- 5 days ago
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00:00:00Ellen musk the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list arrives at Atlanta today what a business
00:00:10tycoon is doing here in Georgia a forgotten stage no one knows Angela my next-door neighbor still
00:00:17selling your hippie junk here if your mother-in-law sees she's gonna throw a big fit again
00:00:21your mother-in-law was right about you what's the point of watching the news all day about
00:00:28these moggles if you can't even apply to your penniless self and how do you know that this is
00:00:32none of my all right everybody get out we got an important guest coming you deaf I said pack up
00:00:49and scram I paid the stall fee already and if you want me to leave then fine but you have to
00:00:54cognizate for today's losses you want to say that again you know who's visiting today Ellen
00:01:04freaking musk one of the richest people in the world Ellen musk of course a hick like you probably
00:01:09never heard of her just know that you can't afford to piss her off really Ellen musk is flying all the
00:01:17way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market you don't think that she could be coming to see
00:01:23me coming to see you all right oh you know what I'll play your game if she does it so much as give
00:01:33you a glance I'll I'll eat dirt deal Ellen musk get to the flea market within 10 minutes or else you're fired
00:02:03prepare the limo miss lockhart requires us immediately oh your 10 minutes is your messed up good hope you
00:02:24know what your pants five four three two one Ellen I mean miss musk Ellen I mean I'm sorry that I
00:02:43sorry to frighten you how's my boss bitch kicking ass girlfriend so how do you like
00:02:53she's my boss and I prefer business partner or best friend no way well no no no I'm sorry for
00:03:11your boss no I won't do it again all right that's enough we're not tyrants here
00:03:23sir I found Angela Lockhart
00:03:28you mean Angela Lockhart my runaway pride
00:03:37you made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker who are you
00:03:44where is she Atlanta and you were right it was secretly her propping up Alan musk
00:03:52my clever bride I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to
00:03:56Max prep the jet I'm heading to Atlanta
00:04:04Atlanta the game is afoot I'm going wait I need to pick up my bri
00:04:20bro
00:04:22Dr. Wilson
00:04:27General Eisenhower reporting
00:04:33David Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta Atlanta where is that whatever prepare my war plate
00:04:44those who are going after my fiance this is war
00:04:51I've secretly allowed your husband Jared Cooper to win the bid on the maple plaza project like you asked me to
00:05:09thank you so much Ellen this is gonna be the best anniversary gift ever
00:05:13that project is worth billions he can finally take his company public but Angela my boss
00:05:21I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity
00:05:27without your backing no offense but he's nothing without you well three years ago
00:05:35he saved me and I fell in love with him instantly I just
00:06:05I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a
00:06:09billionaire heiress but now with this contract I feel like we'll be on more equal footing
00:06:15and then I can finally come out to the public
00:06:18so that's why you have me secretly helping him I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out
00:06:24but why work at the flea market are you disguising yourself to test him
00:06:32well these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find
00:06:38plus I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom
00:06:42you seem happy being a housewife
00:06:44where the hell are you don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again
00:06:52get home stacked it's a big day today
00:06:58that was my mother-in-law Carol she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family
00:07:04but she's gonna be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am
00:07:10you know she even remembered her third year anniversary
00:07:18please spend more time with my son
00:07:22hi I'm home
00:07:24I have a big announcement I have to make
00:07:26finally you're back
00:07:28now sign the divorce papers
00:07:32divorce papers
00:07:34is this some sort of misunderstanding mom
00:07:38oh god
00:07:40don't call me mom again
00:07:42we're ending that relationship
00:07:44just look at you dirt all over
00:07:46you're selling the title of mrs cooper
00:07:48you don't deserve my son
00:07:50you're way below his league
00:07:52I'm below his league
00:07:54that's right
00:07:56you are
00:07:58Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow
00:08:02with THE Ellen Musk
00:08:04and then his company's going public
00:08:06that's how much he's accomplished in three years
00:08:08but you
00:08:10you're still just
00:08:12a stinky hippie peddler
00:08:14Jared's like the king in the clouds
00:08:16and you
00:08:18you
00:08:20will always just be a pawn
00:08:22like dirt
00:08:24on our shoes
00:08:26dirt on your shoes
00:08:28but Ellen Musk
00:08:30but Ellen Musk
00:08:32works for me
00:08:34you're delusional
00:08:36you will never upgrade to a queen
00:08:38how dare you compare yourself
00:08:40to the real deal here
00:08:44resorting to lies
00:08:46definitely not good enough for Jared
00:08:48and who are you
00:08:50to come into my house
00:08:52and meddle with my family matters
00:08:54you're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife
00:08:58Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee
00:09:02not a lowlife dirtbag
00:09:04enough
00:09:06Jared
00:09:08I knew you wouldn't divorce me
00:09:10but I am
00:09:12don't fight it Angela
00:09:14here's 500k
00:09:16you'll never make this much
00:09:18as a hippie peddler selling spices
00:09:20now sign the papers
00:09:22take your check and leave
00:09:24don't embarrass yourself further
00:09:26I've done
00:09:28I've done
00:09:30so much for you these past three years
00:09:32did that not mean
00:09:34anything to you?
00:09:36didn't expect you to be so greedy
00:09:38fine
00:09:40here's another 200,000
00:09:42500,000 is too much for her already
00:09:44she's done nothing
00:09:46hasn't even contributed
00:09:48a grandchild
00:09:50she just sells cheap grass all day
00:09:52is that really
00:09:54how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:56I took care of both of you
00:09:58these past three years
00:10:00you think we can't just hire a maid
00:10:04to cook for us or something
00:10:06and she wouldn't embarrass us
00:10:08with that permanent stench
00:10:10a hippie peddler becoming the wife
00:10:12of a CEO
00:10:14what a joke
00:10:16if you actually love my son
00:10:18you'll sign the damn divorce papers already
00:10:20and leave
00:10:24you really think that Jared would have gotten
00:10:26that Mabel Plaza bid without me
00:10:28let alone taking the company public
00:10:30I did everything
00:10:32for you Jared
00:10:34now you take credit
00:10:36for my son's success?
00:10:40it's all
00:10:42my work
00:10:44baby
00:10:46we're gonna be late for the auction
00:10:48if we keep letting this
00:10:50psycho stall us
00:10:52you did say you would win me
00:10:54princess Diana's tiara
00:10:56didn't you?
00:10:57so
00:10:58she's the reason for the divorce
00:11:00she's worth more than you Angela
00:11:04fine
00:11:06I'll sign it
00:11:08but don't regret it
00:11:10regret
00:11:12I don't know who I am
00:11:14yeah
00:11:16a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way
00:11:18into a married man's bed
00:11:20I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter
00:11:24Jared winning the bid
00:11:26a maple plaza
00:11:27was because of my dad
00:11:29because he's business partners with Ellen Musk
00:11:32it's part of the power
00:11:34I have
00:11:36as an elite
00:11:38you can't do shit
00:11:39because you're poor
00:11:40social stratum matters
00:11:42yeah
00:11:44social stratum does matter
00:11:46and the Coopers
00:11:48are beneath me
00:11:50and you really think Ellen Musk
00:11:52would come to Atlanta
00:11:54if it weren't for me?
00:11:55ha
00:11:56you're delusional
00:11:58now sign the papers
00:12:00and scram
00:12:02ah
00:12:04you owe me
00:12:06you dirty bitch
00:12:08you sickened me
00:12:14you hit me
00:12:16now sign the papers
00:12:18take your check
00:12:20and get the fuck out
00:12:22I don't need your penny money
00:12:38come on
00:12:40we're finished
00:12:42you don't want the money that's your loss
00:12:44your check
00:12:46your check is just pennies to me
00:12:48but
00:12:50I would like my ring back
00:12:52ha
00:12:54have fun
00:12:58on your economy flight
00:13:00while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here
00:13:02on your economy flight
00:13:04while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here
00:13:10and I'm way
00:13:12out of your league
00:13:14isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:13:20it's worth tens of millions of dollars
00:13:22it's worth tens of millions of dollars
00:13:24oh
00:13:26it's probably just cheap glass
00:13:28something she found at the flea market
00:13:30you're right
00:13:32she could never afford anything so expensive
00:13:34congrats Jared Vuvu on getting rid of that dirt bag
00:13:40oh
00:13:42my dad
00:13:44says there's gonna be a secret
00:13:46big shot financial tycoon
00:13:48at tomorrow's summit
00:13:50bigger big shot than Ellen Musk
00:13:52yeah
00:13:54and nobody's met them
00:13:56but I can introduce you
00:13:58everything's thanks to you babe
00:14:00Angela? Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia
00:14:18wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding
00:14:20Vanderbilt?
00:14:22yeah he's actually CEO of one of our companies
00:14:24basically our employee
00:14:26okay I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow
00:14:28that's fine
00:14:29well you're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:14:30that you and Jared Cooper are already divorced
00:14:32that's exactly why I'm going
00:14:35Angela Lockhart
00:14:37I finally found you
00:14:39who is he?
00:14:41that
00:14:53that's Devin Sterling
00:14:55he's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list
00:14:57Angela Lockhart, I finally found you.
00:15:03Who is he?
00:15:04That, that's Devin Sterling.
00:15:06He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list
00:15:09and early investor of crypto,
00:15:11CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:13Rumor has that he's worth trillions.
00:15:16And he's your fiance.
00:15:19What, what, my fiance?
00:15:22The one and only.
00:15:23So, after running away and leaving me single
00:15:28for three years, have you figured out
00:15:31how you're gonna make it up to me yet?
00:15:34Babe.
00:15:42That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:48What is she doing here?
00:15:50Oh, you skank.
00:15:54My son just divorced you yesterday
00:15:57and you're already hooking up with another man.
00:16:00Divorced?
00:16:02That's right.
00:16:03So, I guess this was never meant to be Mr.
00:16:08Sterling.
00:16:09Devin Sterling.
00:16:12So she has to hide her marital status
00:16:14to find another man.
00:16:15Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:17She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:23How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:26Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:30Do you know who I am?
00:16:32They don't know who you are.
00:16:35You hide it well.
00:16:37X-Team!
00:16:39Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:42Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:44Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta
00:16:51and then to New York.
00:16:52You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:00Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:03Okay.
00:17:03Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:09Oh, you bitch.
00:17:10I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:19A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:22No.
00:17:31Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:34You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet,
00:17:37old money like me.
00:17:39Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:42Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:43Your families all started empires
00:17:45after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:47What an honor.
00:17:48I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:51It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:53Congrats.
00:17:54You'll be next.
00:17:56But we haven't received the contract yet.
00:17:58We deserve it.
00:17:59Pardon me.
00:17:59Oh, that's nothing.
00:18:00I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:03Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:05So, I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:09Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:11Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:15Yes.
00:18:16I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:19Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:23Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot,
00:18:27we can feast for generations.
00:18:32I'll do my best.
00:18:38Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:40What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:43How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:47Me, a hobo.
00:18:49How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:53Sleep your way in.
00:18:54I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:57Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:00Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:05This is your ex-husband?
00:19:08What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:10Who the hell is this?
00:19:13You were cheating on me?
00:19:26Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:29That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:34Oh, they even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:37They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:49You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:54Get your hands off of her.
00:19:55My lady.
00:20:00Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
00:20:30He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:20:33Who are these peasants?
00:20:35These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:20:40Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:43You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:47Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:49That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:50You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:53His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America!
00:20:57The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:00Vanderbilt.
00:21:02The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:07who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:11That Lolly Vanderbilt family?
00:21:27I'm Harvey F. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:37I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:42And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:21:45Not with me around.
00:21:47I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:21:51You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:21:55You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:21:56We've had enough of your games.
00:21:57Security!
00:21:58Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:21:59Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:00But don't worry.
00:22:01I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:22:02I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:22:04Not with me around.
00:22:05I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:08You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:11You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:14We've had enough of your games.
00:22:16Security!
00:22:17Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:20Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:23But don't worry.
00:22:25You got new money here.
00:22:28I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:30Yes, my queen.
00:22:32You're all despicable.
00:22:35An insult to your family names.
00:22:40Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:44Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:46Cut off all business ties.
00:22:49And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:22:56Ha!
00:22:57I knew it!
00:22:58You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:00You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:02How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:06You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:10You have nothing.
00:23:11And you will always be nothing.
00:23:15She's a gold digger.
00:23:17Gold digger.
00:23:19Gigolo.
00:23:20Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:23Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:25Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:28They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:31Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:33She's only here to try and ruin my bill on the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:36Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:38Skirty!
00:23:44Skirty!
00:23:46You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:49And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:52You!
00:23:54Insolent fools.
00:23:56Let me guess.
00:23:57You're that special guest?
00:24:00I don't know.
00:24:02Throw them out!
00:24:03And not without some broken bones too.
00:24:08Back down, Max.
00:24:09I got this.
00:24:13Yeah, Max.
00:24:17I got this.
00:24:18What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:46I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:49No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:53Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:04Angela! Don't hurt her!
00:25:07You bitch. I've always been sick of you. You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:10How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:13Boss? Did she say her boss? Miss Musk? That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:19That woman right there is Angela Lockhart, my boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:25Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:28Past the American Revolution?
00:25:30Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:32If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:35That's Lady Lockhart to you. She's royalty.
00:25:38And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:42What are you going to do?
00:25:43Kneel for me!
00:25:45Oh, your majesty.
00:25:48Welcome to the United States.
00:25:51We've always been your loyal subject.
00:25:54Yes, your highness. Is it a queen or a princess?
00:25:58It doesn't matter!
00:25:59My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:03Oh, yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:05Hey, what are you doing, idiot?
00:26:07Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness!
00:26:10What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:23She's a badass herself.
00:26:42He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:44You!
00:26:45You!
00:26:46You told me your wife was a hippie peddler!
00:26:48Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time!
00:26:51No!
00:26:52Don't believe their lies!
00:26:53I worked hard for everything!
00:26:55You worked for everything?
00:27:01Hi, honey.
00:27:03So, our third year anniversary is coming up,
00:27:06and I thought that maybe we could do something special this year?
00:27:08I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:11I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:27:14and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:18Come on.
00:27:20You were nothing before me.
00:27:27All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine!
00:27:31Including the Maple Plaza project.
00:27:34I can take all of that away.
00:27:37Just like that.
00:27:39No, you can't take that away from me!
00:27:41So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this and nobody!
00:27:45Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:49Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:51It was Queen Victoria's, and it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:00Oh, no.
00:28:01No.
00:28:02No.
00:28:03I gave you back the ring?
00:28:05I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:07No!
00:28:08No, Angela, please!
00:28:10No!
00:28:11No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:12I still love you!
00:28:14Oh, man.
00:28:18Looks like they started the party without us.
00:28:20No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower!
00:28:22I got these two again.
00:28:26Could he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:30President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:31After General Eisenhower won World War II, each of his descendants have all gone on
00:28:35to become five-star generals, the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:38Glad you buffoons know your history.
00:28:41Sorry, I'm late, babe.
00:28:42I got lost trying to find Atlanta, then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:49And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:28:56He's Dr. House's protege.
00:28:57Dr. House?
00:28:58Yes.
00:28:59I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:00Oh, no.
00:29:01That's based on a real figure.
00:29:02Yep, that's me.
00:29:03Oh, no.
00:29:04That's a real figure.
00:29:05Yeah, that's me.
00:29:06Oh, no.
00:29:07Oh, no.
00:29:08That's me.
00:29:09Son of James House.
00:29:10Dr. House?
00:29:11He's practically my uncle.
00:29:13I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:17So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15
00:29:21years.
00:29:22And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:30Hey, Alan.
00:29:31Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:34Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:37What?
00:29:38Fiancés.
00:29:39Plural?
00:29:40Fiancés.
00:29:41Plural?
00:29:42Fiancés.
00:29:43Plural?
00:29:44Watch it, nerds.
00:29:45I'm her fiancée.
00:29:46No, I'm her fiancée.
00:29:47You can both sign up.
00:29:48I'm her fiancée.
00:29:49It's you.
00:29:50It's me.
00:29:51Who the hell is he?
00:29:52I'm Spider-Man.
00:29:53How are all three of these men my fiancées?
00:29:54Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago but I didn't tell you because you
00:30:07decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:09She has three bad-ass fiancés and she marries his dumbass.
00:30:16Whatever.
00:30:18Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:22Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:26At your service.
00:30:27Me too.
00:30:28Oh!
00:30:29Oh!
00:30:30Oh!
00:30:31Oh!
00:30:32Oh!
00:30:33Oh!
00:30:34Oh!
00:30:35Oh!
00:30:36Oh!
00:30:37One down, two more to go.
00:30:38She's become queen!
00:30:39Bishop to G4.
00:30:41Oh!
00:30:42Oh!
00:30:43Oh!
00:30:44Oh!
00:30:45Oh!
00:30:46Oh!
00:30:47What is that?
00:30:48The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:30:51Ah!
00:30:54Ruck to A8.
00:31:01Hello?
00:31:04I thought I was king.
00:31:05No.
00:31:06You wish.
00:31:07The king doesn't do anything.
00:31:08So, Ellen can be my king.
00:31:10Oh, fine.
00:31:15Bankrupt the Fords right this second.
00:31:22I...
00:31:24I've been bankrupt!
00:31:25No!
00:31:27Who is...
00:31:33I've been bankrupt!
00:31:35No!
00:31:36I told you I would remove all of you from status and power.
00:31:39if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:41Well, guess what?
00:31:42Game over.
00:31:43Alright, boys.
00:31:44Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:46Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:48I'm right with you!
00:31:50Wait for me!
00:31:52Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:31:54Angela!
00:32:07You already have three fiancés?
00:32:09You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:11I...
00:32:13want compensation.
00:32:14You greedy SOB!
00:32:15Who the fuck is that?
00:32:16My ex-husband.
00:32:17Wait.
00:32:18You were married?
00:32:19Yeah.
00:32:20And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:24More for me.
00:32:25No, no.
00:32:26Of course not.
00:32:27Just...
00:32:28Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:29Don't steal my joke.
00:32:30I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:31All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:32What?
00:32:33Is there something on my face?
00:32:34Uh, yeah.
00:32:35Murderous intent.
00:32:36Let's remarry.
00:32:37Let's remarry.
00:32:38Let's remarry.
00:32:39You still don't realize.
00:32:40I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:08Let's remarry.
00:33:09Let's remarry.
00:33:10Let's remarry.
00:33:11Let's remarry.
00:33:12Let's remarry.
00:33:13Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:14We need to wreck right away.
00:33:15Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:31Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:35She should be okay now.
00:33:37Hey, you!
00:33:41Watch over here.
00:33:42I'll be right back.
00:33:52You saved me.
00:33:56Fuck.
00:33:57I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:01Fuck.
00:34:02I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:04You've cheated on me.
00:34:06You've hit me.
00:34:07And you've insulted me.
00:34:09And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:13I fucking hate you.
00:34:16Lady Lockhart!
00:34:18God, what now?
00:34:20Okay, yes.
00:34:21We understand that you are a very busy person.
00:34:24But if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project.
00:34:28How about us three?
00:34:29Yes.
00:34:30Unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on your own.
00:34:34Yeah, no.
00:34:35You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:37I know.
00:34:38But...
00:34:39This is your fault you doofus!
00:34:40We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:42No!
00:34:43No!
00:34:44We can't lose our positions with Elon Musk and the Lockhart.
00:34:50Help me!
00:34:52I'll get you for this!
00:34:59Never should have listened to you!
00:35:01I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:17So...
00:35:18What's the situation here?
00:35:19I want to marry you!
00:35:21Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:39But what if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:46Much longer.
00:35:47Angela, your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:35:58My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:01Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:03The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:06Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:08I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing blood-sucking free little husband of yours.
00:36:15Can't call his name, but, uh...
00:36:18Anyway, congratulations!
00:36:19I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:25Oh, you must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:36:29Let me do it.
00:36:31You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:34Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:37Mom!
00:36:38Alright, honey, that's it.
00:36:41Bye!
00:36:42Bye!
00:36:43So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:48Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:36:54Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:36:58That seems greedy.
00:36:59But, I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:13Hey!
00:37:14I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:17I know and have access to all the devious poisons in the world.
00:37:21Whoa, okay.
00:37:22No murder, please.
00:37:23I was just kidding.
00:37:24We have seven days to win her over.
00:37:26Ooh.
00:37:27It's like the Bachelorette.
00:37:28I know.
00:37:29We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:30Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:37:31Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:34What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:35You'll see.
00:37:36Oh my god!
00:37:37Oh my god!
00:37:38Oh my god!
00:37:39Cockroaches!
00:37:40All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:37:41I know.
00:37:42I know.
00:37:43We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:44I know.
00:37:45We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:37:49Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:52What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:54You'll see.
00:37:55Oh my god!
00:37:56Oh my god!
00:37:57Oh my god!
00:37:58Cockroaches!
00:37:59All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:02And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:10What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:25Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:28It's up to the final two!
00:38:32And.
00:38:33Spawn.
00:38:34And.
00:38:35Spawn.
00:38:36Spawn.
00:38:37Spawn.
00:38:38Spawn.
00:38:39Spawn.
00:38:40Spawn.
00:38:41So, I knew you were like, we would make this day.
00:38:42It's me, Koo!
00:38:43It's my koo!
00:38:44It's me, Koo!
00:38:45And, what?
00:38:46It's me.
00:38:47Ase.
00:38:48It's me.
00:38:50I'm going to have its Odin!
00:38:51I'm going to have to do one of his devoted guys.
00:38:52I'm going to have to take this time.
00:38:53It's gonna have to take a nap and do it!
00:38:55So, I can't really gotta do it.
00:38:56But, I didn't do it.
00:38:57You know, and you're not going to have to have to do it.
00:38:58But, you're not going to have to do it.
00:38:59You'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:03There are two more left.
00:39:04Wanna try one?
00:39:05Oh my god, no! No!
00:39:09Oh my god, save!
00:39:10What? Save you! You're gonna save me!
00:39:15I'm a germaphoic doctor.
00:39:17These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:19They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:29Oh, thank god you're here.
00:39:39Are you alright, honey?
00:39:42Angela!
00:39:45Alright, you won the first challenge, so your reward?
00:39:48You get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:51Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:39:53I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:39:55You have nothing to worry about.
00:39:59Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:05At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:07I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:12The cockroaches!
00:40:13They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:15There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:18I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:25I need a drink.
00:40:29I need a drink.
00:40:35Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach!
00:40:37Oh, why do you care?
00:40:40You're trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:45You guys were right.
00:40:46I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:49You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:40:56He never even loved me.
00:40:58And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:01Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:13You may not be number one on the Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in.
00:41:18What?
00:41:19You're number one here.
00:41:20You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:33Lies.
00:41:34You all just want something from me.
00:41:37Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:46But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:41:53I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:41:55I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:42:02I just need you.
00:42:04I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:42:09I promise.
00:42:22Screw the contest.
00:42:24I just want love.
00:42:27Angela.
00:42:29You're drunk.
00:42:30I'm an adult.
00:42:31Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:42:34Okay.
00:42:39But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:43Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:46There.
00:43:03Nine inch penis.
00:43:05Morning to you too.
00:43:06You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:09You wouldn't-
00:43:10A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:43:15Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:18But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:21Because then they would-
00:43:23Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:24Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:28I won the first challenge and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:43:35Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:43:38Yes.
00:43:42Are you sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:43:45It's not.
00:43:49Fine, fine, fine.
00:43:53I won't tell.
00:43:55But only on one condition.
00:43:56You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:05Fine.
00:44:07I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:13You never noticed me.
00:44:15Well, uh, you should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:26It's only 7am.
00:44:27She's still sleeping.
00:44:28I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:29Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:44:36Morning, gentlemen.
00:44:37Oh, or shall I say Ruffman?
00:44:39Oh, don't mind him.
00:44:42What's up, guys?
00:44:43We're ready for the second challenge.
00:44:46No cockroaches this time.
00:44:48Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:44:49That was my bad, Angela.
00:44:51This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:44:53I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:44:55The second challenge is...
00:44:58The second challenge is...
00:45:00A date.
00:45:01Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:03A date?
00:45:04That's it.
00:45:06What's the catch?
00:45:07No catch.
00:45:08Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:10As simple as that.
00:45:11I know what I want to do.
00:45:12Let's start with me first.
00:45:13Okay.
00:45:14Pulls up first.
00:45:15Then...
00:45:16Me.
00:45:17Save the best for last.
00:45:19Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:20Then it's decided.
00:45:25Please, don't take my BMW away!
00:45:28Too bad.
00:45:29You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:45:31I have nothing left!
00:45:32I have nothing left!
00:45:41It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:45:47It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:45:48General Eisenhower served!
00:45:49At ease, Lieutenant!
00:45:50This is my Lieutenant.
00:45:51He also manages this boxing gym.
00:45:52Blessing me to Madam Eisenhower!
00:45:53He's so serious.
00:45:54But...
00:45:55Hang on.
00:45:56Lieutenant!
00:45:57I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:45:58Baby!
00:45:59I decided to take you here on my first date so that I can introduce you to my guns!
00:46:00Guns?
00:46:01Like...
00:46:02Murder weapons?
00:46:03Yes.
00:46:04Murder weapons.
00:46:06Yes.
00:46:07Murder weapons.
00:46:08I've never been sent by a man.
00:46:09I've never been sent by a man.
00:46:10He's so serious.
00:46:11But...
00:46:12Hang on.
00:46:13Lieutenant!
00:46:14I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:46:15Baby!
00:46:16I decided to take you here on my first date so that I can introduce you to my guns!
00:46:18Guns?
00:46:19Like...
00:46:20Murder weapons?
00:46:22Yes.
00:46:23Murder weapons.
00:46:35like my guns babe pretty rock hard yeah let me show you what i can do with them lieutenant
00:46:49come close wait you're just gonna hit him like that he's not even gonna fight back fighting
00:46:55back will be treason ma'am treason you guys are way too serious look you rock hard bitch i caught
00:47:03you if i'm going down you're all going down with me lieutenant here's your attack
00:47:17ah you dare try to hurt my wife
00:47:25i will make you pay
00:47:28you don't need to keep beating him up we could just take him to the cops
00:47:31not when he tries to hurt you
00:47:40so he's a bit violent some might call it being protective poor anger issues what if we get
00:47:46married and i forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something is he gonna be like rough
00:47:53hey some girls are into that i don't know if i am well maybe shane will be your type
00:48:01okay your date with shane starts now
00:48:10hey cool ride a gift from the chancellor of germany when i saved his wife impressive
00:48:17your breath smells like peppermint refreshing i got cool mint too or do you prefer spearmint
00:48:30what do you not have in this coat of yours fruit flavor go i can't stand those so where are you taking
00:48:37these let me show you
00:48:38let me show you
00:48:42you
00:48:44oh
00:48:45dr wilson
00:48:48vip of vips right this way vip of vips
00:48:52ah just some other guy i saved i forget who you saved a lot of football i'll do what i can
00:49:00oh my gosh it's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband
00:49:05Sandra Miller, what are you doing here? I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:12Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and
00:49:16Kaylee Vanderbilt up. How low of you.
00:49:20What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:22Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember. I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:49:28you couldn't even afford even if you sold your organs.
00:49:32The auction begins.
00:49:33I'll deal with you later.
00:49:36Here, I'll just be one second.
00:49:43Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:49:48Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:49:51Cleopatra's armband.
00:49:53Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:49:57For five million dollars.
00:50:00Excuse me. I'd like to donate this piece to auction. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:06I'd like to donate this piece to auction. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:11What are you doing?
00:50:13Just watch.
00:50:15Come on.
00:50:16That is Queen Victoria's ring? Please. I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:25She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:28You work at a flea market?
00:50:30Not this again.
00:50:31Cut the bullshit. That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:50:34Oh yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:50:37Ew! I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:50:41Well, that's too bad then. Because you are the fraud.
00:50:46What are you talking about? Who the hell are you to accuse me? Throw them out!
00:50:52Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:50:57Oh yeah? And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:02Yeah. Mine is the real thing. You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:10Why was that so? Would a so-called expert fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:15Dear Lord, this is real. It's authentic. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:27Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:29Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me, it's a replica.
00:51:35They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:51:38So, you are the fraud. You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:51:45And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:51:49150.
00:51:50Wow, not even five dollars. Sandra.
00:51:55You've been duping us the whole time? Arrest her!
00:52:00No! Please! He was just this one time! Please!
00:52:04What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:06Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye!
00:52:11A lot Calista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:22I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:25Me too. May I have a kiss?
00:52:36Hey!
00:52:38What's wrong?
00:52:39Something wrong?
00:52:40Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:52:43Yep. You never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:52:53You never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:53:06You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:10I don't have any money.
00:53:12How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:15I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:23Mr. Landeville.
00:53:30Mr. Buffett.
00:53:35This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:53:37That's right.
00:53:38Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:53:41I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:53:44I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:53:46No, no, sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:53:49It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:53:52Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:53:55And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:01Angela still loves me.
00:54:02She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:04She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:05Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:08We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:11I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:14and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:16It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:18Sure, I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:23I just need anything.
00:54:25You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:27Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:30I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:54:34I've given a contract to Jarrett Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:54:43Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:54:47Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:54:49I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:54:51My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:54:53It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:54:56And if he can, then what?
00:54:58He'll be bankrupt.
00:54:59So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:55:04I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:06I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:16I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:19We should celebrate.
00:55:20Oh, you did?
00:55:21You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:24That skank, Angela, is nothing next to you.
00:55:27And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:30Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:55:35What?
00:55:37You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:55:39Oh, no, no, no, no, he's not.
00:55:41Jarrett, what are you doing?
00:55:43You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:55:47It's my decision, Mom.
00:55:49I'm the head of the house here.
00:55:51I'm telling my dad.
00:55:53Fine, go right ahead.
00:55:54He has enough problems himself.
00:55:55If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:55:58But if not, you can scram.
00:56:01Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:05Teach him a lesson.
00:56:05Kayleigh, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:08Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:12Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:13We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:16So do as he says.
00:56:17What, Dad?
00:56:25I'm sorry.
00:56:27Be your side piece.
00:56:29Very good.
00:56:30I'm happy you've come around.
00:56:32Now let's go celebrate.
00:56:36I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:56:41But that tongue action, though.
00:56:43Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:56:46Arlene, we are in public.
00:56:47It's true.
00:56:49Stomachache.
00:56:51Again?
00:56:51I have to run to the bathroom.
00:56:53Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:56:55Okay.
00:56:57Devin's late.
00:56:59Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:00This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:08It's her.
00:57:08And she's alone, with no one to save her.
00:57:13You whore.
00:57:14You seduced my son so he could back with you.
00:57:17Let me tell you, I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:30Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:57:34Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:57:36What?
00:57:37Why do I have to leave?
00:57:38She's the one starting shit.
00:57:40Because I have money and you don't.
00:57:42You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:57:45And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:57:49He's still got the contract?
00:57:52Must be Ellen's doing.
00:57:54Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:57:58Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:00Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:04Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:06You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:14My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:17$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:20$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:23$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:28Oh, whoa!
00:58:29Hey!
00:58:30Hey!
00:58:30Ow!
00:58:31Hey!
00:58:31Stop!
00:58:34You okay?
00:58:35Are you hurt?
00:58:36I'm hurt.
00:58:41Weekly.
00:58:41You!
00:58:42You!
00:58:43Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:58:47And now you have two more?
00:58:49What a whore.
00:58:50What a whore.
00:58:51Yeah.
00:58:52And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:58:55What if she has an STD?
00:58:57Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:01Let's go.
00:59:02We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:04Hang on.
00:59:04What do you want?
00:59:07I'll scream!
00:59:08I don't hear a woman, but I never said I don't kill her.
00:59:14But I never said I don't kill her.
00:59:15Oh, God.
00:59:18He is a murderer.
00:59:20What if he murders me?
00:59:21Not him.
00:59:22Definitely not him.
00:59:28We're not afraid of you.
00:59:30That's enough.
00:59:30This isn't a war zone.
00:59:32You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
00:59:37I was just messing with them.
00:59:39Was he though?
00:59:40We're not afraid of you.
00:59:43Jared!
00:59:43You have to avenge us.
00:59:45Look at this slut.
00:59:46She's found two more boy toys.
00:59:48She's cheating on you.
00:59:49Don't get back with her.
00:59:50Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
00:59:52I apologize for this scene.
00:59:54I'll toss out the potty crashers immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
00:59:58Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:00Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:02The potty crashers.
01:00:03You have any idea who that is?
01:00:08That's my wife.
01:00:09Please, save that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:13That's right.
01:00:14Know your place.
01:00:15Shut up.
01:00:15She's cheating on you.
01:00:19Know your place.
01:00:20You're just a side piece.
01:00:22If I still want you, that is.
01:00:23Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:25This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:27You slap her for this whore?
01:00:29Mom!
01:00:31They really think there's something, huh?
01:00:33Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:00:37She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:00:40I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:00:44What?
01:00:46You, apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:00:55I'm sorry.
01:00:59This can't be.
01:01:00I made you divorce.
01:01:06Go home.
01:01:07You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:15I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:19Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:22I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:25I didn't come here for you.
01:01:28I'm on a date.
01:01:29A date with two men at the same time?
01:01:33She really is a whore.
01:01:34Angela, please forgive me.
01:01:37I really do love you.
01:01:40Oh ho! Lady Knockhart is here!
01:01:43Oh ho! Lady Knockhart is here!
01:01:48I too.
01:01:49Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:01:53We're too old for that.
01:01:54They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:01:56Please, you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:02Oh yes, please Ms. Lockhart, join us.
01:02:04We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:08What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:11Where were you?
01:02:12Stomach issues.
01:02:14Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:17No.
01:02:19Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:23I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:27Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:02:31I can't lose face in front of these pricks, otherwise they'll cut me off too.
01:02:34Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:02:37I'll prove it to you.
01:02:39You want a chance?
01:02:40Angela, no.
01:02:42You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:02:45Don't take him back.
01:02:47I'll give you two choices.
01:02:51I'll give you two choices.
01:02:54Me or the contract.
01:02:57You're kidding me.
01:02:59No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:02If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:06But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:09The choice is all yours.
01:03:11So that's a tough choice.
01:03:13You think so?
01:03:14He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:18Either way, he benefits.
01:03:19Why can't I have both?
01:03:22You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:25Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:03:27I deserved the contract.
01:03:30Did you really?
01:03:35Look who's fashionably late now.
01:03:38He didn't save her at the pool.
01:03:40Wait, what are you talking about?
01:03:43I, uh, I choose the contract.
01:03:45I knew it.
01:03:46You'll get what's coming to you.
01:03:50With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:03:54Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:03:57I will get you one day.
01:03:59Let me show you something.
01:04:10I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:27But I promise you, I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:04:31No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:04:33I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:04:44Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:04:48What?
01:04:49Me?
01:04:51Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:04:53No way.
01:04:54You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:04:59You're crazy.
01:05:01And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:06What?
01:05:08Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:11Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:15Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:19I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:20Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:23I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:05:26No, it's not your fault.
01:05:27They're just too slick.
01:05:29You'd like me to punish them for you.
01:05:31Oh god, no.
01:05:32Not that again.
01:05:33Please.
01:05:35Max, you know what to do.
01:05:37The banks have pulled all our funds.
01:05:52All business ties have been severed.
01:05:54We're bankrupt!
01:06:01How did you do that?
01:06:02Who are you?
01:06:03And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:08I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:11I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:15I am Crypto-Punk number two.
01:06:19What did he say he was?
01:06:20That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:23You're Crypto-Punk number two?
01:06:25Well, I'm Crypto-Punk number one.
01:06:28See? You are number one at something.
01:06:31The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:06:34Forget Forbes' list.
01:06:36It's all about young money now.
01:06:38So, how about our date?
01:06:46I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:06:48I'll spy two.
01:06:49They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:05I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:08I'm not paying for it.
01:07:09Yes!
01:07:10I'm rich!
01:07:12I can make them all pay soon!
01:07:20What?
01:07:20Mr. Cooper, sir, the Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:07:26Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:07:30No!
01:07:31I'm bankrupt!
01:07:36Angela Lockhart, you tricked me!
01:07:43Oh, allow me.
01:07:47I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:07:49I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:07:56Well, cheers.
01:07:58Cheers.
01:08:00This looks good.
01:08:13Did you use my spices?
01:08:16I know your ex-in-law's never appreciated you.
01:08:21You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:08:27Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:08:30Angel.
01:08:36Your future with me?
01:08:40It's gonna be different.
01:08:42Come on.
01:08:42I'm gonna just dance.
01:08:44Okay.
01:08:46I'm gonna do it.
01:09:01I'm gonna do it.
01:09:02I'm gonna do it.
01:09:03Wow.
01:09:03Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years just because of some
01:09:10silly mistake Angela I've known and loved you for three whole years actually I've
01:09:19also loved you for three years that's right I fell in love with you three
01:09:24years ago too how is all of this possible I didn't meet any of you until
01:09:30recently well actually maybe Devin but I've had a crush on you since college
01:09:38you're a motivation to go to business school despite who you were you never
01:09:45judged me for being poor are you trying to get hired at fortune 500 in a suit
01:09:53like that all you do is babble on and on about internet money Bitcoin shit like
01:10:02that are you trying to steal my spot I'll teach you unless you need
01:10:11hey get away from me
01:10:13shut up
01:10:15feisty girl I like her
01:10:19how is he it's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa
01:10:34I should got salty can it be cured actually think I know that poison it
01:10:39sounds really scary but it's cure can actually be found in any developed
01:10:42country household salt
01:10:49I like her there you go
01:10:59shoot I'm late for some practice
01:11:03I like her
01:11:10we have been rivals ever since
01:11:12so that's how I well we all met
01:11:18I barely remember
01:11:20should have never let you go to swim practice that day
01:11:22Matthew Richards the guy who poisoned me attacked you out of revenge
01:11:27you wouldn't have known
01:11:28I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though that makes you feel any better
01:11:32yeah I think that suits him a little better
01:11:35yeah
01:11:36Angela your seven days is almost up
01:11:38now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years
01:11:42who will you pick?
01:11:48how can that be?
01:11:50Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:11:53Kaley we've gone bankrupt
01:12:00bankrupt?
01:12:02the Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:05well then get out of here
01:12:08you can't do this to me
01:12:10Jared!
01:12:13mom it's me
01:12:14what happened?
01:12:16Jared I have carefully reconsidered
01:12:19Angela is way better than this dimwit
01:12:21you should get back with your wife
01:12:23you should get back with your wife
01:12:24we're bankrupt
01:12:25what?
01:12:26Jared Cooper
01:12:31we are here to
01:12:34repose your belongings
01:12:36no one is going to save you now
01:12:38what?
01:12:39what?
01:12:40no
01:12:41no
01:12:42no
01:12:43no
01:12:44what kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs
01:12:47who will you pick?
01:12:51I
01:12:55I brought you fried chicken?
01:13:01fried chicken?
01:13:02hey not all girls like sushi and caviar
01:13:04yeah he's right
01:13:05I did live in Atlanta for three months
01:13:07sucking up last minute
01:13:09at least I don't speak like an AI robot
01:13:11hey stop stop
01:13:15welcome back to the bachelorette
01:13:18I mean the three badasses who want me
01:13:21I mean Angela Lockhart
01:13:24you know what I mean
01:13:26today our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:13:29which one of our three badasses will she marry
01:13:33will it be Shane the doctor
01:13:36Cole the general
01:13:39or Devin the CEO
01:13:43uh looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide
01:13:50oh the suspense is killing me
01:13:53but when she does she will take this eternal rose
01:13:57made from glass imported from Venice
01:13:59and give it to our winner
01:14:02Angela
01:14:03Angela
01:14:06oh
01:14:07I
01:14:08I
01:14:09I need more time to think
01:14:12uh
01:14:13while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide
01:14:19why don't we check in with each of our candidates
01:14:22let's check in with each of our candidates
01:14:24let's start with Cole
01:14:27there's not much to say
01:14:33who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:14:35who has huge biceps
01:14:37a massive chest
01:14:39who would protect their
01:14:41wife
01:14:43okay
01:14:45thank you
01:14:46uh Shane
01:14:48muscles
01:14:50money
01:14:52they only get you so far
01:14:54but you need a well-balanced man like me
01:14:56it has more than one way to keep a lady happy
01:14:59if you know what I mean
01:15:00okay
01:15:04I think we do
01:15:05and Devin
01:15:06that was quite disgusting
01:15:09I just hope Angela's okay
01:15:13I know she's going under a lot of stress right now
01:15:16a lot of choices to make
01:15:18and she's my queen
01:15:20I just really hope she's okay
01:15:22and then one more thing
01:15:24what kind of a doctor
01:15:26brings fried chicken to a girl
01:15:28that's a good point
01:15:30it's bad for her heart
01:15:32and then you
01:15:34what
01:15:35you know what they say about military men
01:15:37they beat their wives
01:15:39they beat their wives
01:15:45no!
01:15:47stand up!
01:15:49hey you guys
01:15:51whoa break it up
01:15:53hey break it up
01:15:55cut to commercial
01:16:00cut to commercial
01:16:01cut to commercial
01:16:03this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life
01:16:09This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:16:24Who do I choose?
01:16:35Angela's marrying me!
01:16:36You're not stealing her from me.
01:16:37Oh yeah?
01:16:38I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:16:48What don't you have in that code?
01:16:50Fruit flavored gum!
01:16:51I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:16:53I'll fight you to the death.
01:16:55Don't forget about me.
01:16:57It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:03These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:06They do not help.
01:17:07Who made these?
01:17:08It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:18I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:17:19And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:17:31We may have to work together to take him down.
01:17:32No!
01:17:33No!
01:17:34No!
01:17:35No!
01:17:36No!
01:17:37No!
01:17:38No!
01:17:39No!
01:17:40No!
01:17:41No!
01:17:42No!
01:17:43We may have to work together to take him down.
01:17:55This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:09I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:15Winterman or Koolman?
01:18:21You know, I've always really liked your hair.
01:18:25Really? I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:18:30So I appreciate that.
01:18:33And you know, Koolman, I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:18:39Really? Yeah.
01:18:43What do you got for me?
01:18:45I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:18:48Yeah? Yeah. It's fresh, right?
01:18:50Yeah.
01:18:52You know, you're actually a really good dog.
01:18:56Hey, I appreciate it.
01:18:57Hey, if you need me to look at you, I got you.
01:18:59Hey, me too.
01:19:00Yeah, of course.
01:19:01Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:03Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:05It was Jared Cooper!
01:19:07That fucker!
01:19:09We have to find her.
01:19:10What the hell?
01:19:11Her ring.
01:19:12Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:15Well, let's go then!
01:19:16My wife!
01:19:17My fiancé!
01:19:18My fiancé!
01:19:19My fiancé!
01:19:25Jared.
01:19:29What am I doing here?
01:19:32You destroyed me.
01:19:35They took everything.
01:19:38What?
01:19:39I have nothing left.
01:19:41It's not my fault.
01:19:42You're too greedy.
01:19:45Angela!
01:19:46Come here!
01:19:49It's too late!
01:19:51I drugged her.
01:19:52She'll be dead soon unless...
01:19:53Oh, yeah?
01:19:54Have you forgotten who I am?
01:19:57He really does have everything in us, coach.
01:19:59Everything except for fruit.
01:20:00Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:20:01We get it already.
01:20:02Just save my boss!
01:20:05Here we go.
01:20:11You're all good now.
01:20:13Oh, thank God.
01:20:15But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:20:17What?
01:20:18What are you going to do to me?
01:20:20Hey, stop!
01:20:21No!
01:20:23Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:20:25No!
01:20:33No!
01:20:35Why we didn't actually have that fight?
01:20:36Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:20:37So, who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:20:43You've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding, the Prince of Bhutan.
01:20:48And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:20:56Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:21:01We're down to the wire, literally, the wedding day.
01:21:04But who's the groom?
01:21:08Ahhhh...
01:21:18Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:21:22But who's the groom?
01:21:26Uh, seems our era still hasn't decided.
01:21:31Any input from the parents?
01:21:33Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:21:36Oh, this is exciting. Who should my daughter pick? Let me think.
01:21:46I like the doctor. He's cute.
01:21:51But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:21:55And we can't forget about Devin Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest. Isn't that right, Devin?
01:22:01Angela.
01:22:06You are all three very fine gentlemen, and I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:22:18But this was a really hard decision, and I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:22:26And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:22:30I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:22:37Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:22:45I mean, Bachelorette, once.
01:22:47They've all proven their undying love.
01:22:50So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart? Literally.
01:22:56Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:23:02Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:23:17And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:23:22The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devin Sterling.
01:23:26Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:23:33As may the best man win.
01:23:37May the best man win.
01:23:39Drum roll, please.
01:23:42Gotta make you understand.
01:23:46Never gonna get you up.
01:23:48Never gonna let you down.
01:23:50Never gonna run around and desert you.
01:23:54Seriously, Ricky?
01:24:02I choose...
01:24:13I need a powerful, strong man, and I really feel like you can protect me.
01:24:19Who could resist those guns?
01:24:24Should I interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:24:26You like a full body check-up?
01:24:27I think you can't get out of the time.
01:24:41Shane, it's you.
01:24:43I'm lovesick for you.
01:24:45You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:24:46Yeah.
01:24:47It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:24:52Ellen, be my new queen.
01:24:54Think of what we could grow together.
01:24:56Dance, babe.
01:24:57It's always been you.
01:25:10I'll always love you.
01:25:22Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:25:25No, no.
01:25:26Would you like a full body check-up?
01:25:28Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:25:29I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:25:31Thanks, Dad.
01:25:54Bye.
01:25:54Bye.
01:25:55Bye.
01:25:59Bye.
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