FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB
Follow our telegram group to get the latest movie updates
https://t.me/Alldramashort
#drama #cdrama #romantic #love #movie #shortdrama
Follow our telegram group to get the latest movie updates
https://t.me/Alldramashort
#drama #cdrama #romantic #love #movie #shortdrama
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:02CastingWords
00:01:04CastingWords
00:01:06CastingWords
00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.
00:01:10Not on this street we don't.
00:01:12Everybody's at it.
00:01:14Not with me they're not.
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.
00:01:18Not this one.
00:01:20I'm the silent majority.
00:01:22This only matters these days.
00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.
00:01:26God is long.
00:01:28Jesus!
00:01:32We've never seen him in real life though.
00:01:34Only his picture in the papers.
00:01:36Oh come on Sandra let's go.
00:01:38No I don't want to.
00:01:40I want to wait.
00:01:42I want to wait.
00:01:44I want to wait.
00:01:46I want to wait.
00:01:48I want to wait.
00:01:50I want to wait.
00:01:52I want to wait.
00:01:54I want to wait.
00:01:56I want to wait.
00:01:58Oh no.
00:01:59I want to wait.
00:02:00diocese or Dean
00:02:02I want to wait.
00:02:04I can't wait.
00:02:05You know what's up for real life though.
00:02:07Well he's picturing the papers.
00:02:10Oh come on Sandra.
00:02:11Let's go.
00:02:12No I don't want to.
00:02:13Oh I want to wait.
00:02:14Oh let's wait.
00:02:15Oh wait.
00:02:16Please let's go.
00:02:22Oh No.
00:02:22Oh no!
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:27I don't fancy yours.
00:02:29Which is mine?
00:02:31Any except the blonde.
00:02:33Oh, good.
00:02:36Who are being stared at?
00:02:38Where?
00:02:41I don't fancy yours.
00:02:45Which is mine?
00:02:46Any.
00:02:47Except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs.
00:02:52Thanks. Neither do I.
00:02:55Fancy the one with the twitch?
00:03:00About as much as Mountsytung's grandad, with all due respect.
00:03:04To his grandad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up. There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:13Ignore them.
00:03:22Hi.
00:03:23Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:25Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:32Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Majorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:40May only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:43It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:54I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:02We were going for lunch.
00:04:04Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Majorca?
00:04:11It's one place I've never been.
00:04:14Pardon?
00:04:17I'm Jeffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:41Don't you worry.
00:04:44Love and rainy weather may sound funny.
00:04:49But they go together fine.
00:04:55Every single time.
00:04:59Love and rainy weather.
00:05:01First you're up there.
00:05:04On another plane and then you're nowhere.
00:05:09And the tears are raining down.
00:05:13It's a run around.
00:05:15It's a run around.
00:05:19Love and rainy weather.
00:05:22Sure can get you down.
00:05:27Not going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:33That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:35For what?
00:05:36Cutting a rug.
00:05:38Pardon?
00:05:39Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:40It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:41Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:42Right?
00:05:43What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:44Right.
00:05:45Right on.
00:05:46You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:47Tonight?
00:05:48Tomorrow night?
00:05:49Every night.
00:05:50You might sell me overcoat.
00:05:51Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:05:53Really?
00:05:54Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:05:55Hustle.
00:05:56Hustle.
00:05:57It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:05:58We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this Finney Haddy cost.
00:06:01They do their own thing.
00:06:02The usual 1,300 weight.
00:06:03Yes, please.
00:06:04Now, that's the best.
00:06:05Now, that's the best.
00:06:06You're staying in tonight, then?
00:06:07You're staying in tonight, then?
00:06:08Tonight?
00:06:09Tomorrow night?
00:06:10Tomorrow night?
00:06:11Every night.
00:06:12You might sell me overcoat.
00:06:13Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:14Really?
00:06:15Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:16Hustle.
00:06:17It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:18We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this Finney Haddy cost.
00:06:19They do their own thing.
00:06:20The usual 1,300 weight?
00:06:21Yes, please.
00:06:22Now, that's the new world that we work for and fought for.
00:06:28Full-page advert for contraception.
00:06:31It's his birthright.
00:06:35I'm not hungry.
00:06:36What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:39It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:51I enjoy staying in Chattingham an evening.
00:07:02I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:05No, really.
00:07:06I really do.
00:07:08Some people don't.
00:07:10I do.
00:07:13Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:19Paul McCartney who?
00:07:20He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:23And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:26I sacrificed too much for your six-o levels.
00:07:29You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:32I never touched you.
00:07:34Terrific self-control.
00:07:36What did you say your name was?
00:07:37Mind you, just a weekend I'd do with you, Paul.
00:07:53Not a dirty weekend.
00:07:54A disgusting one.
00:07:55Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:07:58Have you always been insatiable?
00:07:59It's not my fault, Paul.
00:08:00PLEASE
00:08:10Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:24Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:28It's not my fault.
00:08:30It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:36It's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:45Ah...
00:09:02Oh, Sandra.
00:09:05It is almost blond in this light.
00:09:11What's wrong?
00:09:13Just being brave.
00:09:15What about?
00:09:17Ending it all.
00:09:19Before we hurt each other too much.
00:09:23It's our first date.
00:09:25I've probably wasted your entire evening, haven't I?
00:09:30Not yet.
00:09:32Not if your parents aren't back till midnight.
00:09:37Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing?
00:09:40Straight from Stanley Matthews to Brigitte Bardot you went overnight.
00:09:45That was when you were too young for this sort of thing.
00:09:49It's artistic, Mother.
00:09:51Like your Tutankhamen butter dish.
00:09:53What?
00:09:54Got it.
00:09:55Got what?
00:09:56You now ask if I never want to see you again.
00:09:57I say I do.
00:09:58You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like,
00:10:00How about Sunday, half seven outside Central Library?
00:10:01No, I don't.
00:10:02Tomorrow, half seven outside Central Library.
00:10:03Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:05It does not.
00:10:06I thought it did.
00:10:07Not till you've unfastened the press stud.
00:10:08I can see her doing your ironing and cooking and
00:10:10I can see her doing your ironing and cooking.
00:10:11I don't want to see you again.
00:10:12I say I do.
00:10:13You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like,
00:10:14How about Sunday, half seven outside Central Library?
00:10:17No, I don't.
00:10:19Tomorrow, half seven outside Central Library.
00:10:22Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:27It does not.
00:10:29I thought it did.
00:10:31Not till you've unfastened the press stud.
00:10:33I can see her doing your ironing and cooking and cleaning.
00:10:38You wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime.
00:10:40I don't intend to marry her mother.
00:10:42In case it interferes with my career.
00:10:45We're just good friends.
00:10:47Good night.
00:10:48Good night.
00:11:02Miss Bardot.
00:11:05Marry me.
00:11:09You know what they say?
00:11:11Once you've had a Manchester lad, you never touch anything else.
00:11:14Martin.
00:11:15Martin!
00:11:16Martin!
00:11:17Martin!
00:11:18Martin!
00:11:19Martin!
00:11:20Martin!
00:11:21Martin!
00:11:22Martin!
00:11:24Martin!
00:11:25Martin!
00:11:27Martin!
00:11:29Martin!
00:11:30About time and all.
00:11:31Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:33Aye.
00:11:34Peace, man.
00:11:36Have a good time this night?
00:11:37Great.
00:11:38Is this you?
00:11:39Satisfied.
00:11:40I said in for a change.
00:11:43Did you get much?
00:11:46Did you?
00:11:51Did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?
00:11:54Not that I have done.
00:11:57They had him for a change instead.
00:12:12Ticket? I ain't got me ticket.
00:12:19We're late already.
00:12:22See you behind the goal then.
00:12:24Well, tonight's beauty sleep's done nothing for her.
00:12:43Snooty old bag.
00:12:49Trendy. Crimson shoes with bottle green socks.
00:12:54Must be going steady with a set of traffic lights.
00:12:57Still, who else would have him?
00:13:00Anyway, they're all the same in the dark, rumour has it.
00:13:11Different girl every night. You can tell the type.
00:13:15Probably an omen seeing her before the match.
00:13:18I bet we lose 3-1.
00:13:21Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:13:23At least I've got me proud.
00:13:26Oh, hello.
00:13:28Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:31Didn't see you. No, Normie.
00:13:34You going that way?
00:13:35Yeah. Not especially, no.
00:13:38You going that?
00:13:40Yeah, well...
00:13:42No. I was sort of...
00:13:44Going to the football match?
00:13:46Are you?
00:13:47I'm probably going to the pictures tonight.
00:13:48I am.
00:13:49Which?
00:13:50Which are you?
00:13:51Any.
00:13:52I am.
00:13:53See you then.
00:13:54Tonight?
00:13:55Pardon?
00:13:56Oh, I...
00:13:57All right, then.
00:13:58Right.
00:13:59Right.
00:14:01Super socks.
00:14:02Did you see that?
00:14:03They're all on drugs.
00:14:04A lot of them.
00:14:05They're all on drugs.
00:14:06A lot of them.
00:14:07They're all on drugs.
00:14:08A lot of them.
00:14:09They're all on drugs.
00:14:10They are no drugs.
00:14:11They are no drugs.
00:14:12No, beware.
00:14:13They are no drugs.
00:14:15They are no drugs.
00:14:22And they all on drugs.
00:14:23They have a lot of them.
00:14:25It's gone.
00:14:26I'm sorry!
00:14:27I'm sorry.
00:14:28Did he score?
00:14:46Losin, 3-1.
00:14:58Excuse me.
00:15:09Excuse me, I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:25Ah.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:31Hello, mate.
00:15:33Peace man.
00:15:34Surprise, surprise.
00:15:35Surprise.
00:15:36Been anywhere controversial?
00:15:38Pictures.
00:15:39The boyfriend.
00:15:40She's slim.
00:15:41I'm just going to the...
00:15:42Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:46Are you and Beryl, um, you know...
00:15:51You know.
00:15:53Oh.
00:16:03Would you, uh...
00:16:05What do you sort of reckon?
00:16:06She's a...
00:16:08Fair sort of bird.
00:16:10Sort of.
00:16:12She's all right.
00:16:15I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:18Jeffrey.
00:16:19She's a bird.
00:16:23You having a coffee with us?
00:16:25No, thanks, kid.
00:16:26Neville's ravenous.
00:16:27You've just eaten.
00:16:29Oh, of course.
00:16:30Yeah.
00:16:31Sorry.
00:16:32You see, what I thought Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:39By implication.
00:16:40Probably by implication.
00:16:42It was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgement.
00:16:46You see?
00:16:47Yes.
00:16:48Was he the errand boy?
00:16:49Was who the errand boy?
00:16:50Ken Thingy.
00:16:51He directed it.
00:16:52Oh, yes.
00:16:53I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:16:54Probably.
00:16:55You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:16:56Well, probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:16:57It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:16:58And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:02Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:03Sex?
00:17:04Marriage.
00:17:05Pardon?
00:17:06The number of boys that asked me to marry them.
00:17:07A couple of people.
00:17:08A couple of people.
00:17:09Oh, yes.
00:17:10Yes.
00:17:11Yes.
00:17:12Yes.
00:17:13Yes.
00:17:14Yes.
00:17:15Yes.
00:17:16Yes.
00:17:17Yes.
00:17:18Yes.
00:17:19Yes.
00:17:20Yes.
00:17:21Yes.
00:17:22Yes.
00:17:23Yes.
00:17:24Yes.
00:17:25Yes.
00:17:26Yes.
00:17:27Yes.
00:17:28Yes.
00:17:29Yes.
00:17:30Yes.
00:17:31Yes.
00:17:32It's a couple of dates and how they want to get married.
00:17:35I want to live a bit before I get married.
00:17:37I suppose I just don't have a hang up about it.
00:17:40Get married?
00:17:42Hmm.
00:17:43No.
00:17:48Actually, I find girls and most girls I'm a bit obsessed these days.
00:17:55Not marriage.
00:17:56No.
00:17:57Sex.
00:17:59Percy Phil.
00:18:02Sex. That's what I said.
00:18:05Oh.
00:18:07Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:09Not personal motivated?
00:18:11No.
00:18:13No.
00:18:26Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol?
00:18:29Ken Russell? Yeah. No.
00:18:32This is it.
00:18:51I won't come in, with it being our first date. No.
00:18:55Oh. Anywhere me mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:18:59Is that a reason for me not coming in, though?
00:19:02Yes, Geoffrey.
00:19:04Oh.
00:19:06Oh.
00:19:13Nice house.
00:19:1625-year mortgage.
00:19:18Oh, thanks for seeing me home.
00:19:25Funny, isn't it?
00:19:28First date with someone.
00:19:30It always leads to one of three things.
00:19:33Either nothing.
00:19:36Or something.
00:19:40Or everything.
00:19:43Don't think about Percy Filth at this stage, Beryl.
00:19:46You're not.
00:19:48No, I'm not.
00:19:51Night-night. God bless.
00:19:52I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females.
00:20:07What is it?
00:20:08Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:10The easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five, which is two less than seven,
00:20:14then two fours, and half of four, which is two, and half of two, which is one.
00:20:17But you mustn't ring me if you don't want.
00:20:18No.
00:20:19But you can if you do.
00:20:20Do you want me to?
00:20:21Not if you'd rather not.
00:20:22Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:23Night.
00:20:47Well, hello, Mrs. Battersby.
00:21:02Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea.
00:21:04Oh, they all have a past life flashed before me then.
00:21:11Can't be Mother's Day.
00:21:12You'd have forgotten.
00:21:14Has there been any clips?
00:21:16Mum, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:21What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:23You see, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication...
00:21:27Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:28Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things.
00:21:30These things. Everything.
00:21:33Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:34He's fantastically intelligent.
00:21:36See, Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:38Bella, who's Geoffrey?
00:21:41Oh, no-one.
00:21:46No-one special.
00:21:52His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:58How did this Beryl Bird turn out last night then?
00:22:01What Beryl Bird?
00:22:02I told him.
00:22:04Did she, er...
00:22:05Did she, er...
00:22:06Did she, er...
00:22:07What?
00:22:09Oh!
00:22:10Wow!
00:22:12She doesn't, then.
00:22:15You don't listen, do you?
00:22:17I said...
00:22:18How about Sundry?
00:22:27Chips.
00:22:28Sod.
00:22:34Not seeing him tonight, then.
00:22:40Who?
00:22:45I've rather better things to do, thank you.
00:22:47Said he was no-one special.
00:22:57Have they got a phone here?
00:22:59Why?
00:23:01They haven't, have they?
00:23:04Do you want to get some nookie lined up or something?
00:23:07I...
00:23:08If I did, do you think I'd be playing darts with you two?
00:23:10Look, are you fed up here?
00:23:13Are you?
00:23:14No.
00:23:15We'll split after this game.
00:23:16Anything you say.
00:23:17We can go for a few at the King's Head.
00:23:19Great.
00:23:21And that ends our probe.
00:23:23Well, Monday tomorrow.
00:23:24Hallelujah.
00:23:26Pardon?
00:23:27I don't know what you're paying for that phone, but whatever it is, you're being done.
00:23:31Goodnight.
00:23:57Morning.
00:23:58Morning.
00:23:59Chalton for Pope.
00:24:00Long may you reign.
00:24:01Amen.
00:24:02What's going on?
00:24:03Pound's up again.
00:24:04Oh, God.
00:24:05Today's special.
00:24:06Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:07Here.
00:24:08Suddenly everyone's going on holiday.
00:24:09Except those.
00:24:10Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:13What's going on?
00:24:14Pound's up again.
00:24:15Oh, God.
00:24:16Today's special.
00:24:17Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:18Here.
00:24:19Suddenly everyone's going on holiday.
00:24:20Except those.
00:24:21Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:40Why do we always do that?
00:24:4793 times a day.
00:24:49We never see anything.
00:24:52See you.
00:24:53What?
00:24:54We never see what you've done.
00:24:55Yeah, no.
00:24:56Oh, I'm a junior.
00:24:57I'm a junior, just like a junior.
00:24:59You're me, girl.
00:25:01I'm a junior.
00:25:02And when you're young.
00:25:03I'm a junior.
00:25:04I'm a junior.
00:25:05It's my junior.
00:25:06My junior?
00:25:07I'm a junior.
00:25:08I was a junior.
00:25:09Oh, thank you.
00:25:10I'm a junior.
00:25:11I'm a junior.
00:25:12I was a junior.
00:25:15No, I didn't feel it.
00:25:17My junior?
00:25:18I was a junior junior.
00:25:19I was a junior junior.
00:25:20Oh, Geoffrey.
00:25:24That Neville's the greatest.
00:25:29Is he dishy or is he dishy?
00:25:35Neville promised he's going to take this...
00:25:36I'm considering packing Geoffrey in.
00:25:39One date was enough.
00:25:41Why?
00:25:43He's cancer and I'm Libra.
00:25:45Is that bad?
00:25:46Hopeless.
00:25:47Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment.
00:26:01Five.
00:26:02Five, which is...
00:26:03Which is...
00:26:05Three and two is five, which is two less than seven.
00:26:09Which is...
00:26:11Oh.
00:26:13I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza.
00:26:17Bank clerks.
00:26:18Your lot.
00:26:20Football supporters.
00:26:22Hippies.
00:26:23Oh.
00:26:24My lot.
00:26:27At the third stroke, it will be 7.22 and 40 seconds.
00:26:35It will be 7.22 and 50 seconds.
00:26:38That's it, then.
00:26:42Fate.
00:26:43All over by 7.23 precisely.
00:26:47So what?
00:26:50Plenty more where she came from.
00:26:53PHONE RINGS
00:26:54Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:57Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:03Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:24It's terrifically exciting, isn't it?
00:27:26Getting to know a person.
00:27:27Fantastic.
00:27:28I want to know all about you.
00:27:35That's what it's all about.
00:27:39For example, with things in common already.
00:27:42Definitely.
00:27:45About what?
00:27:49We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:52Right.
00:27:53And we're both from Manchester.
00:28:00Have you ever been abroad?
00:28:02No.
00:28:04Have you?
00:28:05No.
00:28:07Unless you count Istanbul.
00:28:09Istanbul?
00:28:10Was it beyond belief?
00:28:12I don't know.
00:28:13I was only three.
00:28:15Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:21Sometimes.
00:28:22Sometimes.
00:28:24I do.
00:28:26What now?
00:28:29No.
00:28:30Just, just sometimes.
00:28:35Yes, I do.
00:28:38Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:42In getting to know a person.
00:28:43He was lithe and easy-limbed, his stride quietly casual, his eyes clear and confident, and
00:28:57his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:03You know, Geoffrey, you have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:10Really?
00:29:11You know, lopsided.
00:29:15I don't think I have.
00:29:17It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:21See?
00:29:23Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:26He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:30It must be marvellous being a man.
00:29:34It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:35Men can do anything.
00:29:37Conquer Everest.
00:29:39Do heart transplants.
00:29:40Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:44Anything!
00:29:44Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:56It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:58Read any women's magazine.
00:30:00It's good for theirs, too.
00:30:02Not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:30:05I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:07All Saturdays.
00:30:10Beryl.
00:30:14Oh, Beryl.
00:30:16Oh, Geoffrey Bobblesbomba.
00:30:18Oh, Beryl.
00:30:19Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:21Oh, Beryl!
00:30:23Are you all right?
00:30:23What exactly happened?
00:30:24Don't tell me.
00:30:26I just had a sharp achak of dramatic irony.
00:30:28Pardon?
00:30:34Come back.
00:30:35They're better.
00:30:36It's better.
00:30:37I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you, it's going to pause.
00:30:43It's not.
00:30:48Urgh.
00:30:52It's only the angels crying.
00:30:55I know how they feel.
00:30:58Well, don't blame me.
00:30:59I haven't done anything.
00:31:00That's true.
00:31:03That's not true, Beryl.
00:31:04I have apologised.
00:31:06I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:08Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:11It must be a bad line.
00:31:13I can't hear you.
00:31:14You'd better apologise again.
00:31:17I apologise again.
00:31:20Gosh, this lousy line.
00:31:23I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday.
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:29Pardon?
00:31:30Is that who I think it is?
00:31:34No, dear.
00:31:46Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:51Sardine sandwich.
00:31:53Is it all sardine?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:56She's got her own trawler.
00:32:03Isn't it awful?
00:32:05What?
00:32:06I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:32:08What's happening in the world?
00:32:09I blame the politicians.
00:32:11What for?
00:32:12For what's happening in the world.
00:32:17Talk to her.
00:32:18I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:23Tasty.
00:32:26Very in oil.
00:32:27Very nice in oil.
00:32:28She's got a bad leg.
00:32:31The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:34Why, after this little baker down the road,
00:32:35he does something with the bleach.
00:32:40Yes.
00:32:40I can't do long conversations about sardine
00:32:49so much as your mind goes blank.
00:32:54Start thinking about life after death.
00:33:01Ooh, that Neville, honestly.
00:33:03Number of hearts he must have broken.
00:33:06Every girl in Manchester, nearly.
00:33:07Geoffrey definitely has.
00:33:10Probably even more.
00:33:13Air hostesses.
00:33:16All sorts.
00:33:18Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey.
00:33:20I haven't had one yet.
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue.
00:33:25Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future.
00:33:33Wow, is that the time?
00:33:34At this moment in time.
00:33:36What have I done?
00:33:37Is Neville the insanely jealous type?
00:33:40Right in the slightest.
00:33:42You're lucky.
00:33:43Why, it's Geoffrey.
00:33:46Wow.
00:33:47You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you?
00:33:50Of course not.
00:33:50Why should I be?
00:33:52Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey.
00:33:53Forget it.
00:33:56That's all in the past.
00:33:58Then, nothing to be jealous about.
00:34:03Who needs drama?
00:34:04So I shouted back at her.
00:34:08No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted.
00:34:10In the end, Neville nearly bolted me for swearing.
00:34:14He thumped you.
00:34:16Walloped you on.
00:34:18No.
00:34:19I said nearly.
00:34:20You never thumped me, will you?
00:34:24Like Neville does Sandra.
00:34:27She adores it.
00:34:28Of course not.
00:34:31No.
00:34:34Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life.
00:34:37It isn't even one of the things in mind.
00:34:38You used to talk to me.
00:34:40All right.
00:34:41Let's talk.
00:34:46Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea.
00:34:49Why?
00:34:49Is your mum going out?
00:34:53May as well pack in, really.
00:34:57Why?
00:34:59Why not?
00:35:02Good thinking.
00:35:03Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:35:12You too.
00:35:13It was real.
00:35:14It's psychedelic.
00:35:15You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:35:17I was scratched anyway.
00:35:20It's been a gasp.
00:35:21Groovy.
00:35:23I won't wave from the window.
00:35:25No, I won't look back anyway.
00:35:27Good.
00:35:28It's been a gasp.
00:35:29You've said that once.
00:35:30You're well-readed, Beryl.
00:35:41There's plenty more fish in the sea.
00:35:45About three very lonely sardines.
00:35:50Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me.
00:35:53You know you can't do it.
00:35:54You'll never thump me, will you, Geoffrey?
00:36:03Ow!
00:36:04Beryl, I've just had the most super idea.
00:36:07Are we going to put it up?
00:36:08No.
00:36:09We're going to pack it in.
00:36:10Don't say that.
00:36:11Please don't say that.
00:36:12That.
00:36:15Sandra.
00:36:16Sandra.
00:36:18You're Sandra.
00:36:19You're Sandra.
00:36:19Mine.
00:36:20Two months.
00:36:24Two months, nine days.
00:36:28Is she positive?
00:36:30The test was.
00:36:31What are you going to do?
00:36:33She'll think of something.
00:36:35Sandra, it's stupendous.
00:36:39Congratulations.
00:36:40I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:36:42Oh, thanks, kid.
00:36:44Sandra, I don't know how you do it.
00:36:48Often.
00:36:50Come on.
00:37:18I'm sorry.
00:37:19John for Pope.
00:37:42Long Mayer Reign.
00:37:49Aren't you, er...
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:54And you're, er...
00:37:56That's right.
00:37:58Going somewhere incredible.
00:38:00I'm meeting my parents.
00:38:02Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.
00:38:04That's pretty incredible.
00:38:06Your mummy and daddy.
00:38:08Er...
00:38:10Oh hell no, that's tomorrow.
00:38:12If I'm in the mood.
00:38:15Where you are?
00:38:18Depends where you take me.
00:38:30All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...
00:38:33Rowland.
00:38:34Rowland.
00:38:35Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring.
00:38:39It's not bad at snooker.
00:38:43And how are you and little Beryl?
00:38:46Didn't she tell you?
00:38:48I don't work there anymore.
00:38:50I packed her in.
00:38:52What?
00:38:54Woo hoo.
00:38:55Woo hoo.
00:38:56Woo hoo.
00:38:57Woo hoo.
00:38:58Did she turn you on?
00:39:00Daryl?
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02I haven't really looked.
00:39:07Seen one.
00:39:08You've seen them all.
00:39:09Not quite all.
00:39:10I'll go and get me coat.
00:39:12What's been my birthday?
00:39:13Boys aren't the only thing in life Beryl.
00:39:15I do wish you'd find one.
00:39:17They aren't all after Percy Filth.
00:39:18Yes they are.
00:39:19Mmm.
00:39:20Oh you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:21What's been my birthday?
00:39:22Oh you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:23What's been my birthday?
00:39:24Oh you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:25Oh you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:26Mm.
00:39:27Terrific self control.
00:39:29Joan of Arc never married yet she led a full and happy life in.
00:39:32I was bên.
00:39:33Oh.
00:39:34Oh you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:35Oh you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:36What's her?
00:39:37That's great.
00:39:38That's great.
00:39:39peace.
00:39:40Yes they are.
00:39:41Yes, they are.
00:39:42Mmm.
00:39:43Oh, you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:46Was I?
00:39:48Mmm.
00:39:49Terrific self-control.
00:39:52Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.
00:39:56Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:59Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:40:02I happen to be interested in having early nights and writing poetry in bed with my Moe felt-tip pen.
00:40:06It's through a night of ink. I used it for my laundry list.
00:40:09My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:13Mmm. Mmm. Mmm, please. Mmm, don't. Please.
00:40:19You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:22Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:26Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:33It is me birthday.
00:40:36What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:40I don't believe that question.
00:40:42You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:45I was 11 years old. He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.
00:41:06What's your name again?
00:41:21What's yours?
00:41:22Rock.
00:41:23That's not your real name.
00:41:25No. Stephen.
00:41:27Mmm. God, that turns me on. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
00:41:38When I first met you in the street, I thought, just a quiet drink and a chat.
00:41:43Shows you the art of conversation ain't dead. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
00:41:49Don't move a muscle, however gorgeous.
00:41:54Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
00:41:58Mmm.
00:41:59Mmm.
00:42:00Mmm.
00:42:01Mmm.
00:42:02Mmm.
00:42:03Mmm.
00:42:04Mmm.
00:42:05Mmm.
00:42:06Mmm.
00:42:07Testing. Testing.
00:42:08Oh, Geoffrey Millieup returns to the day.
00:42:10I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself.
00:42:12Mmm.
00:42:13Mmm.
00:42:14Mmm.
00:42:15Mmm.
00:42:16Mmm.
00:42:17Mmm.
00:42:18Mmm.
00:42:19Testing.
00:42:20Testing.
00:42:21Oh, Geoffrey Millieup returns to the day.
00:42:23I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself.
00:42:25I'm fed up.
00:42:44Who are you?
00:42:46Who are you?
00:42:47Hmm.
00:42:48What are you fed up about?
00:42:51Teachers don't have to do homework.
00:42:54No.
00:42:55They just mark it.
00:42:57Anyone can mark it.
00:42:59They've got the answers.
00:43:05Do you know it's after two o'clock?
00:43:08What's he doing here, then?
00:43:12Well, er, this is your Uncle Stephen.
00:43:16This is my revolting brother, Jeremy.
00:43:22How do you do?
00:43:23Don't my mum and dad know he's here?
00:43:25Jeremy.
00:43:26Bed.
00:43:27I could always wake them up and tell them.
00:43:29Jeremy, little boys need sleep.
00:43:35Even big astronauts.
00:43:37Do you know where babies come from?
00:43:41Do you?
00:43:43Say no.
00:43:44No.
00:43:45I do.
00:43:46Say yes.
00:43:47Shall I tell you?
00:43:48He knows.
00:43:49The man has this male organ and some blood cells and erectile glands.
00:43:53And there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has as well.
00:43:58And they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has.
00:44:02Who told you that?
00:44:04Then they go to the fallopian tubes after that.
00:44:06One of them fertilizes with the female egg.
00:44:09The others don't bother.
00:44:11Anyway, that's what you have to do.
00:44:13And then you have a baby.
00:44:15Did they teach you that at school?
00:44:18They do woodwork in the next class.
00:44:21People can only make babies at certain times of the year.
00:44:24But animals, like dogs and cats and giraffes, I think, do it all the time.
00:44:31N-No, erm, that's people.
00:44:35What is?
00:44:38Well, people do it all the time.
00:44:44Whenever they feel like it.
00:44:50In the next class you can do metalwork if you don't like woodwork.
00:44:55Good night, Jeremy.
00:44:5825p?
00:45:0050.
00:45:0250.
00:45:13Good night, Uncle Stephen.
00:45:24Would you care for a government health warning?
00:45:34Hey, Veronica!
00:45:36Yes?
00:45:37Who the hell's Uncle Stephen at ten past two in the morning?
00:45:39A friend of Jeremy's.
00:45:41He's going now.
00:45:44Good night, love.
00:45:48We would have done that, wouldn't we?
00:45:49And how.
00:45:54You can't win them all, can you?
00:45:56Anyway, do you good going without for a change.
00:46:04Still, there's always another day.
00:46:06Tomorrow?
00:46:07Tomorrow?
00:46:08No.
00:46:10Tomorrow's another day.
00:46:11Shh!
00:46:12Not unless you happen to be in Plymouth.
00:46:15Where?
00:46:16I'm joining the Wrens for three years.
00:46:21What Wrens?
00:46:22The Royal Navy's Wrens.
00:46:26This time tomorrow I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors.
00:46:31Hope I like it.
00:46:33Well, thanks for nearly everything.
00:46:39We definitely would have done, wouldn't we?
00:46:42Well, obviously.
00:46:44We're as good as dead, in a way, really.
00:46:47Almost.
00:46:49Just keep telling yourself and we will have only better.
00:46:52Goodnight, love.
00:46:55Try our barrel.
00:47:02Morning, previous generation.
00:47:27What's for breakfast?
00:47:28You knew it was your mother's birthday.
00:47:33Now, what we'd like to know is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof?
00:47:37I'm sorry, Mum.
00:47:39I'll take you out another night. Something cropped up.
00:47:42Like what?
00:47:44Dad, you understand.
00:47:47I don't, Geoffrey.
00:47:49Well, you always say you do.
00:47:51Geoffrey, you're at it every night.
00:47:54Yes, Dad.
00:47:55And we don't complain.
00:47:56No, Dad.
00:47:57But last night was different.
00:47:59I knew you'd understand.
00:48:27I knew you'd understand.
00:48:30Charlton for Pope.
00:48:31Long me around.
00:48:32Amen.
00:48:34What's going on?
00:48:35Pounds down again.
00:48:36Up and down like a pair of knickers.
00:48:39You should know.
00:48:41Or me.
00:48:43Know what I mean?
00:48:45What a night.
00:48:47Wow.
00:48:48A lot.
00:48:49A lot.
00:48:51Including action replays in slow motion.
00:48:57Hey, lads. I picked up a bit of spare last night.
00:48:59Who didn't?
00:49:00No, it's true.
00:49:03Yes, Geoffrey.
00:49:05It is.
00:49:06Yes, Geoffrey.
00:49:12Bloody is.
00:49:16Poor Geoffrey.
00:49:17Beryl, please.
00:49:18It's Neville's engagement party as well.
00:49:20He had to invite him.
00:49:22He'll see me.
00:49:23It's cruel.
00:49:25He'll see other girls.
00:49:27I shan't take him back, Sandra.
00:49:30I shan't.
00:49:32It's been two weeks.
00:49:33He may have got over you by now.
00:49:34Don't know much about men, do you, love?
00:49:38I shan't.
00:50:03It was doing him a kindness, really.
00:50:05Finally splitting up.
00:50:07He only had one ambition in life.
00:50:10Send my knickers to Oxfam.
00:50:16Good job she hasn't joined the rent.
00:50:18The entire Navy had gone strike.
00:50:21I expect he's sorry now.
00:50:24I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't.
00:50:27She might have changed, of course.
00:50:30If she has, I might let her have the old orgy now and again.
00:50:33He's got to accept we've finally split up.
00:50:36Otherwise, I definitely won't take him back.
00:50:42Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:50:45At least I've got me pride.
00:50:48I left with Beryl, baby.
00:50:50Oh, hi.
00:50:50Didn't see you.
00:50:51No, nor me.
00:50:54And how's Manchester City doing without me cheering them on, then?
00:50:57United.
00:50:58We're winning every game now.
00:51:00Oh, good.
00:51:02And what's new with Geoffrey, then?
00:51:10I asked you what was new with you.
00:51:11I asked you.
00:51:16Did you?
00:51:17Did I say more?
00:51:20Pardon?
00:51:21And how's Beryl, baby, getting on, then?
00:51:24Geoffrey, I'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me Beryl, baby.
00:51:28It isn't like you.
00:51:29Say that again.
00:51:31Beryl, baby.
00:51:31What's your name, handsome?
00:51:36You'll laugh.
00:51:38Everybody laughs.
00:51:39It's the story of my life.
00:51:41You tell it like it is, Chuck.
00:51:50She's putting on an act.
00:51:51What do you care?
00:51:55I don't have a baby.
00:52:02Is she going to get into bed with him now?
00:52:07Probably.
00:52:10Geoffrey always looks half asleep these days.
00:52:12Well, it's very exhausting.
00:52:16It is.
00:52:19Working in a bank.
00:52:20Oh.
00:52:21I had this bad scene, this chick, and decided to split.
00:52:33So I cut out, man, like there's no tomorrow.
00:52:37This cat gets it together where he's at, man.
00:52:44Lots of beautiful bag, baby.
00:52:47So if you want a piece of the action, don't cool it.
00:52:53Dig?
00:52:56Hmm?
00:52:56I'm sorry, I no understand English.
00:53:07Gesundheit.
00:53:09I thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one.
00:53:13She has.
00:53:15And which is her husband?
00:53:17Neither.
00:53:18It's warming up, isn't it?
00:53:31Great beat, isn't it?
00:53:34Great to dance to.
00:53:40Do you agree that life's an onion?
00:53:44If so, what's death?
00:53:46Erm...
00:53:49A banana.
00:53:52Yes, I expect it is when you think about it.
00:53:56Have you read Schopenhauer's concept of existence?
00:54:00Erm...
00:54:02No.
00:54:03But I've seen the film.
00:54:05You married?
00:54:07No.
00:54:09Grab yourself an adage.
00:54:11Marriage is a cabbage.
00:54:14You're married.
00:54:16Never ask the questions.
00:54:18Ask the answers.
00:54:19You are a poet.
00:54:22To any manager, Marks and Spencers.
00:54:26Good job.
00:54:28I'm heavy dirt, Chip.
00:54:30Now he's taking his clothes off.
00:54:34What's on ITV?
00:54:36This.
00:54:38What's on BBC?
00:54:39You're cutting over.
00:54:41What's that like?
00:54:41This.
00:54:42Oh, come on now.
00:54:43You know that's not where it's at.
00:54:44Let's get this.
00:54:45What's the word?
00:54:46Let's get it clear.
00:54:47Let's get down to the real nitty-gritties-ville, okay?
00:54:50Women's lip is not about burning brass.
00:54:51Papers, yeah.
00:54:52What papers?
00:54:52What papers?
00:54:53A marriage certificate, a dog's license, whatever you prefer to call it.
00:54:55You know that's not where it's at.
00:54:56Let's get this.
00:54:57Let's get it clear.
00:54:58Let's get down to the real nitty-gritties-ville, okay?
00:55:00Let's get down to the real nitty-gritties of course, what was the word?
00:55:09Women's lip is not about burning brass.
00:55:12Papers, yeah.
00:55:13What papers?
00:55:14A marriage certificate, a dog's license, whatever you prefer to call it.
00:55:20Look, let's be basic about this, Enid.
00:55:22All girls want marriage and a white wedding.
00:55:25Really basic.
00:55:26You want to be really basic.
00:55:28Utterly basic.
00:55:30Balls.
00:55:32Graves?
00:55:34Enid, when Sandra says every girl, she means most girls.
00:55:38Well, like herself. Not me, of course, because I incredibly value my independence.
00:55:43But most girls definitely want...
00:55:45Balls!
00:55:47If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation without recourse to...
00:55:50I'm not recourseing to anything. I'm merely telling you what girls want.
00:55:54What?
00:55:55Balls!
00:55:56Would you please stop saying that?
00:55:59You believe in free love, right?
00:56:01Wrong! I believe in free everything, freedom from all male chauvinists, pig domination.
00:56:06Honestly, don't you understand?
00:56:08Excuse me, you've got your hand on me...
00:56:10Beryl, Graves, no thank you!
00:56:12Excuse me, excuse me, you've got your hand on me...
00:56:14No!
00:56:15Argh!
00:56:17Oh, sorry! Well, I'm sorry.
00:56:19It's all right.
00:56:20Oh, gee.
00:56:21It's a pleasure.
00:56:22Graves?
00:56:23Geoffrey, if not to.
00:56:24Why not?
00:56:26I said don't. You're not to smoke it.
00:56:37Oh, wow.
00:56:39We're as liberated as you, Enid.
00:56:41We've equal importance as individuals.
00:56:44Neither of us is boss.
00:56:45It just doesn't arise.
00:56:47We'll make some coffee, please.
00:56:49You see, what we...
00:56:50Now!
00:56:51You see...
00:56:52Well, one.
00:56:53I can see there's only one way to get through.
00:56:58I can see there's only one way to get through.
00:57:04What are you doing?
00:57:05Lighting everybody's fire.
00:57:11Burn my bra.
00:57:12Right.
00:57:13Right.
00:57:14That's it.
00:57:15Finished.
00:57:16The end.
00:57:17Full stop.
00:57:18We've finally split up.
00:57:19Neville.
00:57:20Sandra wants you.
00:57:21I should imagine.
00:57:22Sad, isn't it?
00:57:25Pathetic.
00:57:26Well, I can't follow plays these days.
00:57:41It's just showing real life, that's all.
00:57:48I once thought I'd found her.
00:57:50The perfect girl.
00:57:52Red hair.
00:57:55Not too skinny.
00:57:57Very gentle and shy.
00:58:01Passionate when roused.
00:58:03Yeah.
00:58:06She packed me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick.
00:58:08You're very sweet, Roland.
00:58:11I've always thought you were.
00:58:16Did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin?
00:58:20It's just I'm a bit tired.
00:58:21No, it's nice.
00:58:24I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:25Oh, sorry.
00:58:47I don't think I washed that one.
00:58:49Oh, sorry.
00:58:54Do you know...
00:58:55What, Beryl?
00:58:56She can ask me anything.
00:58:59Do you know where Geoffrey's got to?
00:59:04He's upstairs, I think.
00:59:05Is it true they're dry on their own?
00:59:15Usually.
00:59:21I hate to be any trouble, but I think I'm dying.
00:59:25You'll be all right, honest.
00:59:27She said I shouldn't smoke it.
00:59:29Who?
00:59:30She said...
00:59:34Geoffrey?
00:59:37Geoffrey?
00:59:44Sorry.
00:59:45Geoffrey.
00:59:46Ooh.
00:59:47Ooh.
00:59:48Ooh.
00:59:49Ooh.
00:59:50Ooh.
00:59:51Geoffrey.
00:59:52Ooh.
00:59:53Ooh.
00:59:56Move up a bit, Geoffrey.
00:59:58Put your legs...
01:00:00Ooh.
01:00:01That's better.
01:00:05It's because it's your first time, isn't it?
01:00:08Ooh.
01:00:13Call Dr. Wise, put a Quilmslow road.
01:00:20It wasn't marijuana, you know.
01:00:26What was it then?
01:00:28Grass.
01:00:30Grass is marijuana.
01:00:31This glass wasn't.
01:00:34It was the real thing.
01:00:37From the front lawn.
01:00:48Is that you, Beryl?
01:00:54Had a nice time,
01:00:56even though it's three o'clock in the morning.
01:00:59Not that I mind, if you've had a nice time,
01:01:02even though I've been in bed since ten,
01:01:04having a good night's worry.
01:01:07Did you see Geoffrey?
01:01:12That's good.
01:01:29Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:36I didn't try at all.
01:01:38Gave it to rest.
01:01:43I'm right off, birds.
01:01:45I am.
01:01:46I am.
01:01:47I am.
01:01:49For good.
01:01:51Me too.
01:01:52And me.
01:01:53Good morning.
01:01:54Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:01:58Can I, then?
01:01:59Good morning.
01:02:00Good morning.
01:02:01Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:02:04Can I, then?
01:02:05Good morning.
01:02:06Good morning.
01:02:07Good morning.
01:02:08Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:02:10Can I, then?
01:02:11Good morning.
01:02:12Good morning.
01:02:13Good morning.
01:02:14Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:02:16Can I, then?
01:02:41A barrel.
01:02:42A barrel.
01:02:43A barrel.
01:02:44A barrel.
01:03:11Geoffrey, can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?
01:03:24Oh, Beryl.
01:03:27Oh, Geoffrey.
01:03:30Oh, God.
01:03:41Oh, hello.
01:03:43Ta-ra.
01:03:45Will you be required in the room again, sir?
01:03:47Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.
01:03:51You're a bugger.
01:03:53I don't know who he takes after.
01:04:03Hello?
01:04:04It's me.
01:04:05Who?
01:04:06My God, that's symbolic.
01:04:08Oh, hello, Beryl.
01:04:10I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.
01:04:13If you have a phone or call, please don't, because I shan't be in,
01:04:15tonight or any other night.
01:04:17Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:40I love you.
01:04:41I love you.
01:04:42I love you.
01:04:43I love you.
01:04:48Small world.
01:04:52Good evening, Mrs. Battersby.
01:04:54I was looking for a nice lampshade.
01:04:56Oh?
01:04:59Probably this one.
01:05:00Definitely.
01:05:01Magic in satin.
01:05:02Oh, certainly, Geoffrey.
01:05:04Who's here in his nice crimson shoes?
01:05:10You'd like some nice fancy random paper, wouldn't you?
01:05:17I'm a child of the universe, Beryl.
01:05:18I have a right to be here.
01:05:19I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays.
01:05:21Try the co-op.
01:05:22Beryl, listen.
01:05:23Have you got that in another colour?
01:05:24No, madam.
01:05:25I'll leave it then.
01:05:40Listen to what, for heaven's sake?
01:05:42Don't matter.
01:05:43What doesn't?
01:05:44You wouldn't, anyway.
01:05:45Wouldn't what?
01:05:47Go to the match with me on Saturday.
01:05:50Me?
01:05:51A football match?
01:05:53With 40,000 skinheads and you?
01:05:56Told you.
01:05:57Who are they playing?
01:06:05Huddersfield Town.
01:06:07In the cot.
01:06:08I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town.
01:06:15They're...
01:06:16They're fourth from the bottom.
01:06:18Show them.
01:06:19Shows you.
01:06:22Away from home, they've won three, drawn five and lost 12.
01:06:28Drawn five.
01:06:33So what do you think?
01:06:36I think I nearly love you.
01:06:37I think I nearly love you.
01:06:38Oh, my God.
01:06:39Get together...
01:06:46There's nothing more.
01:06:47All they've been leaving here.
01:06:49Come home.
01:06:57Go home.
01:07:02Oh, well.
01:07:03It's only a game.
01:07:06I thought you said you nearly loved me.
01:07:13No!
01:07:15Yeah!
01:07:16I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to watch United.
01:07:21I may be wrong.
01:07:22Grace who?
01:07:24We live in a permissive society, Beryl.
01:07:26Read any colour supplement.
01:07:28Mother, you're supposed to be my mother.
01:07:30I am, love.
01:07:31And it wasn't through going to football matches.
01:07:34You are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up, even if he's only on the phone.
01:07:39Yes, well, boys are very safe.
01:07:42And I am your mother.
01:07:44That's what I said.
01:07:47I don't mean permissive permissive.
01:07:51Let's see.
01:07:52Romantic.
01:07:55Pardon?
01:07:56Kissing, cuddling.
01:07:58Things of that nature.
01:08:02Oh, we do.
01:08:03Do what?
01:08:05What you just said.
01:08:06Good.
01:08:07Not too much, I hope.
01:08:09Oh, God.
01:08:10Boys are very funny.
01:08:12They're novices compared to mothers.
01:08:18Did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains?
01:08:22Oh.
01:08:22Two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains.
01:08:32Fantastic.
01:08:32The cowgills.
01:08:33Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:42Married couple.
01:08:45Newlyweds.
01:08:46Not long married.
01:08:49You go bald doing that.
01:08:51Doing what?
01:08:52Yes, sir.
01:08:52I'll tell you, 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains.
01:09:09Living in sin.
01:09:10Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?
01:09:21If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano, would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?
01:09:28I don't think so.
01:09:31A barrel would.
01:09:35Giving you a bad time, is she?
01:09:38Oh, I wouldn't say that.
01:09:43I haven't even mentioned the word.
01:09:46What word?
01:09:47Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking she's automatically after...
01:09:53I never said you were!
01:09:54You think it!
01:09:55All right, Geoffrey.
01:10:10I hereby promise never to utter the word again.
01:10:15Marriage?
01:10:16Never.
01:10:19Well, until I am.
01:10:20If I ever do.
01:10:22Which I fervently hope I never will.
01:10:23For someone who's not uttering something, when's your old pee coming out?
01:10:31No two people have a divine right to happiness, Geoffrey.
01:10:34You mustn't feel guilty about me.
01:10:38Sorry.
01:10:40No one can say you've completely ruined me life.
01:10:44Not yet.
01:10:44What are you staring at?
01:10:55Hello?
01:10:56You all right, son?
01:10:57Terrific.
01:10:58Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat, then?
01:11:01Your mother's theory is you're overworking.
01:11:04Hmm.
01:11:05My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird.
01:11:08Oh.
01:11:08What's your theory?
01:11:10Indigestion.
01:11:12Oh.
01:11:14What's yours, Sundance?
01:11:17Hasn't he said anything at all?
01:11:19He has said one thing.
01:11:21Oh, what's that?
01:11:22If God had meant sardines to be in oil, it had given them dipsticks.
01:11:24All right.
01:11:25The weeks and months drag by, and with neither side willing to compromise, we still have
01:11:33deadlock.
01:11:35Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma.
01:11:40Another wild night learning what N.O. spells and how many of us school pals are getting
01:11:43married.
01:11:44And what N.O. spells.
01:11:47And what N.O. spells.
01:11:48Great.
01:11:49I might as well go bald and open my own monastery.
01:11:51And so, society, that's you and me, says, end this dispute.
01:11:58End it now.
01:12:00Good night.
01:12:01Hear, hear.
01:12:03Good, wasn't he?
01:12:04Terrific.
01:12:05Especially when he said good night.
01:12:08We're just enjoying ourselves.
01:12:10Having a good time.
01:12:12Just having fun.
01:12:14Feeling happy.
01:12:16Take two a day, after meals, and one if you find yourself crying hard out again in the
01:12:21middle of a zebra crossing, for no reason at all.
01:12:27You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?
01:12:29Absolutely positive.
01:12:33That was the first film we ever saw together.
01:12:38Make that three a day after meals.
01:12:39Look, Beryl, how's this for a peace plan?
01:12:52You join a marriage bureau, and I'll get a job on the stage, twice nightly in Denmark.
01:12:58Then we'll both be happy.
01:12:59Right?
01:13:00Right.
01:13:01Good Jesus Christ, superstar, amen.
01:13:05Oh, well.
01:13:07Pounds up again.
01:13:08See you tomorrow.
01:13:10Do you think you're going?
01:13:17Geoffrey, I'll get the sack.
01:13:18It's important.
01:13:19It's important.
01:13:21What is?
01:13:24I keep asking you, what is?
01:13:28What is?
01:13:30To be on our own.
01:13:32What?
01:13:34So as we can talk.
01:13:36What?
01:13:42That old speech worked out on the bus this morning.
01:13:45The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think.
01:13:51Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United, and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me.
01:13:56Grace who?
01:13:57She was playing for United as well.
01:14:00Weird, isn't it?
01:14:09The main thing is, we do communicate.
01:14:14Oh, we do.
01:14:15Through what face did they want to...
01:14:24See, what I...
01:14:25See, what I...
01:14:25Go on.
01:14:27No, you.
01:14:27Mine wasn't important.
01:14:30No, mine wasn't.
01:14:41Beryl?
01:14:42Do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?
01:15:10Probably.
01:15:17Probably.
01:15:18I've not actually said the words often.
01:15:20Well, not in so many words.
01:15:23Mostly in words to that effect.
01:15:24Is there anything you don't love about me?
01:15:42No.
01:15:43I don't think so.
01:15:44Honestly, no.
01:15:46Nothing.
01:15:46If there is...
01:15:47If there isn't...
01:15:47You just tell me and I'll stop doing it.
01:15:49There isn't anything.
01:15:50Honest.
01:15:51Good.
01:15:54It wouldn't upset me.
01:15:55It would just make me a better human being to deserve your love.
01:15:58Like, you know, crimson shoes and bottled green socks.
01:16:10Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottled green socks, Beryl.
01:16:13If I did, I'd stop to please you.
01:16:20I see.
01:16:20There's no need to be sensitive, Geoffrey.
01:16:27In a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.
01:16:33Your mother.
01:16:34Pardon?
01:16:34I like your mother.
01:16:35Please don't sulk, Geoffrey.
01:16:37Hand her lampshades.
01:16:37Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.
01:16:42Well, you ought to know.
01:16:43You've almost made it an art form.
01:16:45Anything else at random?
01:16:47You've got 24 hours to spare.
01:16:48After all, I'm no Bridget Bardot.
01:16:51According to reliable sources in Saint-Tropez, she's 105 next birthday.
01:16:54Over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford can tell the difference between Bridget Bardot and Beryl Battersby.
01:17:00Ask any opinion poll.
01:17:02I'm much fatter for a start.
01:17:04You're not all that fat, Beryl.
01:17:05I am.
01:17:06Start slimming.
01:17:07Men like something to get hold of.
01:17:09If they're allowed to get hold of it.
01:17:11You always succeed in getting back to Percy Philth in the end, don't you?
01:17:14Always.
01:17:15No, I don't, Beryl.
01:17:16You do.
01:17:16I always fail.
01:17:18Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?
01:17:20The extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.
01:17:23Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells.
01:17:26Especially for the 600th time.
01:17:28That they really dig.
01:17:30You never say dig.
01:17:31I did then.
01:17:32Your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about.
01:17:37That's really lovable.
01:17:38I never knew you thought that.
01:17:42Neither did I.
01:17:44Do now, though.
01:17:53You used to say dig before I met you.
01:17:59You used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:01There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:07Thinking what I'm thinking?
01:18:33I think so.
01:18:34You just don't like each other.
01:18:38At all.
01:18:51Oh, goodbye, then.
01:18:53Good luck.
01:18:55Peace, man.
01:19:00St Anne's Square.
01:19:01St Anne's Square, please.
01:19:04So that just leaves a cot,
01:19:15two matinee coats,
01:19:17two romper suits,
01:19:19and what else do I need?
01:19:22Oh, yes, a ring.
01:19:24Teethine ring?
01:19:26Wedding ring?
01:19:27Of course.
01:19:27Oh, they have gorgeous prams in the shops these days.
01:19:32No wonder everyone's at it.
01:19:35Oh, sorry.
01:19:37What about?
01:19:38Skip it.
01:19:40About time, too.
01:19:41With her sympathy.
01:19:43Not that I need any, actually.
01:19:45I've never been as happy in me life.
01:19:47But she doesn't know that.
01:19:49If I'm looking miserable, Sandra,
01:19:51it's because I'm feeling happy for you.
01:19:54Yeah.
01:19:58We know what you must be thinking.
01:19:59Of course we do.
01:20:01How to pop the pink without going in off.
01:20:08Ace.
01:20:11She used to wear pink, you know.
01:20:12I won't tell you where.
01:20:17A hell of a lot more where hers came from.
01:20:20Wow!
01:20:24Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:26I know, spells no.
01:20:30Super day for it.
01:20:33Sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:36Well, Sandra,
01:20:38this is it.
01:20:39Yep.
01:20:40The big day.
01:20:41Yeah.
01:20:43Coming to the crutch.
01:20:44Crunch?
01:20:46I dare say it'll hardly break me heart in the slightest,
01:20:49seeing him again.
01:20:51You mustn't think I'll be crying inside,
01:20:52because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:55And what's more,
01:20:56no one will know that I am.
01:20:58Because I shan't.
01:21:00Truly.
01:21:02Sandra, please,
01:21:03you've enough to think of.
01:21:08It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?
01:21:11And now one of the bride and groom on their own.
01:21:18Do you mind stepping back, sir?
01:21:21Fine.
01:21:22This is fine enough.
01:21:23Here?
01:21:24About there, lovely.
01:21:25You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.
01:21:28Wow.
01:21:29Official permission to actually kiss her.
01:21:30Phew.
01:21:31Ow!
01:21:31Oh, sorry.
01:21:35That's right.
01:21:37Hold it.
01:21:38Lovely.
01:21:40Right, now, a nice family group with the parents, please.
01:21:43Bride parents.
01:21:43Funny.
01:21:44I remember the Friday lunchtime they first met.
01:21:48How have you been?
01:21:50Absolutely great.
01:21:52You?
01:21:53Never better.
01:21:54Ever.
01:21:54It's all over now.
01:21:59Bar the salmon salad.
01:22:02It's tuna fish.
01:22:04It's life.
01:22:12See, President Nixon went to China, then?
01:22:15That was before we ever met.
01:22:17I know.
01:22:18Why?
01:22:19Has something happened about it?
01:22:21No.
01:22:21Oh?
01:22:22Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?
01:22:24Hmm.
01:22:27Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going
01:22:31to the moon.
01:22:33Nixon?
01:22:34Why is he going?
01:22:36No.
01:22:38The astronauts.
01:22:39Oh.
01:22:41It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:46We never really talked, did we, about things that matter?
01:22:50Good, isn't it?
01:22:51Shows we're friends.
01:22:53Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:22:55Everybody thinks we're broken-hearted.
01:23:01We've really grown up, haven't we?
01:23:03My mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much Percy filth.
01:23:07I'm right off it, myself.
01:23:09I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.
01:23:13Oh.
01:23:14I expect it's only temporary.
01:23:16I hope not.
01:23:17It's marvellous.
01:23:18Good.
01:23:19I don't fancy you in the slightest now.
01:23:22Thank you, love.
01:23:26Still off the food, I noticed.
01:23:28And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future.
01:23:35Fantastic.
01:23:36For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.
01:23:41I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.
01:23:46In bed a bit.
01:23:51And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol
01:23:54and marry her three days later.
01:23:56We probably won't see each other at all now, we're pals.
01:24:02I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.
01:24:04Oh, yeah.
01:24:05I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.
01:24:08Where's she going?
01:24:09Hospital.
01:24:13Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.
01:24:16We'll bump into each other.
01:24:41We'll talk.
01:24:42I'll let you.
01:24:42Oh, hello Mrs. Battersby. You won't remember me.
01:25:00Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:04Is Beryl there, please?
01:25:08She's gone to the football match.
01:25:11There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:14Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:38Hi!
01:25:41When's the kick-off?
01:25:44In about three months. Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:48What on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:51I forgot. I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:56Where will you go now, then?
01:25:59I don't know.
01:26:04I could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:09Where will you?
01:26:11Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:13Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:16Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:18May as well. If you like. Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:23Just as friends.
01:26:25Oh, I meant just as friends.
01:26:26Yeah, I did.
01:26:35Wish we had a ball.
01:26:38Could play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:43Oh.
01:26:48Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:26:50Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:05We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:22Anyone, really.
01:27:25Anyone, really.
01:27:34There's millions to choose from.
01:27:37All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:41You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:44You will, Beryl.
01:27:46Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:49Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:56You have to share.
01:28:06You have to share.
01:28:13You have to share.
01:28:25And you'll find sometimes
01:28:33Love and rainy weather can turn out fine
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun
01:28:41When the crying's dark
01:28:47Love and rainy weather
01:28:51Are followed by the sun
01:28:56Love and rainy weather
01:29:00Love and rainy weather
01:29:05When the crying's dark
01:29:12Love and rainy weather
01:29:16Are followed by the sun
01:29:21Love and rainy weather
01:29:25Love and rainy weather
01:29:29You
Recommended
1:43:13
|
Up next
1:47:15
1:56:01
1:29:13
1:46:29
1:57:49
2:51:52
2:27:30
1:43:10
2:25:23
1:22:59
1:47:15
1:37:41
1:43:11
1:37:37
1:33:22
1:44:44
1:38:11
Be the first to comment