- 2 hours ago
Matrimoney
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm married.
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:08Your place, you're mine.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience school.
00:00:23Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?!
00:00:29She's my sister!
00:00:30I don't care! That violates our agreement!
00:00:32How?!
00:00:33What the fuck?!
00:00:36What?!
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't walk around.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite!
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:43I fucking hate you!
00:00:45I fucking hate you more!
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well...
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:00:59Wait.
00:01:00What are you doing?
00:01:01That is an original.
00:01:02I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:01:05Oh!
00:01:06Fine!
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion!
00:01:13You're treating me like shit!
00:01:15That's from the Renaissance!
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare!
00:01:18I tried to make this work with you!
00:01:19We signed a contract!
00:01:20For an arranged marriage!
00:01:21Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:25You are such a simpleton!
00:01:27Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:01:28Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat!
00:01:29I tried to get along with you!
00:01:30You brought this on to yourself!
00:01:31I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:01:32Right back at you!
00:01:33I fucking hate you!
00:01:34I fucking hate you more!
00:01:35I fucking hate you more!
00:01:40Right back at you!
00:01:42I fucking hate you!
00:01:44I fucking hate you more!
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:08Again.
00:02:12To be fair,
00:02:14we thought I was late and we'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in
00:02:20using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me,
00:02:26I wouldn't have came.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci. Come on.
00:02:32Good boy.
00:02:34Oh!
00:02:36Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:42Hey, Amelia.
00:02:44Hey, James.
00:02:46Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:52You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy,
00:03:00it reflects on me.
00:03:02It reflects on the company that your mother and I
00:03:04built with our bare hands.
00:03:06The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:10I make my own money.
00:03:12See, see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:16I am the spokesperson for man thumb.
00:03:18That means free underwear for life.
00:03:20For life.
00:03:22Some parents would be proud.
00:03:24Yeah, other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:28You are next up to be CEO.
00:03:30Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:32Now, how can I give you that job
00:03:34if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:36Hmm.
00:03:38All right. Don't forget the meeting this afternoon.
00:03:40All right? And don't be late.
00:03:44Bye, Dad.
00:03:46Excuse me.
00:04:02Eww.
00:04:04Hello, my Gucci.
00:04:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:09He needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14My too, Amelia.
00:04:16Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:40No problem.
00:04:42Cool. Let's take five and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:04Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were ya?
00:05:10Dad, I'm in a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:14Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:17I can meet him later.
00:05:19Ah, Sue Layton's back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:23Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned.
00:05:33You went to business school.
00:05:35You...
00:05:36You have potential.
00:05:37Okay?
00:05:38But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:40Well, you're gonna have to prove it.
00:05:41Cause so far...
00:05:43I ain't seen any end tape from you.
00:05:45Bye, Dad.
00:05:46Hey.
00:05:47You okay?
00:05:48Yeah.
00:05:49Um...
00:05:50But...
00:05:51I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:54Um...
00:05:55But...
00:05:56I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:06:10So, it's a...
00:06:13Really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20Oh, my God.
00:06:21There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:24But it's really expensive.
00:06:26And my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:29Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're gonna get through this together.
00:06:40Oh, yeah.
00:06:50Oh.
00:06:51Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:52Did she have a good walk?
00:06:53What's wrong?
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:55I'm sorry.
00:06:56This...
00:06:57No, no.
00:06:58Forget about it.
00:06:59I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:00The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:03I have a savings.
00:07:04For my doggy daycare.
00:07:05My dream, but...
00:07:06It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:07And who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:07:08Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:09After her parents passed.
00:07:10I would do anything for her.
00:07:11Amelia.
00:07:12I think I'm sorry.
00:07:13I'm sorry.
00:07:14I'm sorry.
00:07:15This...
00:07:16No, no.
00:07:17Forget about it.
00:07:18I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:19The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:21I have a savings.
00:07:22For my doggy daycare.
00:07:23My dream, but...
00:07:24It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:25And who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:07:27Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After her parents passed.
00:07:31I would do anything for her.
00:07:33Amelia.
00:07:34I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:39You do?
00:07:40Hmm.
00:07:41Come back.
00:07:42Tonight.
00:07:43And, uh...
00:07:44Make something nice.
00:07:46Come on.
00:07:47Okay.
00:07:58Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:01Except for the dog hair.
00:08:04Come with me.
00:08:07I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:11Yes.
00:08:12Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course.
00:08:14Everything's from Italy here.
00:08:16Well.
00:08:17Amelia, meet.
00:08:18Michelangelo on my side.
00:08:21I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:24Mm-hmm.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:28Don't be so defensive.
00:08:30Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:45That'd be really hard.
00:08:46Hey.
00:08:47Arrivederci, huh?
00:08:48Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What exactly?
00:09:03How does it look?
00:09:04Not half bad.
00:09:05I mean...
00:09:06It's fine.
00:09:07Whatever.
00:09:08Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:09Or not.
00:09:10I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:12You work for my dad.
00:09:13You have to do what I say.
00:09:14You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:15Just a few more pictures.
00:09:16I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:17I don't need Tinder.
00:09:18I'm an underwear model.
00:09:19My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:20Whatever.
00:09:21Whatever.
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:26I don't need Tinder.
00:09:27I'm an underwear model.
00:09:28My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:29Whatever.
00:09:30No, you don't want to do it.
00:09:31I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:35I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:42Whatever.
00:09:44Pull me another.
00:09:45I told you, I'm-
00:09:46Damn.
00:09:47Pour me another.
00:09:48I told you, I'm...
00:09:49Now.
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See, dog walker?
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking product!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:14You crazy bitch!
00:10:17Amelia!
00:10:19Whoa.
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink,
00:10:23and she flipped out!
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus,
00:10:26but your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:29I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature.
00:10:33All right?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you to put forward it.
00:10:37Please.
00:10:38All right?
00:10:39Just have a seat.
00:10:40All right?
00:10:40And I promise he'll be on his best behavior
00:10:42for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:43So, Amelia needs money
00:10:47to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:52Yeah.
00:10:53And you need to settle down
00:10:54and prove that you're worthy
00:10:55of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:02I think we can make a deal
00:11:06whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married,
00:11:18that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus,
00:11:23what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone
00:11:28who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:29Well, at least I don't pose
00:11:31in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Oh, Angelo, look.
00:11:35You have to grow up
00:11:36before you can run our business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that
00:11:39is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know,
00:11:50my wife and I,
00:11:51we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah, we were like
00:11:53pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:56She sure drove me crazy
00:11:58when we first met her.
00:12:01I know you're probably thinking
00:12:02I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:03But I learned a thing or two
00:12:05in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:13Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:15I don't want to be miserable
00:12:16for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help
00:12:18your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able
00:12:21to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree
00:12:24to this arrangement.
00:12:24Come on.
00:12:29What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:38Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:45Angelo,
00:12:46it's not polite
00:12:47to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not going to agree
00:12:50to marry her,
00:12:52then you're going to lose
00:12:54the business.
00:12:55And you're also going to lose
00:12:57your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:05Now, let's just
00:13:06go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already
00:13:10drafted the contract.
00:13:11And, son,
00:13:12we're going to need
00:13:13some champagne.
00:13:15You're in my mind.
00:13:16Try and make yourself
00:13:17look decent.
00:13:21You will be engaged
00:13:22for a period of 30 days,
00:13:24followed by a wedding
00:13:26planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you,
00:13:28it's going to be a big one
00:13:29for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween bowl
00:13:32is not booked.
00:13:33Anyway,
00:13:34you must move in together
00:13:36immediately
00:13:36to avoid any suspicion,
00:13:38you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong
00:13:40with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well,
00:13:43it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out
00:13:45to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be
00:13:47our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:13:54Salute to the new couple.
00:14:16Mmm.
00:14:24So,
00:14:25your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying
00:14:28at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:32So this is
00:14:43Michelangelo's place.
00:14:45It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:14:50Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:04What was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:11So put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here,
00:15:13not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing
00:15:16with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:19It's trademark.
00:15:20Look,
00:15:24I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up
00:15:27by the time I get back,
00:15:28we'll throw it all in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh,
00:15:37by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might wanna start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:58Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:01It's not like you.
00:16:03Actually, we're...
00:16:04reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like, I always taught you.
00:16:10Well,
00:16:11things change
00:16:12when you find out
00:16:13your sister has cancer.
00:16:15And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered
00:16:17to help pay
00:16:18for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So,
00:16:20I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Villino?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo?
00:16:32Dino Villino?
00:16:33Shh!
00:16:38Socialite Man?
00:16:39Well,
00:16:39like,
00:16:40start a hundred
00:16:40canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind
00:16:49of a romance.
00:16:51He's so...
00:16:53toxic.
00:16:55Speak of the devil.
00:16:56Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know,
00:17:00that's probably
00:17:01an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:06Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:11Doctor's ready.
00:17:13We'll talk about this later.
00:17:20I'm sorry.
00:17:26You ready to get wet, baby?
00:17:39We're already wet.
00:17:40Where did that come from?
00:17:58You ready to get wet, baby?
00:17:58You ready to get wet?
00:18:23Nice place.
00:18:24I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks. Finally.
00:18:28Ooh, good taste.
00:18:32No, I'm good. We had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35Far from me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:54Who are you? Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:04Amelia.
00:19:06Whatever. Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:10This is my house?
00:19:12We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:18You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:22Who's jealous?
00:19:24Jealous? I'm not jealous.
00:19:28Sweet dreams.
00:19:36I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:38How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:42Even if he is kinda hot.
00:19:52See you later.
00:20:04And, um...
00:20:06Don't worry about last night.
00:20:08Sorry.
00:20:09I had one too many to drink. It won't happen again.
00:20:11Better not.
00:20:12How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now. My head's killing me.
00:20:28We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No. What we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:34I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:36Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:38But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine. I'll have her sign an NDA. Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:56Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:58I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:02I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing. Dog walker.
00:21:08And just so we're clear.
00:21:10I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:14Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:17I'm sorry.
00:21:19It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I just really...
00:21:23hung over.
00:21:27That could have gone better.
00:21:33Hey, baby.
00:21:35You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:38You're rich now.
00:21:39I know. I like it.
00:21:41Ah, that's good to hear.
00:21:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:46Tell me, uh...
00:21:48How are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:50Oh, fine.
00:21:52Yeah.
00:21:53We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:54All right.
00:21:55Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:57Oh, and listen.
00:21:58He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:01Look, I...
00:22:02I promise.
00:22:03I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:04I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:05Yeah.
00:22:06You're right.
00:22:07Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Come on, Gucci.
00:22:11Come on.
00:22:12Bye, Gooch.
00:22:16Hey, Amelia.
00:22:17Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no!
00:22:21Royce!
00:22:22I'd say bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:38Sorry.
00:22:39Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:41His whole family, actually.
00:22:43All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:45I should make a reality show.
00:22:47We're all dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:52Do you want to walk together?
00:22:53Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57I'd like that.
00:23:03So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:06A couple months.
00:23:07I like it.
00:23:08I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:11Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:14Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:18Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:20Just trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:28It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:32I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:40If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:45My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:48Do you want to go?
00:23:50I kind of have to admit I had a crush on you.
00:23:54You did?
00:23:56Yeah.
00:23:57I still do.
00:23:58He's cute.
00:23:59I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:03Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:09I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:10Hell yeah.
00:24:11I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:12Yeah.
00:24:13I know it's risky.
00:24:14But I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:15I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:17Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:18Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:22Looks pretty big.
00:24:23It was a big school.
00:24:36Public schools, am I right?
00:24:41Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:52I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:57No.
00:24:57Are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:11Royce pooped.
00:25:13You should pick it up.
00:25:15Where?
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:16Just over there.
00:25:19Come on.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:26Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:29You want to be CEO, you got to look the part.
00:25:31You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:36Very funny.
00:25:37You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:39Yes, I know.
00:25:39Yeah, that means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get to Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:49Come on, Dad.
00:25:52Okay.
00:25:59Wow!
00:26:02Oh my goodness.
00:26:04Are you okay?
00:26:04Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:12You're engaged, remember?
00:26:15And this is our new palette.
00:26:18It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:22But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:26:36What, Dad?
00:26:39What a day, Dad.
00:26:40It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:42Look at you.
00:26:43You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:50Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Let me just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business.
00:26:58But she just worked hard.
00:26:59And now, well, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:19Break's over.
00:27:19Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:42Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia,
00:27:46you talk about the day's work,
00:27:48and raise you closer together,
00:27:50comfort each other,
00:27:51just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:55You know, I'm thinking,
00:27:56it's time for the world to meet Amelia.
00:28:02Tonight.
00:28:04Tonight?
00:28:05Shit.
00:28:06When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition
00:28:15to the Dino Verdina.
00:28:18Now, don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:24What's the matter?
00:28:25You're getting along, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah.
00:28:28Just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight,
00:28:35in the limo,
00:28:35and don't be late.
00:28:37Don't be late.
00:28:41My dad.
00:28:42Mm-hmm.
00:28:42So, remind me,
00:28:55why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice
00:29:00for my favorite big sister.
00:29:03And?
00:29:03You know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:08But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now,
00:29:11I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry.
00:29:16Just an expression.
00:29:24How's it going in there?
00:29:26I'm coming out.
00:29:27How's it going in there?
00:29:57How's it going in there?
00:30:28What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:32Thanks.
00:30:32Um, I...
00:30:35Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just...
00:30:39something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:43Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome.
00:30:49Thanks.
00:30:49I'm taking this.
00:30:54Wait.
00:30:54I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you.
00:30:57I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on.
00:31:02Amelia!
00:31:02All right.
00:31:11Hey.
00:31:11Look who's right on time.
00:31:13Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:15She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:31:21If your fiance is sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some...
00:31:27Give her some nice soup.
00:31:28I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:43Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:55Hey.
00:31:56It's Michael Lennon and Dino Levino.
00:31:58You still track people?
00:32:15Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:19You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:32:24Sorry.
00:32:24I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:27I kind of panicked.
00:32:28No worries.
00:32:29I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:33But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:35Talk to the bartender.
00:32:37Wow.
00:32:37The IP treatment.
00:32:39You look like it.
00:32:41Thanks, Jared.
00:32:43Hey.
00:32:44Lover boy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:48Find me in the green room after.
00:32:51Hope you like it.
00:32:52Break a leg.
00:32:53Lover boy.
00:32:54Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:16All I do is you know what I want, babe.
00:33:21You know what I want.
00:33:25Good.
00:33:26Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:30One more, please.
00:33:31One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:38Jake, you guys were great.
00:33:47You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:55You don't know the strokes.
00:33:57Are they older?
00:34:00I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:04It's alright.
00:34:06Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:34:08You want some of that a drink?
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:11So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13.
00:34:23Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally going someplace.
00:34:28That's awesome.
00:34:29When I get my record deal, I can fully quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:34:35You're going to quit dog walking?
00:34:37I thought you liked it.
00:34:39I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much.
00:34:45I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:46A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:55I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that.
00:35:05I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:08Now I'm not sure.
00:35:09We have nothing in common.
00:35:11Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:16What the heck?
00:35:17I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun.
00:35:21Now I can have mine.
00:35:29Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:39What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dino Levino, the Nepo Baby underwear model.
00:35:45He's not.
00:35:46You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:51Back off, dude.
00:35:53Back off.
00:35:54Grubby little hipster.
00:35:55She's my fiancée.
00:35:57So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:59Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:02I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not, Jake.
00:36:11This is for making me Uber all the way to fucking sober, Mike.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:25I can't believe you did that after your high and mighty speech.
00:36:27You're such a hypocrite.
00:36:28Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:31Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:36:34I'm not following you around.
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it.
00:36:38You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:36:41Oh, me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:46Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:36:51I have a name.
00:36:53Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original.
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:56Oh, fine.
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:37:02I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:37:05You're treating me like shit.
00:37:08That's from the Renaissance.
00:37:09You are history's worst nightmare.
00:37:11I tried to make this work with you.
00:37:12We signed a contract.
00:37:13For an arranged marriage.
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:19You are such a simpleton.
00:37:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:37:25Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:27I tried to get along with you.
00:37:28You brought this onto yourself.
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:37:32Right back at you.
00:37:34I fucking hate you.
00:37:35I fucking hate you more.
00:37:37I was like, oh.
00:37:39I was like, oh, this is very cool.
00:38:25Where am I?
00:38:42Who's spooning me?
00:38:45Is that Jake?
00:38:48How drunk was I?
00:38:54Michelangelo?
00:38:55Dog walker.
00:38:57Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:04Uh-huh.
00:39:05We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08I know.
00:39:08We had too many drinks.
00:39:10We just forget it ever happened.
00:39:11If that's what you want.
00:39:14Definitely.
00:39:15Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:20I should get up, too.
00:39:23Oh, my head.
00:39:24There's Pedialite in the fridge.
00:39:28Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:30Of course.
00:39:31My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:36Well, you look great.
00:39:37Thanks.
00:39:38I don't feel great.
00:39:41The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:45But you, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:39:49What's going on?
00:39:51So, Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:58For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:01We're taking it slow.
00:40:04Michelangelo.
00:40:05The male gigolo.
00:40:06Taking it slow.
00:40:10Maybe I did misdredge him.
00:40:11And, how was it?
00:40:17Well...
00:40:17Really bad.
00:40:18Right?
00:40:19I knew it.
00:40:20Actually, it was the best sex I ever had.
00:40:25Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:27I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:35That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:37I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:42I feel like an arcade game, and he just keeps getting the high score again and again, and...
00:40:47You get the picture.
00:40:48Hey.
00:40:53Opposites attract.
00:40:54I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:59Because you're so different.
00:41:01Something like that.
00:41:10Here it comes.
00:41:11Right on the schedule.
00:41:13Dog walkers in love with me.
00:41:16I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:18Weird.
00:41:19I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:31What was that about?
00:41:32Must be the hangover.
00:41:42Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:46Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:31Hey.
00:42:32We should talk about Leslie.
00:42:42I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night, I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake, and we can just go back to hating each other like nothing ever happened.
00:42:53I don't think you understand if you would just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one-night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay.
00:43:06I get it.
00:43:06I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18I mean...
00:43:18Frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:22Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:32What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:42Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why, but that was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:52Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor.
00:43:57I could even do reality TV.
00:43:58But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy, cosmic chemistry.
00:44:08You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:13Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it, too.
00:44:22Amelia.
00:44:22Please.
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it, too.
00:44:25I felt it, too.
00:44:32So why are we fighting it?
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me, too.
00:44:38I do.
00:44:55So, I set the kitchen on fire.
00:45:16How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault.
00:45:21They should change the name.
00:45:22No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:45:27If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off espresso and martinis, and he almost sinks the boat.
00:45:39You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag, you're not so bad.
00:45:44Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this.
00:45:51Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:45:54I'm serious.
00:45:56The wedding's coming up.
00:45:59We could give it a shot.
00:46:01You mean, like, you and me.
00:46:03Together, together.
00:46:04Why not?
00:46:06Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:21Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:46:23Oh, hey, Royce.
00:46:31Jake?
00:46:32How's it going?
00:46:34Good.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:37Look, the other night was kind of...
00:46:38Crazy.
00:46:39I know.
00:46:41I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight.
00:46:46I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:52I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:46:58Well, I am his woman.
00:47:00He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:47:03And I don't blame him.
00:47:05Oh, my God.
00:47:06Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Di Novolino?
00:47:10I didn't mean to pry.
00:47:12I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:47:15I'm here if you need to talk.
00:47:17Thanks, Jake.
00:47:18But I'm engaged.
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:47:25I thought we had a connection.
00:47:27You're a cat person.
00:47:29It never would have worked.
00:47:31Come on, Gucci.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36Cats are awesome.
00:47:37That was a great presentation.
00:47:44The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:48Ooh.
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:47:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:53Now, listen.
00:47:54I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci?
00:47:59Sure.
00:47:59But, I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty.
00:48:03Yeah.
00:48:04But that's how you impress her.
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:48:09At the dog park?
00:48:10Mm-hmm.
00:48:11I just texted her.
00:48:12It's all set.
00:48:13Now, go get her, lover boy.
00:48:16So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:33It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:48:37Let me try.
00:48:39That's okay.
00:48:40I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:48:43Yes.
00:48:46Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:50No.
00:48:51I like my work.
00:48:53What's the point in working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:48:58You're right.
00:48:58I should work less.
00:49:01If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:49:08Fetch Gucci.
00:49:13I've got a big surprise.
00:49:15A surprise.
00:49:18Just wait and see.
00:49:27Grazie, Enzo.
00:49:28Have a good night, Mr. Dino Bellino.
00:49:35What's that?
00:49:36Special delivery from Mastrione's Italian Deli?
00:49:42Look, Gucci.
00:49:44What's your favorite prosciutto?
00:49:47You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were off the clock today.
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion.
00:49:55I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:50:02I'm kidding.
00:50:04This is for us.
00:50:05Why don't you get us a course group?
00:50:07What else is in the bag?
00:50:08Just some imported Italian ingredients so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:14That was so good.
00:50:30I feel like I just went to Italy even though I've never been.
00:50:34How did you do this?
00:50:36I can't cook at all.
00:50:38Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:50:40Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:42No.
00:50:43My mom taught me.
00:50:44Tell me about her.
00:50:46I never told a girl about my mom.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51I don't mean to pray.
00:50:53She passed away when I was 11.
00:50:56Breast cancer.
00:50:58But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:51:01She grew up in a little village in Tuscany.
00:51:05She taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:51:06We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:51:13I still have all of her recipes here.
00:51:17Handwritten in Italian.
00:51:19That's really special.
00:51:22I miss her.
00:51:25This might sound corny but...
00:51:27I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:51:30It's not corny.
00:51:32But I didn't know you were such a softie.
00:51:34Just don't tell TMZ.
00:51:38What about your parents?
00:51:40My parents died in a car accident.
00:51:43When I was 13.
00:51:45It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:51:47I'm sorry.
00:51:49I just really hope these treatments work.
00:51:53I don't want to lose her too.
00:51:57I'm sorry.
00:51:58Your story made me emotional.
00:52:00I'm going to go do the dishes.
00:52:02I'll help you.
00:52:02No.
00:52:03No, it's fine.
00:52:03I like doing the dishes.
00:52:05It relaxes me.
00:52:07Good.
00:52:08Because I hate them.
00:52:09Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:52:15Is it just the wine?
00:52:17Or am I really falling for...
00:52:20Him?
00:52:20Her.
00:52:20Her.
00:52:20Her.
00:52:20Her.
00:52:20Her.
00:52:20Her.
00:52:22Her.
00:52:23The wine.
00:52:24Her.
00:52:24Her.
00:52:24The wine.
00:52:25Her.
00:52:26Her.
00:52:26The wine.
00:52:26hey hey do you want an espresso i just figured out how to make the machine work
00:52:39no thank you you need to have a morning meeting i'm kind of in a rush
00:52:43okay well don't forget gucci how could i
00:52:46ready bro well let me fix your tie
00:52:51what do you know about ties you wear t-shirts to work
00:52:56and you wore man thongs two weeks ago
00:52:59touche
00:53:00there you go okay bye bye
00:53:04love you love you too
00:53:09sorry reflex i didn't mean to say that
00:53:21me neither too soon
00:53:23talk about it later
00:53:26yeah
00:53:27okay
00:53:29okay
00:53:29ugh could that have been any more awkward
00:53:32and is michelangelo really in love with me
00:53:36look who's here hey my little guy hey little gucci
00:53:46look at this right here huh
00:53:49let's try one
00:53:52oh yeah now here's a here's mine right just like that huh yeah even got one for big brother
00:54:00right there
00:54:02come to papa yes my boy
00:54:06all right all right so we gotta talk about this uh this wedding right this is two weeks off
00:54:12hollywood bowl they're waiting for an answer and i bumped into chris martin on the plane he says the band is free
00:54:20you like cold play right
00:54:23you can't have the wedding at the hollywood
00:54:25oh
00:54:27well all right then we'll book the magic castle how about that not too big plenty room for cold play huh
00:54:33let's just pump the brakes we cannot plan a wedding like this
00:54:37what something wrong with amelia
00:54:39no
00:54:40everything is great
00:54:42it's better than great honestly
00:54:45but we cannot have a big flashy wedding that's our thing
00:54:50it's not amelia's thing
00:54:52i think it'd make her uncomfortable
00:54:55wow i never thought of that
00:54:58you know you have a very good point there
00:55:02i'm very impressed
00:55:04you've never acted like this
00:55:06with any other woman
00:55:08i can't say i've ever felt like this with another girl
00:55:11sounds like you might be falling in love
00:55:15love
00:55:17yeah i don't know
00:55:19he's cute
00:55:22all right all right
00:55:24change the deal
00:55:25gonna cancel the hollywood bowl
00:55:27all right and then we'll have a nice small intimate affair
00:55:30a wedding with cold play
00:55:33no cold play dad
00:55:35no cold play
00:55:43so
00:55:45it's about my cancer treatment
00:55:47it's not working
00:55:49i know it
00:55:50i talked to my doctors yesterday
00:55:53and i'm cured
00:55:55what you're cured
00:55:57oh congratulations
00:56:00thank you
00:56:01i wasn't expecting it
00:56:03i didn't think i would be cured in only two sessions
00:56:07it only took two sessions
00:56:09i almost had enough in my savings to cover that
00:56:11maybe i didn't need the dina volino's money
00:56:14what's wrong sis
00:56:16we should be celebrating
00:56:18i brought prosecco
00:56:20no yeah
00:56:22no i'm good
00:56:24yeah
00:56:26i'm your sister
00:56:28you can tell me anything
00:56:30is it michelangelo
00:56:32is everything okay
00:56:34if that punk pretty boy hurts you
00:56:36i will take that man thong
00:56:38and give him a wedgie so far up his butt
00:56:40that it will cut him in two
00:56:42it's not michelangelo
00:56:44let's see
00:56:46it's me
00:56:48i have to tell you something
00:56:50i cannot believe
00:56:56that they convinced you to do
00:56:58an arranged marriage
00:57:00what is this game of thrones
00:57:02thrones
00:57:04it was the only way that i could pay for your treatments
00:57:06and you know that i would do anything for you
00:57:08actually
00:57:10he's not that bad
00:57:12i kinda like him
00:57:14yeah
00:57:16babe that's called stockholm syndrome
00:57:18we need to get you out of there
00:57:20Betsy
00:57:22i have real feelings for him
00:57:24but
00:57:26what about the tabloid stories
00:57:30i've heard what he did to that floozy in disney world
00:57:32they banned him
00:57:34for life
00:57:36you'll never go to epcot
00:57:38he's not actually like the stories
00:57:40or
00:57:42at least not to me
00:57:44he's only acting like that to get into your pants
00:57:46Amelia
00:57:48if you marry michelangelo
00:57:50he will make your life a living hell
00:57:52what if you meet him
00:57:54yeah
00:57:56meet him
00:57:58maybe he'll change your mind
00:57:59maybe
00:58:00maybe you'll actually like him
00:58:01don't count on it
00:58:02please
00:58:04me
00:58:05just give him a chance
00:58:06fine
00:58:08yes
00:58:09only one
00:58:10yes
00:58:12you won't regret it
00:58:14i'm gonna go get the Prosecco
00:58:18you better bring the whole bottle
00:58:22thank you for making dinner
00:58:24of course
00:58:26i'm glad she's cancer free
00:58:28we need to celebrate
00:58:30michelangelo
00:58:32you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me
00:58:36right?
00:58:37you mean besides me
00:58:38i'm serious
00:58:39it's really important to me that you two get along
00:58:41have a glass of wine
00:58:43tonight's gonna be great
00:58:45tonight's gonna be great
00:58:55it's
00:58:57enormous
00:58:59why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:04it's nice to see you too sis
00:59:06nice to finally meet you Betsy
00:59:10hmm
00:59:11so
00:59:13this is the
00:59:15infamous
00:59:16uh
00:59:17michelangelo
00:59:19how about we start off with a glass of champagne
00:59:2396 Dom Perignon
00:59:25Amelia said that's the year that you were born
00:59:27yeah
00:59:28sorry i can't drink that fancy stuff
00:59:30it's worth more than my car
00:59:32why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:37$8.99 at Ralph's
00:59:39it's delicious
00:59:41this was made in France
00:59:43sorry
00:59:44can't touch that stuff
00:59:46so
00:59:47who wants a drink?
00:59:49you
01:00:10hardly touch your food
01:00:12it's
01:00:13a little too
01:00:14rich
01:00:15for me
01:00:17mine tastes great
01:00:18so
01:00:21michelangelo
01:00:22i
01:00:23have some
01:00:24big sister questions to ask about the prenuptials coming up
01:00:27you
01:00:28don't mind
01:00:29do you?
01:00:30fire away
01:00:32so
01:00:33i know you two have been having your
01:00:35fun
01:00:37um
01:00:38but
01:00:39what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:43i don't think it's going to
01:00:45that's cute and all
01:00:47but
01:00:49what about her career?
01:00:50are you gonna support her?
01:00:51or kids?
01:00:52what's your stance on that?
01:00:53or are you just gonna
01:00:55jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58let's see
01:00:59look
01:01:00i know i have a past
01:01:01i have a past
01:01:03but
01:01:04i'm committed to her
01:01:05we haven't talked about kids but
01:01:07i'm open to anything
01:01:08see michelangelo
01:01:09that's my point
01:01:10you two are getting married
01:01:12and you barely know each other
01:01:14we know now
01:01:15easy betsy
01:01:16i just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon
01:01:20and if you really cared about amelia
01:01:23you would give her the time
01:01:25and what makes you such an expert?
01:01:27i don't see a ring on your finger
01:01:29michelangelo
01:01:30you probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now
01:01:33it's no wonder amelia was so uptight when i met her
01:01:35she gets it from you
01:01:37are you gonna let him talk to me like that amelia?
01:01:39you started it
01:01:47why don't we all just calm down?
01:01:50betsy's just looking out for my best interest
01:01:52no
01:01:53she's alone and miserable
01:01:54and trying to drag you down with her
01:01:56that's not fair michelangelo
01:01:57she's not been fair to me since she walked through the door
01:01:59you're the horniest bastard in beverly hills
01:02:01and you're a frigid lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy
01:02:05you know what?
01:02:06you can't talk to betsy like that
01:02:07that's my sister
01:02:08she just survived cancer
01:02:13that doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house
01:02:15this is my house too and she can say whatever she wants
01:02:18not to me
01:02:19you know maybe she should be concerned
01:02:21i don't like this side of you
01:02:22see i told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other
01:02:25but i guess the contract doesn't allow for that
01:02:28you told her?
01:02:29she's my sister
01:02:30i don't care that violates our agreement
01:02:32oh is that all i am to you?
01:02:34a contractual agreement? some kind of obligation?
01:02:37it's not what i meant
01:02:38it came out wrong amelia
01:02:40i love you
01:02:42you love me?
01:02:44don't listen to him
01:02:45he doesn't even know what that means
01:02:46shut the fuck up
01:02:47you know what?
01:02:48maybe she was right
01:02:50i shouldn't have signed that contract
01:02:52it's over
01:02:54we need to get out of here
01:03:01i've seen too many true crime documentaries on netflix to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets
01:03:06it's
01:03:08amelia
01:03:10i know this is hard to hear
01:03:13but
01:03:14you did the right thing
01:03:16you do so much better than him
01:03:19yeah
01:03:20but he isn't a monster
01:03:22i shouldn't have said that
01:03:24we can talk about it on the road
01:03:26get packing
01:03:27and if we leave now
01:03:29we can get to mexico by dawn
01:03:30lay low for a bit
01:03:31mexico
01:03:32or canada
01:03:34whatever
01:03:35it's that or stay here and get sued by the dino lovinos
01:03:39or worse
01:03:40i don't think romulus and michelangelo would sue us
01:03:43i mean
01:03:44i only told you about the contract
01:03:46it's not like i told the media
01:03:48you don't know that
01:03:50we're
01:03:51liabilities
01:03:52loose ends
01:03:53you should listen to more true kind podcast
01:03:56get rid of that thing
01:04:01it could be tracking us right now
01:04:03yeah you know michelangelo did manage to follow me to the echoplex the other night
01:04:08see
01:04:09he could have a sniper on us
01:04:13it's romulus
01:04:18hey romulus
01:04:21what
01:04:22what do you mean gucci's missing
01:04:36you came
01:04:38against my better judgment
01:04:40i'm not happy you've been blowing me off
01:04:43i've just been busy
01:04:45but
01:04:46it's over with now
01:04:49you should
01:04:50punish me for straying
01:04:53you make me sick
01:04:55i make me sick
01:04:57you
01:05:00nice
01:05:06underwear
01:05:08it's a great craftsmanship
01:05:10ok
01:05:14let's get this over with
01:05:20is that all you have to say?
01:05:22Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:26I'm sorry, Chantel.
01:05:30I thought I wanted this.
01:05:33But I don't.
01:05:36I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:41Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:46It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:50Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair.
01:05:55I am fucking devastated.
01:05:58And all her wishes I could take back how I acted.
01:06:01Dad just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:13Amelia?
01:06:16Hi, Dad.
01:06:18Gucci's gone?
01:06:19I'll be right there.
01:06:29Romulus.
01:06:30What?
01:06:30Hold on.
01:06:32Oh.
01:06:33Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house and all of a sudden he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:06:44Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah?
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:52Good.
01:06:53Gucci!
01:06:54This better not be a trap.
01:06:56Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:00Gucci!
01:07:01Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey!
01:07:03Where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:04I thought you were both together.
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:06Oh, um, he's...
01:07:08Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, dude.
01:07:22Here, ladies.
01:07:23Take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:07:25That's it, Dad.
01:07:25Ha, ha, ha.
01:07:26Give me the urc.
01:07:41Gucci!
01:07:47He's hopeless.
01:07:49We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:53We're never gonna find him.
01:07:55Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:56He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:58Keep looking.
01:07:58He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:08:01See?
01:08:02They're not gonna kill us.
01:08:04I do have to admit, though,
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:08He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:23Gucci!
01:08:23My boy's back!
01:08:25Oh!
01:08:32Okay, okay.
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:43I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:50A little.
01:08:53It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia,
01:09:01can we talk?
01:09:06Please?
01:09:09Amelia,
01:09:10can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:14Okay.
01:09:16Okay.
01:09:25Amelia,
01:09:25I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:29I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you
01:09:33for mentioning the contract.
01:09:34I hope that you know you mean so much more to me
01:09:40than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:46I needed to hear that.
01:09:49And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:53You're not one.
01:09:55I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:57Most of them are good.
01:10:01I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:04I'm not.
01:10:08You're not?
01:10:08What do you mean?
01:10:12Amelia,
01:10:12this might sound crazy,
01:10:15but
01:10:15I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:18And I don't want
01:10:20some silly piece of paper
01:10:21to be the reason that we stay together.
01:10:25I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:29Dad.
01:10:31What is it, son?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract
01:10:34between me and Amelia.
01:10:36Why, son?
01:10:38Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:41And not because of some
01:10:43legal obligation,
01:10:45but because she wants to.
01:10:53Consider our contract
01:10:55to Noel and Boyd.
01:11:03Amelia.
01:11:05What will it be?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:32You've made me the happiest
01:11:34underwear model in the world.
01:11:36And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:39Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:42All right, all right, you two.
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast
01:11:53Italian style.
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved,
01:12:05especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:10It was worth a try.
01:12:11And now the bride and groom
01:12:37would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michaelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia.
01:12:45Even though we're far from a perfect couple,
01:12:48we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you
01:12:53in such a short amount of time,
01:12:55and not just about dogs.
01:12:57I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:04I'm looking forward to your support and counsel
01:13:09as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return,
01:13:15I promise to be patient and a loving husband
01:13:21as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare
01:13:24you've always dreamt of.
01:13:30Amelia,
01:13:31you are the only thing better
01:13:33than free underwear.
01:13:34I love you so much.
01:13:44I never thought I would end up
01:13:45with a former man thong model,
01:13:48but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo,
01:13:51you've helped me come out of my shell,
01:13:53and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest,
01:13:55something I hope to do more of
01:13:57on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:13:58And although we haven't spent much time together,
01:14:06it feels like a lifetime,
01:14:08in a good way.
01:14:09I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:12Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:14With the power vested in me
01:14:16by Almighty God
01:14:17and the city of Beverly Hills,
01:14:19I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:28Thanks.
01:14:33I'm Betsy.
01:14:35Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake.
01:14:38Another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy,
01:14:41you know,
01:14:42given my sister,
01:14:43but I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too!
01:14:46Woo!
01:14:48Woo-hoo-hoo!
01:14:49Oh!
01:14:50Class family.
01:14:54She's in the room so tragic,
01:14:58you know.
01:14:58Same thing.
01:15:01Perfect.
01:15:01After all,
01:15:04you know,
01:15:06I don't mind it.
01:15:07You look at all.
01:15:14I don't think I have an entire life.
01:15:16I don't sort of moon.
01:15:18There are a few ghosts in the room
01:15:21where the island will need to be.
01:15:23You know,
01:15:24giving me the place
01:15:27I'm hanging out.
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1:15:01
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