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  • 2 days ago

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01:00I was hypnotized by the world inside our television.
01:06It seemed so far away that it couldn't possibly be real.
01:09Until it was.
01:10From Vegas to Newfoundland, the greatest hypnotist on earth.
01:16Four.
01:17I am Hudero.
01:19Two.
01:20One.
01:21And you'll become a famous opera star.
01:25Now you're Napoleon.
01:27And you're a kangaroo.
01:29You're Elvis.
01:29This is no good.
01:31This chair's old.
01:33So are you.
01:34You don't see me throwing you away.
01:35You're two years old.
01:39They said I was dancing like a chicken, but I don't remember a thing.
01:43Hudero is amazing.
01:46Don't miss your chance to see the unfathomable Hudero.
01:50Can we go?
01:51Can we please?
01:52He can't be any good if he's coming here.
01:55Hudero.
01:55Hudero.
01:55Hudero.
01:55Hudero.
01:56Hudero.
01:56Hudero.
01:56Hudero.
01:56Hudero.
01:59Hudero.
02:00Two nights only, St. John's.
02:02Don't miss your...
02:02He's playing at school.
02:03No way.
02:04Must be terrible.
02:05All right, we'll go.
02:07Ho, ho, ho, ho.
02:07Being a newsman, the old man loved a train wreck.
02:12Mark, I found your math test.
02:14Did you hide this so I wouldn't find it?
02:16Will I be in less trouble if I answer honestly?
02:18You were spending too much time glued to that idiot box.
02:21No show for you until you get your grades up.
02:23But, Mom, it's just a quiz.
02:24The actual test is on Friday.
02:26Come on, Mary.
02:27Let the boy...
02:281750?
02:30Good God.
02:31Listen to your mother.
02:32You're not going.
02:32Don't you dare miss it.
02:37Good news.
02:40It's not me.
02:42It's not the chair.
02:43It was my pants.
02:46They were too tight.
02:49Oh, much better.
02:53Turn it up.
02:59What's this about?
03:01Probably school picture day.
03:03Mom never buys them.
03:04I'm not combing my hair for that.
03:06Fox's folks had enough kids to fill their own yearbook, so they opted for the watermarked sample.
03:12I like picture day.
03:14If I'm going to be an actor, I'll need an updated headshot.
03:17And I get to trade photos this year now that I finally have friends.
03:21Fox, you should get one so we can all trade.
03:24Whatever.
03:25Maybe.
03:26Children, as we enter the holy season of Lent, we must make sacrifices.
03:34Yes, we encourage you to give something up for Lent.
03:38Perhaps some candy or television or video games.
03:41Our lord was beaten and crucified.
03:47But yes, Ms. Fowler, you could give up candy.
03:52Even Stephen.
03:53Yes.
03:54Well, a special guest is here and he's offered you a free show.
03:59It couldn't be.
04:00Please welcome all the way from Las Vegas, the unfathomable, who dare-o?
04:12And I will say, Bridget's, who dares dare, who dare-o?
04:17Who dare-o dares?
04:23Yes.
04:26You.
04:26Seven, six, hearing only my voice, five, four, and you will become the world-renowned opera singer,
04:40Madame Fowler, in three, two, one, sing.
04:45What do you think, children, should-should we leave her like this?
04:59She could tour the world.
05:08Thank you, boys and girls.
05:13Now, who dare-o knows there is magic in each and every one of you.
05:20So, who would like to see some more, huh?
05:22Yes!
05:23Yes!
05:24Who dare-o can hear you!
05:26Woo!
05:30Mom, we have to go.
05:32It was unfathomable.
05:33You better not have missed math for that.
05:36I don't know, Mark.
05:37Tonight?
05:39You haven't heard the best pair yet.
05:41The offer is just free tickets.
05:42Free?
05:42Yeah, free for students, so long as they bring a paying adult.
05:46Bloody tinker-kearney.
05:51Hot pants at the dinner table.
05:53I have put on a bit of weight, so I'm just gonna go on the salads.
05:57But don't worry, I'll be back in pants in no time.
06:01Pancake day!
06:02Oh, for Christ's sake.
06:04On the day before giving something up for Lent, Catholics eat pancakes, because religion is weird.
06:09I've just started a diet, and now you're serving dinner with cake in the name.
06:16Temperance.
06:16Oh, well.
06:18Go on, man.
06:19I'll have three.
06:20No, you don't.
06:22What?
06:22No one wants you back in pants more than I do.
06:25Oh, God.
06:27Be careful, lighten in there.
06:28Don't choke.
06:29The tradition is that your fortune is hidden inside the pancake.
06:32A nail means you'll be a carpenter.
06:34A button means you'll be a tailor.
06:36A coin means...
06:37You're gonna be rich.
06:39Does that mean we have enough money to go to the show?
06:42Enough.
06:43Look, give me a pancake and I'll buy you a ticket.
06:46It's perfect.
06:48Mom, the math test is Friday.
06:51Well, you better then, I promise.
06:52Fine.
06:53On one condition, you get an A.
06:56D.
06:56C.
06:57Deal.
06:58Yes, thank you.
06:59A button.
07:02I told you pants were in my future.
07:07That's my good make-up.
07:21Picture day is tomorrow and I thought you might buy them if I...
07:25Oh, my sacred heart.
07:30Don't you fret, my dear.
07:32We are gonna make you look just like your poor old mother.
07:37All right, St. John's.
07:42Dick Dunphy here from the mighty 590 VOCM.
07:50Are you ready for...
07:53Hooter roll!
07:57From Vegas to Newfoundland, the greatest hypnotist on Earth.
08:01You know this is all about gobbledygook, don't you?
08:08Mom, it's not fake.
08:11It's from Las Vegas.
08:12Oh, jeez.
08:13Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
08:16Tonight, I invite you to free your subconscious from the shackles that you yourself imprisoned
08:23it with.
08:24But Udero is nothing without volunteers.
08:27So, audience, I ask, who dare dares Udero?
08:32Over here.
08:33Over here.
08:34Yes, you, ma'am.
08:35And you.
08:36Oh, you little shagger.
08:40And one very enthusiastic boy, I see.
08:43A stage.
08:44It wasn't Udero who had hypnotized me.
08:47It was the audience.
08:53Welcome, St. John's.
08:56I am the remarkable Merck, the impossibilist.
09:01I've never been so proud.
09:04I could have swore I wore pants.
09:09Hear only my voice.
09:10Hearing only my voice.
09:12Only my voice matters.
09:14Concentration was never my thing.
09:16I was too late.
09:17Two, one.
09:18Now listen to the music.
09:19Because now you can play that musical instrument that you have always wanted to play.
09:26In fact, you're the best in the world.
09:28So play, my orchestra, play!
09:30I wasn't good at studying, but I was a quick study.
09:36That's it.
09:37That's beautiful music!
09:48Who dare knows you are faking, boy, because a hypnotized subject never uses thoughts.
09:53Make a fool of me on my stage and I will answer.
09:57Beautiful music, no?
10:00I might not have been hypnotized, but I would have done anything to stay on that stage.
10:11Oh, so refreshing.
10:12And I did.
10:13You take a sip, Mark.
10:16Oh no, Mark, that water is boiling hot!
10:18Now it is 140 proof Screech!
10:28The more I faked it, the more Hugh Darrow loved it.
10:31I started to wonder who was hypnotizing who.
10:33Find your keys, you're going home.
10:35Swim, Mark, swim for your life!
10:37And now you're a cat, a little kitty cat.
10:40Come after the mouse!
10:42Yes, he has the mouse.
10:44Well, audience, definitely we had tremendous fun with young Mark.
10:48I think it's time to say thank you.
10:51You'll return in two, one.
10:53Take a bow.
10:57I had been faking, but their applause was real, and it was hypnotic.
11:02Good night, St. John's!
11:10That was amazing!
11:12You did well, boy.
11:14You're a natural entertainer.
11:16Not that hypnosis is entertainment, it is science.
11:21Of course.
11:22How would you like to be my protege for the rest of the week?
11:26We'll do the same show tomorrow, exactly as we just did it.
11:30Don't worry.
11:31I'll pay attention this time.
11:32I'll be out like a light.
11:33No, no, no.
11:34We'll do it exactly as we just did it.
11:37Oh, so you want me to fake it again?
11:39No, uh, more like a demonstration of what is possible.
11:44Okay?
11:44Now, I can't pay you, but, um, how about...
11:49I give you a poster of Hugh Darrow, hmm?
11:54And stop overeating with Hugh Darrow on long-playing record.
12:00And concentrate with Hugh Darrow, the bestseller.
12:04I would have done it for free.
12:06Can we have a deal, then?
12:07Now, I will see you at noon tomorrow at my place of residence.
12:13Oh, but I have class.
12:17Look, you're an entertainer.
12:18You know, teachers will try and put your mind in a box,
12:23but I can help you free it.
12:25People like us, we don't need school.
12:27Hugh Darrow quit school when he was younger than you.
12:29And now, look at him.
12:31Hugh Darrow plays schools.
12:34I may not have been hypnotized,
12:36but I was under his spell.
12:38I'll be there.
12:39I knew you would be.
12:41Oh, wow.
12:42I was in show business.
12:51What's school picture day tomorrow?
12:52What do you think?
12:55I think he looks like an ass.
12:59Well, listen to this.
13:00It is I, O'Darrow.
13:05O'Darrow dares you to stop over-meeting.
13:08It's a pirate bull.
13:09He's just a con artist.
13:11He has dedicated his life to entertaining people.
13:14Come on.
13:15You don't believe this nonsense, do you?
13:18He's amazing.
13:19You should have seen me.
13:21I was an alien.
13:22I was playing the fiddle.
13:23I felt like I could do anything.
13:25Oh.
13:25Well, how do you know?
13:28I thought you were supposed to be hypnotized.
13:31Well, I wasn't technically.
13:33I was acting, but it totally looked like I was.
13:36But it was this cool trick.
13:37Oh, I see.
13:38So you were faking it.
13:39What?
13:40You were lying to everybody.
13:41No, no, no.
13:42It was a demonstration.
13:43You can call it what you like.
13:46Manure, cow dung.
13:47It's still a pile of...
13:49Crap!
13:50I don't know what it was,
13:51but it was the best feeling of my life.
13:54He didn't do that to you.
13:56You did it.
13:58That's not hypnosis.
14:00Perfectly relaxed now.
14:03Your eyes are heavy with relaxation.
14:06No overeating is bad.
14:08Relax.
14:09Pop, Mom, Hudero.
14:12I had so many people in my head,
14:13there wasn't any room for me anymore.
14:18Ash Wednesday is when Catholics rub ash on their foreheads
14:22to remind themselves of whence they came.
14:24Ashes to ashes.
14:26Because religions are weird.
14:28This year, Ash Wednesday fell on picture day.
14:31Well, we can't let them get their pictures taken like that.
14:33Oh, no.
14:35Attention, students.
14:37If anyone dares wipe the ash from their forehead
14:40in an attempt at vanity,
14:42it will be the last thing they do.
14:46I can't believe this.
14:47We couldn't possibly look more ridiculous.
14:50Whoa.
14:50Whoa.
14:50Whoa.
15:20I thought you didn't care about school picture day.
15:33I don't.
15:34Then why do you have so much, uh, it's very subtle.
15:38God, I've been staring now.
15:43Do I got something that don't belong to you?
15:47Don't worry.
15:49We're all gonna look like idiots.
15:52Not that you do.
15:53I-I was just...
15:54Mm-hmm.
15:56Yeah, she's got the look.
16:01Ooh.
16:02Ooh.
16:03Mm-hmm.
16:06Bloody witch.
16:20Oh.
16:21Oh.
16:22Oh.
16:23Oh.
16:24Oh.
16:25It was as if I could hear him in my mind calling out to me.
16:34You're only missing picture day.
16:37Come to me, my protege.
16:39Next.
16:40Oh.
16:41Oh.
16:42Trust me.
16:43It's not as noticeable as the eye shadow.
16:48Ah.
16:49Ah.
16:50Excellent.
16:51Enter the domicile of Hudero.
16:52Never seen a hotel room before.
16:53Hmm.
16:54Motel.
16:55I only need to open my door to access my vehicle.
16:57That's lesson number one.
16:58A performer must always be ready to hit the road at a moment's notice.
17:01Cool.
17:02Was that Kraft dinner?
17:03Mm-hmm.
17:04I didn't know you could cook it in a coffee pot.
17:05Well.
17:06You'll eat a lot of meals on the road, Mark, if you become a performer.
17:09You really think I could live like this one day?
17:11I don't know.
17:12Do you believe?
17:13Do you believe?
17:14Oh.
17:15Oh.
17:16Oh.
17:17Oh.
17:18Oh.
17:19Oh.
17:20Oh.
17:21Oh.
17:22Oh.
17:23Oh.
17:24Oh.
17:25Oh.
17:26Oh.
17:27Oh.
17:28Oh.
17:29Oh.
17:30Oh.
17:31Do you believe
17:33I had found my Obi-wan.
17:34Oh.
17:35I...
17:36Yes.
17:37I'm...
17:38I'm ready to start my training.
17:39Good.
17:40Lesson number two.
17:41A performer should always look his best.
17:43Yeah.
17:44Here you go.
17:45Now,
17:47take this.
17:48Oh.
17:50Mr. Hedero, sir, I couldn't.
17:51I'm- I'm not ready for that.
17:52Oh.
17:53Take this home.
17:54And wash it.
17:55There's no good laundry service in town.
17:57Mm.
17:58And do it by hand.
18:00Udero needs to look his best.
18:02I mean, what is Superman without a cape, huh?
18:05And have it back in time for tonight's show.
18:07All right?
18:09Actually, I have this math test that I promised I'd do well in,
18:12and I just thought that maybe you could give me...
18:15Uh, you know what?
18:16I think this is enough for today.
18:18Udero needs to rest.
18:20Oh, there's a third lesson.
18:21Never miss an opportunity for a nap.
18:25But...
18:30I was beginning to think I was being taken advantage of.
18:41This was not the glamorous life of my dreams.
18:44I wasn't meant to wash costumes.
18:46I was born to wear them.
18:49Thank you, St. John's.
18:52And welcome to the Remarkable Merc Show.
18:55I'm Merc, the impossible-est.
19:00Why are you in school?
19:02What are you wearing?
19:03Where are your ashes?
19:05If only I'd gotten to the,
19:07how to wipe someone's mind lesson.
19:15Oh, my gosh.
19:17What are you doing home so early?
19:19I don't want to talk about it.
19:21Look at that face.
19:23I don't even recognize myself.
19:26You are welcome.
19:28I don't want to look like you, Mom.
19:31Wow.
19:33Oh, that's nice.
19:35I didn't mean it like that.
19:37It's just...
19:39I don't like makeup.
19:41On you, it's pretty.
19:43But...
19:45I'm not pretty like you.
19:47You know what? You're right.
19:51You aren't like me.
19:54I need makeup.
19:55But you...
20:00You're perfect just the way you are.
20:04Oh, my God.
20:05I'm going to need turpentine to get that off.
20:07That'll be gross.
20:08Oh, come on.
20:10Mom.
20:11Mom.
20:13Why don't you ever buy my school pictures?
20:17Is that what all this is about?
20:20It's because you always got a face on you like a boiled boot.
20:23Did you at least smile in this one?
20:25Yeah.
20:27I couldn't help it.
20:28I pissed that nut off.
20:30She got me drove.
20:33You're grounded.
20:34What? No, you can't.
20:35I've got a show.
20:36You've got a math test to study for.
20:38That's all you've got.
20:39I'm no good at math.
20:40How the hell would you know?
20:42Hedaro believes in me.
20:44Oh.
20:45Well, you think I don't believe in you?
20:47I wiped your arse.
20:50I know you better than anybody else on the planet.
20:52Sure enough, better than some arsehole magician.
20:56Hypnotist.
20:58I don't care if you're a magician or a mathematician.
21:01I care what you're not.
21:02And you are not going to be cut in class
21:04or failing math
21:05or washing a stranger's drawers
21:07or talking back to me.
21:15Any volunteers?
21:17Come now, there must be someone.
21:19Is there a boy named Mark here tonight?
21:23Hedaro could have taught me a lot about show business, but...
21:26Mark?
21:27You could say I still had a lot to learn.
21:29To concentrate, you must be comfortable.
21:32Sit in your favorite chair.
21:34Sit fully back.
21:35Relax your shoulders.
21:37The power of suggestion can only help you do something you want to do.
21:41It takes away inhibitions.
21:43If anything, it helps you to believe in yourself.
21:46Maybe not as much as your mother does.
21:49I think it's perfect.
21:50If you could believe in yourself as much as the people who love you do,
21:59well, that would truly be magic.
22:02Good God.
22:09I told you I'd be back in pants.
22:13Ye of so little faith.
22:15So little faith.
22:16Ah.
22:17Until April.
22:18When new plants will appear.
22:19Good God.
22:20Oh, peace.
22:21How are you okay?
22:22Oh.
22:25You're so happy.
22:27All the way...
22:28You're so happy.
22:29You're so happy.
22:30We're so happy.
22:31You're so happy.
22:32You're so happy.
22:33You're so happy.
22:35If you're so happy.
22:36You're so happy.
22:37You're so happy.
22:38You're so happy.
22:40You're right.
22:41I'm sorry.
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