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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, remodel boyfriend.
00:07It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:14We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42There's one thing you can do, like one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy?
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:04I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:39Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:48Look at you right now.
02:50Okay, fair enough.
02:52Yeah.
02:53And...
02:54Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude.
02:58You have a match.
02:59And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my god, let me see.
03:04Swoonworthy.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Local athlete.
03:07He has a five star rating.
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:14Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing you have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:21Let's see.
03:22Wait, what are you doing?
03:23Uh...
03:24Done.
03:25You're meeting him today.
03:26Today?
03:27Yeah.
03:28Like, this today.
03:29This one.
03:30So...
03:31Let's get dressed.
03:32Zoe!
03:33Yeah!
03:34Zoe!
03:35Come on!
03:36That is too soon!
03:37Damon!
03:38Hey!
03:39I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke out.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:32You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Two, three, nine.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please, don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay, I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:19What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great, I'm in.
05:28No.
05:29Look, we can't do that.
05:30He's, he's your brother.
05:31Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:44Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No, forget it.
05:46Look, I'll find someone else.
05:47Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on, you want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:56It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:06Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:12That's, that's his birthday party.
06:14Exactly.
06:15That's, that's his birthday party.
06:17Exactly.
06:19Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:24Will you please answer the question?
06:26Jeez, take it easy.
06:28I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:34Okay, okay, yeah.
06:35What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:39Um...
06:41We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:48Isn't that kind of lame?
06:49It's not lame.
06:50It's believable.
06:52No, what we need is an epic love story.
06:57To blow everyone's mind.
06:59What epic love story.
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:04Well...
07:06Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:14I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:19Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:23I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:38That's why I'm on the app.
07:40With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:47Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:48I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:50Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:54How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:03Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:05Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:09I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:13I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:22Nope.
08:24No more of that.
08:26Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:29What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:31You already look amazing with that.
08:33You can save the theatrics for now.
08:34We're not at the party yet.
08:36No, I'm serious.
08:37You look beautiful.
08:39You always do.
08:43I guess I'm just nervous.
08:45Don't worry.
08:46I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:47I promise.
08:49You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:51I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:53Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:55When you guys first started dating,
08:57I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
08:59I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:01You started in all the school plays,
09:02got every solo and chorus.
09:04You still have time for math leads.
09:07I can't believe you know all that.
09:09I always thought you just ignored me.
09:11I mean, I'm just nervous.
09:13I'm nervous.
09:14I'm nervous.
09:15I'm nervous.
09:16I'm nervous.
09:17You just ignored me.
09:18You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but...
09:21I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole
09:25too-cool-for-school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coyle.
09:30Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decided
09:40to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:45We're here.
09:46We're here.
09:47We're here.
09:48Oh.
09:49I'm not a boy.
09:50I'm not a boy.
09:51I'm not a boy.
09:52I'm a man.
09:54I'm a boy.
09:56I'm a boy.
09:57I'm a boy.
09:58I'm a boy.
10:01I'm a boy.
10:03I'm a boy.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking
10:09because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:40I'm gonna give this drinks. I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:11You and the town hottie?
11:13No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together. Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:30See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:48So I may AF this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have I ever?
11:59Woo!
12:00Let's play.
12:03I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:19Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:22Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh.
12:29Cute.
12:30Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:38Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:39Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:44Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
12:48Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
12:52Face it, Claire.
12:53You'll never be more than just another number to him.
12:55Claire.
12:56Claire.
12:57Claire.
12:58Claire.
12:59Claire.
13:00Claire.
13:01Seriously, Claire?
13:02You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:03No, I didn't do anything.
13:04It was Chelsea.
13:05Don't blame Chelsea.
13:06You're just gonna be completely out of my league.
13:07Yeah.
13:08I'm not gonna be completely out of my league.
13:09Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Oh.
13:11Oh.
13:12Oh.
13:13Oh.
13:14Oh.
13:15Oh.
13:16Oh.
13:17Oh.
13:18Oh.
13:19Oh.
13:20Oh.
13:21Oh.
13:22Oh.
13:23Oh.
13:24Oh.
13:25Oh.
13:26Oh.
13:27Oh.
13:28Oh.
13:29Oh.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:32You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:37Hey dude, are you okay?
13:40Cause that game was brutal.
13:42And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night, and I thought we were...
13:51Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57no matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this
14:01perfect little box it all comes crashing out around me and now the one guy I
14:05might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where probably setting up
14:10a new date with the girl in that stupid app so yeah I'm I'm done planning plans
14:17can suck it
14:27hey sorry I ran out like that left my phone in the car and I had to grab it
14:35to get on the app of course what just wait wait where are you going home and
14:41don't worry I'll still write a good review for you I wouldn't want you to miss
14:44out on any more epic dates hey talk to me you just left me in there I know I'm
14:51sorry I wasn't thinking I don't care anymore Damon look you were right Jake's
14:55an ass so the plan this it's over what if I don't want it to be over what if I
15:05don't want it to be over you could have your pick of any girl out there so why
15:10don't you just get on the app and find someone else yeah I got on the app because
15:13I wanted to delete it what I deactivated my account why would you do that look I
15:20know I'm just another number you're not just another number okay you never were
15:25I don't want a fake date with you anymore all right I want a real one
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work
15:41well maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking
15:45come on slap shot two three nine pick me home
16:11are you sure I'm doing this right yeah just make sure these two dots match they'll make that side a little bit bigger
16:23okay I'm trusting the process I'm just glad we get to go sag together you never got a date right no date but Damon's really not coming I bought him a ticket in case he changes mind but he won't budge well that's his loss because you are about to be the best home
16:29homecoming queen that we have ever seen no way I don't even know how I got nominated and of course Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins I feel like the only reason
16:38reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win knowing her she'll probably dump a bucket of pigs blood on my head at least she's vegan so you know be synthetic maybe Jake like campaign for you guys to reignite something because I heard rumblings I said you know you're going to be the best homecoming queen we're going to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen no way I don't even know how I got nominated and of course Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win knowing her she'll probably dump a bucket of pigs blood on my head
17:08But him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:12Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:19I don't even remember.
17:20You know, gossip travels.
17:22That looks pretty good.
17:26But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single
17:33day.
17:34Yes, Damon.
17:36My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her
17:41school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:46So hot.
17:47It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird.
17:53We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why?
17:55I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
18:00it was over before it began.
18:02J-Zoey.
18:03J-Zoey.
18:04J-Zoey.
18:05J-Zoey.
18:06Absolutely not.
18:07J-Zoey.
18:08Well, more Zoey for me.
18:09Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:13Oh, it's Damon!
18:14Or should I say Claremont.
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can.
18:22Claremont.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay.
18:26Bye!
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:32You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:39I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:44Your royalness.
18:45I know.
18:46You can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:12I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:14Why could that be?
19:16Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:24She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year because I would have to play in prom
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could she not be?
19:47Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:51It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:53You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:03Wow.
20:04And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, um, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance
20:15together, get a cheese board, and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff
20:21that actually matters.
20:23Oh, look.
20:24Someone my age is calling.
20:25I didn't mean- Claire.
20:26Bye.
20:27I need to fix this.
20:28Hey, Jake.
20:29Claire!
20:30Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:44Whoa.
20:45Did- did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress.
20:48What's up?
20:49Cool.
20:50Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things
20:58don't get awkward tonight.
21:01You mean if we win?
21:03Uh, we're gonna win.
21:06Is Chelsea gonna be upset if win, we win?
21:11If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:21That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I- I would.
21:36It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just, at least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:55Grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
21:57Jinx!
21:58Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:03Whoa.
22:04Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:07Yeah.
22:08I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:12And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:19Yeah.
22:20You neither.
22:22I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way we make it happen.
22:32One dance before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:35As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:43Fine.
22:45Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:51You mean...this one?
22:53Oh god.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:56My eyes!
22:57What, like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see, by all means.
23:15Oh, uh, sorry.
23:25Chelsea's calling me.
23:26I should get it.
23:28I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah.
23:31Yeah.
23:32See ya.
23:45Hello?
23:46Hello?
23:47Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:48Wow.
23:49You look incredible.
23:50Thanks.
23:51Are you...are you going somewhere?
23:52Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
23:53Look, I'm sorry about before.
23:54I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming, and...I don't know.
23:58I really wanted you to be there.
23:59Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
24:00I should have known how important it was to you.
24:01It's okay.
24:02God, how do you...how do you do this?
24:03You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:04If you think I'm gonna let my brother out, I'm gonna let my brother out.
24:05I'm gonna let my brother out.
24:06Oh, thanks.
24:07Thanks.
24:08Are you...are you going somewhere?
24:09Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:10Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:11I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming, and...I don't know.
24:12I really wanted you to be there.
24:13Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
24:14I...I should've known how important it was to you.
24:15It's okay.
24:16God, how do you...how do you do this?
24:17You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:26If you think I'm gonna let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:31Is this gonna match your dress?
24:34You're coming?
24:35And you got me a corsage?
24:37Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43Are you crying for me?
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing.
24:47Nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well, how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:13This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:21Yes.
25:22Yes.
25:23It is.
25:24Oh, it's so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:26What?
25:27No.
25:28No, I mean, I'm...I'm not NOT watching hockey.
25:32Come on, babe.
25:34Tell me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow, and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:38Anybody who's anybody who's seen this.
25:40Classics just code for old.
25:42I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:45Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:49Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the
25:54first half of the day, and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:57Um...
25:58Crap.
25:59Crap.
26:00Crap.
26:01Crap.
26:02Um...
26:03Nico...
26:04Guitar...
26:05Flames is calling?
26:06Who's that?
26:07I...
26:08I completely forgot.
26:09I have a...
26:10A lesson.
26:11Now.
26:12Is this why you've gotten someone to guitar lately?
26:18Hey!
26:19My favorite student!
26:20And my favorite student's...
26:22Friend?
26:23We...
26:24We were just watching The Long Way, and...
26:26And we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes!
26:28I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not her friend.
26:38I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who...
26:41Who was just...
26:42Leaving.
26:43Bye, Damon!
26:44I mean, I can stay.
26:45I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48But no!
26:49I...
26:50I mean...
26:51No!
26:52No!
26:53She's right.
26:54Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I...
27:09I don't...
27:10We...
27:11I...
27:12We don't...
27:13Um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course.
27:17Yeah.
27:18I've...
27:19I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:21I mean...
27:22Not a...
27:23Not a...
27:24Bunch of times.
27:25The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it.
27:29You know?
27:30There's just...
27:31There's a lot of stress.
27:32And then you don't know who should say it first.
27:33Or...
27:34When you should say it.
27:35Or if...
27:36If they'll ever say it back.
27:38And...
27:39Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe.
28:00What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome.
28:07I'm...
28:08I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So...
28:14Here's a funny little question for ya.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:19Niko...
28:22Yeah.
28:23He's...
28:24He's not even that good looking.
28:25Like, at all.
28:26Oh, no.
28:27He's a solid 9.5.
28:28And then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's...
28:32It's weird.
28:33You know?
28:34We...
28:35She's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:36And...
28:37We're watching movies they both like.
28:39Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:46Zoe.
28:47Okay.
28:48I wouldn't feel great about it.
28:49But I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:50I would know that she really wants to be with me.
28:51And not him.
28:52I just don't get it.
28:53I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
28:54I haven't even heard her play anything.
28:55Yeah, Damon.
28:56I don't know.
28:57Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
28:58Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe?
28:59Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:00If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:01Jake?
29:02Yeah.
29:03Is that weird?
29:04I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:05Yeah, okay.
29:06You're right.
29:07You're good friends though.
29:08Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:09Don't stress.
29:10I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:11Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:12Focus on that.
29:13Yeah.
29:14Thanks now.
29:15I'll see you tomorrow.
29:16Yeah.
29:17Thanks now.
29:18I'll see you tomorrow.
29:19Don't youuff.
29:20Woof.
29:21Fuck.
29:22I'm gonna yell, Cally.
29:23I'm gonna call her money.
29:24I'm gonna call my dad.
29:25And I only know three of them.
29:26I'm gonna call her luck with actually the również a little joke.
29:30It's too boy.
29:31Okay.
29:32Alright, I'm gonna call her really, really well.
29:35Jake?
29:36Yeah.
29:37Is that weird?
29:38I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:40Yeah.
29:41You're right.
29:42You're good friends though.
29:43Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:44Don't stress.
29:45Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right. She starts dying with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:32I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening, per usual.
30:42That's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:46Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico. Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:03Music, art, culture, languages. You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with. Are you?
31:13We have conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:17Oh, yeah. About what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously, though, Damon. Hockey's like your one true love, and it's kind of boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:30Like what?
31:32Like Claire. And I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob, alright?
31:40Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked, and she's actually kind of... interesting.
31:56So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah. It's actually not terrible advice.
32:05Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be her boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye.
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Nico to be her boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye.
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:26Thanks, bye.
32:36Hey, I was just going to call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel, and I, this was going to be your birthday surprise, but I just, I didn't think I could wait.
32:57You're the cream in the coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:15You make me want to laugh, and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19Click, you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:23I have to say, bye.
33:31I love you.
33:34I love you, too.
33:37Moment stealer.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe, and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has her back, which I love.
33:52Huh, well, and I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals.
34:11Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:25Blue, white, baby, as bright as the sky.
34:34Hit it in the clouds and then we fell so high.
34:38I think you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say, I love you.
34:49Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:57Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:10Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that.
35:16Claire, I'm, I'm playing with you.
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:30Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:34Please, do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping, so, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon, there's no going back.
35:52Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No.
35:57Not talking, just, I don't know, we dated for so long, it feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:04And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to be?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:17I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:20You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:34Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot.
36:47Just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Well, it's Damon.
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
36:56Bye.
36:56You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:10I'll let it slide.
37:11You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:19I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:27Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:37So you remember.
37:39She's back.
37:40Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:43Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that.
37:53I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise, she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures,
37:58and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, Duna, she is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:15Trust me, it's strictly a friend name.
38:17I don't know.
38:17I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:19You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire.
38:27Come on.
38:28Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:35I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special.
38:42She's here.
38:42I gotta go.
38:42Love you.
38:43Love you.
38:44Love you.
38:45Love you.
38:46Love you.
38:47Love you.
38:48Love you.
38:49Love you.
38:50Love you.
38:51Love you.
38:52Love you.
38:53I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Ha ha.
39:02Funny.
39:03You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow.
39:08Which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha.
39:10Natasha.
39:14Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand.
39:17And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to
39:24ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:38Okay.
39:39He's pretty.
39:40He does that.
39:42Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:48Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:51I can't look at it.
39:52She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers.
39:54She's not gonna see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe.
39:57You look.
40:00What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:04Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:14Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it.
40:21You're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:49And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him
40:54for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like, whatever.
41:09I gotta go.
41:10Don't trip.
41:11I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:26Hi.
41:27You calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:28Nothing.
41:31Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing.
41:40What?
41:40Nothing.
41:42Nothing, nothing?
41:43Or something, nothing?
41:45You were right.
41:46That was a bad idea.
41:47It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all.
41:51I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait.
41:57You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried.
42:00Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:01I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way.
42:06Are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:08Like, ever.
42:10Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please.
42:22You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on.
42:32Let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the tree punches, right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down.
42:44Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:51Who knew he'd get so mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome.
42:55And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how...
43:12Uppercuts.
43:12Target zone.
43:13Where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin.
43:14Elbows tied to the body.
43:16Now.
43:17Wow.
43:18That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad.
43:25I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean, no, Claire.
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating
43:34Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think
44:03it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something
44:10huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my God.
44:14What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:19I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not
44:25being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:42I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough
44:55hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:08I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:22What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with David?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:35Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh.
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy.
46:57But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her?
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:02I don't know, it's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:21Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about, yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:58You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:08I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:35Maybe. Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:43Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
48:59Did I open a cursed box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:21No, look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah. Another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:36What?
49:41Nothing. I just... I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no. I just... I think it's... maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:48Of course. You got this.
50:55Pick up. Please pick up.
50:57Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked.
51:17I'm just... I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:19But that doesn't matter.
51:23Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:28Claire, seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be... my person.
51:39If you're happy... I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:47And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:09I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait.
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:30But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
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