- 8 hours ago
Bu video Dailymotion Python SDK ile yüklendi.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Telling a woman she's a bad mom is, like,
00:02the most offensive thing you can say to her.
00:06The bad mom is having a moment in pop culture.
00:09It's a bad mom!
00:13This once taboo and frightening creature has become so popular
00:16she's even got her own movie franchise.
00:19Whatever her reasons, this woman is unable, or unwilling,
00:23to conform to our society's expectations for mothers
00:26to be nurturing, dependable, and unconditionally loving.
00:30Across her various forms, the bad mom is defined by a few common traits.
00:34She's self-centered.
00:36Her desires tend to take precedence over her family's needs.
00:39I just haven't met anybody who's not completely self-absorbed
00:42and impossible to have a conversation with.
00:44If that's a veiled criticism about me,
00:46I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.
00:49This selfishness makes her irresponsible.
00:51Mother, I haven't seen you all week.
00:53You're neglecting me.
00:54I know, honey, but it's nothing personal.
00:56I'm neglecting your brother and sister, too.
00:59She doesn't mince words.
01:00The bad mom can be scathing, even toward her own children.
01:05Oh, poor you!
01:08She's emotionally unstable, given to bouts of anger, depression, or mania.
01:12You make me so mad, sometimes I just want to break your neck.
01:16Did you get the cookies I sent you?
01:18And these episodes might speak to deeper discontent
01:21or psychological issues plaguing this woman who's ill-equipped for,
01:25or unfulfilled, by traditional motherhood.
01:27Don't throw away your dreams for this child.
01:30Don't let that man poison your life the way he did mine.
01:33Fundamentally, this woman is a rejection of all that the perfect mom is supposed to be.
01:39But while the ideal mom is largely a Hollywood fantasy that doesn't exist in real life,
01:45the bad mom is human and real, and that's what makes her so compelling to watch.
01:49However, it would help if you all showed up looking like a loving, supportive family.
01:55For how long?
01:56Ten minutes tops.
01:57See if you can get it down to five.
01:59Here's our take on the bad mom, the form she takes,
02:03and the society that gave birth to her.
02:05I'm doing the best that I can.
02:07Yeah, that's what makes it even sadder.
02:09This video is brought to you by Sundance Now,
02:24the streaming service we watch for the very best films and original TV dramas.
02:29Get 30 days completely free with our link and the promo code, THE TAKE.
02:34Generally speaking, we can break the bad mom trope down into three types.
02:39The Outrageous Mom, a comedic take on the awful mother,
02:43whose cutting cruelty and over-the-top, unfiltered behavior
02:46is deliciously enjoyable to watch.
02:48Catherine's on bed rest.
02:50She's been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix.
02:52Well, why should her cervix be any different than the rest of her?
02:55The Dark Side of the Mom, a more serious take on the trope,
02:58showing us the insecure, emotionally draining, sometimes terrifying side of motherhood.
03:03I'm going to break your arm next.
03:06And The Moms Are People Too Mom,
03:08a relatable version of the trope,
03:10which ultimately reminds us that our moms are human beings too.
03:14And like the rest of us, they shouldn't be expected to be perfect.
03:17Yesterday I gave Bernard the wrong juice box,
03:20and he called me a dumb bitch.
03:22Let's begin with our first type,
03:24The Outrageous Mom.
03:26This first version of the bad mom is, first and foremost, funny.
03:30Jesus, whose kid died?
03:32Oh, who remembers? Check Pam's blog.
03:34But her humor is vicious,
03:36as devastating for her children as it is entertaining to us.
03:39Come on, I've suddenly lost my appetite.
03:41Oh, who's going to believe that?
03:44Still, The Outrageous Mom isn't generally evil.
03:47She's just a bit of a jerk.
03:49And most of the time, that behavior is reciprocated by her kids.
03:53Surprise! We want you to leave!
03:55Yes, that's just what I always wanted.
03:58Ha-ha!
03:59Their mutual sniping becomes its own sort of love language.
04:02I suppose you think that they're more nurturing than I am.
04:07Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.
04:10There may be cruelty,
04:11but most of the time it's softened by genuine love.
04:15I'm done disapproving, Jackie.
04:17I'm just trying to help.
04:20I need to know that someone is looking out for my little boy.
04:25The Outrageous Mom is a caricature.
04:27I mean, it's one banana, Michael.
04:29What could it cost?
04:30Ten dollars?
04:32You've never actually set foot in a supermarket, have you?
04:34She's the extreme opposite of what we expect a caring,
04:37nurturing mother to be.
04:39I'm Owen's friend.
04:40No one doesn't have a friend!
04:43That's because he's shy.
04:44No, he's not.
04:45He's fat and he's stupid.
04:47But the truth is,
04:48there's probably something of her in all mothers.
04:51Maybe they're not as mean as Lucille Bluth,
04:53who adopted a son just to punish one of her other sons,
04:56only to use the new one as a handbag.
04:59There's just absolutely no purse that will go with this outfit.
05:03Got a little pocket there, Anya.
05:06Oh, no.
05:07Emery board.
05:09But very few are as pure as Carol Brady, either.
05:12Oh, Jen, we're so proud of you.
05:14In reality, most moms are somewhere in between,
05:17a little bit of both.
05:19What parent has never made a snide remark at her kid's expense?
05:23Oh, bravo.
05:24You're in a crap harvesting factory, genius.
05:27Put a personal goal before her child's feelings.
05:29Tell her that I'm canceling the lunch that was supposed to prove
05:32there's nothing more important than Katherine,
05:34because something more important than Katherine has come up.
05:37Played favorites.
05:38I love all my children equally.
05:40I don't care for Joe.
05:42Indulged her jealous, manipulative side,
05:44or a scheme to get her way.
05:46What's the matter with you?
05:47Your mother's not well.
05:48Can't you see that she's faking, Milton?
05:51In this respect, the bad mom is perhaps best understood
05:54as a liberating response to all of TV's perfect and proper Carol Brady's,
05:59who took care of the cleaning and child-rearing
06:01while wearing high heels and pearls.
06:03I don't like you using words like flippin' ape.
06:06Or in later years, the Claire Huxtables,
06:09who worked demanding jobs outside the home,
06:11yet still found time to be aspirational parents.
06:14I'm telling you right now, if anybody, anybody at all,
06:18tries to hurt my baby, I'm gonna go out there and stop them.
06:21The debuts of unapologetic bad mom Peggy Bundy
06:25in Married with Children in 1987 and Roseanne in 1988
06:29forever challenged this fantasy of the perfect TV mom.
06:33Roseanne Connor was raising three children,
06:35working her blue-collar job and handling the bulk of the chores,
06:38but unlike her predecessors, she made no secret about resenting it.
06:42And you think everything gets done by some wonderful wizard?
06:45Oh, poop, the laundry's folded.
06:47Poop, dinner's on the table.
06:49She could be extremely caustic, even hostile toward her kids.
06:53Mom, DJ and Darlene are killing each other.
06:55What's the bad news?
06:57Yet Roseanne was compelling to viewers because,
06:59underneath the sarcasm, she was loving and fiercely protective,
07:03and owned the fact that she was doing this her own way.
07:06You think I've made your life difficult so far?
07:10Well, now I'm family, and you've seen the way I treat my family.
07:14In addition to being funny, the outrageous mom is strong.
07:17She refuses to let her personality be consumed by motherhood.
07:21And in this way, she can be empowering.
07:23Oh, you know nothing of my powers, do you?
07:27The outrageous mom's inappropriate and raw comic relief
07:30implicitly mocks all those old-school, goody-two-shoes moms
07:34for being too uptight, reactionary, or inauthentic.
07:38No, there's not going to be a film.
07:40The only thing Katherine ever finished was an entire ice cream cake.
07:43By making light of the darker tendencies that exist,
07:46to some extent in all of our mothers, and all of us, she's cathartic.
07:51It's an idiot on a scooter at night? It's gotta be Job.
07:55Let's give him a scare.
07:57The outrageous mom story normalizes and makes us feel okay
08:01about the pettiness and imperfections in our own family relationships.
08:05What's this? What's happening?
08:07It's going to be all right.
08:09Why are you squeezing me with your body?
08:11It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.
08:13Sometimes mothers didn't want to be mothers.
08:15Did I tell you any of the odds you were boarded?
08:21They even made an appointment.
08:22Some definitely shouldn't have.
08:24And this brings us to our second type of the bad mom trope,
08:27the dark side of the mom,
08:29inhabited by mothers who show a complete lack of maternal instinct.
08:34You're mean.
08:35You betcha.
08:35Unlike the more playful, loving spitefulness displayed by the outrageous mom,
08:40this type of bad mom hurts her children intentionally and irrevocably.
08:44I could stick this fork in your eye.
08:46And it's rarely fun to watch.
08:49This hurt can take the form of neglect.
08:51Listen, I'm only going for a drive.
08:53You want to come?
08:54No, she won't want to come.
08:55You've got better things to do, right?
08:57It can be emotional abuse.
08:59He's gonna laugh and they're all gonna laugh at you.
09:02Or the abuse can be physical.
09:04The lower's already clean.
09:05It's not.
09:06The lower's not clean! Look at it!
09:09In the very worst cases, it can be all of them.
09:12You ruined my f***ing life!
09:14You done took my man, you had those f***ing babies,
09:17and you got me put off the welfare from running your goddamn stupid-ass mouth!
09:21The anger and suffering of the dark side of the mom character
09:24can also express itself in more subtly insidious ways.
09:27If the clothes from that dry cleaning bag are on the floor of my closet,
09:30you're going to be a very sorry young lady.
09:32Mad Men's Betty Draper strains to live up to an idealized image of motherhood.
09:37Because she enjoys the status and idea of being a housewife,
09:41she's in denial of the fact that she hates the reality
09:44of being a stay-at-home wife and mom.
09:46I'm here all day, alone with them, outnumbered.
09:49Betty resents her messy, imperfect kids.
09:53Don't you hate getting manure in there?
09:55Little children, what's the difference?
09:58Taking her frustrations out on them.
09:59Don't you dare let me, I'll cut your fingers off.
10:02And her behavior demonstrates that emotionally she's still a child herself.
10:06Basically, we're dealing with the emotions of a child here.
10:09Betty also attempts to pass down the warped,
10:12old-fashioned values that make her so miserable.
10:14Sally looks fat.
10:16Teaching her daughter to prioritize appearance over everything else.
10:20Not that I could have killed the kids, but worse.
10:25Sally could have survived and gone on living with this horrible scar on her face.
10:30The Soprano's matriarch, Livia Soprano, likewise has damaged her children
10:35with her toxic world outlook,
10:37which prizes the Mafia family's success over her actual family's well-being.
10:42She inflicts emotional damage on her offspring largely through guilt.
10:46And take the carving knife and stab me here.
10:49As with most of the mothers on the dark side of the mom,
10:52Livia takes no pleasure in motherhood.
10:54Babies are like animals.
10:57They're no different than dogs.
10:59And because she herself is deeply unhappy,
11:02she spreads this misery around.
11:04It's all a big nothing.
11:06What makes you think you're so special?
11:08Livia plays the martyr.
11:10I gave my life to my children on a silver platter.
11:14But she always puts herself first,
11:17even if that means putting a hit out on her own son.
11:20I tried to do the right thing by you,
11:21you're trying to be what?
11:22She doesn't understand you.
11:23She's smiling.
11:24Look at the look on her face.
11:25She's smiling.
11:27While these characters diverge in the methods and extent of their abuse,
11:31they all represent some ugly truths.
11:34Motherhood can exact a strong psychological toll on a woman,
11:37exposing insecurities, stirring up primal fears,
11:41even in some cases creating extreme mental disturbance.
11:45Livia Soprano, even as she pushes her children away,
11:48fears being abandoned.
11:49What do you care?
11:51I have a sight out of mind.
11:53Carrie entering puberty triggers Margaret White's fear
11:56that her daughter will grow up and enter a world
11:58she regards as wicked and sinful.
12:01First sin was intercourse.
12:02I ain't sinful.
12:04And, whether they would admit it or not,
12:06the mothers of Fishtank and Precious are in constant fear
12:09because of their precarious lives,
12:11and their hardship is only exacerbated
12:13by the additional burden of children.
12:15Real motherfucking women sacrificed!
12:17As these traumatized mothers in turn traumatize their children,
12:21they bequeath their pain to future generations.
12:24You had to see a shrink because of the mother you had.
12:28Upsetting as these stories can be,
12:30especially compared to the comic relief of the outrageous mom,
12:33they are genuine experiences of suffering
12:35that deserve to be addressed and can be illuminating to share.
12:39Mommy Dearest, whose title remains a shorthand for Bad Moms,
12:43is based on Christina Crawford's real-life account of alleged abuse
12:47by her mother, star actress Joan Crawford.
12:50According to the story,
12:51Joan clung to a narcissistic Hollywood ideal of motherhood
12:54that left her unable to cope with reality.
12:57Beautiful!
12:58But bringing her difficult reality to audiences
13:01has had a powerful cultural impact,
13:04counteracting that fantasy.
13:06Nothing is clean!
13:07I'll play to the best!
13:11Finally, we have our third version of this trope,
13:14The Moms Are People Too Mom.
13:16You cancelled Christmas?
13:18I'm not cancelling Christmas.
13:19I'm holding it hostage.
13:21Unlike the cartoonishly selfish or abusive,
13:24cautionary tales of Types 1 and 2,
13:26the Type 3 example is a complex, realistic depiction of a mom
13:30that reminds us she's a human being.
13:33At least once a day, I feel like the worst mom in the world.
13:36And I cry in my car.
13:38This sympathetic portrayal makes the character's frustration
13:41and exhaustion understandable.
13:43And it illustrates that, on a bad day,
13:46anyone can be a quote-unquote, bad mom.
13:49Do you want to buy her the earrings?
13:51Because that's why she's crying,
13:52because of six-dollar earrings that she has them at home already.
13:56This version of the trope is often the protagonist of her story,
13:59or else her perspective is heavily featured.
14:02We see, from the mom's point of view,
14:04everything she's forced to deal with, day in and day out.
14:07I've had a really long day.
14:09I screwed up my daughter's first day at soccer,
14:12and I hand-searched my son's proof for a pen cap.
14:16Often, the moms-are-people-too mom
14:18begins trying hard to be a really good mother.
14:21I love you. I love you.
14:23Oh my god, mom.
14:24Not so loud.
14:25Oh my god.
14:26I love my baby so much!
14:29God, they hate me.
14:31But, like other human beings,
14:33she reacts to being mistreated by the people in her life.
14:36So sometimes this type 3 narrative is a bad mom origin story,
14:41as when Mila Kunis' Amy in Bad Moms decides to break bad.
14:45Let's be bad moms.
14:47Lois Wilkerson from Malcolm in the Middle may be overbearing,
14:50controlling, even downright bullying.
14:53Boys, go to your room!
14:54What? What do you mean we're on your side?
14:56I said go!
14:58But she was once a caring mother to her eldest son,
15:01who spurned her love and left her embittered.
15:03You two have been at each other's throats since the day he was born!
15:08He started it!
15:09In Bad Moms, once Amy relaxes,
15:12stops holding herself to an impossible standard,
15:15and ultimately learns to forgive herself for not being a perfect mom,
15:20only then is she finally able to be happy.
15:23I think that we as moms do way too much stuff.
15:27So Amy discovers that letting herself be a worse mom helps her become a more fulfilled person,
15:33which, ironically, makes her a better mom in important ways,
15:37like being able to connect and have spontaneous fun with her kids.
15:40Free soap.
15:41No, honey, don't take that.
15:42Oh, no, that's some good soap.
15:43Take it.
15:44Other versions of this type, likewise,
15:46might seem like bad moms by certain rigid standards,
15:49but they have unorthodox strengths.
15:51Lorelai Gilmore may be irresponsible and immature,
15:55behaving more like her daughter's friend than her mother.
15:58There's plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.
16:01Yet her spontaneity and honest refusal to sugarcoat reality
16:05create an unusually strong bond with Rory.
16:08Oh my god, I hate her.
16:09Oh, me too.
16:10You have no idea who I'm talking about.
16:11Solidarity, sister.
16:13And while Lady Bird mom Marion McPherson may come across as harsh on her daughter, Lady Bird,
16:18You should just go to City College.
16:19You know, with your work ethic,
16:20just go to City College and then to jail,
16:22and then back to City College,
16:23and then maybe you'd learn to pull yourself up
16:25and not expect everybody to do everything.
16:28This directness is part of a fiercely close and loving mother-daughter bond.
16:33Oh, honey.
16:37Oh, oh, it's okay.
16:40In Sean Baker's The Florida Project and the Oscar-winning
16:43Andrea Arnold short Wasp,
16:45low-income mothers feel they have no choice but to do things
16:48that appear like grossly negligent parenting to the outside world.
16:52I just want to talk to him for a little bit longer, all right?
16:54If she sees you, she'll f***ing turn us in
16:56and you'll get taken away from me.
16:57Do you understand?
16:59Come on.
17:02But these films' sympathetic portrayals make us understand
17:05that these young, struggling women who love their kids deeply
17:09are faced with an impossible situation.
17:12You know I like pepperonis.
17:13Pepperoni costs money.
17:15All of these examples are showcasing well-intentioned,
17:18but overwhelmed moms, who are dealing with major life stresses
17:22the best they can.
17:23You're a big f***ing c***t, your sister's an asshole,
17:27and your other sister's great!
17:31Oh my god.
17:33Still, like the other two types we've seen,
17:35the Moms Are People Too mom decides not to let motherhood totally define her.
17:40She's a multi-faceted person with opinions and interests and frustrations and ideas,
17:45not just a slave to her children.
17:47You're my mom!
17:48I want you to know if I have sex or if I want to get high.
17:50Ah, no, hide things from me, please!
17:55She defends her right to be a human being, and what's so bad about that?
18:00As much as these three types of so-called bad moms differ from each other,
18:04they can frequently overlap, even in the same character.
18:08On Little Fires Everywhere, Elena veers from being the terrifying dark side of the mom,
18:13What is the matter with you?!
18:15to the relatable Moms Are People Too mom in the same episode.
18:19Oh no, are you okay?
18:22What's the matter?
18:23The outrageous mom is capable of disarming sincerity.
18:26I mean, was I there for every single recital and lacrosse game?
18:30No.
18:30But I just can't even imagine life without my precious Sterling.
18:34The dark side of the mom characters are often victims to be pitied,
18:38and they can move us through moments of humor,
18:40You won't embrace,
18:42You won't embrace,
18:44What the hell are you doing?!
18:46or compassion.
18:47Sally, I always worried about you,
18:49because you marched to the beat of your own drum.
18:52But now I know that's good.
18:53All these people have also been damaged by their own flawed parents,
18:57just as we all have.
18:59In the end, every mom has all three of these people in her.
19:03She can be hilariously petty,
19:05her personality foibles the butt of our jokes,
19:08She can be disturbed, trapped by her circumstances,
19:11and unable to shield her children from her own psychological pain.
19:15And she can be playfully reckless and irresponsible,
19:18feeling like she just needs to ditch the PTA meetings
19:21and have another drink.
19:22Mom, are you driving me to-
19:24Mmm, yeah, yeah, yes, what time?
19:26Oh my god, are you drunk?
19:27Nobody my wife, coach.
19:29You're what?
19:30Every time we meet a bad mom,
19:32we're invited to reflect on the presumptions we have about parenthood,
19:36whether as parents ourselves or as the children of them.
19:39The bad mom trope reminds us that humans aren't defined by these roles,
19:43or by how they measure up according to fixed ideas of what family should look like.
19:48Ideas that, with every passing year, seem increasingly old-fashioned.
19:52We laugh at, fear, and feel for the bad mom,
19:55because each one of us is a part of her.
19:58And she, a part of us.
20:00I think we're all bad moms, and you know why?
20:03Because being a mom today is impossible.
20:10If you're new here, be sure to subscribe,
20:12and hit the bell to be notified about all of our new videos.
20:16This video is brought to you by Sundance Now,
20:19a streaming service with the best selection out there.
20:22Whether you're looking for award-winning documentaries,
20:25electrifying dramas, or acclaimed period pieces, Sundance Now has it all.
20:29One TV show you can check out on Sundance Now is the Australian drama,
20:33Bad Mothers.
20:34In the show's action-packed first season,
20:37Sarah learns that her husband is having an affair with her best friend,
20:40and finds a new group of friends hell-bent on vengeance.
20:44Right now, Sundance Now is offering a free 30-day trial of premium membership.
20:49Just click the link in our description below,
20:51SundanceNow.com, and use the promo code, TheTake, at checkout.
21:21this video?
21:25the next example.
21:29you
21:30have
21:30hundreds
21:31of
21:32the
21:32explics
21:33new
21:33B
21:40someone
21:42W
21:43saying
21:44with
21:45people
21:47the
21:48they
21:48they
Recommended
13:03
|
Up next
20:57
37:05
3:58
15:13
1:06
13:33
13:50
14:14
13:31
19:41
17:07
9:26
16:05
7:28
7:59
12:25
16:52
15:44
10:56
9:02
Be the first to comment