- 1 day ago
Good Girls Gone Wild RS Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30Oh, bad.
00:00:38...to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:45So...
00:00:50...more, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:53So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:58Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:01:03I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:06I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:10What? But you can't.
00:01:12I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:15Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:17You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:20This is bad.
00:01:21You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:23She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:50Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:53But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:56I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:00But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:03So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:06Mushrooms?
00:02:07No, not like that.
00:02:09Like something nice.
00:02:10Like maybe a trip.
00:02:12Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:14No.
00:02:14Sorry, Sue.
00:02:17I have a date.
00:02:18Oh, so do I.
00:02:21Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:23We'll figure it out.
00:02:35Oh, flowers.
00:02:36Are these from you?
00:02:37Yeah, sure.
00:02:39Here you go.
00:02:41No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:43I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:46I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:52Oh, Jake.
00:02:57Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:59Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:01When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:04The best night of my life.
00:03:05It will be, I promise.
00:03:08It'll always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:13Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:21I have to work on my art project.
00:03:23You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:26but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:30Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:32The Saturday?
00:03:33Of course.
00:03:34Thanks.
00:03:40Okay, bye.
00:03:50Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:03:52Oh, baby.
00:03:53You're so hot.
00:03:54I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:56Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:57What was your name again?
00:03:58Rod.
00:03:59Sex guy.
00:04:00Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:09You're right, I bet.
00:04:16Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:20Oh, no.
00:04:21Does not compute.
00:04:22Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:25Oh, huh.
00:04:29Hi.
00:04:31When did you go home?
00:04:33So is it true?
00:04:34Yes, it is.
00:04:36It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:40I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:45and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:47So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:49Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:54On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:57Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 28th, maybe.
00:05:05Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:12I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:15But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:23We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:26Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:30It's not Jake.
00:05:32It's the male ideal.
00:05:34Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:38Right.
00:05:39Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:42Nina kind of sucks.
00:05:43I'm not really an artist.
00:05:43Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:46The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:50And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:52I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:54And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:55Look, I can go either way.
00:05:57I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:02I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:05Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:08But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:13You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:20Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:23To church.
00:06:24To pray for you.
00:06:25Want to be first in line.
00:06:26I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:29Yeah, me too.
00:06:39Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:41It's been four days since my last confession.
00:06:43I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:44Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:55I mean, not me.
00:06:56I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:58I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:03Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:06But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:10But there was nothing there.
00:07:10Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:16My best friends.
00:07:18They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:20Okay.
00:07:21Third base.
00:07:23What?
00:07:24No.
00:07:25Like, sex.
00:07:26Like, intercourse?
00:07:28With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:29I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:31If you know what I mean.
00:07:32All the way.
00:07:33Go all the way.
00:07:35How could you do so?
00:07:43You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:47What?
00:07:52Yes.
00:07:54Yes.
00:07:55Run.
00:07:56Run.
00:07:57Home route.
00:07:59Damn it.
00:08:01Fucking Yankees.
00:08:05Sorry.
00:08:27Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:30Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:32I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:33Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:37I have an announcement to make.
00:08:39I want to do it.
00:08:41Do you hear me?
00:08:42I want to do it.
00:08:44This weekend.
00:08:46On our birthday.
00:08:47Do what?
00:08:49It.
00:08:50Screw.
00:08:51You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:55You know, shagging.
00:08:56Fucking.
00:08:56You do.
00:09:01But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:03And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:06Oh, I got a sign.
00:09:07At church.
00:09:08Really?
00:09:09Well, okay, great.
00:09:12We're all in then.
00:09:14So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:17Right?
00:09:19Right.
00:09:19I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:30Hey, Frank.
00:09:33Hi, Sue.
00:09:34Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:37I don't know.
00:09:38Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:39He's blind.
00:09:41Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:49Hey.
00:09:50Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:54It's for our birthday.
00:09:55Do you want to come?
00:09:56Do you think he can see at my short?
00:10:10Well, my house looks done.
00:10:11Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:14We finally turn 18.
00:10:15And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:18Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:21So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:24Jake.
00:10:25And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:27But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:28To pop your chair?
00:10:30It's easy.
00:10:31I've known for the past six years.
00:10:32Ever since catechism.
00:10:36What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:37I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:39Yeah.
00:10:41My soulmate.
00:10:52Chris?
00:10:53Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:58I mean...
00:10:58What?
00:10:58No, Chris is perfect.
00:11:00He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:11:03Plus, his name's Chris.
00:11:04It's a sign.
00:11:05Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:11What?
00:11:11He does not.
00:11:13Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:15He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:17With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:20Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:24Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:26Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:29See you in the morning.
00:11:30I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:38I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:40I knew it would happen.
00:12:10So perfect.
00:12:11So perfect.
00:12:40Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:04Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:34Oh, my gosh.
00:13:41They're coming.
00:13:43Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:48Ew, why?
00:13:49It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:51It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:53I'm going to stop it.
00:13:54You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:56It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:57It's stupid.
00:13:59Just screw him.
00:13:59That's what he wants.
00:14:00That's what all guys want.
00:14:02Who hurt you as a child?
00:14:03Oh, Christ.
00:14:05Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:14:06Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:12You're an idiot.
00:14:13A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:17Guys, seriously, come on.
00:14:18Hurry up.
00:14:19Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:26I love it.
00:14:29You should put that down, though, because it's like, it's really...
00:14:31Very fragile.
00:14:32Yeah.
00:14:32Okay.
00:14:33Set it down.
00:14:34Hurry up.
00:14:38Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:39Yeah.
00:14:39Okay, let's go.
00:14:49Whoa, is this fun at the top?
00:15:00Whoa!
00:15:02Hold up.
00:15:04Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:15:05Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:15:07Nice!
00:15:07Nice!
00:15:08Oh, fuck.
00:15:12Check it, check it, check it, check it, check it.
00:15:16Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:19No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:22That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:26And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:29Oh, how did you know?
00:15:31I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:33Please, come on.
00:15:38Buster, such a cutie.
00:15:41Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:43All right, sorry.
00:15:44Are you okay now?
00:15:45Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:46Okay, see you later.
00:15:49I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:52This is crazy.
00:15:53Come on.
00:15:54Jake!
00:15:55Hi!
00:15:56Hey, Ben.
00:15:57Happy birthday.
00:16:00Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:03What?
00:16:04You want a beer?
00:16:07No.
00:16:11Oh, hon.
00:16:12I have your present here.
00:16:17I'll give it to you later.
00:16:19The time's right.
00:16:21He didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:23And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:29Hey, bro.
00:16:30We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:16:33A little bit.
00:16:33All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:39Hey.
00:16:40Hey.
00:16:40How you doing?
00:16:41Hey.
00:16:42Check it out!
00:16:53Dare me.
00:16:54Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:11Are those real?
00:17:12Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:14Hey!
00:17:14Ah, dude, move!
00:17:15Come on, lame!
00:17:17Oh, all right.
00:17:18Okay.
00:17:18I'll see you guys later.
00:17:19Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:20Aw, the move.
00:17:2120 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:25Yeah!
00:17:27They're fake anyways.
00:17:29Who cares?
00:17:30Okay.
00:17:33Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:36I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:40Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:42Here, let me.
00:17:43Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:45It's not.
00:17:47Open.
00:17:50Hey.
00:17:51Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:53I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:57Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:58I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:59It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:12Are these real?
00:18:13Of course they are.
00:18:16I'm just wondering.
00:18:16How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:18I don't know.
00:18:19Maybe he's just going to be around.
00:18:20Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:22Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:25Maybe upstairs.
00:18:25I don't know.
00:18:28Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:30That's probably where he went.
00:18:32Go roll.
00:18:32Liquid Courage?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37Atta girl.
00:18:41Vodka, cranberry?
00:18:43Surely simple.
00:18:45Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:47I can go meet Rod.
00:18:49Sue?
00:18:50Are you okay?
00:18:51Sue?
00:18:52Relax.
00:18:53They're just guys.
00:18:56Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:57Seriously.
00:18:58You're going to be fine.
00:18:59Is Chris here?
00:19:05Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:08No.
00:19:08He does not have gateways.
00:19:10I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:12I'm going to do it.
00:19:18Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:20No, he does not have gateways.
00:19:24I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:25I'm going to do it.
00:19:26I'm going to do this.
00:19:28Good luck.
00:19:31Hey, you can do this.
00:19:33Just act like a slut.
00:19:37Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:46Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:48Chris, hi.
00:19:52Can I talk to you?
00:19:54Uh-huh.
00:19:55Uh, in private?
00:19:57Oh.
00:20:10Hey, Lexi.
00:20:11Hey, Lexi.
00:20:12What?
00:20:13Chris, you're so sexy.
00:20:16Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:20I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:24And I really want to...
00:20:27Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:29Is that wrong?
00:20:30Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:32Nothing.
00:20:32I'm sorry.
00:20:33I don't know how to do this.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:37Sue, Sue.
00:20:38Sue, I understand these urges.
00:20:44And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:48Really?
00:20:49You do?
00:20:49I do.
00:20:50I really do.
00:20:52I like you too.
00:20:54Really?
00:20:55You do?
00:20:55I do.
00:20:56I do.
00:20:56I really do.
00:20:58It's just...
00:20:59I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:21:05Right.
00:21:06Lexi said you were...
00:21:07Jesus.
00:21:08Oh.
00:21:09That man.
00:21:10Of course.
00:21:11What did you think?
00:21:13Oh, nothing.
00:21:14So we can still do this then?
00:21:17Oh, Sue.
00:21:18You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about
00:21:28him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed
00:21:40over each other, so delicately, beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty,
00:21:50under that hot, hot sun, and I just feel such compassion.
00:21:57I think about those things, too.
00:21:59So you understand why I can't do this?
00:22:03Not really.
00:22:04I just find it too hard, it is, to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so
00:22:12much for us.
00:22:14So...
00:22:15We're going to go out there, right?
00:22:26Andy, we're going to tell you, don't even want.
00:22:28Hey, Ty.
00:22:28Whoa!
00:22:30Have you seen Jake?
00:22:32Uh, no.
00:22:33No.
00:22:34All right.
00:22:37Okay.
00:22:38All right, focus.
00:22:39Focus, focus.
00:22:45Oh, there he is.
00:22:49Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:52How could he?
00:23:05How could he?
00:23:09Sue, what happened?
00:23:11Did you guys do it?
00:23:12Sue?
00:23:14He doesn't want me.
00:23:15Because he's gay.
00:23:17No, he's not.
00:23:18He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:20Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:22The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:23:26you.
00:23:27Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:23:32what kind of woman you really are.
00:23:35Deep inside.
00:23:36What?
00:23:36Come with me.
00:23:38Come with me.
00:23:38Where?
00:23:39To meet your dark side.
00:23:47Out.
00:23:48Everyone out.
00:23:49Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:24:03I really can't.
00:24:15I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:17I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:23I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:28Sue?
00:24:29Can you see it?
00:24:32Sue.
00:24:32Sue?
00:24:33I'm almost, I'm almost there.
00:24:41Oh!
00:24:43What?
00:24:45What?
00:24:46Sue, what happened?
00:24:47What did you see?
00:24:48A raccoon?
00:24:50What?
00:24:51You overshot it.
00:24:53Aim the mirror further up.
00:25:01I can't.
00:25:02Please don't make me do that again.
00:25:03Okay, fine.
00:25:05Fine.
00:25:06I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:09What?
00:25:10You really need an orgasm.
00:25:12Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never
00:25:16even had it with yourself.
00:25:18This really has to be your first step.
00:25:20Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:21Coming.
00:25:22Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:24Just find it and use it.
00:25:27Wait, what does a black vibrator look like?
00:25:29It's black.
00:25:30It vibrates.
00:25:33Come on, Rod.
00:25:34Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:37And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:40Hey, cutie!
00:25:52Cutie!
00:25:53Oh!
00:25:54Oh!
00:25:54Oh!
00:25:55Oh!
00:25:56Oh!
00:25:57Oh!
00:25:58Oh!
00:25:59Oh!
00:26:00Oh!
00:26:01Oh!
00:26:02Oh!
00:26:03Bang.
00:26:04Bang.
00:26:05Bang.
00:26:06Bang!
00:26:07Good boy.
00:26:08Straighten up.
00:26:09Good boy.
00:26:10Good boy.
00:26:11He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:13I'm sorry I can't see anything.
00:26:14That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:15What a bitch.
00:26:16Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:20Oh!
00:26:21Oh!
00:26:22Oh!
00:26:23Oh!
00:26:24Oh!
00:26:25Oh!
00:26:26Oh!
00:26:27Oh!
00:26:28Oh!
00:26:29Oh!
00:26:30Oh!
00:26:31Oh!
00:26:32Oh!
00:26:33Oh!
00:26:34Oh!
00:26:35Oh!
00:26:36Oh!
00:26:37Oh!
00:26:38Oh!
00:26:39Oh!
00:26:40Oh!
00:26:41Oh!
00:26:42Oh!
00:26:51Oh!
00:26:52Oh!
00:26:53Oh!
00:26:54Oh!
00:26:55Oh!
00:26:56Oh!
00:26:57What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:12I'm looking like a tin.
00:27:13I'm feeling comfortable with my own face.
00:27:14Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:17Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:19He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:23For sure?
00:27:24I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe, maybe it's my fault.
00:27:29That's no excuse.
00:27:30He's a dirtbag.
00:27:31How dare he?
00:27:32No, it's awful.
00:27:33I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:37Oh.
00:27:42It's a text.
00:27:43It's from him.
00:27:44Um, I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:45Okay.
00:27:46Uh, he's looking for you.
00:27:48He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:50Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:51Um, I have to go.
00:27:52I'm going.
00:27:53No.
00:27:54You can't just leave.
00:27:55Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:58I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:00No.
00:28:01He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:04Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:05I see only one option.
00:28:07Uh, he's looking for you.
00:28:09He wants to give you your...
00:28:11I'm leaving.
00:28:12Revenge set.
00:28:13Birthday gift.
00:28:14Oh, I can't face him.
00:28:15Um, I have to go.
00:28:17I'm going.
00:28:18No, you can't just leave.
00:28:19Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothings.
00:28:22Re...
00:28:23I mean, what?
00:28:24What does that even mean?
00:28:25It happened.
00:28:26I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:27No.
00:28:28It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake either deny it or admit
00:28:32and promise never to do it again.
00:28:34Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:35I see only one option.
00:28:37I'm leaving.
00:28:38Revenge sex.
00:28:39Re...
00:28:40I mean, what?
00:28:41What does that even mean?
00:28:42I catch you.
00:28:46It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:55Revenge sex.
00:28:56Re...
00:28:57I mean, what?
00:28:58What does that even mean?
00:28:59It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:29:04But he...
00:29:05I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:29:06He doesn't even care about me.
00:29:07I mean, why would...
00:29:08He's just into other girls.
00:29:09Trust me.
00:29:10He'll care.
00:29:11Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:29:14To his ego?
00:29:15To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him?
00:29:19Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:29:24No, I...
00:29:25I couldn't.
00:29:26Plus, I mean, there's...
00:29:27There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:29:30Eric!
00:29:31He's perfect!
00:29:32Eric Hall?
00:29:33Are you kidding?
00:29:34I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:29:36He likes your type.
00:29:38Really?
00:29:39And what type is that?
00:29:40Slutty?
00:29:41Yeah.
00:29:42Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:44I fooled around with him once.
00:29:45He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:47Oh, no.
00:29:48I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:51Okay, then.
00:29:52Fine.
00:29:53We will find someone else.
00:29:54Someone that I haven't...
00:29:56fooled around with.
00:30:00Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:30:03I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:30:05No, I just couldn't do it.
00:30:07Fine.
00:30:08If you wanna live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:30:12to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:30:15and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it,
00:30:19go ahead.
00:30:20But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:23I don't know.
00:30:25But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:30I don't know.
00:30:32Trust me.
00:30:33It's going to work.
00:30:40I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:42Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:44Are you okay enough to chat with her?
00:30:46Oh, no.
00:30:59Hey.
00:31:00Happy birthday.
00:31:01Thanks.
00:31:02Have you guys seen Jake?
00:31:18So, happy birthday.
00:31:19Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:31:33But it's actually from us.
00:31:34U.S.
00:31:35America?
00:31:36United States?
00:31:37I know where we live.
00:31:38Right.
00:31:39Of course.
00:31:40I know where we live.
00:31:41Right.
00:31:42Of course.
00:31:43I know where we live.
00:31:44Right.
00:31:45Of course.
00:31:46Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:47Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:48Yeah, no.
00:31:49I can totally move.
00:31:50No.
00:31:51No.
00:31:52No.
00:31:53No.
00:31:54No.
00:31:55No.
00:31:56No.
00:31:57No.
00:31:58No.
00:31:59No.
00:32:00No.
00:32:01No.
00:32:02No.
00:32:03No.
00:32:04No.
00:32:05No.
00:32:06No.
00:32:07No.
00:32:08No.
00:32:09No.
00:32:10You're fine.
00:32:11Are you the guy?
00:32:12No.
00:32:13I just couldn't do it.
00:32:14Fine.
00:32:15If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right
00:32:31thing, to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly
00:32:35will even scar him with the rest of his existence and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:32:40But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:43I don't know.
00:32:44But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:49I don't know.
00:32:50Trust me.
00:32:51It's going to work.
00:32:52I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:32:56Hi Cheryl.
00:32:57Are you okay enough to chat with you?
00:32:58Oh no.
00:32:59Hey.
00:33:00Happy birthday.
00:33:01Thanks.
00:33:02Happy birthday.
00:33:03Thanks.
00:33:04Thanks.
00:33:05Bye.
00:33:18Bye.
00:33:20Hi.
00:33:21It's really wonderful.
00:33:34have you guys seen jake
00:33:45so happy birthday
00:33:53uh do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was
00:33:58from britain but it's actually from us us america
00:34:03united states i know where we live right of course
00:34:09i know where we live right of course
00:34:16hey jesus eric are you gonna make your move or not oh you want me to move yeah no i can totally move
00:34:25i just no you're fine
00:34:33jake
00:34:40so eric do you want to do it or not
00:34:44oh i'm sorry it
00:34:46monkey boning and like pigs in a blanket
00:34:53what um
00:34:54it like
00:34:55get real nasty
00:35:00oh
00:35:01monkey boning and like pigs in a blanket
00:35:04get real nasty
00:35:06oh
00:35:07oh you mean like
00:35:09uh
00:35:10right now
00:35:12i mean well yeah you know the sooner the better
00:35:15yeah sure i mean yeah of course um i just never realized that you i mean
00:35:23whoo uh it's just you're so you're so beautiful
00:35:33okay um
00:35:34uh no casein
00:35:37right um of course sorry
00:35:41so um
00:35:45do you want to unwrap me
00:35:48oh wow uh
00:35:50you're wrapped up like a hot pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese
00:35:53now that you're left over you're not
00:35:56you're fresh
00:35:58now that you're left over you're not
00:36:01you're fresh
00:36:04organic
00:36:05yep
00:36:06so the wrap
00:36:09right
00:36:10um
00:36:12where's the uh
00:36:14it's uh the end is
00:36:15that i just like right over here
00:36:16oh oh yeah here it is
00:36:17i see it um
00:36:19let me just uh
00:36:20ow ow ow
00:36:23sorry sorry sorry i um
00:36:24it's okay
00:36:26do it again
00:36:27sorry i uh
00:36:30i bite my nails so it's a little difficult
00:36:32you know what let me just lay on the bed
00:36:34okay
00:36:36uh
00:36:41let me just see
00:36:43oh here it is i got it
00:36:45all right it's um
00:36:47united states
00:36:48i know where we live
00:36:49right
00:36:50of course
00:36:51i know where we live
00:36:56right
00:36:56of course
00:36:58hold it
00:37:02let me just
00:37:03hey jesus eric are you gonna make your move or not
00:37:07oh you want me to move
00:37:09yeah no i can totally move i just
00:37:10no you're fine
00:37:12oh jeez uh cheryl are you
00:37:17you okay
00:37:19uh
00:37:30jake
00:37:33so eric do you want to do it or not
00:37:37oh i'm sorry
00:37:40it
00:37:41hey cheryl are you okay
00:37:42what um
00:37:45it's like
00:37:46it like monkey boning and like pigs in a blanket
00:37:49get real nasty
00:37:51oh
00:37:52oh
00:37:52oh
00:37:53oh you mean like
00:37:54uh
00:37:55oh jeez
00:37:57right now
00:38:00i mean well
00:38:01yeah
00:38:02you know the sooner the better
00:38:03yeah sure i mean
00:38:06yeah of course
00:38:07um i just never realized that you
00:38:09you're so
00:38:10i mean
00:38:11i mean
00:38:11whoo
00:38:13uh
00:38:14it's just
00:38:16you're so
00:38:19you're so beautiful
00:38:24okay um
00:38:25uh no kissine
00:38:28right um
00:38:30of course
00:38:31sorry
00:38:32well that was stupid
00:38:37so um
00:38:39do you want to unwrap me
00:38:42oh wow
00:38:43uh
00:38:44you're wrapped up like a hot pocket
00:38:45or
00:38:46a leftover macaroni and cheese
00:38:47now that you're left over
00:38:49you're not
00:38:50you're fresh
00:38:52now that you're left over
00:38:55you're not
00:38:56you're fresh
00:38:58organic
00:38:59yeah
00:39:01yep
00:39:03so the wrap
00:39:06right
00:39:07um
00:39:09where's the uh
00:39:11it's uh the end
00:39:15that i just like right over
00:39:16oh yeah here it is
00:39:17i see it
00:39:18um
00:39:19let me just uh
00:39:20got it
00:39:21ow
00:39:22ow
00:39:23sorry
00:39:23sorry
00:39:24sorry
00:39:24it's okay
00:39:26do it again
00:39:27sorry i uh
00:39:30i bite my nails
00:39:31so it's a little difficult
00:39:32you know what
00:39:32let me just
00:39:33lay on the bed
00:39:34how you doing tonight
00:39:37okay
00:39:39having a good time
00:39:41yeah
00:39:42you're good
00:39:43jake
00:39:44uh
00:39:47let me just
00:39:48see
00:39:49oh here it is
00:39:51i got it
00:39:51all right
00:39:52it's um
00:39:53pull it
00:39:53oh jeez
00:39:58uh cheryl are you
00:39:59you okay
00:40:01uh
00:40:01i think i saw cheryl upstairs
00:40:07what
00:40:08hey cheryl are you okay
00:40:09oh jeez
00:40:12i can't hear you
00:40:27how you doing
00:40:31you're having a good time
00:40:32you're having a good time
00:40:32yeah
00:40:33jake
00:40:35i think i saw cheryl upstairs
00:40:37what
00:40:38i can't hear you
00:40:40another beer
00:40:41chips are so damn salty
00:40:44hold on
00:40:48take a piss
00:40:49jake
00:40:50sorry we're
00:40:51upstairs
00:40:52yeah
00:40:53hold on
00:40:54take a piss
00:40:55how much beer
00:40:57finally
00:41:25i uh
00:41:26let me just get the blinds
00:41:29oh no no no
00:41:30no no no
00:41:30um
00:41:31don't worry about it
00:41:32what
00:41:33i mean i want us to be able to see each other
00:41:36oh
00:41:38well okay
00:41:40okay
00:41:41okay
00:41:42okay
00:41:55i mean i want us to be able to see each other
00:42:01oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no um don't worry about it
00:42:07what
00:42:08i mean i want us to be able to see each other
00:42:22oh
00:42:23okay
00:42:29okay
00:42:29okay
00:42:30okay
00:42:36Oh, my God.
00:43:06what are you doing uh i think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh
00:43:26uh oh yeah it's so good oh yeah oh my god draw draw draw what what what what ah ah
00:43:50lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing i don't know ah are you okay
00:44:00no no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just a embarrassed i it's probably tmj or
00:44:11fracture swollen you sure you're okay yeah yeah i'm fine okay great have fun
00:44:19now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:44:27now
00:44:31all right i'm gonna come
00:44:37now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:44:39all right i'm gonna come i'm gonna come
00:44:44no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
00:45:14How are you doing?
00:45:16How's it going?
00:45:18Eric?
00:45:20Eric, help me.
00:45:22I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:45:24Excuse me.
00:45:28Cheryl's in here.
00:45:34What's up, bro?
00:45:36What the fuck is...
00:45:38Wait, wait!
00:45:40Hey, wait!
00:45:42Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:45:50Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:45:54Damn it.
00:45:58Hey, you!
00:46:00You better stop making fun of...
00:46:02I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:46:04Hey, you!
00:46:06You better stop making fun of the blind
00:46:08or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:46:10Help!
00:46:12I'm so sorry!
00:46:14I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:46:16Help!
00:46:18What the...
00:46:20What the...
00:46:22What the...
00:46:24What the...
00:46:26What the...
00:46:28What the...
00:46:30What the...
00:46:32What the...
00:46:34What the...
00:46:36What the...
00:46:38Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:46:52This party's ass.
00:46:56Yeah!
00:46:58What the...
00:47:00This just isn't working out.
00:47:02Nothing.
00:47:04What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:47:08Lock it carefully, man. Lock sticks.
00:47:10Spark it up!
00:47:12Yes!
00:47:14Alright!
00:47:16Oh, man!
00:47:18I love this game!
00:47:19We need the controllers.
00:47:20We gotta play.
00:47:21Here, here, here, here.
00:47:22Okay, let me find another one.
00:47:24Let's go!
00:47:26Woo!
00:47:27What the hell?
00:47:28What is this?
00:47:29Oh, my...
00:47:30Pew, pew, pew!
00:47:31Whoa, man.
00:47:32Get that thing away.
00:47:33Jesus!
00:47:34Get that thing away.
00:47:35Jesus!
00:47:36Get away!
00:47:37Jesus!
00:47:41Awww...
00:47:42Hey, dude.
00:47:44Nice shot.
00:47:46Wasn't me?
00:47:48Whoa!
00:47:49Whoa!
00:47:50Whoa! Whoa! Nice!
00:47:55Are you sitting on there or something?
00:47:58Hey, you found the grenade launcher! Nice! Nice!
00:48:12Do you have the extra controller?
00:48:20Whoa!
00:48:26You are the controller!
00:48:29No, I just... I didn't... I swear, I...
00:48:43Hey! Hey, Sue!
00:48:45Where are you going, man?
00:48:47It's okay. Um, hey, Sue!
00:49:01Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:49:03Yeah, I just needed to...
00:49:05Um...
00:49:06Oh, sure.
00:49:08Listen, Sue, I... I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:49:12You were? You mean...
00:49:16Y-yeah.
00:49:20So you think we should give it a try?
00:49:23Could we...
00:49:24Could we...
00:49:28Wow, um...
00:49:29Your... toilet's...
00:49:30You gonna get a drink?
00:49:34Wow, um...
00:49:35Your... toilet's really...
00:49:37You...
00:49:39You...
00:49:40You...
00:49:41You know what? I gotta go!
00:49:42Um...
00:49:43Happy birthday!
00:49:44No, Chris! No, there wasn't...
00:49:45I didn't...
00:49:46Ugh...
00:49:47God, never mind.
00:50:00This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:06This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:08Never going to have sex.
00:50:10Sex.
00:50:11Ow!
00:50:31Hello?
00:50:32A little attention here.
00:50:33Hello?
00:50:34A little attention here.
00:50:37Hello?
00:50:38A little attention here.
00:50:44Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:50:57Hello?
00:50:58A little attention here.
00:51:03Max, go.
00:51:08Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:51:15Max, go.
00:51:23Be selfish.
00:51:24All right.
00:51:25Sorry.
00:51:27Be selfish.
00:51:27All right.
00:51:29Sorry.
00:51:33Oh, jeez.
00:51:43Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:51:46Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:49Screw it.
00:52:03Oh, jeez.
00:52:33Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, that was bad, that was, that was so bad.
00:53:03Joanna, do you know a guy named, do you know a guy named J.J.?
00:53:12I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:53:17Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:53:22Yes, it does.
00:53:24So, you're J.J.?
00:53:26Uh-oh.
00:53:28Welcome to 1-900-Confess, would you like it?
00:53:55A nun.
00:53:57Please punch in your credit card number.
00:53:59Please hold.
00:54:01Oh, thank goodness.
00:54:031-900-Confession, how may I be of service?
00:54:05Confession.
00:54:07How may I be of service?
00:54:09It's been one day since my last confession.
00:54:11I accused myself of a J.J.
00:54:13of a J.J.
00:54:15and a J.J.
00:54:17and a J.J.
00:54:19and a J.J.
00:54:21and a J.J.
00:54:23One day.
00:54:25One day.
00:54:27Is that too long?
00:54:29I would've come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:54:31Go on.
00:54:33Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:54:37Well, actually, I didn't know.
00:54:39A washing machine.
00:54:41What's her problem?
00:54:43A washing machine touch-
00:54:45All right, freak, time's up.
00:54:47All right, freak, time's up.
00:54:49All right, freak, time's up.
00:54:51What? But what do I do?
00:54:53Just, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:54:55All right, freak, time's up.
00:54:57What? But what do I do?
00:54:59Just unplug the thing.
00:55:01No, but, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:03Well, then, be happy.
00:55:05You found the perfect man.
00:55:07I'm serious.
00:55:09Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:55:11All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:13All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:15All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:17What? But what do I do?
00:55:19Just, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:55:21All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:23All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:25What? But what do I do?
00:55:27Just unplug the thing.
00:55:29No, but, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:31Well, then, be happy.
00:55:33You found the perfect man.
00:55:34I'm serious.
00:55:35Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:55:39I'll tell you this.
00:55:41Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:55:43No contritions?
00:55:45You broke no covenant with God.
00:55:47It's not in the Bible.
00:55:49So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:55:51No.
00:55:53No.
00:55:55No.
00:55:56Nothing can touch me anytime?
00:55:58Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:56:00Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:56:02Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:56:04Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:56:06Huh.
00:56:08God's pretty cool that way.
00:56:10He sure is.
00:56:12Now run along.
00:56:14Wow.
00:56:16How do you know all that?
00:56:18Because I'm a nun.
00:56:20Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:56:22Huh.
00:56:24Accidental masturbation.
00:56:26Who'da thunk?
00:56:28Venge sex.
00:56:30What a stupid fucking idea.
00:56:32Revenge sex.
00:56:34What a stupid fucking idea.
00:56:38Revenge sex.
00:56:40What a stupid fucking idea.
00:56:42Revenge sex.
00:56:44What a stupid fucking idea.
00:56:46Revenge sex.
00:56:48What a stupid fucking idea.
00:56:50God, I'm getting out of here.
00:56:52I guess I can skate under me like this.
00:56:54I'm a beautiful man.
00:56:56Yeah, admit it.
00:56:58I've got no game.
00:57:00I guess I can skate under me like this.
00:57:02I'm a beautiful man.
00:57:06I guess I can skate under me like this.
00:57:08I'm a beautiful man.
00:57:10I guess I can skate under me like this.
00:57:12I'm a beautiful man.
00:57:13Yeah, admit it.
00:57:14I've got no game.
00:57:16I guess I can skate under me like this.
00:57:18I'm a beautiful man.
00:57:22Fucking douchebag.
00:57:24Damn it.
00:57:26I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:57:28You go, girl.
00:57:30What?
00:57:32What are you doing here?
00:57:34We needed some place private.
00:57:36But hey, listen.
00:57:38If you're serious about getting laid.
00:57:40Yeah.
00:57:41If you want someone great.
00:57:42I mean, really.
00:57:44The best ever.
00:57:46No offense.
00:57:48Frank.
00:57:49The blind guy.
00:57:50Really?
00:57:51I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:57:54I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:57:56It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:57:59It was like we used all our senses.
00:58:02Everything.
00:58:03If you're interested.
00:58:04I'll set it up.
00:58:05Oh.
00:58:06All right.
00:58:07What about him?
00:58:08Jeremy.
00:58:09Oh, yeah.
00:58:10I know Jeremy.
00:58:11Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:58:12I didn't know his last name, though.
00:58:13It's Jones.
00:58:14Jeremy Jones.
00:58:15This all makes sense.
00:58:16Excuse me.
00:58:17What about him?
00:58:23Jeremy.
00:58:24Oh, yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:58:26Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:58:29I didn't know his last name, though.
00:58:31It's Jones.
00:58:33Jeremy Jones.
00:58:34This all makes sense.
00:58:36Excuse me.
00:58:38Jeremy.
00:58:39Hi.
00:58:41Who's on the phone?
00:58:43Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:58:45You'll meet her.
00:58:45I'll have to be here in, like, an hour.
00:58:47Wait.
00:58:47You have a girlfriend?
00:59:01Oh.
00:59:03Hi, Frank.
00:59:04Sit.
00:59:08Oh, you meant...
00:59:10You meant the dog.
00:59:13Relax.
00:59:15You need to relax and calm down.
00:59:17Oh, I'm...
00:59:27Oh, I'm...
00:59:28Oh, I'm...
00:59:33I'm relaxed.
00:59:34I'm fine.
00:59:35Why are you biting your nail?
00:59:36I'm not.
00:59:37I'm not.
00:59:38I'm not.
00:59:39How did you know that?
00:59:41How did you know that?
00:59:45Corner.
00:59:49Sit.
00:59:51Roll over.
00:59:55Oh, you mean me.
00:59:58Roll over.
00:59:59oh you mean me
01:00:05roll over
01:00:08oh you mean me
01:00:12oh how do you
01:00:14how do you want me to
01:00:16just lay down
01:00:17oh
01:00:17I shouldn't even be doing
01:00:30this but
01:00:31considering it a teachable
01:00:34moment
01:00:35okay
01:00:36see me with your hands
01:00:47you know I should really I have a
01:00:57boyfriend I shouldn't be doing
01:00:58this really
01:00:59mmm peanut butter
01:01:17oh
01:01:33Frank Frank Frank
01:01:34oh
01:01:35oh Frank
01:01:47oh
01:02:05yo man
01:02:06yo gimme a chill
01:02:08my
01:02:09yo man
01:02:12yo gimme a chill
01:02:14my chips homeboy
01:02:16oh gimme a chill man
01:02:17my chips
01:02:18oh my chips
01:02:19gimme a chill
01:02:20my chips
01:02:23guys why are you making such a mess
01:02:25sorry
01:02:27it's just a case of accidental masturbation
01:02:37that's all
01:02:37let me do this go away
01:02:43I got it
01:02:45no really please I want to help
01:02:46okay everybody out
01:02:51leave I have to vacuum
01:02:53you're not even getting the chips
01:03:07they're over here
01:03:08I just I see some dust
01:03:11over here so
01:03:12it's just
01:03:15there's so much
01:03:16dust
01:03:17on this floor
01:03:18it's a dirty floor
01:03:20such a
01:03:21dirty
01:03:22dirty
01:03:24floor
01:03:25I think I got all that
01:03:39I'm just gonna see how
01:03:41I think I got all that
01:03:48I think I got all that
01:03:48I'm just gonna see how
01:03:50oh
01:03:50Frankie
01:03:54oh my oh
01:03:58who's that
01:04:02what
01:04:03fuck your shit
01:04:06man we gotta smoke
01:04:07oh we can smoke in here
01:04:08stop Frank stop teasing Frank
01:04:13oh shit
01:04:14sorry man we're just looking for a place to finish this roach
01:04:18oh I heard something
01:04:19you want to join us
01:04:20uh no I might
01:04:21come on you gotta do it come on
01:04:23seriously guys I need to go
01:04:25where's your dog man
01:04:26what's it like being blinded
01:04:27it's trippy
01:04:28Frank
01:04:32Frank are we gonna do something soon
01:04:36bro you are too funny
01:04:41thanks man
01:04:42oh this is some good stuff
01:04:44I haven't smoked since junior high
01:04:46dude I haven't stopped smoking since junior high
01:04:49wait wait wait
01:04:50I feel like I was supposed to be doing something
01:04:52damn I really can't remember this is some good shit
01:05:11oh no you're the devil no more
01:05:19JJ I'm Jeremy you have to remember that amazing time we had together don't you
01:05:27please
01:05:28Lex I can't I mean I got a girlfriend I really like this girl
01:05:34fine it's just so sad because I'm wearing this cupless bra
01:05:40and I also have on crotchless panties
01:05:44with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation
01:05:49oh
01:05:50we've got like 30 minutes before she gets here
01:05:56perfect
01:05:57before she gets here
01:06:02perfect
01:06:03what what's wrong I can't can't get it in
01:06:25just try down there it's like desert down there it's sandpaper
01:06:30just okay I get the picture
01:06:32just try it again
01:06:34no
01:06:36why is this happening
01:06:38we fooled around before
01:06:40I was dripping wet I came like four times remember
01:06:43just do what you did then
01:06:45go on
01:06:45I already did my thing
01:06:47I already tried
01:06:48what what is different this time
01:06:51I don't know
01:06:53last time
01:06:55I honestly don't even know what you're talking about
01:06:59what
01:07:00you're not JJ
01:07:03but your name is Jeremy Jones
01:07:06how can you not be JJ
01:07:07who the hell is this JJ
01:07:10where are you going
01:07:12we're not done here
01:07:13I can still do this
01:07:15I just need a little bit of fork
01:07:15I can do this
01:07:17I don't need JJ
01:07:18I don't need anyone else
01:07:20we can do this
01:07:21go team
01:07:23what
01:07:27just keep going
01:07:28shit
01:07:34where's Jeremy
01:07:45we were just
01:07:47you know
01:07:48hey babe
01:07:50just working out
01:07:52how could you
01:07:56you bastard
01:07:57you might want to
01:08:02what
01:08:02what
01:08:04Mariela
01:08:09Mariela
01:08:11you know those aren't mine
01:08:12at least not all of them
01:08:14what
01:08:16what is wrong with you
01:08:18what is wrong with you
01:08:22what is wrong with you
01:08:22you used to be so pure
01:08:25well no more
01:08:27that's it
01:08:28really
01:08:29that's the last one
01:08:30what is wrong with you
01:08:36what's wrong with you
01:08:39you
01:08:39who
01:08:41might happen
01:08:42Oh my god.
01:09:02Cheryl?
01:09:07What is it?
01:09:08What are you doing down here?
01:09:10Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far far away from here.
01:09:14What?
01:09:15Why?
01:09:16Nothing, just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:09:20Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:09:23No, it's not okay.
01:09:25God.
01:09:26And you know whose fault it is?
01:09:28I'm sorry.
01:09:29It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
01:09:31That blind cheating bastard.
01:09:34Yes.
01:09:35He's such a dickwad, you need to confront him.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:39Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:09:40I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:09:43Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:09:45You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:09:48Yeah, a big piece.
01:09:49A big old chunk of my mind.
01:09:51A big piece of it.
01:09:52Yeah.
01:09:53You know, you might wanna...
01:09:55You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:09:58Yeah, you're right.
01:09:59Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:10:00I know.
01:10:01I'm sorry.
01:10:02I'm sorry.
01:10:03I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:10:05I got no game.
01:10:19It's not important.
01:10:20Hey, um...
01:10:21Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:10:22No, no, no.
01:10:23I really need to talk to you.
01:10:24Really, Eric, I can't right now.
01:10:25No, no, no, no.
01:10:26I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it
01:10:32up to you.
01:10:33Eric, really?
01:10:34I don't care.
01:10:35It's fine.
01:10:36No, but I do.
01:10:37I mean, I do.
01:10:38I do.
01:10:39I do.
01:10:40I do.
01:10:41I do.
01:10:42I do.
01:10:43I do.
01:10:44I do.
01:10:45I do.
01:10:46I do.
01:10:47I do.
01:10:48I do.
01:10:49I do.
01:10:50I do.
01:10:51I do.
01:10:52I do.
01:10:53But I do.
01:10:54I mean, I do.
01:10:55I care.
01:10:56I haven't known how to tell you.
01:10:59Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:11:02But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:11:09Sometime.
01:11:10Soon.
01:11:11Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:11:14Really?
01:11:15Eric, you're shy.
01:11:16You have no game.
01:11:18No, not really.
01:11:20Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:11:23Sorry.
01:11:27Okay.
01:11:28Alright.
01:11:29I, uh...
01:11:32Happy birthday then.
01:11:44I'm sorry.
01:11:45I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:51wow.
01:11:55Here I come, baby.
01:11:57Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:12:12Oh.
01:12:13Eric, stop.
01:12:15Um, we can't do this.
01:12:17Sorry.
01:12:18No, I don't know.
01:12:19You're a honey happy...
01:12:22What the fuck is this?
01:12:23Who the hell are you, dude?
01:12:25Okay, guys.
01:12:26Don't.
01:12:30Cheryl.
01:12:31Baby.
01:12:32What is this?
01:12:34Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:12:36You're...
01:12:37I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:12:39Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:12:42You couldn't find me?
01:12:43What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:12:46or your penis getting sucked?
01:12:48Cheryl, honey.
01:12:49No, no.
01:12:50We can work this out.
01:12:51Baby, I love you.
01:12:53Jake, no, you have to go.
01:12:54Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:12:56I promise.
01:12:57No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:12:58I'm sorry.
01:12:59Cheryl, come on.
01:13:01No, Jake, please.
01:13:02Just go, just go.
01:13:03I'm sorry.
01:13:04You're a harmless bitch!
01:13:06How can you do...
01:13:07Yay!
01:13:08You did it.
01:13:09I am so proud of you.
01:13:10You got your revenge sex.
01:13:12You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:13:14Revenge sex?
01:13:16It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:13:19Right.
01:13:20That all makes sense now.
01:13:23Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:13:26Eric, I'm really...
01:13:27I'm really sorry.
01:13:29Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:13:32And you used me.
01:13:34Eric, please don't go.
01:13:36Please, Eric!
01:13:37Aren't you happy?
01:13:40Well, no, that's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:13:44You mean the sex?
01:13:45Was it...
01:13:46Yeah?
01:13:47No, we didn't quite do it.
01:13:49Oh.
01:13:50You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:13:51Really?
01:13:52I just never found the right guy.
01:13:54Or guys.
01:13:55Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:13:58People are starting to leave.
01:13:59I wonder how Sue did.
01:14:01I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:14:13This is bullshit!
01:14:14God!
01:14:15Oh!
01:14:16Oh!
01:14:17Oh!
01:14:18Dude, suck it!
01:14:19What the...
01:14:20God, I'm out of here!
01:14:22Yeah!
01:14:23He has good hair, though.
01:14:25I can't hear that.
01:14:29Don't you puke on me.
01:14:31Don't puke in my car, either.
01:14:45Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:14:48Was it from sex?
01:14:50Did you pop your cork?
01:14:51I don't think so.
01:14:52I'm not with the guy, anyway.
01:14:54Oh, don't ask.
01:14:55Every possible object.
01:14:57It's like every mechanical thing.
01:14:59It was like...
01:15:00Transformers.
01:15:01They just all became vibrators.
01:15:03I told you.
01:15:05It's addicting.
01:15:08So what about Chris?
01:15:09Well, last time I saw him,
01:15:10he was running away for dear life.
01:15:12I told you he was gay.
01:15:13Oh.
01:15:14Well, I think I'm just...
01:15:15Oh.
01:15:16Cramp.
01:15:19Oh.
01:15:20I think it's broken.
01:15:21So, wait.
01:15:22None of us cashed an RV card.
01:15:25Ha!
01:15:29Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:15:32So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:15:34Wanna go?
01:15:35No.
01:15:37I think I should finish up here.
01:15:39Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:15:41No.
01:15:42I don't know.
01:15:43For some reason, I just realized...
01:15:45He needs to be my first.
01:15:47Or something.
01:15:49Why? Do you know him?
01:15:50Sort of.
01:15:51Oh.
01:15:52Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:15:54just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:15:56Leave everything...
01:16:00Is high.
01:16:02Love him.
01:16:03Shut it.
01:16:04You wanna do it?
01:16:05I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:16:06You wanna get married?
01:16:07You wanna do it?
01:16:08All right, all right, all right.
01:16:09All right.
01:16:10All right.
01:16:11All right.
01:16:12Philipsis represents a sic也f.
01:16:14paper read,
01:16:15Paul,
01:16:19we try together,
01:16:20take it,
01:16:21take it,
01:16:22take it,
01:16:23take it,
01:16:24take it,
01:16:25take it,
01:16:26take it,
01:16:27take it,
01:16:28take it,
01:16:29take it,
01:16:30take it to you,
01:16:31take it,
01:16:32take it,
01:16:33take it,
01:16:35no.
01:16:36No!
01:16:37No way.
01:16:41...
01:16:42Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:17:12It's you. I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:17:30Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:17:50Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:18:16And when the heat is on, you never take it away.
01:18:25Give me a little fuck no more.
01:18:31And when the heat is on...
01:18:34Wow. That's amazing.
01:18:39Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:18:42I guess something inspired me.
01:18:45He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:18:48Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:18:53Whose?
01:18:54Eric's. It's him, right?
01:18:58Oh. Yeah.
01:19:02I have to go see him.
01:19:07Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:19:11One-nine-hundred confess.
01:19:24Sister Terese?
01:19:25Yeah, hon.
01:19:26Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:19:28I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:19:31Oh, sure.
01:19:33It's 271.
01:19:35Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:19:40Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, take you back?
01:19:46Sure, hon. Why-why not?
01:19:49As long as you're on the right path.
01:19:51Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:19:54I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:19:58Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:20:01Sister? Can I get up now? I really gotta pee.
01:20:06No! Hush your trap!
01:20:10Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:20:14I will.
01:20:16Thanks.
01:20:19Sister?
01:20:20Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you shit fucker!
01:20:36Eric, wait!
01:20:46Eric, um, look, I am so sorry-
01:20:49Cheryl?
01:20:52Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:20:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:20:59At the beginning, but then at the end-
01:21:01I didn't want to do that with you.
01:21:06The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:21:09Um, I said I wasn't.
01:21:12I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:21:15The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:21:18Um, I-I do want to go out with you.
01:21:23And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:21:26I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these-
01:21:29Eric!
01:21:30Eric!
01:21:32Come on, I gotta get going.
01:21:34Oh.
01:21:35Wow.
01:21:36Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:21:39Tina, Cheryl.
01:21:41Hi!
01:21:42Nice to meet you.
01:21:46Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?
01:21:52Yeah, sure.
01:21:53Oh.
01:21:54Sorry.
01:21:55No kissing, right?
01:21:56No, kissing.
01:21:57Oh.
01:21:58Mm.
01:21:59Mm.
01:22:00Mm.
01:22:01Mm.
01:22:02Mm.
01:22:03Mm.
01:22:04Mm.
01:22:05Mm.
01:22:06Mm.
01:22:07Mm.
01:22:08Mm.
01:22:09Mm.
01:22:10Mm.
01:22:14Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:22:21I don't even care that you hooked up a Plexi.
01:22:25Wait, what? I never did that.
01:22:28I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:22:30She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:22:37She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:22:39I wonder who it was.
01:22:51At least this birthday is over.
01:23:16Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:23:19I mean, if you could just...
01:23:21I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:23:49Excuse me, excuse me.
01:23:55Do you know where the church is?
01:23:57It's on Fountain Street.
01:23:59Yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:24:01Or used to go to.
01:24:03It's straight up that way and then left.
01:24:07You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:24:10Oh, well, I don't know.
01:24:20Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:24:22Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:24:26Like I said, you're more than welcome to torque.
01:24:30Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:24:32I don't think so.
01:24:34But thanks.
01:24:35What's your name?
01:24:36Sue.
01:24:37What's yours?
01:24:38Jesus.
01:24:39Really?
01:24:40Si.
01:24:41Maybe I could use the ride.
01:24:44Gasp.
01:24:47Sight.
01:24:48Maybe I could use the ride…
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