- 3 months ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:30It's amazing how filthy your room is when you are such an impressive vacuum.
00:00:42Good one.
00:00:43I ran into Jackie yesterday.
00:00:48Your friend Johnny, he sold her seaside apartment in under a week.
00:00:52He's not my friend.
00:00:53You know, he moved out of his parents' house when he graduated.
00:00:57Maybe he could be your mentor?
00:00:58I'm older than him.
00:00:59Exactly.
00:01:00You know what would make your flyer pop?
00:01:05I don't need a catchphrase.
00:01:06It's working for Johnny.
00:01:08Available eight days a week, starting today.
00:01:10You know, that actually defies 8,000 years of human history, but thank you.
00:01:14I hear he has a lovely girlfriend, too.
00:01:18An Italian.
00:01:19You need something to separate yourself from all the other schmoes out there.
00:01:23Something so people know they can trust you.
00:01:26Let's hear it.
00:01:28I'll treat your place like it's my own.
00:01:34Just don't show them your bedroom.
00:01:36Ma, I love you, but I do not need a catchphrase.
00:01:41Okay?
00:01:42I'm an adult.
00:01:44Can I borrow the car?
00:01:49This is at Ditmar's Boulevard bound, Annet Train.
00:01:56The next stop is Astoria Boulevard.
00:02:00What the fuck?
00:02:21Hello?
00:02:22Hello?
00:02:23Hello?
00:02:24Hello?
00:02:25Unbelievable.
00:02:26Hey, this is Ian Jensen.
00:02:49We have an open house today.
00:02:51It's in 10 minutes.
00:02:55Call me.
00:02:56Oh, fuck.
00:03:24Oh, come on.
00:03:25Oh, God.
00:03:26Hi!
00:03:27Here, Ian Jensen.
00:03:29Hey, let me show you around.
00:03:31This is the living room.
00:03:32As you can see, there's ample room for a couch and, uh, is there a room?
00:03:39You know what?
00:03:40I really want to show you the bedroom.
00:03:41Come on.
00:03:42Sorry about the mess.
00:03:43Uh, I was just finishing tidying up.
00:03:44Uh, as you can see, the bedroom is spacious.
00:03:46Uh, it has a lot of room for-
00:03:47Whoa!
00:03:48Uh, dude, what the fuck, dude?
00:03:49Don't what the fuck me, man.
00:03:50Where have you been?
00:03:51I've been right here, man.
00:03:52I've been right here, man.
00:03:53Yeah, I can see that.
00:03:54But we have the open house.
00:03:55Hey, thanks for the tour, but this is not the apartment I'm looking for.
00:03:57Dude, my battery must have died.
00:03:58I'm sorry, man.
00:03:59I'm sorry, man.
00:04:00Uh, I don't know.
00:04:01I want to show you the bedroom.
00:04:02Come on.
00:04:03Sorry about the mess.
00:04:04Uh, I was just finishing tidying up.
00:04:05Uh, as you can see, the bedroom is-is spacious.
00:04:06It, uh, it has a lot of, uh, room for-
00:04:08Whoa!
00:04:09Ugh!
00:04:10Dude, what the fuck, dude?
00:04:11Don't what the fuck me, man.
00:04:12Where have you been?
00:04:13I've been right here, man.
00:04:16Yeah, I can see that.
00:04:17But we have the open house.
00:04:18Hey.
00:04:19Thanks for the tour, but this is not the apartment I'm looking for.
00:04:22Dude, my battery must have died.
00:04:24I'm sorry, man.
00:04:25But we're in luck yeah, why is that my roommate must have cleaned the apartment
00:04:55Hi, welcome. Please take a look around. There's a sign in sheet right there. If you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them.
00:05:05The place is newly refurnished, right by the NQR. Great schools. Any questions?
00:05:16No, no, no. I live in building. Come to see layout. My apartment bigger.
00:05:21Oh, okay. Well, hey, if you know anybody that might be interested, please take a flyer.
00:05:26Too small.
00:05:27Okay. Well, thank you for coming.
00:05:34Hey, welcome. If you have any qu- Johnny?
00:05:37Well, if it isn't Ian J.
00:05:40What are you doing here?
00:05:41This is an open house, correct? I have a client. Hey, take a look around while I catch up with my old friend here.
00:05:48What? So you're gonna try to steal this listing from me too?
00:05:52Buddy, let it go. They reached out to me. Besides, I would not associate myself with this apartment.
00:05:59Oh, well, seems to be good enough for your client.
00:06:01It's not. We're heading to that new development over on Steinway. He had to take a shit, so.
00:06:06Aw, come on.
00:06:07Hey, but check this out. Girlfriend's birthday last night. Shit got crazy.
00:06:13Cheese Italian?
00:06:16Still with Atlas, I see.
00:06:19Shall I send you regards?
00:06:21You can let them know that I am crushing it.
00:06:24See, a real estate entrepreneur like myself really needs to be their own boss.
00:06:29You might enjoy being a wacky for an outdated corporation.
00:06:33But that changes.
00:06:35Give me a call.
00:06:37There's room for one more in this wolf bag.
00:06:41Hey, we should get going.
00:06:48I think you're out of toilet paper.
00:06:50Oh.
00:07:07I mean, Williamsburg people are my people. Like, they're educated or just super smart.
00:07:22I'm not elitist, but they, like, care about the arts and what's going on in the world, which basically nobody else is doing.
00:07:28I just feel like if you don't live in Williamsburg and you're able to, then you're just probably not really a good person.
00:07:35Right, yeah. I pride myself on being a good person.
00:07:38Are you into the arts? Like, who do you support?
00:07:40Yeah, I, I mean, I saw the most recent Transformers movie knowing it wouldn't be very good.
00:07:46Like, I just went to this art exhibit. It was brilliant. Just brilliant. It was in Chelsea. So worth it. Tickets were like $200 or something like that.
00:07:55Yeah. I got comped. But, like, almost everyone else paid.
00:07:58Huh.
00:07:59And guess what was inside?
00:08:00Art.
00:08:01Dirt. Three massive piles of dirt. But not just any dirt. Like, one was collected from Syria, another from Afghanistan, and the third from an African country where there's a war going on.
00:08:11Wow. What, uh, what country was it?
00:08:14I don't remember. It was an open bar. But, like, what a message, right?
00:08:17Yeah.
00:08:18Like, things are really bad there, and I'm just glad I could do my part to be a part of the solution.
00:08:23Nice.
00:08:24So, what was it, like, a fundraiser? I mean, what do they do with the money?
00:08:28They opened a studio in Bushwick. I mean, just think of all they can do to get the message out now that they have their own space.
00:08:34Yeah, totally.
00:08:35Your profile didn't mention where you live.
00:08:37Oh. Um, you know, I live, I live pretty nearby.
00:08:42It's okay, you can finish your bite. I'm gonna head to the ladies' room.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46Woohoo! Things are going well. You gonna lie about where you live or ask mommy if you can have a sleepover?
00:08:59I do not want to talk to you right now.
00:09:01Now, Ian, I did not raise you to be a liar. She's gonna like you for who you are. So why don't you invite her over for Lasagna Thursday?
00:09:09All I'm saying is I absolutely need my own place because things at night get freaky.
00:09:15Hey, keep it to yourself, Johnny.
00:09:17Anal.
00:09:18I told you I don't want to hear it.
00:09:20What? I didn't say anything.
00:09:21Yeah, you did. You said anal.
00:09:23I won't deny things get hot on occasion. Look, all I'm saying is you may want to keep the living situation close to the peruvial chest.
00:09:32Whatever. I prefer the honest route.
00:09:35That's my boy.
00:09:36Yeah, that route pulling in the tail. Your calendar filled up. Who was the last lucky lady anyway?
00:09:43Amy.
00:09:44I've always liked Amy.
00:09:46You've stayed in touch with Amy since graduation?
00:09:49No. I haven't.
00:09:51My work here is done.
00:09:55Okay. What do I have to do?
00:09:57Open your binder to that place on Warhammer.
00:10:02There. The owners don't get back until Monday.
00:10:05It is right down the street.
00:10:07Listen, brother. It is not your fault that you were born to some family in New Jersey destined to be sounds intercourse for the next five years.
00:10:14I'm not gonna be living there for five years.
00:10:16I was being optimistic, buddy.
00:10:18Luckily for you, that terrace will do all of the heavy lifting.
00:10:22Oh, Ian, what a gorgeous terrace. This view is amazing.
00:10:28And it's so private.
00:10:30Nobody can see what you're doing.
00:10:33I wanna suck your...
00:10:35What's that?
00:10:36Nothing. Nothing. All this? This is just papers from work. I got some open houses lined up next week.
00:10:42So, when am I gonna see you on Million Dollar Listing?
00:10:45Ah, well, my agent is in talks with the producers right now, so...
00:10:48I love that show. There was an apartment in Tribeca where I considered, like, throwing myself at the buyer just to get up there.
00:10:54Huh.
00:10:55Just kidding. He was married.
00:10:56Huh.
00:10:57But he had a terrace the size of my bedroom.
00:11:00Oh. Well, actually, uh, I live on Lorimer, which is right here. And, uh, I got a terrace. Yeah.
00:11:10You know, I'm glad I didn't include it on my dating profile or else I wouldn't know if this date was for me or my apartment.
00:11:16You live on Lorimer. Mm-hmm.
00:11:18Very cool.
00:11:19Oh, thank you.
00:11:20Do you ever go out on your terrace and look at the other 8 million people in the world and just think how nice it would be with less people?
00:11:28Every day? Yeah, I just... Imagine if the city only had, like, 1 million people. I mean, the subways would actually be on time for once.
00:11:37And it would trip my morning line for coffee.
00:11:39Mm-hmm. Yeah. All lines. You know what? No lines would exist. It would be fantastic. It would be like an urban utopia.
00:11:44Every time I see a light go on in the distance, I say to myself, that's the asshole that's gonna get to SoulCycle before me and take the last bike in the front row and ruin my day.
00:11:52Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:11:54So, what do you say we wrap this up and get a drink in my place? We can hang out on my terrace and curse these people that are clogging up the city.
00:12:08Yeah.
00:12:12Okay, you can open your eyes.
00:12:14Oh, wow. This place could be a million dollar listing.
00:12:17Thank you. I got lucky finding it.
00:12:20Yeah.
00:12:22You want to go see the terrace?
00:12:24Yes, I do.
00:12:25All right.
00:12:33Oh, my God. What a gorgeous terrace. This view is amazing.
00:12:37Thank you very much.
00:12:38And it's so private.
00:12:40Mm-hmm.
00:12:41No one can really see what you're doing.
00:12:44I wanna...
00:12:45I wanna take a picture.
00:12:48Oh, oh, the view. Yeah, sure. I don't mind.
00:12:51Yeah, do it. Um...
00:12:52I'm gonna go pop this baby open.
00:12:54Okay.
00:12:55And I'll get us some glasses.
00:12:56Great.
00:12:57All right.
00:12:58Yeah.
00:13:11Hey, what's funny?
00:13:15Oh, just my friend being an idiot and offered to sign a rescue party.
00:13:19Huh?
00:13:20Well, I hope you told the party to stand down.
00:13:23They're awaiting further instruction.
00:13:25All right.
00:13:27Why don't you tell them to come by, and I think I can win them over.
00:13:30And give up some of our champagne? I'd rather make the wrong decision.
00:13:41Oh, home sweet home.
00:13:57Oh, look, your mom sent me another card.
00:14:00Some holiday I don't know about.
00:14:04It's a thank you card.
00:14:06For my thank you card.
00:14:08Does it ever end?
00:14:09Mm-mm.
00:14:18Did you have someone over here?
00:14:21No.
00:14:22You mean you drank this bottle all by yourself?
00:14:25No.
00:14:26Who is he?
00:14:27No, I mean I've never seen that bottle before.
00:14:29Oh, the champagne fairy strikes again.
00:14:33You mean you're not prepared to tell me about your other boyfriend?
00:14:36Who is in our bed?
00:14:40And he's bi.
00:14:42Hi, sorry. He didn't tell me he had a roommate.
00:14:45Ian, wake up.
00:14:46Ian?
00:14:47Who's Ian?
00:14:48It's our realtor. Oh my God.
00:14:49What's our realtor doing in our bed?
00:14:51That's not your bed, Ian. That's our bed.
00:14:53I'm really sorry. Listen, I just, I didn't think you were going to be back for a week.
00:14:57You don't live here?
00:14:59Um, not exactly.
00:15:00Where do you live?
00:15:01Listen, uh, let me just talk to them real quick.
00:15:03Hey, hey, hey, listen, I'm sorry.
00:15:04I just, I invited her over just to show her the terrace and we had a drink and, you know, one thing led to another, okay?
00:15:09Is it Bushwick? Do you live in Bushwick? I mean, maybe that could work.
00:15:12I think I want my keys back.
00:15:13And our bed.
00:15:14I'm sorry. Look, I really messed up. I did. Just, please, don't take the listing from me.
00:15:17Is it Queens?
00:15:18Do you live in Queens?
00:15:19Do you live in Queens? I heard things are kind of cool there now.
00:15:21You heard right, darling.
00:15:22No, no, no, no. This is, this is not consensual. You can't just bring girls back to my apartment.
00:15:27No, I know. Just give me a week, alright?
00:15:28Where do you live?
00:15:29I live in New Jersey!
00:15:33With my parents.
00:15:34Oh, hell no.
00:15:35I know, I know. I, I...
00:15:37I mean, it's big. It looks like I have my own apartment.
00:15:39The size of your apartment should be the least of your worries.
00:15:42I faked my orgasm.
00:15:45Both of them?
00:15:46Yes.
00:15:47Oh, there, there. Drink this. This will make you feel better.
00:15:59Sometimes I wish I could fake an orgasm.
00:16:01As if.
00:16:03So Brandon and I were talking, and we agreed that you can keep the listing.
00:16:08You mean it?
00:16:10Hey, everybody makes mistakes, right?
00:16:11Oh, my God.
00:16:12Like dating women, for one.
00:16:13Oh!
00:16:14Thank you so, so much.
00:16:16Listen, I, I promise I will, I will treat this place like it's my own.
00:16:19Uh, no, no, actually don't do, don't do that.
00:16:23Oh, no, no, no, that's not what I meant. That, that's just, that's my slogan.
00:16:26No, but you need to get a new one.
00:16:27Seriously.
00:16:28Yeah.
00:16:29I promise to not have sex in your bed.
00:16:32That works.
00:16:34Ah.
00:16:35Ah, ah, ah.
00:16:54Good morning.
00:16:56How did Poochie sleep?
00:17:02Sorry about last night.
00:17:07You passed out in under five seconds.
00:17:11But I have plenty of energy now.
00:17:16Oh, the romance!
00:17:26Not again!
00:17:28That Scottish idolizing bastard!
00:17:31Want some music?
00:17:33It won't work.
00:17:34Bagpipes operate on an unstoppable frequency.
00:17:47How's the day looking?
00:17:49Oh, I shouldn't be too late.
00:17:51I want to remake my new creation a bit.
00:17:54Yeah, some kind of eclair, right?
00:17:58It's as if a croissant and an eclair had a baby, but with lighter cream.
00:18:04Well, if it's half as popular as the cronut, we can buy this place and I can be your assistant.
00:18:10We've tried that. You don't follow directions.
00:18:13That measuring cup was in Spanish.
00:18:17But I can design a website to handle all your international orders.
00:18:22What? So no line of people forming at 6am?
00:18:26People will love you for it. You can declare it the anti-cronut.
00:18:31I was thinking crew Claire.
00:18:35Fluffy eclair.
00:18:37Not quite. It's missing something.
00:18:41Fluffy nuggets.
00:18:42I don't think we need the word fluffy in the title.
00:18:46Fluffy will sell. Trust me.
00:18:49Hi Sean. Hi Samantha.
00:18:51Do you have a minute?
00:18:52Ah, you stay. I'm a bit late.
00:18:54I'm gonna see you tonight though, and maybe I'll have a fluffy sweet robe waiting for you.
00:19:01Hey man. What's up?
00:19:03The new cameras are installed. That one's high definition. Keeps an eye on the mailboxes.
00:19:10Cool. I'll be sure to get my best behavior in a walkthrough.
00:19:14The reason why I mentioned that was because we as a board have decided that an assessment was necessary to pay for these enhancements.
00:19:22I saw the Facebook update on it. Totally on board with the board.
00:19:26Your last payment was the old amount.
00:19:30Oh, I got you. I'll update the amount tonight for sure.
00:19:34You have a package.
00:19:36Oh, nice. I'll grab it on my way back. Enjoy the day man.
00:20:22Thanks for coming up.
00:20:44Uh, you didn't grab my package.
00:20:47No.
00:20:48All I saw down there was this.
00:20:50Can you show me how to access the security camera footage?
00:20:53Sure.
00:20:54I'm pretty sure somebody grabbed it by mistake.
00:20:58I knew I should have grabbed that package.
00:21:01You know, Michelle and 2E had a package stolen last week.
00:21:04But that was before we installed the cameras.
00:21:07Anything valuable?
00:21:09Not anything too expensive.
00:21:11Not sure what their policy is on stolen packages though.
00:21:16What floor is this guy on?
00:21:19I don't know.
00:21:21You don't look familiar.
00:21:25Ha!
00:21:26There!
00:21:27What?
00:21:28Who the...
00:21:29Is he actually opening my package in the lobby?
00:21:34Veer spankin'?
00:21:35Spankin'?
00:21:40Um...
00:21:42Uh...
00:21:43Yeah...
00:21:45It was a bit of an impulse buy.
00:21:48It's actually...
00:21:49Well...
00:21:51It's a...
00:21:52It's a sex toy for men.
00:21:55For your butt?
00:21:56No, man, not for my butt.
00:21:58It's a toy that, you know, you would use to...
00:22:01Jerk off.
00:22:04It has a video.
00:22:34So...
00:22:40Uh...
00:22:41Do I need to call the police and file a report?
00:22:45I don't think they deploy a task force to recover your...
00:22:49Fan spunked.
00:22:51Versus Spankin'.
00:23:02That guy does look familiar.
00:23:04He probably lives nearby.
00:23:06Let me see that card.
00:23:15Robin Hood 2020 coming to you again.
00:23:17We got another package here.
00:23:19You know I, uh...
00:23:20Rob from the rich and give to you, all my fans and followers.
00:23:23This package is courtesy of...
00:23:25Mike Miller from 420 Bedford Avenue.
00:23:29Let's see what he got.
00:23:31Or shall I say, let's see what you get.
00:23:33Holy shit.
00:23:34This guy just steals packages and isn't made a YouTube channel about it?
00:23:39He has over 6,342,000 subscribers.
00:23:47What?
00:23:48Are you kidding?
00:23:49I don't want 6 million people knowing I ordered a sex toy.
00:23:52I need to stop this guy before he makes his next video.
00:23:56Can you zoom in on his face?
00:24:02Power of high definition.
00:24:22Hey!
00:24:46Don't touch those!
00:24:48Don't touch those!
00:25:15Hi, hon.
00:25:40Yeah, I'll be home in a minute.
00:25:45Hi, hon.
00:25:46Hi.
00:25:47These look delicious.
00:25:49Have we decided on fluffy nuggets yet?
00:25:51That's still undecided.
00:25:52You can try one.
00:25:53I've decided to explore the opinions of people who are not my boyfriend.
00:25:58I give unbiased opinions.
00:26:00Always have.
00:26:01And these?
00:26:02Did this guy steal something from us?
00:26:05Yeah, that guy stole my package and Todd was able to send me this photo from the camera
00:26:10feed in the lobby.
00:26:11Taking matters into your own hands, I see.
00:26:16Seems the police won't investigate theft below $100, so I inserted myself into the situation.
00:26:22What got you so motivated?
00:26:25That's a funny story.
00:26:28Go on.
00:26:29Um, it's actually something called a Verspankin'.
00:26:33It's a sex toy.
00:26:38No, really?
00:26:41Well, thanks, but I'm pretty sure mine just needs new batteries, so...
00:26:46Yeah, uh, it's actually for guys.
00:26:54For your butt?
00:26:55No, it's not for my butt.
00:26:56Why does everyone think that?
00:26:57No, it's...
00:26:58Well, it's hard to explain.
00:27:00There is a video, but it's not for my butt.
00:27:02A video?
00:27:03Wait, what do you mean everyone?
00:27:06Todd was also confused about it.
00:27:09Todd, I'm glad you're so comfortable sharing, but perhaps we keep things related to our sex life to ourselves?
00:27:18Absolutely.
00:27:19It's not that I was oversharing, but he was helping me access the...
00:27:22Well, he pried it out of me.
00:27:25Maybe not the best choice of words.
00:27:27Thanks.
00:27:29I have to head to the board meeting.
00:27:30I just know that if Jennifer likes these, she'll mention it to her sister, the one with the blog.
00:27:35I eat my happiness?
00:27:36No.
00:27:37It's called Happy Eats.
00:27:39I'm just gonna grab one more before you go.
00:27:42No.
00:27:43No.
00:27:44Jennifer didn't get one last time, so this time I'm bringing one for everyone.
00:27:49But maybe if you water the plants, you won't be missing that for spent after all.
00:27:54For spankin'.
00:27:55Yeah.
00:27:56That.
00:27:57Bye.
00:28:14Coming!
00:28:16What did Poochie forget?
00:28:18Hi Evan.
00:28:19Come in.
00:28:20Thanks for coming.
00:28:21We're just waiting on Samantha to get started.
00:28:22Hi Todd.
00:28:23Well hello there.
00:28:24Hello there to you too.
00:28:25I know the last time it wasn't too…
00:28:26No.
00:28:27No.
00:28:28No.
00:28:29It was 2.
00:28:30No.
00:28:31No.
00:28:32No.
00:28:33No.
00:28:34No.
00:28:35No.
00:28:36No.
00:28:37No.
00:28:38No.
00:28:39No.
00:28:40No.
00:28:41No.
00:28:42No.
00:28:43No.
00:28:44No.
00:28:45No.
00:28:46No.
00:28:47Well, hello there.
00:28:49Hello there to you, too.
00:28:51I hope the last night wasn't too...
00:28:53No, no, it was fun.
00:28:55Um, I'm sorry I didn't stay.
00:28:57I just really love my bed,
00:28:59and it's surprisingly easy to walk home.
00:29:01Yeah, that's very true.
00:29:03I am slowly getting used to having the whole bed to myself as well, so...
00:29:07Well, it's a nice adjustment, trust me.
00:29:09Yeah.
00:29:11Hey, guys.
00:29:13I come bearing gifts.
00:29:15Splendid.
00:29:21These look good.
00:29:23Are these chocolate eclairs?
00:29:25Uh, no, it's a new creation.
00:29:27I'm thinking of calling them fluffy nuggets.
00:29:30Branding is very important.
00:29:33Mmm.
00:29:35Oh, yeah, these are very good.
00:29:37Anna?
00:29:39Oh, no, I can't.
00:29:41But Evan can have mine.
00:29:43Oh, perfect.
00:29:44I'd be happy to share the recipe on your sister's blog if you like them.
00:29:48Oh, yeah, I'll try one in just a second.
00:29:50I just want to bring the board meeting into order.
00:29:52We have a few things to cover, including...
00:29:54interviewing somebody for the new doorman position.
00:29:56That'll be good to have.
00:29:58Another package was stolen from the lobby earlier today.
00:30:00Again?
00:30:02Sean had something stolen.
00:30:04Oh, no, what was it?
00:30:06It's nothing important.
00:30:08It's just something he ordered online.
00:30:10Did the cameras pick it up?
00:30:12Yes.
00:30:13Power of high definition.
00:30:14Have you posted the picture on the building's Facebook page?
00:30:16People should be on alert in case he returns.
00:30:18Sure.
00:30:19And speaking of unsavory people in our building, I would like to raise the issue of people renting out their apartments on Airbnb.
00:30:25Who's renting out their apartments?
00:30:27Naveen and 2B for one.
00:30:29He has somebody new in there every week, and I just can't get comfortable with strangers in the building.
00:30:35Oh, that must be our guy.
00:30:42Everyone, this is Vladimir.
00:30:44You can call me Vlad.
00:30:53Thank you for coming.
00:30:54Yes.
00:30:57I see you come with a lot of experience.
00:30:59Perhaps you can start by telling us what interested you in this position.
00:31:02Being a doorman in Manhattan is a young man's game.
00:31:09Your job post mentioned a chair.
00:31:14I will happily come to Williamsburg for the occasional sitting in the chair.
00:31:24I see you worked in the Dakota in the late 70s.
00:31:27I can only imagine those stories.
00:31:29Which I will take to the grave.
00:31:31A doorman who shares his secrets is no better than...
00:31:37I'm not sure who that could possibly be.
00:31:42I'm not sure what your plans are later, but I was thinking about going out to the...
00:31:46Hey, what is she doing here?
00:31:49Hi, everyone.
00:31:50Sorry I'm late.
00:31:52Can we pause for a minute?
00:31:53Can we talk?
00:31:54You flirting with Anna already?
00:31:55That didn't take long.
00:31:56What?
00:31:57What are you doing here?
00:31:58I'm still a member of the board.
00:31:59Yeah, you moved out.
00:32:00So what?
00:32:01My name is on the mortgage and I want to protect my investment.
00:32:02I told you I would buy your half.
00:32:03Okay.
00:32:04When we finalize the price and you pay me my half, I will gladly step down.
00:32:09Sorry I'm late, everyone.
00:32:10Do you have another chair?
00:32:11We didn't think you were coming.
00:32:12Um, or else I would have grabbed another chair from the other room.
00:32:15Just wait one second.
00:32:17Excuse me.
00:32:19Would you mind sitting on this?
00:32:20It shouldn't be a long meeting.
00:32:21Okay.
00:32:22Happy to work out my core while I'm here.
00:32:24Okay.
00:32:25Sorry about that.
00:32:26We were just interviewing Vlad about the new doorman position.
00:32:28Great.
00:32:29Hello.
00:32:30Hello.
00:32:31Hello.
00:32:32Hello.
00:32:33Hello.
00:32:34Hello.
00:32:35Hello.
00:32:36Hello.
00:32:37Hello.
00:32:38Hello.
00:32:39Hello.
00:32:40Hello.
00:32:41Hello.
00:32:42Hello.
00:32:43Hello.
00:32:44Hello.
00:32:45Hello.
00:32:46Hello.
00:32:47Hello.
00:32:48Hello.
00:32:49Hello.
00:32:50Hi.
00:32:51Hey everyone.
00:32:52Hello.
00:32:53So perhaps you can tell us what you think your experience covering tip 190 Lorimer.
00:32:56I have not lost single package in 30 years.
00:33:00I remember names with a handshake and I know then to look the other way.
00:33:08I feel extra responsible for residents like parent.
00:33:15Down toilet faster than I can say to officer, what coke?
00:33:18That's sugar.
00:33:20I saved him a lot of trouble.
00:33:23There was a time I deliver baby in lobby.
00:33:27Not so common in this country, no?
00:33:31It was boy.
00:33:34Which is better than girl.
00:33:39Are you too fucking?
00:33:41What the hell, Tracy?
00:33:43Not appropriate at all.
00:33:45Yeah, Evan and I are not involved at all.
00:33:47I want Evan to tell me that.
00:33:49Go ahead.
00:33:50This is not the appropriate time to have this conversation.
00:33:54Besides, you moved out.
00:33:56I will lose my shit right now if you don't answer me.
00:34:00Just so we can move on.
00:34:01Nobody, Anna included, has slept with me.
00:34:07I just thought when I...
00:34:09Sorry about that.
00:34:11It's just been a crazy few weeks is all.
00:34:14I don't mean to be insensitive, but don't you think Evan would simply lie given the circumstances?
00:34:20He can't lie.
00:34:21Like physically, his right eyebrow twitches anytime he lies.
00:34:24I have no reason to lie!
00:34:26Now can we please move past this ridiculous scene that you were causing?
00:34:32You were saying?
00:34:35In this job you are constantly learning and growing.
00:34:40Are you trying to be slick?
00:34:41What is it now?
00:34:42You said nobody had slept with you.
00:34:44Yeah, so?
00:34:45Nice try.
00:34:46Answer me this.
00:34:47Have you and Anna had sex?
00:34:48I've already said Anna and I have not had intercourse.
00:34:53No twitch.
00:34:55Can we move on with this please?
00:34:56See what he's doing?
00:34:57He's trying to narrow his answer.
00:34:59What is it?
00:35:00You get a blow job?
00:35:01She looks like the blow job type.
00:35:03You're embarrassing yourself.
00:35:04Answer me!
00:35:05No!
00:35:06Anna has not given me a blow job.
00:35:08Seriously, this is crazy.
00:35:10Back to the interview.
00:35:12No twitch.
00:35:13As I said before, I will take all secrets with me to the grave.
00:35:19Really?
00:35:20A hand job?
00:35:21Is that it?
00:35:22That's cute.
00:35:23Tracy, you need to get a hold of yourself.
00:35:24Stop looking in my eye!
00:35:26No!
00:35:27No one has given me a hand job.
00:35:30Alright, happy?
00:35:31Now you owe Anna and everyone else in this room an apology.
00:35:35I know you're hiding something.
00:35:40Stay away from Evan.
00:35:42Are you trying to kill me?
00:35:43Oh, don't exaggerate.
00:35:44No, you know I'm lactose intolerant.
00:35:46Nobody's ever died from an eclair.
00:35:49Fluffy nugget.
00:35:50What?
00:35:51Consistent branding's important.
00:35:52You know I up a job.
00:35:53What?
00:35:54Yeah, I jerked your ex-boyfriend off with my feet.
00:35:57Happy?
00:36:01See, I knew they were up to something.
00:36:03Um, I think I better go as well.
00:36:06Vlad gets my vote.
00:36:07Does this mean I have job?
00:36:26Here you go, sir.
00:36:27You have to use a machine, miss.
00:36:29I don't know.
00:36:31This?
00:36:32Ah!
00:36:33Si, si, aspetta eh.
00:36:34Thank you!
00:36:35One second, you have to hit credit card on a TV screen here.
00:36:40No, no, I didn't understand anything.
00:36:45Sorry.
00:36:46What?
00:36:47Okay, it's right here.
00:36:48Ah.
00:36:49You hit credit.
00:36:50Ah, got it.
00:36:53Okay.
00:36:54Can I go now?
00:36:55Okay.
00:36:56Good?
00:36:57Here you go.
00:36:58Yeah!
00:36:59Thank you!
00:37:00Thank you!
00:37:01Thank you!
00:37:04What do you say?
00:37:05Do you call him?
00:37:06Yes.
00:37:07Okay.
00:37:12Yeah, we are outside.
00:37:15Okay.
00:37:16Great.
00:37:18He's coming downstairs to get us.
00:37:20It's a nice building.
00:37:21Perhaps Marco was right in choosing William's building.
00:37:23Maybe.
00:37:24Hi!
00:37:25Hi!
00:37:26Can I help you?
00:37:28We are just waiting for someone.
00:37:30Hi!
00:37:31So nice to see you again!
00:37:34Oh!
00:37:35It's been so long.
00:37:36Hey Jennifer.
00:37:37Hi.
00:37:38You're friends from Italy.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:40Well, I guess you guys got a lot to catch up on.
00:37:43Welcome to 190 Lorimer.
00:37:45Come on in.
00:37:47Hope your flight in was okay.
00:37:48Yeah.
00:37:57Sorry about that earlier.
00:37:58Jennifer is just against Airbnb so I just have to be a little smart.
00:38:03Is it a problem?
00:38:04No!
00:38:05No, no, no.
00:38:06But if anyone has to say we're friends.
00:38:07Sure, sure.
00:38:08So which one of you is Cara?
00:38:10That's me.
00:38:11Hello again.
00:38:12Hi.
00:38:13You don't look like Omar.
00:38:14No, Marco couldn't come.
00:38:15I'm Leah.
00:38:16Hi Leah.
00:38:17So this obviously is the kitchen.
00:38:19Help yourself to any food that's there.
00:38:22That is my room in there.
00:38:23And that's you guys up there.
00:38:25Nice.
00:38:26This is the key to the apartment.
00:38:28Okay.
00:38:29And the code to the gate downstairs is pound zero three nine zero.
00:38:34Pound is?
00:38:35As in hashtag?
00:38:36Oh, yeah.
00:38:37What do you guys have planned for the rest of the week?
00:38:40We're going to see everything.
00:38:41Yes.
00:38:42Uh-huh.
00:38:43First, MoMA, Highline, Chelsea Market.
00:38:46No Times Square?
00:38:47Oh.
00:38:48Oh, yeah.
00:38:49Of course.
00:38:50Stay away from Elmore.
00:38:52I would actually advise you to stay away from anyone in a costume.
00:38:55Okay.
00:38:56Yeah?
00:38:57Remember that.
00:38:58Enjoy your stay.
00:38:59Feel at home.
00:39:00Thank you so much.
00:39:01And I'm going to be gone.
00:39:02Maybe I'll catch you later.
00:39:03Okay.
00:39:04Okay.
00:39:05Ciao.
00:39:06Ciao.
00:39:07Good night.
00:39:09Thank you so much.
00:39:10Thank you so much.
00:39:11Good night.
00:39:14I'm doing my first.
00:39:15We're here.
00:39:16No, we're here.
00:39:17Oh, we're here.
00:39:18It's beautiful!
00:39:19And it's also the coolest thing.
00:39:21Beautiful.
00:39:22Yes.
00:39:23You're here.
00:39:24Yes.
00:39:25Yes.
00:39:26Did you get tired?
00:39:27You want to relax?
00:39:28No, come on.
00:39:29Let's go explore.
00:39:30A little to the right.
00:39:32No, my right.
00:39:37Perfect.
00:39:39Okay, one down.
00:39:42How many of these do we need?
00:39:44I promise five a day.
00:39:46Is Pietro getting a little old for this?
00:39:49He's five.
00:39:51Besides, he's his favorite player, Buffon,
00:39:53which also happens to be my dad's favorite player.
00:39:56You know, your dad is the one who really wants them.
00:39:59Obviously.
00:40:01Yeah.
00:40:04Let's go and see the bridge.
00:40:06Oh, it looks so pretty.
00:40:08Oh, wait.
00:40:09I'm not waiting.
00:40:11Oh, come on.
00:40:12Fine, go ahead.
00:40:13Eat your ice cream.
00:40:16This one, I take the best shot ever.
00:40:20Boom.
00:40:24Let me see.
00:40:25Marco would have loved this.
00:40:30You know, he stops at every place we pass to get a sorbet.
00:40:35Roger Turin is impressive.
00:40:37Okay, I'm instituting a no Marco Ruo.
00:40:40Sorry.
00:40:41I just thought about it.
00:40:42The ice cream is good.
00:40:43The sorbetto?
00:40:44It's quite respectable, actually.
00:40:47You wanna try it?
00:40:49Just a spoon, no?
00:40:51It's good, right?
00:40:52Not bad.
00:40:53Yeah.
00:40:54Hey, it's Ali Fair.
00:40:55Come on.
00:40:56Now I'm gonna get a double spoon because you're bad.
00:40:57Uh, I know how to cheer you up.
00:40:58What?
00:40:59Drinking and shopping.
00:41:00In that order.
00:41:01Let's try it.
00:41:02Well I need a box.
00:41:03What?
00:41:12No, I'm gonna drink that.
00:41:13The man promised me we're good.
00:41:14Yeah, right.
00:41:15You trusted him.
00:41:16I know how to cheer you up.
00:41:17Look at that guy.
00:41:18What?
00:41:19I would know how to cheer you up.
00:41:20Well I'd know how to cheer you up.
00:41:22What?
00:41:23drinking and shopping, in that order.
00:41:24Let's try it.
00:41:25Why I need a box?
00:41:26What?
00:41:27No, I'm gonna drink that.
00:41:28The man promised me you were good.
00:41:29Yeah right.
00:41:30You trusted him.
00:41:31You know what? Full glass.
00:41:38You are American and Dutch. That's right.
00:41:41Time to celebrate.
00:41:45Okay, stop.
00:41:47Wow, that's...
00:41:53Excuse me!
00:41:55Shhh! I'm gonna get us in trouble.
00:41:58Picture time!
00:42:02Ah, best picture ever.
00:42:08You know what? Let's slam it in and go shopping.
00:42:12Ugh!
00:42:20Welcome. Let me know if I can help you with anything.
00:42:23We have more sizes in the back.
00:42:25Okay, thank you.
00:42:28Great choice.
00:42:29We also have another print from that designer in the front,
00:42:31if you want me to grab it.
00:42:32Eh, no thank you.
00:42:34Ma ci posso anche lasciare il pace un minuto?
00:42:47Think I'm going to try this or not?
00:42:49It's cute.
00:42:50Psst!
00:42:51Cut!
00:42:52Cut!
00:42:53Cut!
00:42:54Cut!
00:42:55Cut!
00:42:56Cut!
00:42:57Cut!
00:42:58Cut!
00:42:59I've found nothing.
00:43:00No, nothing yet.
00:43:01Come we saw.
00:43:02Perfect.
00:43:03Confirm.
00:43:04I'll take it.
00:43:05Okay.
00:43:06You're not going to take it off?
00:43:07You're not going to take it off?
00:43:08I like these more than what I was wearing.
00:43:09Ciao!
00:43:10I'd like to buy this dress.
00:43:11Okay, great.
00:43:12I'm glad you found something you like.
00:43:13You need to take off the dress.
00:43:14Uh, maybe not.
00:43:15Oh, that's fine.
00:43:16I can bring you up.
00:43:17If you lean forward, I can remove the tag.
00:43:18I'll take it off.
00:43:19Okay.
00:43:20You're not going to take it off?
00:43:21I like these more than what I was wearing.
00:43:22Ciao!
00:43:23I'd like to buy this dress.
00:43:24Okay, great.
00:43:25I'm glad you found something you like.
00:43:26You need to take off the dress.
00:43:27Uh, maybe not.
00:43:28Oh, that's fine.
00:43:29I can ring you up.
00:43:30If you lean forward, I can remove the tag.
00:43:33Oh, that's fine.
00:43:34I can ring you up.
00:43:36If you lean forward, I can remove the tag.
00:43:42Oh, my God.
00:43:49Oh, you'll also need to come around so I can remove the security device.
00:43:53Oh, boy.
00:43:58I so want to take my phone out.
00:44:03You're all set.
00:44:04Okay.
00:44:05Here's the receipt.
00:44:07This is nice.
00:44:08Yeah.
00:44:09It's beautiful.
00:44:10I want to take a picture of you with the dress and the skyline.
00:44:12Okay.
00:44:13Go ahead.
00:44:14Okay.
00:44:15Okay.
00:44:16Let's do it properly.
00:44:17Oh, come on.
00:44:18Come on.
00:44:19Come on.
00:44:20Yeah.
00:44:21It's beautiful.
00:44:22I want to take a picture of you with the dress and the skyline.
00:44:25Okay.
00:44:26Go ahead.
00:44:27Okay?
00:44:28Let's do it properly.
00:44:29Oh, come on.
00:44:30Haven't we passed our five photo quota?
00:44:31No, one more and this time you'll hold them.
00:44:33Where did your father get these anyway?
00:44:34He didn't.
00:44:35Marco bought it.
00:44:36Marco?
00:44:37Yeah, for Pietro's birthday.
00:44:38No wonder you keep bringing him up.
00:44:39Don't be stupid.
00:44:40No, I get it now.
00:44:41This isn't about taking photos for your brother.
00:44:42This is about bringing Marco along with you.
00:44:44I don't know what you're talking about.
00:44:45Cara, every photo is a reminder.
00:44:47You can't keep taking photos of this stupid doll.
00:44:48It's not healthy.
00:44:49What the fuck, Lea?
00:44:50Who the fuck do you think you are?
00:44:51You can't go in there.
00:44:52It's the East River.
00:44:53It's the East River.
00:44:54What?
00:44:55What?
00:44:56What?
00:44:57What?
00:44:58What?
00:44:59What?
00:45:00What?
00:45:01What?
00:45:02What?
00:45:03What?
00:45:04What?
00:45:05What?
00:45:06What?
00:45:07What?
00:45:08What?
00:45:09What?
00:45:10What?
00:45:11What?
00:45:12What?
00:45:13What?
00:45:14What?
00:45:15What?
00:45:16What?
00:45:17Oh, actually.
00:45:18Ya know.
00:45:19Don't go away from there.
00:45:20No.
00:45:21eliminating.
00:45:22Cara...
00:45:23Marco's going to make things right.
00:45:25He makes you a mistake.
00:45:27One mistake, but he's going to make things right.
00:45:29Cara, look at yourself.
00:45:31You're saving a bubble egg from a river.
00:45:32He won't make things right.
00:45:34Saya told you.
00:45:35Cara...
00:45:36Stop it!
00:45:37Leave me alone!
00:45:39It ruined it.
00:45:42It's ruined.
00:45:45I'm sorry but it's a doll. It's not a doll.
00:46:15Cara, I'm so sorry. I know it is hard.
00:46:21I just miss him so much.
00:46:24You know, we've been talking about this trip for over a year.
00:46:28About how romantic it was going to be.
00:46:34You deserve better and it will happen.
00:46:37I promise.
00:46:42There is some good news out of this.
00:46:44What is it?
00:46:46The doll is no longer what Marco gave you.
00:46:49Now it's a reminder of our trip to New York.
00:46:52It's a monster.
00:46:55It's our monster.
00:46:59Thank you, Leo, for coming.
00:47:01The thought of staying in Torino, of course I came.
00:47:06Think of all the excitement we've had.
00:47:08We haven't even made it to Manato yet.
00:47:11Oh my God.
00:47:13Oh my God.
00:47:14No.
00:47:15No.
00:47:16That's not over.
00:47:17Ah.
00:47:18Ah my God.
00:47:19I love you.
00:47:21I don't know.
00:47:51Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! No!
00:48:01Hi, I locked myself out of my apartment. Do you think I can borrow your phone?
00:48:08Yeah, of course. It's probably going to take a while for a locksmith to show up.
00:48:14You want to come in? Yeah, thanks.
00:48:19I thankfully gave a spare to my friend who lives nearby. She just better pick up.
00:48:23Here, make yourself at home.
00:48:27Thank you. This is so embarrassing.
00:48:31I'm Evan, by the way.
00:48:33Oh, sorry. I wish I'd introduced myself to you and your girlfriend when I first moved in.
00:48:37That would make this a lot less awkward. Please, please, please pick up.
00:48:41I like your slippers.
00:48:43Oh, thank you. They were a gift for a friend, but once I named them, I couldn't let them go.
00:48:47This one is Oscar, and this one...
00:48:49Oh! Jenny, thank God. I'm locked out of my apartment.
00:48:53Oh, it's in my neighbor's phone.
00:48:56Um, stop laughing. I'm in my pajamas. It's not funny.
00:49:01Yeah, why?
00:49:03He has a girlfriend.
00:49:05Okay, then get dressed.
00:49:07Yes, now!
00:49:09Yes, I love you so, so, so much. Just please hurry up.
00:49:13Please, thank you. Thank you.
00:49:18So, uh, no need to be alarmed, but my girlfriend and I recently broke up.
00:49:23That's what the boxes by the door are.
00:49:26You know, my friend was just being an idiot. She has a maternity level of a squirrel.
00:49:30Do you want a sweatshirt?
00:49:33Yes, please. I know we're neighbors and all, but I don't typically go out dressed like this.
00:49:39For a fellow Dubfire fan?
00:49:42No way! You're a Dubfire fan?
00:49:44I didn't think they were known outside of Austin.
00:49:46Well, I grew up in Round Rock.
00:49:48You know they're playing at the Oasis party tonight, right?
00:49:50I know. I'm so mad I couldn't get tickets.
00:49:52Uh, is everything okay?
00:49:58Uh, yeah. No, um, my ex is coming to grab her things right now.
00:50:04I don't mean to be weird, but would you mind waiting in the bathroom?
00:50:10It's just, she has a temper and, you know, rather than explain that you got locked, it'd just be easier this way.
00:50:16I could wait in the hallway if you prefer.
00:50:18No, it's just she's already in the hallway and I just don't want her to see you leaving the apartment.
00:50:21You know, it's fine. Never mind. I'll just, I'll explain.
00:50:25No, no, it's okay. I understand. Breakups can be tricky.
00:50:28Oh, okay.
00:50:35Coming!
00:50:37Hi, Tracy. No need to come in. I box the rest of your things.
00:50:41In fact, why don't I just help you bring this down?
00:50:44Nice to see you too, actually. Can I just, um, leave the bathroom?
00:50:48Uh, no, you can't.
00:50:50What?
00:50:51Uh, I actually, I have to go first.
00:51:03So, Tracy needs to go to the bathroom? I need to hide you.
00:51:07I thought I was hiding.
00:51:08Look, if you do this for me, I'll give you my friend's ticket to the Dubfire show.
00:51:13Are you talking to yourself?
00:51:15Just saying a few mantras.
00:51:21It's all yours.
00:51:22It's all yours.
00:51:23Okay.
00:51:24Okay.
00:51:25Okay.
00:51:26Let's get this.
00:51:27I'm sorry.
00:51:28Okay.
00:51:29Okay.
00:51:30Okay.
00:51:31Okay.
00:51:32Okay.
00:51:33Okay.
00:51:34Okay.
00:51:35Okay.
00:51:36Okay.
00:51:37Okay.
00:51:38Okay.
00:51:39Okay.
00:51:40Okay.
00:51:42Okay.
00:51:43Now, what's next?
00:51:44Okay.
00:51:45Okay.
00:51:46Okay.
00:51:47I think you're out of soap.
00:52:01Uh, check under the sink.
00:52:04No, I don't see any.
00:52:05I'm just gonna use your shower gel.
00:52:17So, I've been thinking...
00:52:23What's that?
00:52:24Well, I've been talking to my therapist, and...
00:52:26We don't need to have this conversation again.
00:52:29Just hear me out, okay?
00:52:31I feel like I need to take some responsibility for all of this, and...
00:52:35Tracy, we really don't need to...
00:52:36I've reacted poorly, and I can't help but think that, you know, maybe I was to blame.
00:52:40I felt like maybe you weren't attracted to me anymore, or...
00:52:44I don't know, I just got really insecure.
00:52:46You know that's not...
00:52:49Erectile dysfunction is a really common problem, and...
00:52:54And neither of us are to blame.
00:52:57And...
00:52:58I was just thinking that, you know, maybe...
00:53:03Tracy, what are you doing?
00:53:05Well, I just...
00:53:06Was just thinking that maybe I would be willing to try that...
00:53:10Well, you know, the thing.
00:53:12No, I don't know.
00:53:14The thing with the feet.
00:53:16That's not a thing.
00:53:18I...
00:53:19That was...
00:53:20That happened one time.
00:53:21But...
00:53:22It worked with her, so I was thinking, you know, maybe it would work with us.
00:53:24Yeah, but that was not the only thing that was wrong with our relationship.
00:53:27Fuck you.
00:53:28Like your temper, for one thing.
00:53:30No, I'm Italian.
00:53:31Being 50% Italian doesn't give you the right to be 100% an asshole.
00:53:34I didn't even want to do the thing with the feet.
00:53:36I was just saying that I was willing to try it because it was something that you needed.
00:53:41That...
00:53:42That's not something I need.
00:53:44I need you to get going.
00:53:47It's all in there.
00:53:48I'm just making sure.
00:53:50Where's my Dubfire sweatshirt?
00:53:53That's...
00:53:54That's my sweatshirt.
00:53:56But I bought it, so I want it back.
00:54:00Well, I threw it out.
00:54:02Bullshit.
00:54:04No, I didn't get rid of it because I was...
00:54:07I was mad or anything.
00:54:08I just got rid of it because...
00:54:10It reminded me of how sweet you could be.
00:54:12And...
00:54:13The nice memories that we have.
00:54:16My sensitive pool bear.
00:54:18We can still make nice memories.
00:54:29Hi, I was just locked out of my apartment and I just needed to use the phone as well.
00:54:34Anna, too far away being on the second floor?
00:54:36You had to find someone across the hall to fuck?
00:54:38I'm serious.
00:54:39Tracy, this isn't what it looks like.
00:54:40How many sluts can live in one building?
00:54:43Wait, and you gave her my sweatshirt?
00:54:45Another nice memory, asshole.
00:54:48Here, here.
00:54:49You can have it.
00:54:50I just...
00:54:51I was locked out of my pajamas and Evan saw that I was a Dubfire fan.
00:54:53Oh, that's cute.
00:54:54Did you get that trying to find yourself at Burning Man?
00:54:56Tracy.
00:54:57I'm leaving.
00:54:58Don't call.
00:55:04Then we will.
00:55:05Look, I should go meet my friend.
00:55:08She'll be here any minute.
00:55:09I'm sorry for getting you in trouble.
00:55:11Let me buy you a drink at the Dubfire concert and we'll call it even.
00:55:14Deal.
00:55:15Deal.
00:55:45Deal.
00:55:46Deal.
00:55:47Deal.
00:55:48Deal.
00:55:49Deal.
00:55:50Deal.
00:55:51Deal.
00:55:52$3.
00:55:53Deal.
00:55:54Deal.
00:55:55Deal.
00:55:56Deal.
00:55:57Deal.
00:55:58Deal.
00:55:59Deal.
00:56:00Deal.
00:56:01Deal.
00:56:02No, I'm not alone.
00:56:04Do you have two?
00:56:05Yeah.
00:56:06Do you have a good time here?
00:56:07Do you have two?
00:56:08Yeah, three p.m. is perfect.
00:56:11Do you want one?
00:56:12Would you like to have a good time?
00:56:14Morning, Squirtgum.
00:56:27Mom.
00:56:29Morning, Aiden.
00:56:31Why'd you sleep?
00:56:32I didn't sleep good.
00:56:34I'm a lady here.
00:56:35You didn't sleep good or you didn't sleep well?
00:56:37How's my room?
00:56:39We just need to unpack some of your toys and you will love it here.
00:56:42I promise.
00:56:43You want some eggs?
00:56:45The sunny ones?
00:56:46Of course the sunny ones.
00:56:48Two, please.
00:56:52Go change out of your pajamas, hon.
00:57:05Hi, Blair.
00:57:06Hi, darling.
00:57:08I'm sorry I missed your call.
00:57:10Went and tried a new salon.
00:57:11Big mistake.
00:57:12My day is in turmoil.
00:57:13It's not even 10.
00:57:14Are you free for lunch?
00:57:15Oh, sorry, darling.
00:57:16I can't make it to Brooklyn today.
00:57:18I have Bikram at 11 and I got to pick up Abigail at 4, but I promise to come see your new place
00:57:23very soon.
00:57:24Well, I'm actually going to be in the city today, so I was...
00:57:27Why didn't you just say so?
00:57:28No, of course we could meet for brunch here.
00:57:30Were you thinking Daniel or Norma's?
00:57:31Well, we're just still finalizing things, so I thought maybe I'm going to place a little
00:57:37less...
00:57:37Oh, of course, of course.
00:57:39Why don't you meet me at my rental?
00:57:41I'll have Daniela cook something.
00:57:42I'll have Daniela cook something.
00:57:43Sounds perfect.
00:57:44I actually have something to tell you.
00:57:46Is Michael dying?
00:57:48No!
00:57:49He's actually alive and well.
00:57:51Alive and well.
00:57:52Aiden?
00:57:53Ketchup?
00:57:54Anyway, listen, lunch sounds perfect.
00:57:55I'll see you or two.
00:57:56Okay.
00:57:57Bye-bye.
00:57:58Here we go.
00:58:00You're welcome.
00:58:01Two seconds.
00:58:06Take dad home.
00:58:09Hi, Dad.
00:58:10Hey, little guy.
00:58:11Looking forward to our weekend?
00:58:13I want to show you a new trick.
00:58:16Looking forward to it, bud.
00:58:17You put Ma and Mom on for a minute.
00:58:18Hi, Dad.
00:58:19Hey, little guy.
00:58:20Looking forward to our weekend?
00:58:21I want to show you a new trick.
00:58:23Looking forward to it, bud.
00:58:25Can you put Ma and Mom on for a minute?
00:58:26No.
00:58:27Okay, but wait.
00:58:28Mom! Dad wants to talk to you.
00:58:30I can hear you from here, Michael.
00:58:32Private tie, please.
00:58:38You're cutting it close, no?
00:58:40What if there's traffic?
00:58:42Why are you wearing a tie?
00:58:44It looks everyone really well.
00:58:46A couple wants to look at two of my pieces.
00:58:48Cassidy, you offered me to come get her.
00:58:50Cassidy?
00:58:52These things come up. She offered her help.
00:58:54As a friend.
00:58:56I'm not going to engage her.
00:58:58And I'm not going to send our son off with some idiot.
00:59:02Can she even drive?
00:59:04Dammit, Julie. It was you who wanted to move to Williamsburg.
00:59:06And we set up these times for a reason.
00:59:08I would be more than happy to get Judge Stein's opinion on this.
00:59:12Look, Julie. We're freaking this out.
00:59:16This is important.
00:59:18Will you like Cassidy come or should I come get her?
00:59:22Fine.
00:59:24But this is the first and last time somebody else comes and gets our son.
00:59:28Fine.
00:59:30Fine.
00:59:32Dish in the dishwasher, please.
00:59:34Yes, Mom.
00:59:36Come on out.
00:59:48I'm going to miss you, squirt gun.
00:59:52Daddy's assistant is going to take you into the city because he has some extra work to do.
00:59:58Let me ask you a question.
01:00:02Is Cassidy around on the weekends when you're with Daddy?
01:00:06No. Why?
01:00:08Nothing. Just wanted to make sure that you and Daddy are spending good time together.
01:00:14We're going to the new skate park for the peer leader today.
01:00:16You are? That's so exciting.
01:00:18You know what I'm going to say next though.
01:00:20Yes, Mom. I'll wear my helmet.
01:00:24That's my boy.
01:00:32Hi, Ms. Gaba.
01:00:34Just a minute.
01:00:36I'm going to miss you.
01:00:38Call me if you need anything, alright?
01:00:40Yes, Mom.
01:00:42Let's go.
01:00:52Chapter 2 Attracting Abundance
01:00:58We will learn how to attract abundance of love, beauty and grace.
01:01:04An abundant mindset requires a shift in perspective, no less profound than a caterpillar transforming into abundance.
01:01:11A being once confined to the ground is able to fly.
01:01:17But just as a butterfly does not return to its prior self, we too must not return to our old ways of being.
01:01:27You will experience your life with an openness far beyond those who simply rely on what their eyes can see.
01:01:45Darling!
01:01:46Hi, Blair.
01:01:47So good to see you.
01:01:49Hi.
01:01:50Welcome!
01:01:51I'm sorry my place is so cramped.
01:01:53The new place was, of course, supposed to be ready three months ago.
01:01:56Oh, it's nice.
01:01:57Look at this view.
01:01:58Come, come.
01:01:59I'm sorry.
01:02:06So, how's it going?
01:02:09I have one week of unpacking left and, um, Aiden's having a tough transition.
01:02:14Oh, I hear kids love Brooklyn.
01:02:16Did I make a mistake, Blair?
01:02:18What are you talking about?
01:02:20I mean, I would need two Xanax to get on the L-Trend, but that's what Ubers are for.
01:02:24I am the oldest person there.
01:02:26There are no kids Aiden's age.
01:02:28And none of my friends will make the trek out to Williamsburg to visit me.
01:02:32Honey, I'll come visit you.
01:02:33I promise.
01:02:34It's just that things have been extra busy these days.
01:02:37Daniella, we're ready for lunch.
01:02:38Be right there.
01:02:39What can I get you to drink?
01:02:49Well, being as Julia has news, I think we'll have a bottle in the Chevrolet.
01:02:54No, no, no, no.
01:02:55Really, it's not that important.
01:02:59So, what's the news?
01:03:02I've decided to go back to the stage.
01:03:04You got a show?
01:03:05Oh, my gosh.
01:03:06Where?
01:03:07I did not get a show yet, but I did get an audition this afternoon for a reinterpretation
01:03:11of Streetcar.
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:13And I played Blanche in production when I met Michael, so...
01:03:15No, no.
01:03:16I remember.
01:03:17I think it is great that you're jumping right back in.
01:03:19I just thought, I don't know, maybe being cast in the same show might be fate?
01:03:24Speaking of fate, thank you.
01:03:27Just in time for a toast.
01:03:29To my friend Julia, may life bring you all that you desire,
01:03:36and a little extra for me.
01:03:45I haven't stocked any respectable wines in the new apartment yet.
01:03:48Maybe that's why I don't really eat.
01:03:50No, it's true.
01:03:51A well-stocked wine cabinet makes a house a home.
01:03:54You're Julia.
01:03:55Hi.
01:03:56This is Julia Carver.
01:03:57Hello.
01:03:58I can give an introduction before we begin.
01:04:03I am Hans, and I will direct this piece.
01:04:08The production will focus on desire.
01:04:12Desire not only of the characters, but of the audience.
01:04:15Thus, the second act will be staged entirely in the nude.
01:04:21All the actors will be naked?
01:04:22Yes.
01:04:23She doesn't get it.
01:04:24No, no, no, no.
01:04:25It's very interesting.
01:04:26It will be magnificent.
01:04:27Once everyone is in the nude.
01:04:28The real provocation begins.
01:04:29As rumors about your character spread, paint and charcoal will be in the nude.
01:04:33The real provocation begins.
01:04:34The real provocation begins.
01:04:35As rumors about your character spread, paint and charcoal will be in the nude.
01:04:36That's representing her.
01:04:37That's representing her entrance into insanity.
01:04:40Yeah.
01:04:41And so, in the final scene with Stan Comegna, she said she would be able to sketch it all
01:04:43with scantily, but of course before she was being able to tell you.
01:04:44You do.
01:04:45You do.
01:04:46First, G-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L...
01:04:47All of the actors will be naked?
01:04:48You do.
01:04:49No, no.
01:04:50I do.
01:04:51There are.
01:04:52You do.
01:04:53No, no.
01:04:54No, no, no.
01:04:55It's very interesting.
01:04:56It will be magnificent.
01:04:58Once everyone is in the nude.
01:04:59The real provocation begins.
01:05:02There's rumors about your character spread.
01:05:04Paint and charcoal will be thrown on her.
01:05:05The final scene with Stanley and Blanche, we will have the actor who plays Stanley shave your head.
01:05:12So, let's begin.
01:05:15Setting intentions informs the universe, which in turn will respond.
01:05:22You must be open for the path to be illuminated.
01:05:25It may feel as if you're sitting in the dark,
01:05:29but think of an owl that is able to see while others are unable.
01:05:35You too must find a way to see the right path.
01:05:40Find the owl.
01:05:44Find the fucking owl?
01:05:47What about pigeons?
01:05:49We have pigeons.
01:05:52Fuck.
01:05:54You shouldn't be in here.
01:05:57This one's yours?
01:05:59No, mine's the one over there with the great view of the brick wall.
01:06:04It's just that, um, Nicole in 1A,
01:06:07she tells the board if we use her space she's not too good at sharing, so...
01:06:12It's okay. I'm wrapping it up.
01:06:15You just moved into 2E, right?
01:06:17That's me.
01:06:18What brings you to Williamsburg?
01:06:21Divorce.
01:06:23Oh.
01:06:24I'm sorry to hear that.
01:06:26Is that why you're sitting on the floor?
01:06:29No, it's just one of those days.
01:06:33Still adjusting.
01:06:35And I had the audition from hell today.
01:06:39Oh, you're an actress.
01:06:41I don't know.
01:06:44You want some wine?
01:06:50The guy at the, uh, wine store put plastic cups in the bag.
01:06:54I'm not really sure what that says about me, but, um...
01:06:59there's one in here somewhere.
01:07:01There's one in here somewhere.
01:07:16The skyline's so beautiful with the air so clear.
01:07:19Come on.
01:07:20Come on.
01:07:21You can see.
01:07:24Is that an owl?
01:07:26Oh, yeah.
01:07:27It's kind of my thing.
01:07:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:07:37It's not you.
01:07:38It's not you.
01:07:39I've, I've been looking for an owl.
01:07:42Mm-hmm.
01:07:59Thank you for the wine.
01:08:02Damien downstairs is having a party if you wanna come check it out.
01:08:05to come check it out.
01:08:06Thank you, but I'm gonna finish my cup of wine
01:08:08and head home.
01:08:10Come on, you can meet people to potentially
01:08:13borrow some sugar from in the future.
01:08:15Thanks, but I'm good.
01:08:17I appreciate it though.
01:08:19Great.
01:08:22Anna, 1C.
01:08:26Julia, 2E.
01:08:29Welcome to 190 Lormer.
01:08:35QOV will be finished by Tuesday.
01:08:54It's mainly headcount.
01:08:55Cost savings should be realized in 18 months.
01:09:00Andrew, sorry.
01:09:02It's not like it's Apollo we're up against.
01:09:04It's Crest Lake Capital for fuck's sake.
01:09:07If I have to spoon feed management
01:09:09like a little baby sucking on my teeth, I will.
01:09:14James, James, I gotta go.
01:09:17Other business to take care of.
01:09:20Yes, fucker.
01:09:21All right, call me back.
01:09:24Ian.
01:09:25Yeah, yeah.
01:09:26You're late.
01:09:27I'm so sorry, you know, trying to get here from New Jersey.
01:09:28It's like a modern day odyssey.
01:09:30You learn to master time or time masters you?
01:09:34The building looks dope.
01:09:36Yeah, yeah, you know, the apartment layout is fantastic
01:09:39and the view from the terrace is just amazing.
01:09:42Do you want to take out the gym first?
01:09:44Yeah.
01:09:45Yeah, maybe, yeah.
01:09:47And it actually comes with HBO as well.
01:09:51What do you think?
01:09:52Daddy's home.
01:09:53Nice.
01:09:54You looking mainly in Williamsburg?
01:09:56My girlfriend's been handling the search.
01:09:59Where are you guys living now?
01:10:01I'm in Wall Street.
01:10:01She's in Greenpoint.
01:10:03Oh.
01:10:04It's only been a month, but it feels right.
01:10:06Nice.
01:10:07Well, I don't know if you have your own furniture,
01:10:08but the place is fully furnished.
01:10:12Comes with the rent.
01:10:13That is a very comfortable bed.
01:10:18I have the same mattress, so it feels good.
01:10:22Hey, my girlfriend's outside.
01:10:24How does she get in?
01:10:26Oh, hey, looks like she figured it out.
01:10:28Why don't you go check out the terrace?
01:10:29I'll buzzer up.
01:10:30Cool, bro.
01:10:31All right.
01:10:33Hi, come on up.
01:10:36Hello?
01:10:38Hey, welcome.
01:10:39What did I tell you?
01:10:41What did I tell you?
01:10:56So, what do you think?
01:10:58It's not bad for Williamsburg.
01:10:59I still think Manhattan's the better play, though.
01:11:00Well, if you feel that way, there's a few other apartments I can show you, downtown and Tribeca.
01:11:03Look at this terrace, babe.
01:11:04Look at how private it is.
01:11:05Just think of that for a minute.
01:11:06Don't fall in love, bro.
01:11:07We'll take it.
01:11:08We'll take it.
01:11:09Yeah.
01:11:10What are you doing here?
01:11:11I came to let you know that I'm moving into the building.
01:11:13What?
01:11:14Yeah.
01:11:154B came available, so my boyfriend and I decided to take it.
01:11:18Oh, come on up.
01:11:19You're done.
01:11:20You're done.
01:11:21You're done.
01:11:22You're done.
01:11:23I'm done.
01:11:24I'm done.
01:11:25I'm done.
01:11:26You're done.
01:11:27You're done.
01:11:28I'm done.
01:11:29I'm done.
01:11:30I'm done.
01:11:31I'm done.
01:11:32I'm done.
01:11:33I'm done.
01:11:34I'm done.
01:11:35I'm done.
01:11:36I'm done.
01:11:37take it. Boyfriend? Don't be all weird about this. I've moved on and I see that
01:11:44you have too. Anyway, I better get back. I'm moving such a pain. Guess I'll be seeing you around.
01:11:53Who is it babe? Tracy. What is she doing here? She's moving back into the building. What? She
01:12:06said that you could keep the apartment. Yeah, no, she's moving into 4B with her new boyfriend.
01:12:16Your ex-girlfriend is moving back into this building? I told you she was crazy.
01:12:31Still doing laundry on Sundays? You could say hi, you know.
01:12:39When are you sure he knows? Andrew likes to keep it sexy. How are things with, what's her
01:12:47name? Sarah? She hasn't started throwing pastries yet. That wasn't my finest moment. But I'm
01:12:55happy to hear that Anna survived, you know, being that she was lactose intolerant and all.
01:13:03So, what does your boyfriend think about us all being in the same building? He doesn't
01:13:08know and he's not going to. What am I supposed to say if I run into him? Whatever you want,
01:13:12that doesn't entail our failed relationship. I'm not the only one who could mention it to
01:13:17him, you know. Yeah, but you're the one that I'm gonna blame if he finds out. Okay, well,
01:13:23I just think he should know.
01:13:34Split your legs. What? You gotta split your legs. You get better balance, you get better reps. Watch.
01:13:48You a personal trainer? Private equity, but I make YouTube fitness videos.
01:13:54Sell some merch. You know, gotta have a side hustle. Nice. Well, thanks for the tip. I'm Evan. Yeah.
01:14:02Hi, Anna. Hi, I'm Anna. Hey. You're new to the building, right? You know,
01:14:07I couldn't help but overhear that you're a personal trainer. I have been looking for someone who can
01:14:11commit to the schedule. A schedule, anything really. Well, I'm Andrew and I just moved into 4B.
01:14:17Well, welcome to the building, Andrew, in 4B. I am sure I'll be seeing you in here.
01:14:23Did you just say you moved into apartment 4B? That's right. Yeah. Girlfriend found the spot.
01:14:29It's a dope apartment. Hey, I'm all done here, but one more pro tip. Increase the weight.
01:14:38There's something you should know about your girlfriend. Her name is Tracy, right?
01:14:44Yeah, that's right. She, uh... She's really sweet. I ran into her over the weekend in the hallway
01:14:52when you guys were moving in, so it's just, um... Oh. Yeah. Welcome to the building. Thanks, bro-chacho.
01:14:56I love you, Evan. I love you, Tracy. I mean... Oh, it's okay. You want to roleplay?
01:15:12Y-yes? Now all I have to do is shrink my ass and act like a bitch! No, no, it's... Her moving in the building is so
01:15:20weird, you know? I'm just... I'm all messed up. Yeah, and here I was about to suggest that we moved in
01:15:24together. We've been together. We've only been dating four weeks. Yeah, but our connection is so
01:15:28strong. Yeah, it's strong for four weeks. You know, maybe we should just take a break until I get my
01:15:34head straight. Oh. Okay, Evan. That's fine. I mean, you need time to figure everything out. That's fine.
01:15:42Just, like, whatever. Take as much time as you need. Thanks, it's just... Go fuck yourself!
01:15:54What the hell?
01:16:13What the fuck?
01:16:24What the fuck?
01:16:39There she is again.
01:16:47Holy shit.
01:16:54I love you, Evan!
01:17:00Fuck.
01:17:04Hi there.
01:17:07How was that?
01:17:08Um...
01:17:10Nothing. You just scared me, so...
01:17:14I thought you quit.
01:17:16Oh, I... I did.
01:17:19Things got... complicated.
01:17:21Okay, Mr. Drama. Let me have a puff.
01:17:26It's not about you this time, at least.
01:17:28Oh. Sandy giving you trouble?
01:17:31Sarah?
01:17:35You don't... Don't you find it confusing,
01:17:38getting back in the same building together?
01:17:40You have a lot of memories here.
01:17:43I call bullshit.
01:17:44I mean, you don't seem to be having too much trouble making new memories, but I promise never
01:17:51to have sex in the pump room. That's ours.
01:17:55See? It's not so hard.
01:17:57Seeing you here, it's, um...
01:18:01Go on?
01:18:03Nothing. I'll just... I'll get used to it.
01:18:06I'm glad you found someone to make you happy.
01:18:09Thank you, Evan. That means a lot.
01:18:12You know, Tracy, I, uh...
01:18:13I want to apologize about being so critical about your temper.
01:18:20You know, honestly, I played a big part in it, and...
01:18:23In retrospect, it really wasn't so bad.
01:18:27Thank you?
01:18:30Anyways, see you later.
01:18:34Sarah.
01:18:35You know how I feel about form. I'd rather do eight quality reps than 12 sloppies.
01:18:47The minute you notice your form falter, put the weight down.
01:18:50Performance X is all about precision of the body and the mind.
01:18:55Now focus on these last three, two, one, and done.
01:19:01Good workout today.
01:19:04Now don't forget about your five-minute mantra meditation, bro-chachos.
01:19:09I am whole. I am crushing it.
01:19:12And I will see you here tomorrow for a new take on leg day.
01:19:15This is Andrew X, signing out.
01:19:17Boom. Boom.
01:19:25Hey, babe. Just finishing the vlog.
01:19:26I think we made a mistake with the apartment.
01:19:30Well, I was just busting your balls.
01:19:31I mean, the commute sucks, but, uh, this place is legit.
01:19:35It's not that. It's just that...
01:19:38I never told you that I had recently broken up with someone when we first started dating.
01:19:43There's no need to confess.
01:19:44You know, I was dating other people too, and now it's just you, and we've got this place.
01:19:49I just, I wonder how long it'll take him to move on, you know?
01:19:52It seems to take time, but out of sight, out of mind.
01:19:54Yeah, no, that's the part that might be a little difficult, the out of sight part.
01:19:57Don't you guys work together?
01:19:58No.
01:19:59You got the same group of friends?
01:20:01He lives in the building.
01:20:02What building?
01:20:03This building.
01:20:04You and your ex-boyfriend moved into the same building at the same time.
01:20:06What are the chances of that?
01:20:07Not very good.
01:20:09I knew he lived in the building because I used to live with him.
01:20:14What?
01:20:15I used to live in this building.
01:20:17With him?
01:20:20I'm sorry. It's just that I loved the building so much, and when we broke up, it was so sudden.
01:20:25And I was just like, you know what? I don't want the apartment. You take it.
01:20:28And then I was like, what the fuck? Why would I let him have the apartment?
01:20:31You live in this building with your ex-boyfriend?
01:20:33Well, ex-fiance.
01:20:36But I'm thinking maybe it wasn't such a good idea.
01:20:39Because it's fucking crazy.
01:20:42You're crazy. Who moves in with someone after six weeks?
01:20:45We live in the same building. We live in the same building. We live in the same building.
01:20:51It's getting hot in here. It's getting hot in here. We live in the same building?
01:20:58Do you want me to get you a drink?
01:20:59It's getting hot in here. Yeah.
01:21:02Give me some water, please, because it's getting fucking hot in here.
01:21:07Jesus, it's getting hot in here.
01:21:09Oh my goodness. Where is the mirror? Here's my mirror.
01:21:12Here's my mirror. Here's my mirror.
01:21:17I am whole. I am crushing it. I am whole.
01:21:20Should I call someone?
01:21:21I am crushing it. I am whole. I am crushing it. I am whole. I am crushing it.
01:21:35Are you okay?
01:21:38Do you want me to get someone?
01:21:39I am crushing it.
01:21:46Are you okay?
01:21:51You had me worried. I am really sorry. I know it wasn't the best decision.
01:21:58Have a seat.
01:22:03Okay.
01:22:15Tracy.
01:22:16The principles of proformance X state that one must be calm and satisfied within to make rational decisions needed to live a happy and successful life.
01:22:28And when viewed from the posterior, bad decisions can highlight turmoil within.
01:22:33I love you, Tracy.
01:22:36But I think you have some soul searching to do.
01:22:39Now come give me a hug.
01:22:41As you continue on your journey.
01:22:42Where is that journey to exactly?
01:22:50You must venture out and find your way.
01:22:57What's with this?
01:22:57Ah, things didn't work out with Sarah.
01:23:00Which I'm okay with as I'm learning that spelling is not her strong suit.
01:23:05Well, um, I just came to tell you that I'm moving out.
01:23:08My apartment in Greenpoint is still available, so.
01:23:10Well, what about Andrew?
01:23:11It didn't work out.
01:23:13I'm starting to think maybe I wasn't ready for a new relationship.
01:23:16Yeah, I've kind of realized the same thing.
01:23:19You know, that box looks a lot of heavy.
01:23:23Why don't you let me carry it for you and you can buy me a coffee or something?
01:23:26Where was this gentleman when we were together?
01:23:28Let's do it.
01:23:38Hi, uh, this is super embarrassing, but I locked myself out of my apartment.
01:23:47Can I borrow your phone?
01:23:59I'll see you guys in my office.
01:24:01Thanks for having me.
01:24:05See you guys.
01:24:06Yeah.
01:24:08Yeah.
01:24:10Yeah.
01:24:12Bye.
01:24:13Bye.
01:24:14Bye.
01:24:14Bye.
01:24:15Bye.
01:24:16Bye.
01:24:16Bye.
01:24:18Bye.
01:24:20Bye.
01:24:21Bye.
01:24:22Bye.
01:24:23Bye.
01:24:24Bye.
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