12I told them that I didn't know where you were.
12:14Did you tell them that I didn't take it?
12:15Did you tell them that I wouldn't do that?
12:19Geoffrey?
12:21Geoffrey!
12:22I told them that I didn't know where you were.
12:24For fuck's sake!
12:26Dad?
12:27Are we going back to the office?
12:28No.
12:29Do we need another lift?
12:30Yeah.
12:31So, how...
12:32Dad?
12:33Are we going back to the office?
12:34No.
12:35Do we need another lift?
12:36Yeah.
12:37So, how...
12:38Second rule of being a man.
12:39Make sure you've got at least one mate.
12:40I'll never let you down.
12:41It helps if you think the sun shines out of your arse.
12:46Dad, are we going back to the office?
12:49No.
12:50But don't we need another list?
12:52Yeah.
12:53So how...
13:02Second rule of being a man.
13:04Make sure you've got at least one mate, I'll never let you down.
13:07It helps if you think the sun shines out of your ass.
13:11So don't aim too high.
13:12Hello, you dirty cod.
13:14Alright, poodle.
13:15I can't get to the phone right now, so if you leave a message after me, you won't follow back.
13:23I know where we'll be.
13:25We're going to the pub.
13:27The pub?
13:29Cool.
13:44You alright, bun?
13:45Alright, babe?
13:46Poodle!
13:47Oh, Gaz, has Poodle been in yet?
13:48No, I've not seen him.
13:49No, I've not seen him.
13:50Genia, come here.
13:51Sit down.
13:52We'll have a quick one while we wait.
13:53Okay.
13:54Large scotch and a coke, yeah?
13:55A coke.
13:56Make it quick, eh, bun?
13:57You know your lad ain't supposed to be speaking.
13:58Yeah, yeah, I know.
13:59No school tonight?
14:00Oi!
14:01What are you doing?
14:02What are you doing?
14:03Ha ha ha.
14:04Oh, I'm not seeing him.
14:06Oh, Gaz, has Poodle been in yet?
14:07No, I've not seen him.
14:08Genia, come here.
14:09Sit down.
14:10We'll have a quick one while we wait.
14:11Okay.
14:12Large scotch and a coke, yeah?
14:13A coke.
14:14Your lad ain't supposed to be speaking.
14:15Yeah, yeah, I know.
14:18No school tonight?
14:25Oi!
14:26What are you doing?
14:34It's so cold.
14:41Dad.
14:43When are we gonna go home?
14:46You wanna be a top salesman?
14:48Yeah, of course.
14:49Well, top salesmen have gotta be like sharks.
14:52Roofless, efficient, killer sharks, okay?
14:55Okay.
14:59You know what happens to a shark if it stops moving?
15:01What?
15:10He suffocates.
15:12Bye.
15:15Bye.
15:46Help me! It's the boys!
15:49Hi, Poodoo.
15:50Oh, Poodoo.
15:53Crap!
15:53You're actually steaming me.
15:55Hi, Poodoo.
15:56What are you doing in here, little man?
15:58Just having a quick one.
16:03You, my little friend, are just too much.
16:05What, you were too busy to come and have a drink with your old pal?
16:08Come on now, as if I'm ever too busy for my mate, Poodoo.
16:14Good to see you.
16:16Gary, a couple of scotches and another coat.
16:19Yeah, in a minute.
16:20Show your appreciation for drink.
16:21Not gonna lie, I've been pretty fucking busy working my list, mate.
16:24Oh, yeah? Pretty fucking busy or pretty busy fucking?
16:27Well, I do like to go above and beyond for my customers.
16:29Oh, yeah.
16:31I know.
16:32What's that fucking...
16:33What?
16:35You all right?
16:37What's that?
16:39A few drinks with the boys?
16:41What more can I ask for?
16:42Dad.
16:45You're right.
16:46Listen.
16:46I think I need a wee actually, Dad.
16:48Yeah, go on.
16:49Over there.
16:50So, Poodoo, mate.
16:51Been a bit of a hot streak, actually.
16:53Managed to go right through my list.
16:54So, I was gonna ask if there was any chance I could.
17:02Hey.
17:04You sure you're all right, mate?
17:07Come on, man.
17:08Hey, what are you doing?
17:12I need a word mate.
17:16Oh, cool.
17:18Yeah!
17:20Poodle!
17:22Nice!
17:24Boxing.
17:26Poodle!
17:28Poodle!
17:30Poodle!
17:32Poodle!
17:34Poodle!
17:36Poodle!
17:38Poodle!
17:40Poodle!
17:42Poodle!
17:44Poodle!
17:46Poodle!
17:48Poodle!
17:54Weird, isn't it?
18:02You don't have to understand, you know.
18:06It's okay to be a little boy.
18:08I love spaceships, beetles.
18:20You're looking cool, Art.
18:22Come on.
18:35Oi, poodle! Get out of the fucking way!
18:38Fuck off!
18:41It's our fucking movement!
18:43Move down!
18:50All the way down.
18:52Fuck off!
18:57Move the fucking arm!
19:02Move out of the fucking way!
19:04Kill me, you pussy!
19:06Hey, poodle!
19:07Show it, sir, man!
19:08I'm poodle!
19:09It's alright, guys. He's had a few too many, mate.
19:11There we are!
19:12Go on!
19:13Go on! Show him there!
19:14Show him there!
19:15Fuck this!
19:16What's the matter with you?
19:17Let's get you another drink.
19:36Sorry, is this your room?
19:38Oh, you're alright.
19:40You're alright.
19:54Are you here with your dad?
19:58Christ.
19:59You didn't fancy the formal affair, no?
20:02I'm not a little kid.
20:03Alright, mate.
20:04I'm a salesman.
20:05I'm a salesman.
20:06On the road.
20:07We'll be going soon.
20:08Alright.
20:09Working on, is it?
20:10I'm a salesman.
20:11On the road.
20:12We'll be going soon.
20:13Alright.
20:14Working on, is it?
20:15Alright.
20:16Working on, is it?
20:17Working on, is it?
20:30Won't be wanting any of this, then.
20:34Come on, poo.
20:35What's up with you, eh?
20:36She's gone.
20:37She's gone.
20:38What are you talking about, mate?
20:39Who's gone?
20:40Hannah.
20:42My Hannah, she's fucked off, Bond, and it's like...
20:46You're my mate, aren't you?
20:48Yeah.
20:49Come on.
20:51It's like she took it with her.
20:52What?
20:53All of a sudden, it's gone.
20:56I can't make a sale.
20:57I can't fork.
20:58I can't...
21:02It doesn't work anymore.
21:04Alright.
21:06Don't panic.
21:07Okay?
21:08It's just one of those things.
21:11Fuck this to everyone.
21:13Has it happened to you?
21:16Well, no.
21:18But...
21:20It's happened to people I know.
21:23You mean me?
21:28Yeah.
21:32Nah, don't worry.
21:33Poor old Bond will sort you out.
21:34Gary, get us a couple more drinks, would ya?
21:50You alright?
21:53Yeah.
21:56I should go.
21:58My dad's probably wondering where I am.
22:03Back to work, right?
22:07Working man.
22:10Actually...
22:14Can I please have some?
22:15Take it.
22:16Thanks.
22:25Good luck.
22:26Me too.
22:30Everything's gonna be alright.
22:32Thanks, Bonnie.
22:33It's good to see you, mate.
22:34You too.
22:35Yeah?
22:37Yeah.
22:39I didn't just come in to say hello though, you know.
22:43I was after a bit of a favour, actually.
22:44What favour?
22:46Look, truth is, I ran into a spot of bother, caught my pants down, you know how it goes.
22:47And I managed to lose my list.
22:48I was gonna ask for a couple of names of yours, but...
22:49actually, if you're not in a zone right now, then maybe I should take the whole thing off your
22:51hand.
22:52I was gonna ask for a couple of names of yours, but...
22:53What do you reckon?
22:54What do you reckon?
22:55That's why you're here.
22:56I didn't just come in to say hello though, you know.
22:57I was after a bit of a favour, actually.
22:58What favour?
23:00Look, truth is, I ran into a spot of bother, caught my pants down, you know how it goes.
23:04And I managed to lose my list.
23:07I was gonna ask for a couple of names of yours, but...
23:12Actually, if you're not in a zone right now, then maybe I should take the whole thing off
23:18your hands.
23:19What do you reckon?
23:20That's why you're here.
23:21That's why you're here.
23:24That's why you've come to see me.
23:26Fucking...
23:27Yeah.
23:28I'm not being rude, Pooh, but do you really think I've got time to be sitting around listening
23:31to your sob stories?
23:36It's your fault.
23:37What is?
23:40You fucked her.
23:42After the wake.
23:43Who?
23:44Annie.
23:46Did I?
23:47No, please.
23:48Poodle, what does it even fucking matter?
23:51No, please.
23:52You're a cunt, Potter.
23:53A true, proper total cunt.
23:54I've been your best mate for years and I love you, but you don't give a fuck about anybody,
23:58but the funny fucking Monroe.
23:59No one did you kill yourself.
24:00She had a condition.
24:01You knew that.
24:02Everyone knew that.
24:03She was ill.
24:04There was nothing me or anyone could do about that.
24:05It was my fault.
24:06It was my fault.
24:07None of this is my fault.
24:08None of this is my fault.
24:09None of this is my fault.
24:10None of this is my fault.
24:11You're a total cunt.
24:12You're a total cunt.
24:13I've been your best mate for years and I love you, but you don't give a fuck about
24:14anybody, but the funny fucking Monroe.
24:17No one did you kill herself?
24:19Get up here.
24:27Oh, leila too.
24:28She had a condition?
24:29You knew that?
24:30Everyone knew that.
24:31She was ill.
24:32There was nothing me or anyone could do about that.
24:34It was my fault.
24:35None of this is my fault!
24:37If you want to hold on to a purge for two fucking minutes, Poot, maybe try not being such a fucking loser.
24:44Lost it?
24:45Lost what? Lost it? You never fucking had it.
24:48You're a part-timer, mate, and also run.
24:50And if your bird was so special, why don't I even remember fucking her?
25:01Poodle.
25:04Poodle!
25:07Poodle!
25:13Dad?
25:15Poodle.
25:16Poodle!
25:16I want you to say sorry to me.
25:18Poodle.
25:19Say sorry.
25:19Poodle!
25:20Say sorry!
25:21And then will you give me the fucking list?
25:26Oh, my.
25:27Ah, no, no, no, no!
25:29Oh, my God.
25:29Oh, my God.
25:30I'm sorry.
25:31Oh, my God.
25:31Oh, your god.
25:32Oh, my God.
25:33Oh, my God.
25:42Poodle.
25:43Oh, my God.
25:45Hoodle, mate
25:53Fucking hell, it's all right mate. It's all right. I've called the police. My wife's on the phone to an ambulance
26:00Please did you see the number plate?
26:03Help is on the way
26:08Wait, where the fuck are you going?
26:10You can't just fuck off
26:15That's the fire you're going!
26:17You can't fucking leave!
26:19You can't fucking leave!
26:23You're gonna come to the line?
26:25Yeah, yeah, yeah!
26:27Yeah, please, go!
26:29What?
26:31What?
26:33What?
26:35You're gonna die, you're gonna die, you're gonna die
26:37You're gonna die, you're gonna die
26:39You're gonna die
26:41You're gonna die
26:43Amen.
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