- 11 minutes ago
Coronation Street Monday - 17 November 2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:30Mooji
01:00Sleeve tight, Princess, eh?
01:22Satsang with Mooji
01:52Don't you think I'd know?
01:53Oh, Tim!
01:55They're clever!
01:57They have a way of normalising things that really aren't OK.
02:02So she was clever and I was stupid?
02:04No, she was manipulative.
02:06You were a 14-year-old boy full of hormones.
02:09Yeah, exactly.
02:11Young lads fantasise about that sort of stuff.
02:13Well, fantasies are harmless, but she abused you in real life and now you're back in contact with her again.
02:20Voicemail again?
02:22You pee?
02:22Maybe you're in the shower.
02:26I don't know.
02:26I hope you're not, Todd, because if you are, that's at least another 20 minutes.
02:30You are late for the late counsellor Drake.
02:32Badly done, sir.
02:35Very formal.
02:36How many times do we have to tell him?
02:38The punctuality is the politeness of kings.
02:39Politeness of kings, I know.
02:41Yeah.
02:41A stuck record, aren't I?
02:43No, no, no.
02:43You're an old-school class act.
02:46I'll take that.
02:48And a total stress, Ed.
02:50Yeah, but it's 19 minutes past.
02:52Todd should be here buffing the wheel trims and fetching the order of service.
02:55And the backup CD player.
02:57And the extension.
02:58All right.
02:58Right, right, right, right.
02:59You're spinning out.
03:00Stop it.
03:01Oh.
03:01Never should have left him in the pub.
03:03Big mistake.
03:05Okay, now, I will go to the printers.
03:06You just focus on the tech and the music.
03:10You'll do that?
03:12Yeah.
03:13Oh.
03:14You are a trooper.
03:17It's a day of all days.
03:18To be fair, you know, he might have had an accident.
03:21Huh.
03:21Alcohol poison.
03:22Hmm.
03:30All my worldly goods.
03:31Oh, I am so gonna have a little nosy.
03:34Hmm.
03:35Full disclosure, I've got a Donatello somewhere in its original box, so...
03:39Are we talking about one of them teenage mutant ninja turtle things?
03:42Hero and a half gal.
03:44Wow, that's sweet, but also a lot sad.
03:47Yeah, I just need to explain to Harry that Donatello must stay in the box at all times.
03:51Oh, my goodness.
03:52Okay, well, I'm sure you'll learn how to play nicely.
03:54You know, I had a little breakthrough with Brody yesterday.
03:58Oh, that's good.
04:00How come?
04:00Well, I got him to see, though, he's been a bit too hard on Sally and Tim.
04:04Look at you, Daddy-o.
04:06Well, it's probably a one-off, but you've got to take the winds, haven't you?
04:08Oh, absolutely, yeah.
04:09I'm gonna have it all to come with Harry.
04:11Well, hopefully we've got it all to come, eh?
04:13I like the sound of that.
04:16Um, talking of which, um, Harry and Lily, they're going into town after school, Bethany's taking them, so we're gonna have the place all to ourselves.
04:22Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
04:24Oh, we've got the place to our sauce now, haven't we?
04:27Wow, I can see how you made a detective.
04:29Mm.
04:33Is Megan picking you up after school?
04:35I'll meet her down by the gym later.
04:36You've certainly a spring in your step.
04:39Thanks again, nun, for paying for my sessions.
04:42You're welcome, pet.
04:43There are no pockets in a shroud.
04:46Eh?
04:47It's what they used to bury people in, back in Maggie's day.
04:50Well, good to know.
04:54Laters.
04:55Bye.
04:58You spoil him, ma.
05:00Nana's prerogative.
05:02I've booked a couple of treatments in that salon opposite.
05:06Oh, nice.
05:07And I.
05:09Actually, I was hoping you'd come with.
05:13My treat?
05:13A girly day out, even if it is on our doorstep.
05:18Oh, well, thank you.
05:20That's, that's really generous.
05:24Oh, dear.
05:25I think one blast on the buzzer would probably be enough.
05:28What time is it?
05:29Er, time you got yourself a new alarm clock.
05:32I didn't hear it.
05:34Quarter to nine?
05:35Yep.
05:36Joe's just gonna have a thrombo.
05:38Right, shirt, shower, no, shower, shirt.
05:41Is he going mad?
05:41I set my alarm.
05:43It must not...
05:45I need to iron a shirt.
05:46Why didn't it go off?
05:47Look, just, the, the, the, the, the, the, a post-mortem can wait.
05:50All right, you just give me the shirt.
05:51You go and get a one-minute shower, you, you reek of ale.
05:54Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:56Theo must have put the ironing pile in the machine.
05:59All four of my white shirts are in there.
06:01No.
06:02All right, just, just let me text him.
06:04Hang on.
06:05All right, be with you in ten.
06:08Panic over.
06:08In a blue shirt, with a dinner medal.
06:13For our biggest funeral ever.
06:14Panic very much on.
06:18Don't worry, Todd.
06:19It'll be fine.
06:20Might be nice.
06:21All right, just look to, just get there as soon as you can, all right, love?
06:25See you, mate.
06:28See you.
06:29That looks healthy.
06:39Yeah, that's the idea.
06:41Up my protein.
06:43Yeah, I get that.
06:45Do you?
06:47Well, from your point of view, yeah.
06:50Right, so we're no further forward than you and me.
06:53I wish I could say the right thing to flick that switch in your brain.
06:57I think it's a bit more complicated than that.
06:59Well, it is and it isn't.
07:00The medical risks may be, but the big question is, is she worth it?
07:04And that one's easy.
07:06For you, and I love you for it, but I'm just not quite there yet.
07:11Well, that sounds promising.
07:14Can you hear the old cogs whirring?
07:17The appointment's 22 hours away.
07:19We're on the clock.
07:20Yeah, I know.
07:23Right, I'm just nipping out on you and get some kibble for David.
07:26Okay.
07:27All right, love you.
07:29Love you.
07:31See you.
07:41Shouldn't you be aware?
07:43What are you doing?
07:43Oh, great.
07:44My white shirts are ready.
07:46White shi...
07:47Oh, tell me I didn't.
07:48I got confused.
07:49The shirts, the tin lid.
07:51I mean, I forgot to charge my phone.
07:53Slept through the alarm.
07:54Why didn't you wake me up?
07:56You are kidding.
07:57The last thing I said to you is you need to get up.
07:59You've got a big day and you said, I know.
08:01I've got no recollection of that.
08:03You're calling me a liar.
08:04No.
08:06Of course not.
08:07Tried and tried to get you to go to bed, but it weren't happening.
08:11I'm sorry.
08:11Look, look, I put a bucket there, a pint of water, a couple of paracetamol.
08:15I really am sorry.
08:17All right, this is on me.
08:19You need to get a banana down you, eh?
08:21Bit of potassium.
08:22Do you want me to peel it for you?
08:23I think even I can manage that.
08:25Oh, George is going to have a field day.
08:30George knows you're his biggest ass here, all right?
08:33When you can be bothered to turn up, that is.
08:37Oh, dear.
08:38Look, have a good day, eh?
08:39Hey, Roy.
08:47Just got your text.
08:48Is everything all right?
08:49Yes, yes, sir.
08:50I just wanted to give you this.
08:53Her outfit.
08:55Oh.
08:58Oh, you're going to die.
09:00Yeah.
09:01Oh.
09:02I thought I could add some other bits for birthday is Christmas.
09:06Roy, you are the kindest, thank you.
09:09Can you stay for a coffee?
09:11Eh, Beth's not.
09:12The nursery you've been on.
09:13He's running a temperature, so they want me to go and pick him up.
09:16And bangles my counselling session.
09:18Oh.
09:19Can't Carl take care of him?
09:21Oh, no, he's at work.
09:23Well, could he ask Debbie?
09:25She wouldn't be grudging the time.
09:27It's her nephew, after all.
09:29Yeah, but I don't think Carl would be too chuffed.
09:33But doesn't he understand that helping out for an hour or so
09:37is beneficial for a new family?
09:40Yeah.
09:41Yeah, you know what?
09:41And even if he doesn't, what's an hour in the great scheme of things?
09:45Oh, quite.
09:46Right, well, I'm going to go and rain on Carl's parade.
09:48Thank you for the pep talk.
09:50And thank you for...
09:51See you later.
09:52Pleasure.
09:58You look smashing.
10:02You saved the day.
10:03You're always trying to pick up my part.
10:06Hold this, Todd.
10:11Is that a blue shirt?
10:12Who's this old burgundy?
10:15A blue shirt.
10:18An hour and 57 minutes late.
10:20In a blue shirt.
10:21All right.
10:22Well, look, he's here now, isn't he?
10:23Come on, you just focus on Councillor...
10:25What was his name?
10:26Drake.
10:27Councillor Drake.
10:28Good of you to remember.
10:30I'm sure this widow will be very moved by your professionalism.
10:33Have you got the, um, backup CD for Jerusalem?
10:37You haven't left?
10:39Well, I'm just trying to help.
10:40Right, and St Faith's has never got an extension cable.
10:43Everything's in hand.
10:44Thanks to Christina here.
10:46She stepped up while you were rotting in your pit.
10:49Ung over.
10:50Look, I know this isn't even going to touch the sides,
10:53but I am so, so sorry, George.
10:58You're not fit for purpose.
11:01I'm standing you down.
11:04Chrissie, hop in.
11:07I'm not fit, George.
11:10We undertake to see people out of this world.
11:14We undertake to do a good, respectable job.
11:19Go on, love.
11:25Let's get going, then.
11:27Chop, chop.
11:27Chop.
11:28So, jojoba oil is really good for moisturising the skin
11:54and it can help reduce the appearance of wrinkles.
11:57Do you hear that, Eva?
11:58All is not lost.
12:00I'm treating her.
12:02Yes, you said.
12:03That's very generous.
12:04Well, she is very generous.
12:05I'll give her that.
12:07I saw the girl looking at her crow's feet.
12:09I said to myself, Maggie, I said, throw money at that.
12:13You are stunning.
12:14Oh, stop it.
12:15Anyway, it's lovely having a mother-in-law
12:17and a daughter-in-law in the salon.
12:20They're not married.
12:22Oh, yes.
12:23Well, you know what I mean.
12:25OK, well, next we're going to do a nice relaxing hand massage,
12:28geranium oil and arnica.
12:29You better slather that on both of us.
12:33Hands and necks, they're the giveaways.
12:35And you never know when some handsome toy boy
12:38might swipe me off my feet
12:40and set me gently into my stair lift.
12:46Right, you can order what you want
12:47as long as it's no more than three quid each.
12:49Well, I was thinking $2.75, actually.
12:52I'll tell you what, I'll split you the difference.
12:54Three quid.
12:55Why don't you treat yourself and have a breadstick?
12:57Ah, hilarious.
12:58See, they're not mad with each other anymore.
13:00Oh, no, you don't have to worry about ours.
13:03No, worrying's our job.
13:04We worry about you three.
13:05Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.
13:07Well, it's Chief Broder's job to be a bit sulk, ain't it?
13:09It does it so well.
13:22That's annual, yeah? That's done.
13:24Yeah.
13:24Look at you two being all professional.
13:27That's us.
13:28Well, me, anyway.
13:29He seems funny.
13:30I know, is it? For a fact.
13:33Noted.
13:33In other news, poor old Alfie's not well,
13:36so one of you needs to pick him up from nursery.
13:38And here's a clue.
13:40It's not you.
13:42Don't look at me. I'm working.
13:44Well, I've got that thing that I can't get out of.
13:47Oh, that therapy thing.
13:49All right, gob.
13:50Hey.
13:51No judgment here.
13:53Plus, I'm not even listening.
13:57Sorry, I didn't realise it was a state secret.
13:59Well, such a heartfelt apology.
14:01Can't someone else pick him up?
14:02No.
14:02You've drawn the short straw.
14:06Okay.
14:07Okay.
14:09And I've told the nursery you're on your way, so...
14:11You'll get a crick, Nick.
14:21Yeah, well, I thought I saw somebody I know.
14:23Liar.
14:24Oh, got an eyelash.
14:28Oh, let me see.
14:29Oh, no, it's fine.
14:31Will you stop it?
14:3317, 18 tops.
14:35It's none of our business, is it?
14:39How's your coat?
14:40Floats your night away in, all right?
14:41Sick.
14:41Wicked.
14:44Right.
14:44Back in a sec.
14:45Where are you going?
14:47Just stick my head above the parapet,
14:48cos somebody has to.
14:50Please don't.
14:51Don't what?
14:52Rock the boat?
14:52Do the right thing.
14:54Go stick in your size nines in other people's business.
14:58What's she doing?
14:59What?
15:00Oh, nothing.
15:01Enjoying your lunch?
15:02Enjoying it.
15:03Cat, thank you.
15:04Come here.
15:06Rory is my nephew, actually.
15:09Not that it's any of your business.
15:11Hello, Rory.
15:13Look, I'm really sorry to interrupt your lunch.
15:15It's just I'm a bit worried about you.
15:17I'm fine.
15:18Well, is she your auntie?
15:21Cos she can tell me the truth.
15:22Yes.
15:24Stop giving her a hard time.
15:27Who's she?
15:29She is absolutely nobody.
15:32Come on, let's go.
15:33I'm, er...
15:33Oh, what, you're embarrassed?
15:36I think there are far worse things in life than embarrassment,
15:39don't you?
15:42I'll play on the way out.
15:43You go away to the car.
15:44I don't know what I was thinking.
15:55I thought I was doing you a favour.
15:57It's OK.
15:58I shouldn't have got wrecked.
16:00Well, that was my fault and all.
16:01Must have played the blame game.
16:05I thought these, um...
16:06these bells and whistles funerals went on and on.
16:09Yeah, they do.
16:11George stood me down.
16:12You what?
16:14What, he didn't let you go?
16:16Don't blame him.
16:18But you're a partner.
16:20Junior partner.
16:21But you're still a partner.
16:22You're not of work experience.
16:24You are brilliant at what you do.
16:27Yeah.
16:27I mean, I am pretty good.
16:30Well, normally.
16:32I'd have stood me down.
16:34You listen to yourself.
16:36So what?
16:37You turned up a bit late.
16:38I mean, you came in good faith.
16:40Looking the best you could.
16:42I mean, George should be judging this on aggregate.
16:44You know, credit in the bank of goodwill.
16:47I love that you've got me back.
16:49Yeah, look, you need to stick up for yourself.
16:52Yeah.
16:54Look, he knows this is our character, right?
16:56Well, yeah, I mean, very much so.
16:58Unheard of.
16:59Well, you deserve better.
17:01You do.
17:03Don't just roll over and die, Todd.
17:05Hey.
17:05I'm afraid we've no sausage rolls left.
17:15Oh, you're happy with soup, aren't you, Alfie, lad?
17:18You know?
17:19Yeah.
17:20I went to the same child school as his mum.
17:22Hey, Alfie, what have you been up to?
17:30Me?
17:31Alfie?
17:32Alfie, if you're not going to finish that, we're going, OK?
17:37Alfie, I've got to get to work.
17:38Will you grab your bag, please?
17:39No.
17:40Oh, Chariot Square.
17:43For some reason, they think I can be in two places at once.
17:46Childcare can be a juggling act.
17:49Kev, would you, um, mind him for a couple of hours, please?
17:53Yeah.
17:54Not for you, though.
17:56Noted.
17:56Hey, you want to hang out, Alfie?
17:59Oh, you better check with Abby first.
18:01I make my own decisions, thank you very much.
18:03I'll see you later, mate.
18:04All right.
18:06Hey.
18:07You enjoying that, Alfie?
18:09Oh, girls are just touching up the lip balm.
18:12You mean playing with hand drives?
18:14Oh, yeah.
18:14My two used to do that as well.
18:16Oh, were you dead strict?
18:19Oh, really?
18:21I mean, I was all over the shop, but it's harder now, you know, with mobile phones and
18:25social media and cyberbullying and all that.
18:29Yeah, I suppose.
18:31Ooh, the silent treatment.
18:34Tim's go-to defence mechanism.
18:36Don't be dragging Brody into it, love.
18:40You're the one making a scene, Tim.
18:41All right, you two.
18:43Be nice or I'll be straight to bed.
18:48Is that your ex, mate?
18:49You can't help it, can you?
18:51I'm just joking.
18:52Well, don't.
18:54Learn some respect.
18:57It's all right, Brody.
18:58Honestly, it doesn't mean it.
19:01Don't speak for me.
19:04Um, well...
19:06Cheers for them, Sally.
19:06Well, I am done for, Doris.
19:15I'll get you some black patent loafers.
19:18A nice cushioned insole.
19:19Can you wait till I'm 90?
19:22Oh.
19:23Oh.
19:27How was it?
19:31Respectful.
19:33You went very well from here.
19:34No thanks to me, eh?
19:40Couldn't have done it without you, Chrissie.
19:42You know what?
19:43A nice three-course meal and a posh red
19:45is all the thanks I require.
19:47Least I can do.
19:50Councillor Drake got the send-off he deserves.
19:52We pulled it out of the fire, kiddo.
19:55Thee and me.
19:57I've said that I'm sorry.
20:00Yeah, well, talk's cheap, innit?
20:01Cancer collection.
20:07Stick it in the safe, will you?
20:12Was the mayor there, then?
20:13In all the regalia?
20:15Oh, yeah, yeah.
20:17Full chain and ermine and...
20:19Gazette's photographer was there
20:21and the journalist from The Evening Times was there and...
20:25Not even listening to you.
20:29I am.
20:31No point in feign an interest now, Todd.
20:34Where were you at half past seven this morning?
20:37Day late and a dollar short.
20:39Dinner medals down your shirt.
20:41Your blue shirt.
20:42Oh, bring back the death penalty.
20:43Oh, that's the ticket.
20:45Mr. Facetious.
20:46When you're in the wrong, go for backchat.
20:48I...
20:49I overslept.
20:50I'm sorry.
20:52Very sorry.
20:53You got hammered the night before a very important funeral.
20:57Shuttleworths was in the spotlight.
20:59If it hadn't been for Christina here,
21:00Shuttleworths would have been found wanting.
21:02Oh, you love to pontificate, don't you?
21:04Well, I've got plenty of ammo, haven't I?
21:06I mean, your antics this morning.
21:07That was just the tip of the iceberg.
21:08Oh, really?
21:11Detail is everything in this game.
21:14Since your love life picked up,
21:16your pride in your work,
21:17well, that's fallen off a cliff, hasn't it?
21:18That is rubbish.
21:19I tried to give you a steer.
21:21It's a big day, Todd.
21:23Don't get bladdered, Todd.
21:24I need your ship-shape and Bristol-fashion, Todd.
21:28Oh, no, I won't, George.
21:29Honest, George.
21:29This is me last one, George.
21:31I promise you, George.
21:33You play me for a fool.
21:35You've taken advantage of the ties that bind.
21:37Well, that used to bind.
21:39Right, love, come on now.
21:41Come on, you made your point.
21:44Look, fundamentally, you two are pals, aren't you?
21:47Pals?
21:48He talks to me like I'm a six-year-old.
21:50Now, speak as a find.
21:51Oh, wordplay.
21:52So clever.
21:53You let me down.
21:54Bore off.
21:55Bore off?
21:57Bore off?
21:57Have you heard this?
21:59She's six inches away from you.
22:00Be a bit worried if she didn't.
22:02Oh, I can...
22:02Captain...
22:03Captive facetious.
22:04Yeah, yeah, very good.
22:05You want to tell this stand-up, he needs some new material.
22:08Get out.
22:10Go on, get out of me sight!
22:11Do you not think you ought to go after him?
22:33After that mouthful?
22:34Well, you gave him some back.
22:36Hmm.
22:36I'd have given him the old flaming lot had he stayed any longer.
22:40All right, well...
22:42Maybe it's best to let him cool off, but come on, when he comes back to apologise, try to be nice.
22:46Nice?
22:47I'm washing me hands of him.
22:48Oh, come on, you don't mean that.
22:51He was just a...
22:52Just a row while he was hung over.
22:54Don't blow it out of all proportion.
22:57I told him time and time again how important that service was, and he just went out of his way to mess things up.
23:02He's always been self-centred.
23:04Oh, come on, aren't we all?
23:06Is it really worth losing him over, eh?
23:09I'm not the one who's in the wrong here, Chrissie.
23:11I'm not saying you are.
23:12I'm just saying...
23:14Be the bigger person.
23:18Oh, dear me.
23:20Well, if I can't get you to reconsider, can I at least get you to buy me that drink you promised me?
23:24Agro's kick-started a bit of a headache.
23:27Shouldn't you take some tablets?
23:28Not unless it tastes like the mole, bet you promise me.
23:30No, I can't.
23:32Come on.
23:34Shanice, I don't think you should have your elbows on the table, Mum.
23:37It's a bit late for table manners, don't you?
23:40I'm not the one who made Brody leave.
23:42You're the one that stormed over to Trisha making her right fuss, pounding the odds.
23:45No, it feels like a normal dinner.
23:47Mum and Dad always fight.
23:48Hey, look, we're not fighting.
23:50It's...
23:51Why don't we choose a pudding, eh?
23:54Oh, is that a bad idea after the dentist?
23:56No, it shouldn't be mandatory.
23:57Although I don't think the servant will die.
23:59Oh, Tim, you just stop it.
24:03I ask you a question.
24:04Yeah, go for it.
24:06How come you and your mum have got different accents?
24:09Or is it I'm too drunk when I'm in here?
24:11That, David, is a long story.
24:13But the short one is she moved up to Belfast from Galway when she married my dad.
24:17Ah, so no smooth accent for you, then?
24:22Name's smoothing off as it is, man.
24:26Oi.
24:28Thought you were going shot.
24:31Well, yeah, I did.
24:32But I was having a walk and I needed a refreshment.
24:36That better be non-alcoholic.
24:38Full fart, why?
24:40What is the point of us going all healthy if you're in here necking beers?
24:44It's uno bottle, singular.
24:46It's full of sugar.
24:48Yeah, and it's glorious.
24:50I can cut them off if you like.
24:51Yes, please.
24:52Mmm!
24:53No!
24:53Can I at least enjoy this one, then?
24:56No!
24:57I've got a butternut squash salad waiting at home.
24:59Well, it's not like it's getting cold.
25:01It was lovingly prepared.
25:02Do you know, I think it's brilliant what you're doing.
25:04Eating healthy during pregnancy.
25:06See, if that was Eva, I'd support her 100%.
25:09Thank you, Ben.
25:10It's a private conversation.
25:12In a public place.
25:13Here, be careful flashing those scan photos around.
25:16If I give Eva ideas, she'll be wanting all the details.
25:19Right.
25:20You can finish that, but that's the last.
25:22Right.
25:25Hi, love you, babe.
25:26You all right?
25:26Yeah.
25:27Hi, you.
25:28Oh, hi, Dan.
25:29I'll see you at home.
25:30All right.
25:31Now, Audrey, I want you to plant yourself in that booth
25:34and the wine will be flowing shortly.
25:36Oh, thank you so much.
25:38If only all my customers offered me a drink on the house, eh?
25:42The Glam Squad returns.
25:44How was it?
25:45Yeah, it was really lovely.
25:46I feel pampered and relaxed.
25:49But I have to say,
25:50the best part was spending some time with you, Eva.
25:53Oh, really?
25:55I mean it.
25:56We're all so busy day to day
25:58to take some time out
26:00to have a few moments to relax together.
26:03It's just what the doctor ordered.
26:05Oh, thank you.
26:07I had a lovely time, too.
26:08And look at her face now, Ben.
26:11Isn't it glowing?
26:14Ben, I am going to sit with my new friend
26:16and you will deliver a bottle of wine.
26:18A very special one.
26:20This particular bottle has no bottom.
26:23I'm sure we can do that.
26:27All right.
26:28Spill the beans.
26:29How was it, really?
26:30No, I wasn't liking it.
26:31I honestly had a really lovely time.
26:34I mean, clearly she's had a bang to the head,
26:36but fingers crossed it'll last.
26:37Or maybe you've ground her down.
26:39My money was on the other way around.
26:42Hmm, we'll see.
26:44But I do think that bonding over will
26:45has been really good for us.
26:47Right.
26:48Go and you light some candles,
26:49jump in the bath,
26:50and I look after the kids.
26:51Amazing.
26:52Are you going to be all right with them, too?
26:55You've tamed her.
26:56I'll be fine.
27:00Oh, I can see why you're selling it.
27:02You aren't.
27:02Well, you don't scream sexy, does it?
27:04I'd always, I don't know,
27:05pictured you more in a soft-top four-by-four.
27:09You know, like the one at the end of Back to the Future.
27:11Yeah, whatever.
27:12What's going to you?
27:13I was only pulling your leg.
27:14Haven't you got some brother to be sleeping with?
27:17Excuse me?
27:18Not enough banter for you.
27:20Have we got a problem here?
27:21Well, if you keep your thoughts to yourself now.
27:24Good luck selling that.
27:25I hope you get rinsed for it.
27:26Listen, I know you like this show, but I'm out.
27:46I can't watch a riot with four people.
27:48It's not enough.
27:49What?
27:49Well, it takes 12 people to legally riot.
27:52It's not factually correct.
27:54Well, you're not a plat,
27:55cos it only takes a couple of us to kick off.
27:57Well, does it?
27:58You know, I've reached for my riot girl in one morning.
28:01But you have.
28:03Oh, you wait till Christmas Day.
28:05Do a good impression of civil war.
28:06Is your kit in?
28:09Yeah.
28:10Oh, sound.
28:12Everything OK?
28:13Well, it is now.
28:14Dip from some meal with Sally and Tim.
28:16Tim was being well, Mardy,
28:18and I've left the girls learning which thought does what, you know.
28:21Can I get you a drink?
28:24Oh, a brew would be nice.
28:27And I don't suppose you have any food, do you?
28:29I think I've got some oven chips in the freezer.
28:32Oh!
28:33Whack an egg on that one with your mates for life.
28:36Oh, Sarah, do you have any footy channels?
28:38I'm gagging to see the highlights.
28:42What?
28:45Oh, by the way, I've done your shirts,
28:47but I've not ironed them cos I know you're specific with it.
28:50Thanks.
28:51So much's happened, hasn't it?
28:57Me and George have had a row.
29:00A small one?
29:02Pretty sizable.
29:04How did you leave it?
29:08I mean, should you go and see him, or...?
29:10Not until we both calm down.
29:13Well, why don't we go for a run,
29:17so you can clear your head?
29:19A run?
29:19I was thinking more of a box set,
29:21and don't worry, I won't do the whole crisps thing.
29:24No, no, no, no, no, no.
29:25It's the worst thing you can do.
29:26You sit and fester.
29:27Look, come on.
29:28Let's get changed,
29:29and let's clear out that negative energy.
29:31Eh?
29:31Hopefully we'll see you in the salon again soon.
29:39Oh, I don't mean that'll happen.
29:42The together bit.
29:44You'll see me, regular as clockwork,
29:46but I won't pay for her again.
29:49Oh, really?
29:50It seems like you get on dead well.
29:52Oh, keep your friends close.
29:53And your son's latest mistake firmly where you can see her.
30:00What Ben sees in her, I'll never know.
30:02I stopped saying that to our girl after the third wedding.
30:08God loves a trier.
30:11Right, I'm off.
30:12Anti-duties.
30:13See you later.
30:14Bye.
30:15Isn't she beautiful?
30:17She got all your good genes, Audrey.
30:20Oh.
30:23Um.
30:25People don't normally ask me that.
30:27What would I do if I wasn't an undertaker?
30:30Well, it'd have to be something to do with people,
30:33because I'm a people person.
30:35Says the fellow who works with the dead.
30:42You need to sort it out with Todd.
30:43Can we just forget about that?
30:46When you were with Eileen,
30:47did you used to fake your feelings for him?
30:50No.
30:51Of course not.
30:53No, so I'm sure that he started to feel like a son.
30:57And you don't walk away from your family.
31:02There's your mummy, look.
31:03He's bad.
31:06Well, he seems brighter.
31:08Yeah, it's amazing what a chocolate milkshake can do,
31:10and being with a responsible adult.
31:14What do you mean by that?
31:15Oh, next time you palm him off,
31:18do us all a favour, eh?
31:19And, er, don't let it be calm.
31:21I didn't palm him off.
31:23He must have had something better to do, I expect.
31:26He didn't say what.
31:28He asked you to take him?
31:29Wasn't much of a ask,
31:31more of I'm off.
31:33I don't care what you two get up to in your spare time,
31:35but Alfie's got to be a priority.
31:38He is.
31:39Kevin, I had no part in this.
31:40I needed to be somewhere,
31:41and I trusted Carl to look after him.
31:43Yeah, well, that's your problem.
31:44Trusting him with anything.
31:46So, er,
31:48how's he been?
31:49Fine.
31:50I had cope already, but
31:51whatever it was,
31:52he seems to have got over it.
31:55I had therapy.
31:56I wasn't just abandoning him.
31:57Well, like I say,
31:58I don't care about anything.
32:00Just him.
32:00And you think I don't?
32:02Right.
32:03Bye, Alfie.
32:04You have a good day.
32:18You abandon me,
32:19son, the least you can do is pick the phone up.
32:23Hey, darling, shall we go home?
32:25Come on in.
32:30Let's see.
32:41Good.
32:43Look.
32:45Get this down here.
32:47Help speed up your metabolism.
32:48Is this really necessary?
32:50Yeah.
32:51Look, don't be that guy
32:52who bails at the first sign of hard work.
32:55I just don't think running's my thing.
32:57Hmm.
32:58Of course it is.
33:00Can't really defend your levels of fitness
33:01if you're bailing after 5k.
33:05Look,
33:05I was so happy
33:07to finally think I'd found a boyfriend
33:09who wanted to, you know,
33:10grow
33:10and get better.
33:12I thought it might have been your exes
33:14holding you back,
33:15but turns out you might just be lazy.
33:16Look, can we not just drop it, all right?
33:18I can't cope with a deep analysis
33:20of my failings, all right?
33:21Not today.
33:22Well, that's your problem.
33:23You need to flip your mindset
33:24to hit back control,
33:25otherwise you get into a negative spiral.
33:27I don't think that's fair.
33:28Oh, come on, Till,
33:29be honest with yourself.
33:31I see it all the time.
33:32The slightest thing sets you down off the edge
33:33and down you go.
33:35Look, I love you,
33:36but it's exhausting to watch.
33:38Look, we don't have to talk about it
33:39if you don't want it.
33:40If I want to, all right?
33:41I'll go for a shower.
33:42Hiya.
33:55Thanks for picking up.
33:57Yeah, I, um,
33:58think we need to talk.
34:00Look, I'm sorry for what I did.
34:03I just...
34:04Well, I wasn't expecting to see her.
34:06I couldn't help it.
34:07I just don't like the way
34:08she's popping up
34:09in our lives all the time.
34:11I just want to forget about it, love.
34:13Tim, you do need to talk about it.
34:16Otherwise, you're just going to
34:17take it out on the wrong people
34:19like Brody.
34:20He wasn't to know.
34:22And you were just as shocked
34:24as I was to see her,
34:25especially with a young boy.
34:29We need more milk.
34:31Tim, don't leave mid-conversation.
34:33This isn't a conversation, love.
34:35Do you need anything?
34:45Oh, you're home early, aren't you?
34:47Can you keep your voice down,
34:48Alfie's having a nap?
34:49And I'd rather an explanation
34:51as to what exactly
34:52you think you're playing at.
34:53I asked you to watch him.
34:54Oh, yeah, how is he?
34:56How is he?
34:57You should know.
34:58You were meant to be here.
35:00Me or Kev, what does it matter?
35:02It matters because I asked you
35:03and it's not often I do.
35:06Why are you getting upset?
35:08It's hard enough
35:10as it is leaving him.
35:11And then Kev used it
35:12as yet another thing
35:13to have a go at me about.
35:14It's not my fault.
35:15Shall we try this again
35:17and you sound like you actually care?
35:21You let me down.
35:23Alfie isn't just something
35:24you can pass off.
35:25I didn't.
35:27Abby, everything's manic
35:28at the hotel right now.
35:29So I'm trying to keep
35:30on top of it for Debbie.
35:31I bumped into Kev
35:32and he practically
35:33bit me hand off
35:33trying to spend some time with him.
35:34So you did ask him to do it?
35:36Yeah, I did.
35:37But I could see
35:38that he was hoping I would.
35:40Abby, he's me brother.
35:41I do have some compassion
35:42and it meant that
35:45I could cover for Debbie,
35:46you could do your therapy
35:47and Kevin got to spend
35:48some time with Alfie.
35:50Everyone was meant to be happy.
35:52I thought you were shirking.
35:56Why would I do that
35:57when I've looked after him before?
35:58Or could it be
36:01that my dear brother Kevin's
36:02trying to stir the pot a bit?
36:04Hmm?
36:06Come on.
36:08How is he?
36:10Yeah, he's...
36:12He seems all right.
36:13I think he's probably just
36:14a false alarm.
36:18Oh, I'm sorry.
36:20I'm so sorry.
36:21I love you.
36:23I love you.
36:30You looking for me?
36:32Oh, hi.
36:34Er, no.
36:35No, but...
36:36It was your wife.
36:38Really.
36:38A mouthful she gave me.
36:41I just...
36:41I didn't know what to say
36:43to my nephew.
36:44So you thought you'd come
36:45and kick off.
36:47She can't go around
36:48implying things like that.
36:51It's not right.
36:53And it could get me
36:54into a lot of trouble.
36:55Well, what she says
36:56is up to her, isn't it?
36:57Not when she's implying
36:59that I did something wrong
37:00because I didn't.
37:01I did...
37:02I didn't do anything bad
37:05to you, did I?
37:08Well, she said it now.
37:09I doubt she'll say it again.
37:11Right.
37:12Well...
37:13Well, good.
37:15And...
37:15I know she is bound
37:17to think the worst of me,
37:19but...
37:20we know what it was.
37:25Yeah, well...
37:26I'm not giving it much thought,
37:28to be honest.
37:29Well, then.
37:31And...
37:32Look, I...
37:33I'm glad to see
37:34everything's turned out
37:35so well for you.
37:37Genuinely, I am,
37:39so, uh...
37:40You, um...
37:42You take care of yourself.
37:44All right?
37:57Hey!
37:58Still want to curl up
37:59and watch a box, sir?
38:00I honestly don't mind.
38:02I know it was hard
38:03on you before.
38:04Can we just leave it
38:05for today?
38:06No, Todd.
38:06You need to break
38:07these cycles.
38:08A cycle?
38:10I had an argument.
38:12I'm allowed to be angry.
38:14Just let me get over it.
38:15Yeah, but you don't, though.
38:16And then I'm the one
38:17who has to deal with it.
38:18Your mood pulls mine down.
38:20What do you want from me?
38:23You clearly haven't understood
38:24a word I've just said, have you?
38:25I'm the issue, apparently.
38:27My mood is bleeding onto you.
38:29This isn't about me.
38:31Maybe I'm wrong
38:32and maybe you don't want my advice
38:34or maybe I'm supposed to just
38:35let you wallow.
38:37I don't know,
38:37but you can't tell me
38:38that this is healthy behaviour.
38:39It's me.
38:44Can I come up?
38:46You've got to get rid of him.
38:47I can't deal with him.
38:48Not now.
38:49You're going to have to
38:50because I'm the one
38:50who called him.
38:52If you won't take control
38:54of your behaviour,
38:55I guess I have to.
39:01Mmm.
39:03What's this?
39:06Lion's mane.
39:08What's that when it's at home?
39:09It's a mushroom powder.
39:11It's for mental clarity.
39:13And that one's just for you.
39:16Mushrooms?
39:17I'm not going to be wearing
39:18tie-dye T-shirts, am I?
39:21Singing Kumbaya
39:22with me guitar around campfire.
39:23That kind of mushroom.
39:25Now you have one pill
39:26in your tea every day.
39:27Oh.
39:2840 quid!
39:30Well, yeah,
39:31it's going to last us a whole month.
39:33I bet.
39:35No wonder you want me
39:36to give up the booze.
39:36You can't bloomin' afford it.
39:38I mean, wrong game, aren't I?
39:40I mean, dogs should be up
39:41red wreck foraging.
39:4335 quid we charge.
39:45Weatherfield, Maine.
39:47Well, good health costs money.
39:49Yeah, I bet.
39:51Still, don't need to set up
39:52a crowdfunding campaign, do we?
39:56Oh, speaking of which,
39:58talking to folk giving and all what,
40:00I did have a bit of a thought.
40:02Don't you think now
40:05is a good time to start telling people
40:07what's been going on?
40:08No, David.
40:10Just hear me out.
40:12I don't mean, like, broadcast it.
40:14I just meant to those that are
40:15closest, you know?
40:16I just don't want to be treated
40:18any differently.
40:20And I get that,
40:21but I'm saying
40:21maybe we need to be.
40:25I mean, if we don't tell people
40:26what's been going on,
40:27how else are they going to know
40:28to offer a bit of help
40:29and support?
40:31That's all.
40:34So just think about it, okay?
40:35I'll, er, leave you two to chat.
40:47I'm glad Theo called me to come round.
40:50That makes one of us.
40:51I, er,
41:01walked past a few times, but
41:03I didn't pluck up the courage to ring.
41:10I don't like what was said
41:11or how it ended.
41:15I want you to know that I'm sorry.
41:21You're right.
41:26I messed up.
41:28But benefit of the doubt
41:29might have been nice.
41:31It's not like I drop the ball very often.
41:33I know.
41:36And it got me thinking.
41:39Well, I say that.
41:41Christina got me thinking.
41:46The first thing I should have done
41:47was ask if you were okay.
41:49You've got a new mental health policy
41:51at work that I don't know about.
41:53No.
41:56But she's right.
41:59You know, with your mum gone,
42:01I should have asked first
42:04and shouted later.
42:07If at all.
42:11So is there?
42:14Anything else I should know about?
42:19Everything's fine.
42:29You sure?
42:32Because you really don't seem yourself.
42:36You'd know, would you?
42:38Five minutes you've been here,
42:40you're trying to be my father figure.
42:41I just need some peace.
42:47Where's this coming from?
42:50This isn't you.
42:52Who do you want me to be, then?
42:54Eh?
42:55Tell me.
42:56What am I supposed to be saying
42:57or doing or thinking?
42:59Tell me,
43:00because I don't know what you expect
43:02from one minute to the next.
43:03Your constant judgment.
43:04I am always failing,
43:07no matter how hard I try
43:08to reach your impossible standards.
43:12All right?
43:12I am human.
43:13I have got limits.
43:16I am not a bad person.
43:19I'm not.
43:21Todd.
43:22Get out.
43:25Come on, mate.
43:26I don't want your job.
43:27I don't want your pity.
43:28All right?
43:28I quit.
43:29Get out.
43:29Get out.
43:30Get out, George.
43:31Go!
43:32Go!
43:57You self-centered,
43:58pathetic little man.
44:01I don't want your pity.
44:02I don't want your pity.
44:03I don't want your pity.
44:04I don't want your pity.
44:05I don't want your pity.
44:06I don't want your pity.
44:07I don't want your pity.
44:08I don't want your pity.
44:09I don't want your pity.
44:10I don't want your pity.
44:11I don't want your pity.
44:12I don't want your pity.
44:13I don't want your pity.
44:14I don't want your pity.
44:15I don't want your pity.
44:16I don't want your pity.
44:17I don't want your pity.
44:18I don't want your pity.
44:19I don't want your pity.
44:20I don't want your pity.
44:21I don't want your pity.
44:22I don't want your pity.
44:23I don't want your pity.
44:24I don't want your pity.
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