- 2 ngày trước
Jamila is arrested for shoplifting a magazine due to her misunderstanding the term "free" in promotional material. However, Mr. Brown and Ali later discover that Jamila has shoplifted many other items in the past. Mr. Brown and his students then work together to return the stolen items without being noticed.
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00:00To be continued...
00:30Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-wa, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-wa!
00:34Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
00:42Hello, good evening everyone.
00:45All right, sit down.
00:47Good evening.
00:48Good heavens, Ranjit, you're actually here on time.
00:50Yes.
00:51Well done.
00:52My name...
00:53Oh, yes, thank you, man.
00:55And thank you for carrying it.
00:57De nada, hombre. Permítame que le quite el abrigo, por favor.
01:00Oh, yes, thank you very much.
01:02Ya está usted, aquí estoy yo para servirle, señor Brown, porque yo la atenderé siempre bien.
01:08Usted?
01:09You're a Spanish creeper.
01:12You and Italian cuticle.
01:13All right, settle down, everybody. We've got a lot of work to do tonight.
01:17Right.
01:19Squeeze, please.
01:20Just sit down a minute, Harry, will you?
01:21No, thank you. I'm only coming to tell you I'm not coming.
01:24Not coming? Yes, please.
01:27Well, but you can't leave in the middle of a term.
01:28I mean, you were doing quite well. Why do you want to leave?
01:30Oh, blimey, I'm coming up on the puddles.
01:33Coming up on the puddles?
01:34Yes, please. The football puddles.
01:37Oh, the football pool?
01:38Yes, and I'm getting eight scoring draws.
01:42How many draws on the capon?
01:43Only the eight I'm getting.
01:45How much are you in?
01:47Oh, blimey, it could be half a million pounds.
01:51Santa Maria!
01:52Oh, I'm very happy for you because you are my best friend.
01:58He's also my friend.
02:01Amigo mio, blimey, blimey, blimey, blimey, blimey.
02:05I am the true friend of Ali.
02:09You?
02:10But of course, we are practically bloody brothers.
02:14I thought you didn't like Muslims.
02:16I love Muslims, especially when they're having half a million pounds.
02:21Well, I don't know what to say, Ali.
02:22I mean, I'm very pleased for you, of course.
02:24I'm also being very pleased for me.
02:26Yeah, what will you do?
02:27Oh, blimey, I'm going to the bed.
02:30To bed?
02:31Yes, please.
02:32With all that money, I'm not needing to be working, so I'm going to bed.
02:36You mean you're going to retire?
02:38Most definitely.
02:39Yeah.
02:39You're quite sure you've got eight score draws?
02:41Oh, yes.
02:41I got the copy.
02:43Here, please.
02:44The one I'm ticking off.
02:46I see.
02:47Yeah, well, Ali, I don't think you're going to be able to retire just yet.
02:50You mean he's not got eight draws?
02:52Oh, yes.
02:52He's got eight draws.
02:54Oh, good.
02:55They're not all on the same line.
02:56What difference is that making?
02:58Well, it means you haven't won anything.
03:00Nothing at all?
03:01Nothing at all.
03:03Ha!
03:04Bellos!
03:04Yeah.
03:05Yeah.
03:05It's a pangal.
03:07Lock off!
03:08Yeah.
03:09That's my car.
03:11Typical of that Muslim tweet.
03:13No friends whatsoever.
03:15Oh, blimey, you are changing tune.
03:17When you are thinking that I am very wealthy, you are being my bloody brother.
03:21That is before I am finding out you are bloody stupid.
03:24Don't you find me bloody stupid, you bearded baboon.
03:27Quiet the pair of you and sit down.
03:29I presume you're staying now, Ali.
03:32I'm staying now, yes.
03:33Good.
03:35Right.
03:35Now, this evening I thought we'd try some practical use of the English language by acting out various
03:40situations that you might come across in real life.
03:43Now, we'll start with you, Taro.
03:45Ah, so.
03:50Now, you are going to the bank.
03:53Banco?
03:54Yes, sir.
03:55Where are you going?
03:58Banco.
03:59No, it's only a pretend bank.
04:01Pretendo?
04:02Yes, sir.
04:03Yes, yes.
04:04Look, we'll imagine that this table is the bank counter, that I'm the bank clerk, that you
04:08are a customer, and you've come in to cash a check.
04:10All right?
04:12Okay.
04:13Good morning, sir.
04:14It is, sir.
04:16Not good morning time.
04:18It is, sir.
04:19Good night time.
04:21Yes, it is now, but we are pretending.
04:24Ah, sir.
04:26Kelly on.
04:27Good morning, sir.
04:28One moment, sir.
04:29What is it now?
04:30Are you Barclay, sir?
04:31Or Midland-o?
04:34It doesn't matter.
04:35Midland, if you like.
04:36Good morning, sir.
04:38Goodbye.
04:42Goodbye?
04:44Midland-o, not my banco.
04:48Barclay, sir, my banco.
04:51Yeah, all right.
04:52It's Barclays.
04:53Good morning, sir.
04:54Good morning.
04:55Ah.
04:56You wish to cash a check?
04:58Yes, please, sir.
04:59Good.
04:59How much?
05:00Ten pounds?
05:01Twenty?
05:01Thirty?
05:02Thirty-o.
05:03How do you want it?
05:04In money, please, sir.
05:06Thirty pounds in tens, ones, or fives, or what?
05:10Can I have, uh, thirty or fives, sir?
05:14No, that would be 150 pounds.
05:16Ah, sorry.
05:17Poor mistake.
05:18Yeah, well, not to worry.
05:19Thank you, Tara.
05:19That's not too bad.
05:20Now, who shall we have next?
05:22Ah, Danielle.
05:27Quiet.
05:27Ah, you are the nicest banker I have seen.
05:32Yes, sir, we're not in the bank now.
05:33I want you to imagine something different.
05:35Mm, I have very good imagination.
05:38Yes, I'm sure you have.
05:39Now, I want you to, uh, you, you were going to the post office, and I am the assistant.
05:44Oh.
05:44Hmm?
05:45Excuse me.
05:46Can you help me?
05:47Certainly, madam.
05:48What is it you wish?
05:49How much it is, a letter to post?
05:52Uh, is it to somewhere in England?
05:54No, it is a Swiss letter.
05:56A Swiss letter?
05:57Yes, I write to my boyfriend in Switzerland.
06:00Yeah, well, it's more correct to say that you want to send a letter to Switzerland, not
06:02a Swiss letter.
06:03It could be rather embarrassing if you were writing to someone in France.
06:07Pardon?
06:08Oh, it doesn't matter.
06:10I think I need some extra English lesson.
06:13Maybe I could stay here with you after class?
06:15No, I don't think we could do that.
06:18Well, I come home with you, and you can teach me a lot, sir.
06:22Yes, I'm sure I could, but I think you know quite sufficient already.
06:25Now, is there anything else you want?
06:28Yes, but I cannot tell you here.
06:33From the post office?
06:36No, nothing.
06:38Well, all right.
06:39Thank you, Daniel.
06:40That'll do.
06:40Good.
06:42Now, uh, Juan.
06:44Si, senor.
06:45Well, you are going to the employment exchange.
06:48Por favor.
06:49Well, you're going to get a job.
06:51Ah, I have job.
06:53Yeah, I know that, but we're assuming that you don't, and that you're going to the employment
06:56exchange to get one.
06:57As I explained to Taro, we are just pretending.
07:00Ah, sorry.
07:00Ah, right.
07:02What is your name?
07:03You know my name.
07:06As I do with the clerk at the job center, doesn't it?
07:09Ah, si.
07:10Juan Cervantes para servirle.
07:12Oh, right.
07:14Are you married?
07:16Si.
07:17I'm married to Gina Lollobrigida.
07:24Don't be ridiculous.
07:27Pretending.
07:30Touché.
07:31All right.
07:32What sort of a job are you looking for?
07:34A plenty money job.
07:36What sort of work do you want to do in order to earn this plenty money?
07:40Plenty little.
07:43All right, Juan.
07:45That'll be sufficient.
07:46Pretty.
07:46I like it.
07:47A very good game.
07:48Thank you, Juan.
07:51Right, now, Ranjit.
07:56What is it you're wanting me to do?
07:58You are going to the doctor's.
08:00And what is the nature of my complaint?
08:02Well, let's just say that you don't feel well.
08:05But I'm never feeling better.
08:06Yeah, well, pretend you have a cold.
08:09A cold what?
08:09All right, let's forget about the cold.
08:14Just imagine that you have a pain.
08:16Very well, sir.
08:18Well, go on.
08:20A thousand apologies.
08:22I am waiting for you to say, next, please.
08:25Doctor always say, next, please.
08:29Next, please.
08:32Good morning, doctor.
08:33Good morning.
08:34And what seems to be the trouble?
08:36I have terrible pain.
08:38Whereabouts?
08:38In my imagination.
08:42You're supposed to pretend it's a real pain.
08:46A thousand apologies again.
08:48I have real terrible pain.
08:51Good.
08:52Now, whereabouts is this pain?
08:53In my foot.
08:56But his brains are hurting.
09:00Perhaps I will be hurting in a moment.
09:02Oh, blimey.
09:03You couldn't even crack a poppadum.
09:04I'll give you a bunch of fibers.
09:06I'll give you a bunch of terroats.
09:07Come on, come on.
09:08Can you see it?
09:09Come on, I'm going to be there.
09:10I'm going to be there.
09:12Ah, it's caught me.
09:13What on earth is going on in here?
09:14Well, we were just having a few practical lessons.
09:17What in?
09:18Unarmed combat?
09:19Oh, it might come in useful.
09:21Oh.
09:21Well, I'm afraid your students will have to do without you for a little while.
09:26You're wanted down at the police station.
09:28The police station?
09:29There's no need to look so guilty.
09:30It's nothing you've done.
09:31It's about one of your students, the Indian lady.
09:34Oh, Jamila.
09:35What?
09:35Has something happened to her?
09:36Yes.
09:37Yes.
09:38She's been arrested for shoplifting.
09:40Hello?
09:58Hello?
10:00Constable Wilkins?
10:02Where the devil are you? You should have been back here by now.
10:06Pardon?
10:08No, I will not send a panda car for you.
10:10I don't care if someone has pinched your bicycle.
10:12Pinch somebody else's.
10:16Would you like a cup of tea?
10:22A tea?
10:24A cup of tea?
10:26Chah!
10:28Oh, yes, please.
10:30No, thank you. For sugar.
10:32Don't run away.
10:38Jamila, are you all right?
10:40Oh, shukar hai, Master Ji.
10:42Aap looga agae muje yahan se bachane ke liye.
10:44What did she say, Ali?
10:48In English.
10:50Oh, excuse me, please. She's saying that she's very glad
10:52that we are coming to help her escape.
10:54Ask her what she stole.
10:56Ravi, kya churaa tha haapne?
10:58Loji churaa na kya tha.
11:00Mufat mein aai, free.
11:02Toh, mein aai utha liya.
11:04Ab yeh log kya tha hai, tu ne chori kiya.
11:06Well, nothing.
11:08She must have said more than that.
11:10Yes, please. She's saying that she's took a book
11:12from the newspaper shop, but the book was free.
11:14Well, there's obviously been some misunderstanding.
11:16I'll sort it out with the police.
11:18Will they be sending her to prison?
11:20No, no, no. Nothing as drastic as that.
11:22I'll have a word with the sergeant. Five pounds ought to do it.
11:24Ah, I'm understanding. That is a fine.
11:26No, no, no. It's not exactly a fine.
11:28Let's just say it's a little gift.
11:30Gift?
11:31Yes, it's an old English custom.
11:32I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
11:34Ah, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.
11:36That's right.
11:37Very well. What are you being itchy?
11:38No, no, no. It's fine.
11:39It's fine.
11:40John.
11:44G-g-god.
11:45Heavenly.
11:47Good evening.
11:48Good evening.
11:49Are you Mr. Brown?
11:50No, he's Mr. Brown.
11:51I was speaking to him.
11:53You have this for the right first time.
11:55Who are you?
11:56Ali Nadim.
11:57No, I am Ali Nadim.
11:59You are Mr. Brown.
12:00Yes, Ali. I'll do the talking, all right?
12:02You just leave it to me.
12:03Now, I'm sure we can sort this out, Inspector.
12:06The Commissioner looks after promotions here, sir.
12:08Yes.
12:09Well, you look like an inspector.
12:10I'm sure it's only a matter of time.
12:12May I compliment you on your station and what a wonderful job you're doing?
12:15Thank you, sir.
12:16Now, about this young lady.
12:17Ah, yes.
12:18I expect you'd like to have a look at my driving licence.
12:21What for?
12:22Oh, to verify my identity.
12:23You said you were Mr. Brown.
12:25Yes, but you want some proof, don't you?
12:27Look, if you tell me you're Mr. Brown, I accept that as the truth.
12:30Yes, but I could have been lying.
12:31Were you lying?
12:32No, he's definitely Mr. Brown.
12:34He's telling the truth.
12:35I insist you look at my driving licence.
12:38Oh, very well, if it'll make you happy.
12:44Is this yours, sir?
12:45Pardon?
12:46This £5 note, it was inside your driving licence.
12:49Are you sure?
12:50It could have dropped out of your trouser pocket.
12:52Oh, yes.
12:53And dropped upwards, I suppose, onto the desk.
12:55You might have had it tucked up your sleeve.
12:57Yes, and I could have a couple of dubs up the other, but I haven't.
13:00It was definitely in your licence.
13:02Yes, Sergeant, it's correct.
13:03I remember you putting it there not a moment ago.
13:07I forgot.
13:08It was just before you said, you scratch my back and I scratch yours.
13:13Thank you, George Washington.
13:15No, I'm Ali.
13:17Ali, just be quiet, please.
13:19Now, Sergeant, about this young lady.
13:21Yes, the accused.
13:22Yes, well, remember British justice.
13:24I mean, a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty,
13:26and this poor lady is innocent.
13:28I know that.
13:29I mean, just because she's an immigrant, you can't go picking...
13:30Pardon?
13:31Oh, she pinched the book, all right.
13:33But she thought it was Buck Shee.
13:35See what it says on the front cover?
13:37Free inside.
13:39Colour supplement.
13:40That's right.
13:41Oh, and she thought the whole thing was free.
13:43Yes.
13:44Ah, well, then it's not her fault.
13:45If anyone's to blame, it's the person who's been teaching her English.
13:48It's not always easy.
13:49Well, if that's all, we'll be getting along.
13:50Come along, Jamila.
13:51Oh, but our children must have...
13:52Before you go, sir, would you like to make a donation to our police charity fund?
14:01Yes, well, you've caught me at a rather an awkward moment.
14:04What about the fiver?
14:05You remember, sir?
14:07The one you thought you never had.
14:09Oh, that fiver.
14:10You know what they say, sir?
14:11What you've never had, you never miss.
14:13Unless, of course, you knew it was there all the time,
14:16in which case it would come under bribery and corruption.
14:21You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.
14:30See, Mr Brown is not back.
14:32Now, what are you doing at the moment?
14:33We are studying our English glamour.
14:35Good.
14:36How far have you got?
14:37Let me see your book.
14:39Giovanni, Miss Courtney would like to see your book.
14:43I want to see your book.
14:54The Affairs of a Call Girl.
14:57I thought it was about the adventures of a telephone operator.
15:00Honest.
15:02A likely story.
15:05Well, until Mr Brown returns, I shall take the class.
15:08Signora.
15:11Where are you taking us?
15:14I am not taking you anywhere.
15:16I am going to ask you a few questions on general knowledge.
15:19Pardon?
15:20Now, first of all, can anyone tell me who said,
15:23to be or not to be?
15:25Please?
15:26You just said it?
15:28Yes.
15:29But before I said it, who said it?
15:32Excuse, please.
15:33Yes?
15:34Chairman Mao.
15:35Chairman Mao.
15:38It may come as a surprise to you to know,
15:39but other people wrote things besides Chairman Mao.
15:41Chairman Mao liked everything.
15:43Well, he certainly didn't like...
15:45right.
15:47To be or not to be.
15:48Now, does anybody know?
15:50William Shakespeare.
15:52Correct.
15:54Excuse, please.
15:55Who is this William Spear-Sheik?
15:58Shakespeare.
16:00Thousand apologies.
16:01Are you not familiar with Shakespeare's works?
16:05Is it a big place?
16:07Is what a big place?
16:09These works of Shakespeare.
16:12I am referring to the things he wrote.
16:14Ah, scusi.
16:16Now then, can anyone tell me what the population of England is?
16:21Miss Schmidt?
16:22Yeah.
16:23English.
16:27Not any longer.
16:30However, what I really meant was how many people are there?
16:33I do not know.
16:34I have not counted them.
16:36Well, let me ask you a simple question.
16:38Mr Nagasumi.
16:40Ah, so.
16:43Can you tell me how many peas there are in a pound?
16:47Depends on size of peas.
16:52I think you had better all go back to studying your books until Mr Brown returns.
16:56You surely can't be much longer.
16:58Not much longer.
17:06Come sit.
17:08I'll make tea.
17:10Yes, sir.
17:12How will she tell us why she's brought us back here?
17:15She just said she was having something to show you.
17:17She's saying thank you for saving her from the police and hopes that you will do the same next time.
17:30Well, I hope there's not going to be a next time.
17:37Now, let's see.
17:39Free offer?
17:40Two pee off each tin?
17:42Supermark.
17:43Supermarket?
17:44Why?
17:45Well, they've obviously been having a...
17:47Oh, no.
17:48Free offer.
17:49You haven't been taking things from the supermarket.
17:58Oh, dearie me.
18:00Say that again.
18:02Oh, dearie me.
18:04You must go back and see the police sergeant and scratch his bag again.
18:09Can't do that.
18:10He'll never believe this was a mistake.
18:11I mean, pinching a magazine is one thing, but knocking off half a supermarket is rather a different matter.
18:16On the other hand, we can't let Jamila keep all these stolen goods.
18:19It's dishonest.
18:21She can give them to me?
18:22I don't mind being dishonest.
18:24I'm sure you don't.
18:26Now, listen, Ali.
18:27I want you to go back to the school and ask all the students to meet Jamila and I outside the supermarket.
18:32What are we going to be doing?
18:33We're going to be putting all these things back.
18:39Hello, Gladys.
18:40Everything locked up?
18:41Yes, Miss Courtney.
18:42By the way, I don't suppose you could give me a lift?
18:45Oh, I'm sorry, Gladys.
18:46I'm not going straight home tonight.
18:47There are one or two things I want from the supermarket.
18:49Right, now you all know what to do.
19:03Just be very, very careful that nobody sees you.
19:05All right?
19:19All right.
19:46What are you doing here?
19:47here. ah well I suppose you could say it was an extracurricular activity. sir excuse
19:53me he's stuck. what are you doing with that job? I'll try to get it out. it's a long story Miss Courtley I'll explain later. let me give you a hand.
20:00Paul! Paul!
20:07all right I've been watching you lot just what do you think you're doing? would you
20:12believe we were putting things back? no. I didn't think you would. well well well regular
20:21little fagin aren't you? I can explain sergeant. you're not gonna show me your
20:25driving license again are you? no. that's a relief. you see we were actually trying to
20:30return the goods. I mean ask the students. now look here sergeant. it was obviously just a
20:37misunderstanding and I see no reason why you should pursue this any further. I'm
20:40sorry madam. miss if you don't mind. yes. well I'm afraid I shall have to make a report out on this
20:47affair. oh no couldn't you just forget it ever happened? no. well I'm sure your
20:51police charity fund wouldn't say no to another contribution sergeant. well we're
20:56always grateful for anything sir. shall we say another five pounds? that's very
21:01generous of you. oh right. right come along everybody. just a moment mr. brown. where are
21:08you going? I've not made up my report yet. yeah but I've just given you five pounds to forgive it. oh no sir.
21:15you very kindly donated five pounds to our charity fund. it wasn't meant as a bribe was it sir?
21:22no. no. good. now let's take a few names. you madam. sorry. miss.
21:30corkney. thank you. you sir. see. what's your name? por favor. how do you spell that?
21:42that's not his name? oh giving me a false name eh? por favor. I'll come back to you
21:49Mr. por favor or whatever your name is. you. yes please. what is your name? oh no. what is not my name?
21:59I don't want to know what your name is not. what is your name? and I'm telling you it is not. you. what is his name?
22:09what is his name? nine. aha. now we're getting somewhere. mr. nine. that is not his name. you just said it was. you ask me if his name is what and I tell you nine. what is not his name but also not that.
22:23going around the fence. what is his name? absolutely not. not what? that is correct.
22:31what is your name? wrong again? he's not here. who's not here? what?
22:40who is not here and what is not here neither? you're all balmy. mr. brown.
22:49if I promise not to proceed with this report will you do me a favor? yes. what is it?
22:55get these crackpots out of here and promise never to bring them back even if they've committed murder
23:11good evening Miss Courtney or should I say Mother? please don't remind me of last night's unfortunate incident. sorry.
23:18I hope you've explained to your Indian lady the difference between free and free offer.
23:23oh yes she understands it now don't worry it won't happen again.
23:27excuse me I'm looking for a Jamila Ramjack.
23:31are you thinking what I'm thinking? I hope not.
23:34why do you want Jamila? well she ordered a minibike from us a month ago she hasn't paid for it we sent her three invoices.
23:39she actually ordered the bike? oh yes she sent in the coupon look here it is.
23:44oh no she's done it again seven day free trial.
23:47oh no she's done it again seven day free trial.
23:48yeah
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