- 7 hours ago
My Boyfriend Cheating on me ( HD ).
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Holy shit!
00:00:02Oh Jess, you literally look like a penis.
00:00:04Well, you look like a period.
00:00:06You're welcome.
00:00:07Why do they even make dresses like this?
00:00:09It's not like anyone looks good in them.
00:00:17That's fucked up.
00:00:19So do you want to do sushi or pizza?
00:00:21Oh, I forgot to tell you, Luca actually invited me to lunch.
00:00:25We can drop you off though.
00:00:27I would rather get in a lift with Thelma and Louise.
00:00:29Don't be an asshole.
00:00:36Hey, Hanky.
00:00:38I don't offer you a lift, but the Beamer's built for speed,
00:00:40not comfort.
00:00:41Thought you'd fit.
00:00:43Save me a seat at assembly.
00:00:45Me up!
00:00:48Yeah, I hope his dick falls off!
00:00:51Fuck you, asshole!
00:00:59I just wanted to maximize our alone time together.
00:01:16Oh.
00:01:22Okay.
00:01:23I, um...
00:01:25I...
00:01:27Oh, oh.
00:01:29Oh, okay.
00:01:31I just...
00:01:35What are you doing?
00:01:36I just don't want our first time to be at 11 a.m.
00:01:39In a parking lot.
00:01:42Just wait till tomorrow night.
00:01:44We'll have the whole hotel room to ourselves after prom.
00:01:46It'll be worth the wait.
00:01:47I'm not trying to force myself onto you or whatever.
00:01:50I just...
00:01:52I want to be close to you.
00:01:54I want to be close to you too.
00:01:56So?
00:01:57No, I'm sorry.
00:01:59So what do you want to do for lunch?
00:02:04Eh, I gotta go pick up a cake from pre-prom, so...
00:02:08Well, do you want to hang out tonight instead?
00:02:11Can't. FFF.
00:02:12Friday Family Fondue.
00:02:14Right.
00:02:16Well, if you change your mind,
00:02:17I'd love to finally meet your parents.
00:02:20Hmm.
00:02:22I could take you back to school if you want.
00:02:24Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.
00:02:34Take care.
00:03:00Hey!
00:03:01um i just wanted to say thanks for sending me the trig homework kind of just needed to hand
00:03:07something in didn't get a chance to finish because of my gig jesus are you okay she's choking
00:03:13did you just fart no thought i heard a fart you didn't okay uh well i'll catch you later
00:03:31yo no there you are
00:03:38what did you want just talking about your homework
00:03:45gross oh fuck that sucks for her where's greg i don't know he said he had some like
00:03:55student council thing all right come on folks let's settle down all right seniors i know that
00:04:00some of you are planning to take things to the next level tomorrow night sexually that's a word
00:04:05that we can use here we're all adults are almost so i prepared a little demo to have you watch before
00:04:12you do something on your prom night that you can't take back eat a dick hey shut up shut your holes
00:04:20teen pregnancy is not a joke
00:04:24unless it happens to somebody funny
00:04:28protection is the key i'm going to show every johnson in this room
00:04:36that condoms really are one size fits all observe now imagine i am the thing in question
00:04:46they should have just handed out free condoms and call it a day
00:04:48spoken like a true sexual expert i've only done it once that's more than me god i still cannot believe
00:04:56i greened out and missed you meeting johan the dreamy exchange student
00:05:00yeah yeah it's crazy that you have to go back to germany like immediately like the very next day
00:05:06sucks we have one final announcement have a good time at prom and for heaven's sakes
00:05:13use a condom
00:05:15hey i wanted to ask you would you be okay with doing pre-prom at lucas instead of yours
00:05:24the soccer team they just they decided to throw a big party last minute and lucas the captain
00:05:29seriously my mom planned like a whole thing for us i know but he's so excited
00:05:35fine as long as we're still getting ready at mine of course yes
00:05:43yeah well nothing could be worse than that
00:05:47is that greg
00:05:54night oh night
00:05:58she said yes
00:06:00it's always big public displays of affection with him i told him not to do that he choreographed
00:06:18bananas for you clearly i came from a place of love i've been dating lucca for four months
00:06:22and i still can't even get him to introduce me to his parents consider yourself lucky i can't
00:06:27believe you two are going to different colleges do you remember when you found out that he was
00:06:30sleeping with a lock of your hair dateline vibes yeah i think some space will be a good thing
00:06:36no one had their phones out you literally had your phone out you want to hang out tonight
00:06:41vodka heather's throwing a party oh god i hope i'm the only hannah in my program i do not want
00:06:45to be saddled with a nickname like that my first year of college are you kidding she loves it
00:06:50it's actually surprisingly well done it's got a really smooth lower back
00:06:54mm-hmm as much as i would love to see that in person greg told me to come over tonight for a
00:06:59surprise i'm guessing it's a shared burial plot we can give you a ride home though
00:07:04why is your brother here
00:07:06i can't believe this is happening right now i know i've known you since we were like five
00:07:19are you thinking about five-year-old me while i'm inside of you right now that's fucked up
00:07:24that's you're sick does sex always have this much talking yeah it does when you're nervous
00:07:30because you like someone we can't tell hannah oh my god no mom's the word oh great now i'm
00:07:37thinking about your mom no but imagine i came when you said that
00:07:41that would be really fun that would be worse
00:07:47hi hi i think your aux cord is busted oh there's some cds in the glove box
00:08:00if you want yeah whatever your music tastes all women who sound like sad ghosts anyways
00:08:05that's fair so when'd you get back uh yesterday yeah i uh actually i got a job at that italian
00:08:13place near our house so i'll be here till august
00:08:15oh it felt like the right fit because i would literally kill hannah for a free chicken farm
00:08:20hey um do you guys want to go to a show tonight there's this great band that's playing a warehouse
00:08:26near rutgers campus should be pretty cool uh i can't i'm hanging with greg and jess is probably
00:08:32busy jerking it to a pic of luca who's luca her chody boyfriend
00:08:37huh
00:08:38get your feet out
00:08:41you were adopted
00:08:45yeah i know
00:08:46love you
00:09:00love you
00:09:01get home safe
00:09:03my door is right there
00:09:06yeah but you could trip
00:09:07let's go i gotta rock a fat piss
00:09:10why didn't you go at school
00:09:12i did
00:09:13what i gotta go again
00:09:15what is the matter with you
00:09:16hi hannah come in come in
00:09:31i'm just teaching lucy a new trick
00:09:34come on you don't want to miss this
00:09:36lucy what would you like for dinner
00:09:39duck
00:09:40rice
00:09:41please
00:09:42wow
00:09:43she's hitting all her food groups
00:09:44she's so advanced i'd send her to university but i'm so scared of the fraternity parties
00:09:48she's so smart she doesn't even need a treat her reward is communicating with mommy
00:09:54awesome
00:09:56i'm gonna go check on dinner i'm cooking ethiopian food tonight
00:09:59greg should be down in a second
00:10:01rice
00:10:03please
00:10:04please
00:10:05kill
00:10:06me
00:10:07why would they even give you those buttons as an option
00:10:10there's my hanny bananny
00:10:13come upstairs i have something i want to show you
00:10:16please
00:10:17kill
00:10:18mommy
00:10:19kill
00:10:20mommy
00:10:21kill
00:10:22please
00:10:23please
00:10:23please
00:10:24please
00:10:25please
00:10:25hey everyone welcome back to my channel so today i have a super exciting
00:10:37make-up tutorial
00:10:39make-up tutorial
00:10:44so what musical did you want to watch and before you say it i know we can't watch phantom
00:10:52because it's too scary
00:10:54you're not going to propose are you what if i did you're not no no i wanted to take a smaller step first
00:10:59you're not going to propose are you what if i did you're not no no i wanted to take a smaller step first
00:11:06you're not going to propose are you what if i did you're not no no i wanted to take a smaller step first
00:11:13this is from penn state yes so why is it addressed to you you're going to stanford
00:11:21you transferred i transferred
00:11:28now we don't have to worry about expensive flights or missing birthdays or anything i even weaseled my way into the same dorm
00:11:33so we never have to be apart
00:11:35isn't it so great we're going to be together forever
00:11:40yeah
00:11:42together
00:11:44forever
00:11:46forever
00:11:48forever
00:11:50forever
00:11:51forever
00:11:52forever
00:11:55forever
00:11:57forever
00:11:59forever
00:12:02I have to go.
00:12:05What?
00:12:06Hannah!
00:12:09Hannah!
00:12:15Lucy!
00:12:30Okay.
00:12:31You can do this.
00:12:33They're gonna love you.
00:12:49Luca?
00:12:50Jess?
00:12:51Jesus.
00:12:53I thought you had a family dinner.
00:12:55I do.
00:12:56I mean, I did.
00:12:57I yelled at my mom for buying ham instead of prosciutto,
00:13:00so my parents went out without me.
00:13:01How could you do this to me?
00:13:03Look, it's not what it looks like.
00:13:04I barely know this girl.
00:13:06You texted me, Janine.
00:13:07I swear to God.
00:13:11I'm so sorry.
00:13:12I didn't know he was with someone.
00:13:14Siri, pause sexy time playlist.
00:13:17Your text was a lie?
00:13:18Not fully.
00:13:20I bet my mom would think that you have great taste if she knew who you were.
00:13:22You're an asshole.
00:13:26Jess?
00:13:26Come on, Jess!
00:13:30Yo, Janine, are you still here?
00:13:33Can we door dash some shoot-o?
00:13:36Luca cheated on me!
00:13:38No!
00:13:39Greg transferred to Penn State.
00:13:40What?
00:13:41Meet at my house now!
00:13:42How could he fucking do this to me?
00:13:45There goes my chance of being prom queen.
00:13:47He couldn't wait one night to get his dick wet?
00:13:49I bought handcuffs, Hannah.
00:13:51Handcuffs!
00:13:51And yeah, I bought them from the Halloween store because the sex store kind of scares me,
00:13:54but I was going to Google how to use them and blow his fucking mind like I was going to use them on my ankles.
00:13:58That's crazy.
00:13:59You know what my name is in his phone?
00:14:00It's Jess Harrison Lee High.
00:14:02We go to the same fucking school.
00:14:04Yeah, that's crazy.
00:14:06Hannah, you've said the same thing like five times.
00:14:08Like, I know that Greg's transferring was a shock, but isn't it a good thing, especially considering the alternative?
00:14:15I'm a lesbian.
00:14:17I've wanted to tell you forever, but I could never get you at the right time, and I wasn't entirely sure because I hadn't kissed a girl before, so how could I know?
00:14:25But then two weeks into dating, Greg went down on me for the first time, and I had to think of Rachel Weisz in The Mummy to come.
00:14:32And then it was obvious, but I wasn't ready for my whole life to be turned upside down,
00:14:37so I figured I'd go to college and get a septum ring, and it sort of sort itself out.
00:14:42But then Greg wanted to wear my skin as a coat, and now I can't live one more second pretending that I'm not obsessed with girls.
00:14:53Hannah.
00:14:57Hannah, I know you're gay.
00:14:59What?
00:15:00I'm your best friend.
00:15:01And also, it's not exactly hard to tell.
00:15:04What the?
00:15:05In fourth grade, you bought Mrs. Borkowski a bottle of perfume, and then when her husband came for career day, you called him a little bitch.
00:15:11He was a little bitch.
00:15:13He was a firefighter.
00:15:14He was a bitchy firefighter.
00:15:17How come you didn't say anything?
00:15:20It wasn't my place.
00:15:22I figured you'd tell me when you were ready.
00:15:23Just like I didn't tell you I was black until I was eight.
00:15:26And also, when you started dating Greg, I thought maybe you were bi.
00:15:28No.
00:15:29I was just scared.
00:15:32So scared I wasted ten months of my life giving handjobs to a guy with a Glee bumper sticker.
00:15:38Oh my god.
00:15:38I just ran out.
00:15:41How the fuck am I going to look him in the eye tomorrow?
00:15:46Tomorrow.
00:15:47Fuck, tomorrow's prom and we don't have dates.
00:15:49Don't!
00:15:50The perfect excuse not to go.
00:15:52Uh, we are absolutely going.
00:15:55Do you know how much of my college fund I spent on two dresses, lashes, shoes?
00:15:59I got a Brazilian Hannah.
00:16:00I don't even know what that is.
00:16:01Did you know you have hair on your asshole?
00:16:03It is fucked up down there.
00:16:04Okay, we are going to prom.
00:16:06We are getting new dates tonight.
00:16:07It is 9 p.m., Jessica.
00:16:09Prom pact.
00:16:10Stop.
00:16:11Prom.
00:16:12Pact.
00:16:13Oh, you want to compare scars?
00:16:15Because this landed me in ten months of therapy after my mom thought I tried to publicly commit suicide.
00:16:22We promised that no matter what, this would be our night.
00:16:26Yay!
00:16:27I can't wait to go to prom with my boyfriend.
00:16:29If I'm not dating someone by senior year, I'm going to drink bleach and blast social media so I can get a date with Taylor Lautner.
00:16:36Fuck.
00:16:37I wish I thought of that.
00:16:38That's just one part of the perfect prom night.
00:16:41We only have one shot at senior prom.
00:16:43One.
00:16:44And we are this close.
00:16:45I mean, are you really going to let some douchebag who sprays fucking Paco Rabanne on his balls screw up my moment in the spotlight?
00:16:50I don't know what you want me to do.
00:16:51I don't even know what I would say to Greg.
00:16:53You are going to prom with the love of your life.
00:16:55Or as close as we can get.
00:16:56We're going to find you a girl.
00:16:58I've never even flirted with a girl.
00:16:59I'm just supposed to ask one to prom.
00:17:01I get why prom with the do doesn't seem so exciting, but what about prom with the girl of your dreams who you get to maybe finger in the limo later?
00:17:12That's your finger.
00:17:13I do want to finger the girl of my dreams.
00:17:17He has to be hot.
00:17:18Or at least hotter than Luca.
00:17:20Anything less is proof I'm ugly.
00:17:21Mom, what about Eric Stevens?
00:17:25Who?
00:17:26The kid who brought a can of whiskers for lunch in ninth grade.
00:17:28You mean Cat Stevens?
00:17:30Oh my god!
00:17:31Umar, his parents have a private jet.
00:17:33And just broke up with Lisa.
00:17:34Okay, yes.
00:17:35Calling him now.
00:17:36Genius.
00:17:39I can't believe that he's the one where I sneezed.
00:17:41Umar, I just was wondering who you're going to prom with.
00:17:45Yeah, no, that's great.
00:17:46I totally get it.
00:17:47I'm so glad you two worked it out.
00:17:49Because I heard that, I heard a rumor that she's cheating on you.
00:17:53No, you didn't.
00:17:54I didn't.
00:17:55Yeah, you fucking did.
00:17:58Okay.
00:17:59Oh, Angie Adams.
00:18:00She's perfect.
00:18:01Are you kidding me?
00:18:02I would die to come out of prom with someone as cool as her.
00:18:04Look, I might as well DM Sarah Paulson and ask her to prom.
00:18:07Hannah!
00:18:08It would never happen.
00:18:10Fine.
00:18:17Take this away from me.
00:18:19Time to text Melissa Kelly.
00:18:20Okay, give it back.
00:18:25Hey, do you want to go to prom with me?
00:18:35Why?
00:18:36She's typing.
00:18:38No, that is a lie.
00:18:41She hit like 42 home runs this year.
00:18:44God.
00:18:46Bitch.
00:18:48Hey.
00:18:51If we can't find anyone in high school, let's go to college.
00:18:59Skyland, I'm forever.
00:19:00I'm never going to die.
00:19:02Woo!
00:19:21We get in, we ask someone, we get out.
00:19:33I'm having second thoughts.
00:19:35Maybe we should just go home.
00:19:36I kind of wanted to go home.
00:19:37It's too late.
00:19:37Okay.
00:19:40Vodka Heather.
00:19:42Yes?
00:19:42What the fuck is up?
00:19:44Damn, I haven't seen you since summer camp.
00:19:47I didn't know you were hot now.
00:19:49Oh.
00:19:50Um, yeah, no, anyway, thank you for sending the address, by the way.
00:19:55We've had kind of like a crazy night.
00:19:57Like, you wouldn't believe it.
00:19:58Oh, yeah, whatever.
00:19:59Take this.
00:20:00Oh.
00:20:00I'm going to go home, yeah, bottoms up.
00:20:03Yeah, no, no.
00:20:04And get in here.
00:20:04The cops are already on my ass.
00:20:06They're pissing on the neighbor's lawn.
00:20:07Ugh.
00:20:08Serve and protect this ass, you fucking cunts.
00:20:15So, um, are there any single...
00:20:18Let's just leave.
00:20:20Hey, Hannah.
00:20:22I don't know what to do, Jess.
00:20:24How do you even flirt with a lesbian?
00:20:26Well, how would you want someone to flirt with you?
00:20:28I don't know.
00:20:29By, like, giving me a bunch of different flowers,
00:20:33and they all, like, represent the different qualities about me.
00:20:36Wow, you are gay.
00:20:38You're not helping.
00:20:39Okay, okay, just tell them that they smell nice.
00:20:42Everyone wants to hear that.
00:20:43Okay, yeah.
00:20:44Good call.
00:20:44Yeah?
00:20:44Okay.
00:20:45Okay.
00:20:47I am going to go hit on Timothee Chalamet.
00:20:49You are going to find a hot lesbian and sweep her off her feet.
00:20:53Yeah.
00:20:53Yeah?
00:20:53Uh-huh.
00:20:54Okay?
00:20:54Yep.
00:20:54All right.
00:20:55You ready?
00:20:55I guess.
00:20:56Meet you on the other side.
00:20:57Okay.
00:20:58Okay.
00:20:58How do I know who's gay?
00:21:06Hey, Mommy.
00:21:30Did you find her?
00:21:31No, she won't pick up her phone.
00:21:34I'm talking about Lucy.
00:21:36I'm worried sick.
00:21:37That's your sister.
00:21:38I don't care about the damn dog.
00:21:40I'm chasing the love of my life.
00:21:43Oh, God.
00:21:46Hannah, please.
00:21:48I know I come on strong, but it's just because of the amount of love I have in my heart.
00:21:53Hey, she's not here.
00:21:55Last I heard she was with you.
00:21:56She's not with me.
00:22:01She's not.
00:22:02Are you okay?
00:22:03I don't know.
00:22:05I'm probably pretty dehydrated because I've been crying a lot.
00:22:10Okay.
00:22:11Okay.
00:22:12Okay.
00:22:12Um, you stay here.
00:22:14Okay?
00:22:15I'm going to get you some water.
00:22:16Okay?
00:22:16Okay.
00:22:17You're going to be okay?
00:22:19Yeah.
00:22:19You sure?
00:22:20Yeah.
00:22:21Okay.
00:22:22Think happy thoughts.
00:22:24No.
00:22:28No.
00:22:28No.
00:22:35That's a good one.
00:22:37Are you an Angel Olsen fan?
00:22:39What?
00:22:41Are you an Angel Olsen fan?
00:22:43I don't like that.
00:22:44I don't speak English.
00:22:44Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sì, sì, um, parlo un poco di italiano, um, ho visto il film Lizzie
00:22:55Maguire tipo Cente Volte, um, so, yeah, so I know some basics.
00:23:01Mi chiamo Giancarlo.
00:23:02Giancarlo.
00:23:04I like that.
00:23:06Mi chiamo Jess.
00:23:07Mi sorprende che il tuo istinto di sopravvivenza non ti abbia fatto fuggire.
00:23:10Il male che ho dentro è palpabile per la maggior parte delle persone.
00:23:16Totally.
00:23:18Hey, do you want to get a drink?
00:23:23I got this.
00:23:25I got this.
00:23:28I...
00:23:29Oh.
00:23:37Oh.
00:23:39After you.
00:23:40After you.
00:23:42After me.
00:23:45Awesome party, you guys.
00:23:47Really killer.
00:23:49Hi.
00:23:50Hi.
00:23:54Hi.
00:23:55Oh.
00:23:58Dammit.
00:23:58You smell really good.
00:24:12Oh, sweetheart.
00:24:14I'm a twink.
00:24:15Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
00:24:16Don't worry about it.
00:24:17Oh my god.
00:24:18Now I know I look good.
00:24:21I'm so sorry.
00:24:22Oh, I'm sorry.
00:24:39Get in here.
00:24:40No, no, no.
00:24:40It's okay.
00:24:41I really don't...
00:24:41Get the fuck in here.
00:24:44Move.
00:24:44You look stressed.
00:24:52You want some molly?
00:24:53Actually, I'm trying to cut back, but thank you.
00:24:58I'm gonna go find Jess.
00:25:00You need to get high.
00:25:02What?
00:25:03Here.
00:25:03Here.
00:25:03You know, I used to be just like you.
00:25:11I'm sad, no confidence, wetting the bed all the time.
00:25:15I don't wet the bed.
00:25:16That's how I became Vodka Heather.
00:25:17Vodka Heather can do anything.
00:25:20Watch this.
00:25:21Whoa, don't do that.
00:25:23Kiss each other.
00:25:26See?
00:25:26Yeah, I don't think I want what you have.
00:25:28You do.
00:25:29It's all about confidence.
00:25:31Substance endues confidence.
00:25:32Don't you think talking to girls would be a lot easier if you were confident?
00:25:40Fuck it.
00:25:41That's the spirit.
00:25:42Give me your keys.
00:25:51Get down here.
00:25:52Come on.
00:25:58Whoop and why?
00:26:02So, how do you feel?
00:26:07Gay as hell.
00:26:08So, do you study film with Heather?
00:26:10No, non sono uno studente.
00:26:12Dopo estermi stancato di torturare gli animali dei miei vicini, ho iniziato a cercare prede più grandi.
00:26:18Yeah, same.
00:26:19Yeah.
00:26:20Yeah.
00:26:21Yeah.
00:26:22Hey, do you want to go somewhere else to talk?
00:26:25Absolutely.
00:26:26Okay.
00:26:27It's time.
00:26:29Go get him, tiger.
00:26:30Wait.
00:26:31How do I know who's gay?
00:26:33Uh, it's a first year college party.
00:26:35Everyone's gay.
00:26:36Okay.
00:26:37Okay.
00:26:38Yeah.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:40Yeah.
00:26:41Yeah.
00:26:43Yeah.
00:26:44How do I know who's gay?
00:26:46Uh, it's a first year college party.
00:26:49Everyone's gay.
00:26:51Okay.
00:26:52Yeah
00:27:22You're here alone?
00:27:45Yeah
00:27:45Not anymore
00:27:49Oh
00:27:52Interesting
00:27:55Yeah, no, I'm sorry
00:27:58I'm sorry if I was too forward
00:28:00I just wanted to ask you a question
00:28:02Okay
00:28:07Yeah, no, I was wondering
00:28:10if maybe you're free tomorrow
00:28:12to...
00:28:13Oh, okay, yeah
00:28:14Do a little more of that
00:28:16Mio Dio, se ho fame
00:28:22Thank you
00:28:24Yes?
00:28:28We're second cousins
00:28:29No, we can't...
00:28:32Wait, was your problem
00:28:34it's with you in Twilight?
00:28:35Oh my god, you know, I guess this is why people have family reunions
00:28:38Oh my god, thank god
00:28:40Do you want to just pretend this never happened?
00:28:43100%
00:28:43Yeah
00:28:44Hey, did you know when Marsha died?
00:28:46She was about to die
00:28:47We got a complaint that this house is blasting Charlie 10C10
00:28:53so I know somebody's snorting drugs in here
00:28:56Let's dance
00:28:57Shit
00:28:59Finally, Christ
00:29:02You'd pay so much for data
00:29:03you'd think Google Translate would work
00:29:05Okay
00:29:06Um
00:29:07Uh
00:29:08Verrai al balo con me
00:29:11Oh my god
00:29:13The cops are here
00:29:14We gotta go
00:29:14Mi hanno trovato
00:29:16E' proprio prima del mio primo sacrificio umano
00:29:19Forse stanotte verrai il mio giudizio finale
00:29:21Ma non senza un inseguimento
00:29:24Was that guy trying to kill you?
00:29:29Look, it was either that or intense sexual chemistry
00:29:30and I was willing to find out
00:29:31Come on
00:29:32Eat glass, pigs
00:29:34Fun
00:29:36Great party
00:29:37Fuck
00:29:38Shit, shit, shit
00:29:51What do we do?
00:29:52I sorted a bunch of drugs
00:29:53If they test me, I'm going to jail for sure
00:29:55What do you think they're going to do to me?
00:29:57I'm a black teenager who broke a minor law
00:29:58and their wet fucking dream
00:29:59We gotta go over
00:30:01Oh fuck
00:30:02If we double bounce, we can get enough air
00:30:04We have to clear the fence
00:30:04I got you
00:30:07Okay, okay
00:30:08Thanks
00:30:08Okay
00:30:09Ready?
00:30:11You need to kick over the fence
00:30:12Hi-ya
00:30:13Yeah, like that
00:30:14Hi-ya
00:30:14Yeah
00:30:15This is fun
00:30:16Sorry, sorry, sorry
00:30:18I think I'm still pretty high
00:30:19Turn your hands
00:30:20Turn your hands
00:30:20Okay
00:30:20We have to turn
00:30:22And count
00:30:22Okay
00:30:23One
00:30:24Two
00:30:26Three
00:30:26Woo
00:30:27Holy shit
00:30:35Oh my god
00:30:36What are you fucking
00:30:38You're a genius
00:30:39I never should have doubted you
00:30:41Are you girls?
00:30:50Yes
00:30:52No
00:30:55Alright, face yourself
00:31:04Thanks, Jacob
00:31:06Yeah
00:31:08You have a really calming presence
00:31:09I think it's because you remind me of
00:31:11Okay, okay, okay
00:31:13Hey, hey, hey
00:31:14It's okay
00:31:14It's okay
00:31:15Look, I'm sure everything is
00:31:16Gonna work out
00:31:18Exactly how it's supposed to
00:31:20You know
00:31:20Maybe Hannah just needs some time to think
00:31:22You know
00:31:23Haven't you ever needed time away from her to process?
00:31:26No
00:31:26I would live in her pocket if I could
00:31:28Okay
00:31:30Okay
00:31:32I'm sorry, Jacob
00:31:33It's just
00:31:34No, no
00:31:35I don't mean to be a burden
00:31:36It's just
00:31:36I can't be alone right now
00:31:38I just
00:31:40Can't
00:31:41Hey, um
00:31:42I was gonna go to a concert tonight
00:31:44Do you wanna come with me to that?
00:31:45Thank you
00:31:46Oh, yo
00:31:47Please
00:31:48Okay
00:31:50Can we hold hands in the car?
00:31:55Oh, your hair's straight again
00:31:56Cool
00:31:57Um
00:31:59Thanks
00:32:00Sorry we had to crash your party
00:32:03We kind of had no choice
00:32:04But, you know, without you guys
00:32:05We probably would be arrested right now
00:32:07Actually, I'd say
00:32:08Somersaulting through the air
00:32:09Is what saved us
00:32:10But, you know
00:32:10Yeah, thank you so much
00:32:13Are you kidding?
00:32:14You babes are the ones helping us out
00:32:16This was supposed to be our frats big
00:32:18End of the year kegger
00:32:18But
00:32:19None of the sororities we invited showed up
00:32:21So
00:32:21One
00:32:22Two
00:32:23Three
00:32:23For the boys
00:32:26You're not coming tonight
00:32:27Okay
00:32:28Looks like I took that
00:32:30Mandatory consent course for nothing
00:32:31Wonder why
00:32:35I'm Jess, by the way
00:32:37Reggie
00:32:38So
00:32:39Do you ladies want me to get you some drinks?
00:32:41Um, we should really be going
00:32:42And our parents know our exact location
00:32:45So
00:32:45They'd be able to find us
00:32:47If for some reason
00:32:48We were blocked from leaving
00:32:50Huh
00:32:51She's just kidding
00:32:55Hannah
00:32:57Hannah, can I talk to you over there for a sec?
00:32:59I think we should stay
00:33:07Are you serious?
00:33:09Frat bros are like
00:33:09The most rapey subgroup of men
00:33:11I don't get that vibe from Reggie
00:33:13He seems honest
00:33:14God, you have
00:33:15Horrible taste in men
00:33:17I promise
00:33:17I'll be quick
00:33:18Okay
00:33:19I'll just feel him out
00:33:20And then ask him right away
00:33:21And then
00:33:22We can find
00:33:23The gayest
00:33:24Queerest
00:33:25Co-op
00:33:25Slash poetry slam
00:33:26Slash vegan restaurant
00:33:28You can imagine
00:33:28Come on
00:33:29He's a hot college guy
00:33:31Everyone would freak
00:33:32If I brought him to prom
00:33:33Please, hands
00:33:35Fine
00:33:35You're the best
00:33:37I know
00:33:37Hey, you want to play beer pong?
00:33:40Rock and roll
00:33:40Table's this way
00:33:41Okay
00:33:42You know what?
00:33:43Keep your location on
00:33:45Just in case
00:33:46Yes, mommy
00:33:47Hey, so I was wondering
00:33:54If maybe
00:33:55I'm gay
00:33:55Cool
00:33:56Gay's good
00:33:59So you're into sports
00:34:01I'm gonna go inside
00:34:02Yeah, right on
00:34:03If maybe
00:34:08We sat down
00:34:08In the
00:34:23Bye
00:34:24Bye
00:34:25Bye
00:34:26Bye
00:34:26Bye
00:34:32Bye
00:34:33I don't know.
00:35:03Oh, fuck.
00:35:28Damn, you're pretty good at this.
00:35:29What can I say?
00:35:30When I know what I want, nothing stops me from getting you.
00:35:33Same.
00:35:34You know, I actually didn't get into college, so I just started showing up to the classes.
00:35:38Now they have to give me a degree.
00:35:41You want to play another round?
00:35:43Let's do it.
00:35:44The stripper's here!
00:35:46You want to go up to my room instead?
00:35:52Yeah, sure.
00:35:53Cool.
00:35:55All right, Jess, it's time to get freaky.
00:35:57Time to get freaky for a prom date.
00:35:59I feel like a woman in STEM right now.
00:36:01Fucking sisters doing it for themselves.
00:36:03Okay.
00:36:22Jesus.
00:36:23I'm sorry.
00:36:25I'm stuck.
00:36:26All right, listen up, boys.
00:36:36This is Lexi.
00:36:38Tip well and be respectful, because she's a dancer from the only company that hasn't blacklisted
00:36:43our frat yet.
00:36:54Okay.
00:36:55Oh my God.
00:36:56Wow.
00:36:56You're quite the athlete.
00:37:09Thanks.
00:37:11You know, my coach says, one more concussion and I'll have to learn to read again.
00:37:14Oh, that's awful.
00:37:15I know.
00:37:17It was so hard the first time.
00:37:20Want to come sit?
00:37:22I actually need a little help with something.
00:37:25Yes.
00:37:26Just sitting on your bed.
00:37:38Sorry.
00:37:39They're here somewhere.
00:37:41Oh, no.
00:37:41Take your time.
00:37:42Protection is key.
00:37:48My puppy gave me this hundred dollars for graduating.
00:37:52Aren't you generous?
00:37:53There they are.
00:38:08Let's go.
00:38:09I'm ready.
00:38:09What?
00:38:12I wanted your help to write an email to my mom.
00:38:15What?
00:38:16All the concussions make me super sensitive to light.
00:38:18Did I say that already?
00:38:20I can't look at the screen for more than ten minutes.
00:38:22Oh, yeah.
00:38:24No, I just thought.
00:38:28I mean, we can do it if you want.
00:38:32Um, actually, I was just, I was going to see if you wanted to go to prom.
00:38:37Wait, you want to go to prom with me?
00:38:38I'd love to.
00:38:39Are you going to prom with me?
00:38:44What was that, sweetheart?
00:38:45Are you serious?
00:38:52Yeah.
00:38:52We'll have the best night of our lives.
00:38:57Reggie?
00:38:59I get the feeling that you boys want me to take my top off.
00:39:04Yeah!
00:39:05Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:06That's okay.
00:39:07You really...
00:39:08Reggie?
00:39:11Help!
00:39:12Help!
00:39:12Help!
00:39:12Help!
00:39:13Help!
00:39:14Help!
00:39:15Help!
00:39:16Help!
00:39:17No, no, no, no.
00:39:19Gil, you're going to get us blacklisted.
00:39:20I'm so sorry.
00:39:21Oh!
00:39:22Oh!
00:39:23Oh!
00:39:24Oh!
00:39:25Oh!
00:39:26Oh!
00:39:27Oh!
00:39:28Oh!
00:39:29Oh!
00:39:30Oh!
00:39:31Oh!
00:39:32Oh!
00:39:33Oh!
00:39:34Oh!
00:39:35Oh!
00:39:36Oh!
00:39:37Oh!
00:39:38Oh!
00:39:39Oh!
00:39:40Oh!
00:39:41Oh!
00:39:42Jess!
00:39:43Jess!
00:39:44Jess!
00:39:45Jess!
00:39:46I hear you!
00:39:47Jess!
00:39:48Here!
00:39:49Oh, my God.
00:39:50Oh.
00:39:51Oh, I thought you were dead.
00:39:53What happened?
00:39:55Oh, my God!
00:39:56Yeah!
00:39:57Get out of my bathroom, you creep!
00:39:58Girl!
00:40:00I saved you!
00:40:01No!
00:40:02You idiot!
00:40:03He was going to go to prom with me!
00:40:04Why were you screaming for help?
00:40:05Are you bleeding?
00:40:06Yes!
00:40:07We need to leave, like now!
00:40:08Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:40:09Just get him off at me!
00:40:10Okay!
00:40:11Pardon me!
00:40:12Yeah!
00:40:13Oh, my butt, my butt!
00:40:14No, I got you!
00:40:15I got you!
00:40:16Okay, come here!
00:40:17Okay!
00:40:18Yeah!
00:40:19Pull through!
00:40:20Oh, my God!
00:40:21I don't need to scream!
00:40:22Okay!
00:40:23Let's go!
00:40:24Okay!
00:40:25Wait, wait, wait!
00:40:26Wait, wait, wait!
00:40:27One second.
00:40:29Hey, can you get a landscape of us?
00:40:30Are you fucking kidding me?
00:40:31Okay, okay, okay, okay!
00:40:33Oh, my God!
00:40:34I was so close!
00:40:35What happened back there?
00:40:37Well, let me think.
00:40:39Um, you ditched me for a man with the IQ of a ham sandwich, and then I sneezed blood all
00:40:45over a beautiful woman.
00:40:47You know what?
00:40:48I'm just-
00:40:49This night is over, and I'm just- I'm gonna go home.
00:40:54Where are my keys?
00:40:58Where the fuck are my-
00:41:00Fuck!
00:41:01Oh, my God, I left them at Heather's after doing that bump.
00:41:06Hannah, it's okay.
00:41:07We're just gonna find another party really quick, I'm gonna grab a date, and then boom,
00:41:11we're out of there.
00:41:12What the fuck are you talking about?
00:41:13I fucked my face, Jess!
00:41:15It's over!
00:41:16Hannah, come on!
00:41:17Let's just-
00:41:18No, no!
00:41:19We're meeting up with Jacob to grab his keys, and then you can do whatever you want, okay?
00:41:22Wait.
00:41:23Wait, you're calling Jacob?
00:41:25You had your chance, now set me free.
00:41:30There's nothing left out to me.
00:41:32And now when you reach out, you'll see.
00:41:35I won't be-
00:41:36By your side.
00:41:38By your side.
00:41:40By your side.
00:41:44But they told me that my cartilage is too weak to handle a punch.
00:41:49Oh, speaking of fighting, I actually asked Mr. Sanchez to pair me and Hannah up in the self-defense class.
00:41:54Little did I know, she has a mean right hook.
00:41:57Knocked me clean out.
00:41:58Concussed.
00:41:59Never been the same.
00:42:00But she actually carried me to the nurse's office, and that was that.
00:42:04That's when I knew she was the one for me.
00:42:07I actually still have that gym shirt with the blood on it.
00:42:10Yeah?
00:42:11I never washed it.
00:42:12Wow.
00:42:13Never will wash it, actually.
00:42:14Wow.
00:42:15That is crazy.
00:42:16Hey, um, why don't you go grab us some drinks from the bar?
00:42:20Huh?
00:42:21No problemo, Jakey.
00:42:23You know, it's bonkers that it's taken us this long to hang out one-on-one.
00:42:27We have such great chemistry.
00:42:30Okay.
00:42:33Hannah.
00:42:34Yo, where are you on campus?
00:42:35I need to borrow your keys.
00:42:36Hannah, let's just, like, ring the doorbell until your parents wake up.
00:42:39Richardson and Wyckoff.
00:42:40Okay.
00:42:41Yeah, we're like ten minutes' walk from there.
00:42:43Okay.
00:42:45Yeah, I'm with her right now.
00:42:46Why?
00:42:47What the fuck?!
00:42:49Hello?
00:42:51Hannah, can you...
00:42:54Okay?
00:42:55I'm sorry.
00:42:56If that was some ploy to try to get me to stay out with you...
00:43:00No.
00:43:01No, it extremely isn't working!
00:43:03I'm sorry, I thought he was gonna say something!
00:43:05What are you talking about?!
00:43:06I had sex with Jacob.
00:43:11When?
00:43:12When we visited him in January.
00:43:14No, that's...
00:43:16When you had your one-night stand with Johan.
00:43:18S...
00:43:20Johan is Jacob?!
00:43:22I...
00:43:23Thanks for making our two-year anniversary so special.
00:43:25Boo-boo!
00:43:26Oh, yeah.
00:43:27The night's not over yet.
00:43:29Why don't you make a wish?
00:43:31Let's just do it.
00:43:32Hey, I'll make a wish.
00:43:33Throw it in there.
00:43:34Okay.
00:43:35Oh, my God!
00:43:36I-I didn't know what else to do!
00:43:38I didn't want to lie to my best friend about doing it for the first time,
00:43:41but then I knew I couldn't tell you it was Jacob,
00:43:43because then you'd get upset.
00:43:44Yeah?
00:43:45Well, because we, you know, talked in graphic detail about that night,
00:43:48and I literally hyped you up about riding the D,
00:43:51and now you're telling me the D road was my f-
00:43:55Oh, God.
00:44:00I think I-I might have genuine feelings for it.
00:44:03I kissed my cousin because of you?
00:44:06You fucking brother fucker!
00:44:08You kissed your what?
00:44:10She kissed her cousin?
00:44:11I saw a show about this.
00:44:14Oh, God.
00:44:15Oh, God.
00:44:16Let's just find a different fountain.
00:44:18That was my last quarter.
00:44:19Oh, God, no, no.
00:44:20Oh, my God.
00:44:22You're a horrible friend.
00:44:24This whole shitty night only happened because you're obsessed with having the perfect prom night.
00:44:29You wanted to find a date, too.
00:44:31Okay?
00:44:32If it was that bad, you could have just left.
00:44:34And abandoned you in a frat house?
00:44:36When have I ever left your side?
00:44:39I cannot believe I let you drag me out for the gay prom of my dreams.
00:44:43Of course, this was always about you.
00:44:46Okay.
00:44:47You realize everything is always about you?
00:44:49If I hadn't convinced you to come, you'd have been crawling right back to Greg,
00:44:52and you would have acted like nothing happened and that everything was okay like you always do.
00:44:56I'm actually, I'm being a super ally right now.
00:44:59Do not act like you understand the pressures of coming out because you really don't.
00:45:03I'm so sorry.
00:45:04Would you mind keeping it down a little?
00:45:06We support whatever's going on between the two of you, but we're trying to have a moment.
00:45:09I'll fucking kill you.
00:45:10Can you interrupt my best friend?
00:45:11Okay.
00:45:12Jesus Christ.
00:45:13Really romantic to have a moment at a fucking fountain at a college.
00:45:16Okay.
00:45:17Have a good night.
00:45:19Wow.
00:45:20Wow.
00:45:21Wow.
00:45:22Han?
00:45:23Hope your wish doesn't come true.
00:45:24Well, it did come true.
00:45:25It was to have your face fucked up.
00:45:27Hannah.
00:45:31There is no way you're taking that phone call instead of finishing this with me.
00:45:36I won't have a shot at Prom Queen without him.
00:45:38Are you serious?
00:45:42Hannah!
00:45:45Fucking...
00:45:52What do you want?
00:45:53So, there's a cool guy in the picture that you posted.
00:45:56Why do you care?
00:45:57You seem to have your hands pretty full when I came by earlier.
00:46:00Jess, I'm sorry.
00:46:01Come on.
00:46:02I made a mistake.
00:46:03She doesn't mean anything to me.
00:46:04And FYI, she tried to get me to take you to prom, and I said no.
00:46:08You are the one I want to go with.
00:46:11Yeah, well, Hannah and I were actually at this really cool warehouse show at Rutgers, so I gotta go.
00:46:22Alright, you're Shirley Temple and Virgin Screwdriver.
00:46:26Thank you kindly, bartender.
00:46:27And might I add, I am very surprised that you guys don't ask for ID at this establishment.
00:46:32I'm 16.
00:46:33whiskey ginger ale.
00:46:34I don't serve minors.
00:46:36Can I just sit here?
00:46:37Whiskey ginger ale?
00:46:47I don't serve minors.
00:46:50Can I just sit here?
00:46:52Alright, for this next song, we got a very special guest.
00:46:57Give it up for Angie Adams!
00:47:05One, two, three, four!
00:47:07Hannah?
00:47:18Watch it.
00:47:20Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
00:47:21No, no, no, it's no problem.
00:47:23Hi.
00:47:24Hi.
00:47:25Uh, have you seen Hannah?
00:47:28No, what, is everything okay?
00:47:30Yeah, no, I just, uh, I told her that we did it.
00:47:33Shit, um, okay, how did she take it?
00:47:39She, she threw up in a fountain and then she ran away.
00:47:43Better than I expected.
00:47:44Hey, I'm really sorry that car ride was super awkward.
00:47:48I'm sure that your boyfriend is great and I hope that you guys are really happy together, truly.
00:47:52Uh, actually, he cheated on me.
00:47:54That fucker, we should kill him, right?
00:47:59Uh, hey, do you maybe want to go sit and talk for a minute?
00:48:02Uh, yeah.
00:48:05Okay.
00:48:05Okay.
00:48:06Yeah.
00:48:10Jacob?
00:48:10Hanna?
00:48:27Hanna?
00:48:28Angie?
00:48:31What are you doing here?
00:48:33My sister's crashing here.
00:48:34She invited me to play a little bit.
00:48:35What are you doing here?
00:48:36I came to grab house keys from my brother.
00:48:38I had kind of a rough night.
00:48:42Yeah, I can see that.
00:48:43What happened?
00:48:45I had the good fortune of seeing someone's boobs for the first time.
00:48:49And then I promptly sneezed blood on them.
00:48:52Are you serious?
00:48:54That's incredible.
00:48:56Start at the beginning.
00:48:57I need to know everything.
00:49:01I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed to drop the ball on two potential prom dates.
00:49:06That's...
00:49:06Yeah, okay.
00:49:07Well, your sister smashing a glass over the head of one of them didn't help.
00:49:12Yeah, yeah.
00:49:12Taking down frat bros.
00:49:14The lesbian agenda.
00:49:17What?
00:49:18What are you talking about?
00:49:19Oh my god, Jess.
00:49:20Come on.
00:49:21She's my sister.
00:49:22You think I don't know she's gay?
00:49:23I caught her trying to leave the house in my jorts like 30 times.
00:49:29Can I ask you something?
00:49:31Why do you care so much about finding a prom date?
00:49:34I guess going alone is kind of like admitting that no one wanted to go with you.
00:49:45But going with someone popular means I've made it.
00:49:49Oh, there you are.
00:49:50You can't leave me like that, Dad.
00:49:52I mean, Jake.
00:49:53You know I have abandoned...
00:49:55Oh my god.
00:49:56If you're here...
00:49:57No.
00:49:58I gotta go get my girl.
00:49:59No, no, no.
00:50:00I'm gonna go grab him.
00:50:01Go find Hannah.
00:50:02Okay.
00:50:02Hannah!
00:50:03Excuse me, sorry.
00:50:04Hannah!
00:50:05Sorry, guys.
00:50:06Hannah, where?
00:50:07Hannah!
00:50:07Jess!
00:50:08Blue cat.
00:50:09So your first time seeing boobs was in front of 25 fat bros.
00:50:23And that's not how it goes for everyone?
00:50:24No.
00:50:25I mean...
00:50:26Um, I just...
00:50:26I don't know.
00:50:27I feel like you've never done anything half as embarrassing.
00:50:29Hey, don't let my fat ass and perfect personality fool you.
00:50:33I went to circus camp until I was 15.
00:50:36You're lying.
00:50:36Whoa!
00:50:42Yeah.
00:50:42I have a feeling you used that trick on all the girls.
00:50:45Not on all the girls.
00:50:46Just the ones I'm trying to kiss.
00:50:52Okay, I gotta ask.
00:50:53Where is that student council kid you're always with?
00:50:57Greg?
00:50:58Oh, I broke up with him.
00:51:00Yeah, I'm a lesbian.
00:51:02Well, I can't imagine those clothes are really comfortable.
00:51:05Shouldn't we go up to my sister's room to find you something else?
00:51:10Yeah, sure.
00:51:20Please?
00:51:22Please?
00:51:23Has anyone seen a girl named Hannah?
00:51:25She's 5'5 and most perfect angel in the world.
00:51:30Please?
00:51:31I don't have time for this.
00:51:32I just fucked up one time.
00:51:33It's really over because I made one mistake?
00:51:35You never treated me properly, Luca.
00:51:37I did a lot of things wrong.
00:51:39I should have introduced you to my parents.
00:51:40I was confused, but I'm not anymore.
00:51:42It's too late.
00:51:43Come on, I swear I can make things right.
00:51:45I want to go to prom together.
00:51:47Like, together.
00:51:48Together.
00:51:48Prom king and prom queen.
00:51:50So, you can, um...
00:52:02Put...
00:52:03It's on.
00:52:04Amazing.
00:52:05Or we could both take our shirts off.
00:52:08I would like to do that.
00:52:10Yeah.
00:52:12I changed colleges for you and then you ran out of my house.
00:52:15Yeah, that's a breakup.
00:52:17What?
00:52:17Hannah, how could you do this to me?
00:52:20I'm in love with you.
00:52:22Because I'm gay, Greg.
00:52:23And I've always been gay.
00:52:25And I was too afraid to say it before, but...
00:52:29I'm not afraid now.
00:52:31So...
00:52:31I'm sorry, but it's over.
00:52:35So our relationship was a lie?
00:52:45Rose.
00:52:46Shh, no, Angie.
00:52:47No, I can explain.
00:52:49I want you to be my girlfriend.
00:52:51Dude, she doesn't want you here.
00:52:52Okay, why don't you just go home?
00:52:54Who the fuck are you, tall boy?
00:52:55Guys, please.
00:52:56Have her tight.
00:52:57Jeez, look at this sweater.
00:52:58Are you getting set at a garage sale?
00:52:59What are you, a Formula One racer?
00:53:00What are you talking about?
00:53:02What the fuck?
00:53:02You're talking about what I'm wearing.
00:53:03You're a fist, bitch.
00:53:04Get the fuck off of him.
00:53:06Hannah, Hannah, stop.
00:53:07You're going to make things worse.
00:53:08Yeah, you tell her, babe.
00:53:10I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
00:53:11You just fucking punched him.
00:53:12What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:53:13I don't do drama.
00:53:16I'll wait for you in the car.
00:53:21Oh, my God.
00:53:22Oh, my God.
00:53:23Are you okay?
00:53:24Yeah, no, it's fine.
00:53:25It's just my face.
00:53:26Oh, so now you give a shit?
00:53:28Well, take it easy, all right?
00:53:29She was telling him to leave.
00:53:30They're not together.
00:53:33Right?
00:53:34I just need him for prom.
00:53:36Are you serious?
00:53:37Jacob.
00:53:38No, it's...
00:53:38Don't fucking start, Hannah.
00:53:43No, it's just...
00:53:43It's so predictable.
00:53:46Of course you were going to get back together with him.
00:53:48Of course.
00:53:49Well, I'm not going to apologize for having the confidence to go after what I want.
00:53:52You know, I hate to break it to you, Jess, but it's not confidence.
00:53:55It's desperation.
00:53:57Desperation?
00:53:58You want to talk about desperation?
00:54:00You're a lesbian who dated a fucking dude for a year.
00:54:02Yeah, Jess, but at least I didn't treat you like dog shit in the process.
00:54:06No, I guess just Greg.
00:54:08Babe, wrap it up so I can get Taco Bell.
00:54:10I'm about to hit my fasting window.
00:54:12Tacos and some lovin'.
00:54:14You're really going to let him talk to you like that?
00:54:17Just so you have a fucking date tomorrow?
00:54:20You're pathetic.
00:54:21And, you know, the really sad part is that you know he doesn't care about you,
00:54:25and you still choose him.
00:54:27Because you're so fucking insecure.
00:54:31You'd do anything to make people like you.
00:54:34Well, sorry that I'd rather have one perfect night than stay an unfuckable reject like you.
00:54:40Oh, God.
00:54:44You know what?
00:54:45I'm tired of you assuming you can just treat me however you want,
00:54:56because you know I'll always be there for you.
00:54:59Have fun at prom with Luca.
00:55:01I'm done.
00:55:04Hannah!
00:55:05Hannah!
00:55:05Oh, God.
00:55:24Last night was fucked, I...
00:55:54Holy shit.
00:56:00Good afternoon, Hannah.
00:56:02How'd you get in here?
00:56:03Your mom let us in.
00:56:05She gave me a cookie.
00:56:07The last cookie she'll ever give me.
00:56:10Us?
00:56:12Sup?
00:56:13I assume you know my date, Melissa, from the softball team.
00:56:17Hi.
00:56:18Melissa and I have been having a wonderful time so far.
00:56:20She helped me get my frisbee from the top of the garage.
00:56:22She helped me dunk my first basketball, lift me up by the shoulders, put it right in there.
00:56:28Felt like Shaq.
00:56:30I just can't seem to remember you doing anything like that.
00:56:33Okay, um, can I talk to you alone for a minute, please?
00:56:44Um, when you told my mom we broke up, you didn't, like, tell her I was gay, right?
00:56:52Of course not.
00:56:55Hannah, I'm heartbroken.
00:56:57I'm not a monster.
00:56:58I just came to pick up my car.
00:57:01I left it here last night when I went looking for you.
00:57:04I'm really sorry, Greg.
00:57:08Did you know the whole time we were dating?
00:57:11Yeah, pretty much.
00:57:16I just can't believe it.
00:57:18All those weekends watching Rachel and Finn sing their hearts out meant nothing to you.
00:57:22You're super fun to hang out with, but, like, I can't change who I am.
00:57:28Do you think I'm upset that you're gay?
00:57:31Yes.
00:57:32Hannah, I'm upset because you pretended to be in love with me.
00:57:37My entire senior year revolved around you, and you were just using me.
00:57:46If you had just told me, I would have pretended to be your boyfriend.
00:57:50Or if you didn't have the guts to do that, you should have dumped me.
00:57:56You could have at least been a decent friend.
00:57:58Just so you know, I transferred back to Stanford, so you don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore.
00:58:19No!
00:58:19No!
00:58:20No!
00:58:21Oh!
00:58:39Woo!
00:58:4165, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60!
00:58:47Oh, what?
00:58:49Oh, that's a full hit, baby!
00:58:51That's a new record, let's go!
00:58:53Woo!
00:58:55That's it, that's it!
00:58:57Alright, you're next.
00:58:59Yeah, thank you, thank you.
00:59:01What's up, man?
00:59:03Yo, let's do it, let's do it.
00:59:05Let's go!
00:59:07What's up, sourpuss?
00:59:11Want some bubbly?
00:59:13No.
00:59:15Okay, more for me.
00:59:17You know, I kinda wish we were going straight to the after party, if you know what I mean.
00:59:27I use the condom, what you mean, so we don't have to.
00:59:31What?
00:59:33You should be amped.
00:59:34It smells great down there.
00:59:35Okay.
00:59:36Oh, I know.
00:59:37You do, you wanna meet my parents.
00:59:38Yeah.
00:59:39Alright, let me go find my mom.
00:59:41Mom!
00:59:42Come see, Jess, you slut!
00:59:43Hey, sorry to bother you, would you mind taking a picture of us?
00:59:46What?
00:59:48You should be amped.
00:59:50It smells great down there.
00:59:52Okay.
00:59:53Oh, I know.
00:59:54Do you want to meet my parents?
00:59:57Yeah.
00:59:59Alright.
01:00:01Let me go find my mom.
01:00:03Mom!
01:00:05Coming Jess, you slut!
01:00:07Hey, sorry to bother you.
01:00:09Would you mind taking a picture of us?
01:00:11Kira's absolutely beefing the self-timer.
01:00:13It's not me, you bitch.
01:00:14It's Jordan's janky android.
01:00:15Just use yours.
01:00:16Please?
01:00:17No.
01:00:18I share an iCloud account with my parents and I know one of you is going to flash tick.
01:00:20I can just take it on my phone and airdrop it.
01:00:22Perfect.
01:00:23Yeah.
01:00:29Guess Ann and Karma are missing out on my nips again this year.
01:00:42I got it.
01:00:43You're an angel.
01:00:44Come take a picture with us.
01:00:45Hannah too, obviously.
01:00:46Oh, yeah.
01:00:47Go get her.
01:00:48Um...
01:00:49No, yeah.
01:00:50Actually, I'm going to go pick her up.
01:00:51But we'll meet you guys at prom and you look really cute by the way.
01:00:54You too.
01:00:55See you there.
01:00:59Time to meet my slampies.
01:01:01Yes?
01:01:02The number you dialed is not in service.
01:01:11Fucking fountain phone.
01:01:1627 minutes.
01:01:17Go.
01:01:18You'll see I only get a look in place.
01:01:19Let's go.
01:01:20You're right.
01:01:21You can be here.
01:01:22I'm going to mess with my friends.
01:01:23I am good.
01:01:24Yeah, I'm good.
01:01:25I live.
01:01:26I'm not alright, but I might be fine.
01:01:27I'm not good.
01:01:29I'm not alright.
01:01:30Home?
01:01:48Home?
01:01:57Hannah!
01:01:58I'm a fucking idiot!
01:02:00Okay?
01:02:00You were right!
01:02:01I was putting dudes ahead of you, which literally makes no sense because nothing could compare
01:02:06to our friendship!
01:02:07I won't go to prom without you!
01:02:11Hey!
01:02:13She's not here.
01:02:14Jacob.
01:02:27It's all you, doggy.
01:02:28Lucy.
01:02:29Oh!
01:02:30Oh, Lucy!
01:02:30Oh, hi!
01:02:31I can't do it!
01:02:32I can't do it!
01:02:33I can't do it!
01:02:34I can't do it!
01:02:35I can't do it!
01:02:37Oh, Lucy! Oh, hi!
01:02:39Yes, you're old!
01:02:41Yes, you're old!
01:02:43Yes, you're old!
01:02:45Yes, you're old!
01:02:47Yes, I love you!
01:02:49I love you!
01:02:57Is it hard?
01:02:59Uh, yeah, I mean, probably
01:03:01about as much as a trophy to the head.
01:03:03I'm so sorry.
01:03:05For everything.
01:03:07You've been so great, and I just keep
01:03:09fucking it up.
01:03:11This might be my head injury talking,
01:03:13but...
01:03:15I still like you.
01:03:17I like you, too.
01:03:19But we probably
01:03:21shouldn't do this right now.
01:03:23Right. Yeah, no, you gotta figure
01:03:25things out with Hannah first.
01:03:27Yeah, and...
01:03:29I, um...
01:03:31I should really just focus on myself
01:03:33a little bit.
01:03:35Make sure I'm dating for the right reasons.
01:03:37Self-awareness.
01:03:39Gross.
01:03:41Like, I don't expect you
01:03:43to wait for me or anything.
01:03:45But when I'm ready,
01:03:47you'll be the first person I call.
01:03:49Deal.
01:03:51No, it's probably for the best that we don't start dating now.
01:04:03I lent Hannah my tux for prom,
01:04:05so if you'd asked me, it would've just been...
01:04:07this.
01:04:08Wait, Hannah went to prom?
01:04:09Yeah, she said something about meeting up
01:04:11with the drama club.
01:04:12What...
01:04:13Did you steal Luca's car?
01:04:15Yes, I did.
01:04:17God, that's hot.
01:04:19Oh, God, that's hot.
01:04:31Walked in the room
01:04:33I couldn't look away
01:04:35Stopped me dead
01:04:37without electric gaze
01:04:39Something so comforting
01:04:41about your face
01:04:43I don't know how well we might be the same
01:04:47If I expected I would feel this way
01:04:51I'd keep my head down, take it day by day
01:04:55I'd turn those feelings off so long ago
01:04:59Oh, my God, hurry up, we're so late!
01:05:01I only thought it'd be impossible
01:05:03But you could kiss me right now
01:05:06Hey!
01:05:07Hey!
01:05:08Where's Jess?
01:05:09How should I know, Hanky?
01:05:13We're all set up backstage, ready?
01:05:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, Grace
01:05:30Hey, ho!
01:05:31Hey, everybody, hold up one second, hold up, stop dancing
01:05:33All right, we're gonna take a quick break from the tunes
01:05:35because the student fire marshal is here
01:05:37to give us a brief safety announcement, okay?
01:05:40It's very important
01:05:41And then after that, you can believe
01:05:43that DJ Tony Turnpike
01:05:45is gonna be back with the noise
01:05:47The noise and the boys
01:05:50You understand?
01:05:51That's all slang for...
01:05:52I actually don't know what it's for
01:05:54Here you go, Hannah, you go ahead
01:05:56Okay, please
01:05:57I'll leave you with this
01:05:58Pushed it down the ladder
01:06:00Oh, Lord!
01:06:02Check that out
01:06:03Hello
01:06:12Everybody in my grade
01:06:14I'm sorry to say that I am not up here to provide safety information
01:06:18As the title student fire marshal is completely made up
01:06:23Oh!
01:06:24Student fire marshal's not real?
01:06:26I was the student fire marshal
01:06:29Okay, thank you
01:06:30I'm actually up here tonight because
01:06:33I owe someone an apology
01:06:36This person is never anything less than himself
01:06:39And taught me that I shouldn't be either
01:06:42So
01:06:47I have something I need to say
01:06:52I'm a lesbian
01:06:55And
01:06:56Even though it's like
01:06:58Really scary to admit
01:07:00It
01:07:01Feels way better than continuing to pretend
01:07:03I'm something I'm not
01:07:05Why are we clapping?
01:07:17Shhh
01:07:18Now
01:07:19I'm not as good a performer as he is
01:07:21But his love language is grand gestures
01:07:24So
01:07:28Greg
01:07:29Our relationship might be over
01:07:31But I hope we can stay friends forever
01:07:34I love you buddy
01:07:38G
01:07:39Is
01:07:40For a guy
01:07:41Who loves
01:07:42His
01:07:43Glee
01:07:44R
01:07:45Is
01:07:46Cause
01:07:47A ray of sun
01:07:48Is he
01:07:49Guys
01:07:50I'm Greg
01:07:51She's singing about me
01:07:52Very
01:07:53Very
01:07:54Extraordinary
01:07:56G
01:07:57Even more of that special Greg that we adore
01:08:02Hey
01:08:04Shut the fuck up
01:08:05Hey
01:08:06Where have you been?
01:08:07What Hannah's doing is braver than anything you've ever done in your entire life
01:08:10Hey chill
01:08:11I was just kidding
01:08:12I didn't think that you two were friends anymore anyway
01:08:14Yeah well you were wrong
01:08:15She's my best friend
01:08:16I'm just gonna be honest
01:08:17You're kinda being a super mega bitch right now
01:08:19We're done
01:08:20So you're gonna spend prom alone?
01:08:21Greg
01:08:22I'm not alone I have her
01:08:23I hate swag
01:08:24Have fun with Dykey D
01:08:25Greg
01:08:26Always been right there for me
01:08:28It's true
01:08:29Greg
01:08:30Oh
01:08:31Thank you fire marshal
01:08:32Thank you so much
01:08:33Very interesting announcement
01:08:34That got a little bit weird folks in here
01:08:36So let's go
01:08:37Let's go
01:08:38Let's go
01:08:39Let's go
01:08:40Let's go
01:08:41Let's go
01:08:42Let's go
01:08:43Let's go
01:08:44Let's go
01:08:45Let's go
01:08:46Let's go
01:08:47Let's go
01:08:48Let's go
01:08:49Let's go
01:08:50Let's go
01:08:51Very interesting announcement
01:08:52That got a little bit weird folks in here
01:08:54So let's move right on to the love
01:08:56With the first slow dance of the evening
01:08:59If you touch anything that seems to be changing size
01:09:02Just take your hand right off it okay?
01:09:06The most important part about the pact
01:09:08Is that this is our night
01:09:10It would be nothing without you
01:09:13I love you
01:09:14I love you too
01:09:17May I have this dance?
01:09:22Oh I'd love nothing more
01:09:30I'm sorry for what I said
01:09:32I was projecting and it was wrong
01:09:35It's okay
01:09:36I probably shouldn't have freaked out about you and Jacob
01:09:39If you guys really like each other
01:09:43I'm nothing but happy for you
01:09:45Thanks hands
01:09:46But I am gonna take a break from serious relationships right now
01:09:51Does that mean you're breaking up with me?
01:09:53Oh no we are more than serious bitch
01:09:56We are terminal
01:09:57You are never getting rid of me
01:09:59Ever
01:10:00Good
01:10:06I'm gonna go get a drink
01:10:09Wait
01:10:10Did you?
01:10:11Maybe
01:10:12Hannah
01:10:13Yeah
01:10:14I'm fuckable reject too
01:10:15Oh god
01:10:16Yeah okay
01:10:17Um
01:10:18Sorry
01:10:19Again
01:10:20Yeah it was actually the greatest thing to ever happen
01:10:21Like
01:10:22She
01:10:23Came on
01:10:24To me
01:10:25As well she should
01:10:26Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
01:10:27Okay
01:10:28Alright
01:10:29Well I'm gonna I'm gonna get out of your way
01:10:30Mmhmm
01:10:31I love you
01:10:32Gong
01:10:39I love you
01:10:40I love you
01:10:41Ok
01:10:42Aw
01:10:43That's quite a show
01:10:45it's fun
01:10:46It's fun
01:10:47Quite a show.
01:10:50Yeah, if you don't want your back, I'm going to start stealing your gigs.
01:10:55I'm really sorry I dragged you into my shit.
01:11:01It wasn't right.
01:11:03But I wasn't lying when I said hanging out with you was the best night of my life.
01:11:08So now that everything's just out in the open, I just feel like there's one thing left to ask.
01:11:17Will you be my girlfriend?
01:11:20Uh, I don't think so.
01:11:24We like hooked up once.
01:11:26Yeah, no, I just, I'm, I mean, we were so connected.
01:11:30Yeah.
01:11:31I mean, look, I think you're great and obviously I'm attracted to you, but it's like you just came out to like the whole school in a musical number.
01:11:42Hmm.
01:11:43Just feel like you have a few things to sort out identity wise.
01:11:47Yeah, yeah.
01:11:48No, that, that, that like fully makes sense.
01:11:50Yeah, for sure.
01:11:51Do you have any queer friends?
01:11:53Well, if it's not too awkward, I'd love to be your first.
01:12:01Yeah, sure.
01:12:03Is it normal for lesbians to be friends with the people they've hooked up with?
01:12:08You have so much to learn.
01:12:13I know.
01:12:14Do you mind if I cut in?
01:12:22No, it's cool.
01:12:24Great.
01:12:25Um, great moves up there.
01:12:27Yeah.
01:12:28How's your night going?
01:12:29Really good.
01:12:30Um, but Greg, I actually have something to tell you.
01:12:35I only helped with your promposal because I wanted to spend time with you.
01:12:40And when I learned your top choice for college was Stanford, that's the only place I applied.
01:12:45One time after gym class, I even snuck into the shower you used and collected some of your hair.
01:12:51I keep it in my locket and every so often I sniff it for good luck.
01:12:59I'm in love with you, Greg.
01:13:01You were the best banana.
01:13:03I love you too.
01:13:05I think.
01:13:08Okay.
01:13:09Okay, Greg.
01:13:10Wow.
01:13:11That's happening right now.
01:13:12Wow.
01:13:13Awesome for them.
01:13:14I'm so scared.
01:13:15Hey, how did it go with Angie?
01:13:18It's pretty bad.
01:13:19Oh no, I'm sorry.
01:13:20Are you okay?
01:13:21Yeah.
01:13:22We're going to be friends.
01:13:24That's good.
01:13:28Prom kind of-
01:13:29Sucks.
01:13:30Right?
01:13:31Yeah, exactly.
01:13:32Yeah.
01:13:33Um, wanna get out of here?
01:13:34Fuck yeah.
01:13:37What were you thinking?
01:13:38Maps?
01:13:39Say it ain't so?
01:13:40Mmm.
01:13:42Definitely both classics, but I want something harder.
01:13:45Mmm.
01:13:46Fuck.
01:13:47What?
01:13:48I want to take prom pics.
01:13:49Give me your phone.
01:13:50Come back.
01:13:59Done.
01:14:04Mmm.
01:14:05Bitch, pay attention.
01:14:06It's starting.
01:14:07Okay, are you ready?
01:14:08Fuck yeah.
01:14:09Alright.
01:14:10One, two, three.
01:14:11One, two, three.
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